Background: AC in Kid 2’s house had to be replaced.
The unit was installed on on 05/26. The bill was paid in full. The unit stopped working on 06/12. The installation sent the technician out who said he fixed things. On 06/13, the kids woke up to water raining from the vent under the AC. Paint peeled off the ceiling around the vent and there was a substantial amount of water dripping onto the floor.
We had to call an emergency AC repair technician because the install company was closed. The emergency technician found some issues and concluded that the drip pan was cracked.
We sent a strongly worded email with the emergency guy’s repair estimate attached and followed up with a phone call. The company, which up to that point provided excellent service, has made things right now. They fixed the AC and will take care of the water damage, and we’re satisfied with the resolution, but at the time of the events below we didn’t know what exactly went wrong or what they would do about it.
Me, texting Kid 2: the original company is sending a tech out.
Kid 2: I will be here. Oh I found someone to do the lawn.
Me: It’s a small lawn…
Kid 2: Okay so I was driving through the neighborhood and found these little boys who are going around mowing lawns for $20. I saw them mowing and I pulled over real fast and I asked them if they mowed lawns and the 12 year old in charge with the phone said, “Yes, ma’am, we mow all of the lawns around here.”
So I said, “I will give you $40 dollars to do my lawn.”
And he said, “Deal.”
So I called D (BF) and I said, “There are some kids without shirts and smeared with dirt like Dickensian orphans coming to the door. Let them in the back yard, so they can mow the lawn. I paid them.”
So then I get home. It’s hilarious because one of those boys is, like, the leader of this lawn mowing club. He doesn’t actually mow, he handles the phone and collects the money. He looked at the lawn and said, “I need to make some calls.”
He made calls and two more kids showed up, so now I have 4 shirtless 12 year olds mowing the lawn and yelling at each other, so I went upstairs.
A couple of hours later the original company that did the AC install sent the tech over. They have the estimate from the emergency AC dude that we forwarded to them.
Kid 2, facetime: Mom, the AC tech is asking me why the unit is leaking.
Me: Bring the phone to him.
Juan: This is Juan.
Me: Hi Juan. This is Ilona. We have the estimate from the other tech who said it was a cracked pan.
Juan: Yes, but did he do any repairs?
Me: No. He diagnosed the issue.
Juan: Yes, I understand that. I don’t think the pan is cracked.
Me: Okay, if the pan isn’t cracked, then we need you to figure out what went wrong.
Juan: So you don’t know why the unit was leaking?
Me: Juan, I am not an AC technician. I don’t know why it’s leaking. That’s why we asked you guys to come out. Please figure out why it’s leaking and make it not leak anymore.
Kid 2: Mom, I have delivery guy calling, hang on.
I hang up and text her a couple of minutes later.
Me: I’m sorry about this AC disaster.
Kid 2: I don’t mind the disaster. It’s not anyone’s fault. I’m just like in an awkward position because this man is talking to me like I’m an AC technician. I don’t know what’s going on. I’m just trying to avoid being hot.
He’s like telling me about the screws and stuff, and I’m like, “I don’t know. All I know is what the other person told me.”
Every time we have people come over to do something to the house, this happens. It doesn’t matter what the service is. They make it hard for no reason. Like the delivery person just called me, and was like “I need you to tell me if your street is the one with the stop sign” and I’m like “Well, the street has stop signs on both sides because it crosses another road in an intersection, so I don’t know how to help you navigate this besides giving you the address.”
This is a furniture delivery person, mind you.
And he’s like calling me and making me explain how a four way stop works. Like, dude, the street is REDACTED, and there is an intersection, so on one side there is a stop sign and on the other side there is also a stop sign.
It’s like the security guy who was installing the alarm system asking me why none of the emails he sent are reaching my inbox. Like sir, I do not know why your emails are not going through. I am not an all knowing god who has the answer to all your questions. I am literally a customer. And then, whenever this stuff happens, the people get mad at me for not knowing the answers to their questions.
The best service I have received throughout the moving process has been geek squad and the fucking lawn orphans.
The lawn orphans took my money, did their job, and then left.
They didn’t ask me how to start a lawn mower.
I love the lawn orphans! I predict they’ll go far in life with their work ethic 🙂
Nancy Fries says
I predict they will appear in some future snippet and/or book-to-be!!!
Colleen C. says
Lawn orphans, yes please!
I also have this hunch 🤣
Cris Reads says
I agree ❣️
Rachael G says
Lawn Orphans for the win! Kid 2, please give permission to our Author Overlords to use lawn orphans in future fiction. Breaking News: Roving gangs of Lawn Orphans trolling the countryside and beautifying the towns upon which they descend. Clearly, I’m no writer…
Lawn orphans and their ring master/admin general sound like they are going to take over the world with a few more yrs under their belts
I wish we could have some lawn orphans come to do our yard (and someone to do light cleaning), but we are out in the country and lucky when we can get a carpenter or plumber to visit. From town, it’s only a 15-minute ferry ride each way, but you’d think we’re asking them to drive 45-minutes.
I hope the ac problem will get fixed soon. When I was a kid we could survive in Yokohama without an AC if you had a fan. But now no way you can live with the temperature and high humidity during the summer here. .. global warming sucks!
I’m sorry, I can’t stop laughing. It’s not your woes, but how you relate them. Thank you for sharing, and may the “God” or whoever, opens the universal wisdom, and shares it with all of us.
Actually, this is pretty much verbatim from Kid 2. 🙂 I had very little editing to do.
Diana Schnetzka says
Apparently Kid 2 has her parents’ way with words.
And I also need some fucking lawn orphans. 😆😂🤣
+1 I hope the lawn orphans make an appearance in a book. 😂
I was JUST thinking this!!!
If kid 2 Ever wants to write, I know a book devouring horde ready to throw money at her
I couldn’t stop laughing either. At my age, we’ve dealt with myriad repairmen and this exchange encapsulates the experience perfectly. And apparently, the fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree in terms of humor.
Lawn Orphans – love it and so sorry Kid 2 (and House Andrews) has had the Move of Nightmares
I wonder what percentage Head Lawn Orphan takes for the “business” after all he has to answer the phone and negotiate the fees….
Mechanics hate me, Why? My dad was a self-employed garage/gas station owner with 24/hr towing service. Do not try to hose me on parts & labor! LOL
Mechanic: Well little lady you need a new starter & alternator
Me: Nope, I need a new battery
Mechanic: Now see here, I’m certified technician
Me: You look here mister; I got the SUV jump started and drove 10 miles while driving between 35 – 45 MPH. If it was my starter, the vehicle would never have turned over the engine; if it was the alternator my SUV would have been DOA on the roadside due to running the radio, daylights and dashboard. Replace the battery only.
