Today I am the sad girl in the photo. I’ll just take my imaginary stuffed lion, hang my head, and go sit in a corner somewhere.
Honestly, last few weeks have been rough. Stuff happened. Pets were sick and injured. Cars were flooded. I have to go to a medical specialist on 29th for a diagnostic procedure I wish I didn’t need. I am now on a strict bland diet. On one hand, I can’t eat anything in the nightshade family, meaning tomatoes, onions, potatoes, and bell peppers are out. Nothing spicy, nothing sour, nothing greasy. I also can’t eat anything too carb-heavy, because I am trying to lose weight. So far I succeeded in lowering my blood pressure to 106/76 and gaining 2 lbs of muscle. I can do push ups, but I’ve achieved no actual weight reduction to speak of. Also I dropped the 12 lb ball on my face, drove my glasses into the bridge of my nose, and now it hurts. Then the ARC thing was just the cherry on top of the cake.
I’m feeling so worn out. We have one scene left in Sweep of the Blade, and we need to finish it so we can move on to other small edits, but I’ve just ran out of gas. I don’t even know why. I took a break for most of April. I should be running full speed, and instead I don’t even have fumes left. All I am able to do is to go to the gym 3 times a week. All I want to do is to sit on the couch and watch TV. And possibly play Empyrion. I built a base on an ocean planet.
And I have to go to the store today to buy some fish. Because I can eat fish. Oy.
So I am a sad potato. Gordon sent me some yarn sales, so apparently I can’t hide my sad mood from my husband. I’m still watching various dramas, and I’ve been calling him Huang Shah for fun, and sometimes oppa when I am on the K-drama kick. He puts up with it.
Let’s see, so something interesting that happened so I don’t end on a depressing note. On Sunday, Kid 2 went to San Antonio to work as a bartender at a beer festival to pick up some extra money. She came back on Monday. So I’m sitting on the patio, talking to BFF Jeaniene – by the way, the next Veritas book is the bomb – and drawing ugly grapes with water color paint, when Kid 2 sticks her head out the door.
Kid 2: Mom, don’t be mad.
ME: Cops, pregnant, or sick?
Kid 2: Surprise turtle.
Me: What?
Kid 2, holding a small plastic box with some rocks at the bottom and a tiny terrified turtle inside: I played a carnival game at the end of my shift and I shot all of the balloons. I wanted a stuffed toy and they gave me a turtle and wouldn’t take it back.
BFF Jeaniene: Bwahahahahaha!
Me: Stop it.
BFF Jeaniene: Dogs, cats, a tarantula, and now a turtle. Are you building an arc?
So, surprise turtle now has a huge tank with water and rocks and a filter.
We are optimistic for survival, although carnival animals almost never live. Also, Jeaniene, don’t read this part, it will make you angry. Unfortunately, while in California, Kid 1 has witnessed live baby turtles being made into key chains at a carnival, and that scarred all of us for life. So Kid 2 felt obligated to save the turtle no matter what. We will see what happens.
Have to go to the store. Have to write the stupid scene. Have to finish. ::borrows K-drama vocabulary:: Fighting! Ok, have to go now.
Wow, that’s an awful lot to deal with! I have no suggestions to offer, only hopeful thoughts to send your way that things will improve, and soon.
And kudos for taking in that poor little turtle. For however long it lives now, it will be safe and well looked after.
Yucky. What a rough week. I follow a diet called the auto-immune protocol elimination diet. It is just as fun as it sounds. But. But. I feel better when I do it. Which is something. If you have to do this low-carb, no nightshade thing for a while, it might be helpful to investigate. Facebook has groups for it that have a lot of recipes and ways to make it more interesting. I hope you feel better soon, no matter what.
So many people are having extensive food reactions now. I hope you find your answers soon. Maybe you can take a weekend away with some yarn and a book while sitting on a beach. I wish you lots of sunshine and beautiful moments to help you get through!
Oh, honey. Any day you wake up not dead is a good one. Consider yourself hugged.
Fighting ❣ I loved your question (cops, pregnant or sick? ) and I’m glad that Eugene has a great family now (another reason to be proud of Kid 2) Best wishes for all ?
Hmmm fish. There’s a great recipe that I use (I’m Indian and from a part of India where we eat ALOT of fish) and it essentially involves marinating the fish in tumeric (half a teaspoon to a teaspoon), some garlic-ginger paste, along with half a tablespoon of oil (I suggest any healthy oil you have, also amount of oil depends on size of your fish, though fish has its own oils so you generally don’t need much), small amount of salt for taste (up to your discretion) and then sticking it in the oven to bake. It’s healthy and surprisingly tasty without being a full on spice assault on the taste buds. Perhaps you’ll like it?
