Kid 2 and I are going to the dentist for a routine cleaning in about 2 hours. Kid 2 has severe dental anxiety. She has not slept last night. She is over at our house, and so far Charlie the Frenchie is laying on her lap for emotional support, and Nykie, Kid 1’s dog, has tried to put her toy into Kid 2’s mouth to help with the emotional distress. No assurances from Kid 1, who actually worked as a certified dental assistant, are able to alleviate Kid 2’s anxiety.
Dear BDH, please think calming thoughts for us today so we can get through this appointment. I am counting on you.
Oh no! Sending all the calming thoughts and tea. It’ll all be over soon, Kid 2!
Darn, almost first.
May the drill noises be minimal and the toofies as strong as Sean’s 😀
Sitting down with a cup of tea is frequently very calming. Just don’t let her access the blue color. Maybe there’s a color that would be good for this?
Access the blue color of what? 🙂
Indigo Blue (?) tea blend from Harney and Sons. Very pretty color when brewed. 50/50 on flavor though.
I try to find something on TV to laugh at when I hit the major anxiety. Michael McIntyre on YouTube is my go to.
Good luck! Sending good calm vibes your way, Kid 2
Arabella’s mysterious colors?
Arabella at the dentist’s…
o_O
Oh dear, I can sympathize with Kid 2. For me it was the novacaine, no amount of reassurance helped. Here’s hoping it will be simple, painless, and over Very quickly. And with a nice treat afterwards to soothe her jangled nerves!
Jangled, darn it…
No worries, it’s fixed 🙂
Where were you when I was in college!????
I mentally broke my dentist. Out of fear.
Listening to music while it’s being done. Helps a ton!
Came here to say, listen to music. I specifically used to listen to Nasca Fantasy by Kodo (https://www.amazon.com/Nasca-Fantasy-Kodo-Isao-Tomita/dp/B00076PZJS) or any of Cast in Bronze’s albums (http://castinbronze.net/download-cast-in-bronze-albums). The drums and bells respectively did a good job drowning out the scraping and buffing.
If it were me, I’d listen to anything by Ilona Andrews.
You are the Zen and Master of all. You have this!
Dogs know, and try to make you feel better. Cats know too, but (to paraphrase someone really smart) you have to convince them that they care about it.
And nice treats after are great positive reinforcement!
I am a retired Dental hygienist and extreme dental anxiety is not all the unusual. I hope by the time you read this that the appointment is safely over. I have a bit od dental anxiety myself but that is because I know stuff.
O_O
+1
You know stuff?!! What stuff?!!!
????
But seriously. What do you know?
Done smell the flowers
What helped me was putting on a familiar audiobook, say,Emerald Blaze, and let Baylorland take me away. New won’t work; I don’t want to concentrate or be surprised by the plot. Music doesn’t hold enough of my attention.
Having an understanding dentist helps, too.
+1
Audiobooks got me through 4 separate gum grafts over 10 months. My periodontist only numbed the immediate area each time. I’d plug a well-loved audiobook into my iPod, close my eyes (I don’t like the sight of blood), and tune out. About an hour into the first surgery, the periodontist tapped my shoulder to ask what I was listening to. Apparently I’d gotten so into the story I was giggling out loud.
Hopefully things went well. Long story short 7 years ago, I had problems going to the dentist plus I was also experiencing dental problems. Here are a some things that works for me. My dentists/hygienists use a water pick for most of the cleaning it does make funny sounds sometimes but it means there isn’t as much scrapping (which really bugs). Plus I bring headphones and listen to music not perfect but helps. I also took the advice of getting a electric toothbrush and really try to floss more. I had to have several teeth removed and to help me the dentist prescribed something to relax me it was one tablet just to help me get through the procedure. Something maybe to ask? I’m getting better about being in the chair, but now I have to get cleanings 4 times a year ????
This is just how I cope with it.
I have a home water pick and honestly, it’s the first thing I would save in a house fire! My Kindle content is redownloadable after all.
Glad you found ways to cope!
I can relate to this 100%. I have extremely sensitive teeth and just thinking about going to the dentist makes my mouth ache. Since I reached adulthood, my dental appointments have become more and more infrequent and tend to occur only when I have issues which thankfully is not often. Best wishes to Kid 2.