Me: :stares daggers of superiority at mechanic:
Mechanic: I’ll replace the battery…
Haha! I’m a farmer’s daughter from the pre-cellphone era, and I had almost that exact same exchange with a mechanic when I lived in Texas. He was so flabbergasted that a woman knew what an alternator did. 😂😂
Heh. All you need to do to know that is have one die on you and leave you by the side of the road. After that you know it when it happens, to you or to your adult child or friend from church or whatever, not that any person of the male persuasion will listen.
My dad taught me car mechanics before I was 12 we replaced the engine in my first car. Do not screw with me at the garage
Deborah Armstrong says
Years ago now…I took my car in to Jiffy-Lube for an oil change…19.95
“Ma’am, your air filter is looking really bad.”
“Ma’am? Did you know you have a headlight out?”
Yes i know.
“Ma’am, your car is ready….that’ll be $92.95.”
Me acknowledging that I know my headlight is out, does not constitute permission for your guy to change the 62 dollar light bulb.
There was much sharp wordage out in the garage, and i drove away with a free light bulb.
Oh my goodness…I could really use all of you this week. My car’s leaking oil AGAIN and my mechanic can’t even give me a straight answer on if it’s a fire hazard or not.
Patricia Schlorke says
It can be if it gets into areas of the engine it shouldn’t be in. Plus leaking oil smells bad when burned. It sounds like either the combustion chamber’s seal needs to be replaced, or your oil pan needs to be looked at for cracks. Both can cause oil to leak.
I suggest upholstering a section of a wall somewhere so you have a soft place to go bang your head on. Honestly, what the hell happened to competency or more importantly the ability to actually think. Evidently the emergency company tech should have left a arrow pointing out where the hole or crack is located.
The emergency tech actually recommended $4,000 in repairs that are not needed. 🙂 We trust our AC guys. They have been good to us so far.
$4000 repair on a brand new installation. I don’t think so. If nothing else it’s sure as h… under warranty! Please write down that company as someone to never call again. Their tech was dishonest in my opinion.
Moderator R says
The emergency tech was not from the install AC company 🙂
Yes, I understood that.
But they sent out Juan?
I got a promotion a few years ago up in the Upper Midwest and I listed my home with a property management company. I want to move back into it in a few years after saving some $ for retirement with the heavy overtime job I took. The guy my property management company sent out to check the AC recommended an entirely new unit. After he had been out the day before and charged me almost $400 for putting freon in it. I refused and called the company that I used when I was living in the house. They went up in the attic and hum, how odd, the AC doesn’t work because someone came up here and unplugged it….
“I’m just trying to avoid being hot” hahahaha
“Lawn orphans”. That was amazing. Those dudes will go far being that industrious at 12.
Every time something goes wrong, something else has to come along and complicate the crap out of it. (I need a face palm emoji)
Here you go! 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏿♀️🤦♀️🤦🏼🤦🏻🤦🏽🤦🏾🤦🏿🤦🤦🏻♂️🤦🏼♂️🤦🏽♂️🤦🏾♂️🤦🏿♂️🤦♂️
(I put them all since I wasn’t sure which you would prefer.) 😊
Oh my gosh u are a sweetheart xo
I mostly read the comments to smile alot after laughing at the posts
Man I love the BDH alot of you guys make a great start to the day!!
Ps thanks for moderating out the crap I know it’s probably alot of work .. but it helps me to breath better everyday knowing that there is still a circle of decent people focussing on the good !!!
“I need to make some calls.” The lawn orphans’ leader is making my day. He has kids on speed dial for lawn emergencies?
These kids are more organized than all those companies.
Boy is that the truth!
I was in wondering about the phone call as well
“Davie, we need your cousin’s string-trimmer and a six-pack of Orange Crush–STAT!”
How does one get this level of bad luck to cease? Bath in the pee of a two headed lama while screaming the lyrics to Bon Jovi’s Livin’ on a Prayer?
This helps me: Universe exists in the balance. If there are peaks, there will be valleys. So having a run of bad luck makes me hopeful, because I’m paying for something good in the future. 🙂
Elizabeth Wade says
Ok I am totally stealing that line of logic for myself. karmic balance and paying for good things in the future . Love it
I will not kibosh your happy dreams by droning on about memory-less functions. Statistics classes ruin everything happy in life.
Patricia Schlorke says
Nah they don’t ruin everything happy in life, they make you understand how screwed up everything is.
How do I know? I’m a statistician. 😁🤓
Friend of mine used to say “I don’t know what I did to deserve this but I sure hope I enjoyed it!”
That is very zen. It brings to mind this meme I like – Be thankful for miracles not yet arrived.” 🙂
Katrina Collins says
I find great comfort in this:
“You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn’t it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe.
Marcus Cole, Babylon 5”
I just never imagined that I was immune to bad things happening. They’re going to happen. So are good things. You just go with the flow and do whatever it takes to deal until some good stuff comes along. Then you enjoy the heck out of while it lasts. I try to build a little good stuff into every day, because who knows what else it will bring?
In that case, I am due to win the lottery.
Oh I love this 🙂 🙂 :). I’m currently in the bad luck trenches too. And I am at the point where if someone told me the bath would work, I’d be sourcing lama pee right now. Your way is better. For everyone. 😀 😀 😀
I always think about some of the worst things that have happened to me (family getting sick or dying, being broke and jobless, running out of coffee on a Monday morning etc.) and how I got through it and was ok at the end of it.
It makes me realize that I am more resilient that I believe and that all “bad luck” ends at some point, even if it is crappy right now.
Hustling lawn orphans 😀 I really want them to be called the REDACTED Street Irregulars or something, but wrong author.
The plumbers came yesterday to replace a faucet. I didn’t use the faucet for a couple of hours, as instructed, so the caulk could dry. Today the faucet wiggles alarmingly :/
Head Lawn Orphan will go far.
I just went through that!
Garage slab redo (I am in the building industry):
Me: I know there was a soft spot because they had to come in with flowable fill. Please make sure you compact well there.
Contractor: Was there water?
Me: I don’t know, I moved in 3 years ago. We put up a gutter. I just know there was a soft spot because they filled it.
Contractor: So there was water?
One thing being in my field does is make you really confident in your ability to not know something.
“One thing being in my field does is make you really confident in your ability to not know something.”
I love this so much!
Leigh Ann Parente says
I wish I had lawn orphans.
Kim DeBois says
Big smile. I loved it.
Patricia Schlorke says
I love the lawn orphans. Get the job, do the job, and leave. No need to ask how to start the lawn mower.
It’s frustrating when you call about something and the person that come out, and expect you to know everything that’s wrong with what you called about.
When I bought my Escape, I asked to see the engine and looked underneath the car to see if the tires were in line with the frame. The sales person looked at me really weird. I explained to her that if the tires were not in line with the frame the car has a higher chance of rollovers. I look at the engine to see where everything is located. Usually the configuration in Ford engines are the same, but there could be some changes.
