Today I am the sad girl in the photo. I’ll just take my imaginary stuffed lion, hang my head, and go sit in a corner somewhere.
Honestly, last few weeks have been rough. Stuff happened. Pets were sick and injured. Cars were flooded. I have to go to a medical specialist on 29th for a diagnostic procedure I wish I didn’t need. I am now on a strict bland diet. On one hand, I can’t eat anything in the nightshade family, meaning tomatoes, onions, potatoes, and bell peppers are out. Nothing spicy, nothing sour, nothing greasy. I also can’t eat anything too carb-heavy, because I am trying to lose weight. So far I succeeded in lowering my blood pressure to 106/76 and gaining 2 lbs of muscle. I can do push ups, but I’ve achieved no actual weight reduction to speak of. Also I dropped the 12 lb ball on my face, drove my glasses into the bridge of my nose, and now it hurts. Then the ARC thing was just the cherry on top of the cake.
I’m feeling so worn out. We have one scene left in Sweep of the Blade, and we need to finish it so we can move on to other small edits, but I’ve just ran out of gas. I don’t even know why. I took a break for most of April. I should be running full speed, and instead I don’t even have fumes left. All I am able to do is to go to the gym 3 times a week. All I want to do is to sit on the couch and watch TV. And possibly play Empyrion. I built a base on an ocean planet.
And I have to go to the store today to buy some fish. Because I can eat fish. Oy.
So I am a sad potato. Gordon sent me some yarn sales, so apparently I can’t hide my sad mood from my husband. I’m still watching various dramas, and I’ve been calling him Huang Shah for fun, and sometimes oppa when I am on the K-drama kick. He puts up with it.
Let’s see, so something interesting that happened so I don’t end on a depressing note. On Sunday, Kid 2 went to San Antonio to work as a bartender at a beer festival to pick up some extra money. She came back on Monday. So I’m sitting on the patio, talking to BFF Jeaniene – by the way, the next Veritas book is the bomb – and drawing ugly grapes with water color paint, when Kid 2 sticks her head out the door.
Kid 2: Mom, don’t be mad.
ME: Cops, pregnant, or sick?
Kid 2: Surprise turtle.
Me: What?
Kid 2, holding a small plastic box with some rocks at the bottom and a tiny terrified turtle inside: I played a carnival game at the end of my shift and I shot all of the balloons. I wanted a stuffed toy and they gave me a turtle and wouldn’t take it back.
BFF Jeaniene: Bwahahahahaha!
Me: Stop it.
BFF Jeaniene: Dogs, cats, a tarantula, and now a turtle. Are you building an arc?
So, surprise turtle now has a huge tank with water and rocks and a filter.
We are optimistic for survival, although carnival animals almost never live. Also, Jeaniene, don’t read this part, it will make you angry. Unfortunately, while in California, Kid 1 has witnessed live baby turtles being made into key chains at a carnival, and that scarred all of us for life. So Kid 2 felt obligated to save the turtle no matter what. We will see what happens.
Have to go to the store. Have to write the stupid scene. Have to finish. ::borrows K-drama vocabulary:: Fighting! Ok, have to go now.
I read some of the comments about the turtle and saw all the mentions of salmonella. (Great post – I learned 2 things I never knew.) So…
1. Why are they giving away an animal that is notorious for salmonella?
2. Why are they giving away an animal that is also apparently an invasive species, according to some other comments?
Whole operation seems very questionable.
Red-eared slider turtle! Squee! I hope the turtle brings you as much joy as they bring me. Their cute scratchy feet!
Fight on! Fighting! Chucking hugs at you from across the ocean!
Also, this is my general success rate with exercise;
This happens to me too! If I exercise and eat right, it’s a slow trudge to loose weight. If I just eat right and cut out all (most) of the bad stuff, it sheds much faster. But the bad stuff is so good…
Thanks for sharing the tweet!
