I’m having a really frustrating day. SPF/DCIM authentication is an evil torture, created to make people go nuts, and I’m sticking to that story.
I think I might be getting dumber. Braining seems to be more difficult, especially when it’s something that’s not in my typical wheelhouse. Or maybe it’s just the lack of sleep. My sleep patterns get messed up lately, so maybe caffeine is the answer.
When you are a teenager, your parents seem to have the most annoying habits. They get obsessed with weird things like proper way to do laundry or hang clothes, and they get seriously irritated over minor things. Sometimes they wildly exaggerate. “If you don’t stop wasting so much water, the septic system will overflow and we’ll have a flood. Then don’t come crying to me.” When you call them on it, they say things like, “You’ll get when you’re older.”
I’m now older. I get it.
Parental things I now think and sometimes say. Mostly I think them, because the constant barrage of muttering is not helpful to anyone, including me.
- Nobody is in this room. Why are the lights on? Why are the lights on in the pantry? Is there someone living in there?
- Who left the bedroom door open? You know the cat will get on the bed and cover it with hair.
- Why is the patio door open? I’ve closed the patio door three times today. This is the fourth time I’m closing it. Are we made of money? Do we absolutely have to have scorpions inside?
- Please don’t pile the mail on the dining room table. We have a mail table for that. Yes, I know I left my craft folder on the mail table and it’s out of place, but me misplacing my craft folder won’t land us in jail and incur fines. Missing IRS and Texas Workforce correspondence will.
I seem to be doing a lot of door closing lately. Our area does have mild weather with occasional spikes of emergency weather, and I fully understand that dogs need to pee and it’s nice to have fresh air, but the door really doesn’t need to be open 24/7. Also kitchen door doesn’t have the protection of the bug screen and therefore needs to stay closed unless I’m frying something in there.
And let me just point out that while I’m closing doors and grouching, my husband is treating me to witty commentary about all of this. But oh, if someone touches the thermostat, all the wit and Shakespeare quoting goes out the window and Gordon transforms into a dragon.
I think it’s because as adults, we come to value routines. We frequently have to do very boring things like taxes and domain authentications, and routines help to keep us on track.
Now it’s your turn. What parental habits you’ve picked up that you never would’ve anticipated as a teenager?
I can’t abide dishes left in the sink. They either get washed or loaded in the dishwasher.
Agreed. If the dishwasher is full, run it. If it has been ran, unload it, then load it. The only time dishes can stay in the sink is if the dishwasher is running.
Omg same! Drives me crazy when they’re left in the sink.
Alsoo *hugs* good luck with DCIM stuff. ???? Stumbled on one of your emails in my spam folder which was a surprise
Agree! No dishes in the sink. We have a lovely appliance to wash them and it’s not difficult to load/unload.
It’s worse when it’s plastic. Why not just rinse that lunchbox and put it away? Now there’s grease dripping on it from the frypan and we’re left with the joys of scrubbing greasy plastic in scalding water for ages when a 10 second rinse would have sufficed.
Neither of the people in my household is great at loading/unloading the dishwasher, but I can’t abide dishes left in the sink either – they get much less nasty if they sit on the counter until someone has spoons to deal with them than if they sit in the sink.
Plus, once we’re out of counter space, it’s a good incentive to find the spoons to deal with it…
More of the same: for me adulting is when you switch from washing dishes BEFORE the meal to washing it AFTER one 😀
Here I am, just past my mid-80’s, I don’t mind dishes in the sink from one meal to the next or even breakfast to dinner. It would take me three or four days to fill the dishwasher more than halfway. I have a senior citizen son who is flipping a house stay with me. We share the dishwashing and drying. Of course, we waste water because we rinse the dishes before they get stuck in the sink for as many as ten hours. If the pan has grease in it, the grease gets dumped into the garbage, so it doesn’t drip or drain into the sink. All the clean-up guru’s say modern dishwashers use less water than hand washing. My water and sewage bills are 20% less than the average household in the city I live in. My three sisters and I shared dishwashing duties when we lived with our parents. We squabbled over whose turn it was to do dishes. The only time my parents got involved was when it squabbles became mean.
Moderator R says
Oh, it’s definitely the lack of sleep. It makes fools of us all.
I tried to do the grocery order day 3 of no sleep. Kept putting things in the Google search bar and wondering why they didn’t get added to my shopping list. True mystery that one.
oh don’t start me… one must fold laundry in a certain way.( but my way is better than my mothers).. also…. why did I suddenly start wanting to grow vegetables at 30.? .. oh, because my mother did it..!!! … Finally, fresh air must be had.. Windows must be opened… and the second there is a somewhat fine and windy day , floors must be washed, beds changed, sheets hung out and skies scrutinised for impending clouds…. I am now my mother and my grandmother before her…….
You have the window wide open and the heating in full blast! Just some awareness is all I ask
This may have come out of me this morning, I’m scared….
I lived with a housemate who did this, then complained at the price of the power bill. I’m very grateful I don’t have a housemate anymore.
Dishes have to be done before I can go to bed. I also have to make the coffee pot the night before. If these are not done I cannot sleep.
Agreed! But not till I turned 50. ????????♀️
Leslie Sexton says
Agreed! We also live in the South, we have a monthly pest service but who needs to leave out an invitation for critters.
Tessa Norris says
YouTube or Google Michael McIntyre dishwasher, it’s a comedy sketch that every mother or wife can relate to
Ooh, I like his comedy. Off to Google that sketch!
MM is a great comedian for parent joke, definitely resonate with them 🙂
Plus his “People who don’t have children have no idea what it’s like” video is so funny.
CC in CA says
“sleep well” “oh I will”. hahaha
Also the leaving the house part.
Making my bed. I do it religiously. When I was a teenager (and yes, even as a young adult), I could roll out of my bed in the morning and roll right back into at night.
Now, as a mother of two little terror toddlers, I appreciate a well-made bed. It’s the only part of the house that withstands the chaos of the day.
YES! His sketches are the first thing I thought of when I read this post!
The bit about putting the dishes IN the dishwasher, instead of the ‘zone’ is at 3:30.
Wanda Pedersen says
I become my father when I drive in the city, talking (rather sarcastically) to the other drivers around me.
Yes, except I’m far more profane than dad ever was. I’m trying to work on that now that I’m not on the road twice a day in rush hour.
“This thing is done that way. Only that way! No other way is valid or acceptable. Why? Because that’s the way! Why? Because I said so. And it’s final!”
And “this thing” is something so very prosaic… like making a bed or sorting the recyclables. I am officially old.
This is me with hanging the laundry on the airer.
Why does everyone who “helps” do it wrong?!
Patricia B. says
OMG Yes! Everything has a place to live and likes to live there! Why does no one understand this? And of course there is a best way to do every thing! No I’m not crazy! As my husband backs away from the (possibly) crazy lady…
I am officially old.
Getting so set in my ways started scarily early -mid thirties before my husband was in the picture.
Also, the no dishes in the sink thing.Absolutely. What am I, a heathen 🙂
Colleen C. says
Why isn’t the clean laundry folded? Who just dumps it on the bed like that? You can wash those sandwich bags and use them again why are you throwing them out?! FYI – I live alone. ????
Moderator R says
Oh yes, it’s scary enough when I open my mouth and my mother’s voice comes out, but it’s even worse when my brain throws it at myself ????.
Carol Southard says
The funniest thing occurred a few years ago: My sister, my niece, and I were in the kitchen, and my sister said “You have to wipe the table like this, to get it clean.” All in my Mom’s voice, using the same words, and with her EXACT tone. 🙂 My niece looked at me, and I at her, and we both recognized this fact. However, the best part was seeing the recognition in my sister’s eyes that she was, in fact, becoming our mother!
R Coots says
The sandwich bags! Unless they’re a greasy mess, the absolutly get washed. baffles husband to no end! (I used to save bread bags too, but allrrgy to pcn has made me increasingly wary)
Ms. Kim says
My sandwich bags are paper. No washing. Wax paper for greasy things in sandwich bag.
Lara S. says
yes! we use beeswax fabric/paper sheets for sandwiches and anything that can be put into it or the reusable heavy duty plastic bags if not. I have gotten down to using so little single use plastic with the waxed sheets. Amazon sells the beeswax sheets in a variety of sizes and patterns and they clean so easily. And they stay closed by pressing with your warm fingers to stick the beeswax together.
Shannon Campau says
Ahem… the requiring of warm fingers is a no go up north.. 😛
Tasha A says
HAHA this is awesome!
That’s a recent habit, it was never my mom’s. I’m trying quite hard to not buy or use throw away plastics. Reasonably successful, I’ve not bought a new box in two years now. The next to go is Saran Wrap, but I still haven’t found a good substitute for freezing dinner servings. Trying out the compostable sandwich bags for that, so we’ll see. Waxed paper was so so.
I got some reusable silicone bags for freezing in and a set of silicone bowl / plate covers (also the smallest one works a treat on veggie ends like cucumber).
The best thing is they all go into the dishwasher.
Chris G says
Pyrex or Anchor Hocking makes these rectangular or round glass dishes with a plastic lid that work great for freezing dinners. Just don’t take the lid off when it’s fresh out of the freezer or it might crack. Also, don’t microwave the food with the lid on or it will bend out of shape.
Patricia B. says
Love my pyrex & lids set. Its in constant use 🙂
My glass is used in the fridge but takes up too much room in the freezer. Newly retired, I’m not yet out of the habit of making monster casseroles and freezing lunch and dinner portions. I ate both lunch and often dinner at work for 26 years, so it may take a while hehe.
When I start directing people on how to do the task “correctly” I am full force channeling my mother. I have to make a conscious effort to remember there is no right way. Be grateful for any help. However, my husband will rearrange the dishes in the dishwasher every.single.time. I do it wrong ???????????????????? And I don’t care.
R Coots says
I never thought *I’d* be the one chasing lights through the house and turning them off. my husband is the guy, he should do that! instead, I follow him from room to room, turning out lights and sometimes even the TV. Arg.
get his eyes checked if he hasnt gone recently. he may be supplementing his vision.
So funny story, about a decade ago I became convinced I was losing my eyesight. Everything seemed dim. Turned out my 10 year old was dimming all the lights in the house to save energy. ????
I only turn the lights on half power if I’m alone in the shared office since I have a tendency to headaches when it is too bright and then my coworkers are confused when they come in
CC in CA says
That is fantastic! I can definitely see my kiddo doing something like that.
Ha Ha this is so funny!
In the past, I put in movement sensing light switches in the kitchen, pantry, and bathroom. They have a setting to adjust how long they stay on.
Now that I have Alexa enabled lights and power strips, I can verbally turn the light off/on or use the app on my phone
Also, I recently saw that the Alexa dot can detect if somone is not in the room . It can be programmed to turn off the lights, if no one is detected for a length of time. I haven’t tried this function.
I can’t understand why I am the only person in the house who is capable of taking the empty toilet paper roll to recycling, and who makes sure that there are back up rolls in the cabinet!
YESSSSS! I’ve raised two boys, at least I have drilled into them – THE Lid Goes Down! LOL
Oh my, gosh! This is totally me and “No! Tissues (kleenex) are NOT the same thing”.
I also find myself chasing socks on the floor. They’re like rabbits, constantly breeding and running in all directions.
Yes to the socks! I can track the exact path my 11 year old takes by following the trail of discarded socks and shoes from the front door to her room every. single. day.
Hubby didn’t put the lid down (top lid) until I showed him a post that showed how much of the toilet water gets splashed around the walls etc if you don’t put the lid down (mixed with whatever was in there in the first place). He was shocked, as I, and the lid always goes down now.