It gets really interesting when I tell the mechanics at the Service Center what I need done with the car. I get a lot of eyebrows go up since I can get extremely specific. 😁
Oh gods the lawn orphans, I cackled. I NEED more of them. They should get a cameo somewhere.
Here is hoping the helter shelter eases and you can hide from the incoming heatwave
Lawn orphans: there’s hope for the world yet..
Wow, sorry for the ac debacle! Especially since it’s so damned hot. A working ac is a necessity of life! This house has sure been work! Hang in there!!
I had something similar happen with my new garage door opener. I bought one on sale and arranged for a tech to come install it. I specified in the email that I had a new opener and I wanted installation. He shows up and I go into the garage to open the door manually. He asks me to hit the button and I look at him and say it doesn’t work. But hit it anyway. The thing makes grinding noises but that’s it. He says I can repair that. I say, pointing at the new box on the floor, I want the new one please. He asks, so you want me to install it? Wow. He installs it and then tells me the reason the other one didn’t work is because it was installed wrong. I literally had 3 different companies come out over the years to find out why I kept getting error messages on the panel and none could find anything wrong. They sure didn’t notice it was “installed wrong”. What a joke.
Nicole Desson says
“lawn orphans” just made my entire day. 🤣
Listen my son was a lawn orphan and still misses those days of untaxed money. 🤣🤣
I work as a customer service rep and sometimes, people ask me questions to which I answer. Then they procede to tell me I am wrong and what the answer should be.
Sorry its off to a rough start in the house. Hope things get better.
He still cuts mine. But I pay in food and free board. He is going to school in July and I will have to find someone else in the neighborhood.
OMG. That’s all.
I was ROTFL at the Dickensian lawn orphans. I can’t find anyone in summer, but in the winter whenever we get any snow, enterprising young men with shovels will come wandering up the block. Very helpful.
Someone elsewhere likened them to the Baker Street Irregulars of Sherlock Holmes’ fame.
Love the Lawn Orphans. They just need to break out in song, and then you have a show.
It’s a hard knock life…
Charles A Downs says
I feel your pain, but have never been able to express it so eloquently. Glad your yard is resolved. Hope the AC will no longer keep you from writing. (Yeah, I’m selfishly awaiting the next books in several of your words. Don’t know if I can apologize. 🙂 )
Lawn orphans lol 😝
Oh my goodness. I am laughing so hard I am crying. I read it to my husband and he is crying 😅!
cindy Pace-Loegering says
Your posts are funny, witty and easy to empathize with daily trials. Keep’em coming.
But did Kid 2 get the contact details of the Lawn Orphans for next time they’re needed? Or are they now going to just put her on their list?
Sounds like an infuriating day! Hope Kid 2 saw the humour in it!
She was very zen about it. She had her moving freak out moment several days ago. 🙂
Lara S. says
And this is why people need other people. So we can take turns being the calm one when the other person is being the freaking out one and vice versa.
I thought that is why people needed gin….. Oh, that might just be me and helping a kid with 5th grade math!
Lmao…. I want lawn orphans!!!! Just replaced our fridge, that broke on a Friday (of course) soonest delivery was monday… the cold didn’t last, lost all the food…. it was an expensive weekend. Not quite as bad as last summer though…. when we lost our furnace/hvac and water heater all the same week. We have now replaced EVERY appliance in our home, both major and minor, and I’m hoping (knock on wood) that we get a break! For a little while at least.
Ages ago when we lived in Louisiana and a hurricane came through, the entire neighborhood lost power for about 2 weeks. We all knew the fridge and freezer food wouldn’t last. Every evening, we all got together and cooked whatever had thawed first. After several days, that was all gone (thankfully – no smelly fridges!), and we continued to get together with whatever we had bought to cook for the day. When one side of the street got their power back before the other side of the street, you had to be very careful driving through because of all the orange extension cords running across to the houses without power. At least that way we got the fridges back working, even though no A/C. Sometimes, disasters do bring the best out in people!
Deborah Armstrong says
Don’t say ‘break’…..there are many pieces of wood, tile, and drywall….all looking for inspiration!
We renovated our kitchen 18 years ago, ergo all the appliances are 18 years old. They are all now make funny sounds at different intervals, and I know they are all going to go out at the same time. I am mentally pleading with them to last another year or two! I’ll add your appliances to my list :-).
LIN Bitner says
Lawn orphans….love it. I can picture them in my head.
Mary Carter says
The Peter Principle is an observation that the tendency in most organizational hierarchies, such as that of a corporation, is for every employee to rise in the hierarchy through promotion until they reach a level of respective incompetence.
I’m going to remember this one. lol
I’m fully expecting those fucking lawn orphans to show up in some book down the line. They’re too perfect to not be immortalized in fiction!
Dawn Emerson says
I get you completely. I manage homeowners associations, and my job mostly consists of hiring professionals to do work and explaining to Board members why I am not an expert in all technical aspects of mechanical function and construction details
The answer to missing emails is always Internet Gremlins. Always.
Actually, the answer to missing e-mails is the inability of the person sending on to type in the correct address. Machines work as programmed; people don’t get programmed correctly.
Sometimes they are sent correctly, but get stuck in Spam or Junk filters. 😊
Lisa M says
Also, some people don’t know their own email address. Or can’t enunciate it clearly enough. Or both. At least once a week, someone gives me an bad email address, and then calls complaining they didn’t get a quote.
Amy J says
This is so relatable. I honestly feel this way every time we have to call someone about an issue.
“Lawn orphans” 😁😁😁
Oh my god. The last two lines… 😂
To be fair, incompetence can also be found on the customer side. A typical scenario: customer orders a list of computer parts and software licenses and complains that his systems do not work later on; however he never told us what he wanted to do with the stuff … (We try to teach our salesmen not to just deliver such orders, but sometimes greed wins.)
It is the job of the customer to know what is the goal to be accomplished and communicate it clearly and the job of the specialist to know how to get there.
“Being not hot” is an awesome goal definition!
This reminds me of a David Mitchell (English comedian) rant on a programme called QI about sign writers and apostrophes. I am sure you can find it on You Tube.
I adore the term lawn orphans.
I need neighborhood Lawn Orphans.
So, I take it you are likely to hire the lawn orphans again for mowing 😻
Bigmama Battillo says
Will your lawn guys come to Florida?
My parents decided to take advantage of the green energy subsidies ~10-15 years ago and got solar panels attached to the roof. In addition to having to constantly have technicians coming in to replace pieces, we eventually found out that the installation left a leaky hole in the roof.
The ceiling in the bedroom below started collapsing at some point. It might have been a pretty long time before we noticed because it was being used as a guest room so nobody went into it.
Jacqui McDonald says
Lawn orphan leader reminds me of Tom Sawyer. I expect he’ll make his first million before age 25. Loved the post.