When you gain muscle, it weighs more. Fortunately it also burns more calories. It will happen. Also, onions arent in the nightshade family. My husband couldn’t have them because they set off his arthritis. I made potato salad for the non nightshade challenged. He . Ate. It. All. He knew he would hurt, he did not care. It was worse than the time he ate a vat of hummous. Then wondered why he had gas cramps. You. just. Ate. A. Quart. Of. Bean. Paste. Telling him this too shall pass was of no comfort to him. I slept out on the couch for that event.
oops, he could have onions, just not all the night shade veggies.
So funny, made me laugh at loud ?
That was great! thanks for sharing it as it made my day. I concur with the slow weight loss by just exercising – you have to do so much exercise to burn off more calories than you intake, so it’s hard if you actually like food (ME!!!). So a judicious use of portion size and cutting a few carbs out generally works well while exercising, at least for me. Of course, it’s still a slow slog. And it doesn’t get easier as you age either. Grrrr
????? So true!!!!!
Fighting!!!
Wow along with the other things it sounds as if your suffering from depression as weĺl. Hope things get better for you soon.
And i really realy hope that that thing about the turtle keychains is not real. Theres gotta be a law against that.at least i hope there is.
Sometimes people need more than just a month off. I think you need two or three. In a row. With perhaps minimising social media and screens in general. Just a general physical and mental time out. Good luck.
I agree! I am coming off a 6 week surgical leave (all is well), but the biggest gain is the time where I didn’t have to think or work. The time has done wonders to perk me up mentally!
Courage! It is the wear and tear of daily living. Oddly enough, what gets me through these lows is marathoning your audiobooks. Nothing like your heroines who live in très poopoo situations overcoming the hump. And of course good action scenes to up the adrénaline motivates one to beat something up, even if it is oneself in the gym. So take stregnth in the knowledge that this too shall pass, and you do not suffer alone. As you support us when we’re down, we’ll always support you when you struggle.
Aja! Saranghaeyo author lords! ?
Aww man, that stinks. I’m really glad that you’re trying to find some positives to cling to and I hope the turtle has a happy ending. Maybe it has because it came to you. The poor little thing can live out the remainder of its days with as much dignity and honour as you can give it. Thank you for looking after it. Hang in there and please remember that it really is ok to not be happy, energetic and excited for as long as you need to be. You’re winning just by getting out of bed in the morning! *round of applause*
Vitamin levels checked recently? Can really impact our health, and stress interferes with our absorbing vital nutrients. Happened to me about 10 yrs ago… Hope things get better soon. Also GO turtle rescue!!!
Maybe can you make your whole wheat breads. There existe a lot of different flours that can make so differents breads. Whole wheat home breads really help to have a low glycemic index and add minerals and fun. And it is SO cool and gooooood.
I tried it two months ago. I’m french. I’m not buying bread in boulangeries anymore. I am also making my levain. But it’s another story.
Would it make you happier to note that I am now addicted to the Kdramas (and C ones too). I binge watched Moonlight drawn by Clouds last week, and have started Oh My General. The costumes are just WOW! Along with the acting, fighting, funnies, sads and everything else. (Viki probably should recognize you, I’d never have know about them with out you. LOL)
Also I think that I’ve gotten a coworker hooked too. I showed her the clip from Moonlight from your blog…
So watch your drama’s, play your games, you’ve been so busy and medical issues are incredibly stressful (big or small), please take all the down time you need. (remember its a need not a want)
I binged on Moonlight too based on the blog post and have been tempted to start the others recommended. Afraid to start another because I won’t get any sleep and won’t get all my stuff done lol.
Be prepared to be completely addicted, and get nothing!!! done!!! but its great fun 🙂
Have your thyroid levels checked.
I would say it would also be a good idea to have the thyroid antibodies level checked. Hashimotos thyroiditis appears in women about our age and is often missed because the thyroid levels come back normal. My Grandfather, Mother and older sister all got a diagnosis of Hashimotos despite never having the enlarged goiter.
Share tiny bits of fish with your turtle, make some almond flour bread, and delight in the spices that will enliven your palate, perhaps? Have you tried massage, for dealing with stress? Love, to our author lady & lord.
