Mod R is off today and this is a personal post. Whining. It’s whining. I need to vent my blah into the world, so if you are here for book updates, you might want to skip this one. Otherwise, come sit with me on the fussy bench. There is tea and cookies.
My mubbles-fubbles are also in full swing and have been since December. The last quarter of the year brought grueling edits and professional frustration, the beginning of this year compounded it, and I’m listless and irritable.
Normally Tuna greets me in the morning with a cute meow. This morning, she came over while I was making my tea and screeched at me like some kind of small feline harpy, to which I said, “Well, mreeeeeargh to you too.”
Maybe I should adopt that as my default response to things I need to do. Write more words? Mmreeeeeargh. Load dishwasher? Mmreeeeeargh. Sign pages for the new collector edition? Mmreeeeeargh.
I’m usually on the ball with putting up the Christmas tree right after the New Year. Do you know when I put up our Christmas tree this year? Sunday. Yup, I kept it out for a month and a half too long, because it was pretty and I couldn’t scrape together enough motivation to put it away. I will say, we stayed on top of house cleaning, and that’s what finally gave me enough willpower to take the tree down. Gordon wanted to vacuum under it, and I was like, “I will do us one better. I’ll put it away.” It took whole of 30 minutes, if that.
We’re way behind the writing schedule, which also pisses me off, and yet I can’t seem to find the motivation to write. Don’t get me wrong – we’ve been busy. Taxes, admin tasks, keeping up with Roman serial somehow, prep for shopping Maggie, but I should’ve taken off after the holidays and instead I am spinning my wheels in the mud.
Mmreeeeeargh.
I have fired up the Satisfactory again (a game that let’s you build a factory on an alien planet) and I am building a ridiculous factory. Normally I am very conservation-oriented in my building, as in I try not to destroy virtual trees, but last night, as I looked around the beautiful forested cliffs, I thought, “I could just bulldoze all of this crap and have all the space I need.”
Mmreeeeeargh. Mood.
In an effort to cope, I bought a ridiculously cheerful acrylic yarn and I am making a blanket with it. Why am I making a blanket? No clue. I could buy a blanket for $15 and it will be softer and more washable. And washable is key because Oliver, the other cat, is allergic to life. He has the best medical food, he is kept away from treats, and yet he routinely rips his hair out and sneezes everywhere, and he has been to every vet specialist and none of them can do anything about his allergies. All furniture must be covered, and the covers are washed weekly just to keep the hair contamination down.
I love cats, but Oliver broke me. He’s been with us for… ten? Ten years, I think. I rescued him from a glass box at Petsmart and three months later the allergy saga began. He has a warm safe place with us, he is fed, petted, and loved, and will be loved until the end of his days, but after him, I’m done.
The new insurance denied my diabetes meds because I’m not sick enough for their liking. I’ve appealed. They denied. I’m going to appeal again. Why not? Meanwhile, I’m paying out of pocket, because surprise, the medication is working. The next Kate book will be titled Magic Pays For Diabetes Meds.
The one bright spot has been Kid 2’s novel, which is hilarious. It has this absurdly-sharp Pratchett-like tone and it is cracking me up. I am failing at offering critical suggestions, because I end up just reading it. I need to be better about actually editing. That’s, after all, what she needs from me rather than “hehe.”
I need to get my ass in gear. It’s mid-February. Don’t write, don’t eat.
Ach. Ugh, morning meetings bleh. That’s all I have in support of your mood. Thank you for a new word.
I 100% feel this post! Hope things get better.
Hug, its the winter doldrums. I should be applying for jobs and also doing edits on a scientific paper and i just want to curl up with my cat and sleep
The BDH will keep introducing neat phrases like mubble-fubble to the rest of the world. Go BDH!
I keep wanting to view it as mumble-fumble. I’ve decided I’m going to use that phrase when I say something wrong or can’t get the words out.
+1
My brain saw it as mumble-fumble too! 😄
And perchance re-reading IA books….?
I am sorry about your mubble-fubbles ( but thank you for the new word to describe “the Sunday dreads”)
I’ve tried to think of something funny or motivating or uplifting, but ive got nothing. I joined a book club to read the classics and so far this year we’ve read, “Of Mice and Men”, “The Plague” and just started “The Lord of the Flies”.
Are there no happy classics? Is there no book considered a classic that will not throw me into a pit of despair?
Sorry but things will get better!
I used to teach high school literature, and I requested not to teach sophomore lit any longer because their curriculum was full of depressing stuff. Lord of the Flies. Oedipus Rex. Julius Caesar. I can’t remember the rest of it. Pretty soon the classes and I just made jokes about another depressing book. Only way around it. I guess you could read Jane Austen.
Thank you- Jane Austen, classics that can make you smile!
We laugh that 9th grade is 900 ways to die (Sound of Thunder, Most Dangerous Game, Odyssey, Romeo & Juliet, assorted novels w/ death), 10th grade is wish you were dead: Night, The Kite Runner, Harrison Bergeron, other assorted awful dystopian novels, 11 grade is how to go to hell: The Crucible, Slave Narratives, The Glass Castle, other memoirs of trauma, and 12 th grade is killing other people: Hamlet/Macbeth, Dracula, Frankenstein, Beowulf, etc.
Genius! ❤️
The Importance of Being Earnest. 🙂 I used to teach this in my Intro to Drama.
+1
Oh wow, the curriculum really sounds depressing… You could try for classics from other countries (the English translation)? I recommend Goethe’s Faust – it’s awesome in German and I loved it back in school (it’s a play and a bit difficult to read, but soooo many phrases from the book live on in German idioms, which made it really fun). Also, Schiller is great and Berthold Brecht. Lots of political stuff, though (from back in their time, of course). I think Persian literature also has great classics or French philosophy, etc. 🙂
You might also try Mark Twain if you’re after humor – maybe consider The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County, Tom Sawyer, or some of his travel writings like Roughing It or Innocents Abroad.
Classical good reads? Read anything by Louisa May Alcott. Little Women, Little Men, Eight Cousins, etc. They’re fairly uplifting.
❤️
Thank you for my new favorite word! Due to continued cold season in Finland I suprisingly find even sunny days – meh. Normally I would be full of “uuu it is light – I am soooo getting my work and cleaning and and on”. Not now.
So my new favorite word is mubble-fubbles.