Melisa M. says
Yes what is so hard about changing the toilet paper roll? You are sitting right next to it!
Melisa M. says
And do it the right way…flap at the top not hanging down like a heathen.
.303 bookworm says
This. I try not to judge but this is something I’ll judge you by.
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve walked into my bathroom to see an empty toilet paper roll on the holder, I could go to Disney World AND buy souvenirs. ????
I use the empty toilet paper/paper towel rolls to make fire starters for the grill/fireplace (wood burning only!)/charcoal grill veg by keeping the empties in a paper bag in my laundry room and stuffing them full of lint as I clean out the dryer filter. If you use candles, once the rolls are filled with lint get all the leftover wax, heat it up and pour it over the rolls, then cut them in smaller sections to use as fire starters. Great for camping and emergencies.
Wiping the tops of the doors and door frames before starting to wash the bathroom. At least I’m not channeling Great-grandma Violet by painting each set of pipes in the basement (red for hot water, blue for cold water, yellow for gas) and dust one color a day! ????
oh my, I’m sure my husband would come up with about 100 things that is me being my mother, but of course I’m thinking about it so I can’t think of anything. These days, it’s more of a, why yes those ARE my monkeys, and i DO belong to this circus. However, I turned in my ringleader baton and joined the clowns. I’m the weird one in the back with all the tears (as I think about the state of the kids’ bedrooms and their playroom).
I didn’t grow up in the Great Depression, though my mom did. Growing up we were taught not to waste. Anything.
I find myself in moments of sanity wondering why I keep things like condiment packets and plastic takeout containers and in an attempt to declutter I chuck them out.
My kids have their own homes now. I know I’ve become my parents when I am frustrated by lights on in EVERY room, even when it’s empty.
Or, and this is a crazy one, no napkins in their house! My daughter and I had a whole discussion about it. Growing up, we always set the table with place setting’s including a napkin. That’s also what we did raising our kids. When I couldn’t find a napkin at her house, my daughter explained that that’s what paper towels were for. She said she and her friends had a laugh about it one day because after my grumping about no napkins she mentioned it to her friends and they said they only buy paper towels too. I’ve either raised a heathen, or it’s a parent thing to use a napkin.
we always had napkins with every meal. paper for informal, cloth for formal.
my husband is anti-waste so we don’t set out napkins.
kid 2 likes to wipe her mouth on her sleeve. I say to her, stop and get a paper towel.
but when my parents come to visit, the table is set with napkins and my little kids are befuddled.
we have cloth napkins because my husband said paper ones were wasteful when we started dating. we only use them when we have guests over because with my picky 6 year old, my husband’s odd hours, and my gluten allergy, our dinners are rarely at the table as a family (much to my mother’s aghast concerns). however, when we have guests over, and the cloth napkins come out, my 6-year-old is likewise baffled, and frequently comes up with some creative use for them… i think last time it turned into a cape! lol.
My kids have been trained to ask for the “hands and face cloth” ????
It’s just a teatowel or flannel that’s been run under a tap, but it does the job & is launderable.
Doesn’t quite have the class of a napkin tho ????
The paper towel vs. napkin is spot on. They have different uses and are NOT interchangeable.
I guess you don’t eat finger food very often like tacos, nachos, corn chips dipped into guacamole or kid 2’s favorite queso, sauced ribs, buttered corn on the cob, or even french-fries which are dipped into whatever. Napkins don’t go very far and it’s easier to use paper towels which sop up the grease or whatever is on your fingers.
Ista in Sydney says
I recently made 3 dozen cotton flannelette paperless towels. same size, simply overlocked around and they roll up easily.
Best thing I’ve done in ages and I can give them a 90C hot wash that kills any greeblies.
“Nothing is wasted, not even time.” that quote is my Depression Era Dad in a nutshell
My husband and I agree with you daughter (we are 60). Our daughter (mid 20’s) says her boyfriend wants napkins.
I buy good paper towel and its better then paper napkins. Paper towel can be folded like a napken.
I think growing up and being the one paying the bills makes a difference; you actually see the numbers in action. ???? As a kid it was just experiencing the irritation of having a parent constantly turning off lights in spaces you felt you were using. (Even when you forgot they were on.)
My roommates and I, on the other hand, got in the habit of unplugging electronics that we weren’t actively using, and had a whole set of alternate cooling processes to try to avoid using the window AC units, all to try and drop our electric bill. ???? Every little bit counted.
I don’t know that I do anything that my parents did, but my sister claims that all of my facial expressions belong to my dad.
Reminding kids to drink water so they don’t have scaly reptile hands or dry skin pain. Wash hands before eating and don’t lick things, get your hands out of your mouth-not even a toddler anymore!
Every single weekend my father would go around the house with a small plastic cup of paint and touch up all the walls in the house that the five of us kids would mess up. He never complained or told us we need to not scuff up the walls. He would just go around every weekend like it was his lot in life to do this. Now I have my own house and I do this once a month. The scuffs on the wall bother me and I have no idea why because I definitely thought he was nuts for doing that when I was a kid.
Duct tape can fix anything! Picked up that little nugget from my Dad. Although I thought he was crazy as a kid, I now have rolls of duct tape in strategic places throughout the house, garage and the shed.
I’m the oldest of 6. I used to relate to their frustrations with our parents, but now I relate with my parents instead of my siblings. I haven’t admitted to any of them yet that I’ve switched sides. ????
I have to do my “Tetris”, as my partner calls it, to maximize the load before running the dishwasher.
Totally picked that up from my mom but it’s my monkey so if he loads the dishwasher, I have to re-do it.
Oh I can totally relate to that one…
Do you load from the front or the rear?
(Or – are you a Lionel or a Jean?)
my dad once told me that there’s no right way to load the dishwasher. I pointed out that when the bowls are put in a way where the bottom of one bowl gets clean while the inside of a different bowl fill with water, that there is definitely a wrong way to load the dishwasher. Yes, the person “helping” stacked three bowls face up when loading the dishwasher. She was no longer allowed to help with that chore, and before anyone bashes me for not using it as a teaching moment for a child, she was in her mid to late 50’s.
Lena M. says
I used to laugh at my father because he had to be at least 15 minutes early at a train station etc. Guess who is at least 3 hours early at an airport… My children are laughing at me now.
Lights! Always lights. And shutting the door to the hall where the cat food is otherwise the dog eats the cat biscuits and gets an upset stomach. And taking off clothes properly so they can go in the washing machine without looking like a knot of pants and trouser legs and jumper arms….
I used to be exciting and interesting honest……
Even as a teenager, I couldn’t stand the light being on in a room that no one was in. Growing up my dad had very strong opinions on how things should be done, ie the correct order to wash dirty dishes. As I got older I came to see that it was also the most efficient way to do things. So I am screwed twice it is ingrained and it is the most efficient. My husband can always tell how stressed I am about how anal I get about “how” a chore is done and not my usual happiness that it is getting done.
Yes! you put the silverware in to soak in the bottom, wash plates and soup bowls, wash the cleaner pots and pans, like the potato pot, do the silverware, then do things like greasy casserole dishes and fry pans last. And then you really rinse the dishcloth in hot water, wring it out and hang up to dry. I belong to a dishcloth knitting group and can’t believe the people who can’t understand why their dishcloth is slimy and smelly and have to be told to rinse, wring and hang.
and don’t get me going on people who don’t know how to mop. Spreading a thin layer of water on the floor is not mopping.
I’ve told my kids they have to play their instruments and take lessons until they go to college. Just like I was made to. They will thank me for it when they get older.
I did grow to start gardening and canning things like my mom too. Also, she has passed on her Chinese tradition of making things like Lo Bak Gao (daikon cake) for New Year, and making Joong/Zongzi (essentially Chinese tamales in bamboo leaves) during the summer. She says it’s my turn. So I do it and share my efforts with my parents and the rest of the family.
My parents were incredibly non-demanding on the house side of things, as they only wanted me to study and get into good colleges. They never asked me to do house chores except for mowing the lawn.
So I’m more demanding than my parents – my kids have to do laundry, wash dishes, clean their toilet and bathroom, vacuum and sweep, do the yardwork. The only thing they haven’t yet learned which they are asking for is how to cook (beyond the eggs and chicken soup that they can do now). That’s next. Have done this for a number of years now and they are 10 and 14.
I don’t want any namby pamby kids who are helpless when they leave the nest (after seeing the pink laundry that some of the boys at college had and the gross kitchen suite).
Laura Martinez says
I can’t stand an unmade bed.
Martha Christina says
Me neither! I just go around making *all* beds in the house… Sad, really…
Me. either! It’s made as soon as we roll out. I cannot get into an unmade bed!
Locking the doors. We live in a very rural area, and though it’s quite safe, we are less than an hour from a major city. I like locked doors. And since many of my formative years were during the Energy Crisis, lights, overuse of water, super-low AC or high furnace temps make fume. Anything damp not where it should be is one of my top five pet peeves.
And much like my mother, once you are of a certain age (cough – husband – cough) I am not going to be responsible for your actions, which means when you drop a wet towel next to the toilet, it will lie there until it reaches sentiency unless you take care of it yourself.
Use it up, wear it out. Make it do or do without. Eat all you can, can what you can’t.
My daughter calls me frugal as if its a bad word.
I was just saying the other day that my 16 year old self would be so disappointed by my 45 year old life.
I find joy in baking bread, I get to be a stay-at-home mom, I homeschool my youngest, and I like to go to bed at about 10 p.m.
I remember being so sad for my mom that she didn’t work or only had a part-time job when we were growing up. I clearly remember thinking how boring her life was “just” taking care of us and providing meals/food.
Grace Sebastian says
‘you eat what I fix you’-‘this is my bed, sleep in your own bed- ‘off the table because I said so!’-‘stop that! that’s my ice cream!’
My Mother is in heaven rolling her eyes and laughing!
No cats were harmed— EVER lol
Yes, not fixing separate meals is a pet (silent!)peeve when it’s my turn to cook for the pandemic pod (we all liked it so it’s a semi permanent fixture now). As kids we ate what was put on the table or went hungry. So even the much hated liver and onions was covered in catsup and choked down. I don’t think my brother and I have eaten that since we left for college hehe.
Naps. I never thought they would be part of my routine, but…surprise! I indulge almost daily. ????
I have it the worst, as I’ve gotten older I look more and more like my mother. I went skiing with my husband and kids on Christmas day, and we asked someone to take a family picture. I looked at it and literally said to myself “Why does it look like my mother is here skiing with us? She’s 78, she doesn’t ski anymore?” Then I realized it was me.
I had to teach my husband that you ALWAYS have a mattress pad on the bad before you make it, and that you ALWAYS put your napkin in your lap, you don’t tuck it into your shirt unless you’re eating BBQ, and a BBQ isn’t a generic name for a cookout with friends.
Danielle Danielle says
Lights on everywhere and the worst culprit is mt husband and my oldest teen.
No one is leaving doors open here. We are in the middle of a snowstorm. You can’t even tell I shoveled this morning.
We picked up a dog door that you put in your sliding glass door. It can be installed permanently but we only use it when we are home and when it’s nice outside. I didn’t think I’d Ike it but I do.
clean as you go. I can’t stand a clutter or dirty dishes left out for any length of time
Janet Scurlock says
I have a favorite whisk!! I never thought my husband and I would ever have conversations involving favorite kitchen utensils. Posted about it on Facebook and friends wanted to know what it was so they could get it too!! A Whisk!!