I’m a dental hygienist, have you tried using a sensitivity tooth paste for about 2 weeks prior morning and night to dentals appointments? I really like sensodyne pronamel mineral boost! It has potassium nitrate as an active ingredient that really helps with sensitivity
Also don’t rinse it off at night, but let it sit on the teeth and really soak in
Thanks for the tip!! I’ve never tried this, but I definitely will in the future!
Sending supportive thoughts to both of you. Hope it wasn’t as bad as the anxiety makes it feel like it’s going to be.
I think you’re there by now, so just sending good wishes and a visual of the two tiger swallowtails I saw fluttering up an air column by the creek yesterday (first large butterflies of the spring for me).
Anxiety is anxiety no matter what causes it. You have to do the work on it before the trigger events, because once it’s happening, there you are in the middle of it. It can take quite a lot of work.
I would be inclined to consider medication for the actual event. My dental anxiety is generally very low, but after almost two years of environmental pandemic stress, I found myself having to concentrate on my breathing at my last routine appointment. We’re all living with so much churn right now that our tolerance is lower than normal.
Sending good thoughts!!!
Sending all the calming and happy thoughts your way. ????
Perhaps for the next appointment, you can find a dentist that offers sedation? My husband has to be put under to get his teeth worked on. Or maybe just some laughing gas to relax her? I also know someone that has to take a Xanax to go.
Sending chamomile and Zen thoughts.
Tea and listening to a water feature might help later in the day.
My sympathies to Kid2. I’ve had dental anxiety all my life and only within the past few years has it gotten any better because now the hygienist numbs my teeth and gums before she starts. Still not fun, but more bearable now.
peace, peace, peace
I was going to say drugs, drugs, drugs.
when I resumed going to the dentist (not a favorite thing to do, and my old dentist made it very easy to NOT go,) they had safety glasses for the patients. The first time the assistant handed me a set, I said, “these should be dark!”
The next time I went back, they had heavily tinted safety glasses. (Not welder-safe, but dark.)
Good luck!
Tell kid 2 I said “hugs”. I too have dental anxiety and it sucks. I’ve figured out how to keep plaque from accumulating which means I don’t have to get my teeth cleaned as often. Water jet used daily. Put 1 tbsp of 3% hydrogen peroxide in the water (mine holds about half a cup). The water jet cleans where a toothbrush can’t reach and the hydrogen peroxide eats the plaque. Rinse with water after. And again . . . hugs.
Dental anxiety is real!!
My dentist offers a blanket and headphones, which help. Hoping her appointment goes well!!
Sending all of the calming thoughts I can.
Oh no! Wishing for the best for Kid 2. I’ve definitely been there. I cried during the consultation for wisdom teeth removal and the doctor suggested I seek therapy right away (that suggestion did not help my anxiety).
As previously mentioned, headphones help. So do those dense, squishy stress balls. One in each hand.
I can empathize. I had some bad dental treatments as a kid and my fear never abated. Maybe comic relief helps: watch the dentist scene from „little shop of horrors“ with Steve Martin as Orrin, the sadistic dentist. After that, everything pales in comparison.
My dentist’s office inexplicably plays the Mr Bean at the Dentist sketch on a loop. I’ve been with them for about 6 years. Every time I go in, it’s that in the waiting room. I think the poor receptionist sees it every time she closes her eyes ????
I also have that problem. My dentist will use Happy Gas as well as numbing injections if you ask and I am grateful for it even if it costs more. Takes the stress and pain away.
I too know what she is going through – the oddest thing that helps me is counting change, it is so out of left field but it works for me. Take your wallet or purse or your momma’s wallet or purse and count the coin….
I hope it goes well. I’m not much plagued by anxiety, so I really don’t have any advice. I’m sorry she frets so much – it can’t be fun for her.
Many prayers, positive thoughts and well-wishes are being sent your way. ???????????????????????????????????? I have family members, both adults and children, with severe dental anxiety, and it’s not a fun time. Best of luck to both of you and hopes for a swift and uneventful visit.
Calming thoughts heading your way????
Love the way the dogs were helping, that is so sweet.
Hope you are getting/got through the appointment and that the next one is a long time away.
I very much sympathize with Kid2 and hope by now everything went well!
