ILONA ANDREWS

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Learn Business English with Pancakes!

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According to Amazon Germany, Beast Business is now the top-selling title in the “Learn Business English” category.

Embracing Augustine Montgomery as a romantic lead assassin with illusion magic? That’s so last week. We must look ahead to Pancakes, the Educator.

In the spirit of lifelong learning, below are some of the advanced Business English phrases, taken directly from Augustine and Diana’s new novella, helpfully recontextualized for all your high-stakes professional environment needs.

1. “She could’ve played a princess in a medieval drama, the kind who had suffered an injustice and needed a strong ally. The kind who would inspire the audience to root for her.
It was a front. Augustine was absolutely sure of it. If he became an enemy, Diana Harrison would attempt to kill him without a moment’s hesitation.”

This is a classic example of initial stakeholder assessment. At times, the narrative is so persuasive that even if you see the manipulation, you step forward anyway.

That’s just business.

2. “Besides, he had a feeling that spending time with Diana Harrison promised the kind of insight into animal mages no amount of background research could provide.”

In Business English, this is referred to as hands-on data acquisition.

Of course, Augustine’s dedication humbles us all, but please don’t let yourselves be intimidated. He has executive-level experience, after all. Much insight, very animal mages. So priceless. All work, work, work. Nothing to do with medieval princesses with golden eyes.

3. “The illusions don’t have to touch me. If you are unarmed, and I’m holding a gun pointed at your chest, you could kill me without lifting a finger. You could make me run into a solid wall. You could walk me off a cliff. You could herd me into traffic, or trick me into hanging myself from the power lines.”

This passage illustrates why hostile intimidation tactics are generally discouraged in professional settings where Business English is used.

Such psychological dominance often leads to tragic follow-up meetings, regulatory scrutiny and reputational harm. Allegedly.

4. “Augustine was looking at her, and his eyes were so warm. “Why is it I tell you all my secrets?”
“Because you like the way I look draped over a tree branch?”

This is the gold standard of successful negotiation outcomes.

When you have reached this stage of lowered defenses, leverage loses strategic relevance, and proprietary information flows freely. Some preliminaries may follow, but you’re sharing the table as equals. At weddings, even.

We here at House Andrews hope this brief overview helps you on your Business English journey. Impressively, almost no part of what I wrote is accurate.

For our next lesson, we will tackle asserting boardroom dominance with a well-placed “Barsa. Barsa. Barsa.“

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Comments

  3. “For our next lesson, we will tackle asserting boardroom dominance with a well-placed “Barsa. Barsa. Barsa.“”

    At first I read that as “bedroom dominace,” which produced an even scarier image than the original.

  6. I am slowly working my way through Beast Business, (I’m usually an audio girlie!) and enjoying it very much. Thank you for the summary for the business side of the beasties! 😀

  9. Oh, this is AWESOME.

    I wish I had known this earlier — could have totally justified reading this at work.

    “Oh, what am I reading? It’s the latest in pedagogical approaches to teaching business English . . . incredibly innovative.”

  10. Haha! You really have to wonder how Amazon comes up with some of these lists! I absolutely loved the book, except for the part where it was far too short! Looking forward to the audiobook. I love listening to HA novels while working out!

    And speaking of listening, I just stumbled over the GA version of Wildfire on Hoopla. I somehow missed when it was released last month! It’s proving to be excellent company on my commute!

  11. Great Post! Funny thing is, I did learn a good deal of my English by reading fantasy books. My mother didn‘t really see that as great literature, but I convinced her that reading fantasy in the original English language would be good for my marks in school.

    • We learn any language best, even our own, by reading what we want to read in it, or hearing it read. Let kids pick out their own books, and they’ll want to read them, or have those books read to them. Good for your mom for letting you do your own thing.

  16. Bwahahahaha!

    Reading this while sitting in my government-provided office reminds me why I left the corporate world years ago.

  19. BWAHAHA, thanks for the laugh! And big congrats to House Andrews – when I looked a day or two after launch, Beast Business was #3 on Amazon’s top 100 list!!!

  20. Amazing! I think when I next run an improv exercise of communicate only using one word, Im going to pick Barsa

  21. Lovely novella! I love the dynamics between Augustine and Diana…and how everything happened is riveting to say the least! Another story where,” Here, Kitty Kitty!” would work! I don’t do spoilers, so I will close it…for now…🤣

  23. LMAO!!! I read this on my break and almost spat my sip of Gingerale out on my keyboard. Laughing while drinking almost was the end of me lol

  24. There is no such thing as Bad Categorization in Amazon Lists.

    First is First.