We used to get ready to go out at 9pm, not coming home until 3am and now we are in bed by 10 on the weekends!! What the hell happened??
Getting SPF/DKIM tweaked just right is crazy annoying, I mean less awful than not doing anything to make it harder for spammers to fake traffic from your domain, but it still sucks a whole lot. The *good* news is that it’s stuff that you don’t have to routinely touch (unless you switch providers or something), so there’s that?
I would counter that it’s because as we get older, our library of lived experiences gets bigger. The septic tank did flood that one time. A dang scorpion did get in. An Important Paper was found two months late and large fines were incurred. And because these things cause us drama, they take up oversized real estate in our memories.
I obsess about closing cabinet doors. I get migraines of the disability level (and talk openly about being disabled at work etc). one of the early symptoms for me is a slight withdrawal of spatial awareness. I end up with mysterious bruises, so I try to avoid banging my head on stuff. I am tall enough that I have to pay special attention to cabinet corners and it’s just way too many hazards when there are already so many hazards in the kitchen for my poor glitchy brain to track.
My husband leaves cabinet doors open all of the time. Needs a glass for some juice? I come in 10 minutes later and that cabinet is wide open. Needed a plate? Cabinet is open. Unloaded the dishwasher? ALL of the cabinets are open. It drives me nuts lol but I just shut them. I’ve talked to him about it so many times but he still does it so I’ve just let it go. Once he starts to bang his knees/elbows/whatever on them regularly he will figure it out lol. And washing walls is a big thing I never understood why my mother did. I get it now. My husband and kids don’t get it but I do lol
When you are on a fixed income, and are paying the ridiculously high heating and electric bills, you have a different perspective.
“Heating or air conditioning the outdoors is really expensive, and it doesn’t work, anyway”
I remember dear old dad getting really upset about heating a mug of water in the newfangled microwave “because it uses up too much electricity”.
Janet Scurlock says
I also forgot to add that I am OCD about laundry. Omg it has to be folded and put away a certain way or I have to fix it. My girls do their laundry, and it drives me nuts. They mix their clothes, and throw them on their beds, unfolded!! I get to do their laundry every once in a while.
Also, have to have a top sheet on the bed. My girls used to sleep on just the mattress, no sheets????. WTH how is that even comfortable!!
no sheet seems like a good way to ruin a matress with swear body odor.
My family ingrained the mattress protector into me, the ones I have now go on like a fitted sheet. Then the fitted sheet on top. Washed once every 2-4 weeks depending on the time of year. As a kid I slept inside the duvet/doona cover like a sleeping bag, shudder to think about it now.
Fussing about cabinet doors being open. I hate it! My fuss budget mutter is ” Why don’t y’all EVER close the cabinet?!Someone, probably me, is going to hit their head on it…”
Its the small things that creep in and the shudder of oh crap I am my mother’s daughter: toliet paper roll goes a certain way – I know there is a huge debate over mullet or non mullet paper roll hanging; no hairbrushes in the kitchen or at the kitchen table – its apparently bad luck er just bad hygiene; I still hang my underthings on the inside of the clothes rack b/c my mom and g’ma said the whole world does not need to see those; cleaning of condiment lids ie ketchup and mustard lids, I barely use them but every month wipe them down; and like everyone else – lights – turn them off; or and my other favourite – if you are cold put on a sweater or socks we are not made of money ( I grew up in Europe where thinking of increasing the temperature cost you money)
My life is so different from my parents’ … I guess inviting company over so the cleaning gets done?
There is a saying about nothing like having an elderly female relative come to visit to make you clean your house frantically! By the way, it’s true. And I’m in my 60’s with an Auntie in her 80’s. When I was in my 50’s she visited. I cleared all the paperwork off of my fridge before she visited and kept the pretty magnets on it. And that’s what she complimented me on. You could have eaten off my floors, there was no dust. My house was pristine. “I like your fridge magnets. Especially the one that looks like a sewing machine.”
I’m actually becoming less like my parents the older I get… I’m finally learning to relax about the dumb stuff. The world keeps turning if my husband folds the towels differently than I do. I’m just going to be thrilled that he folds them and move on….
I used to tease my mom about endlessly cutting vegetables while watching kdramas… guess who endlessly cuts the veggies for the week in front of a kdrama now xD
I can spend literally 2 hours peeling a garlic batch (to freeze) alone, I hope one day I will reach mom powers and be faster… my mom literally cuts without even looking down 90% of the time despite all my lectures on knife safety.
She has yet to cut herself though hahaha
Oh and finding things… for long list of reasons I’m temporarily living with my dad before he moves back with my mom.
Apparently I’m the only one who knows where things are in this house even though we both have lived in the same place for the last 20 years?? He will literally look straight at something and not see it in the fridge/pantry.
It’s actually a bit disconcerting because I used to do this to my mom all the time. I swear I wasn’t trying to be obtuse, I just wouldn’t see it till my mom pointed it out. When this started happening more I feel like it hit me… “wow, I am really getting older now”
The first time I heard myself telling the kid “you look with your eyes, not with your hands”, I knew I was sunk ????
Tasha A says
This reminds me of those commercials for whatever insurance company. Where the one dude tries to help people not become their parents. I love them so much!
I have told myself that there are only a couple of things I will never allow myself to do like my Mum or Dad did. deciding not to learn new tech is one of them. Everything else? F*** it. i’m a good human so obiviously my parents did something right. if i become my Mum I feel pretty good about myself! 🙂
I laugh at myself rearranging the way others have put dishes and silverware into the dishwasher. Never did I envision myself at 15 caring how people loaded a dishwasher. I have a system and no one else abides by the system.
I also like to keep things organized. It’s how I deal with life and stress. When I was young I was messy so it’s probably overcompensation. My daughter teases me that if she stands still too long I might stick a label on her.
I am an empty nester so my kids are only home on holidays, the summers and occasional weeks. I am finding I am getting more stuck in my ways and less able to multitask so routine helps.
I have young ones and anytime they leave things downstairs I put it on the steps for them to take up. They constantly walk right past it as if it’s not right there. Constantly having to tell them to take their things upstairs.
I understand now.
Helga PT says
I was taught that you’d refrain from calling or visiting neighbours between 1:00 and 3:00h p.m. as well as after 8:00h (when the main German news are live on TV). And I (63y) still follow these rules with regard to people’s which are my seniors ????!!!
The kids are 20, 16 and 9. And yeah I hear my mom falling out of my mouth all the time.
I used to be so mad that my mom would wake me up early on the weekends to do chores. We got up at 5am on weekdays for school, so I just wanted to sleep. I would argue and be as slow as physically possible.
It was crazy when I had my first baby, that I got up early before he did so that I could get myself together. No alarm necessary..my brain is on and awake by 5am. I have become an unwilling morning person.
Now here I am waking the kids up to get stuff done. And just like she used to say to me “You can nap when its done!”
Hubby has taken over laundry for everyone. Because of our “over usage” of detergent and hot water. My kids can do laundry, the 20 yr lived on his on throughout college. But he said he is not arguing with less chores. If dad wants to do his laundry he can have it!
The funniest is actually watching the older ones parent the little one and each other. 16 year old has banned the 20 yr old from cleaning the bathroom they share. Apparently he doesnt get the tub right. The 20 yr old stands with the 9 yr old over and over to have him reload the dishwasher, apparently he does that wrong and must be taught the right way????????
Becky Pullum says
A trash can and a box of tissues at every place we sit in this house.
Definitely lack of sleep makes you go crazy. I started suffering with insomnia 18mths ago when my mum was ill and work were causing problems. It makes my brain do weird things while my body is like nope not doing that. ????
Since then things things I would never have done as a teenager like folding the clothes like my mum use to, going round turning off all the lights, I even do it at work. Triple checking the oven is switched off and the doors are locked at night. But its more what I say to my daughter. I can hear my mum saying the same thing to me, its like having a big warm hug from her. xx ❤️????????
when i do something like my mom, i internally stop it and say uggh… that being said, i do try to adopt good habits so if she has a good habit, i’ll adopt it.
My mother would pick up dirty paper towels that fell by the trash cans in public bathrooms. She would grab a couple of clean paper towels pick up the dirty ones on the floor and throw them in the trash. How embarrassing lol!!!
If I see dirty paper towels in public bathrooms, I cringe, say under my breathe… thanks a lot Mom lol, get clean ones, pick up the dirty ones throw them in the trash. Smile because I’m thinking of her and think – I’ve turned into my mother lol.
Everything changes when you become the one who pays the utility bills.
Going into the bathroom to find ONE square of toilet paper on the roll.
WRT bills-you too?
Clutter on the counter! Why is there clutter on the counter? I just cleaned it up yesterday! Sort the mail! Put things where they go so we can find them when we next need them! Where does all this junk come from!?!?!?
I don’t think I am parroting my parents, but I could be mistaken. Mostly I try not to think about my childhood, and just work on a happy place in my head, where I bead, and read, and look forward to pleasant moments. I guess it takes me to “somewhere over the rainbow”. Huh.
Oh so many quirks. Insisting that the person driving has to follow the route that I feel is best is probably the most annoying. If I say it out loud, I generally apologize quickly and invoke my mantra- “I am not my father.”
Patricia Schlorke says
When I move the kitchen is the first room to be unpacked. I don’t care if other rooms are unpacked. The kitchen comes first. My mom did the same thing.
Dishes need to be cleaned,if possible, after cooking and eating for the day. I’m not a big fan of seeing a pile of dishes the next morning. I had to do dishes by hand when I was younger. Not fun.
I’m so glad for GPS. Long before that great technology, I had to be the paper map reader for my dad when going to California for the first time. I drive like my mom in the city. I drive like my dad on long distance driving. ????♀️
The bed has to be made before anything can actually begin. And, I seem to scramble the names of the children with the pets. I have decided not to worry over the scrambling, unless I start using pet names from MY childhood. lol
My mother always ended up yelling all our names at once when someone was in trouble and there’s six of us ????
???? I do this… I’m turning into someone else’s parent.
With 4 kids and several pets, I will often say 2 or 3 names before I get to the right one. My kids are usually laughing too hard to take offense.
Doors left open and lights left on make me crazy. My parents yelled at us and now I yell at myself cause I have no one else to blame.
Leftovers put away even though I know no one will want them later. Keeping them too long so I can justify tossing them. Learned from depression raised Mom.
Does no one like a nice warm leftover lunch? Or breakfast! Cold pizza yea! I hate bfast food. Warmed up lasagna is amazing. So many things taste even better the next day. I made extra so I’d have it for work lunches for 43 years and I’m still doing it in retirement.
putting away pots, pans, dishes, glasses, mugs, mixing bowls, flatware, etc so that they nest properly, securely, and by shape.
It drives me NUTS, that there is a drawer for square/rectangular storage containers, and a different drawer for round storage containers. They nest REALLY nicely, if you just stick with the shapes! is it THAT HARD????
And then you can find the lids/covers….I race to empty the dishwasher, just so I don’t have to redo all the items that are precariously put away (not by size order), not consistently in the designated drawer/cabinet, and not pushed back AWAY from the cabinet door….sigh.
However, I did learn as a teenager that making the bed and not having anything on except one’s decorative items (pillows, stuffed animals, what-have-you), as the single largest visual in your bedroom, makes the whole room look neater…even when it isn’t
I’ve a friend who’s always insisting that the reusable plastic must be mine or do I want it. I don’t know how many times I’ve told her it MustStack if it lives at my house, so no, but thanks. I wish I had space to waste, but I don’t.