I hope you feel better ><, sending positive vibes your way!
I will try this…sounds delicious! Thanks for sharing 🙂
This is great recipe. Turmeric is very good to hear inflammation auto immune. Also trader Joe’s has ghee.
I hope you like it! I forgot to add, squeeze lemon on top for a slight garnish!
All I’m going to say is hugs (lots of them).
I think you deserve a pat on the back for being upright and conscious. The bright side….all that is behind you!! Except the diagnostic thing. Can you eat shrimp? If yes, now you have an excuse to go crazy with it.
Did you name the turtle? How about Franklin? Or Missy? **snickers**
Hugs to you.
In a previous comment, Ilona named “Eugene” ?♀️
I missed that. Thanks.
Surprise turtle! Based on the previous carnie trauma I totally understand Kid 2 saving the turtle. Now….. does it have a name yet? If not, could I humbly suggest Vern?
Yeah, I understand feeling numb: that’s what I call battle fatigue. It is really hard to go back to being cheerful and full of energy all the time even with the gym( talking about me). All I can say is this too shall pass. Hang in there and know that you are not alone. It doesn’t give you your energy back nor your will but just knowing that other people lived through this can help. One day at a time and fix yourself one goal per day, doesn’t have to be big but you have to dot it.
Good luck, thinking about you,
Carmen
Yikes! I’m sure nothing I say will lift you up. I guess just keep on keeping on. And venting helps! I feel your pain with the turtle. We have three fish (when we got decent fish they died so we got feeder fish and they are still alive and keep getting bigger and bigger) – we might need a bigger tank. We also have three cats. And my daughter came home with a gecko a few months ago. Her name is Toothless. She had no tail and is on the process of growing it back. She’s actually pretty cute. I’m hoping we are done with the animals. Anyway, sending positive thoughts your way!
Love the turtle, kudos to kid for “saving” it! I’ve been there, when the energy is so zapped that absolutely nothing is possible or feasible in any way (due to various circumstances in my life). Do you know what saves my sanity in those times, yep your books. Because when life is not good, it’s good to read about good people!!
I wish you a good day. Fairy wand taps your head. Pixie dust sprinkles over you.
Please don’t talk down to yourself. When I hear I hear someone say “I should be doing xxx” I remind them that they ‘should’ be doing what THEY feel they need to do. Whenever we say should, it is usually because of outside pressures. You know your limits and you know what expectations you want to meet. Don’t let SHOULD come into the picture. PS tell Kid 2 thank you for rescuing the turtle.
Please ensure good hand washing after turtle handling. They can carry salmonella.
Also there are a lot of ‘quakery’ tests for food allergy/intolerance – please avoid
https://www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/Tests/allergytests.html
https://www.foodallergy.org/life-with-food-allergies/food-allergy-101/diagnosis-testing/unproven-diagnostic-tests
https://www.foodallergy.org/life-with-food-allergies/food-allergy-101/diagnosis-testing/unproven-diagnostic-tests
https://www.jaci-inpractice.org/article/S2213-2198(17)30704-3/fulltext
sorry about duplicate – meant to have this one instead
May your funk pass and your energy rise. May your smile emerge and health improve. May you pick three yarns that you have always wanted. May the turtle live a happy life.
Sending you good karma, best wishes and big hugs.
Sending hugs. That is all I got.
I just want to hug you and make you soup. {{{ hugs }}}
Take care of yourself! But, it makes me mad when animals are carnival prizes. They’re kept in pretty awful conditions (goldfish in tiny plastic bags in rooms with little air conditioning) and the people who win them are rarely looking for a new pet. Why can’t they just give away stuffed animals? A stuffed turtle would be cute.
When I was little , I had a turtle. His name was Smithers. Don’t remember why “Smithers.”
I got bored after a few
months, and my mom took care of him. They bonded over opera. Whenever my mom played opera, Smithers ran around his tank and stretched his head up to hear the opera.
He liked opera. Most of my pets liked classical music . My one eyed black cat Sybil would sing with me when I played the piano. Not my mom , just me. Sybil liked the doll song from “Tales of Hoffman.”
Sorry you are having such a rough time. I keep losing things, my glasses, the cover for a dvd, a book I started reading. I look , but I don’t know where I put them down.