I spent 3 days in an animal horders home throwing away everything, scraping a runway of ground feces up, using a snow shovel to scoop up piles of desecrated poop uncovered when we moved furniture… it was horrible.
But I was able to retrieve the litter of 2 week old puppies from animal control because I made the man sign a contract saying they and their mother were mine. I was able to convince him to relinquish his rabbits and parrots. The puppies would not have made it, they have gained almost no weight. Rescues are amazing and animal control does it’s best… but a litter of newborn puppies and their mom have very special needs and are very delicate.
It was worth it to save these animals, and to help him fix his home for when he eventually brings animals back into it (animal control will watch him and so will I but there is always a chance). But I am emotionally exhausted and now physically exhausted because rehabbing puppies this small sucks.
Aw! My heart goes out to you. Good luck with your little pups! Bless you for working so hard to help the human (he cannot help it, hoarding is a type of compulsive mental disorder) and all the animals you rescued.
I love K-drama’s too! I’m currently watching Strong Girl Bong Soon it is super funny & silly. Boys Over Flowers, Love 020, and Love is a Bonus book were really good.
I hope you get over your slump soon. Sometimes you need a good laugh to get you out of that feeling, and sometimes you just need to move to motivate yourself to move.
Hope your turtle makes it… it is super cute.
Get well soon!
Ilona check this: https://emilova.eu/index.php/en/. Can help with weight loss, blood pressure , sadness , madness etc. May drive you to cook for the family while you will start dreaming of something salty but you will definitely feel better;) And of course better this program happens under medical observation. Be healthy and happy 🙂
The turtle will live! We won a rabbit at a parking lot carnival. He lived for more than a decade.
I hear you with the weight loss. When I was 36 I decided to take up bicycling. I gained 20 pounds. Of fat. I still haven’t lost it five years later. No one can find anything wrong with me, I’m just fat. The calories in calories out thing is bs. I restrict calories, I gain weight. I don’t restrict calories, and exercise more instead, I gain weight. I do both and I can’t function. I did keto for a while, lost ten pounds, but it’s hard when you’re the only one eating that way. I’d let my husband fend for himself, but if I did he would eat nothing but junk food. I had an easy healthy weight until I had kids, then after I couldn’t shake the weight gain. I’m not sure where in Russia you’re from, but my grandmother is from Ukraine. All the women in my family have the same problem. Apparently my dna thinks I should be living in the mountains, setting aside calories for a harsh winter.
Carb cycling might be the answer for is that are drought and famine resistant!
+us
(Swype can be so annoying)
Depression for whatever reason just sucks. Weight loss while putting on muscle weight? For whatever reason, that worked for me. Muscles helped burn fat off after I gained enough to do it. I bicycled my way down 20 pounds. After first adding at least two pounds. I hope it works for you too.
You have to love a surprise turtle. Hang in there and keep fighting.
Hang in there! Work out the health issues and the energy levels will rebound. And putting on muscle without gaining weight means you are losing fat, so you will slim down. Muscle takes less space. Plus you get the added advantage of burning more calories with more muscle. I know the restricted diet is pretty sh..ty, but do what you gotta do! We’re all keeping the fingers and toes crossed for you.
Long or short life, it looks to me like the turtle has found turtle heaven.
OK. It’s vital that you check your thyroid gland. Get some vitamins too. You have to lose some weight. My husband lost 25 kilos and stopped smoking due to health reasons . Balanced diet, walking, 2 meals every day 12.00 and 5.00 o’clock. After 5.00 , nothing, until the next day at 12.00 again. Think about it. He lost 25 kilos! Don’t forget your thyroid!
Yeah. Weight. I find that bread makes me gain a lot. So very little bread. 🙁 But having rice as starch is ok. I just bought rice flour and will try making bread with that. Good luck! =:^D
Sorry to hear about the bland, low carb diet. Have you tried quinoa? My husband and I have been experimenting with it since I got diagnosed with type 2 diabetes a year ago. We have found it to be a great high protein, low carb substitute for rice/pasta. I usually make a lot at once in vegetable stock so that I have leftovers to make lots of these: http://littlegrazers.com/apple-and-cheese-quinoa-bites/
which make nice healthy, filling snacks.