Hugs and tea from me to you. Virtually of course.
the mubble-fubbles stink for sure! it’s hitting up here in the PNW and I’m ready for sun and warm and no one to be sick (3 kids in public school means that it feels like someone is sick all the time). I hope venting helped! at least you kept up on housework cause I haven’t. It looks like a bomb exploded at my house and I’m struggling with motivation to fix it. Instead I keep making small felted objects called worry eaters. They’re fun.. would send you one but animals like to eat them and I’m fairly sure you don’t need former worry eater barf on the floor… that seems the opposite of helpful. May the sun come out and you get a few hours of just shutting it off and recharging the batteries.
So sorry to hear of your mubble-fubbles which I too am enduring.
Re the insurance problems and appeals.. instead of re-appealing. My doctor said to request a peer-to-peer review. Your doctor speaks directly to their doctor and my request was approved immediately. .
Hope that will work for you.
Great idea!
And then if that fails you can appeal to your state department of insurance. When we tried peer to peer the insurance doc was shockingly rude to our pediatrician, but the state appeal worked like a charm.
2024 started with finding out we needed to either do a 7k to 14k repair on my husbands 2016 kia sorrento with 178k miles on it or replace it. We bought a new car because he drives 500 miles a week to and from work alone. We closed that on a Saturday. Wednesday a pipe broke in the basement ruining the floor we laid 2 years before. We were supposed to go on Vacation that Friday but the flights were delayed too much to make the connecting and the next connecting was the next Monday…. we are at Jan 19th at this point in the year…
We are still dealing with the water issues. We are wrestling with both home owners insurance and the travel insurance. Today or Tomorrow we have to pay the sales tax on the new Rav4.
I will happily buy Magic Pays For Diabetes Meds to escape The continuing Saga of 2024 — we still haven’t done our state and federal taxes either
100% Mmreeeeeargh
I will TOTALLY keep you (and probably many, many others) company on the fussy bench. I will bring the chocolate.
Thank you for introducing me to mubble-fubbles. I love this word and that the very sound of it encapsulates the feeling.
#TeamMmreeeeeargh.
I’m TOTALLY #teamMmreeeeeargh,#teamfussybench #virtualhugsforallmubble-fubbles
I will also bring all things chocklate!!!
Ooof, I feel this, but it was the mid-end of last year for me. Slowly digging myself out, but yeah, mmreeeeargh for sure. Hugs, friend.
I saw Satisfactory is on track for a 1.0 release this year, so that’s exciting! We’re holding off playing until the update is out, then we’ll dive in again. D is all about precision and I’m pure chaos, so we always end with up interesting factories in co-op, lol.
Have you tried CBD for Oliver? There was an article about its use in the Seattle Times this morning for several animal conditions, including allergies. You probably have–sounds like you’ve been really thorough.
The New York Times had an excellent article on curing animals with cannabis. Gift link https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/06/science/animals-veterinary-cannabis-marijuana-cbd.html?unlocked_article_code=1.V00.G1xN.ueJUxWWn3nBN&smid=url-share
A medical advocate. That’s what you need! Someone who will take on the insurance company in the dome and beat them at their own game.
+1!
Kinda woke up this morning and put my Friday 13th Jason mask shirt on. Hostile today also.
Interesting shirt. I’ve been seeing ads on FB for Pumacat. I bought some of their shirts for Xmas but they arrived late and ran a bit smaller than I liked; I haven’t gotten to sending them to the fam yet.
I saw one yesterday that said something like “I may look calm to you but in my head I’ve slapped you three times”. I think mood shirts should be required clothing; seems fair to warn people what they may get into if they engage with me.
🤣🤣I’m wearing that shirt in my head!
Here’s one I just saw that’s appropriate for this topic and the Horde in general:
“I read so I don’t choke people. Save a life. Send books.”
I regularly wear a shirt that says, “I knit so I don’t kill people.” The needles are close by.
+1
I have a number of shirts along those lines but it’s a fine line between honesty and not getting arrested/offending people in the street.
– I’m sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud?
– I’m silently correcting your grammar.
– Another fine day ruined by responsibility.
– Karma made me do it.
– Will regret this in the morning.
I’m holding out for “Todays mood: cranky with a touch of psycho” and “sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to be here”. Let’s be honest, I have a whole Pinterest page dedicated to my future t-shirts.
All very passive /aggressive but I like ‘em. Wondering what other BDH members might have?
I have the “Did I roll my eyes” one on a plaque near my cubicle.
A t- shirt I wore out said, “I am perfectly calm” underneath a cartoon cat with all its fur standing straight up and claws in attack mode.
I have that shirt but it’s a chicken & ‘slapped you’ is replaced by ‘pecked you.’ Yes, I am wearing it today. Yes, I have chickens. Yes, I repurposed my old kickboxing helmet/face mask for capturing angry poultry. Why do you ask? He-he
I saw that post this morning and was like YES! Cause man, yes. So, as someone else who just wants to moan right now cause meh, I feel you.
💞💕
I get you. It’s gotten to the point I have to force myself to get the mail. Not bills – they all come paperless / online and I pay them that way.
Just the c**p that shows up daily. Nastygrams from the HOA. Change your insurance company. Sell us your house or car. Change electricity provider. Donate to our dubious charity. Etc.,etc…
Also, starting the run up to primary elections here. The deluge has begun and will only get worse.
I am contemplating a new kitten just to wake me up. If I thought the two cats I have would forgive me, I’d be haunting the online sites
Nah! She needs the hehe as well as the editing.
I think you need a break and some entertainment which I am happy to provide at Coastal Magic. You know I am a complete fucking delight.
Looking forward to shenanigans!
I hear you. This has been a tough winter. Too many deaths, too many cloudy days, it’s awful. You beat me with the tree. Mine finally got into the box today. It was the only pretty, bright thing. I too have to take meds for pre diabetes. Go to GoodRx.com and get a card from them. Present the card at the pharmacy and frequently you’ll get a discount on your medication.
Tree is still up. Where I grew up, it would come down after “Old Christmas” (Jan. 6).
…
This is the first year that it has still been up for Lunar New Year … but hey …
Hurray for Lunar New Year!
…
It is bright and cheerful.
It will be put away soon.
In the meantime, trying to be positive.
Lots of family stuff to take care of … including a parent passing suddenly in December … and other hardships … so … just keep going …
Don’t be hard on yourself.
Plenty of other people will do that.
Focus on bouncing back, and being resilient.