    (Is this, itself, a Business English learning experience? Basra, and out)

  27. The metadata nerd in me wants to look under the hood and check who added LAN005020 or CJPD to the list 🙈😂

  32. … “How should we tag this?”
    “Learn English Business – it’s in English and business is in the title.”
    😂 I know this is probably AI nonsense but it’s still hilarious.

  35. Unrelated, but on my third read of Beast Business – is Phillip Dunwoody Ragnar’s date in Ruby Fever?

  36. Bless you for sharing this blog post. I am German, and I can attest that your lesson in Business English is well appreciated by my cousins in Wiesbaden, with whom I shared this wisdom.

    I giggled so much I could not breath.

    • Can u check the German Amazon, Learn Business English category and tell us if there are other books on the list, pls? I have curiosity in me, which, as we know, is famously bad for cats. (Big ‘cat eyes)

      • Just checked in the app (I’m German), the are 2 other fiction works in the first ten bestsellers in “Business-Englisch”… #6 “Business Casual” by B.K. Borison and #7 “The Business Trip” by Jessie Garcia…
        The AI probably like the word “business”…

  38. It’s been a week since the release and Amazon has you listed at

    Best Sellers Rank: #56 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
    #1 in Magic Romance eBooks
    #2 in Paranormal Romance (Books)
    #3 in Romantic Fantasy (Kindle Store)

    Impressive or should I say BARSA!

  41. Hahahahahaha! This is awesome!
    Congratulations on your successful branching out into the business self-help market!

  42. loved this book so much. every moment was a thrill and it’s so wonderful that Augustine has meet his match.

  43. Bhahahaha! Oh, well done Mod. R! At least BB is number 1 in its new category. I mean, possibly the only thing, but u never know. Barsa barsa. Baaaaarrrrsssaaaaaa, barsa barsa. Barsa!

  46. Well, its true. I’m german, happy member of the almighty BDH and learned a lot through my reading sprees.
    Its so bad that I can’t stand the books in german now. They’re much MUCH better in english =)

    • Hello, I’m French and I totally relate to you about reading only in English ! No matter how good the translation in French, it still lacks something that only the original language can offer. And then there are the translations where blatant mistakes create some cognitive dissonance…

    • Same (a german who reads in general now nearly all in English, it sounds wrong in a way to read books by an English speaking author in German)

      And way too often are meaning changing mistakes in translations / dubbings, no matter if its about books, movies, or TV-Series, what I really do not like

  49. I concur with the findings of this assessment. We should progress to the next matters on the list:
    – Will we see more of Kitty?
    – How to apply for internships at MII?

    – Any other business?

  50. As a german Horde-Member, I would like to thank House Andrews for the very educational book on the English business language! Looking forward to enhance my vocabulary 😄

  51. You forgot the strategic importance of a fart gun to all negotiations.

    Seriously, that is hilarious.

  52. Maybe we should check in other countries how amazon lists that delightfully informative book
    Thanks for the laugh, I was chuckling all through it and got nasty looks from other in the “quiet” part of the train ( for people who don’t understand this, some trains in my country have a “quiet” part where you can journey in peaceful silence, with no noisy teens, no arguing couples,… normally bliss, unless you’re half choking on your laughter)

  53. Nr. 1 in Business-Englisch lernen (learning business english)
    Nr. 2 in Fremdsprachige Fantasy & Science Fiction (foreign language fantasy &…)
    Nr. 9 in Übernatürliche Liebesromane (supernatural romence/love novel)

    OMG, too funny

  55. Well, the word business is in the title and it is an English book… lol

    Typical German amazon. For a while, an author’s medieval romance novels on amazon (print on demand) kept being listed as clothing, sizes deciding which volume you’d get.

  58. What a wonderful way to start my Friday (although, alas, not in Australia).

    🙂

    Thank you!

    I can now go to work, comforted my the knowledge that my time has been spent profitably learning new points in business…
    🤣

    (Basra…)

  59. Ok that is incredibly funny! Thanks for the great start to my day! Of course I have the dregs of a head cold and it did make me cough laugh 🤣

  60. Ada and Elias could give Montgomery and Diana a run for their money.
    One vote for The Inheritance as #1 for Business Negotiations and Strategic Tactics in the English language category. ….would that be a different category, or a sub?
    Thanks for both delightful entries! Barsa, barsa.

  61. I need to use ‘barsa, barsa, Barsa’ in my daily life more. I think it would fit so many situations and circumstances.

  62. I almost choked on my morning coffee, then almost fell out of my chair laughing. Barsa! Barsa! BARSA!

  63. As a German, I have to admit, this is just embarrassing! 😖 What does the Amazon algorithm think of us??

  64. I’m laughing so hard reading the post and the comments. So glad I work from home when laughing this hard. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    Business English…uh. When Panthercakes decides to have a class, let us know. 😉

    Barsa, barsa, barsa!