Hope the doctors help you figure stuff out. Depression lies to us. Please ask your doctor for help if you don’t feel better soon.
Quinoa! It takes getting used to and it must be rinsed thoroughly before cooking but it’s super easy and a great substitute for many carbs. Amaranth bread is delicious too. I just spent a week at a workshop where the cooks took every single food difficulty into account. They managed it by doing (for example) with or without sauces of the night shade family, combined with gluten free noodles and such. There was always dark green salad and roasted non-nightshade veggies, and two types of protein, animal and non-animal. There were no nuts, but seeds, and someone fried up baby fern curled tops (fiddlehead I think) strange but not bad at all. Apparently there was no one who couldn’t eat kale, spinach, chard, root veg, garlic, ginger, olives, and olive oil balsamic based dressings. (There is a way less acidic form of balsamic vinegar that lacks the acid and is a bit thicker. Everything was delicious. Also, I ate like a pig and lost 2 pounds while just sitting for a week. Pounds I’ve been trying to lose for 10 years. (Hopefully more to come.) my 18 year old daughter has had to go on the same diet as you. One thing the doc said was to take high level probiotics every day. This can help the insides as well as the mood.
Congrats on the new pet.
My oldest brought home an anole from school about a month ago. Yes, a permission form was signed, not by me. Make sure the light and heat requirements are met, i.e. UVA&B and a basking light. You can’t tell if it is getting enough until it is severely damaged.
https://m.wikihow.com/Care-for-a-Red-Eared-Slider-Turtle
Thank you! That was the first mention of UVB for turtles that I saw in the comments and it is really important. Several reptile rescues in my area have examples of turtles that were in really bad shape from lack of UVB and poor diet.
Hi! Two suggestions that might help your fatigue— more water and more protein. At the age of 47 I took up spin and experienced a ton of fatigue until I figured out I needed to hydrate before during and after, and need extra protein. Love the turtle… Hugs, Micaela
Little bit late to the game but still FIGHT ON SENSEI FIGHT!! (I’m on a k-drama and Japanese manga/anime kick so….) I’m so happy you are taking your health seriously and hope you can finish that “stupid scene” so you can take some stress off. Has Carnival Turtle obtained a name yet? Or are you just gonna call it Carni?
So sorry about all the “Sigh” issues. You did make me laugh with the conversation with kid#1 and having Jeaniene on the phone! I hope you feel better. The bland, low carb diet is the worst. My husband does low carb and we eat at Sweet Tomatoes a lot. The buffet makes it easy.
Tell kid #1 that SPCA of whatever state you live in is where you can report animal cruelty and abuse. Easy to look up website. Doing that to live turtles is animal cruelty and abuse, so please have her report this. The little turtles are really cute pets! I have 4 grandsons (and 1 more boy on the way), so reptiles are big on their pet list and we can’t have lizards due to the cats in my house(cats love to chase and eat them!). So, we have had turtles. My daughters have had turtles with their boys. Can’t be helped because they are an easy pet when you can’t have dogs, cats,birds, rabbits, mice, rats, lizards or snakes(especially snakes).
Probably been said already but low energy fixes:
Drink a glass or 2 of water, right now. if the problem or part of it is dehydration that will increase your energy…also works for headaches.
Pull your lower eyelid down and check the inside. If it is not a nice bright red/pink increase your iron and get your blood checked.
Get 8 hours quality sleep, yeah I know this is hard to impossible for some people but do your best!
Do 5 or more deep breaths breathing all the way down to the bottom of your lungs, inhale for a count longer than your exhale.
Do some gentle stretching and moving for 10-15 minutes while concentrating on breathing.
Find something to laugh at out loud…Carol Burnett on youtube, funnys in the paper, cute animal picts videos.
