Yesterday we ordered grocery delivery and the only slot we could get was between 8:00 and 9:00 pm. Normally, the grocery delivery person texts us right away after dropping our purchases off on the porch by the front door. This time the text took a little bit to arrive, maybe 10 minutes. I don’t know if there was an interruption of service or what happened, but eventually my phone dinged.
I go outside. I start picking up groceries. The eggs are still cold, the butter is still firm, so not that much time passed.
And then I see this.
Somebody clearly clawed whatever this is open. What is this? Is this a meat tray? No, all my meat is still intact in the bags.
I check the sticker. $5.00. Hmm, what kind of meat costs $5.00 for a tray that size? Oh wait, it’s not meat. It’s sliced watermelon.
The two raccoons that sneak around at night to nibble on the left-over cat food stole our watermelon and ate it.
Look. Here are the watermelon juice stains.
And I found this.
Boots, the semi feral cat that mooches off us, saw the whole thing, the lazy bastard, and didn’t do anything.
We have four – count them, four! – dogs in the house and nobody barked while the watermelon was stolen. We have three inside cats, who run to the window whenever anything moves, and they failed to detect the thieves.
There can be only one punishment for this. Public shame.
THE WALL OF SHAME
These are the lazy beasts who have failed to protect the watermelon.
Shame, shame, shame!
Seeds and all
I love their expressions. Nobody is the least bit worried, except maybe your black doggie. S/He looks like s/he is trying to figure out why your excited. After all the funny looking cats eat the cat food and whatever else they can find. They come to the house every night. Doesn’t that make them family. LOL Now the feral cat looks irritated… Those rodents ate my food. Do you have any more. Too funny,
The shame! Thanks for the laugh, sorry about the melon theft.
They all look so cute! And they know it too! I don’t see a bit of shame in any of them (especially not the cats 😼). 😊
Raccoons love watermelon. That’s how I know the ones in the garden are ready, when I see the claw marks from them trying to get into the rind. 🍉
The shame! Thanks for the laugh, sorry about the melon theft.
The public shaming seems to have little effect on the cats :D, the dogs however look properly contrite. Sorry to hear about the loss of watermelon.
Benefits of public shaming: seeing all of the adorable fur family, who are almost too cute to shame ☺
bwahahaha. the most adorable wall of shame.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 needed the laugh
+1
Wall of shame richly deserved! Fast Trash Pandas out there!
The grey kitty is showing what he thinks of this shaming. Looks like he’s giving you the claw!
I was thinking that the gray one was the model for The Count.
Omg that’s too funny! The wall of shame and no melon to share (all my fur kids begged for watermelon, even the cats). Quite a nice looking group of scofflaws though.
😂
Maybe your pets don’t like watermelon?
This is probably the most ineffective wall of shame ever. They are so adorable and my love for them grows!!
Thankfully though they were raccoons as I genuinely as I was reading this thought of someone who had the munchies first before animals because of all the things I’ve been seeing about porch pirates.
“the lazy bastard”—that part had me rolling🤣🤣
Tsk, tsk. LOL! Raccoons are sneaky. My dogs don’t bark at them either, and the feral cats seem to assume they’re kin.
I feel like Artha would have said something for sure.
hahaha….. for sure. +1
“Hi. I’m Artha.”
I feel the same too, but probably followed by eating a raccoon and dumping it all over the other groceries 😂
Oh, absolutely +1.
This is what we say in my circle of pet owners. Puppers say sorry 😔. Kitties say piss off 😒
It’s a sign, we need more racoon in your books.
I don’t think clan Bouda would be the most hated clan anymore :p
Check out Fate’s Edge. No one can doubt the craftiness of Ming the Merciless!
Better to have sneaky squirrels than smelly squirrels?
Thanks, I needed the laugh and now obviously you need watermelon and a security cam to watch the antics.
A friend’s very large Manx cat liked to steal tomatoes off the kitchen counter. Beebul once swiped a sandwich, hid it by sitting on it while everyone looked for it. Absolutely no shame.
Pet’s are great!
The cats are not sorry. Lol!! Great post
Haha! My old cat, Tornado, would join in the watermelon caper…she loved watermelon and honeydew melon….
Such beautiful babies! They are so adorable! No shame here from me! I know all about those cute little masked bandits. Lol
well, do any of them like watermelon? maybe if it the coons had gone after the meat it would have been a different story.
doesn’t surprise me at all. we had coons living in the bushes behind our house. they were so fast, sneaky and clever and their little fingers are so dexterous. loved to raid the entire pear tree the week before it was ready to be picked. stole cooling pies, within a few minutes of being put outside. when holiday left overs wouldn’t fit in the fridge, they would go in a cooler in the back porch. . . coons once ate a whole turkey. sometimes they could even open a cooler wired shut. the city had to move to coon proof garbage cans.
After our yorkshire terrier went after them and only survived because of the bell on her collar, we trapped them as advised by animal control. then a skunk got stuck in the coon cage. You can imagine how well that got resolved. I have so much sympathy for your skunk stories.
Is there less wildlife at a beach house???
In Florida, by the beaches we still have all the small critters. We also have huge iguanas, boa constrictors, and alligators. They have absolutely no problem coming into your yards, into your swimming pools, into your enclosed decks, etc. So all in all, we have all kinds of adventures with nature’s creatures.