I re-read all the Innkeepers, and now working through our other IA treasures. Comfort and resilience, right there.
Thank you.
Oliver, oh my, oh my, such a complex feline.
Play the game in any mood you feel like, it’s good to expunge the moods.
*shakes fists at insurance company * the insanity of not qualifying. (Alas as in dental insurance, only fix when broken not preventative.)
Me – still looking at my 100’s of feet of LED lights which should be in their tidy boxes versus laying about in totes by the car…in garage not outside.
Winding up probate, might be starting up as executor (second time in two years)
Wheels spinning ✅ but grasping at small victories like, not killing indoor plant (this week)
Things happen and as you’ve done before, you overcome the “things” and find bright spots. *hugs*
I greatly appreciate your hehes, too.
(:
Hey Kid2, off topic (sorry for the hijack HA), but when you are published/about to publish, John Scalzi (SF author) offers space on his blog to authors for self-promotion purposes. It’s called The Big Idea and details are here https://whatever.scalzi.com/
From the site: “What’s the Big Idea? Authors explaining the big ideas behind their latest works, in their own words.” Free promo to a large readership. Your book sounds fascinating and I wish you all the best with it!
I woke up to the news that one of my favorite restaurants is closing, and their farewell letter contains the phrase “dreams die” and I currently hate most things about this timeline. I’m convinced based on the shape my friends are in that the general state of the pandemic, politics, and the more dystopian aspects of capitalism are taking their toll across the board. So yeah, mubble-fuddles was a good term learn today.
So much this.
+1000
I recognize that you’ve probably tried everything already, but just in case…
My cat has allergies like this. 10 sneezes in a row, rips out all the fur on her stomach until she gets raw patches. Nothing helped.
My new vet had me put her on human Claritin, the Reditabs that just dissolve. I put them in some wet food with warm water and stir and she gobbles it up. Start with 5mg a day. You can go up to 10mg a day for an 18 lb cat like ours.
I was skeptical. Within 6 hours she had stopped sneezing and chewing. It was a miracle. I literally cried.
I also got serious HEPA filters for the whole house. Both things help. Between the two, the problem is solved.
JMHO, but…..Is your Doctor involved with the appeal? Because in my experience patient appeals rarely work, getting your doctors involved may ultimately get the authorization needed. Do you have just a PCP or are you patient of a specialist? Get all of them involved, talk to the insurance persons at their offices.
We did this with my Mom over Eliquis, she still has to pay about $120 for three months, but it’s better than $1500. It took four months to get it okayed.
Speak to the pharmaceutical company, it worked for a coworker who spoke with Eli Lily at length for months and assisted with PCP, Cardiologist and OB/Gyn to intervene with her insurance. Good luck 🍀
I’m sitting on the fussy bench with you. I brought extra cookies. There are some things I need to do. However instead of getting it done right away, I take one look at it and decide I can push it off for another day. I’ve been doing that since the beginning of the year.
To while the time I’m not doing what I need to do, I started knitting a sweater out of silk and bamboo. Apparently, for me, third time around with this sweater project is lucky. However, I almost stopped it last night because my pattern was starting to be off by one stitch. After I fixed the problems, 2 hours went by.
Hopefully Mod R is relaxing on her day off. When she gets back she’ll be diving back into the Horde shenanigans. 🙂
I think you have your next Wilmington book title (whenever in the future you want to write it): “Magic Pays” – without the diabetes part in the title. 😀
It paid when Kate and Curran got their new Ice Age fortress with all the stuff in it.
My tree is still up. I just changed the decorations, because we’ve been sick and stressed and I needed the pretty lights on my tree for less blah moods.
“Moonshine memorial cat-snot” That’s part of our family legend as Moonshine, my white cat from college, got old and had a chronic sinus infection and sneezed on the walls. yuck. and then came the day that despite everything we had to keep the kiddos amused, they complained that they were bored. I pulled out 3 sponges and 3 bottles of Fantastik or 409 or some such and told them to clean the cat snot off the walls. I never heard “I’m bored” from them again. Moonshine passed on,eventually. but we remembered him from time to time as we would move furniture or look somewhere new. Best warm wishes to you and the kitty.
sounds like you need a couple of days off – which are just that (no email, no chores, no writing, no work stufff) to let your mind and body rest and recharge.
the American insurance system sucks. ridiculous that insurance companies think they know better than doctors.
good luck and I hope the mubble fubbles go away soon
Sounds like you need to run away like a pair of kids to play in the sand & water for a couple of days! Not too long that you feel guilty but a change of pace & sunshine!
Kid 2, you are awesome. We shall all be ordering all your books, not only because you are also HA, but because of the need for hehes in this grim grey (Feb) mubble-fubble world.
Our Kid 1 is a mathematician, physicist and climate change activist, solving deep complex meaningful stuff like clean energy.
No idea how that happened, esp since parents are both profs who tall alot and write very complicated (and probably boring) law books.
He thinks he is the black sheep but he is actually amazing, and we have got his back even if we have no clue. At all.
And it would brighten our decade if he suddenly turned up in the comments of one of our global classroom!
Just saying.
Awesome.
I shall sit with you. Many hugs and kind, gentle thoughts to you. Insurance companies stink, the runaround stinks, the extra exhausting work to get reasonable things approved stinks. So all I have is hugs.
* that would be ‘talk alot’ (hazard of the profession) obv.
I just took my tree down today. Life. Bleh.
Now I need to return my crafting area (the living room) back to it’s goodness. Knitting, cross stitch, quilting, I want to do it all.
Stupid day job.
I would read the heck out of Magic Pays For Diabetes Meds. Just sayin’ 😉
We had a cat that was allergic to the outside world (we never could pin down what it was) and would rip her hair out. This was the same cat that wanted nothing else but to be outside (the other non-allergic cat is terrified of the outside world and taking her near the door is traumatic for everyone involved). I doubt it would work for Oliver, since he is male, but our cat, a grey lady named Mister( my husband’s doing), was put on dog birth control and it cleared everything up. It was bizzare but two pills a week made all the difference. I didn’t even know dog birth control pills were a thing before that, but they are and my vet prescriped them for my cat
Ignore the typos, I have been working long hours and my fingers are rebelling against my brain. Or my brain is rebelling in general from trying to string together more thoughts.
Anyway, I thought I would share and interesting story in the hopes it alleviates your mubble-fubbles.
my other cat (male) also responded well to birth control. stopped chewing on his fur on his legs.