When I first moved into my own apartment I walked into every room in it and turned on the lights. Then I sat down on my couch and watched tv. I turned them all off before I went to bed though. I have been known to use the phrase “Shut the door we don’t need to air condition the entire neighborhood.” I do not care which way the toilet paper sits on the roll up or down, but for the love of Pete if you use the last of it put more in the bathroom, please. My nephews have also told me if I say something to them that I sound just like grandma. I respond I know, knock it off so I don’t anymore.
I’m with Gordon on the thermostat. Growing up in the winter it is set at 68F; in the summer months – 78F. Woe be the foolish child that adjusts it on a whim. Trust me – you only did it once! Side note – my mother’s mother lived with us and always had an afghan acrossed her legs to stay warm due to my parents decree.
Our mother now lives with my sister just south of Atlanta, GA. In the winter, people freak out when it gets in the lower 30s at night. Do you know what setting my sister would find coming home from work before retirement???
Winter – 78F Summer – 82F
Because our mother was cold. I had to listen to my poor sister grumble and groan (and I groaned with her, LOL) on an extended phone call how if we pulled that stunt we would have never reached adulthood.
letting the water run when hand washing dishes drives me crazy. We lived in a rural cabin with no plumbing or electricity and had to haul water up in buckets from the river. No wasting! So it bothers me when others do it. I have to bite my tongue ????
Patricia Schlorke says
I hear you Simone. Only when I was a teen, we had well water. Lived in rural Missouri so no town or city water. We got told to conserve water or else.
Valerie in CA says
Lights off if no one is in the room. And unless someone is reading, one light on in the living room.
Make my bed as soon as I get out of it.
Fold/hang all clean laundry immediately.
Dirty clothes in the appropriate hamper.
No dishes in the sink. Ever.
Change oil in car per manufacturer standards, always.
Never let gas tank get under half a tank.
Thermostats, must be a man thing.
Faye Forney says
Karaoke! My parents had a karaoke system in the house (laser disc with expensive mics and speakers we weren’t allowed to touch) They’d also go to friends houses and do karaoke there at their friend’s systems but of course bring their own mics in it’s dedicated case. Well, cue lockdown and shelter in place and who has their own karaoke system now? We went overboard at Guitar center and been asked at checkout if we needed the band insurance for travel coverage. they thought we had aband and needed insurance ! we now do karaoke with our own sound mixer boards , in ear monitors, there’s some karaoke subscriptions involved for the primo content . and people come over knowing that there’s karaoke involved at the end
I also after shelter in place now talk to all cashier’s and fellow shoppers . I was that starved for human interaction I can strike up conversation and tell my life story and learn about others opinions on produce at Costco, mall, etc.
my mom always talked to strangers shopping esp w cashier’s growing up. now people flock to me n tell me their life story when I’m out and about.
I’m embarrassing my kids now. the cycle continues! in my house w karaoke w friends and in public doing errands . randomly talking to strangers or the bath body works sales ladies
Your childhood (and adult life) sounds Epic!
My sister was always shy as a child and now she often embarrasses her teenagers by making friends with everyone in every situation. They refuse to run errands with her.
I definitely picked up the habit of turning off lights after I had to pay the electric bill myself. And I do try very hard to not let food go to waste, but not because of the kids starving everywhere. As I think back, that’s probably about it tho. I’m not a clean freak and I hate throw rugs except the one at the back door for wiping my feet since the one outside is apparently insufficient. I also don’t keep every magazine that enters the house, but I do have the same hard time parting with books heh.
And I guess I’m a throw back to my grandad, as I’m the only one who ever liked to grow veg. Altho it’s mostly pots of tomatoes, herbs and peppers now. Nothing else seems to like the ever increasing heat and drought.
Brian C. says
the insurance commercials where the guy tries to stop people from becoming their parents are hilarious because of how relatable they are. There were a couple items I had to admit were direct hits, haha.
do not touch my washing if you are not going to fold it and put it away correctly
Caterina Henry says
The worst for me is with my kids. I can argue with the best. So much so that I can get people to apologize to me, even when I know I’m wrong, but I have met my match in my kids. I used to hate when my parents would say “because I said so”. This signifies to me that they couldn’t articulate a valid argument to why they said what they did and therefore my reasoning is clearly justified. However, now that my kids throw out some seriously valid arguments that I can’t rebuke, but I still don’t want them to do what they are asking; I find myself saying the same thing as my parents. “Because I said so” I now hang my head in shame…It has come full circle.
Idk why road signs can’t have larger print so it’s easier to see. And we went to Taco Bell the other day and they use tiny print on their menu signs too- it’s not readable.
I feel like every thing I read lately the print is shrinking. Why can’t they use bigger fonts?
Sandra Anderson says
Plastic bags! My mom was a champion plastic bag saver. You had to carefully open the kitchen pantry door to avoid an avalanche of plastic bags. Nowadays I TRY to save plastic bags, but all the stores are using paper. Very frustrating!????
I find myself, a Canadian who was born here and living in a City most of my life, all of a sudden sounding like a Slovak farm wife. “Close that door, are you born in a barn?” Or “OMG, I look like a Strega (witch)”. All the things I rolled my eyes at as a teen now come out of my mouth. My moms been gone a long time so I find it kinda comforting. ????
A reader says
Folks I knew in Houston hung a screen “curtain” across the patio door. The material was flexible enough that their (big) dogs could get in and out at need, without ripping down or altering the screen. Don’t know the life expectancy.
For cooking. They used fans while the patio door was open.
Stayed with them a bit.
Accidentally left the patio door open, instead of closing it for the night.
A possum got in.
Talk about being an unfavorite person with her!
He was laughing while trying to get the possum out w/out harming it. However, he also was unamused…..
The dogs liked me fine…..
Katy Baker-Smith says
Floors!! Why are they covered in detritus? Floors became my chore at 8 because it drove me nuts. Left to my own devices I would sweep at least twice a day.
Sydney girl says
I’m the first to leave the house for work in the morning and the last to get home at night. Everyone else works and schools close to home, and every morning I’ll empty the dishwasher and clean the kitchen. If I’m running late, I might miss the dishwasher, but the kitchen will still be clean.
Can someone please tell me why I come home to dishes in the sink, on the bench, around the house and SITTING on top of the dishwasher????
My daughters complain that all I do is yell at them when I come home, and my husband accuses me of insane screaming – although it usually takes me till Thursday before that straw takes affect.
Also, toilet rolls. Despite a bin next to the toilet there is still a collection on the back. After a gentle nudge, if still there, my hubby gets them on his side of the bed.
And why, oh why, can’t people put things back in the fridge!!!
We grew up without air conditioning, so never had to worry about closing the doors to keep the cool in. But as soon as our house had ducted a/c I found the words “Close the door! We’re not cooling the whole world!” crossed my lips. Must be a universal phrase that all home owners utter.
Jeaniene Frost says
Constantly wiping the kitchen countertops. Even getting eye-level with them to make sure that no stray crumb or dirt speck escaped. My mother was a Clean Freak, and I swore I’d never be one. Mostly, I’m not, except for those countertops. I’ve become my mother with those.
The bed is always made first – regardless of how late I’m running.
I have a favourite wooden spoon, knife, gas hob burner, the list goes on!
I make my own yoghurt and grow herbs.
However I still have the weekend sleeping habits of a teenager (benefit of no kids) and find myself telling myself off for not doing the dishes the night before very frequently. Seems I still don’t like anyone telling me what to do even if it’s myself.
OK, I’ll play. Right now, I’m one of the millions of milennials who had to move back home in my thirties, so it’s a weird experience.
Before that, when I lived with my siblings, I often had to turn out lights, take out trash, generally clean, and complained about it all loudly and often. I started getting those bills and realized that being an adult actually was expensive. I loved it, though. Not the cleaning up after other adults; that mess was for the birds. I loved the independence of it all, even though life ran my pockets on a monthly basis.
What’s super fun is when you get to say all of those things your parent used to say – to the parent that used to say them. it’s like when she moved in with us (and is no longer responsible for those bills) her care-o-meter broke.
Checking that the stove/oven is off before leaving the house
As an adult, the no toilet paper, the thermostat, and the why don’t you put it (whatever was left out) away.
The other day I watched my elderly mother open the refrigerator and walk away. When I was a child, she would have screamed about the cost and letting the food get warm. Now, I just about cried because she left it open thinking about how it was aging the refrigerator and the power bill. But I am not my mother. I said nothing and just quietly closed the door.
Cleaning the house to an absurd level before taking a trip. I call it my mother’s curse.
This!! I do the same. My kids think I’m crazy but that’s what mom always did. And you know what? I love coming home to a clean house. Mom was right!
Absolutely I do this! My husband just gets out of my way and waits for me to zip around putting things away and wiping off countertops.
sigh. I’m now my mother….when I’m cold, the kids are required to wear jackets
Oh, I do this, my kids just roll their eyes and shove them in their backpack as soon as I’m out of sight.
I think it’s really more the issue that as the adults we are the ones paying the bills…
Linda Trainor says
as in I do all this and can laugh at myself. if only my husband could…. close the microwave door… wash the chopping board he’s used… continue with more….
Judy Schultheis says
I had pretty decent parents, for the most part. They had this thing about fat, though, and I got the short end of that particular stick.
When I was sixteen, I swore a solemn oath that when I had kids, I would never call them fat unless they were measurably quite a bit larger around than they were tall. I also swore I would tell them when they did things right.
I kept both of those oaths, and have a couple of really fine women from it – they are both in their 40s now.
When my niece and nephews got married, the only advice any of them got from me was, if they had kids, pick one or two things their parents had done that they hadn’t liked or thought fair and avoid doing those to their kids. And keep it simple because it would have to be something they could remember when they’d been short on sleep for a couple of weeks.
This! Exactly this! For me though it’s telling my kid what goes well rather than what doesn’t…
Linda C says
Definitely doing certain housechores in a particular way because we KNOW it’s either the most efficient way or best use of a space. Same with our rants about opening the curtains instead switching the lights on (“Electricity costs money!!!”) but the ones that makes me check myself is when kid takes aaaaages on the loo and I yell out (just like my mum used to)”Are you laying eggs in there?!!!”
I have texted a picture of the inside of my refrigerator to my son. He has a never ending stomache yet stands with the frig doors wide open just staring. Like he won’t eventually eat pretty much everything in there.
He once ate three slices of pepperoni pizza, two eggo waffles, four hard boiled eggs and a protein shake(that was just breakfast). Guys, this kid is 19yrs old, 5’11’’ and 158lbs. He works out constantly so he tells me he’s “starving”.????????♀️
My mother used to raise her eyebrows and say I beg your pardon to whom did you wish to speak or I beg your pardon could you elaborate when she was speaking to irritating people. Now I find myself saying I beg your pardon to stop people who won’t stop talking. They are gobsmacked to hear that in todays society but it works and it is exquisitely polite. My mother’s description 🙂
Yes I now nap. It’s dark so it’s time for bed. I save money and reuse as many things as possible.
Background: we live in a high alpine environment where we have snow 9 months out of the year. Our little neighborhood pays to have a snow plow come through, and we’re pretty sure he takes immense joy in plowing in the end of people’s driveways. If you don’t clear it immediately, it will set up light cement and you won’t be able to get out of your driveway.
Last winter, first thing in the morning:
Me to my husband: J!! There he is!!
I run outside in my pajamas and stand at the end of my driveway staring down the snow plow driver. I wait, in the cold, with my arms crossed, until he loops back around and plows out the end of our driveway that he just plowed in. I wait until he’s completely finished, then smile and wave, and go back up the stairs to my house.