My dog used to dig up radishes from our back garden, and the one of the ways we’d find out (beyond going to the radish patch and looking), is he would be in the room with us. Then suddenly run off, with all of us still in the same room. And a second later our noses would tell us why. Radish season was never the same.
OMG. Thank you. I needed that giggle.
the delivery man was in cahoots with the raccoons. he gave them 10min to grab the watermelons, that’s why you got it 10min late. it’s the only explanation here. would be hilarious if you called your supermarket and give them this conspiracy theory hahaha!
For shame…
Have you seen those raccoons? No, me neither, but I hear they can be scary, with their hooded eyes and opposable thumbs.
HAhahahahahahahahaha! I mean… awww, so sorry that happened to you and sorry you had to miss out on some sweet, delicious, refreshing watermelon… 🙂
Hahahahaaha. I LOVE the look of disdain and utter not caring on Tuna’s face. It is hilarious.
Thanks for a bright, happy (funny for us anyway) post
HAHAHA…The 2nd cat picture says it all
Most of your canine security system does not look ashamed at all. I mean, I expect that of feline security. Why do they care if your watermelon got eaten? It’s not cat food, so it doesn’t matter.
My canine security system is reasonably good, but also sometimes she makes strange distinctions. For instance, she HATES owls and has an ongoing war with the resident owl in the woods that fill half of our property. The next owl over also sometimes gets in on it, but then dog and resident owl momentarily unite to oust the intruder and then go back to hating each other. However, yesterday there was a juvenile tiercel red-tailed hawk perched on our deck and canine security was totally cool with it. Similarly, our current usual mailman is All of the Evil Ever and canine security must bark to ensure that he doesn’t Murder Us All in Our Sleep, but once in a while we have a substitute mailman who is totally allowed on our property. She somehow knows which one is coming when they’re a half-block away, in the truck, and reacts accordingly.
My parent’s canine security is completely useless. I stopped by to let him out once over my lunch break and he hid in the back corner of the basement and even when I called for him, he belly crawled around until he could see me before finally deciding that he could probably get up and act like a respectable dog. Most recently his exploits include laying in the middle of the garage and watching me and my dog walk right into the house without so much as a single sniff to verify that we weren’t imposters. Does not even lift his head. He’s 8, healthy, not overweight, and can run for hours playing fetch, so no excuse for not at least greeting the visitors.
The cats expressions are priceless! Totally do not care.
I love the story but understand why the visiting cat did not get involved. Its 2 against one and they were going after watermelon which I am sure he had no interest in. In addition he lives outside so he not going to rock the boat for watermelon (Call of the Wild in the suburbs – pick you battles with care). Your inside pets have an obligation to warn about intruders and the numbers to put up a good offense so they should be embarrassed.
haha! I love how the cats are just giving you side eye “what’s your problem” looks!
My Amstaff barks when someone moves upstairs, when the cat meows, if a man speaks on TV unexpectedly, and if someone comes home in any house on the block. She barks at the mailman, the kids drawing on the sidewalk, and anyone walking or biking by. But she doesn’t bark at the UPS person or the Fedex person… why? Because they give her treats when they come. She’s a watch dog who can be bought.
Which beats the other dog, I guess, he doesn’t bark at anything except the Amstaff.
We had a dog who lost an eye to a raccoon, Boots was out numbered!! You don’t want your cats messing with something so dangerous!
Who is the cute lil pumpkin between Nykie and Charlie? Also, does Charlie usually hold court with cat admirers? 👑
Raccoons can be mean. Even the skunks around here stay clear of them.
They can go on “silent running” pretty quick, so your furbabies probably didn’t hear them until too late. (But really rude of them to leave the rinds for you to have to clean up!)
Hope your day gets better!!
The expression on the middle cat’s face. “I’m supposed to care…why?”
Your furry babies are gorgeous 😍 ( and obviously have been paid off by the bandits) 😂💜
Lol, for some reason I don’t think they are very upset at this attempt to shame them. Thank you for my morning laugh. Sorry about your watermelon.
LOL
It was the perfect heist!
First the black and white striped creatures (aka skunks) and now the striped bandits. Maybe they’re in cahoots with one another and the grocery store?
After the skunk brigade none of those on the wall of shame want to have anything to do with the bandits who made off with your watermelon. 😀
I really needed a good laugh.
As you have noted before, cats have to be convinced it’s their problem. Obviously, they were not convinced. But there’s just no excuse for the dogs; they should feel ashamed. Very, very ashamed. No matter how cute they are.
Thank you for sharing. Helping my kids with distance learning is making me want to gouge out my eyes, and this managed to make me laugh. Thank you! And your animals are adorable.
They have little masks for a reason! They are the ultimate animal kingdom thieves! They even wash their hands and themselves to minimize scent trails…
Boots said nothing because he is in cahoots with the raccoons….trade ya cat food for some tasty 🍉 watermelon. Stick with me and I will tell you where I hid her 🧶 yarn
I’m dead. This post killed me. The most epic wall of shame of all time. Adorbs!<3
*snicker*. That is such an awesome tale of fruit misappropriation and security shamings.
Our 14yr old yap meister also fails when it comes to defending home and hearth. She’ll bark at other dogs, and will inform the entire neighbourhood whenever a cat crosses through the front yard… people or strange noises within the property don’t even get a sniff.
My dad is a watermelon breeder and when he used to travel to Florida to see his watermelon trials, he would discover watermelons with puncture marks. When he opened them they would be empty except the seeds—the raccoons got to them.
