ILONA ANDREWS

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Did you press the corpse with your finger?

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“I heard you were moving to Maryland and starting a tea farm. 😂”

“As I read this I wandered if this post would have been something that Catalina would have posted on her extremely exciting Instagram. 😀 “

Not mad. I thought the comments were funny, so the kitty is tongue in cheek. 😀

Let me tell you what my professional life has been like for the last 4 days.

Web searches:

  • Compact gun
  • Lightweight gun
  • First aid for gunshot wounds
  • Gun shot wound to torso
  • Collapsed lung
  • Gun shot wound to extremities
  • Tourniquet maximum time
  • First aid gun shot wounds
  • Rigor mortis timetable
  • Livor mortis timetable
  • Livor mortis duration
  • Is livor mortis permanent
  • How long is livor mortis observable

Email from Jeaniene Frost: Look, here is an article with the finger pressing the corpse. Did you have her press the corpse with her finger?

Image from Death and Kinetics

Email to the medical expert: Where could we shoot him and do we need to make up a sedative?

Medical expert: Long email, also urine.

Me to Gordon: We need to add a puddle of urine. Also torso wound won’t work.

Gordon: Makes sense.

Me: A paramedic emailed not that long ago about the bleeding out from a femoral artery. I could ask him about the first aid for gun wounds to extremities.

Web search:

  • Glock 43 clearing round problem

Gordon: It’s not a problem. You have to forcefully pull it back. It’s fine for her to have one.

Me: Okay, also how does she leave if the siege protocol is engaged? Like does she run? Is there a delay of like 30 seconds?

Gordon: What we be the purpose of the delay?

Me: I don’t know…?

Gordon: …

Me: …

15 minutes later

Me: I mean, technically he could do that, right?

Gordon: There would be briefings. I say we go with it, because everything else is too complicated.

Me: How many bullets… Did she add one to the magazine after chambering a round?

Gordon: Why would she do that? She is MS. It’s plenty.

Me: One, two, three, seven? No, six. Because one is in the gun…

Gordon: We have to name the drug something.

Me: You have to google it. Because we made up Equizol and now UK made it a real drug.

Gordon: ?

Web search:

  • Equizol

Gordon: Ha.

Me: Yep. It’s used for treatment of ulcers in horses.

Web search:

  • Styxine

Me: I see a moth, but that’s about it. I think we’re good.

Gordon: And done.

Me: End of scene. Wait, did we add the urine?

So you will take posts about tea and you will like it.

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Comments

  1. Heehee. You guys are so funny. Really makes my day when I read one of these posts. Also, I enjoyed the tea post.

  2. “Yep. It’s used for treatment of ulcers in horses.”

    And I laughed and I laughed…

  3. Wow! Besides the urine, do u also hv to worry about bowel evacuation?

    There is so much to know about guns and weaponry in general. I wonder if the guy/gal who just bought a hand gun at a gun show knows even 1% of what y’all know?

    I will take the tea post. One of the best. Now can we discuss how u make ur Chicken fried steak? ????

    Love the cat!

    • LOVE chicken fried steak! Best IV had was at the hotel restaurant next to the Alamo. OLD historic hotel.

    • Yes. If I remember correctly, you would.

      HEEEHEEE. I’m glad my brain isn’t the only one that went there. Just glad it hasn’t gone to how corpses can naturally saponify….yet.

  5. I enjoy your tea posts, and i don’t even like tea.

    Knitting posts, on the other hand, fill me with unfulfillable desire for pretty yarn rarely available in Europe. I still want to read them though.

    • You could take up spinning. (I just picked up a wheel, since I’m actually staying in one place enough for it to make sense, and spinning cuts way down on the soul sucking effects of zoom. But I’ve been doing handspindle spinning since I was in my teens…)

      I knit and weave (well, I did, looms aren’t currently in my possession), but TBH, I like spinning the best and have plenty of weavers and knitters in my circle, and plenty of folks growing wool bearing critters around here. Next up is custom colorways for friends.

      • Hey Tylikcat! Question: I do a lot of knitting holding double and even triple strands. Needless to say it’s rough on the hands. Do you ever ply multiple strands into one for friends? Do you think I could do this with a hand spindle?

        Thk!

        • I have a friend that uses a drop spindle even though she has a wheel. She has done three strands though two are more common.

          • Yeah, I don’t expect to stop using my spindles – I just had a new one made to my specs! – I just wanted to increase my production.

        • Hm. So, while I wait for the last replacement piece for the new wheel to come in, I’ve been hand-plying, which I’ve done a fair bit of. (Right now I’m self three plying a bunch of thread I spun for my sister.) What I haven’t done is ply yarn in which the twist has already been set?

          At the very least, I’d try doing a very loose twist, just to hold them together – the tighter the twist, the more you’re going to change the look of things. You’ll also want to look into S and Z twists – I overspin my yarn in one direction to make plying it in the other direction easier. But if it’s already loosely spun, make sure you’re not unspinning and damaging its integrity.

      • Tylickat – more info please! My 8 year old really wants to try this but I am not sure where to start with spinning.

