Kid 2 and I are going to the dentist for a routine cleaning in about 2 hours. Kid 2 has severe dental anxiety. She has not slept last night. She is over at our house, and so far Charlie the Frenchie is laying on her lap for emotional support, and Nykie, Kid 1’s dog, has tried to put her toy into Kid 2’s mouth to help with the emotional distress. No assurances from Kid 1, who actually worked as a certified dental assistant, are able to alleviate Kid 2’s anxiety.
Dear BDH, please think calming thoughts for us today so we can get through this appointment. I am counting on you.
My oldest daughter’s first trip have dental work was suppose to be sedated but it didn’t work and she heard and felt everything (this was 19 years ago) so she has extream dental phobia. She had to have braces 10 years later. She had the spacers put in and refused to jave anything else done it took us 3 trips just to get the spacers out. A year later we tried again and when we walked into the office the whole staff was like “ahhh hi Mrs Smith. Do we think alex will be ready for this….”I was so embarrassed. The last few visits to the dentist they keep pushing to jave her wisdom teeth out and she’s like very my dead body….we have learned to have her listen to music with earbuds from the moment she gets there so the sounds don’t bother her so much. I hope it went well and you both survived with your mental and emotional well being intact.
Love & (virtual) hugs coming your way!
Totally understand. My dental anxiety is so bad my dentist made me get anti anxiety meds. They couldn’t work on me while I was hyperventilating.
And I completely agree with music. Hard rock or early rap from K-pop group BTS is good. ????
Oh, gosh. I can so sympathize. Starting from age 13, my mother had a standing appointment with my dentist — anytime he had a cancellation, I went. Yes, my teeth were that bad. I hated going. His poor dental assistant must have developed permanent cramps in her hand from giving emotional support. So…here’s my best advice: pet the puppies, and try not to think about the dentist. Or, if you do, think how much better it will feel tomorrow. Best wishes, and soothing thoughts. You can get through this.
I’m a dentist. Sometimes, not knowing about the appt ahead of time would help her. Just take her the day of and hold her hand:)
Oh no! I am a fellow sufferer of dentist-induced anxiety. I inadvertently discovered that CBD oil (which I take for joint pain) really takes the edge off of checkup visits. My sympathies!
The fine experience of Naval dentistry has left me with similar dental anxiety. Thank goodness for sedation dentistry.
Sending all the calming thoughts.
praying for calm. I have to recommend Rescue Remedy- 5 drops- it is absolutely brilliant at calming the nerves… Yes it is “homeopathic”. but it works . For me and my children. No idea why. Just does. Like arnica. sigh
Sending love and light, despite the corniness of that statement.
Must be a little sad being a dentist. Nobody is ever excited to see them. Though I guess that’s true of most professions, really. Plumber = your house is flooding, hopefully water. Doctor = you’re sick, hopefully curable. Lawyer = oh dear god, just kill me. Really the only professions I’m ever happy to meet in their official capacity are people bringing me stuff. Yay for the postal carriers and bartenders!
Powerful, calming rays beaming in your direction as we speak!!
Seems to have some practical solutions, if you/kid 2 are interested :
naturligvishomeopathy.com/natural-aid-dental-pain-fear-dentist-homeopathy/
Sending strength and calming. Dentist anxiety is real- sorry for the suffering. ❤️
Oh, sending best of everything! I too had that when I was younger, possibly as a result of having 12 teeth pulled (8 first, then another 4) as a small child—followed by two painful years of braces and then a positioner for further torture. It does get better when you’re older! I won’t let them use that awful Cavitron thing, though.
Neurofeedback brain training has done wonders for our kiddos’ fears and situational anxiety. Good luck today!
Whoops! A day late.
So .. How is kid 2 doing today? ..and hopefully a little less fearfull of the dentist
My 38 year old son, former tough Marine Corps sgt had such a dentist phobia that he let his teeth go for 15 years. He was ready to get implants and went to see a dentist who turned out to be a former USMC buddy who told him he didn’t need implants -just a dentist he trusted. He sent him to another pal who filled 14 cavities, restored his smile and ended his fear of dentists. I hope Kid 2 can find a dentist who eases her fears and makes this better for her.
Hoping Kiddo finds a way to get through it.