Work is horrible, people are out and I am trying to do their work and my work. So far I have been cursed in both Spanish and Greek this week. Coming in early and staying late and things are still crazy. And since next week is short, it will be worse.
I just read Iron and Magic , I think for the third time.
Every time , I like Hugh more .And I hated him
in the beginning .
Looking forward to more stories with Hugh and Elara.
Some weeks are just harder ,you just have to persevere through them.
Be safe out in Texas, and tornado alley.
I LOVE the idea of an opera loving turtle. Thank you for that.
Carnival turtle looks smug. He knows he hit the lottery!
I just wanted to say I get it. My husband was recently diagnosed with gastroparesis, so no spicy, no onions, nothing that might make you gassy, and small meals or grazing only. We work out every day or he’s violently sick. Dealing with diet restrictions are emotionally and physically draining. Watch something happy, cheesy or whatever makes you smile. I personally liked boys over flowers (k drama) for sheer cheese, but irregular at magic high school or yowamushi pedal were also good fun. I just finished my arc in 4 hours and want to read it again already. I’m sad I’m done and there’s not more, but now I’m going to probably re-read the entire series for clues on Caesar.
Not that this will help, but I completely understand the feeling. I recognize that awful diet as I’ve been on it for the last two years. First for gastritis, later on for acid reflux. Hoping for surgery as the medications dont do anything for me. Fingers crossed you will be able to beat your medical issues. Take care of yourself. You’re awesome even when you’re lying on the couch resting. you’ve earned it.
Oh, wow! Well…I can tell you one of the likely reasons you’ve run out of steam. Anytime you drastically change your diet, your energy levels will fluctuate. I had to go on an elimination diet once that cut out all nightshades, most carbs and sugars, and let me tell you, those were the longest 90 days of my life. I…think the huge energy dip that happened for the first couple of weeks got better shortly after that, but seriously, give yourself a break. You’ve been going to the gym, and that’s no small thing.
Also, ARC thing seems largely straightened out now. <3 It's okay to take a break with all of that going on in your life.
If it makes you feel better you’ve got me hooked on Moonlight Drawn By Clouds (although not to the stage of even beginning to understand the vocabulary, let alone use it). All I’ll say is this better have a HEA if I’m giving up 18 hours of my life for it…
I was able to watch Moonlight Drawn by Clouds on my phone since I can’t get the viki ap on my iPad… too old to have the OS needed to support the ap… anyway… I absolutely loved it! It had more humor in the beginning, then got more serious to where I cried during most of the later episodes, but it does have an HEA! Currently getting the DVDs and letting people know how wonderful this show is and planning on watching Sungkyunkwan Scandal next which has 20 episodes.
Thank you Ilona for letting me know about it… would like to watch others that are of the same caliber. The subtitles were well done!
Yeah, we ended up with two goldfish in a similar fashion (saved from fraternity goldfish shots)….. We named them Sam and Ella.
Remember muscle weighs more than fat. I always feel lucky if I don’t gain weight by the scale when I up my exercises. Hope its all better tomorrow
BTW regarding comments about Julie. I have always liked her, but I thought I must have missed something (& it was a good excuse to re read KD.) As written she is as normal a teenage girl as I know. Have 3 teenage grand daughters. Sometimes she’s crabby or loving or rebellious or scarred from her experiences, but growing up & continuing on a good path. I would love to see who she becomes.
I was just going to say that, Helen! The beautiful thing about muscle is that it takes up less space, so use your tape measure rather than the scale to map your progress. That might cheer you up a bit?
Fighting!! I say that when I need some motivation these days too. lol I have even gotten my boyfriend to start saying that hehehehe I wonder if he would mind the oppa…hmmm
Sending hugs (well, warm wishes anyway) your way. Yarn makes things better. Buy a bunch and go swimming in the tangles. You can feel like Scrooge McDuck.
Food is a big deal. I don’t know if there’s anything medically backing this up, but I feel it can have a big impact on moods. I have food allergies to some of my absolutely favorite foods – tomatoes and apples. Do you know how many foods have either of those things in them? About half. And they’re in the most ridiculous things. Strawberry oatmeal has apples. Why?! Probably as a natural sweetener, but still. Not supposed to have that. So you have the depression from not being able to eat the good things. But I’m pretty sure there’s problems in just trying to change your diet. I’m pretty sure certain foods affect moods, too, beyond the comfort factor.
I’m hoping you’re able to find a new balance that can help you out. It’s miserable not being able to eat the foods you want.
Btw, I love the turtle. “I can haz all the roomzy!”