Me to my husband once I’m back inside: OH DEAR GOD I’VE TURNED INTO MY FATHER.
Husband laughs hysterically at me.
I am Thermostat Dad and Electricity Warden in my house. When my sister brings my niece to visit and at least one if not two TVs are going for the majority of the day, I feel like doing that animated eye-twitch. Then there are lights on in addition to that, despite it being blindingly bright outside and why don’t you just open the curtains????? Very stressful.
Gail Lefkowitz says
I got all my hobbies from my parents. Dad was an amateur photographer, though he liked landscapes and I prefer people. Mom was trained as a tailor, studied biblical archeology, and loved opera. I do medieval re-enactment including designing and making clothing and singing in an a capella choir. I make most of her recipes. I love kids like she did. I am just as social. The whole family understands the importance of live theater.
My parents are gone these past four years, but I still wish anyone I become close to could have known them. They were awesome.
Betty Morgan says
I share your why are lights on issue. Growing up in the 70s that suddenly became a huge thing at our house. Now I get it. Doesn’t matter that every bulb is LED which costs far less to run and last a good while; it’s the principle of it. You opened the door, flipped the light on, got whatever you wanted so flip the switch on the way out darn it
I skipped my parents so far and an doing things my grandparents did. I sleep with the AC at 65°F, I hate wearing clothes at home or to bed, like my grandpa, and I find things tacky, like my grandma. I even notice mannerism that are theirs! The way I push the shipping cart and how I push my glasses up. So far, I haven’t turned into my mother, thank God.
Definitely the lights. I hate it when half the house is lit up & no one is home…ugh.
Most of these peeves folks are mentioning don’t make me think of my parents, because I internalized them early and they made sense to me as a teenager. Toilet paper refills, washing dishes, thermostat settings.
What really gets me these days is how much I look like my mom. Looking into the mirror first thing in the morning (without glasses) often freaks me out because I think my mom is staring at me (she’s been gone for 17 years, but I’m not a morning person).
Patricia Schlorke says
I look like my maternal grandmother. The first time I saw her pictures, I told my mom “why does she look like me?”, and my mom laughed. The way I stand, my mannerisms, my hair, all of it is exactly like my mom’s mom. My birthday is a week after my maternal grandmother’s birthday. That was a shock to me when my mom told me.
The crazy part? I never knew my maternal grandmother. She died long before I was born. 🙁
Wow, makes you wonder how much is really in the genes! My mother also resembles her mother very strongly, to the point where they get confused in pictures. I feel like I have previews of what I’ll look like as I age.
Telling my kid, look with your eyes not with your hands or if you’re not in the room the light doesn’t have to be on.
To be honest, it’s almost funnier when I hear myself come out of his mouth. I dropped a glass and may have said a four letter word or 4. My kid looks at me and deadpans,”well that was different.” ????????♀️
I like home Depot…. Okay, okay…. I love it.
There was once a time when I would sit in a freezing minivan for an hour to avoid walking on those gritty concrete floors.
When I get emotional and have to explain something, I sound like my mother – something my son pointed out recently and that nearly broke me. I HATED when my mother went emotional with this throbbing voice.
When I leave the house I have to go back and double check that I locked the door. My dad used to go back and check the door 3 or 4 times (broke the doorhandle several times) and god, it was so annoying and hilarious and I was never going to do something stupid like that.
The light and the door and the windows.. do we really keep the heat on for the sparrows out there?
Sighing. My parents are both champion sighers – over everything. So ahem, am I apparently – although I prefer to call it breathing deeply when the stupidity of the world just gets to you.
I channeled my mom (a teacher) and dad the first time I was a substitute teacher by telling one of the kids to “Focus! Finish!” One of his favorite mantras to my sister and I growing up.
Especially since I’m not married so they referred to me the same as my mom instead of miss instead of mrs
Kylie in Oz says
hey Mod E
totally unrelated question but in Iron Covenant Hugh says he doesn’t remember how old he is but now (without Roland) his magic woyld keep him alive for maybe another 80 years.
In the 1st book Greg is 38 but he is Kate’s defacto dad and Nick’s real dad. But because of Gregs Magic he is probably older than that. Kate just didnt know.
So will Hugh live longer than he thinks because of The Blood and his own magic and will he realise this?
also, can you search the website for your own comments and any replies that were made against them?
Moderator R says
We will have to see how Hugh’s magic works and wether it keeps him young and safe ????. 80 on top of his biological 30-ish is still a very long life, especially if he spends it in full vigour. However, Hugh is very depressed and tends to estimate pessimistically in that portion of the book. Let’s also not forget who he’s married to ????
You can use CTRL+F on a page and your username if you wish to reread your previous comments ????, but I’m afraid there isn’t a blog search to bring them all up.
Kylie in Australia says
Susan J says
Other person: “ I’ll take the smaller half.”
Me (channeling, my math teacher, father): “ there is no such thing as a bigger half. When something is a half, it is an equal size to the remainder. What you would like is the smaller portion.”
I feel not only do we adopt those parental mannerisms / comments we used to ignore/roll our eyes at/mock – middle aged us looks into the mirror and sees maybe, mom’s giant hips, dad’s thinning eyebrows, and the list goes on. those of us whose ageing parents live with them must hear the chuckle of the parental unit at this transformation. Speaking for myself, one particular ignominy is that at 42, thanks to gaining so much weight, I’ve inherited Mum’s health issues with regard to acid reflux, so goodbye to spicy everyday food or late snacking – I end up unable to sleep and my throat burns – oh, for my younger days (just 2-3 years ago) when I ate like a damned pig and slept peacefully. Mum’s response “at least now you’ll eat healthier, so just have the damn boring gruel at night”
And, yes, I have become a prize bore in any gathering, like my darling Dad. I didn’t realise it until other family members pointed out the similarity
We were an empty nest for a few years, and I got my kitchen organized my way. Life decided we needed to become a multi-generational home, and my new kitchen helper would empty/reload the dishwasher… which would leave me going on a “treasure hunt” for my items, which I would find in alternate-but-logical places. I relocate them, but they end up in their “new” locations the next time they are washed. I’ve taken it as a way to keep my brain challenged. My mom was careful not to tell us how to do anything after we became adults; she just loved us and was supportive… so I guess that’s my aim too.
Can definitely attest to having my Dad jump out of my mouth at know-it-all annoyances at School – “When I want your opinion, I’ll tell you what it is, physically though I’m keeping my hair at the moment, so I’ve not started to resemble him any more than I did as a kid.
Hope the DCIM becomes clear!
Telling everyone to go to bed, “I don’t care if you’re not sleepy yet, go lie in your bed and stare at the ceiling”. “Go to bed, you’ll thank me when you’re older you got enough sleep now.”
Then the book-end “Get out of bed, what are you going to do, sleep the rest of the day?” “Get up, you don’t need to sleep past 10am, if you’d gone to bed when I told you, you wouldn’t still be tired.”
I swear every time I do this it’s one or another of my parents or grandparents possessing my vocal cords.
This was too hard for me to answer last night. I become my parents when I’m really at the end of my rope (my parents had five kids, so their rope was shorter). The rest of the time I specifically try to avoid being my parents. I hear them in myself when I get judgmental. Interestingly, I hear myself channeling my parents when my adult kids get judgmental, even though most of the time my kids specifically try to avoid judging. Back in the day, my parents specifically tried to avoid being my mom’s parents. Each generation does a little better than the previous one. Historical stress and trauma have a long reach though.
Julianne Vooys says
I also got the light turning off from my Dad. And, just recently, I have started with cleaning small one foot areas – the whole room may look like a snow globe that has been turned over and shook violently – but that small clean area gives me a warm feeling, lol.
My husband has been morphing into his father for years now. I got a lecture about the “correct” way to wrap an electrical cord yesterday. I still don’t know what he found inadequate regarding my cord wrapping.
These Progressive commercials really hit home.
My husband squishing all the air out of the trash bag to make it smaller to throw out. Why I ask him – his reply was that is the way his mother made him do it. We have only one bag of trash each week but it gets squished no matter what size.
Mary Beth says
Oh god. There are too many.
The obsession over leaving lights on was one of my mother’s.
Hubby isn’t manic over the thermostat. For him it’s always ‘putting ___somewhere he’ll find it’ and then spending hours or days looking for it.
Another one from Mom: the uncanny ability to find everything Hubby loses and telling him where it is–because I remember where he put it the first time. He gets frustrated and declares it’s witchcraft or some weird psychic ability.
The one he does that drives me nuts–“Oh, I don’t have to write that down, I’ll remember it.” Ten minutes later he’s freaking out because he can’t remember it. I have a pile of post it notes scattered everywhere with whatever he declares he doesn’t need to write down on them.
Hubby also has his father’s habit of throwing out everything exactly two or three days before he needs it. (electronics and cables)
Like my father, I no longer bother to dress to go anywhere. If he had to wear nice clothes for a formal event, he wouldn’t go. I have MS, which makes dressing up super rough. The biggest difference is I do make sure my clothes don’t have holes in them. Dad would show up in his farm clothes with twigs in his hair. Drove my Mom nuts.
Emptying the sink drain! Never saw that coming, but here I am, speechless at finding the drain full of random food bits and loose tea.
Does EVERYONE in this house think the dryer lint trap empties itself?!?
Someday you’re going to burn the house down!…
Don’t know if that’s really possible, but when my kids were still living at home I yelled it so much my parrot would shout it out in my voice, every time I headed into the laundry room.
Just to set you at ease – or, rather, the opposite – not impossible, depending on the design of the dryer and whether you have a habit of running it nearly empty. A colleague of mine found that out the hard way… ????
Dawn Emerson says
A set bedtime was torture worth spending your allowance money on batteries for the flashlight to read under the covers to dodge.
Now, bedtime is my favorite.
And the bath towels MUST be folded correctly or else!
I suddenly understand why my mom has two or three times the amount of sheets for the number of beds in the house. It just.. helps.
Carrie B says
It’s not a routine, but a [thing] that would’ve made my teenage self howl with laughter: a favorite spatula.
It’s the best spatula in the world. I love it so much I’m afraid someone will mess it up and I’ll be without it for the two days it takes Amazon to get me another one, so we have two.
My Kid1 and Kid2 both have informed me that whenever they leave, they’re taking the spatulas. (My Kid3 really likes the spatula, but thinks I’m a little weird about it. He’s just entered into adulthood, though. He’ll get it once his life experience subjects him to attempting to cook with inferior tools.)
I love it so much I bought one for my father, and now he’s obsessed about it as well. (Which my mother, whose macular degeneration keeps her from cooking anymore, finds hilarious. *Heavy Tennessee mountain accent*: “It’s just a spatula!”)
If anyone is curious, it’s the “Tango Turner-Ivory White” spatula on Amazon, and my second one is a kind of army green.
(My apologies to Ilona if the existence of an Army Green Spatula of Epicness causes Gordon to join our spatula cult.)
It looks pretty epic, alright! Do you have a problem with the edge getting burnt and peeling? That’s the issue I have with one of our silicone spatulas.
I can relate, too- I spent years being quietly annoyed that none of our spatulas worked well for use with the wok and then one day it dawned on me: I bet I can get a wok spatula like Mom used to have. And I did! I love my wok spatula! It not only works like a dream for stir frying, it also reminds me of my Mom. ????