None look terribly shamed…and a single raccoon can take down a full-grown dog. Two can really do some damage. I think in this case the pets decided there was safety in numbers—inside, hidden while the thieves took the loot! Well, in the case of the cats, they had no intention of lifting a paw unless treats were involved. Watermelon just isn’t interesting enough…
They don’t look sorry at all. Thanks for the laugh.
I feel like they need their own theme music as you scroll down. And maybe a name? Although the Magnificent 7 is already taken, sorry. Maybe Clan Clueless? 😂
But truly, this is so hilarious and adorable, I can’t even. Thanks for making my day! 🙂
Oh my. Public shaming. ROTFL
This is too funny and they are too cute.
Also, for some reason, the bite marks on what’s left of the watermelon sent me right into snorting and giggling out loud.
Thanks for the laugh!
🤣🤣🤣🤣
They are so beautiful 🙂
My 2 dogs slept through the Loma Prieta earthquake in 1989. (San Francisco) We lived 11 miles from the epicenter. They were industrious watchdogs, but slept through the whole thing. Barked at neighbors leaving their homes, though.
Most of today’s dogs are a long way from their wild ancestors. But raccoons are still wild and stealthy!
It may be luck of the terrain too. A family friend lived in a building on one of the hills in SF, and she felt nada. Had no clue anything happened until she turned on the news that night.
Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your ancestors! Dishonor on your cow!
I loved Mushu. 🐲🐉
😂😂😂😂😂
I might be silly (since I live where sadly there are no raccoons) but I would totally start leaving watermelon outside on the off chance that I could domesticate raccoons
OMG!! It’s illegal to try to domesticate raccoons here in Ohio, because they cannot be vaccinated against rabies and they’re too dangerous to have around humans because they can have it and you’ll never know and get scratched! Please, don’t try this. The vet across the street from me had one someone had tried to tame to live in a house, and he had to reintroduce it into the wild, and the thing came over to my house, trying to get my children to play with it. His special license allowed him to have it, it finally went wild again, and it went away, but those were harrowing days here. Avoid raccoons at all costs! Long claws, sharp teeth, and no problem biting anything and everything! AUGH!
Don’t!! Raccoons are mean and can carry rabies. We were having a problem with them and my husband decided to be nice and trap them and relocate them. One of the “sons of a disagreeable lady” bit him and he had to get rabies shots. Because of the amount that has to be given he ended up with 16 injections the first day and then had to go back every 2 weeks for 6 weeks for boosters. Needless to say we do not find them cute.
Raccoons can be domesticated, but unlike dogs who had thousands of generations of cohabitation with humans, raccoons are still wild animals. Nrlm is wrong in that raccoons *can* be vaccinated, but right in that those vaccines are no available to general public, only for wildlife officials. It’s never a good idea to bring a wild animal into your home.
+1 They still have wild reflexes when panicked, which too often leads to stitches for humans. And if they’re habituated to humans and they get out, they too often get killed by panicked humans who think they’re rabid. Don’t do it.
Please reconsider! I had a roomie who used to volunteer at a local zoo. They ended up with a 27 pound raccoon who had a very iffy temper and couldn’t live in the wild. Smaller coons are scary enough when riled or defensive, don’t want to think about a coon who outweighs my cat.
Thank You for concern, but as I said – where I live there are no raccoons.
And when I wrote “domesticate raccoons” I ment “I’ll leave food out in visible place so I can watch you eat it and take pictures from safe distance (but close enough for pics)”
I’m not foolhardy enough to try to pet or take home a wild animal.
Although I did try to pet a hedgehog once. She was not amused.
Anyway taking a roccoon home didn’t even cross my mind. ^^
Yeah!!! Shame, shame, shame!!! And shame to Boots as well!
Shame!!!…. but the cats are posing!
Maybe the raccoon was actually a space invader with some extra-special technology avoiding detection?
LMAO too funny. They obviously don’t like watermelon so they figured the racoons could have it – now if they tried to make off with the meat or pet food then the alarms would have sounded.
The raccoons thank you for a tasty summer treat. 🙂
They all look very remorseful (not!)
Tuna so cuteee!
The cats’ expressions are all like: ‘Problem?’🤣🤣
Hahahahaha. Thanks for the laugh and adorable pictures!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
So, yeah, it’s your fault either way. At least that’s the way it works in my house.
Maybe the culprits are Ninja Raccoons. professional thieves. You can’t guard against that! Cornelius in the House! Or outside in a surveillance van.
+1
Instead of trying to steal the hard drive, the bandits made off with the watermelon. 😀
Obviously, none of them *eat* watermelon & care that it was stolen. Now, if it had been a roast or chicken…. LOL!
So sorry about the watermelon loss. Are you sure Boots wasn’t in on the crime?
Love the pictures!
In our house the cats would have been the thief, we have to give them the juice and one of them will drink so much that he sloshes when he walks
please post some pics of the racoons!
Oh, oh, ooh… Ravenous racoons!
Lovely Wall of Shame. Cute and lovely furry friends.
They look adorable! 😀
It’s a sign that I am tired and distracted that I was about to give you a concerned “speech” on how dangerous raccoons can be and it was a good thing the pets left them alone. Then I realized I was being an idiot – this isn’t the first time you’ve dealt with wild life including raccoons. I would have just been a concerned idiot stomping all over your humorous post. Thank you for the post and your patience with your concerned and devoted fans. 😀
I am laughing so hard right now….
