Gordon: Tuna has something.
I spin toward Tuna who is crouched in a hunting position by the raised dog water dish.
Me: What do you have? Is it a scorpion? Please don’t be a scorpion.
Gordon: It’s probably a lizard again.
Kid 1: What’s going on?
Me: Tuna has something!
Kid 1: Not again.
Gordon, dropping down to look under the water dish, because lifting it would startle the critter and the critter would run and Tuna would chase.
Me: What is it?
Gordon: It’s a pen.
Me: A what?
Gordon: A pen.
I lift the water dish and Tuna bats the pen across the kitchen and gives chase.
#
Kid 1: The chicken soft tacos were delicious, mom.
Me: Thank you.
Kid 1: But the tortillas didn’t taste as good as they do normally.
Me: That’s because they are not fresh HEB tortillas. They are the Mission kind…
Kid1, making big eyes: Oh no.
Fresh HEB tortillas are delicious but they must be eaten within 48 hours or they grow mold. They are preservative-free.
#
Kid 2: I can’t come over. Feel sorry for me.
Me: Why?
Kid 2: You know how our neighbors have that really aggressive little dog? He is scared of Artha but when he smells Quincy through the fence, he snarls at him and barks. Quincy gets really upset but he is a nincompoop, so to prove his toughness, he bites grass and shakes it around.
Me: He what?
Kid 2: He bites grass. Because he thinks it makes him ferocious. He has now swallowed a bunch of it, so I can’t come over, because Quin-cinerator is pooping grass all over the porch and I need to make sure he is done.
LOL, the HEB tortilla one had me laughing. We are in San Antonio and shop HEB all the time. But due to income pressure, we bought the cheapest ones they had. One time our kids were home recently and we made fajitas. They didn’t like the tortillas because I bought the better fresher ones! Not the cheapos!!
In a former life, Quinn was a silverback gorilla.
Ah, Quincy! Sending you hugs! No fun when you get an unfortunate reaction from eating grass.
Our GSD had the same reaction to lawn sampling. He liked veggies, but didn’t understand that grass wasn’t a veggie….
I find it interesting how different dogs can be. Our shepherd when I was growing up only ate grass when his stomach was upset, and he always threw up after. My little dog now loves to nibble on grass all the time and rarely throws it up.
Oops. That’s what I get for not proofreading before posting.
My dog now *loves*to nibble on grass.
Fixed ????
😀 “Quin-cinerator”!
Wait, I’m confused. How do fresh tortillas get mold so quickly? I grown up with homemade flour tortillas and just made some last night. Never had mold issues. Once a large batch cooled to room temperature was wrapped in a lint free dish cloth and placed in a plastic bag we left them on the kitchen table. They were in four days at most. Am I missing something?
The fungal growth combo of humidity and heat. If your food isn’t filled with preservatives, breads and other foods will turn moldy in 2-3 days.
In the SE US, we open boxes, clip the contents closed, and immediately store said container in the fridge … and food goes bad in 4-5 days. A fridge is a moist environment, we can only control the temperature portion of that equation.
My in-laws live in a desert environment, they can open boxes, leave foods out, and the food stays “fresh” for weeks. They destroy our food supplies during a visit, because their storage habits don’t work so well in a different environment.
Personally, I store homemade sliced bread on the counter in a fabric bag, or in the freezer. My yeast beast spouse can easily eat through a loaf before it goes off.
No one asked, but if interested in making tortillas watch Jenny Can Cook YouTube video. It’s simple, quick and easy for beginners.
You can use any skillet or griddle it doesn’t have to be cast-iron. Warm up a full cup of water sometimes a tad more than her half a cup is needed. If your out of cooking oil or lard it’s okay to melt 3 tablespoons of butter. You can mix in the bowl. And of course use additional flour to dust your pin and surface. Tortillas don’t have to be perfectly round. Growing up my mom said she liked my Florida shaped tortillas over my Texas shaped. Boy do I miss her. Have fun!
I’m pretty sure when I was taught to make tortillas I was told to use an ungreased pan. Of course, don’t do that with a nonstick pan, but if you have the right kind of pan you don’t need any grease at all!
XP
Thank you for sharing funny little interludes from Château Andrews! Made my night 🙂
Lol ???? ????????
Thank you, Ilona Andrews for the post. I ROFLOL.
Jupiter, the cat rescued (aka stolen from feral queen moving her kittens) and raised by the dog has been bringing “presents” for past 2 years. It started with field mice…. Voles…Baby birds… swallows.. wrens… and we are up to crows.
The live squirrel escaped when she hauled it thru dog door. No clue how 10 pound cat caught it either. The cat and dog had the best time that day “playing” and I had to replace the curtains in all rooms and window screen in bathroom. I can laugh now but at the time — OMG, what happened today?
So I totally understand.