I secretly (meaning I hope that hubby and adultkid1 haven’t noticed) that I am very particular about which cooking utensils are used with which foods. Rice gets cooked with my wooden spoons. Pan-seared meats get flipped with my landscape oriented rubber spatula. Cream sauces get whisked with the smallest whisk, meat sauces the medium whisk, and all batters with the largest whisk (even if I making only 4 cupcakes). Whole baked chicken, pot roast etc, get turned with the wooden handled cooking fork. etc. Every category has a specific cooking utensil; if it is in the dishwasher waiting to be washed (run the dishwasher 1x/day), it get’s retrieved and washed on the spot so it can be used….when did I become so OCD?
SPF/DKIM. Need help? I run a modestly sized hosting company.
Moderator R says
Thank you so much for your offer! The matter has been happily solved! ☺️
I yelled at my nieces for something and then yelled “you are turning me into Mamaw and I don’t like it!” Mamaw is my mom to them. All three of us just busted out laughing.
I have figured out why my dad could never find anything in the kitchen pantry. I swear by all the gods, my mom rearranges it every 3 days! I have walked outside, looked at the sky and said “dad, I totally get it now! I’m sorry.” And I swear I could hear his dead self laughing at me.
I don’t have children.. but for the last 20 years .. at least.. I’ve been parenting my parents…. My dad passed in July… i miss my fussing at him.. and him being a snippy arse …. my mom and I live together and she is in chronic pain,,, but otherwise fine… I hate how she messes up the house.. but I also gripe at her about cleaning to much when she should just be resting… its also internalized about lights and dishes etc…. especially gum… she leaves chewed nicotine gum on everything… lol .. Ill be 40 going on 96… 🙂
I married Safety Man, as he is fondly known at our house. He grew up in a dangerous, impoverished place, and he is now incapable of walking past a door without ensuring it is locked. Before bed, windows are checked, curtains are all closed, deadbolts chains and locks secured…again.
I am my mother – running commentary as I drive on everyone on the road. Critiques, insults, ancestral insults are all fair game – although I do refrain from gestures or too much eye-contact because I am not trying to die in such a stupid way.
Needless to say, when we are together, Safety Man drives. ????????
Turning out the lights. And I carry this righteous habit to other people’s homes, like when I babysit. ????
I sympathize. My husband leaves the lights on all over the house. He says it’s because he doesn’t notice the lights are on when he leaves a room. What???? I ask “Don’t you remember turning the lights on when you entered the room?” Duh!!! My sister even complained about it when we visited her. I suggested she complain to him and maybe he’d stop. That didn’t work. Losing battle …
Just the other day my husband told me that I sigh like my mother!!! OMG,
its something like AhmmmOK – when something needs to be sorted out..
I can’t believe it lol.. also, spring cleaning! dishes, laundry, and I have a little
OCD, my mom was less energetic than me (-:
Lara S. says
My irish friend says they all say “right, now” at the break between things to do. Like making a recipe, you add the eggs and go “right, now” and then do the next thing. It’s a nice mental pause to let your brain move to the next topic. Seems like a good idea! So go ahead with your sounds!
???? yes, I find myself doing this. Not sure if we all do, but it’s pretty common.
Cleaning the house before a trip. it’s so nice to come home to a clean place, but I did not notice at all when I was younger.
cleaning up as I cook. no dirty dishes in the counter. opening curtains in the morning and closing them when it gets dark.
Just finished a four-part round with the “health care portal” – it wouldn’t let me log in without a two part authentication via my phone but it kept rejecting the authentication code. A) I do not live with my phone tethered to my side 24/7 and have no wish to, so I had to go hunt my phone down and put in on a charger and B) This is not MY problem, dear health care IT company, it’s yours. Finally got logged in and it turns out to be a bill from 30 months ago that they’ve just “found” and sent to me. All this trouble for a $7 bill. They tried to tack on a $30 “late fee” but then had to admit they’d never sent me the bill in the first place.
My husband leaves lights on like a teenager. His office, the garage when he smokes, the bathroom. Feel like my mother turning them off.
Actually, I got tired of my husband yelling about closing the doors because of the heating and AC bills. So, I got a bunch of those screen door springs and installed them on every door to a room with a window shaker/heater. Then I added covered bricks for door stops. Sometimes we want the doors to stay open!
Anita Beaty says
8 kids and 18 grandkids and I completely understand. If somethings out of place I might scream. Also kid 7 is currently living with us and if she takes my water bottle from the fridge one more time someone in our house will die. Ugh!!! ????
Lara S. says
I do the lights thing too- a la- “seriously if I come into an empty room and find the lights all on ONE MORE TIME someone is losing $1″… then it was $5. Now I just give up and turn off the light. Sigh.
I think we lose capacity as we get older. Like our RAM is full and we can’t process as much so we develop routines and habits to help us keep on top of things. When you’re young you have unlimited RAM and memory overall, so it’s easy. And usually the consequences are less painful if you do miss something. Alas estimated taxes, and TWC filings, and certified service representative payments…etc wait for no man or small business owner.
My father was a marksman and ended up with hearing loss. Repeating every. single. thing. I ever said to him drove me bananas. Guess who played jazz trombone in college and sat with the back of her head two inches from the lead trumpet player’s bell? My mother, on the other hand, had poor vision. She would walk very slowly at night, staring at the ground, and had to raise her glasses up and hold small things up to her eye. I need new glasses. Yeah, that’s the problem… Getting old ain’t for sissies.
I might not have been the most empathetic child.
Getting up at dawn.
Kat in NJ says
Oh gosh, SO, so many parental habits to choose from! I should let my daughter answer this one, but here goes:
I used to hate it when my mother would correct everything I did. I now bite my tongue in order to avoid over-correcting my (22 year old) daughter!
Now, I recognize that my mother is a very damaged person and a bully, so she loved always saying I didn’t know what I was doing. I, on the other hand, really do want to help my daughter avoid making the same mistakes I made. But know what? I have finally realized that we all need to make mistakes in order to learn, and we all have our own way of doing things (and I don’t know everything!)
Fortunately, my daughter and I are very close and we talk when things upset us (instead of just getting mad.) And neither one of us is afraid to say I’m sorry! Win/win! ????
Lisa Lenox says
Something I really struggle with is criticism. My parents constantly critiqued everything about us. I find myself wanting to do that constantly. I do my damndest not to, because I remember how it made me feel. So I don’t tell my child she needs to brush her hair, or dress better, or put on makeup.
Nancy Tice says
I am the opposite. My parents left all dirty dishes in the sink till the end of the day, marinating in now-cold water, awash with slimey pieces of food debris. The they all got washed at the same time, (which also demanded the the dishwasher (me) Reach Thru the Water, let it out, and run hot water) I believe there was some misguided belief about saving water.
I, therefore, after this disgusting, horrific , memorable, experience, am absolutely manic about “no dishes in the sink.” I spend my day yelling, “Who left this dirty dish in the sink? Why does everyone think that the dirty glasses need to “visit” the sink before you put them in the dishwasher? It’s right there, beside the sink, open it and put stuff in!!!”
They also had the hot water on a timer so that it was available only in the morning and evening. i mightily complained that it was like living in a gulag, but to no avail.
OMG, had totally forgotten the hot water timer. My in-laws had that set-up, with a small water heater under the kitchen sink so you could wash breakfast dishes before the water got hot. It was all backed up by a weirdly complicated solar water heating system. It was a nightmare to visit there when the kids were little.
I find myself calling people “dear”, “sweetie”, “honey”. Mostly it’s my high school tutoring students, but sometimes it’s other people. It’s always people YOUNGER than me 🙂 (I’m 61 now). My Mom did this a LOT. Now I understand. She felt affection for them or gratitude to them (like a young salesperson who helped you cheerfully), and she was old enough to get away with showing it a little bit in a sort of grandmotherly way <3.
Things my mom said that I now (sadly) am guilty of saying:
“The living room isn’t your laundry hamper! Come pick up your [socks/underwear/shorts/dress up costume/etc] right now!”
“Toys go in the play room, not in the kitchen”
“If you put anything inside-out in the laundry hamper, I’m throwing it away”
“Look with your eyes, not with your hands”
“If you’re too full for dinner, then you’re too full for dessert”
“One person talking at a time!”
“Chop chop!” (<– when children are taking too long)
and, although it's not a thing she said/says, my mom is a habitual over-packer of things for kids and now I am too. Need a charger? a snack? a wet wipe? a pencil? a ziplock bag? some gum? notepad? another snack? ibuprofen? paper clip? chap stick? sunscreen? tea bag? yeah, I've got it. sigh. Some day I will have a small purse but today is not that day.
Good luck with SPF/DKIM/DMARC, but once it’s set, you won’t have to touch it much.
Putting my keys and glasses in the same spot every time. I used to think I would remember where I put them. After too many days of almost being late to work because I couldn’t find the glasses to find the lost keys, I took up Mom’s habit of having specific spots for them.
Dog doors solve many problems. Of course, that may not work in Texas with the scorpions….
It’s often more a matter of remembering to close them at night to keep out the possums, skunks or raccoons. Unless of course you live in a scorpion haven like HA. I haven’t seen a scorpion since I left Corpus Christi, but my home there was built in an area noted for them, sigh. So I can commiserate with Ilona and Gordon.
Turning off lights in empty rooms & closing doors that’ve been left open. But I’m pretty chilled otherwise (ie I don’t have a house proud bone in my body). This made me laugh though: A child free married couple I know – he posted a pic on Instagram of the neatest airing cupboard I’ve ever seen, full of neatly folded towels, and a caption that said “Did you know there is a wrong way to neatly fold and put away towels?” ????????
Midwestern dads are always walking into a room going “WHO TOUCHED THE THERMOSTAT.” It is me, I am Midwestern dads. Also, leaving the TV on when no one is in the room. my husband will just leave the screen on because in his words “it will turn itself off.” Yes, after it wastes a bunch of electricity!
CC in CA says
I never understood why my mom was so upset when we accidentally left a tissue in our clothes before they were laundered. Now I check every pocket on every piece of clothing for those things. The last culprit was me – I left a Kleenex in my sweatshirt pocket. Tiny little white flecks all over my load of darks.
I have also developed my MIL’s love of warm water. Get water, stick in microwave, consume until cold, repeat.
I started buying Tempo tissues after doing this 3 times in one month. You can get them in the UK, although mainly smaller chemists rather than large chains and I don’t think I’ve ever seen them online. They come through the wash in one piece.
As a kid my dad would constantly be badgering my brother and me about what we want for dinner. It would be 7AM before school and he keeps asking “What do you want for dinner?”.He would also ask it again after school as soon as I walked in the door. It drove me nuts and I learned to absolutely loathe that question, because seriously, why does he have to ask that every single day? Why was that important? I would give him a noncommittal or grumpy answer almost every time.
Fast-forward to when me and my brother are in our early 20s and living together in the big city to save money and all of a sudden meals are something we need to plan for on our own. Pretty quickly “What do you want to eat for dinner?” would be the first thing out of either of our mouths in the morning. The irony doesn’t escape me.
Personally, I eat all the leftover food, usually for breakfast. I never touched leftovers as a child if I could avoid it.
Honestly there were rarely leftovers when I was a kid, but I’ve always loved them for bfast!
The lights…it’s no harder to flip the switch off than it is to turn it on (my husband says living with me is like living with a vampire because I don’t turn on a light if there is any way to see with the natural light)
The television on when nobody is watching
My husband having to always have background noise and my having none
My Mom passed 5 years ago and due to dementia was gone years before that.
I now have decided to derive comfort from those things/habits that I have picked up from her. ????
On a side note, for your kitchen door there is a magnet door screen that slaps together in the middle that allows the animals in and out. I have one on our patio door and another on our travel trailer because I hate dealing with screen doors when carrying stuff.