I completely understand the frustration of a pet not being anything but ornament!!
Cats in particular are very good a the ‘I will let you love me and feed me and if I am feeling very kind, you can pet me- on my terms’ relationship…. what exactly do we get out of this? If it was a human couple relationship you would tell your friend/sister to dump them fast!! It’s all one way… but the soft fur, occasional purr and demonstration of affection suckers us in every time!! And we love them….
I do sometimes wonder if cats are alien beings carrying out observation on earth based life…???
Cat’s are magical creatures. Their loyalty and affection seems to last approximately the same amount of time it takes for them to ingest a meal.
Rats and dolphins are the alien observers. The dolphins even wrote a note when they left; “Goodbye and thanks for all the fish”.
None of them care about your watermelon.
So I am reading your blog while eating. Guess what , watermelon 🍉 and it was good. So sorry,you lost the watermelon.
Love the wall of shame. Dogs look slightly contrite. Cats never!!They just look smug. Or bored.
Raccoons are mean and can easily maim, if not kill, a large dog. I make sure there is no reason for them to come around as they easiky outweigh my little dog.
I’m good with more pet shaming posts! Bring on the walls of shame! (Shameless dig for more pics of the furbabies, hehe.)
You all need a parrot and a mini goat to complete your menagerie!
🤷🏻♀️ The racoons must be an accepted part of your outdoor family 😆
wow thats a lot of pets! my house wouldn’t even fit that many haha.
very cute, 10/10 would give pets 🙂
SHAME!!! “Dishonor on YOU, dishonor on your COW!”
Porch thieves!
Anyone else picturing a raccoon communication relay on the street.
Bubba Joe (’cause it’s Texas): “Uh, we have a Peapods truck turning onto the street. And it just passed me. It’s heading your way, Pete.”
Pete: “Yep, I got ’em. Come to papa. Damn, they went passed me. Heading your way, Ethel.”
Ethel: “I see them. C’mon, c’mon. Yes! They’re turning in. Let’s see what they got. Yuck, yuck, damn can… Score! Watermelon! Whoohoo!”
Then the other two say “Hey give us some of that! Oh shoot, the persons who live here are gonna find us if we don’t skedaddle out of here!” He-he-he!
mwahahaha! Sorry about the watermelon #FAIL. Have you considered one of these?
https://www.acehardware.com/departments/lawn-and-garden/insect-and-animal-control/animal-repellents/7692353
😹😹😹
Thank you , Ilona Andrews for the chuckle. Interesting raccoons you have. Usually they get the eggs first. Before fruits.
My problem with watermelons in the garden is deer. If I leave one on picnic table it vanishes overnight while dogs have a fit. Cats won’t tackle a raccoon in my experience. So your wall of shame is correct.
They all thought someone else was on duty.
OMG, I did not realise you are practically an animal shelter.
heeheeeheee
Loved the humor, but sorry about the loss of your watermelon. thanks for the pics of the dishonored security guards!! heeheeeehee
This post was so hilarious, loved it. The dogs do seem to feel a bit guilty, but at the same time unsure of what’s the problem. The cats seems to know exactly what the problem is, but absolutely don’t care.
Dog 2 reminds me of a Dr Seuss character. The Lorax perhaps? That is quite a rogues gallery you have. And, with my love of watermelon I would have been *quite* upset at the theft. Maybe you need a locker for deliveries.
Clearly there were bribes involved from the fat black and white squirrels…
The raccoons out here steal watermelons and cantaloupe right out of my garden and I swear the dogs stand look out for them. Rotten little sons of disagreeable ladies.
“Rotten little sons of disagreeable ladies.” That’s a good one.
the post, the pictures – funny & typical by species; the comments – fantastic
obviously a fantastic post
They don’t really look sorry, either.
I’m sorry, but I don’t see a problem of animals here. I see a problem of a delivery person not texting when he pulled into the driveway. You live in the hinterlands, not in city limits, and wild animals abound, especially with people staying in during this pandemic, so it was totally wrong of the delivery person to not tell you he arrived, whether text or honking a horn or yelling out the window. Complain next time you order, and perhaps they’ll replace the watermelon, at least. Dang! I’d be ticked if I lost watermelon to those masked bandits! Fortunately, you got all your real food, but that doesn’t make up for the missing goodies. Perhaps next time, you could put a sign out that says, “Delivery? Please ring the bell or text to ____” and that will help.
The entire wall of shame makes a great showing, though. Cats are all relaxed, dogs are all looking right at you — what’s to shame? THEY didn’t eat that watermelon, after all!
Thank you very much for this laugh today. I had a rough yesterday, a difficult morning, and you have made the afternoon a laugh for me. You never disappoint!
Laughing so hard I am crying right now! Thank you for the pics of your adorable and oblivious cute babies. Wall of shame…😂 At least the rest of your groceries were still intact. I would’ve thought the meat or the eggs would have been the first to go.
Sounds like these two Racoons need to be named Keldar & Audrey!