I personally found potato is the worst, followed by eggplant and that I can get away with tomatoes (especially squeezing out the seeds beforehand) and peppers.
Dave Asprey’s Head Strong would absolutely be worth a listen while knitting. I’m satisfied that my head fog is gone and my energy is higher though TBF I also concurrently went to Native Remedies’ site and bought every single potion related to fighting fatigue, stimulating the thyroid, weight loss, and focus. All of the above cost less than what I would have paid going to a doc who would have prescribed something I probably wouldn’t have taken anyway.
Many many hugs, Ilona. So glad you can find some things to laugh about. It makes me sad to think works is has pushed you into a sad place. We love your work and worlds, , but we value you more. Take good loving care of the sad girl in the picture. Also, Maybe some vitamin B supplements?
Years ago I had to deal with some internal obstruction and narrowly escaped surgery. For me the diet was LOTS of water, NO salt, no nightshade, no fiber, no peels or skins or seeds, generally low carb. What did that leave? Trader Joe’s low salt butternut squash soup and chicken broth was nice, all kinds of fish fillets, simple boiled rice (no salt), green beens, peaches, creamy no salt peanut butter on peeled apple slices. Actually, the no salt, lots of water regimen seemed to help the weight loss more than the lack of carbs.
I hope your spirit gets a breather along with your body, and that your sense of humor and the love of friends and family (and devoted, undemanding fans ) see you through.
Mean downer me says..did you know small carnival turtles can carry samonella?
Disease warning https://www.cdc.gov/salmonella/small-turtles-03-12/index.html
Our came from Chinatown in NY city. I called local zoo. turtleBack Zoo. After the turtle guy said I needed minimum $300 for a basic setup for turtle plus samonella issues, he went to a licensed wildlife rescuer at NJ bat rescue, despite no fur or wings or cute noises.
Turtles can live 50 years.
Thinking of you. Hang in there!
I wish for you to have some nonbook-, nongame-, nonhidebehindtheyarnrelated FUN, because to me it seems that you REALLY need something new and fresh in your life, just for yourself! With totaly new and different people and actions and did I mention? FUN! FUN! FUN!
Don`t forget to fall in love with yourself ;-)!
Self-employees are really bad in taking care of their down-times!!
Good luck, lots of well wishes and greets from Switzerland!
Inga
P.S. Horrified, that there seem to be no laws against the animal-cruelty at your fairs! No one would even think of that over here!!!
Been there, darlin’. It’s never fun but it does get better.
[Virtual hugs – (completely platonic)]
I am positive you could get a dog kiss and a cuddle, or many dog kisses and cuddles, and I bet it would help.
Just remember – you are fabulous! The BDH is never wrong about these things and every one of us will tell you how great you are, given half a chance.
I pray that you get to feeling more energized and that you procedure goes good.
I was put on a very strict paleo diet (no corn,soy, dairy, sugar, gluten and caffeine) to try to get my body fixed and to start handling my PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) naturally because I don’t want to be on birth control (also no body every told me getting your tubes tied and have PCOS is the worst thing you can do because it makes you crazy) so on top of that my chiropractor is also trying to give my back and neck some curves again (at 31 I have the body of a much older person due to how out of wack my spine is). So I feel you on the diet though I can have more my body still craves what it can not have.
Love the turtle and he will have a great life now!
We did paleo for over a year. My PCOS kid lost about 40 lb without counting calories at all. I lost only 7 lb but my GERD disappeared. Also my autoimmune problems lessened. Not counting calories was wonderful.
if you read the new medical research on ultra processed foods damage, it makes sense that as a paleo calls for mainly unprocessed food, perhaps it is the diet but maybe our focus on unrefined foods that helped.
mostly used the website paleohack for recipes. Good luck, good health to us all.
About a month ago and $270.00 ago my husband found a small turtle floating in our pool and thought it would be a nice (free ) pet for our grand children. Who knew they need a 20 gallon tank as they can get big, a filter, rocks, food , a pump and a whole lot of other stuff. It is still alive and the kids love it so not is all lost.
Part of the lack of energy thing could be the weather, if you have had as much rain as I have the last couple of months.
Anytime it is rainy for days, I have a lack of energy and just want to veg. It seems like it has rained every day for months now, but I know that we just had a blizzard a few weeks ago, so that isn’t true. Of course it is supposed to rain 5 out of the next 7 days, the same as it has the last 2 weeks. Ugh.