Smile.
Greetings, you awesome lady!
Coming from a veterinarian that had one (aseptic) gloved up hand and arm in her brother’s Irish wolfhound when in walked (ok, she was carried) a 17 year old iguana who needed a forever home, I know all about the impulse of reptilehood. A homemade 6x6x3 foot enclosure later, hundreds of monies spent on lighting (bulbs and fixtures), a Polack-rigged humidifier to emanate a tropical forest, and this 17 year old iguana had a home. She lived in the guest bathroom for months prior…that was a fun experience, but another story. She became my spirit animal, and taught me a love for an animal that could hate you just as equally back ? Unfortunately about 6 months after giving her a forever home, she succumbed to ovarian cancer. Aaand now my husband and I will have iguanas until we die because we built this giant monstrosity and can’t let it go to waste.
Back to the point. If you need any help getting this critter set up, I can direct you to some awesome groups on UVB lighting, veterinarian handouts for care, and if you don’t have a veterinarian for Exotics (which I know you have a zoo but not sure if it includes the scaled friends other than this current one ?), I might be able to help all the way over from Tennessee.
Best of luck! You will never stop learning with this little one.
The never-going-to-be-an-expert-reptile-vet-because-I-am-always-learning-vet, Dr. Gina Sandor
(Pictured is DD (Duela Dent) getting Class IV Laser Therapy by yours truly on her arthritic elbows…the goggles were just for the pic, as her eyes are actually on the sides and we used a towel to truly protect her when doing therapy)
I understand your struggle with weight loss. I was having the same problem. I seen several nutritionist, and they all said that I was eating correctly. I finally talked to my Dr about struggle he said it is probably genetics. He said let’s try to work around it. He said stop restricting your calories for a few months, but he wants me to start exercising with weights. He thinks once I have added muscle to my body…maybe it will start to lose weight when I go to my 1500-1700 calorie a day diet. It worked. Of course I still work out 5 days a week (at least 3 days with heavy weights)but I did shed 125lbs in 2 years. I have maintained my goal now for 11 years. You could ask your Dr if this method might work for you.
My best weight loss tip? Run away from home. I battled with weight brought on by sadness, health issues and late night snacking due to sadness and health issues. It was a nasty little lap track around Hades. Then my mom asked me to go on a European cruise with her. It was a ridiculous idea. I didn’t have the money and I was a stay at home mom and my health had crashed. She said it was the trip she and dad had dreamed of and he’d died before it could happen. I booked a ticket. What happened?
I came alive. We started in Venice, traveled to different ports in Greece, and I saw the minarets appearing through the fog in Istanbul. I was happy. I was excited, and engaged. I was away from the routine of cooking, cleaning, and carpooling. When I returned home, weight started falling off. Within the first few months I lost 30 lbs and I went into remission. After that, travel became a more regular part of my life. I exhibited as an artist in Europe and made friends from all over the world. When you are stressed, cortisol courses through your body and it holds onto the fat. When you are happy and serotonin floods your body, it signals an all clear and it releases it. I hope you get a chance to run away, leaving a trail of breadcrumbs to find your way home, and are revitalized. All the best. P.S. Your books helped me escape on the days the pain was so severe and I could not walk or talk. Thank you.
Maybe someone already said this and I missed it….but be sure to use de-chlorinated water in the tank. That is most often what kills them.
I am still kind of stuck on the live turtles as keychains thing. Anyone who got one deserves to have their keys walk off. And they were permitted to continue? No laws, regulations or ordinances were violated? ?
On yours, red-eared slider. Common pet turtle. Unfortunately because you don’t know the source it can never be released. There is too much chance of transferring diseases and parasites to the wild population. I do love the little beasties ?
Oh! It sometimes sucks not getting to eat what everyone else does. I have food allergies and sensitivity to foods, especially to FODMAP carbohydrates, and that can be particularly hard to navigate. There is an Australian university (Monash University) that created a really good app to help people with digestive issues. Not all carbohydrates are hard to digest, though. There are some types of whole grains that don’t contain gluten nor FODMAP carbs. And, probiotics really do help!