My dentist (in Germany) works anxiety cases like me (and children) with hypnosis and it goes over really well.
I had two treatments with over 5 hours each and spent a nice time in hypnosis walking through venice that felt no longer than half an hour – and I didn’t even believe in hypnosis…! I remember everything about the treatments, but it simply didn’t bother me.
Maybe that’s an idea for Kid2 too.
Love and sympathy from Germany!
I can commiserate with Kid2 as I have the same, it doesn’t matter if it’s a dentist or a doctor. So I asked for xanax for appt. days. I take it the night before and the morning of and it does help. This does not mean I’m not still upset, but I’m not shaking. I literally had the original 30 pill Rx for 5 years and only had to ask for another one recently. Just an idea.
I too went to the dentist today, so much anxiety before during and after. I can relate to your daughter. My teeth are aching now. I left thinking “dentist=torture”
I feel for your Kid. I’m not afraid of spiders and snakes, but dentists and hygienist are terrifying . Good for Kid 2 for doing a scary thing anyway ✊.
Xanax is a good friend.
I am very late, but here goes : ooooomm, oooommmmmm, oooommmmm. Peace.
Ommmmmmmmmmmm
I also have huge dental phobia due to baby teeth extraction without novocaine in russia so lots of sympathy and hugs. Having a good hyginist is key, i also have listened to music during it
I’m thinking calming thoughts to you.
I also have dental anxiety, courtesy of a neighborhood dentist who would strap kids down (seriously, like Frankenstein’s monster) and didn’t “believe in” anesthesia. (I’m not the only one in my family with anxiety from the same dentist).
Intellectually I know that not all dentists are sadistic bastards but it takes some serious talking too to go to the dentist and I explain my anxiety and discuss pain options. And also let them know that I will bite their fingers off if they continue to hurt me after I’ve let them know they’re hurting me.
I’m a grown up now and even the devil WILL listen to me if I say something.
Relax, deep breaths and close your eyes the whole time!!!!!! Repeat as needed! Sending good thoughts!!!!
++++++100
This works for me
I’m so sorry. Dental anxiety is awful. Our dentist will provide gas for teeth cleaning for a small fee (well, not that small but so worth it to get my son to the dentist regularly).
????????????????????⭐️
Sending all the calm thoughts for the visit to go well. My little one uses head phones, he says he hates the grindy noises.
One dental office we went to when my two oldests were little had a tv in the roof, attached to a wirelesss game controller with head phones to distract the kids.
Good luck!
Calming thoughts your way. We have been in the same boat, plus deferred maintenance and autism. I even made a big ol’ blog post about it today before seeing your post.
Many virtual hugs and soothing tea (for after).
I find laughing gas makes things better
My dentist has made it almost impossible to be nervous. Massage pad on the chair. Headphones. Topical numbing before any injections. Gas if you want. Tons of pain meds and you hold a kill switch for the drill. Not to mention he’s super fast and very good. Also stinkin’ cute. Good luck you two! The BDH holds you close in spirit.
Yes! My dentist is smoking hot! Totally helps. Although as my father and I can both fall asleep in the dentists chair, it’s a bit of a pain for him really. Lol
I don’t know what Kid2’s experiences have been to be left with nasty dental anxiety, but I’ll share my experience.
I’ve had trouble with extreme dental anxiety. One day I was thinking about it and realized that if I adult up and can, no matter how much I may I dread it, call and make an appointment, drive to the office, get out of the car, go sign in, go sit in the chair, and take my injection – then I was not afraid of the dentist. However, after I took that injection I would start shaking so bad the instruments waiting on the tray would rattle. I discussed this discovery with my dentist and it turns out the standard dental anesthetic injection contains epinephrine that acts as a vasoconstrictor to make the injection last longer and to reduce bleeding. I am hypersensitive to epinephrine. The solution was a plain lidocaine injection with no epinephrine.
Something about the sound and buzz of the sonic scaler causes me anxiety. The solution is that the dental hygenist cleans my teeth the old fashioned way.
Since I’ve had some truly bad dental experiences, the third thing that triggers my anxiety is the discovery that my new dentist has hands better suited to being a car mechanic. No cure for that one but to find another dentist.