Et to Tuna
What a menagerie!!! Restricted rations for a month. 😂😂😂
Only if you want the cats to attack you in your sleep! Never mess with a cat’s food (especially a fat cat). They will either attempt to smother you while you sleep, launch a surprise cannonball/kamikaze attack right when you’ve hit your deep sleep, or come up with some other nefarious plot to get their revenge! And you’ll never know when it’s coming. 😼
I did not know that racoons like watermelon. I would have loved to have seen the little feeding frenzy. Especially since it sounds like it was really fast.
And the cats all have facial expressions like, “whats your point”….. lol
“Rotten little sons of disagreeable ladies.” That’s a good one.
That comment was supposed to be a reply to someone else’s post.
Thanks for the day brightener!
Ohhhh, but the Shih Tzu is so cute. The Pres will take my call. He’ll pardon all of them; he’s good at that.
This isn’t about the watermelon although I feel your pain as that is my favorite fruit. I’m a little confused and hope you all can help me. I was reading the Nevada books again (probably tenth time) and Rogan says his father found his mother a strong empath and a slight telekinetic, but in Diamond Fire she is a prime telekinetic. What did I miss how did she ramp up?
The cats would only care if it was their food that had been taken. Since it did not directly affect them, they don’t care. Even about the public shame. They are fuzzy and cute and they know it. They are kinda butts like that. The dogs, however, are like, “Oh, wow, Mom. We totally messed up. Sorry about that. Please still love us!”
But they’re such cute beasts!
That gray cat looks like he could give a sh*t, lol.
LOL!
And then there are the things they DO bark ferociously at, that are completely
unnecessary. SPOUSE MOVED TOOL IN BASEMENT!!! BIRD ON PORCH!!! KITCHEN STOOL TOUCHED COUNTER!!!
They never stop loving us though.
🤣🤣🤣 I love this
Hilarious! But glad it wasn’t the meat! Our last grocery delivery “forgot” to call us so we didn’t know it was there til we tripped over it! We were very lucky that things hadn’t spoiled (Do heat) and that the neighbors dogs hadn’t got into it!
Apparently, none if them are as tough as they look.
You always make me laugh! Thank you for that!
No one looks worried about this wall. Except maybe the black puss cat. Who seems to be saying.” Wait what I missed out on some food”. 😂😂😂
BWAHAHA, thanks for the laugh! Sorry about the watermelon, I’d have been so disappointed, especially on a hot day.
Serious shame on them and no watermelon for you ?
Sorry to say this but I see no shame for their failure to perform duties but dang I feel like I would give the cuddles and not time out….fur babies faces,I have no defense.
Thank you. That made my day! They are super cute in their shame!
Haha. But mom our show was on! And they could have had rabies.
And the best come back… I’m sorry, we are looking out for the black and white squirrel. This theft was not pertinent to our other investigation.
Too funny! You need to blast that song Watermelon Sugar for the raccoons. Vengeance is yours! Ha!
The cats look annoyed at being on the wall of shame. It must have been the dogs week to patrol.
Hahaha!!! I am listening to Magic Strikes (when Derek finally woke up) and this post had me laughing so hard it hurt! Those hounds and cats are hilarious!! Thank you! 💕💕💕
Maybe you need a shaming board like some penguins have. Come up with a treat for a number of “good” jobs done.
You have no idea how much I needed this bit of silliness today!!! Stalking the blog pays off even when you are simply sharing “everyday” moments. Your sense of joyful irreverence makes even tough days better! Thank you for sharing the giggles.
Too funny!
For letting those bandits eat the watermelon…the ripper cushions are getting your picture in the Hall of Shame!
😂😂
The Covid delivery bandits strike again.
This dynamic duo terrorizes mere mortal house pets
Authorities have a little hope of apprehending the thieves
A unnamed source said they will be difficult to find because they always wear masks
In related news, authorities are predicting a watermelon shortage
+1! 😂😂😂😂 excellent reporting on this breaking news of the hour!!!!
Umm…the cats don’t seem to see the problem. If it was cream they may have said something. But watermelon? Nah
That is so funny. We have crows that steal the containers we put treats in for our chickens. Wonder what people think when they find random containers in their yards.
Oh my stars,
I needed a good laugh.
Thank you!
Wish we lived closer – our watermelon patch is bountiful and I would be happy to share – a Robinhood Style porch bandit, delivering melons to the patchless.
Thanks for the laugh! Ah the Wall of Shame… serious ripper cushions for being lazy! 😄
Dear Ilona and Gordon, your blog is amazing and makes me smile so often. Спасибо!
My first thought was, “What would Curran say?”
Then I had this image of all your courageous beasts mentally chanting “don’t touch the meat, don’t touch the meat” . . .
Watermelon, to them, is probably just something occupying the space between them and the meat.
Ummmm…thinking the raccoons are bigger than the dogs? I get bears and cougars…..thinking raccoons are small potatoes. =) That doesn’t excuse their thievery. Bad raccoons!
I am cracking up laughing at this. The theft alone is hilarious, but the wall of shame is just too much!
I love this post so much. None of these animals look shame face, but they all look adorable and very very loved. You guys have big hearts I can tell.
Hahaha! Just like the lazy lugs that live in my house. Hide the silverwear!
Clearly the fault is yours. The way it works in our house is, nothing is done without the lure of a treat. We’ve learned the ropes! LOL!
Black and white stinky squirrels also like watermelon! The poor fur babies are confused. You get upset when they go after them. They were just saving you from being skunked out again. By keeping a low profile they even saved the rest of the food And you! What if you had opened the door to see what they were barking at? Those pesky intruders would have cut loose with their chemical weapons!