I have anxiety about dentists. Cleanings are generally OK, but any time they have to do work I freak out.
Found a ‘sedation dentist’ in my area that can prescribe Valium before the procedure as well as put me in twilight or completely out as necessary. Saved my teeth. Knowing I had options helped me relax. I only have needed the Valium level lately.
Sedation dentistry. It’s the only reason I can get any work done on my teeth.
I’ve recently been suffering with severe anxiety, so much so that one dental appt had to be changed because my jaw would lock up. Nitrous saved the next one. You’re not knocked out, just not anxious. It’s a little more money, but SO worth it.
I find taking 2 paracetamol and 2 Ibruprofen/Nurofen before seeing the hygienist makes it more tolerable. I have no shame about asking for the numbing gel. I also remind myself that I can call a halt anytime….Still hate it but these things help me feel more confident.
Sending calm you way. I like to think about cleanings as day spa for my teeth ????. Sounds better than “dentist”.
much sympathies to kid 2. anxiety and reason do not mix. i can throw all the reason and logic in the world at my anxiety and my anxiety still stands strong. it takes drugs for me to be able to sit in the dental chair (ativan). and even then its a constant battle of trying to relax all my tensed up muscles. because as soon as i get them relaxed, they’re right back to tensed up again. if i remember to bring my music i can stick my earbuds in and crank it up to try to drown out the noise the tools make. that helps a little. but then i cant hear the dentist when they say turn this way or that way.
love that the dogs were trying to help in their own ways.
Both my kids have dental anxiety, only thing that ever works is noise cancelling headphones and music. Also, laughing gas wasn’t terrible.
Hope all goes/went well.
Can you just make an appointment for her and then spring it on her? 🙂 That way she’d at least get good night sleep and have less hours to worry? My mom has doctor anxiety too and actually has prescription for Valium, she takes half of one before her appointment and it has really helped. She doesn’t use any other times.
Who does the cleaning , a hygienist or the dentist? Does she like them as people? Are they sympathetic to her fears? IMO she would need to see someone who can commiserate. Has she ever been hurt in a dentist’s office and is that why she is afraid? Can she have ear buds and listen to some music or talking/reading while being worked on. How long will the cleaning take? How long will she have to wait before being seen? All of these factors will intensify her fears. I’m sorry she has this anxiety. I just got this in my email. I hope she is ok.
So sorry
Self hypnosis?
Valium ?
Pot?
My spouse has massive dental anxiety too, so we’ve found that there are dentists that specialize in conscious sedation for dental work. It might be something to look into, but either way, good luck! <3
Music (Raising Sand by Alison Kraus and Robert Plant is a favorite), a weighted blanket and laughing gas helps me!
Hope everything went well. Sending continued calm from someone who also struggles with dentist anxiety.
I feel for Kid2 and hope everything went well. I have dental anxiety as well. Turns out my body doesn’t like anesthetics and is immune to some of them. It led to lots of bad experiences as a child before I finally figured out the problem.
I have pretty severe dental anxiety as well (I haven’t been in 7 years and I KNOW I need to go. Chipped crown).
As a kid I had quite a few fillings. I hated them. Wasn’t until I was an ADULT that a dentist caught on that I WASNT NUMB. I just thought… everyone experienced some level of pain. I mean, I had since I was a kid, and no one likes the dentist right? That dentist explained that I had more nerves in my mouth than most people, and I wasn’t NOT supposed to fill ANY pain during a filling. I actually went to him regularly for several years until I moved.
Haven’t mustered up the courage to find a new dentist yet.
Harukogirl , my childhood horror stories at the dentist are similar. I am hard to numb, and various dentist would not believe me, b/c hey I was just a kid and didn’t know what I was talking about. So as they drilled I was tortured. Horrible!!! I do go regularly now. The key is to find a great dentist who listens to you and knows how to properly numb you. I’ve only had 2 dentist in the last 20 yrs. and only changed b/c the first one moved away. My Advice: In both situations I gave my history and let them know that I am hard to numb. The test is, if they nod dismissively OR ask you questions, provide explanations and explain their method. Even w/ too many nerves, if the dentist is skilled at understanding the nerve connections they will get you properly numbed w/o 10,000 injections.