YES!! I had a similar reaction when I went on an empty stomach. I have since learned to ask for the unleaded shot. Scary AF when it happens. All to save some $$ on the actual lidocaine volume. 🙁
I hope it goes well! Sending good vibes out to your kiddo ????❤????
Ahh, I’m too late. I hope all went well.
As someone who was traumatized by 70s Russian dentistry as a child, I (literally) feel her pain. This too shall pass Kiddo.
I wish dentists could give out Versed ahead of time. I have terrible dental phobia and had to go for a tooth extraction (after much hell, it couldn’t be saved) and I didn’t think I could get myself to walk into the room. My dentist gave me Versed at some point because I was so anxious and it doesn’t make you sleepy (well, that dosage didn’t), but it really made you just not care. I remember hearing awful noises and feeling some tugging and thought, “huh, they’re hammering in my mouth. I should be worried about that.” And then floating off to other thoughts. Best. Thing. Ever.
Now if I could just give them to give it to me a couple of hours before I have to leave to go, I’d be set.
Much peaceful thoughts for Kid 2. She is not alone.
I work in a dental lab as a dental ceramist for 22 years and I still have anxiety before cleaning. I had mine three weeks ago and also didn’t sleep all night. All I can say is ‘ I feel ya sister’
Valium before, nitrous during. I was completely traumatized by my childhood dentist. Didn’t go to the dentist for 15 years. Now I am great with it.
Positive thoughts your way~~~~~~~~~
Dear Kid 2,
You are awesome for defying your anxiety to take care of yourself. I hope they gave you an “I AM A BADA$$” sticker because you earned it.
My kid 1 has severe “white coat syndrome “ for dentist. Our dentist is a personal friend so she is really good with her and she understands it is a very real thing.
OHMMMMMMMMM
My husband has been my dentist for ten years, has amazing bedside manner and gentle hands, and I STILL have to take medication before my appointments. There’s something innately terrifying about having someone physically inside you’re head
I know it’s over but I really hope it was ok and she is doing well.
I sympathize with Kid 2. Dental stuff is NOT fun.
Yet another suggestion. Ask if they can leave the x-ray apron on during your whole appointment. The weight can help you relax (like a weighted blanket). It has helped me.
You guys get an apron ????? We just get “hold this” and then the technician steps out of the room lol
Yes!! I had some work done at a periodontist in the ’90’s, and his nurse suggested that for me. It really helped!
When I had LASIK a few years ago, they gave me half a valium. (apparently it wasn’t enough because I kept saying “ow ow ow” about the thing that forces your eyelids open) – and then they gave me the other half.
I decided right then and there that valium was the best drug ever invented and the next time a dentist had to stick a drill in my mouth, I would demand one or two.
I would rather get 15 pap smears than a dental cleaning. But I am terrified of more fillings and crowns, so I go religiously. If AwesomeKid has anxiety over this one activity, consider medicating for the visits.
Sign me,
Advice provider who was not solicited
Aw, that’s a really tough one. I hope it went better than expected for Kid 2. The only method I find that works is to focus on my breath and just keep coming back to it.
You have amazingly supportive pets; so intuitive.
Sending peace and love ????
I may be too late but sending positive and calming thoughts to Kid2. Hope it all goes well for her. ::hugs::
Hope all went well. That anxiety is no joke. Blessings
Dear Kid #2 –
Many, many hugs!! ????????????
Post appointment, maybe some tea and a nap. That helps me. ????????????????
Thinking peaceful thoughts. While I don’t have any problems visiting the dentist, I always look forward to “rewarding” myself with sushi when the visit is over. I hope you have something to look forward to when the appointment is done ????
I use humor to deflect anxiety and one favorite story of mine involved a sleepwalking incident on my 16th birthday (oh so many years ago). My birthday is very close to Christmas and naturally all my friends were away for the holidays. My cousin was the only person who could make it and she has the flu (yeah yeah it was the 1990). Anyway, we were camping in the living room in sleeping bags. She spent the night complaining of how hot she was (poor girl was feverish). I fell asleep with that running through my head because I tried all these things to help her feel better and be more comfortable. So. The next morning I am regaled with the story of how I woke her up in the middle of the night. I was standing over her, gently wafting the blanket over her crooning “Cool breeze…. Cool breeze…. FEEL THE OCEAN WAAAAAVVVVEEESSS…” For full effect it’s important to deliver this in a droning monotone (because I was sleepwalking) and to draw out the last word like a complete freak. Never fails us for a laugh.