They are invisible raccoons. There is no other explanation.
They all mock you. This is their way. Accept.
I know you post pictures of them regularly but I can’t keep their names straight. Would you (or anyone else) list them from top to bottom? Since they are all there 😁
Nykie
Baby
Charlie
Sookie
Tuna
Oliver
Salem
Thank you!
Maybe you can get the dogs to look mournful but the cats have no shame!
Bah ha ha! Those poor failed protectors, maybe they need a magic sword to help them out.
“Wait”, they say, “Have you seen Raccoons? They walk on their hind legs, and have HANDS. What were we to do, really? Plus, bed time?”
Thanks for the laugh! They’re so cute!
A veritable rogues gallery… what sort of sentences are you giving these careless villians? 😀
Your ginger cat looks a lot like my lap limpet, who will do almost anything to eat melon. Maybe the cats were in on the plot to liberate your loot!!
Freeloaders?!
I love the ‘crime scene’ photos with the watermelon juice pooling on the stairs. Next time we need chalk outlines of the rinds and yellow tape marking off the area.
Boots has my sympathy. He was out there patrolling and couldn’t get backup from HQ. Now his badge and good name are on the line…
Pfft nicely put 🤣
I would die for the second dog u posted omg
I don’t know why I hear the second cat saying in a British accent, “who me, I’m supposed to care about Your Watermelon!?” 🤣🤣
Thanks for sharing bits and pieces your life with us.
OMG! I’m dying laughing!
Those cats look mighty concerned.
LOVE THIS!!!!
Thanks for the laugh; and the pictures of the adorable indoor animals who clearly don’t care one whit about your watermelon.
😂
YOU probably would be ashamed, but clearly not those rascals…
The wall of shame is hilarious! I just finished reading Emerald Blaze and came to check out your site and saw the post and wall of shame! Haha I just wanted to say I love your writing!
It was just watermelon Mom!!! That stuff is inedible… for dogs and cats.
We have guinea fowl at my house with the chickens. We purchased them because they “supposedly” will attack snakes in the yard and I have small children so I thought it was worth a try. Nope, they stood there and watched as a 5 ft brown slithered between them and backed me up my fence. Useless noisy birds.
😍 😍 adorable
Laughing so much!! Sorry for the watermelon but seriously!! 4 dogs, 3 and 3 quarters cats and no one even twitched while the whole thing was happening??!!
(Counting the semi feral cat who mooches off of you as well… He eats your food, is most of the time on your premises, just does not stay inside the house…..)
Good luck with the shaming. None of them looks the slightest bit guilty, not even the dogs. 😉
Cats lack the genome for shame, and as a certain animal mage pointed out, they have to be convinced it’s their problem. To be fair to the dogs, the watermelon bandits have probably honed their skills to ninja like stealth. They are one with the watermelon.
We had a cherry tomato plant once. Gorgeous, healthy, never grew a single tomato. Or so we thought, until the day we sprung the schnauzer casually strolling past and biting off the ripe ones.
Animals are shifty. Even the cute ones.
Lolz, be the watermelon
Hey there… can’t tell by the pic that his ear is ticked, or if it was mentioned before, but does that feral cat happen to be neutered? Baby daddies can be responsible for 100’s of kittens in a year if roam around, most who suffer so much they don’t make it to adulthood. Local vet clinics and shelters usually have a network of contacts for volunteers who will come out and do Trap-Neuter-Return. (I foster hood kittens and cats) I’m not local, but I’m willing to help out make the calls. Let’s make him #balllessandflawless
Overall, I’m not seeing a lot of shame from the lazy guards.
I can see that they are all overwhelmed by guilt.
I can see they all look to be suitably chastened.
Our cats were death to rodents of every ilk, drove off strange cats and dogs, including a Great Dane. He walked on the other side of the street forevermore.But both skunks and raccoons got a free pass. Sadly the dogs were not that smart about skunks. At one point we thought we should buy stock in Skunk Off. When JJ, our old Ger. Shepherd, went deaf his buddy, Rocky,a gigantic cat, would jump on him to alert him when anyone was coming. JJ could then bark and carry out his part of the deal. They were great partners for years. No one wanted to tackle raccoons though.
🤣🤣🤣🤦♀️🤦♀️🤣🤣
Love the wall of shame, filled with the un-contrite.
Texas-style solution might include a live trap, a 22 rifle, and a shovel. Imagine, you could create Raccoon Cemetery in your backyard.
Dark humor for dark watermelon-less times…
Were the groceries delivered to a cooler on the front steps? And the raccoons lifted the lid? It would be interesting if it were the delivery person who wanted a watermelon snack. :-/. I have not thought about catch-vaccinate-release for raccoons before.
They all are cute I’m sure it wasn’t their fault those thieves must’ve been too fast… And the second cat seems like he/she couldn’t stop any thief… stop feeding him so much 😁 there’s a scene in a short story of the dresden files where Harry took his daughter and his dog, Mouse, to the zoo… and mouse has his own pov and he explains how he is a little over weigh due to he is so a good dog… i remember that scene looking at your cat! 😁
The occupants of your public shame gallery are adorable!
The dogs look a little guilty. The cats don’t seem to give a f. I’m even more impressed with House Andrews writing schedule considering the local menagerie.
Hahaha oups ! 🐱🐶
Hi- Cute cute post. Thanks for that.