        • Reenactor here and I can assure you that drop spindle is well within a 8 year olds capabilites. Get a bottom weighted spindle with a short shaft and a small dense spindle whorl (round weight). You should be able to find you tube videos to watch. Get precarded tops on Ebay or from a localfibre shop. I am UK based so can’t help with suppliers if you are US based.

          • Totally agree. I taught myself, in my teens, from a book.* But it’s a skill that was commonly taught to five year olds, and it’s very satisfying.

            I started with a low-whorl spindle, and now spin pretty much exclusively high-whorl. High whorl is faster, low whorl is easier to control? Spindles are pretty easy to come by, or to make (most of the ones sold on etsy are lighter than I like, especially for starting with, though I know a lot of people prefer lighter ones? I mean, I’ve taught people to spin using random garden tools before…)

            * Okay, I had been dreaming about it beforehand?

            • Oh – and many spindles can be used as either low or high whorl, and some are even intended to be used for both. (When I left Seattle, I gave away or gave to long term loan most of my spinning equipment, and only brought my very favorite spindle… which is designed to be switched.) I wouldn’t worry about that for starting out, though – get a nice, sturdy low whorl, don’t pay too much for it, and go from there

      • Drop spinning does look amazing. Hypnotic and amazing. I‘ve been meaning to try it when I next get a chance.

        • I find it calming. Also, tactile, which is especially great when I’m otherwise on Zoom all day.

      • Berlin. We have lots of lovely yarn stores with many artisanal yarns! Just they tend to be different ones than the ones available in North America.

  6. I love the cat pictures. Ok, I will take the tea post. 😀

    Loved the conversations between you and Gordon while trying to hammer out scenes in the book.

    Also, Equizol a treatment for horses. The things you learn while reading a post. So…Bug takes a treatment designed for horses. Hmmm…we knew he could be a horses behind when riled up. So… I will leave it at that.

      • So, there may now or at some point in the the future, members of the BDH who are using what Bug uses…

        • Some humans are already using omeprazole. The brand name in human pharmacy is Prilosec. It’s used for reflux. Very helpful when you need it, though it’s not a good idea to stay on it longterm.

          • I have been taking omeprazole for years… how is it bad long term and can something be done to counteract that if I still need the omeprazole? I will be getting my esopagus and stomach examined soon… had it done last year also… do not remember name of the test, but if I reflux into my throat, though rare, if normal acidity, it burns and hurts really bad. One time I could not speak for 20 minutes… really scared me. My dad had esopagus cancer after years of GERD so have concerns, but do not want to harm my body in other ways. Zantac made me sick… good thing since it can cause cancer.

      • I take the ‘prazole stuff – they’re gastro-resistant tablets used to decrease the acid in stomach and are part of the proton pump inhibitor family of drugs.

  7. For years now I’ve wanted HBO or Netflix to pick up the Kate Daniels series for a show or movie series (So long as it’s done well like Game of Thrones not done poorly like Dresden).

    But now I would happily watch the two of you talk through your style of writing.

    I liked the post about tea as well, for what it’s worth.

  8. Having seen and treated hundreds of gun shot wounds – depends on the round but for a compressible wound – put a tourniquet on it for a non- compressible wound – depends on skill of person giving first aid from open up the abdomen and put artery forceps on the artery to pouring TachoSil in to it.
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7093954/
    Tells you everything you want to know

    • I read in a book that certain military stealth types use tampons to stop up bullet holes whilst in the field – not sure how true it is but…

    • I learn the most interesting things on this blog like tea, wound treatment, and real estate and livibility in Maryland. And that is just this week. 🙂

  10. This makes me think of that post from way back, when you talked about going to the office supply store to get supplies for brainstorming about the kidnapping in the book and tried not to horrify the clerk.

  11. I think you should sue for their use of the name Equizol? Wouldn’t it be under copyright protection? I think that would be hilarious.

    “Why did you pick the name Equizol?”
    “I don’t know, it just came to me.”
    “Did it come to you after you read Ilona Andrews?”
    “Um…”

  13. Ok, so the subject is tea……….

    Is there a tea equivalent of civet coffee? If so, tells us all about it…

    • Well, there is Lapsang souchong which is a smoked tea. I bought some once being adventurous. It was remarkably similar to drinking tea in the middle of a choking grass fire and not something I would recommend. I kept wondering why the kitchen smelled like I had overdone the toast and finally realized it was the tea, which I had not sealed in an airtight container.

      • Gorgeous stuff IMHO and one of the teas used in Russian Caravan blends to replicate the smoky taste the tea used to acquire when brought by overland caravan from China to Russia. Trick is not to brew it too strong and to ensure you buy the best quality you can find.

  15. This was hilarious! I wonder how many federal databases you landed on due to your fun searches? Lucky for you, your author status is a pretty solid hall pass, but still it’s amusing to think of some Intel person following your bread crumb trail 🙂

    I love these snippets!

    • Shortly after the Boston Marathon bombing searches for pressure cooker … went up. People were curious. But at the same time, it was becoming apparent just how much surveilance was being done on average citizens. A couple, one of which was a writer, received an official visit within hours.
      I wonder if the new reality of online monitoring has effected or suppressed writers online searching of subjects.