I don’t talk to me about dentists, went the other week for a routine checkup and needed a small filling, 12 injections later! My mouth, tongue were numb but not the bloody tooth that needed a filling.
Sending calming thoughts from a cold but sunny Christchurch!!
Dear Kid2,
I feel u honey. I’m right there with u. You are so brave to even walk thru the door of the office. I get so scared, I can’t even make an appointment. I know I’m such a coward, but it is such an overwhelming fear for me. I wish you well, and I hope you have a positive result. God speed!
I hope it went ok. I almost passed out at my last dentist trip. Totally get it.
Sending virtual valium
Clonazepam solves these problems for me.
My tip is to book the appointment for as early in the morning as they offer. I know I’m going to be anxious until it’s over, so I’d rather not wait until later in the day.
Sending gentle cyber huggles and calming prayers to Kid 2.
I’m hoping the appointments went well. I’ve shared that anxiety.
Sending zen thoughts to Kid 2. I’ve been there too and this will pass. Treat yourself to a home facial afterwards.
When I go to a dentist I tell them up front that I have anxiety about dental work. The ones I’ve gone to have been really good. Some will let you watch videos or select the music in the room to listen to. It helps. Hope Kid 2 is okay
I am happy to flow the calming, loving thoughts, and warmest regards to you. Also to help with the after trembles, which I used to get. Warm bath, and soft music, perhaps a nice cup of tea. And of course, streams of love.
Cleanings are not the problem for me, it’s the drill…..
I put off having three of my teeth capped because of it.
Finally after two to three years of putting it off I broke down and decided to have one tooth a year done.
I finished the second last year and it turned out to be the last due to the third not being as bad as they had previously thought ( thank-the-Lord for small mercy’s)
I make sure to brush and floss every day, anything to avoid a cavity.
I hope it went okay! I want to validate how intense anxiety can be and how difficult it can be to alleviate. I’m glad she was surrounded by so much support and love.
Renpho Eye Massager. My dentist has the dental version of this. It’s amazing.
Alternatively: it’s a crazy drive for you, but Harmony Dental Wellness on Spicewood Springs Rd.
Sending thoughts of cute puppies and fluffy kittens your way.
Sending calming thoughts. I have mild dental anxiety and find that having a familiar audiobooks playing in my EarPods helps a little
With the time difference I’m really hoping that the appointment has now arrived/has passed and that Kid 2 is fine now and finally able to relax after what sounds like the worst wait ????????
I hope all went well.
Oh poor Kid 2. I can so relate. If my wonderful dentist in Austin
Hadn’t retired I would send you there. I had a dreadful dentist as a little girl and it took 10 years as an adult before I could force myself to find a dentist.
Sending both of you lots of love and calming thoughts.
Tell her to wiggle her toes through her time in the chair. It doesn’t help the before anxiety but really helps when you are in the chair. Sounds silly but it works great for me.
I went to the dentist today. I cried. The stress & anxiety is getting to me so much more as I get older which is unfortunate as I have a lot of work (dental + orthodontics + maxillofacial surgery) coming up in the next two years. Next visit I plan on taking a relaxant!
I sympathize! When I was young my mother finally after several tries to get me to the dentist. I was Nauseous and\ or throwing up or dry-heaving. She put a pan of water in the car with me and went to the dentist.
Know the anxiety of going to the dentist (I absolutely hate it) so sending good thoughts that kid2 to make it through
I have dental anxiety. Nothing has made it go away, but what has made the experience better is a dentist who understands.
She lets me call time out breaks whenever I need it, and the assistant often holds my hand while I cry & gives me tissues. They don’t try to convince me that I shouldn’t upset, they just accept how I feel and offer kindness & support.
But the time you read this, the appointments will be over. But I dread going to the dentist b/c I have a very sensitive gag reflex and the tabs used for the x-rays make me throw up every time.
But I discovered a dentist that practices sedation dentistry. They gave me a prescription that reduced my anxiety & made sleepy. They then gave me IV sedation. I drifted off and they got to work on me. When I woke up, everything was done. It is hands down the best dental experience I have ever had.