The lawn orphans are marvelous and need to appear somewhere. Modern Baker Street Irregulars. Sorry about the house mess. No AC in the summer is brutal so, happy it’s happy now.
Are we making bets if lawn orphans show up in a book soon? Because that is hilarious.
So… tell me again how to start the lawn mower?
NVM, got tired of pulling the cord, and bought an electric one.
Push button, pull handle back, keep feet from underneath, mow lawn… but just for the part my lawn orphan doesn’t do.
When I lived in Boston and Northern Maryland, we had snow shoveling orphans. I cannot praise voluntary child labor highly enough.
Also, I read the last bit to my husband and he laughed to disturb the cats.
I had them too! Miss them so much.
Lizz D. says
Dude. That kid is going to run the world someday. (The lawn orphan ring leader)
Sorry about all the issues. That sounds like my convo with SiriusXM yesterday about a bill I was having issues with. (I pay the bills for 14 doctor’s offices that I support)
Me: We’re tax exempt. So, you turned off our service because we didn’t pay taxes.
Sirius XM: well, your state doesn’t say that (note, it’s someone in a foreign country). Your state has to tell us that you’re tax exempt.
Me: I have our tax exempt paperwork, I’m happy to send it to you so you can file it and take off our taxes.
Them: our system automatically generates the taxes unless your state says you’re tax exempt. They’ve not told us that you’re tax exempt, so our system charged you taxes.
Me: then do you need our tax exempt # so that you can verify with the state that we’re tax exempt?
Them: please hold (note, this is the FOURTH hold I’ve been put on in that short conversation).
Them: Okay, I’m going to do a one-time adjustment to your bill for the amount of your taxes, and turn your service back on. (This is now 45 minutes of being on the phone, so, I took the deal)
Since we paid for a whole year, I’ll get to deal with this again next April. (They’ve been apparently dying to tell me about the taxes for two months) *rolls eyes*
Dianne T Richman says
I feel your pain, it seems more people are having similar stories about repairs just like you. But a sense of humor does help and keeps you from pulling your hair out.
I wish I had lawn orphans here. My lawn “service” is not good, mostly they fly over the little green patches which are my small yard and then walk around blowing anything not tied down with a Cat 5 power blower. They take about 11 minutes total. Hence this type of service is nicknamed “blow and go”. When asked to do anything extra they proceed to weed whack anything green including things not meant to be whacked to the ground, like my spring narcissus or clump of rain lilies. Lawn orphans would be an improvement.
Sounds like you have lawn executioners :O
Sounds like my aunt’s gardener who hates plants.
God bless the dickensian lawn orphans! May their business be successful. (They are certainly on to a good start for that.) And may these other businesses learn something from the orphans.
The lawn orphans are 12 so they can probably figure out any tech in 10 seconds. Should have asked them look at the AC with Juan 😀
Sara T says
Lawn orphans and Dickensian orphans!
ROFL. Love it!!
Even the disasters are written humorously!
Hope Kid2’s new home issues will get sorted out quickly.
ha haha ha ha – still laughing at Lawn orphans.
I’ve had similar issues with my Cable TV service. Three weeks later, problem still not resolved.
Don’t companies fully train their employees anymore?
Fully trained service people should be able to troubleshoot a decent majority of problems.
After all, if their customers could figure out what the problem is, they might decide a company’s services aren’t needed and fix it themselves.
My grandfather, from the Greatest Generation, used to work for the telephone company. I remember his frustration over service people’s obvious lack of care for their job and their poor troubleshooting ability.
He said when he and his coworkers worked, it was their honor to figure out and resolve service problems for their customers. If they couldn’t resolve the problem, they escalated issue and followed up promptly.
That was also during a time when companies did their best to retain experienced staff, and you could work your entire life for a company because they didn’t squelch salaries at a certain number to force “expensive” staff out.
Seriously, all those “expensive” employees should band together into one big ‘Troubleshooting’ company so they could be called to clean up their former employers failed staff.
Haha, a troubleshooting company! I would love that.
Sadly, bigger, faster, cheaper leads to worse quality. In service and in goods. I really wonder what the future holds for humanity.
And you only get to see a service person after numerous frustrating calls to some Indian call center! Some of whose employees – usually the female ones – who really try to be helpful but they only have approved scripts to work from.
I wish I could just love a post, like on FB or LinkedIn. Your family stuff just tickles me. I wish I could find such joy in MY family stuff 🙂
Thank you for sharing.
You can’t make that shit up!!
I need lawn orphans too but they need to have a tractor
Given the flipping heat of the Hill Country right now, as well as the recent email about ERCOT voluntary energy conservation, I hope Austin is cooler than we are, AND that your kids get to use the A/C without rolling brownouts or some such craziness. We are STILL waiting to have the repair work completed on the frozen pipes, compliments of snowcapolypse, and I just arranged for two “kids” in our neighborhood in TN to mow our yard for $50. I am not feeling hopeful about 2021.
I wonder if the orphans would travel to TN? They could double their prices and make a killing. I am willing to house them for mowing every ten days or so.
Thank you for the chuckle!!
Amy R says
Oh man. I suppose having them talk to you like you are all knowing is better than when they talk to you like you are a moron.
Anyone else picturing that head lawn orphan kid saying, “Don’t worry, I know a guy.”
Yes! He’ll probably have a AC guy on speed dial
Oh! This made me laugh! I feel your pain. It seems like this is how my life has been since the beginning of this year. I need some lawn orphans. They sound wonderful. 😍
Dixie McIlwraith says
Brilliant! I see there are real advantages to living in a foreign country where I do not speak the language. Having purple hair and looking helpless and well to do seems to bring out the best in service people. Or maybe they are just nicer here.
I can’t stop laughing… I know you’re all suffer/powering through these ordeals, and my heart goes out to you.
But I’ve been sitting in my computer working all morning trying to make sense of the output of a detailing program which should not need this much checking and then peek at your emails because in pretty sure I’ll read something to brighten up my day.
Truly, we are all in this (life/work/maintenance) together.
Thank you… Good luck 👍🏻
Lawn Orphans FTW! Brilliant.
Mary Cruickshank-Peed says
I’m interviewing cleaning people. I’m paying a good wage, but I have to admit that it’s a big project… But it’ll be a steady job for the summer and could lead to several other jobs and I’m WILLING TO PAY. It’s not like I’m paying minimum wage. I mean, I’m paying well enough you should be filing taxes on it.
And I’m getting questions like “you want me to run the vacuum?”
Tania Walker says
I’ve lived in rural Scotland for the last 16 yrs, in a very old farmhouse.
I’m so glad that in the previous years to that, I learned how to do electrics, cure rising damp and generally turn my hand to most diy jobs. Because the tradesmen round here are beyond useless. (And that includes my husband!)
I ❤ you guys!
I hope the ac gets sorted. It is hotter than Satan’s under-drawers outside.