If it’s any consolation my Christmas tree still has ornaments on (it stays in a pot on balcony whole year, but I think that this year is her year to retire) cause taking them off would require going out onto balcony for half an hour and the weather is bleagh in Warsaw right now (and for last 2 weeks) and she is very prickly, so I don’t feel like doing it.
Some days, you just gotta scream at the world, and destroy some virtual landscape. 😜
side note for the medicine: You may know this, but If you have had any negative side effects or bad reactions to another similar med you tried – make sure the doctors are including that in the PA request. I have literally written out dates, meds, side effects and reasons for discontinuing for the doctor to send in before and the doctor sent the insurance a blank sheet. drives me up the wall.
Virtual hugs!
I’m feeling the same way and on top of that have 5 sick grumpy kids and am a month behind on work ugh! I’m a year behind on my novel too but that’s another story. I need to finish creating a new website for business number 2 if I ever intend on making money on it. Thanks for the post makes me feel slightly better that other people feel the same way.
I had the same problem with diabetes meds and cost. I can’t tolerate most common diabetes meds and the insurance didn’t want to pay for the ones I could. I was paying &500 a month for one prescription. At the recommendation of my pharmacist I went to the manufacturer’s website and was able to sign up for a copay program. I now pay $5 a month. Big difference. 😊
Right. There. With. You.
Things were kind of looking up and on track – then I contracted COVID (my first bout) which laid me out completely for a few days, isolating and whatnot got me WAY behind on …. everything….. and I’m just done.
Finally (before I became symptomatic and realized I had “the plague”) worked with hubby to swap the PSU so I could game without my machine crashing and got back into Diablo IV – so other than a Hidden Legacy & The Edge re-read (and finally got Mom to read them – you have a new big fan BTW) – that’s how I’m “dealing”. Killing virtual demons 🙂
And if the medication is also, say, improving blood pressure you can try adding a cardiologist to the mix for getting approval. Best of luck there!
That “Magic Pays for Diabetes Meds” reminded me of something.
Steve Perry, on a panel at Orycon one time, was talking about doing a string of Conan books. Conan and the New Roof; Conan and the College Tuition; and (his particular favorite) Conan and the Hot Tub.
I don’t need sugar for my tea, and I hope some of the cookies are oatmeal chocolate chip walnut. I think I can just sit with you for a while.
Dear Ilona, you are a parent first. So your „hehe“ is probably the very best comment you can give your daughter 🤗😂👍.
Let other people give her critical suggestions. 🥸
Trailing daughter #1 likes to watch me read her latest chapters so she can see me react to things — I do critique also, but she is as interested in my emotional response, wanting to see if she accomplished what she intended, and what else I see that was unintentional.
That “hehe” is as valuable as the skills stuff to a young writer… and perhaps even more so later. You’re a good mom, Ilana!
Feb is a tough month, it’s the lull after all the festivities. At least this year we got Chinese New Year to tide us over until spring comes.
Came back from a trip and I had to battle jet lag and catch up with all the pre-new years prep. Which meant long times spent in the kitchen and cleaning.
Today my husband has decided that the laundry moratorium due to Chinese new year has come to an end, and he did so by carrying the dirty laundry basket and placing it at the bottom of the steps so I can’t miss it when I come down.
Back to the humdrum of life.
My trees still up with no plans of taking it down because it makes us happy. and. iw I’m going around chanting KID 2 KID 2…why, because I really need a replacement for terry pratchett. I miss him.
Sniff.
AT LAST, SIR TERRY, WE MUST WALK TOGETHER.
Broke my heart.
I knew I’d be sad when he went. Didn’t anticipate spending an hour weeping over the keyboard.
I still can’t listen to the last Tiffany Aching. I’ve read it, but if I don’t listen somewhere in the back of my mind is the hope that there might be more!
Happiness is important. Seize it with both hands and feet and do not let go. (the happiness, maybe not the tree)
I get you. I should have put in for time off this month. Certainly next month but I missed my window and I’m booked solid. And I’m tired. Today was the icing on the cake as my commute to work started out as rain but quickly changed to white out conditions.
No one including me should be on the road. It’s an outpatient clinic for the elderly. I called my boss and I get a guilt trip. So I get you.
I’m now waiting to shovel the 10 inches of heavy wet snow. The commitments and obligations just never end. Have some tea and cookies for me.
I love your books and can’t wait for the next. But if you need a break, take a break!
Seriously, we can wait, we won’t like it but it will be worth it!
where I grew up (northeastern PA) whining is just how we say hello.
And I mean, we really go for it. so much so that 6 years ago even British comedian John Oliver noticed. https://youtu.be/8whYCPU-Msc?si=WitD6-eReYD9j0G9
So a big “hello” to you as well. 🫠
So sorry about your malaise and frustrations. There’s a lot of that going around.
I had the med situation once too. A new birth control pill my doc put me on and the insurance wouldn’t cover it. The pharmacy wouldn’t accept the pharmaceutical company’s coupon either, so I paid $80 a month for that stuff! I should have switched pharmacies, but I was too overwhelmed with family care at the time to approach anything with that much logic. Never thought I’d say it but, thank goodness for menopause.
Best of luck with all your endeavors!
I get you. I inherited a death-march IT project. Literally, as the dear colleague that worked on it died unexpectedly. It is going on my last nerve. I am have to write the concept for that part while doing it. The concept needs to be checked by the „architects“ from a big name consulting firm, half of whom are lacking understanding of the things they claim to be architects of. Others want me to bloat the concept by pasting tons of page of manufacturer documentation into, which I refuse to do. „Use Google“, I tell them.
I am fresh out of f*cks to give, and completely out of diplomacy. What can they do to me? Throw me out of the project? HAHAHA!!!
So you have time plan overruns? Adjust the plan. It should serve you and not the other way around.
I also need Diabetes meds; only they are not as expensive here. I hear your Pharma companies are making a real killing with them (sorry, evil pun). Maybe you should plan a shopping trip to Canada or Cuba, they are much less expensive there…
Anyway, thanks for the whining post, it is exactly what I needed right now. And we will buy any „Magic pays for …“ book you publish!
There is a useful acronym I learned years ago for certain work situations — DILLIGAF?. (Do I Look Like I Give A F###?)
I can see a new T-shirt in my future with a two-line slogan on it:
DILLIGAF?
Mreeeeeargh!
Yes!
I“ll need that.