It was more expensive than a normal dentist visit for me b/c it was out of my insurance network. But it was worth every penny.
Many calming thoughts. Kid you are not alone in the anxiety. You are braver than many people realize to do something so scary. Like a dental adverse superhero.
I feel Kid 2’s pain
Dental anxiety is very real and very detached from anything that resembles reality. Our youngest son experiences it, in spite of being very rational (PhD in applied math), possessed of considerable physical courage (served as a paratrooper during army service), and having a very close friend, from the age of 5, who is a dentist (and no, I’m not making any of this up). Sending calm and good wishes. Please let us know how things went.
My oldest daughter’s first trip have dental work was suppose to be sedated but it didn’t work and she heard and felt everything (this was 19 years ago) so she has extream dental phobia. She had to have braces 10 years later. She had the spacers put in and refused to jave anything else done it took us 3 trips just to get the spacers out. A year later we tried again and when we walked into the office the whole staff was like “ahhh hi Mrs Smith. Do we think alex will be ready for this….”I was so embarrassed. The last few visits to the dentist they keep pushing to jave her wisdom teeth out and she’s like very my dead body….we have learned to have her listen to music with earbuds from the moment she gets there so the sounds don’t bother her so much. I hope it went well and you both survived with your mental and emotional well being intact.
Love & (virtual) hugs coming your way!
Totally understand. My dental anxiety is so bad my dentist made me get anti anxiety meds. They couldn’t work on me while I was hyperventilating.
And I completely agree with music. Hard rock or early rap from K-pop group BTS is good. ????
Oh, gosh. I can so sympathize. Starting from age 13, my mother had a standing appointment with my dentist — anytime he had a cancellation, I went. Yes, my teeth were that bad. I hated going. His poor dental assistant must have developed permanent cramps in her hand from giving emotional support. So…here’s my best advice: pet the puppies, and try not to think about the dentist. Or, if you do, think how much better it will feel tomorrow. Best wishes, and soothing thoughts. You can get through this.
I’m a dentist. Sometimes, not knowing about the appt ahead of time would help her. Just take her the day of and hold her hand:)
Oh no! I am a fellow sufferer of dentist-induced anxiety. I inadvertently discovered that CBD oil (which I take for joint pain) really takes the edge off of checkup visits. My sympathies!
The fine experience of Naval dentistry has left me with similar dental anxiety. Thank goodness for sedation dentistry.
Sending all the calming thoughts.
praying for calm. I have to recommend Rescue Remedy- 5 drops- it is absolutely brilliant at calming the nerves… Yes it is “homeopathic”. but it works . For me and my children. No idea why. Just does. Like arnica. sigh
Sending love and light, despite the corniness of that statement.
Must be a little sad being a dentist. Nobody is ever excited to see them. Though I guess that’s true of most professions, really. Plumber = your house is flooding, hopefully water. Doctor = you’re sick, hopefully curable. Lawyer = oh dear god, just kill me. Really the only professions I’m ever happy to meet in their official capacity are people bringing me stuff. Yay for the postal carriers and bartenders!
Powerful, calming rays beaming in your direction as we speak!!
Seems to have some practical solutions, if you/kid 2 are interested :
naturligvishomeopathy.com/natural-aid-dental-pain-fear-dentist-homeopathy/
Sending strength and calming. Dentist anxiety is real- sorry for the suffering. ❤️
Oh, sending best of everything! I too had that when I was younger, possibly as a result of having 12 teeth pulled (8 first, then another 4) as a small child—followed by two painful years of braces and then a positioner for further torture. It does get better when you’re older! I won’t let them use that awful Cavitron thing, though.
Neurofeedback brain training has done wonders for our kiddos’ fears and situational anxiety. Good luck today!
Whoops! A day late.
So .. How is kid 2 doing today? ..and hopefully a little less fearfull of the dentist
My 38 year old son, former tough Marine Corps sgt had such a dentist phobia that he let his teeth go for 15 years. He was ready to get implants and went to see a dentist who turned out to be a former USMC buddy who told him he didn’t need implants -just a dentist he trusted. He sent him to another pal who filled 14 cavities, restored his smile and ended his fear of dentists. I hope Kid 2 can find a dentist who eases her fears and makes this better for her.