I hope things get better soon and GL with the new addition. 🙂
Hmmm fish. There’s a great recipe that I use (I’m Indian and from a part of India where we eat ALOT of fish) and it essentially involves marinating the fish in tumeric (half a teaspoon to a teaspoon), some garlic-ginger paste, along with half a tablespoon of oil (I suggest any healthy oil you have, also amount of oil depends on size of your fish, though fish has its own oils so you generally don’t need much), small amount of salt for taste (up to your discretion) and then sticking it in the oven to bake. It’s healthy and surprisingly tasty without being a full on spice assault on the taste buds. Perhaps you’ll like it?
I hope you feel better ><, sending positive vibes your way!
If I tell you onions are not nightshades but members of the lily family will you be happier? Or will it not matter because onions, garlic etc are still off limits?
Thank you for giving the forced upon you yet rescued turtle a nice place to live. The water is filtered, right?
Your new dietary restrictions sound like what I have been doing for years now to keep auto-immune inflammation in check. I use the AIP – Auto-immune protocol, which is basically paleo without nightshades and other inflammatory foods, like eggs. I am allergic to eggs anyway so, oh well. It is hard to hear that restricting certain foods will help but it is true.
It isn’t hard once you get used to it, just a bit inconvenient sometimes.
I hope you feel better soon.
Aaaah this post sounds like my life right now. I have to move again for the third time in a year and a half. I’m sick with a cold and I have no energy to pack. I also don’t have as many days as I’d like because I will be away for Memorial Day.
To top it off, I had another bed bug freak out (they are my biggest phobia since I moved to NYC and I actually did have them at a hotel but weirdly not NYC but in Paris!) two days ago when I woke up to weird blood like stains on my pillowcase. This was not helped by the fact that about an hour later I found a bed bug looking bug on my bedroom ceiling and when I smashed it a lot of blood came out. Then massive bites appeared on my arm, neck, and collar bone. Exterminator came by and didn’t find anything but sprayed anyways just in case since I had bites. I’m still running all my clothes through the dryer just in case which is impeding my packing.
I’m so exhausted since the bed bug thing has kept me up for the past two nights and I also need to pack for my Memorial Day trip. And also need to keep job searching as I am unemployed right now.
However to end my message on a positive note: any names for surprise turtle?? What kind is it?
Is there anything I can do to lessen the hurt? What little inconsequential thing could I do to help?
Seriously.
Sending you positive vibes and gentle hugs. Feel better soon, we will all be here waiting for you.
Personally, I’m having the same type issues. I’m unmotivated at work, I’m getting fatter and eating a lot less food (allergies are coming out of no where), I go to the gym and it gives me very little benefit (except soreness and pain). My doctor said it’s pre-menopause symptoms – personally I just want to go to a rent free house in the USVI’s and live carefree for about 6 months. But alas, the children must be fed, the insurance must be paid, the bills request prompt attention. So off to the gym, then work, then dinner, then or errands, then bed where I read books and blogs(if lucky) – rinse/repeat
I can’t tell how small/large the turtle is but it is illegal to distribute or sell turtles under 4″ because of the potential for salmonella. PS it looks like a red eared slider. If so, the adults get 6″-12″ and with proper care they apparently live 20-40 years
https://www.sanluisobispo.com/entertainment/mid-state-fair/article39450924.html
https://www.petco.com/content/petco/PetcoStore/en_US/pet-services/resource-center/caresheets/red-eared-slider-care-sheet.html
Does the turtle have a squeaky hamburger? Sounds like it should have a squeaky hamburger. (Sorry folks…only earc reviewers will get the joke for now….)
I hope you feel better!. Also be warned wash well after handling turtles loads of salmonella
My sister got a turtle the same way, and it’s an egg-laying adult now. It’s sort of neurotic, but really attached to its humans.
It is a red eared slider. Considered to be an aggressively invasive species, so please, please do not ever let it loose in a pond or river. Otherwise enjoy your Yurtle.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-eared_slider
I would not be too woried. These turtles are almost immortal. Once somebody throw several of these turtles into a sewer. And they were perfictly fine when sombody else save them. After several months. In Czech Republic. Also your turtle will grow to the size of dinner plate.
I too saved a turtle and was shocked to learn that a red ear slider lives 30-50 years in captivity. Mine is now 15 years ago and looks like a big mac sandwich. Mine loves strawberries, grapes and crickets. I also had mine tested for salmonella and would recommend. Plus, don’t be surprised if Eugene ends up being a Eugenia. They are good pets, I’ll wrap mine in a towel and watch TV together.
PS Feel better soon!