I am so sorry. I hope you feel better. I know we readers are many things to authors, we praise, criticize, fawn, and demand making life both better and harder. Please let me know if there is anything we (I) can do to help, otherwise I am happy to also listen.
You got this, even if you’re just plugging through the things on your to-do list, at least you are getting them done. That’s how I feel right now so I am totally with you on the sigh level. Everyone keeps telling me to get some sun and vitamins, maybe that will help you too.
This quote from Burn for Me comes to mind:
“If I could, I would punch [the last few weeks] right in the face”! ??
Glad you’re feeling better! ??
Hugs, hugs, and yet more hugs!!! This too shall pass but in the meanwhile life sucks. Hang in there Ilona.
44 year old pet turtles…. Rocky’s own. 🙂
http://www.topbuzz.com/article/i6694277850108789253?app_id=1222&gid=6694277850108789253&impr_id=6694408605447817478&language=en®ion=us&user_id=6541335798884892682
That is the luckiest turtle on Earth! ? Look at that luxury turtle condo, excellent! I can’t imagine what turtles eat.
Seriously though I am so sorry you are going through such rough times. I hope things are better soon?
I had 2 pet turtles as a child. The first I got as a consolation prize because I was sick on vacation and had to miss all the fun. It was so cute but it escaped during the car ride home from Florida to Minnesota in my Dad’s new Lincoln which developed an unfortunate odor by day 2. When we got back to Minnesota, I got another turtle which I had for several years. It got so big!!! It escaped when I had set it outside while cleaning his aquarium. I saw it make its way into the lake. There were several turtles in the lake, but I was convinced that mine survived because sometimes I saw a turtle sunning itself on a rock with red markings which the other turtles lacked.
I just love your response to Kid 2:
Kid 2: Mom, don’t be mad.
ME: Cops, pregnant, or sick?
I’m totally borrowing it for my Kid 1 who is about to turn 16 (yikes!). Thank you for rescuing the turtle – lots of hugs to you & hope you have a better day forward.
I love turtles. Just saying. Honey, when you are out of gas. You are out of gas. Being someone with chronic health issues, I can tell you managing your health can feel like a full time job, so taking a month off from writing, only to have to deal with said health issues is not a break. Not really. And keeping your spirits up when you are on a restrictive of a diet is very hard. I feel ya’ sister. And the weight loss, don’t get me started. And whatever you do don’t buy that new special edition Time magazine on weight loss. Total rip off. First of all the first article was about The biggest loser. the REALITY show. I skipped out. Kept looking for the new information. It wasn’t there. Basically: Losing weight is hard. Stay away from white bread sugar. Eat lean protein and vegetables. Exercise. Duh? No, I mean like DUUUUUH? Also limit TV and get this – be a morning person. (That is so not happening.) I spent 14.95 on that thing. And the very last article, wait for it, some woman wrote about trying Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop five day cleanse. No, I’m serious. She did. There was coconut nectar and turmeric shakes and oh hell to the no. I think it came to about 500.00 for five days. I love Gwyneth but she’s not a nutritionist. So to summarize: Time put out a magazine that started with Reality T.V. and ended with Goop. Do not be sucked in by that lovely Granny Smith apple on the cover. In all seriousness though, restrictive diets have been linked to depression. Make sure you are taking supplements. A friend of mine went on the Keto and did not take the vitamins. She started feeling super tired. Her doctor ran tests and said she was deficient in like every vitamin out there. hang in there. We love you. You da’ bomb. Not just any mom would take in a tarantula and a turtle. Just be sure you take care of you along the way. T
If you need turtle advise join diy fish keepers and ask the admin they have some really smart people who can really help
Awww thank you so much for saving the turtle! You guys are awesome sauce. You’ve made my month :).
Hang in there, Ilona! Dietary restrictions feel like such a trap; I’ve been there. Once you find the source of the problems, it will help you feel better.