Hoping Kiddo finds a way to get through it.
I have anxiety about dentists. Cleanings are generally OK, but any time they have to do work I freak out.
Found a ‘sedation dentist’ in my area that can prescribe Valium before the procedure as well as put me in twilight or completely out as necessary. Saved my teeth. Knowing I had options helped me relax. I only have needed the Valium level lately.
Sedation dentistry. It’s the only reason I can get any work done on my teeth.
I’ve recently been suffering with severe anxiety, so much so that one dental appt had to be changed because my jaw would lock up. Nitrous saved the next one. You’re not knocked out, just not anxious. It’s a little more money, but SO worth it.
I find taking 2 paracetamol and 2 Ibruprofen/Nurofen before seeing the hygienist makes it more tolerable. I have no shame about asking for the numbing gel. I also remind myself that I can call a halt anytime….Still hate it but these things help me feel more confident.
Sending calm you way. I like to think about cleanings as day spa for my teeth ????. Sounds better than “dentist”.
much sympathies to kid 2. anxiety and reason do not mix. i can throw all the reason and logic in the world at my anxiety and my anxiety still stands strong. it takes drugs for me to be able to sit in the dental chair (ativan). and even then its a constant battle of trying to relax all my tensed up muscles. because as soon as i get them relaxed, they’re right back to tensed up again. if i remember to bring my music i can stick my earbuds in and crank it up to try to drown out the noise the tools make. that helps a little. but then i cant hear the dentist when they say turn this way or that way.
love that the dogs were trying to help in their own ways.
Both my kids have dental anxiety, only thing that ever works is noise cancelling headphones and music. Also, laughing gas wasn’t terrible.
Hope all goes/went well.
Can you just make an appointment for her and then spring it on her? 🙂 That way she’d at least get good night sleep and have less hours to worry? My mom has doctor anxiety too and actually has prescription for Valium, she takes half of one before her appointment and it has really helped. She doesn’t use any other times.
Who does the cleaning , a hygienist or the dentist? Does she like them as people? Are they sympathetic to her fears? IMO she would need to see someone who can commiserate. Has she ever been hurt in a dentist’s office and is that why she is afraid? Can she have ear buds and listen to some music or talking/reading while being worked on. How long will the cleaning take? How long will she have to wait before being seen? All of these factors will intensify her fears. I’m sorry she has this anxiety. I just got this in my email. I hope she is ok.
So sorry
Self hypnosis?
Valium ?
Pot?
My spouse has massive dental anxiety too, so we’ve found that there are dentists that specialize in conscious sedation for dental work. It might be something to look into, but either way, good luck! <3
Music (Raising Sand by Alison Kraus and Robert Plant is a favorite), a weighted blanket and laughing gas helps me!
Hope everything went well. Sending continued calm from someone who also struggles with dentist anxiety.
I feel for Kid2 and hope everything went well. I have dental anxiety as well. Turns out my body doesn’t like anesthetics and is immune to some of them. It led to lots of bad experiences as a child before I finally figured out the problem.
I have pretty severe dental anxiety as well (I haven’t been in 7 years and I KNOW I need to go. Chipped crown).
As a kid I had quite a few fillings. I hated them. Wasn’t until I was an ADULT that a dentist caught on that I WASNT NUMB. I just thought… everyone experienced some level of pain. I mean, I had since I was a kid, and no one likes the dentist right? That dentist explained that I had more nerves in my mouth than most people, and I wasn’t NOT supposed to fill ANY pain during a filling. I actually went to him regularly for several years until I moved.
Haven’t mustered up the courage to find a new dentist yet.
Harukogirl , my childhood horror stories at the dentist are similar. I am hard to numb, and various dentist would not believe me, b/c hey I was just a kid and didn’t know what I was talking about. So as they drilled I was tortured. Horrible!!! I do go regularly now. The key is to find a great dentist who listens to you and knows how to properly numb you. I’ve only had 2 dentist in the last 20 yrs. and only changed b/c the first one moved away. My Advice: In both situations I gave my history and let them know that I am hard to numb. The test is, if they nod dismissively OR ask you questions, provide explanations and explain their method. Even w/ too many nerves, if the dentist is skilled at understanding the nerve connections they will get you properly numbed w/o 10,000 injections.