Also, I wanted to let you know that you are #14 on Amazons book bestseller list as of yesterday. Congrats. I’m glad others love the book as much as I did. Peace and blessings to House Andrews.
The lack of guilt on all those faces!
I believe this was a intentional ignorance. WHO would want to take on raccoons?
I’ll tell you what our vet told us: “domestic dogs and cats rarely survive raccoon encounters”. You have smart animals, raccoons are not to be messes with.
It’s not their fault!! Those are ninja raccoons!!!
they are just adorable! I love your books ilona, I have been trying to get magic triumph audiobook since long time and its unfortunately not available in my region but I have read it. Awesome work. Today is my birthday and I wish for nothing but just to read new KD books. Love your work. Just awesome.
Is it just me…or do these guys look like what’s left of the Iron Dogs at the beginning of Iron and Magic?
Cheeky trash pandas! And lazy house protectors. My goodness. GRIN. At least they only took the watermelon and left the rest of your groceries unmolested.
But they are so cute & they love you!
Watermelon for all!
I think you need to use a hidden mic cuz it sure sounds like there some type of kickback or bribing going on. Which one of them will flip on the others?
If you don’t stop this now, well hell, maybe it’s covering for stealing your car?
Separately, I’m going to look at a young grey girl (long hair) whose pictures at the Corvallis humane society look so precious. Hope we click cuz they indicate she’s shy…
They may be lazy, but at least they are CUTE.
Emerald Blaze was great fun, BTW.
That’s a very motley looking crew.
Shame them with the bell 🔔 like in games of thrones!!! Smh!!!
I love the face on the cat in middle of the cat photos. So expressive. What a waste of watermelon and during such hot weather. I recently had a refreshing watermelon gazpacho soup, it was so good.
But they are so cute! Thank you for lightening my day!
Maybe when I stop laughing I will be better able to condole with you.
The wall of shame is full of such cute faces. How could you possibly hold it against those cutie pies?! I’m sure they felt that barking or meowing about raccoon bandits exceeded their scope of responsibilities! UPS deliveries or mailmen (or skunks) on the other hand… They pose true danger. They only bark/meow to protect you! Also, I love how the cats have such bitter expressions on their faces. Like how dare you require anything of them…
This is utterly hilarious!
I am sorry … I know you lost your watermelon to the racoon thieves … but this made me laugh! 🙂
Thank you for making my morning I laughed like a loon on my break. But where is Arfa? Is she ok or just living with her mom your daughter?
Coons love watermelon. Maybe if it had been meat, the guards would have objected.
Oh so funny! There isn’t a look of shame on any dog or cat on that shame wall.
Having a stressful day at work and opened this email. Thank you for lifting my
spirits. Love the wall of shame.
Speaking of beasts that need shaming, I need to add my two cats. I gave them fearsome names: Kate Daniels and Vlad Tepesh in honour of you guys and Jeanine Frost. However, they couldn’t be more different than their namesakes. They are both afraid of EVERYTHING, including bugs! BUGS, I tell you. They jump on my bed to escape them. It’s ridiculous and from now on whenever they do that I’ll be chanting: SHAME! SHAME! SHAME! *with bells ringing*
Sadly, they are indeed shameless. Just look at their innocent faces:
How about this guy/gal? He was caught eating chicken eggs instead of watermelon. We have volunteered to have him released on vacant land that we own because we think he is go neat looking.
Whoa! So pretty!!
I love this. Made my day. Thanks for sharing.
Those cats don’t look very repentant…
Uh oh.
READER SHAMING, Nalini Singh today, I my feed just after dog shaming..
Sigh. No photo showed. Sorry. No option to delete. Double sigh.
Oh my! They fell down on the job shame
… ha ha
I just had to come to the blog to see pictures of your furry friends(FF). I’m sure you already know very well how vicious midnight bandits are…. They could drop almost all of your FF with bites, scratches and kicks. And they know how to fight together. You are lucky they (FF) are so smart and unlucky that the driver didn’t send that note immediately (not knowing your racoon situation). Best regards and better luck upcoming
I suspect our critters would ignore such a thing, too.
This made my day! I laughed out loud when I compared the remorseful expressions of your dogs, who obviously felt the shame of their inaction, to that of you cats, who decidedly couldn’t give an eff. This. Is. My. Life. Lmao.
ROTFLMAO. So, so funny! And, now I’m craving watermelon!
I don’t think the shaming worked. Even the dogs don’t seem to get it.
Bad dogs. Lazy cats (Finger shaking)
I think they all are trying to look innocent except for last Kitty. Seems to be telling you what you can do with the camera.
I need this laughter! Thank you.
Oops! I guess they thought there food was safe so no food no foul! Otherwise they would have been all over it!!
I need to know your secret— how your floors are so clean with the pets?
I have tumbleweeds of fur, mocking me after I sweep, as I helpessly watch them flit across the “clean” floor.
This made me laugh so much and I needed it! Thank you!
I have one dog.One.And apparently now is this time of the year when its shedding is on max. After a minute of petting (maybe less) there was a mound of hair on the floor.So I am wondering how is it with 4 dogs and 3 cats? I can`t imagine.No,wait.I can.
🤣🤣🤣
Clearly the guard animals need better training, shorter work hours, more pay and holiday and vacation time, or you can vote the lot of them out of their jobs and install beasts from post shift Atlanta. Your call of course. I have attached a picture of a likely candidate. resume to follow if you are interested.