  66. Just seeing the highlighted portion of the listing cracked me up. And the rest of the post, even more so.

    One of my favorite lines, from the short story, was when Tia says something to the effect of, Better question: Why am *I* not doing an internship?

    If Augustine ever gets burned out in his current line of work, opening a business school could replace some of that income.

  67. Beast Business was a joy to read and satisfied many entreaties I made to the authors regarding ‘must have’ future books. Yes, I would like more of Augustine met his amorous match is supremely satisfying. Ditto the add ons at the end – although slightly bummed Steven Jiang rebuffed Arabella’s overtures, am glad she made the effort and that instead he became a mentor to her. So that scratched one itch BUT will there be something in future between Arabella and Mikhail? Please say yes, or at least write a novella, something manageable, say 25,000 words? Hehe
    Now am off to read The Inheritance. Thank you times infinity for writing these wonderful novels, I love reading and re-reading them so much. Live Long & Prosper.

  69. This reminds me of the ‘Inigo Montoya’s guide to networking success’ meme:
    “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. Prepare to die”:
    1) Polite Greeting;
    2) Name;
    3) Relevant personal link;
    4) Manage expectations.

  70. “… helps you on your Business English journey…” does this mean there will be a Pancakes sequel? PLEASE, I need more! Barsa, Barsa!

  71. Only House Andrew can make us root for a former “villain” turned “hero”

    First Hugh and now Augustine. Well-done. Well done!!

    Other writers have tried, all have failed… i.e., Boaz Pritchard (Hailey Edwards) and Rick La Fleur (Faith Hunter).

    • From the Hugh we wanted killed just so we could dance in his proverbial ashes to the Hugh I may actually love a smidge more than Curran (for shame!), was an absolute ret-con masterpiece. No part of it failed.

      I’ve never seen it done better. It was just a master stroke!

  72. Reading between the lines in Beast Business and “Arabella saves the day”, Arabella needs to grow up and develop some more before she’d be ready for her own series. Meanwhile, the years in between can be filled in by wonderful shorter pieces such as this one!

    • Let us agree to disagree. Arabella’s finished her general education. An M.A. is enough. She’s matured nicely. Plus, for me at least, she’s the most relatable character in the series. Yes I love the others, but Arabella is #1!!

      Hopefully, she’ll get her own story someday.

  73. Hahahahha! Thank you, Mod R! Such gold. I had been hoping, with all my challantry, that we might get an update on our purchasing power as the horde. Like waiting to be told my team placed well at the enthusiasm Olympics. When I saw the post with the Amazon stars I thought, “this is it!” Little did I know what we had truly accomplished.

  74. ahahaha, this is fantastic! I almost rolled od the couch laughing. Only one thing left to say;

    Barsa. Barsa, Barsa!

  75. I am a business major and have to say this course would have made me study the hardest ever. 🙂
    Universities have truly missed an opportunity to elevate Business English courses! Happy that House Andrews is filling the gap.

  76. “Hands on data acquisition.”

    *snort giggle*

    Yep. He’s gonna attempt to get closer to the scary-sexy panther lady “for science.”

  80. I know this is a joke but it is also partially true. I’m an American who thought she had a BIG vocabulary; yet, I had to look up words when reading “Beast Business.” It was an amazing novella and I loved it! So, I feel that reading your novels seems like a fun way to learn English. For example, munificent was a new word to me that I learned from Augustine Montgomery, Prime/Educator! LOL!🤣

  82. That is a way to earn new readers, too.
    Choose a title the KI sorts in a different category.
    Let‘s rock the business world!

  83. I laughed my *ss off reading this post.

    It almost killed* me. (*Context: I’ve been sick, ain’t I?)

    Seriously. You should warn people who might be afflicted with a serious cough — lung infection — that reading this post could, quite possibly, kill them.

    Business English Lessons Requirements:
    • German to English (American) dictionary (hardcover or digital)
    • Latest copy of “Beast Business” a.k.a. Pancakes’ story, Illona Andrews, author
    • Sense of Humor

  89. Thank you for Beast Business. It really fleshed out the Montgomery-Diana snippets. I especially enjoyed the crew you are building for Arabella (at least that is how I read it).

    And you have done it again. You wrote a few sentences about Diana’s brother Blake and now I am invested. You are the masters of character building with just a few words. I have a line sketch of Blake in my head and now I am itching to have it fully filled in and color added. You locked me in with the pack of wolves.

  90. Hi, I just wanted to congratulate you both on another excellent novella! Augustine and Diana…. I had no idea that was on the cards and I love love love them. Please do a follow up with them …

  92. This post made me cry, I was cackling so hard. Thank you for that educational interlude of ‘Business English’ courtesy of House Andrews.