Thank you! That’s good advice – I mean, I’m a grown ass adult. If the dentist is dismissive, I have the choice *now* to say “we’re done, I’m leaving, I’m not doing my appointment with you.”
She is not alone. My dentist knows that I have anxiety stemming from bad experiences as a child at the dentist, so he often will just ask me during the appointment how I am doing. He reads my VERY tense body language well. LOL. Thankfully, he is VERY good, has a great personality and I’ve had good experiences with him. So I dwell on that to get me through my appointments, but anxiety can be involuntary so tell kid 2 I am with them in solidarity. ????
My 21yr old daughter has the same feelings (phobia) about needles. Taking her for a blood test as a teenager was heartbreaking. But, then she forced herself to have all the Covid vaccinations and now she has just had a small tattoo, so it can get easier. Not easy to go through and not easy to watch/try and offer support as a parent though.
Strongly recommend nitrous oxide for dental anxiety.
She has my total sympathy. I’m 68 & have HATED the dentist all my life. I have a lovely dentist now & have been seeing her for the past 20 ish years & fortunately for me she understands my fears. As I told her only last week all my fears can be placed at the door of the school dental clinics where ( I can still see them in my mind) the row of white sinks were against the wall, the black chair where you were told to sit & then the horrible black rubber mask descending over your nose & the SMELL of the gas!!!!!!! Horrible. And then the pain!!!!
There are people in my family who go to dentists who specialize in using laughing gas for anxious patients. It’s made a huge difference for them.
I had my wisdom teeth removed when I was in my early 20s. I was to have 2 appointments, one for each side. The first side went so well, my dentist decided to do my other side. The novocaine wore off. I tried to get him to stop, but he didn’t. I ended up punching him in the face which worked. He asked me why after removing all the dentistry crap from my mouth. He gave me nitrous oxide and more novocaine and continued. After that I got free nitrous for every visit.
I told new dentists my story, most will use nitrous and the signal is if I raise my arm, they stop immediately. It took years to stop from panicking but it got better.
I can relate to fear of dentists and needles … hypnotherapy can take a lot of the edge off the fear.
I hope it went well! I always think of going to the dentist as like getting a manicure for my teeth. Not that there haven’t been the occasional nail biters. 🙂
Yep, I have the same anxiety, had to visit the dentist yesterday to have a filling replaced.
I’m so glad everyone got through it aok! Dental anxiety is real! It IS possible to get over it- it takes a lot of time, effort and patience, though…
We used to live in rural North Dakota for a few years when our kiddo was three. There was only one pediatric dentist in town, and you could hear everything going on in the other exam rooms. He was terrified- screaming, crying, and trying to get away. It was a horrible experience, plus they claimed he had multiple cavities and needed teeth extracted and would need to be sedated in hospital to the tune of $16,000!
I drove home to Wisconsin to get a second opinion at a fun kids dentist. He was a ball of anxiety and fear. They said no way to any extractions, said they wouldn’t even attempt any of the cavities until they had dealt with his anxieties. Such a different experience- it was amazing!
They baby stepped him into it- basically had him come in 10 times over four months, only to do a light cleaning at most- look in mouth, say ahh, let him wear noise canceling headphones, talk to him about combine harvesters, show him all the tools they use and how they work, put him in a separate room from everyone else, toy chest and sticker incentives-everything to help him get past his fear. They even let him choose what scent the laughing gas was going to be (root beer, just so you know;). Phenomenal dentist! Patience personified!
It was worth driving there and back to help him figure out how to cope, even though it was 16 hours each round trip. At the end of it, they were able to put two crowns on and fix two cavities with nitrous (we found out the hard way that yes, you DO need to brush and floss baby teeth). Repairs tallied up to $3,000, PLUS he was able to work through his fear and anxieties so that now he is aok with going to a regular dentist.
Getting over dental anxieties can be done! Found out they call it exposure therapy. The trick is finding a dentist who is willing to take the time to help, and paying out of pocket for each ‘exposure’. Not sure if it worked because he was so little, but it’s almost 10 years later, and he is ok with going to the dentist.
Best wishes to all!
Oh the poor thing. I hope that it all went well. Calm serene thoughts drifting on the winds…