We had a trip to Vegas… I hoped for enough sun to help with the sads…. It rained…..
‘Screech like a feline harpy’ – LOL. This must be a kitty thing, because our own cat likes to wail like a banshee at the bedroom door to ensure her lazy human is getting up to provide “all the attentions” on demand:) Or feels it is her kitty duty to ensure said lazy human isn’t lolling in bed when said lazy human could be doing something of use for Her Furriness. Is there a secondary human, already up who has provided pets, food, interaction? Yes. Does it count? Not so much.
I mmreeeeeargh in sympathy.
February is just the worst month and we’re only halfway through it. And this year, it’s LONGER. Argh. Or, I suppose, mmreeeeeargh. Tuna’s got the right idea.
In March, at least here near Chicago, the crocus will appear and that will give me hope to keep moving forward. In March, I will have survived my mom’s birthday without her for the first time. I will have – hopefully – managed to successfully disarm and dismantle the bombs and grenades at my work. (Thankfully, metaphorical only) We just have to make it to March. (In March, I will have come up with similar reasons to push through until April. Whatever gets you through.)
In the meantime, i have NOT kept up with the house cleaning AND my tree is still up AND the hospital is saying my part of the $3000-for-20-minutes-of-breathing-into-a-tube-but-everything-is-totally-normal-so-go-see-a-pulmonologist testing is almost $800. AND my kid’s 5th grade teacher sent out an email TODAY regarding needing valentines for the entire class of 21 kids tomorrow. (Happily(?), I planned for 60 kids total when I was buying valentines and trinkets and little heart bags are are now apparently required several weeks ago. Last year, I planned for 40 kids and then learned the daycare had 30+ kids by themselves. Mmreeeeeargh. so i was out looking for more valentines at 8 pm the night before. At least this year, I’m set.) AND my cat is in the midst of his semi-regular yakking fits, where he pukes at least twice a day for the better part of a week. Mmreeeeeargh.
Also also, isn’t that the image behind the roman serial from the innkeeper? (when you follow the link at the top of the page?)
Everyone is entirled to their “Meh” moments, particularly this time of year. I am in the Great Lakes Region and even though we had two BEAUTIFUL SUNNY days last week: the grey overast skies always bring on my winter blahs.
Take a break; have a lovely cup of tea and do something that makes you happy; regardless of whether itvis logical. As a loyal member of your BDH, I can wait for your next wonderful book/tidbit when you are ready.
I hope your winter blue fade soon. And wow that sucks about your medical coverage. I too am on expensive diabetes meds and I thank my lucky stars for my extended med coverage otherwise I could not afford them.
As for Oliver – have you looked into Spirulina? It is a blue green algae food supplement and it has been shown to be good for our pets as well as us – especially in helping with allergies. I give it to my horse who was SUPER reactive to bug bites. Starting in the spring, when all the biting bugs stated coming out, he would be covered in bug bites – he looked like he had hives, everywhere and he was so itchy. Bugs do not bother him at all anymore.
As one who has allergies, I am sure Oliver appreciates all your efforts cause allergies suck.
I don’t know why it is so much more difficult to transition from winter to spring, you would think lightness, sunshine, flowers (urgh allergies) and just general happiness would make it easier. I hate the dark and dislike going from fall to winter but I don’t go in with this sense of dread just dislike. Winter to spring – it is like pulling teeth. I wish you well, my solution is to just keep moving – just move and move more – and try to sleep regularly.
I feel this to my core — 2024 has been rough. It can only improve, right? Right?!?!
My tabby cat had allergies – he bit off all the fur on one side of his body. I took him in to be tested and they shaved the other side off so he had a black Mohawk down his back. Turned out he was allergic to most everything so we gave him allergy shots for a year – 18 months or so. We did the shots at home, just had to go to the vet to get the meds. Worked great – no problems giving him the shot and after they started to take effect, the reactions disappeared. He lived to be 22 so well worth it.
We had Oliver’s great-uncle. His name was Dustburger. We no longer have cats.
I am adding Mubble-Fubbles to my vocabulary. I think my grandchildren and I will have great fun with it. Grandson #3 is in a constant state of Mubble-Fubbles.
Hugs, hugs and more hugs to you all!
there has been sOOOO much FOG this year… i usually enjoy it, but i’m so tired of driving through fog in the dark. And in the daylight when stupid people don’t put on their fog lights at least so you can see their grey car!!!
++1
Keep appealing for diabetes meds. Companies deny claims because some people don’t fight it. Fight it. And complain if it’s insulin and you have to pay more than $35/month.
Also, on Facebook someone said Gordon shared who Arabella ends up with. Who is it, Gordon?
I sure home the fussy bench is really long because I want to join you on it too. I’ve been in a funk since last October. All of the end of year holidays were just meh for me. I couldn’t get any enthusiasm for any of them which is odd because I’m a huge holiday fan. I even went to a Christmas village with friends and had a picture with Santa. He asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I literally had no answer. It wasn’t that I didn’t want or need anything, I just didn’t care. Only ended up partially decorating for Christmas and I packed everything up after 3 Kings day and every single last tote is still sitting in exactly the same place in my Livingroom a month later. My toilet backed up Christmas Eve and overflowed in both tubs and bathroom sinks. A significant chunk of money to fix that and a week of clean up and then the washer drain overflowed and flooded three rooms. A slightly smaller chunk of money to fix that and another week of clean up. I paid off a loan in December and in January received a notice that my loan was sold to an extremely predatory loan servicer. I’ve spent the last month back and forth between the originator and the servicer trying to prove it’s paid in full. After threatening them both with calling a lawyer yesterday, the originator now is sending me a paid in full letter but I’m still fighting the servicer that is charging me penalties and interest for a loan I don’t owe. My 80 pound Blue Lacy woke me up at 1am this last Friday morning because she had diarrhea. She was very good and didn’t have any accident in the house but every 1-2 hours from that point until 10am Sunday morning I had to run her outside on a leash (broken fence – whole other issue) to go potty. After no sleep all weekend I was a zombie. I take her out one more time around noon and when I come back in the house with her, my Yorkipoo had pooped on the puppy pad but got a big fat turd stuck on her butt. She must have panicked because she smeared poop all over the house. It was on the dining room, Livingroom, kitchen and laundry room floors, on 5 different dog beds, on the ottoman, on the couch, on the walls. I was only outside about 6 minutes. I couldn’t believe she’d mad such a mess in so short a time and was still zooming around the house. I caught her, and then had to wrestle with her to cut out the now matted poop from her back end which resulted in me being covered in poop. I gave her a bath and then had to mop floors, scrub walls and clean upholstery and finally I could clean myself up. I also had to wash all the dog beds and run the washer through a sanitize cycle. And now to add to my wonderful streak of luck the storage company where I have all of my stuff stored while I’m cleaning out the house I inherited after my parents died called to let me know all of my units had been broken into and robbed sometime between this last Friday and this morning and they have been completely trashed. I have a couple of more meeting for work before I can go see how bad it really is. I seriously just want to crawl in bed, pull the blankets over my head, and just stay there forever.
