ILONA ANDREWS

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author

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Did you press the corpse with your finger?

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“I heard you were moving to Maryland and starting a tea farm. 😂”

“As I read this I wandered if this post would have been something that Catalina would have posted on her extremely exciting Instagram. 😀 “

Not mad. I thought the comments were funny, so the kitty is tongue in cheek. 😀

Let me tell you what my professional life has been like for the last 4 days.

Web searches:

  • Compact gun
  • Lightweight gun
  • First aid for gunshot wounds
  • Gun shot wound to torso
  • Collapsed lung
  • Gun shot wound to extremities
  • Tourniquet maximum time
  • First aid gun shot wounds
  • Rigor mortis timetable
  • Livor mortis timetable
  • Livor mortis duration
  • Is livor mortis permanent
  • How long is livor mortis observable

Email from Jeaniene Frost: Look, here is an article with the finger pressing the corpse. Did you have her press the corpse with her finger?

Image from Death and Kinetics

Email to the medical expert: Where could we shoot him and do we need to make up a sedative?

Medical expert: Long email, also urine.

Me to Gordon: We need to add a puddle of urine. Also torso wound won’t work.

Gordon: Makes sense.

Me: A paramedic emailed not that long ago about the bleeding out from a femoral artery. I could ask him about the first aid for gun wounds to extremities.

Web search:

  • Glock 43 clearing round problem

Gordon: It’s not a problem. You have to forcefully pull it back. It’s fine for her to have one.

Me: Okay, also how does she leave if the siege protocol is engaged? Like does she run? Is there a delay of like 30 seconds?

Gordon: What we be the purpose of the delay?

Me: I don’t know…?

Gordon: …

Me: …

15 minutes later

Me: I mean, technically he could do that, right?

Gordon: There would be briefings. I say we go with it, because everything else is too complicated.

Me: How many bullets… Did she add one to the magazine after chambering a round?

Gordon: Why would she do that? She is MS. It’s plenty.

Me: One, two, three, seven? No, six. Because one is in the gun…

Gordon: We have to name the drug something.

Me: You have to google it. Because we made up Equizol and now UK made it a real drug.

Gordon: ?

Web search:

  • Equizol

Gordon: Ha.

Me: Yep. It’s used for treatment of ulcers in horses.

Web search:

  • Styxine

Me: I see a moth, but that’s about it. I think we’re good.

Gordon: And done.

Me: End of scene. Wait, did we add the urine?

So you will take posts about tea and you will like it.

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Comments

  2. This made me smile and reminded me of the stories my partner tells me of her work(consultant in Emergency medicine in poland and UK)
    My favourite is still that she performed more clamshell thoracotomies than anyone in Europe last year in ER. Gruesome

  3. This is fabulous. I love when authors share their recent search history. I believe both Patricia Briggs and Diana Gabaldon have done it too (don’t hold me to it, it was a long time ago that I think I remember this), and it always makes me giggle. I think you guys once shared yours, and then in the post begged the government not to come after you since it was book research. 😀 You guys really do make my day.

  4. cats, tea, gun shots… lol. Thanks for the laughs.

    Makes me imagine what your computers try to dish to you for ads with that kind of search history. haha. Do you have to use private browsing or some other data tracking blocker? I just know if I search for a sweater or boots, I see those same things then in every ad thereafter.

    good luck with writing work!

  10. Love, absolutely love the second cat!
    Here’s mine, very old and the boss of the house.
    😉

    Laurence

  11. Collapsed lung hurts like hell. Especially when the adrenaline is gone. They don’t put you u set to fix it in my experience of a partial pneumothorax.

    Love the tea and the cat.

  12. No, no, no! I will take posts about tea and tolerate them, but tea is not interesting at all to me. This? THIS is very interesting.

    First, two great photos of gorgeous cats. Second, the third novel in Catalina’s story is on its way.

    The cats are, as all cats are, stunningly beautiful. The photos are so crisp and clear that it seems as if the cats knew they were being photographed and posed.

    The conversations you post of you discussing how to write various scenes are so funny that it brings laughter to me. I know that it’s hard work to produce your books and get details correct, but it’s funny to me to see the lengths to which you will go to get things correct.

    Thank you for the peek inside what is to come.

  16. Ok. This post has nothing to do with the Innkeeper series you are writing but I just wanted to tell you both that I love it! I sure hope you write lots more! I started reading your Kate Daniels Series a while ago and so enjoy those books. (My maiden name is Daniels, ha) so I knew I would like your other books but I just fell in love with the Innkeeper world. Thanks!

  17. Oh I’ll take the afternoon tea , cream, no sugar. Scones & jam please with those nice little cakes that come with it????????????????. Thanks so much. But coffee no tea. And none of that stuff for horse ulcers either ????????????????????????