Amanda H says
Lawn orphans! LMAO!
“The lawn orphans took my money, did their job, and then left.
They didn’t ask me how to start a lawn mower.”
This is life right there. Thanks for that gem!
I need some lawn orphans. I hate mowing the lawn. I hated it when I lived in a house with a flat yard. My yard is now on a hill, I love my lawn, I just don’t understand why we can’t all embrace the wild unkempt grass look so I don’t have to mow it.
There is a distinct lack of skilled, reliable lawn orphans in my neighborhood and I didn’t even know it until now.
Nancy OBrien says
Oh, man. This story made my day, although I’m feeling guilty for finding it so funny.
Maria Schneider says
Next time have the techs ask the little lawn dudes. THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY THE GODS.
It’s only funny because it didn’t happen to me…
lawn orphans lmao.
Craig Ehrlich says
I run a small custom home theater company in the Palm Beach County Florida. It both amuses and depresses me when we show up to a clients house and are like “your here… and on time!” or if we are going to be late and call to let them know and they are stunned that we called. SMH very few people seem to take pride in their work these days when it comes to contractors.
Angela Knight says
Oh, baby! I feel the kid’s pain. I hope it’s fixed, because Texas is HOT. And I’m not talking shirtless Curran hawt.
“The fucking law orphans” needs to the name of the squad.
I love the Lawn orphans!!! Awesome. Glad the AC got fixed
🤣🤣 Lawn orphans. That’s great
Roxanne Wynne says
I realize the new Baylor compound isn’t exactly in a neighborhood with feral kids, but the Baylors really need some lawn orphans.
I admire the zen of Kid2. We had been having issues with the heat pump and had called our service out to it several times. The “freezing up” was attributed to humidity, despite the weather being no different than any other year. The thermostat issue was attributed to a bad sensor and was replaced. This last time, we called the guys out because the compressor was making a noise like a gunshot when it kicked on, plus the new thermostat was doing the same thing the old one did. 2 techs looked the situation over, measured the freon level, and declared they didn’t see anything out of “spec.” About the time he said that, the compressor came on with a crack similar to the one my dad’s Mauser rifle makes. The dude almost had a coronary. All of a sudden, I needed a new compressor, which turned out to solve all the issues. They did agree to waive the fee on that day’s service call upon order of the new compressor. Gah.
The Lawn Orphans are a delight 😀
Can I just say, I really, really wish Kid 2 had taken a picture of the lawn orphans because they’re amazing!
It’s not a good idea to take pictures of other people’s children, even if they are mowing you lawn. 🙂
Welcome to adulthood. This is one of the reasons why adults have such fond memories of childhood.
Love the Lawn Orphans! I had an equivalent experience in Massachusetts with the Snow Gremlins. Like your situation, the shortest one had the phone and directed traffic. He had a lot of big guys with snow shovels working for him, one of which was his older brother. At the beginning of each season he showed up to make plans for the winter. I now live in New York and miss them and their excellent customer service.
I need weeding orphans
OMG YES! To weed the garden! 😁
yay Dickensian lawn orphans!
could this be a sign that universe is ready for y’all to explore the gritty realities of post-Shift lawn care? maybe at Roman’s house…
(yes, that was a thinly-disguised plea for a Roman standalone or series. i’m a fan.)
Kudos for raising a child who says “Dickensian orphans “. Love it. Enterprising 12 year olds.
You should add the lawn orphans in one of your books. I had a good laugh.
Cheryl M says
May a laugh a bit? I truly know how she feels. As one friend of mine has been known to say “Do I look like the Shell Answer Man to you?”
Bruce R says
I think I see your problem:
you need some 12-year-old A/C techs.
LOL, what an excellent idea.
Yup! 12 year old techs with googleand youtube on their phones would probably get it done.
Is wondering why the ‘Lawn orphans’ remind me of the street rats in Julie’s story? 🤣
Yep, that’s the exact picture that I got in my head too.
Wow. I would be asking a/c repair guy “Who is paying whom here?? You are the one who knows how to fix an A/C, so FIX IT.”
With a LOT more punctuation.
This sort of crap is why hubby and I do about 95% of our repair work ourselves. The only things we don’t do is if it’s a warranty repair, or if it’s too heavy for us to do ourselves – which ends up being very few items, because we both know how to use levers, dollies, and block and tackle. 😀
Oh good gravy. My husband says I seem to attract all the stupid people in every customer service interaction, though it’s possible I just bring out the stupid in otherwise normal people during said interactions – and now I see that I am not alone! Thank you, Ilona and Kid 2, for seeing me and making me feel understood.
Also, I’m going through lawn service ridiculousness this summer and wish I could find some lawn orphans to solve my problems.
Cindy M. says
I am 58 years old. For the longest time I thought I was losing my mind because things like this were happening to me as well. And it was so incredibly frustrating and I have a short fuse when I don’t feel well and the last few years have been challenging because I don’t feel well at all ever. So I was constantly berating people for being dumbshit’s. I know this is like not the correct way to behave and in my younger years I would not have. However when you are in excruciating chronic, uncontrolled, untreated pain it’s very difficult to keep your cool. No pun intended. Regardless no matter where I went I was faced with people that ask the most idiotic questions. And me being from New York and Sicilian and having a very quick with did me no favors whatsoever. Often times I made people around us laugh because the person that was on the receiving end of my quick wit was not happy and I had humiliated them. At other times I made everyone angry because they thought I was just being mean. I just don’t have a lot of patience for stupidity and it seems to really be abundant these days. You have now experience what I experience. I have literally become a Hermit because I don’t feel well and I just cannot deal with people anymore. I’m alone and I don’t have anyone to do these things for me so I have just literally retreated from life. And when I make the comment tongue-in-cheek that I feel like I’m just waiting around to die people get all butt hurt because they think I’m saying I want to kill myself. That is not what I’m saying at all. I’m saying that life is passing me by because I can no longer engage. I can no longer deal with the absolute sheer stupidity of people LOL. That shits going to kill me LOL!
Ah, Cindy, you are not alone. Not Sicilian here, but Italian all the same, and that temper stuff really gets going! I have a way to deal with it and I hope it may help you.
When this kind of crap happens, just stop. Close your eyes, stop your mouth, and picture something that pleases you. Chronic pain means not much pleases you, as I know well. But when I get upset with someone and say things that hurt people, I don’t like that, either. I, too, have zero tolerance for incompetence. When I’m on the phone with someone who has it, I stop, and say, “give me a minute here” and if I’m really too upset to deal with it, I just say, “I can’t deal with this because you apparently can’t understand what I’m saying and there’s no other way to say it, so I’m going to hang up now and call later and hope someone else answers next time.” Then I hang up.