OMG. I’m so sorry. *virtual hugs*
Oh no! 🤦♀️
My heartfelt sympathy to you… it sounds like you have just been hit again and again and again by the shittiest (pun intended) moments of life.
I am really sorry to hear about your belongings, and hope that you are able to salvage all those precious mementos that are irreplaceable. Hopefully insurance will step up to cover the rest.
All the best for you and wishes for a brighter tomorrow.
Hi Sam E, if you live in the US, you can contact your state’s Attorney General and report both the original lender (because they sold your paid-off loan) and the predatory servicer. They often can get results quicker and you’re already paying for their work in your state taxes. Good luck!
I am appalled that your ins feels they can judge if you are ‘sick enough’ for meds. They do not have prescriptive authority nor are they a medical dr. Fire them!
As to special needs cats, I went thru the wringer with a rescue. Turned out he was allergic to poultry. My advice is feed him limited ingredient food (Petsmart has a salmon & sweet Potato dry food that is good)) and give him a zyrtec (Costco generic is Allertec) 10mg daily. It will take abt 2-3 weeks but it will make a big difference!
Hopefully the weather will improve and we will all get out of the doldrums.
Hugs!
i hear you.
i usually get out of bed around 6.00am and take the dog for a walk (before work and because it’s too hot later in the day) and this past week, nope, just couldn’t get out of bed even though i know i’ll feel more awake and better for it once i do it.
the weather report also keeps telling me its going to rain (summer here in Australia) so i plan to do nothing for the day and then it doesn’t rain but i still just sit and wait for the rain and feel bad for not doing anything.
Its meant to rain/storm for the next 4 days so we’ll see
good luck to all with the Mubble-Fubbles and Mmreeeeeargh to all
Ayyeee I just took my tree down Sunday too! And only because I needed to rearrange our storage area and I need to have to tree box and ornament box in specific spots.
I like the fussy bench. I think everyone should have a moment to sit and fuss for a bit before resuming adulting.
Hope it gets better with the Health Insurance. My 21 yr old had to start paying for his own medical insurance this year. It’s through his job, so it comes out of his paycheck, but he told me adulthood is scam. I am thankful I can keep him on my dental and vision for a bit longer so he has that at least.
you need to speak to a vet that is in touch with Skin-Vet Clinic in Tualatin Oregon, we live near there and he invented/developed Respit a injection to rid animals of allergies it is region specific but last I hears he was looking for new regions. Our cat was covered in scabs from scratching so much and it caused anxiety that needed to be treated with prozac she is fine now and had very soft fur.
aaw you need a change of scenery even if its just for a few days. the blankets you make are for future generations. One day far far into the future your grand children will have little pieces of you around their house. Are yall in line for the eclipse? Maybe when the dragon poops the sun back out it will bring your muse back.
In the midst of the winter doldrums, I’m ready for something new. The local knitting and crocheting group is offering a class in Tunisian crochet on Saturday. I have signed up for it, bought about 30 different crochet hooks/Tunisian crochet hooks, and bought two large skeins of yarn. I want to find a yarn shop because I really want to see some prettier yarn. Can you tell I’ve already started obsessing before I have learned to do a single stitch. At 72, I still enjoy learning new things. Of course my 3 1/2 year-old Siamese may not appreciate my interest in yarn work . We shall see.
I’m finally starting to come out of my bla mood. Working for the post office kind of killed Christmas for me and this year I had so much dread and anxiety all through October and November just knowing peak season was coming. Better weather and a supportive husband are helping bring me out of my funk. Off to the dog park now.
Give yourself a vacation….choose something on your bucket list and just do it! You will come back refreshed and recharged 🥰. We will still be here rereading Kate, Dina, and all the other wonderful characters and worlds you’ve given us ❤️❤️❤️
You aren’t one. We just took our tree down on Sunday. Mainly so we could put up a cat tree for our new feline. Otherwise that Christmas tree would probably still be up for St. Patrick’s Day.
That says a lot about Kid 2’s book.
Ooohhh Pratchett! I’m excited to read it one day!
Can you take a weekend off soon and just go somewhere to recharge?
Or even a day out somewhere – museum or a class or workshop. I just did a pasta making class last week and aside from being super fun and delicious, I felt energised from it. The Monday mubble fubbles were a lot less!
Or failing that maybe a day of hurkle-durkle
That’s a lot to have on your plate, and sometimes, that’s going to screw with your brain. The Horde loves you and all that you do, so we truly appreciate your efforts to get the Roman serial out (even if it is frustrating when you leave us hanging!). As to allergy cat… he could be allergic to humans, legitimately. t
It’s not common, but there’s not a ton you can do about it. Keep on keeping on, and I hope things ease up for you.
This entire post speaks to my soul. Work, toddler life, medical crud, and a complete lack of energy to deal with any of it. Mubble-fubbles indeed.
I love my cat but she has constipation issues that results in some truly disgusting days and occasionally requires an enema. I’ve had cats all my life but I’m done after this one.
May the rest of February bring better days. I’m listening to the Graphic Audio of Sweep of the Heart during my commute and it’s delightful so I’ve got that going for me.
A fantasy author once wrote that writing comedy is hard. Props to the Kid for managing to do so.
I suffer from bipolar 2 and have also been trapped in my rocker lately and feeling like I’m drowning. I managed to fall off the toilet and give myself a concussion last week and that’s not helped a bit. 1/10 do not recommend.
What I do recommend: I don’t know your life or your issues and I’m not going to inform you that you should simply feel better. Instead, I suggest keeping mood notes. Sometimes depression is a symptom. Even the mild kind. Keep notes and consider your “symptoms” and if it persists and continues to inflict itself upon your daily life, please talk to the doc.