  18. I will like anything you write, actually. And I also like tea occasionally, though mostly I drink light roast coffee (Jamaican Blue Mountain when I can get it, though mostly Trader Joe’s).

  19. Lol…why does this remind me of a few earlier post? Happily will read post about tea, or drink tea while reading this. Love you and best wishes being sent your way…well by word not action but thank you…needed the laugh

  20. I love the banter! It reminds me of my office mates, working together….in person. The witty comments just aren’t the same via instant message. I miss the meaningful looks…..

  22. I liked your tea post! Just finished a glass of iced earl grey.

    I love all of your books and I’ve been grateful to have them during the pandemic. Thank you so much!

    P.S. I live in Maryland. I’ve lived here most of my life. It’s been called America in miniature, including political points of view, but the state has voted pretty reliably blue for a while now, which is a pro for me. ????

  26. I can just picture the two of you bouncing ideas off of each other as you’re writing your scenes. I read this post to my husband as he plays a lot of FPS games and he laughed. He’s never read your books – maybe he should. He keeps asking me why I want to know about different guns….
    Love it

  27. Gunshot wound to the femoral artory.

    My husband’s coworker was helping his daughter with a stalled car. They were car jacked. Coworker defended the daughter and car with a large flashlight. Robber became angry. He shot at coworker’s male dangley parts because he was very mad. He missed. He hit femoral artory. He left. Coworker did live but it was very close.

  28. Your quote was classic “Whisper Down The Lane”.

    OMG What a prosecutor could make of your searches and emails.
    “Honest, your Honor, we were just doing research for an Urban Fantasy novel.
    We haven’t left home in months, and even if we had, have you seen our work load? Who has time to commit an actual murder?”

    OK, just delirious here. Three months waiting for the motherboard for my Whirlpool washing machine to be manufactured in China (unintended Corona
    consequences ????) and doing laundry by hand, and finally today it was fixed, and it’s sooo easy to do laundry now. ????

  31. Tea is fabulous. Thank you.

    There is a jellyfish/ urine tale that had me in stitches. Well worth the effort.

  32. OK, that was hilarious. What a job you have!

    I also liked the tea post and ordered the jasmine tea you recommended. So there.

  33. ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks. I really needed a great belly laugh today. Once, I was a co-host on a podcast when we interviewed a lady who made realistic rubber blood puddles and spatter for the movie industry. So, I asked her, “uh…exactly how did you do the research?” Strange silent pause…”Oh, we spoke with a number of Pathologists.” Hmmm…

  34. Wow! I know I’ve always appreciated the detail you include in your writing, but this is incredible. I remember awhile back when you were wondering about the government (Homeland Security?) watching people’s online search history. I could imagine those searches setting off an alert somewhere.
    PS. I’ve enjoyed all your posts the last few months. The cats, the tea, we’ve now made Bulgogi twice. (The kids loved it!) Thanks!

  35. Hey! I loved the tea post! Even bought some I am patiently (hah!) waiting for… but I love almost all (giggles:honesty) your posts and I especially enjoyed the cat pictures in this one. I am familiar with both of those expressions.

  36. Thank you!
    I just finished an 11.5 hr working day, which was no fun at all (thinking of it, all my working days since about June are nearly always like this…) and just reading your post made me giggle, and now feel already way more cheerful for the little bit of evening I have left (it’s 9:30 pm now) ????

  37. it makes me wonder if the FBI and such groups have a special category for writers so that they don’t get constantly accused of being terrorists.

  38. It’s always a delight to get the glimpses of your writing process and the research that goes behind it! And just hearing about your takes on everyday things (like the teas!).

  39. Love it all and todays post gave me a real boost when I needed it as have fast referral gynaecology tests on Monday (3 to 4 hours including time with Obs/Gyn)!

  40. Does anyone here subscribe to an audio rental site other than Amazon Audible? They have so little in the sify/fantasy and romance genre. All of the authors I read are there to buy, but none to rent.And I go through 3 or 4 a week. Rarely watch TV.
    Thanks.????

    • Overdrive!
      Hoopla!
      Libby!
      All of them have extensive audiobook collections.
      (Depending on which library(ies) you use them with.
      I haven’t actually PURCHASED an audiobook for two years now. 🙂

  41. I love your posts as much as I love your books!
    Oh I know you were a little sad because you thought Ryder wouldn’t be judged on its own, but it will be brilliant and the haters don’t matter.

  42. I love posts like this and the tea. If I could make a request, could you write a post reviewing yarn? Or a basic dummies guide to beginner yarn? I want to venture into crocheting clothes but picking a yarn can be so intimidating. Most of the internet seems to dislike acrylic but as a newbie I dont want to buy some nice fancy yarn just to ruin it on my first project.

  43. Wow I love how thorough you both are down to the smallest detail. You both are the best.

    If you ever need info related to archaeology. I’m here for you,Roman military archaeology or ancient Maya.

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