Life is not passing you by. You are living it in pain. I lived in pain for two years until I finally got a diagnosis, and by some miracle, I lived through cancer treatment, despite there being no cure for what I have and the treatment that stopped it where it was almost killing me. I will be in treatment until the day I die, just trying to stretch out that time now, but the big part is that the pain is gone. Find some relief. It’s out there.
Kid2 is simply awesome.
Marie S says
Sorry about the AC nonsense. The technicians should take lessons from the lawn orphans. Loving the next generation of entrepreneurs.
:))))))))))))))))))))))))))) this made my day
I had an experience like this with a doctor. I broke my wrist earlier this year and had a lot of appointments.
When the specialist started explaining my condition, he used about 1 word in 10 that I understood and way too many acronyms.
I very politely, told him that I didn’t have clue what he was talking about and to please repeat himself in language I can understand and to not use acronyms. He did, I asked questions and thanked him.
The best part was watching his resident (learning to be a specialist) standing behind him. Her eyes went really wide and I bet she learned a valuable lesson.
Btw could you ask Kid2 if the lawn orphans will come to Canada and shovel snow?
Good for you! So many people don’t ask their doctors questions or admit they don’t understand something. They don’t even answer questions about how they’re doing honestly so they don’t get the proper care and can end up feeling worse! So many people don’t feel like they can talk to their doctor, or even their nurse, like a regular person and it really gets in the way. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve talked to a doctor about an issue one of my patients is having and the doctor’s reply is “well, they didn’t say anything to me”.
Steve lucas says
Gotta love lawn mowing orphans 🙂
Hahahaha @ the lawn orphans
That is just too awesome.
Lawn orphan : “I need to make some calls.”
I need some of those teary-eyed laughing emojis. Several of them, in fact.
Patricia Schlorke says
Here they are 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 or 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Your family posts make my day.
I really cannot imagine why or how an AC tech company could be closed on weekends in Texas. But at least it all got fixed and you didn’t pay for a new drip pan when that wasn’t the problem at all. Water in the walls is a big issue, and I hope nothing was damaged that wasn’t visible.
Until the lawn orphans grow up and move on to more lucrative employment, I hope they continue to work and mow. My guy grew up, got a “real” job, and I’m kind of dangling here. I wish him well, but I miss him.
The AC tech who asked you what the problem was strikes me as someone I would be leery of trusting to do what had to be done. I do hope he fixed it correctly.
The delivery guy with no GPS is a real puzzler. Perhaps if he had hinted at where he was when he called, directions would have been more possible. There are a lot of stop signs in Austin. Why he didn’t ask before he started out to make that delivery is a real mystery to me.
Moving is always a hassle. Buying is house is always a crap shoot until you find out all the tricks that didn’t show and need to be fixed before you can live there. I would hope that this is the end of all that.
But it was extremely fun to read this post and laugh about the trials and tribulations of it all instead of living it myself!
My favorite part was the politely offered parental advice/admonition that everyone, including, apparently, Kid2, ignored:
“It’s a small lawn –“
Lawn orphans, OMG you made my day!
I don’t even have a lawn (high-rise), but I want some lawn orphans. Those kids are going to take over the world.
Valerie in CA says
My brother and I were lawn orphans long ago. I was also the best babysitter within 5 miles of my home My father wouldn’t let me walk home at night farther than that, otherwise I could have been numero uno for my entire town.
The thing about repairs : I watch them do everything. I make them tell me all that is wrong and how they fixed it. I record the noise, issue at the onset and send them video of it. I live in an apartment and deal with maintenance people. Why do I do all of that, you ask? So they don’t bullshit me. The maintenance I have is different from your calling an expert, let me be clear. My maintenance guys are not qualified HVAC techs, for instance. So when they ask me “are your coils frozen?” And “when was the last time it was serviced, and what did they do”? I tell them. And also ask since the last fix didn’t work, what is your solution now? I recently went through two weeks of fighting the maintenance guys and my landlord to fix. I won, finally.
My friend says I am too involved. I say I do not like sleeping in a home that is 90 degrees inside. And if I had pets, no freaking way.
Good it is all taken care of at Kid 2’s home Be sure the lawn orphans don’t damage the sprinklers. However, They sound like they have it together, and are experienced.
Valerie in CA says
Oh and I have a friend in McKinney Texas. If the lawn orphans work there please let me know. He just fired his “professional landscaping company) for damaging multiple sprinklers (again this month, and every time they service) and killing his vegetation (do not ask).
William B says
Once upon a time I was an AC tech. If there’s water in the secondary drip pan on a brand new installed unit, than someone made a mistake.
In a way be glad because of these annoying make simple difficult moments is why we read your books. My mantra is “reality is over rated but keeps intruding”
Gaëlle from France says
Drama, irony, humour, sarcasm…. If kid 2 ever write a book, I’ll be first to read it !! 😂
Love the Lawn Orphans. I also like how he called and got more people on the job!
I do not like dealing with repair people especially when my husband asks me a million questions about any diagnosis and or decisions I make on repairs. Not that he thinks it’s wrong but more he wants to know every detail. Since the pandemic and working from home he gets to be in on any repairs. I am so happy about that 😆
Hahaha! Made my day. I worked in an admissions office and constantly had people ask me the same question multiple time and multiple ways hoping for the answer they wanted. Amazing.
My dad is like the opposite of those AC technicians. When there’s something he can’t fix himself, he’s all over the technician asking what’s up with it and how it works. They seem to like it okay because they get to talk about what they do. And then he’s like, “do you want to come fix this toilet with me? you should really know how to do it” and I’m like, “Dad, if I need to fix the toilet at some future date I will Google how. The year is 2021.” I love my dad.
Faith A LaBarbera says
I love the Dickensian Lawn Orphans!!!!
I hope you guys get a better and Mad Rogan-esque AC tech next time. You know– he just takes care of any problems in his vicinity.
“They didn’t ask me how to start a lawn mower.” Roflmao!!!
My husband calls it the age of no customer service. He’s getting ready to retire and he says he’s going to get a job teaching customer service reps how to hear! Lol!
DeAnna Dear says
Okay, yeah, the lawn orphans now have to make an appearance in a book. I don’t care which book or which series, they just have to be there.
Donna A says
Don’t forget when you’re female and call a carpenter to clearly explain your balcony door isn’t closing properly because the wood has warped from water damage from previous flooding and you think you need a new door or surround. But it’s definitely not the handle and lock because you already changed that yourself and you can see some mismatch in the door alignment.
Then the repairman shows up with. . . a new door handle.
And of course he proceeds to ignore your all too feminine repeat explanation, made in calm tones, of what you believe has happened as he still puts that new handle and lock on where the other new handle just was and is then perplexed when the door still doesn’t close properly.
And he then ignores your womanly voice saying you think it’s the frame or the door itself and instead calls a colleague to come over.
Who is equally confused, but in a comfortingly masculine way. And who then very smartly suggests putting the original handle back on the door for reasons incomprehensible to the little lady.