Mine is the severe kind, sadly, but sometimes I am just not hungry and I’m to mentally drained to do anything for a couple weeks and it ends up being a med interaction, or a hormone issue. Or a cycle issue.
You are absolutely one of my heroes for your work and your life stance. But even heros are human and can fall victim to the body’s need to fuck with you.
I wish you all the best and hope it’s just a new year phase and rest will cure.
With love,
Cori
I am so sorry about being trapped, Cori. ::hug:: As someone who dealt with mental stuff in various iterations with myself and other people, I wish that your bad days are few and your good days are many. Here is to a long nice run of boring good days. 🙂
It’s a shame we can’t just “Mmreeeeeargh” the mubble-fubbles away…
I sooo understand you. I think those feelings are worst at this time of year. At least I hope so. I just want to finish things with my work and be done with them but noooo I have to redo. 2 steps forward and 1 step back.
I’m stuck at Gordon *wanting* to vacuum under the tree.
Your partner cleans? He wants to clean?!
I’m so jealous.
I spend hours every day cleaning because I need absolute spotlessness, and my partner is the absolute opposite. He is incredibly messy and never cleans😭
Now we’re both whining, Ilona💀
I’m staying absolutely glued to the blog for a Maggie update 🙌
Wishing you an end of the mubble fubbles💕
Gordon was an NCO. 🙂 His clothes are folded, his desk and the inventory of his game characters are organized, and he keeps the garage empty so we can park two cars in it. His only flaw is the mail. He will pile it into a minitower, and then i say things like “What is this important looking envelope from the government and how long has it been here?”
*Looks at Christmas tree in the corner*
*walks away whistling*
Right on. 🙂
So, funny timing. Back when I was learning Italian, I signed up for this course. They send you random emails about Italian sayings, culture, etc, and today’s was regarding avere la luna storta. It roughly translates into being in a bad mood, or rather, a bad mood that one just can’t shake. Sounds apt.
Here’s hoping things start to go on an upswing for you soon.
Nah, hehe, is a GREAT response.
Also, you’ve accomplished mega things! Maybe not the things on your schedule or maybe you just feel you should be able to write night and day without a break…or maybe you miss that feeling of word count. But you’re doing wonderful things.
Also, not a cure, but have you asked the vet about quercetin? We had a cat while in Austin who had what sounds like a very similar problem. The quercetin helped quite a bit. Not a cure, mind you. We just sprinkled small amounts of the people quercetin in his wet food daily. Ask your vet. There are actually NIH articles on the subject. The care required from the scratching/biting is…yeah. The quercetin took about two weeks to show results. The cat (Leo) is doing quite well now as we moved and whatever the allergy was/is, is not bad here at all. Just the occasional issue that we can generally resolve fairly quickly.
Sorry to hear about your mubble-fubbles! (You are not alone.) Self-care is important. Consider taking a day or two for yourself. No work/emails/bills etc. You deserve a break, even if it’s just a short one.
Regarding your Rx situation: you may have already tried this, but a lot of pharmaceutical companies have a “savings card” to help pay for their drugs (look at the medicine’s website or google the brand name plus savings card). The “card” will have numbers/codes for the following items:
RxBin
RxPCN
RxGroup
RxID
I have done this with two different medications & it has saved me a lot of money. After finding the savings card(s) I called the pharmacy, gave them the info & they applied it to my prescription(s). One med went down to 1/5 of the original cost(!), worth looking into if you haven’t yet.
Sending all the good vibes! Here’s to the mubble-fubbles bubbling away from you soon!!!
Sic Roman on the insurance company
Medical bills are devilish. I could retire but I need four more years to get to Medicare just to shore up my retirement insurance. My 8.5 year old (no insurance because of pre-existing conditions) dog had to just get a knee operation ($6000 for the left) and in several weeks will have to have the right one done (ditto on cost). And my car engine just decided to have engine issues. I don’t know if I would call it mubble-fubbles but it is some kind of a m f-ing something.
Hugs, everything in our house has been rrrrarghl since just after Thanksgiving. I haven’t had this many people sick, one after another this much,
since my kids were under 10! Who isn’t sick, is cranky, and now I went from feeling fine Sunday to being clubbed in the head with a cold today. Nothing is being accomplished except life sustaining chores. Even one of the cars got into the act and didn’t want to start. I’m ready to crawl into a burrow like a groundhog and try again sometime in April.
*head desk* rrrrarghl *sneeze* and why?! random carriage returns.
OH WOW!! Now I want to read kid2’s book REALLY badly!!
We used to put a live tree up when the kid was little. EVERY single year we left it till the needles were falling off and my husband would drag it into the woods around Easter hoping no one saw him. To be fair, that is a no pet zone room so basically no one uses that room. Now my husband got a nice small one with lights he leaves up all year.
On the kitty. Is there a kitty version of Cytopoint? Ted pup had yet another benign tumor taken off his foot and so we didn’t want him using that foot for scratching so we gave him Cytopoint shot after the surgery. Stopped his scratching dead. The weird thing is Jesse stopped scratching too. Sis had the same happen. She gave it to one dog who was very bad, the other 3 stopped scratching.
I’m fortunately on the up side of things, for now at least (my own health issues with lupus and caring for my mom with dementia), but I’m happy to sit on your fussy bench with you and give some emotional support. 🤗
Will you feel more accomplished if i tell you my tree is still up?
No but I will be envious, I miss mine.
My cat, Titan, is allergic to fish. We didn’t realize for the longest time – until he scratched his ear almost in half. It healed but there’s a notch at the edge to remind us.
Our other cat, Wendy, is a sweet old lady who’s gotten picky about her food. She’s decided she prefers fish. Now they eat at separate times, preferably when my big boy is out of the house. He is used to cleaning up what Wendy doesn’t eat. My dad, unaware of the changes in their diet, moved Wendy’s bowl so that Titan could finish off the leftovers. Titan did so. He left his poor, right ear alone – the one that had been damaged – but rubbed a bald spot over by his left ear and there was a thin scab going across it. It’s healing now and everyone knows not to give him Wendy’s food but it’s been stressful.
The struggle with cats is real.
I will join you on the fussy bench for family drama and the screaming of “Mmreeeeeargh!!”
I have always been glad that February is the worst month of the year. For a long time it was called the month before March or just January extended. The true positive side is that while Mumble February is the worst month of the year. it is also the shortest month. See everyone in March. also never trust a ground hog to predict the weather.