  16. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I thought figuring out marketing for a new company during a pandemic was bad!

    But if you need gun help, my husband is an FFL and can walk you through most gun things.

  17. I liked the tea post! And I hardly drink tea, being more of a coffee person. Also more knitting posts please! If you have time in your busy schedules of course. TIA!

  19. Don’t ever go into crime. They will check Google history and immediately put you both in jail!

  20. Drug names always fun. Here is a link for some common (generic) drug name roots to either avoid or embrace depending on your naming inspirations: https://blog.nclexmastery.com/drug-stems-prefixes-roots-suffixes/

    There are more and more details on some of them even – mab is more generic than umab, omab, ximab, zumab – which provide more information about the monoclonal antibody (how ‘human’ it is).

    Sigh. But helps figure out a new drug faster when you know some of the naming conventions.

  21. It’s been a long time since I touched a corpse. I was a Director of Nurses for MANY years in a nursing home (before taking a desk job) and I loved my residents. As they passed away, I was usually at their bedside with the families or I always came in to be with them. I also preferred to be part of the team that cleaned the body up. So when I think of touching a corpse, I think of paying respect to someone I loved. ????

  22. Of course! Absolutely, I would also love to see the rest of the results of teas that were too long to write about! I enjoy all that you give us! Thank you and happy hunting!

  24. Homeland security may be knocking at you door with questions. Or you’re on a watch list. Are you establishing your alibi with this post? All of your readers will vouch for you guys for the price of a new story.

  25. And this is why I read your stuff. It feels so real. Even a work of fiction has a grounding in reality that allows the reader to experience what the characters go through.

    Thank you for providing mentally and emotionally stimulating reading material.

  27. Good thing you don’t work for someone else and are googling on your lunch hour the IT department and Security would be meeting with you constantly……

  31. Lol, love the cat attitude pics.

    I am in a ongoing negotiation with my 6 year old about what pets she can have. We agreed on a fish when she turns 7, a cat at 13, and a dog when she moves out (for college).

    Last week, she had a nightmare that her hypothetical cat ate the hypothetical fish (which would be at least 6 years old). This required extensive discussion and midnight googling to determine whether fish tanks really do have lids (as they frequently don’t in cartoons).

    So, I appreciate reading your web search list, as it puts my midnight quest in perspective.

    • Tell your daughter I maintained lovely aquariums full of fish for years and had two cats as well. No fish were eaten! The cats loved watching the fish swim, too. I do recommend glass over plastic. A new kitten scratched up the plastic goldfish aquarium until she figured out she was never getting in lol.

      • But make sure it isn’t flying fish. Our cat never bothered the fish until we got ones that jumped alot was a kid so may not been flying fish but that was mom called them when she brought them. We had a mess, the cat was after them and in the tank more often then not. Of course he might have been avoiding them, they seem to want to commit suicide. The other fish didn’t like the cat joining them though.

  32. These posts are always may favorite. OK, I could live without knowing about livor mortis, but still…my favorite. I’m going to be giggling over this all day.

  33. I enjoyed the tea post. I’m not a big tea drinker, but my teens love tea. The teas you posted sounded delicious and I’ll probably purchase some to try. Thank you for the suggestions. 🙂

  35. Serious giggle factor. I always wonder what NSA or FBI think of writer’s search history.

  37. OMG! You guys are definitely on somebody’s Watch List somewhere!!
    I can just see the agents pouring over your various media, going “What’s their target! Timeline, we need their timeline!! We’ve got to get out in front, before they strike! These people are twisted! ????????”

  39. Whatever you want to write I will read.

    Tea: ooh I want some
    Kittys: aww
    Your writing process: fun
    Recipes: fantastic!
    Book recommendations: bring them on! This is where I’ve found the rest of the books I read while waiting for your next one.
    Any and all snippets/novellas/books: a very special present that I will repeatedly devour.

  40. I laughed so loud at this post! Then I read it to my dad. He said as a soldier and police officer he always put one in the magazine after chambering a round. I love the tea post.

  41. LOL
    Your books are definitely hard work. I am so glad that the two of you do this together.
    And I love Jeanine Frost!

  42. I hope you two are using Duck Duck Go for your searches. If not you better hope no one you know or a neighbor gets “whacked” ;^)

  44. I loved the tea post and am eagerly awaiting any future tea posts you may choose to do. I also enjoy your yarn posts, your work posts, and OK all the posts. (But the tea posts are the most immediately useful as I’m in the process of considering new teas!)

  46. so who is shooting whom and why – Catalina is an MS but normally not with guns … so is it her or Nevada? … speculation begin a new book – yipee..

  48. Thanks, you made me laugh and we all need a good laugh, and I guess a puddle of urine.????
    ps I like the cat pics ????

  49. Glad you’re getting it done and having fun. Ish. Sort of.

    I’m happy to volunteer as your personal research librarian –I’ve got 27 years experience! (I am only kidding. I mean I’d be willing to help but I realize you probably need to do your own research.)

    Have a great day!

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