Then despite my kindly pointing out the exterior crack damage almost immediately beside the door that is yet to be repaired and yet another calm explanation of the extensive flooding from a few months prior both repairmen proceed to. . . put back the old (new) door handle. Which to their utter surprise still didn’t close right.
After looking carefully at the door and frame they finally concluded the wood had become distorted somehow and I actually needed a new door. And unfortunately because I had only told them it was lock issue they couldn’t do anything straightaway as they hadn’t got the necessary things and I’d have to wait a few days before they could return due to covid delaying everything.
It was a VERY long delay for them as I went elsewhere for my repairs.
I hope and pray the DLOs go far in life and that the educational system in this country doesn’t beat all of the ability to think out of them. Too much in this day and age is memorize what I say and if you can regurgitate it back, you pass. No teaching them to think for themselves. Another issue in this day and age is no-one wants to work! You call for a plumber, handyman, repairman, carpenter, whatever, and they are no shows; no call, nothing! Aarrgghhhh!
Sorry for the rant!
Okay, we need lawn orphans to be a thing. I think they could fit in nicely the KD universe, don’t you? 🙂
I am literally crying and laughing about your lawn orphans!
Oh my god. I am laughing so hard. Thankfully, the 12 year olds didn’t ask you why grass grows. And geeksquad are gods of their “geekieness”. By Thor’s mightly hammer, if they don’t know why something doesn’t work, they will seach and figure the answer out on their own. They will then share the anwer with you and might even include as 24-slide powerpoint presentation that details the issue.
Hope things get better soon. Maybe you need to pay off the house brownies.
Yes why is it that if I don’t understand him it’s my fault,and if he doesn’t understand me it’s still my fault. Why am I to blame….
jennifer sweet says
I am re reading a bunch of old favorites. Just want to thank you for providing so many hours of pure entertainment
Do the lawn orphans have family/network in Florida?
Lawn oprhans!! DWL!!! Thank you
Robin De Tota says
My grandniece works at the local ferry dock and keeps getting asked to hold the ferry that is leaving because the customers are late, she points to her T-shirt that reads Ticketgirl and asks them what does it read, she then smiles at them and shows them where to wait 😝
Lorrine Thompson says
OK, the efficient “lawn orphans” just made my day. My heart started laughing. Please thank Kid 2.
Omar Mtz says
did they call for more kids to save time and be more efficient?? lol I hope the boss kid slips those earnings evenly.
Heather Bennett says
Lawn orphans, OMG…. I spit tea out my nose laughing!!!!
Still laughing 😂 lawn orphans!
Judith C Stanton says
you just made my week! Thanks for all of the laughs
CD Lewis says
Christine Lewandowski says
I can’t stop laughing.
This is so my life right now.
I understand completely.
Doherty, Sandra says
Every once in a while I will get a call from the pizza delivery dude “there is no house with your number on Ross St*” I will reply ” that’s because you are on Lowe St*, not Ross St. One more St east should get you here” Dude either answers “Oops!” and pops over to us OR “No I’m not! I’m on Ross!!!” The last dude to do that had the grace to look very chagrined while handing over the pizza. If one is short sighted and refuses to wear glasses or contacts so one 4 letter street name looks exactly like an other 4 letter street name one should not be a pizza delivery dude.**
*1st letters changed ** I personally know 4 people who think being able to read the letters on street signs is optional when driving
in my head, the Lawn Orphans are singing:
Consider your lawn well-mowed!
Consider your lawn part of our family.
Your 40 bucks was great.
It’s clear we’re going to get along …
to the score from Oliver.
Maybe Kid 2 should be a librarian. We are often asked to supply the answers to random questions. Apparently we know everything.
Yes, you do. Thank you Librarians.
Lawn orphans!!! Lol
Also I agree. I don’t know why the satellite/internet/whatever is not working … that’s why I called you to fix it!
When I moved into my current place I noticed that the coax coming into the house was frayed and unusable. Called the ISP and asked them to send out a tech. ISP told the techs that I just needed my service hooked up.
Techs came out and started to hook up a shiny new modem/router combo. I said, “No, I’ve got my own modem and I know how to hook it up. You’re here because the coax needs to be crimped and re-terminated and I don’t have the tools for that.
Tech: “I got it, I got it. I’m just letting you know that this new modem/router isn’t compatible…”
Me (holding up personal modem and router): I don’t need your equipment. I have my own. I need you to fix that cable.
Tech: “I got it, I got it. I’m just letting you know that this new modem/router isn’t compatible…”
(Wash, rinse, repeat 2x more with me getting more and more technical and him repeating himself)
Tech: I’m here to hook up your internet. If you don’t need your internet hooked up, then we will leave.
I lost it. I was under so much stress at the time and I let ‘er rip.
Me: ‘You got it, you got it, you got it but you’re not listening and I don’t have time for this. Is that your supervisor in truck? I need to talk to him. [marches out to truck]. You the boss? I need you to come inside because you tech isn’t listening to a **** word I’m saying.
Marched the supervisor inside, showed him my modem, my router, and then pointed to the cable and said, “6 inches from the wall that cable is frayed. It needs to be re-terminated. I’m an experienced level 2 & 3 network technician but I don’t have the tools to fix a layer one coax problem. That is why you are here. Fix. It.”
They fixed it. Then went into the bedroom and fixed that line as well. Apologies were offered and accepted but I still sent a bad review back to their dispatcher because the younger tech’s hearing deficiency was inexcusable.
Lawn Orphans. They are now immortalized.
I laughed so hard I coughed at the fucking lawn orphans
3 cheers for Lawn Orphans!
Hurrah for the lawn orphans! Wished they were near my place!
Go lawn orphans! Great focus and commitment!
I’m so sorry for all these hassles. I can relate to this so much.
Our new house (we have been here almost 3 years) has been very similar. It has taken almost a full year of trying to get new windows installed because of the number of issues–most started with bad delivery and then continued with install and main company issues. It’s ridiculous. Getting water plumbed in was similar. My husband literally sat with the plumber the entire time he was here (every time–had to come back about 4 times because of errors) to make sure things got done. I think we’d be so much further along if this wasn’t the case.
Wishing you luck with the AC! I hope it’s repaired soon with no further issues.
Ahahahahaha, your Kid 2 – the all knowing God is awesome. Bless her. You made my day that started on a very crappy note.
Bliss Crimson the Mooncatx says
I love your lawn orpans! I hope they will be returning 🙂
Charlotte Ridley says
The lawn orphans are amazing!