I’m not sure how good it would be for scorpion control. I live in Canada where they are non-existent. ????
Jeffrey Lemkin says
I make the bed. Every day, in the morning. Your notion of needing habits to get us through All the Things is right on target as far as I’m concerned.
It’s a good habit, it takes very little time and I’m *astonished* that I couldn’t bring myself to do it until recently. The power of habit!
Rinse out the recycling, please! Ex. plastic that had food in it, pop bottles and cans, dog and kitty canned food, etc…I feel as if I am doing this half the day????
Fran W says
with me it’s the opposite, I’m now 52 years and I’m a lot more chill than I was when I was younger. I used to stress about everything being done a certain way, yes even how the clothes were hung on the line.
My life is definitely simpler now than it was then, so maybe it’s a reflection of that rather than my own personal development. (And I’m definitely not turning into my mother – yay LOL)
My dad used to have discussions with my mom and us girls about the things we put into the septic system. I kept wondering why it was an issue; our pipes never blocked up. Now I own a septic system and I’m shocked at some of the things he let us do. (Kitchen garbage disposal?? Not in MY house!)
Also the lawn mower is my baby and I won’t let my husband drive it because he doesn’t love it like I do. (Rocks? I didn’t see any rocks. Ooops…) I’m totally becoming my father.
“I think it’s because as adults, we come to value routines.”
Yeah. Onnaccounta routines are a great substitute for an actual memory.
Not so much a parental habit but my aunt used to be obsessed about us not touching her walls in her house when I was young because she didn’t want her nieces and nephews to mar them with our handprints (??). I’d be going down the stairs (banister on one side and wall on the other) and I can still hear her crying “Don’t touch the walls! Don’t touch the walls!” My parents never told me and my sister to not touch walls in our own house (we weren’t super messy) so we didn’t get it. She finally stopped bleating it when she had her own baby and her clean walls obsession went out the window. Try to reason with a small toddler about not touching walls in your own house hahaha. To this day, I still don’t get it and love to remind her of it.
A Dad Routine
Every time it snowed, my Dad couldn’t just look out the window or through our storm door to gauge the snow level on the (very big) driveway. He HAD to open the door to peer out, even though you could clearly see everything through the glass.
We used to make fun of that every time.
Now, guess what we do when it snows?
The other day I told a driver “God bless your stupid head”. I have become my mother!
my mother used to add an ice cube to her coffee because it was too hot, and i made fun of her for it. now i add an ice cube to my tea if i am out to a restaurant. at home my “coffee” maker i use for tea is set lower than the restaurants so i can drink from my glass right away.
It’s interesting to think about becoming our parents. My siblings tell me that I look like our mother. The folks that knew my parents tell me that I’m just like my mother. It’s not just the words you repeat that they told you or the visible actions like loading the dishwasher. Sometimes it is how you care about other folks and try to do better.
Sarah Richardson says
Loading the dishwasher “incorrectly” drives me bonkers. And yes, I know I’m anal.
Lala Louise says
The ice tray not being filled. it fills me with rage. it’s heatwave time in Australia.
You’ll want cold icy dinks..sensible in the heat, your kidneys will also thank you.
But how can you get nice cold drinks filled with ice cubes if after empting the ice cube tray into its holding container if you don’t refill the bloody ice cube tray. Every afternoon I’m greeted with empty trays and containers. I refill that tray three times during the night to get a decent amount, that afternoon both are empty…
My mother wore a housecoat in the house. If she needed to go out, she’d dress, go out, come back, and put on her housecoat. Another errand? She’d get dressed again. And, OMG, during the lockdown, I pretty much started doing the same thing. I wear a housecoat/robe kind of thing when indoors. I do try hard to do all errands in a single trip, however. Pretty much, when I get home, I’m home.
Second thing – our parents used to take afternoon naps. They weren’t all that old at the time. I don’t do it every day, but I do find myself zoning out in the midafternoon – wake up with a book falling off my lap, or when my Kindle bops me on my nose.
Cindy Milano says
I’ve (very nicely) folded your laundry. Why can’t you PUT IT AWAY?!
Laundry. I have to sort it and wash it. No one else or it’s war. Lol my poor husband has to deal with me. It so ridiculous and I can remember getting in fights with my stepmom over laundry and thinking she was such a control freak.
My daughter recently threw back at me that I left the light on. Says she that leaves the light in all day for the dog.
Barbara Swanson says
Shut the darn cupboard doors when you are done.
I used to think Mom was just anal. Now…it’s me.
1) Tearing up envelopes and correspondence before throwing them away. Into tiny bits. To prevent crooks from stealing important information about me, in the event they go through my trash bins in the dead of night.
2) Checking that the kitchen tap is not dripping. Several times a day. Because we mustn’t waste water.
Can’t leave a sinkful of dirty dishes. Must sweep the floor at the end of each day. These were my mother’s habits, and now they’re mine. Oh, and nobody else can fold the f-ing towels correctly, lol!
I was the black sheep in a family of neat freaks. You are welcome to name my dust bunnies and take them home. Even so, I cannot abide non mealtime stuff on the kitchen or dining room tables. Put the gloves, the newspaper, the mail on the places set aside for them. Or throw them on the floor. I don’t care. Just not the tables. And no, positively no dishes left in the sink. We have a plethora of cabinets, a dishwasher and plenty of hot water, soap and towels. In my mind, I hear my mother laughing
Peta Stuart says
Husband leaves 2 squares of toilet paper on the roll.
Should be punishable.
Kelly M. says
This was such a problem at my office for a while! Like, someone would literally balance a new roll on top of the empty roll but not actually PUT THE NEW ROLL ON THE HOLDER. Or they would leave TWO SQUARES on the roll. Or they would leave an empty roll and then a new roll just… sitting somewhere nearby. The secretary and I started taking pictures of how often this happened because, honestly, WTAF?!
Going into the kitchen and finding 2/3 cupboard doors open. No, they don’t close themselves.
Steve L says
punishment fit crime in my family. u leave door open lock it they can explain y when they beg to be let it. Slam a bedroom door remove it 1 week. (Works great with daughters). Leave lights on start flipping off breakers or put motion sensors in worst areas
Shoes! Shoes through the house! Taking off shoes in the living room, especially in winter! Unless you’re still working (this includes labour intensive/high-focus cleaning) take the shoes off!
Slamming doors. We were required to reopen and close the door if it was slammed. My parents used to remove doors if they were slammed.
No hairbrushes in the kitchen. If I ask you to do something it doesn’t mean wait three days. It means do it within the hour unless you have a reason to do otherwise (like load the dishwasher but not run it until the power is cheaper).
Scheduling. See also: commuting to weekend plans, calendar requirements, making hotel and dinner reservations, making deposits.
I have triplets, so I can’t road trip the way I was trained where you roll up to a roadside mid-tier motel, check to see if they have room, and if so, dump the kids in the pool with a hapless aunt standing guard while you unpack the car and mix the martinis. I need to know the kids and I have a place to sleep.
…committing to weekend plans..
My dad used to turn the light off in my room while I was still in it as a teenager. He would take my glass and put it in the dishwasher when I was not done with it as an adult. Now I am the one who roams the house picking up dirty socks off the floor, turning off TVs that are not being watched, turning off lights in unused rooms and running a grousing commentary. Sadly, my spouse is not especially witty in his comments. He does, however, occasionally pretend to be missing a hand or having an injury to his lower extremities when I inquire of no one in particular how everyone has broken arms or legs and can’t turn anything off or pick up after themselves.
SPF/DKIM are vile things and combine two things I absolutely hate, certificates and breaking email. With certificates if a Ku sneezes somewhere thinking about butterflies on Nexus then a certificate breaks. But just hearing you moan about them, and men with thermostats makes me love you both more! Keep up the fabulous work and don’t let the domain verifications get you down!
In my 30’s & 40’s and on into my 50’s I found myself ‘catastrophizing’. If you didn’t do something, it would certainly have an effect on life as we know it on planet Earth! Like, if you pick up after the dog dirt, you will live a better life and so will they. If you don’t, your parents will be fined or end up in jail and then where will you live??? I am sure there were steps to get to ‘jail’ during the ramp up to surely a catastrophe will happen. But fortunately, I don’t do that any longer. I just sigh a lot, work on my breathing exercises, and maybe just go take a nap, because I am seriously tired of having to think up things! LOL
Leslie Sexton says
I talk to myself, must have dishes washed or in the dishwasher (we didn’t have one growing up, so it was mom or us kids as we got older-dad washed up too).
I like to turn off the heat and air out the house at those magic short fall and spring moments in NW Louisiana. We are both retired AF, so beds get made in the morning. I wish I was as good at housekeeping as my mom was though. I’m terrible, good thing my hubby helps.
For me I see my Mom in the way I get frustrated when I have cooked and now it is time to eat. Suddenly someone has to go to the bathroom, or do a chore before they come to the table. In our family we are polite and wait for everyone. Meanwhile, I am quietly freaking out about the food getting cold.
Growing up in FL, you never leave the dishes in the sink. Standing water is attractant to Palmetto bugs. UGH!
I too mutter the traditional comments about lights and doors. For a northern English person these are ‘It’s like Blackpool illuminations here’ and ‘Were you born in a barn?’ respectively.
JULIA MOORE says
“Take two trips” …I hear it I’m my head every time I carry four heavy grocery bags, my purse, the mail I just picked up, and a full carafe of ice tea while I try to get the dog out if the car.
62 is fine. put a sweater on. then put on some pants!
Carole Evans says
Laundry not been put in the washing machine but dropped on the floor in front of it!!!!
There’s a wonderful poem called “Warning” which was written in 1961 by the late great UK poet Jenny Joesph. It’s about letting things go and having fun and it always brings me joy. Highly recommend reading it when being responsible feels like too much of a bother (also, who doesn’t look fabulous metaphorically wearing purple?).
The lights on in an empty room annoys me. Worst of all, my wife does it all the time…LOL (we’re empty nesters). The other one is the thermostat. As far as dishes are concernerd, I AM the dishwasher 😀
The curse of childhood, we all grow up to become our parents!
Its the immersion heater with us.
My parents patrolled that like it some high security facility. It was worth more than your life to touch the boiler no matter how cold it was or you’d end up with miserly insanity on your hands. We had the dials up and down depending on the time of day, what room it was, if someone was expected.
This house has one of those remote control thingies and the dial has gone blank so I can’t control it and it has it’s own ideas about which rooms need heated and which need your breath to be condensing when the radiator is set to max. So I can’t be as I was raised to patrol the sodding thing to make sure it’s only on when it’s absolutely needed. Does my head in.
I have a blanket obsession because of them, cold, cover yourself in a blanket, still cold, lie on it too and I’ll wrap you up like a sausage roll. Still cold, have another one and a jumper. Are you dressed? Is all of you dressed? Hmm, hot water bottle? I’ll put the heating on. Have more blankets (just bought another one today, it’s speckled).
Cost of living crisis here in the UK has brought it back hard.
Close the doors, your letting the heat out.
Put that light off and open the curtains, let the natural light in.
Why is the light on in here when no one is in here, that TV better not be blaring with no one watching it. With the modern twist, how can you be on the computer and the TV. Pick one (bonus for Tamatoa from Moana impressions), wait I’m picking one and you get the other.
Close those curtains and tuck the bottoms in, keep the heat in.
Don’t leave your dirty dishes there.
Pick up your schoolbag/shoes, they are causing a trip hazard.
Stop running around in your underwear is also popular here, although my parents never had to do that with me.