I love how annoyed the cats look at being added to the wall of shame. Expect some hairballs on the carpet in your immediate future. Cats always get the last laugh!
Likely a downwind approach executed with good noise discipline. Window of opportunity likely just before moonrise. A nearly perfect raid (the one rind left behind is a tad sloppy). Artha’s ears might’ve detected the raiders despite their stealth capabilities, but without a dedicated picket, the rest of the (adorable) crew might’ve been hard pressed to pick them up.
Sorry about the watermelon! Glad the meat made it through!
Haha oh man that gave me a good laugh. You can see the guilt in the dogs’ eyes but the cats really dgaf.
Shamming was never so adorable. I wonder if this means they see those raccoons as part of the family group now?
Such a lovely menagerie! Sorry you missed out on the watermelon, but you certainly gave me the best smile of my day. 😁
Raccoons like grapes too, just so you can order them some for next time!
They are looking a wee bit too innocent. You may have stumbled on to a conspiracy. You should question your neighbors to make sure there isn’t a watermelon stealing gang operating in the area. Raccoons trading watermelon for trash can tipping so the co-conspirators can feast. We all know that nothing taste better to cats and dogs than days old garbage can food.
( yes, I do need a life)
I hope that your next order is un- pillaged.
Oh my gosh, I just burst out laughing, and I am still tickled!! Hilarious! The wall of shame! Ahaha haha haha, I love it!! The cats look so unbothered, the dogs look like oh, picture time! Still giggling…
Good luck with shaming cats! You have to work with what you’ve got, though, and raccoons have no shame. I came home one night to see a raccoon on top of my garbage can, struggling mightily to remove the bungee cord I had put in place specifically to foil its garbage-loving ways. It looked up, stared right at me for two seconds, then continued its evil work. No fear. No shame. The pair got to the point where they would wander next door – during the daytime – to raid the dog food bowl.
And, damn, they’re all pretty relaxed about it too!!!
OMG, how innocent the dogs look! And how, “It isn’t my fault!”, the cats look! Lol
Oh my gods, I needed that. I don’t think I’ve laughed out loud all week. Thank you!
That made me giggle… not much does these days. So thank you.
Also, thank you for Emerald Blaze, I was so sad it was done. Because I had to leave the world you built.
OMG! This is soooo funny! Too bad all 7 pets don’t understand the public shame and learn. 🙂
Oh my bad mood mood goodbye! I love that story! 😂😂
It’s because they’ll only exert themselves when it’s a skunk they can corner. I had 3 dogs and 3 cats and this is exactly how they would behave. They all got skunked twice in 3 weeks, at 3 am, but protect the groceries or deliveries? No way!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Denial! That is so typical 🙂 I forget the feline culprits’ names. Would House IA please oblige?
😂 ur doggies look either puzzled or vaguely guilty even if they have no idea why while the kitties are just giving you the “…and your problem is?” raised brow of inquiry 😅😅😅
Obviously, they don’t care for watermelon and felt it wasn’t a loss if the trash Panda’s got it. Now if it would have been the meat? That might have been a different story.
And your Wall of Shame is an Exhibit of Adorableness so I don’t think it worked quite the way you may have wanted it to.
Well, you can’t blame them. Raccoons are renowned in some circles for being deadeye shots spitting watermelon seeds.*
*not really.
😂🤣😂
I have had a really awful last couple of days and this was such a nice break from it. Thank you for sharing this with us and giving us peaks into your lives.
ROTFLMAO! Thanks for the fun start to my day! 😀
Sitting on the couch with Bombur the cat in my lap, a chipmunk swarmed up next to me. Bombur the cat: Yeah. Me: EEEEEEEE. She had no shame.
No Wall of Shame there! Just the Wall of Adorable Friends
Too cute to punish.
Consider this post upvoted, +1. Thanks for the laugh
I shared this post with a couple of friends, and I absolutely have to share back one response. I hope you find it as funny as I did:
“Sure, just drop the food outside in my raccoon-infested neighborhood.”
After the inevitable happens:
“Stupid pets – this is all THEIR fault! Shame!”
Don’t get grapes either, raccoons LOVE grapes.
Well to be fair, you do have a one eyed dog, I would give that one a pass.
Cats don’t care unless there are treats involved, and you didn’t tell the raccoons that the watermelon was yours. Anything on the steps is fair game.
My skunks, opossum, and raccoons are all in competition with each other for what ever tidbits that they can find under the bird feeders. Sometimes the skunks come look around in the early evening around suppertime. If I am grilling, I think that they think that I will drop a tasty morsel if they come visit early enough.
love your pets
Ha! As if cats could be shamed.
EXACTLY
OMG. I needed this laugh. I needed this very badly.
I am over here in tears laughing at the wall of shame. Boots to .
Oh my word. Forgive the lazy beasts for not guarding the watermelon, they are so unbelievably cute. Lol.
In their defense, raccoons are mean and wily. They were just saving themselves.
The raccoons are either very stealthy or they bribed all your guards in advance.😂
I adored this post more than I could possibly say.
It’s a good looking wall of shame. 🙂
They must be southern raccoons as they went for your watermelon .
At least they left the meat alone.
From what I’ve heard They’re vicious fighters and cats will usually avoid them.
OMG! Cutest degenerates ever! I bet they get away with everything.