We just recently brought a new home. I feel this in my soul. Home renovation scope creep is hitting me hard. We pulled the carpet in the finished basement because it smelled like wet dog (though the seller said they didn’t own a dog), then we found mold and rusted carpet tack, so we took out the dry wall in that area, then we found cracks in our foundation, so now we are looking at $20k in foundation repair. Unfortunately, we already gutted the master bathroom (at the time it seemed like a good idea since we already had the dumpster for the basement) so we’ll probably live with a gutted master bathroom for a year while we use our budget to fix the foundation
I’ve been looking for lawn orphans, but apparently our neighborhood is a bunch of original owners in their 80s and a bunch of families with toddlers, so no lawn orphans until they grow up a bit.
Someone inherited her parents’ sense of humor.
Shelley Holroyd says
I swear I need to open a blog and call it Granny Knows. 50 years in the building trades, and I feel your pain.
Repair persons are an extinct species so are Customer Service Representatives.
Roxanne Montgomery says
I want lawn orphans! And, yup… Same here with anyone who gets money for doing stuff around here. The only dependable one is my AC guy and that’s because I’ve known him since he was hatched. I can call his mama on him! LOL
I LOVE everything about this post. Thank you
Ellen Solensky says
Perfect. I’ve been dealing with Ver**zon ,ginormous corporation, for 3 weeks. On hold forever, answers like ,”That is how the system works” etc.I try very hard to be a reasonable, decent human, but jeez.
Or why the lawn growns? 🤭🤭🤭🤭
Hilary Angeline Zanca says
Wow. I had a similar experience yesterday. Mattress delivery; I get a phone call from the delivery guy asking about my address and informing me that it doesn’t come up on his app. I inform him it’s a newer section of the neighborhood, suggested a different app (google maps has been successful), and had to give him step by step instructions on how to get to my house. Based on the interactions, I would not have been surprised if he had asked me how to lift the mattress off of the truck.
You have the most interesting life!
I think I’m going to tell my Kids to become lawn orphans …there might be a market out there 😁
I’m loving the enterprising lawn orphans.
If the lawn orphans don’t make it into one of your series, then you’ve missed an amazing opportunity.
Oh my god I died laughing at the “fucking lawn orphans” comment. It was too much!
Anneke B says
Following so many tales of service woe – and having lived a fair number of them myself – I thought it might be nice to report a “good service” story.
Not too many moons ago, our trusty microwave decided it was time for it to start singing the song of its people. A most unmelodious tune indeed.
Now, while I’m in no way a microwave-only cook, we are a five-person household, of which two have serious food allergies. This means that 99% of our meals are scratch-made and a microwave is an essential element in getting good food done in a timely fashion on a daily basis (how I miss the days of greasy take-out and heat-and-eat quick meals, sigh).
So, research was done forthwith, target was acquired, and puppy eyes were unashamed employed to convince the holder of the purse strings that said target was the “only” sensible choice. Result, the next day we went to pick up my dream microwave, one of those brand-new LG combo-grill smart invertor beauties that is whisper quiet, super energy efficient, and most impressively can make perfect jacket potatoes in under 25 minutes. It was love at first beep.
Fast forward two weeks.
A person, who shall remain unnamed, gets up early and decides to make a mug of tea (yes we are those kinds of savages, cups are simply too small). Somewhere in this process, they manage to smack the bottom of said mug exactly on the top rim of the microwave’s full front glass panel and the entire thing shatters. It was heartbreaking.
Once the shock had worn off somewhat, we contact the retailer, fully expecting their reply – breakage is not covered in the warranty. Being a company that actually does pride itself on its service, they quickly provide us with the details of our local LG service centre.
At this point we had resigned ourselves to a fairly costly repair – it was clear the entire door would have to be replaced and in this model the controls are built into the door – it was going to be ouch.
With great trepidation, the call is placed and the story retold, only to be followed by a completely unexpected response: “Oh no! What a shame! You’ve only had it for two weeks. Bring it in. We’ll replace the door under warranty. No cost to you.”
So in the end, bar a short delay as the new door had to be ordered in, the repair cost us nothing more than the gas for two half-hour round trips. It’s good to know that there are still places where service is a point of pride.
(now if only that bit of luck could be stretched – all the gutters need replacing and the stove is down to two burners…)
I was thinking, what if AC technician started spouting exhorbitant prices and the head lawn orphan dressed him down , negotiated the price and then billed Ilona for consultation services. lolz
Yesterday our ac needed to be fixed. We called a company we’d used in the past. After the technician fixed the problem (at least he fixed it) and left, I eventually asked my husband how much it had cost. He told me they’d changed their pricing structure and now charged a visit fee and a diagnosis fee. I told him that was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard of. Obviously if we had a problem, he needed to figure out what it was before he could fix it. When you go to a doctor, they don’t charge a separate diagnosis fee!
But now I understand. We ARE supposed to diagnose it ourselves! Next time, I can save $69!
I have some lawn orphans and recommend them over a lawn service any day of the week. I pay cash and tip them with Gatorade and popsicles.
Barbara Kay Swanson says
oh, I’d love to see them in a book line someday. Just an aside. It’s classic HA.
Lynn Thompson says
Thank you, Ilona Andrews for the post.
I ROFLOL about the GPS challenged delivery guys who don’t know how to read maps.
GPS is inaccurate where I live. Mail lady is only person who can find me in a timely manner. Amazon and UPS are different people every delivery. Well Titan likes Tiffany, the mail lady, as she has treats and isn’t afraid of dogs. 😂
Love the lawn orphan service. My neighbor passed away in February and the heirs are having “issues”. Last week the neighborhood deliberately cut the 4 foot tall grass as driveway views of on coming traffic was being blocked. Livestock is doing fine as we keep an eye on them too.
Krista Northcut says
My goodness you make me laugh. I like reading your blog nearly as much as I like reading your books. The books still win but I really like this blog.
Donna Reid says
Irony and humor. Life is starting to move toward normal, finally.
Amen. All I ask is you do your job and I will do mine.
“I’m just trying not to be hot.” mood!
Loved this post. I too have experienced “experts” asking my opinion and it is so irritating…why am I paying you?!?
lol at all the lawn orphan stuff
Glad it ended well.
I recently found lawn orphans in time to replace kid 4 (you have saved my children from being called their siblings’ or pets’ names) who now makes more money working on other people’s landscaping and home repairs all day and I felt guilty paying him family rate for ours.
I agree … these kids will rule the world some day … fabulous work ethic and drive!
Sorry to hear about AC issues, too, hope kids stay cool in all ways. Repair techs are interesting … I’m usually happiest when they’re old, somewhere around the age of our house and equipment!
p.s. clock photo is non-associated … very very new to posting and when it said ‘add image’ thought it was for the little circle thing next to my name. That said, this is one of my favorite Paris photos!
Is it wrong that I have now, in my late forties, decided that the sexiest traits around are competency and efficiency? I’ve noticed I actually get a little bit of a crush on people who display these traits. Is it the rarity?
Anneke B says
oh you are not wrong – it’s a bit like the realisation that “common sense” is not nearly as common as the term would imply…
and for the record, competence is very, very sexy