Thank you! That’s good advice – I mean, I’m a grown ass adult. If the dentist is dismissive, I have the choice *now* to say “we’re done, I’m leaving, I’m not doing my appointment with you.”
She is not alone. My dentist knows that I have anxiety stemming from bad experiences as a child at the dentist, so he often will just ask me during the appointment how I am doing. He reads my VERY tense body language well. LOL. Thankfully, he is VERY good, has a great personality and I’ve had good experiences with him. So I dwell on that to get me through my appointments, but anxiety can be involuntary so tell kid 2 I am with them in solidarity. ????
My 21yr old daughter has the same feelings (phobia) about needles. Taking her for a blood test as a teenager was heartbreaking. But, then she forced herself to have all the Covid vaccinations and now she has just had a small tattoo, so it can get easier. Not easy to go through and not easy to watch/try and offer support as a parent though.
Strongly recommend nitrous oxide for dental anxiety.
She has my total sympathy. I’m 68 & have HATED the dentist all my life. I have a lovely dentist now & have been seeing her for the past 20 ish years & fortunately for me she understands my fears. As I told her only last week all my fears can be placed at the door of the school dental clinics where ( I can still see them in my mind) the row of white sinks were against the wall, the black chair where you were told to sit & then the horrible black rubber mask descending over your nose & the SMELL of the gas!!!!!!! Horrible. And then the pain!!!!
There are people in my family who go to dentists who specialize in using laughing gas for anxious patients. It’s made a huge difference for them.
I had my wisdom teeth removed when I was in my early 20s. I was to have 2 appointments, one for each side. The first side went so well, my dentist decided to do my other side. The novocaine wore off. I tried to get him to stop, but he didn’t. I ended up punching him in the face which worked. He asked me why after removing all the dentistry crap from my mouth. He gave me nitrous oxide and more novocaine and continued. After that I got free nitrous for every visit.
I told new dentists my story, most will use nitrous and the signal is if I raise my arm, they stop immediately. It took years to stop from panicking but it got better.
I can relate to fear of dentists and needles … hypnotherapy can take a lot of the edge off the fear.
I hope it went well! I always think of going to the dentist as like getting a manicure for my teeth. Not that there haven’t been the occasional nail biters. 🙂
Yep, I have the same anxiety, had to visit the dentist yesterday to have a filling replaced.
I’m so glad everyone got through it aok! Dental anxiety is real! It IS possible to get over it- it takes a lot of time, effort and patience, though…
We used to live in rural North Dakota for a few years when our kiddo was three. There was only one pediatric dentist in town, and you could hear everything going on in the other exam rooms. He was terrified- screaming, crying, and trying to get away. It was a horrible experience, plus they claimed he had multiple cavities and needed teeth extracted and would need to be sedated in hospital to the tune of $16,000!
I drove home to Wisconsin to get a second opinion at a fun kids dentist. He was a ball of anxiety and fear. They said no way to any extractions, said they wouldn’t even attempt any of the cavities until they had dealt with his anxieties. Such a different experience- it was amazing!
They baby stepped him into it- basically had him come in 10 times over four months, only to do a light cleaning at most- look in mouth, say ahh, let him wear noise canceling headphones, talk to him about combine harvesters, show him all the tools they use and how they work, put him in a separate room from everyone else, toy chest and sticker incentives-everything to help him get past his fear. They even let him choose what scent the laughing gas was going to be (root beer, just so you know;). Phenomenal dentist! Patience personified!
It was worth driving there and back to help him figure out how to cope, even though it was 16 hours each round trip. At the end of it, they were able to put two crowns on and fix two cavities with nitrous (we found out the hard way that yes, you DO need to brush and floss baby teeth). Repairs tallied up to $3,000, PLUS he was able to work through his fear and anxieties so that now he is aok with going to a regular dentist.
Getting over dental anxieties can be done! Found out they call it exposure therapy. The trick is finding a dentist who is willing to take the time to help, and paying out of pocket for each ‘exposure’. Not sure if it worked because he was so little, but it’s almost 10 years later, and he is ok with going to the dentist.
Best wishes to all!
Oh the poor thing. I hope that it all went well. Calm serene thoughts drifting on the winds…