I will however explain my reasons for getting them to do things rather than saying “because I said so”. At the 3rd repeat of why you must do a thing (seriously why must I repeat myself?) becomes “because I say so” or this household is not a democracy, its a dictatorship shared between your Dad and I. Or Behold, I am the dictator and do as I command (bonus for megatron impression, at least in my head).
Sorry it occurs to me to ask, did anyone else ever get told not to use the last of the milk?
I’ve my own children now and I’m still wondering, who is to use the last of the milk? When could I use the last of the milk? Why is it for every container of milk, often there was another there but I still couldn’t use it. The rules were strange and confusing.
I do not say do not use the last of the milk, I do ask to be told if it is the last of the milk or close to the last of the milk so I can get more. Children who do not tell me get made to come buy the milk with me. They hate it.
Kelly M. says
The dishwasher has to be loaded a certain way. A very specific way. The dishes should not be put in there all willy-nilly and knocking against each other because THAT IS HOW THEY GET CHIPPED. And don’t crowd the silverware because then it doesn’t get clean. And that dish there isn’t dishwasher safe so quit trying to put it in the dishwasher!
(Note that we don’t have kids so all the above is generally voiced in muttered imprecations directed at my very helpful, very bad-at-loading-dishwashers husband.)
I’ve also been sounding very grandparent-y in recent harangues about how all the restaurants have raised the price of unsweetened iced tea – the CHEAPEST NON-WATER BEVERAGE – to $3 and dammit, I’m not paying $3 for a glass of iced tea. (And yes, I’m well aware that they do this to delay having to raise prices on food menu items, because people pay a lot less attention to the price of non-alcoholic beverages than the price of food, and I know I can get around it by ordering water, but my middle-aged brain just can’t seem to help shifting into full-on grandparent-mode about it.)
Ona Jo-Ellan Bass says
Saying things I swore I would never say to my kids, such as “Because I said so,” and “You’ll understand that when you are older.” Similar, but not precisely on point, feeling guilty because I slept in or called in sick to work.
Melinda Johnson says
I definitely understand the lights, but the one that made me feel like my mother was when I started getting super irritated at my son using so many cups and leaving them all over the place.
The first time I said “What is that crap you are listening to? That’s not music!” I’m pretty sure I stopped and looked around for my Dad – who has been gone since 2001. It’s bitter-sweet isn’t it? It reminds me of him but also that he’s gone. And my kids definitely listen to “music” that’s crap 🙂
As for the lights – that was my husband’s pet peeve. The light in the laundry room was always on because we used that little room for kitchen storage and it also has the door to the garage.
I fixed that problem by having him replace the light switch with a motion sensor. Now it turns on when you enter, and turns off automatically. I’ll bet my parents would have loved to have that technology!
I found myself repeating my dad. “Shut the door! Are you trying to heat/cool the entire neighborhood?”
Shawna of the BDH says
My mother was a grammar (fill in your own horrible controlling person or group). She would pretend not to hear you until you said it perfectly, and once my niece didn’t say anything for an hour and when my mom asked her why she was so quiet, she said “Because I don’t want to have to say it over again”. I was not as bad as my mother, but I can’t abide certain mistakes of grammar, and will still force my 27 year old son to change it. His wife is speaking in her second language, and she is better at it than he is, for heaven’s sake!
Yes I’m firm withturn the lights off.
Also close the toilet lid. Germs spead more otherwise. (5sq ft radius)
Close the cabinet doors. No I don’t care which cabinet, ALL of them. If you’re not in it then close it.
Maura Lawson says
For me it’s the lights and the thermostat. I follow everyone in my family around the house turning out lights. The other day I made my 12 year old come back upstairs and turn off the bathroom like and I had a moment. My dad used to do that to us and it made us crazy and now it’s me????. And I won’t turn the heat up for anything, as I sit on my couch with a blanket on and the thermostat at 64 when it’s 25 degrees outside. And my kid is complaining that it’s cold while sitting there in a pair of shorts????
Ahh, lights not like????
My parents would be 97 this year and were frugal in lots of ways, but our lights were always on all over the house, pretty much 24/7. Us kids all lived at home into our mid 30s and I was discussing the electric bill with friends and they were shocked to find that our bill was actually a fair amount lower than their bill because they were big on turning lights off. Lightbulbs are actually cheap to run, what raises your electric bill is having older inefficient appliances and a tv and ac unit in every room like they did. They insisted lights were the biggest part of the bill, but I looked up what the electric company was charging and calculated that if they left a 60 watt bulb on for 24 hours for a whole month, it would have been about 23¢
I don’t know that I picked them up from parents, so much as my grandparents. Because when the back door is open for too long, I growl in my best imitation of Grandpa, “I’m not paying to heat the whole neighborhood!”
Come to think of it, though, since I don’t have children, I do occasionally tell my younger dog that if she keeps making that face it will get stuck like that and everyone will be too afraid to pet her. But being a dog and not a human teen, she’s so happy with the attention that it works!
Inherited parental habit?
Refusing to spend money on things like $5 fancy coffee when I can make it at home (with good coffee beans). My dad (to this day) can’t understand the idea of spending money that way. Fast food is off the table (literally) too
Melissa D says
“Why is the kitchen light on?”
“You had to WALK PAST THE DISHWASHER to put this in the sink! Just put it in the dishwasher!”
“Does nobody else notice when thr faucet isn’t turned off all the way? Is it really just me?”
“Oh my God, will you get your dirty socks out of the damn living room??”
That was yesterday. ????
If you are too sick to go to school, you don’t need to go anywhere else. Rest up so you’re well enough for school tomorrow.
It was my mother’s mantra and I was shocked when those words came out of my mouth!
But I was so proud when my college daughter told me she wasn’t sure she could make it to her great uncle’s birthday party since she had been too sick to go to classes for the last two days. ok
Mary Cruickshank-Peed says
I apparently tell the same story over and over. The only people who call me on it are my oldest son and my youngest granddaughter. My son says “mom. you told me.”. My granddaughter says the punchline before I get there.
I told them that at least I don’t talk to them in the morning and then call them in the afternoon and tell them everything they told me in the morning like it’s news. I expect I’ll do that when I’m 80 tho.
Liz C. says
My wife and I don’t have children, but we definitely have each other.
Thoughts like “We’re you raised in a Barn?” are left unvoiced; I don’t have a death wish.
I try to control my craziness. I channel my father when I see lights left on in a room. I force myself to remember that we have LED bulbs that are a minimal drain. I turn them off and say nothing, proving that old dogs, etc.
Consider screens for the kitchen and patio doors. You may be heating the great outdoors, but the scorpions will stay put.
My mom used to say things like “it’s almost 6:30” at 6:10AM. It drove me nuts when I was a teenager. I’ve caught myself doing that when I want people to get moving…which undoubtedly was her intent.
Have you heard of pregnancy fog? I seems we get to go through this again around menopause. cut yourself som slack as brain sharpness is attached to our hormones, and that soup is affected by everything. Thang in there you are doing a great job with everything from raising your children to keeping hordes of us entertained.
My Dad would save old lumber, nails, and screws. As a teenager I was always like: OMG this stuff could never be used for anything…… why would you save nails, just get new ones…..you are never going to find a nut for that orphan screw, just toss it. Now, in my 50s, I am like: hmmmmm…. could make a bird house out of part of that. That nail is not so bent and saves me a trip to the hardware store. And I better save that screw (or nut) because I might just need it later.
Kim Kingston-Durgin says
My mother made a “Ahghrmf” sort of noise when a minor annoyance hit her day – stuff like the kitchen scissors are out of place and must be found ASAP. My grandmother made the same sort of noise for the minor annoyances in her day, and I know I make it and my sister makes it too. The other day I heard my 28 year old daughter make the same noise. So, is it genetic or learned behavior?
I personally find it comforting that that Mother and Grandmother live on in in their descendants.
The most sanity saving thing I’ve ever purchased are automatic switches for the bathrooms, laundry, and pantry. If the lights are on longer than one minute without movement, they switch off automatically! Additionally, it turns out it’s very handy to have the lights turn on automatically when your arms are full of laundry. Super easy to do and only takes about 10 mins after the first couple. I also put LED bulbs EVERYWHERE so it bugs me a lot less when other random lights are left on. I think the most parenty thing I do these days is just chant about the time and the value of arriving 5 minutes early, in case of traffic. “We’re late! We’re late! Let’s go!” *30 mins later* “Mom, why did you say we’re late? We’re exactly on time?” “Yes, well…we got very lucky with the lights, but we would have been late if we got stuck at the railroad crossing!” xD
It’s actually a habit my husband has that drives me nuts. The tv must always be on when we are home and not sleeping. Even if he’s out working on something in the garage it must be on. It can be on mute but not off. When I finally questioned him about it he simply stated that his mom always leaves the tv on. So I just let it go….
Anneke B says
My most serious “I have become my mother gripe”…
I have just spent an hour and a half cooking dinner in an 85F+ kitchen.
I told everyone in the house what time said dinner would be ready.
I finish cooking on time as planned (woo me).
People are walking through the kitchen as I’m busy plating up.
And then I STILL have to call them to come eat, wait for everyone to wash their hands and get ready and very often hear the “oh, I’m not hungry right now, I’ll eat later” response because SOMEONE thought having a sandwich an hour before dinner time was a good idea.
And they wonder why women kill… (just joking… mostly… ;p)
ELIZABETH WILLIAMS says
Dishes in the sink do not bother me..as long as they are rinsed off. People putting goopy dishes in the dishwasher make me nuts. Also, after I clean the kitchen, and the solid BLACK granite countertops are gleaming, I want to bash anyone who spills food, water, coffee, leaves crumbs, etc, and leaves spots on the damn BLACK granite. Yes…I absolutely hate that color granite. And the way my husband shakes his hands after he washes them at the sink…spots everywhere. Do I yell? No. I just growl and reach for the kitchen towel.
ELIZABETH WILLIAMS says
This was my mom too. She hated a messy countertop too. Lol. Even while cooking she cleaned up any mess as she went along. Something I am still trying to get my hubby to do after 40 years of marriage. Never say die. Lol
Vacuuming, every other day, super neat folding of clothes- don’t iron but know how.
Keeping the thermostat down. Hello to the parental voices in my head! Lol
I totally agree with the common threads (both funny and frustrated) in others’ posts here. Sands through the hourglass, days of our lives… BDH as a community – we must all be getting older together.
I was very, very ill for a long time as a child, and my mother used to stay close when we went for walks along the cliffs above the oceans, especially on the days I wasn’t very steady… just in case.
These last few years, I take her for walks in the fresh ocean air during my visits. She’s older now, and her spine isn’t strong, and I catch myself holding back beside her… just in case.
Then this summer, my tall, strong teenaged son took me walking in the Orkneys, and as we neared the Old Man of Hoi – the wind was fierce, and my ankle gave a little. He caught me without even breaking his stride – and I suddenly realised he’d been staying close… just in case.
I feel strangely fortunate.
I complain all the time. Too many lights on, not replacing the toilet paper roll, no cap on the toothpaste. I’m aware. Still, I can’t stop myself. I also say things exactly the way my mom used to say them. “Clear with your left [hand]; hang with your right.”
My mom passed away in 2015. Sometimes I embrace the Velmaisms because I’m channeling her. It’s nice to have irrational moments that make you feel connected with the people who loved you most.
One other thing. My mom couldn’t abide people sitting around while she did housework. I did not understand this as a teenager. Now, it is so irksome to have people just hanging out when there is work to do. It doesn’t matter how much work they may have already completed. If I’m cleaning you need to clean with me.