My husband had a cat growing up that loved to catch squirrels and has a story about impressing a visitor who didn’t believe them by calling the cat napping on one side of the house and pointing the squirrel out on the next side. Of course the really impressive part is that the cat decided to come when called.
I think we get the Mission tortillas here in the UK too. Not being a connoisseur (and tortilla wraps not being such a big thing over here) my main issue was with the high price.
They may not be the same ones but it seems strange if we’ve got a brand of that name just coincidentally selling tortillas in UK supermarkets otherwise!
I like pitta and khobez more, especially as we have a good selection of Middle Eastern shops near me with bakeries, so not just cheaper but fresher (if only they made chapati too!)
It might offend the purists but I have been known to wrap my fajitas in khobez. And on one occasion a roti!
My mom used to say that with puppies with big feet sometimes the energy that should have gone into making their brains ended up in their feet and never really makes it to where it should have gone. 🙂
oh my god, kid 2 has all my sympathy. My doggo eats grass from time to time (he just likes the taste or something, he’s healthy dw) and it’s horrifying- especially if he’s eaten some longer strands ????
Hey, Mod R. I’m not sure you’ll be able to see this, but I think you’ll get a kick out of this. Makes me think of the Koo Kos
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cj-slDqDkOJ/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Those are really well-done. Thank you for sharing.
The poison pen. HEB is my favorite store EVER. Quincinerator. Life is good.
Awwwwww, poor silly Quincy….I love him! He sounds (and looks quite a bit) like the first dog I ever owned- a very silly, comical, noble, and lovable German Shepherd golden retriever mix. That was almost 40 years ago, and I will never forget him ????
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HEB tortillas last longer if you put them in the frig. You can warm them in a skillet (one side) or in the toaster, don’t let them bubble.
Even your brief conversations are great reading! Quincy needs a stuffed toy that looks like the annoying dog next door. Might get his point across better than grass! Also, go Tuna! Pens are better than scorpions!
HEB tortillas hot off the grill are wonderful. I buy the butter, flour and the Mitad Y Mitad (half corn/half flour) tortillas. They freeze wonderfully. I have found microwaving a single tortilla 20 seconds and then flipping and microwaving another 10 or so seconds will defrost and heat it enough for use. If the tortilla has been buried in the freezer for a while, wrapping it in a moistened paper towel prior to microwaving will give it the moisture needed to become flexible.
Pets are so entertaining. Thank you for including these snippets.
I keep my heb tortillas in the fridge and they’ll usually last a week or two. They also freeze well!
My dog one ate a packet of balloons and was pooping literal rainbows for days. My yard looked like it was covered in confetti.
Thank you
I don’t know what HEB tortillas are, but I make my own and they are delicious.
The pen must be unalived before it gets us all! *dramatic cat voice* lol
My cats lick plastic bags to show how hungry they are.
Cats: “Look, Mom!”, lick-lick, “so hungry and starving that I must lick plastic bags!”, lick-lick, “Do you see?!?!?”, lick-lick-lick, “You are forcing us to lick plastic bags!!!!!”
(Aside: one of my cats came up with this and then the others LEARNED it from her.)
Me: It is NOT TIME for dinner! You just had breakfast 4 hours ago!
I kid you not. I started reading your post and my cat, Charlie, jumped on the table and is now attacking a pen. Made me laugh.
When you cannot get fresh tortillas, the best are the Guerrero ready to cook tortillas (called Fresquiricas, which I never even paid attention to the name before going to look them up for that post.) They are at HEB in the bread/tortilla aisle. I’ve left these in the pantry for a while with no problem (is that ew?). You spend a couple of minutes heating up some and they have a good taste. I grew up in South Texas with fresh tortillas made by my grandmother and am quite picky about my tortillas.
We had a similar situation this week when my 6yo found a lizard inside – it had hitched a ride in on the potted plants, as we had our first cold snap in NC.
Of course, it was much more dramatic than that, as he came tearing into our bedroom at 6am shout-whispering “Guys, there’s a snake downstairs”.
It first took refuge in a vent, and then under the couch – finally we found him a) near the front door when b) the kids were in school and unable to “help”.
HA – what about the uncooked ones? HEB has some super good options for the ones which can stay uncooked in the fridge for a few weeks.
This is literally made me laugh, imaging them talking like this is just so cute! Great Post & Information
Thank you
OMG, my Quincey, another gsd who I had several years ago was pretty aggressive but especially protective over us and other pack members who were Pomeranians under 5 pounds. Hilariously he was afraid of water, especially our pool which the poms loved swimming in and using it as a refuge whenever Quincey became “overly attentive” with them because they were both unspayed females. He would also eat inappropriate things such as lounge cushions, potted plants, bitter apple chew deterrent (the bottle!) and most memorably, a huge habanero bush covered in ripe peppers, all of which he showed no distress or stomach upset about. That one definitely had a cast iron stomach!