My brain is tired today, so of course it’s latched onto the most random part of your post and run with it:
What do people in Kate Daniel’s world do if they need a prescription? You touch on this briefly in Iron and Magic, but they are a self sustainable community in the country, and you mention black market “natural” remedies in “Magic Dreams”, but that’s not quite the same, either. What about regular ol’ city folks? If chocolate is hard to come by, I can’t imagine prescriptions would be easier. Would magic have made diseases better or worse…?
Anyway, yeah. That was my random question for the day. 😁
It’s been that kind of year already. My son’s cancer indicators are way down, so that’s NED (No Evidence of Disease) and good. But he’s occasionally fainting. His doctor thinks it’s either low blood pressure or blood glucose crash. So we have a blood pressure cuff and we want to get a CGM. But he’s not diabetic. So his insurance has turned down two Endocrinologists who request it because he’s not diabetic. I’m fighting that one. Stupid, because it could be his MEDICATION FOR THYROID WHICH HE HAD REMOVED FOR CANCER causing either or both of them. He’s 6’9. When he falls, he hits hard. I can’t catch him. He “Sat down hard” on the steps 2 days ago. I hate insurance. Hate it. A lot.
(I sympathize. The story is to show solidarity with being mad at insurance companies. but I’m ADD so come at it oddly.)
If it helps, there’s a little known way to appeal insurance decisions to a state gov’t 3rd party org – if your appeal gets denied by insurance, check out your state’s department of insurance. It helped us a lot getting coverage for my daughter’s care.
Taxes. Taxes suck. Diabetes. Diabetes sucks. Insurance. Insurance sucks.
The pre-diabetes meds fiasco several years ago left me with severe anxiety, so I was leery of having to take actual diabetes meds starting this past summer. Fortunately, this prescription worked. And then I hit the coverage gap, which meant paying 25% of the cost; $660 for 3 months, instead of the $33 I paid for 3 months before hitting the gap. And of course, now that it’s a new coverage year, $550 for the 3 months because of the deductible.
And as to the insurance company thinking you’re “not sick enough” for them to cover the medication you need and that works for you – paper pushers make those decisions, not medical professionals. As several other people have mentioned, your doctor is a vital person to get involved in your appeal.
Tea is good zen!! 🫖 Sending hugs!! 💖
vets kept saying my cat had allergies.
turns out he has Ehlers-Danlos syndrome.
I am so sorry you have mubble-fubbles (I thinks will become my new vocabulary word). It seems like this time of the year is the worst for it. Praying for relief.
I laughed out loud at the part about you just reading your daughter’s book and finding it funny and not offering any kind of helpful criticism. I feel like this is what most non-author parents would do if given a book by one of their kids to read? Forget the part where you are successful published authors and I think you’re doing what any parent would do: read it, congratulate their kid for writing a good book, and wish them well with it.
As for everything else, I guess the cat will still keep being allergic to everything but the other stuff will not always be static. The diabetes meds may get approved, you won’t always be behind on your writing, buy however much yarn you want for project you may or may not do and who cares how long the Christmas tree stays up! I feel like you can cut yourself some slack here!
I am so sorry to hear the mubble fumbles… But in support of the bleegh.. I so so so support you and sympathize with you. I hate my job. I am stuck in patio reno – contractor hell.. going shopping for a new one since after 13K of the promised 15.3K patio all I have is no windows, a partially demolished garden sun room with no tile floor and a large concrete pad poured – since July 2023 when I started with this project. Original contractor contacted me last in January, failed to clean up after himself AND I was told he’s ‘sick’ which is why he is slow and hasn’t been back. Did I mention he left tools and ‘supplies’ parked in my yard? Really dude you are sick? Is he even alive at this point, I wonder?! Hard it is, when working full time at bleegh to chase down the contractor dude. OTH, Bleegh job pays for things, so there’s that. I have to go to the dentist for cleaning and exam of mouth growth thing (likely nothing more than a blocked salivary duct, but you never can be too careful), so I’m in for that cleaning AND the referral to the oral surgeon for evaluation/biopsy. Have I made the dentist apt yet? Nope. Bleegh gets in the way. Plus No motivation. Sigh. One day this month I will make the apt. to go… I swear I will. Till then I am dealing with the troubles by … escape reading. I just discovered the Baen Books ‘free’ — DRM free books that is, website again. Some really good authors too – new to me. So, yay me. Read a thons till midnight or later. Snooze at work, no bueno. Sigh. Go away world, let me read, lol in bed late into the am, not have to cook and clean kitchen (gaah, my worst – unloading dishwasher!). So, yes I relate! And if you are later in getting things out – I won’t judge. I’ll just gobble up what is put out when it is put out with absolute gratitude. May the mumble fumble be short in length and rejuvenating to the spirit.
I’m excited to read Kid 2’s novel. More Pratchett would be a good thing (the Lost Stories read more like proto-Pratchett than his books).
Happy to hear that at least the diabetes meds are working. When you start feeling better, that will likely improve your mood. Like others, I look forward to reading Magic Pays.
I think there’s a spoon theory of mental/emotional health as well as physical health. Some days it takes every bit of mental energy I have to make one freaking phone call. Late this past Sunday, my ulcer came back full force. Since then, I have accomplished a trip to the doctor and another to the pharmacy. That’s more impressive than it sounds. The sun is out again and that definitely will help.
mubbles-fubbles, I love that term. I’m sorry you’re going through that. It’s rough. I have that about work tasks as well. It’s tough to get going sometimes. Good luck with the appeal. That’s wonderful to hear about kid 2’s book, even if it means you haven’t yet gotten to the editing, you’ll get to it.
It varies by state, but there are ways to bring insurance decision appeals to an outside third party. It took a bit of work, but ended up being pretty quick once we got everything submitted, and that’s how we got nursing coverage when we needed it for my daughter.
We appealed in a different state, but you’d want to start here:
https://www.tdi.texas.gov/consumer/complaint-health.html
reach out to the pharmaceutical provider if the med they should provide you with a deep discount if not complete payment until the insurance approves it. that’s what I did. hope your year gets better
After nearly four years, my family caught the Covid. We are all fine, but my husband and I are struggling with fatigue.I also caught some weird respiratory virus last fall, which resulted in a six week recovery and the worse asthma attack ever. So now I feel like I’m right back in that “please don’t make me walk to the other end of campus” space. And I come home from my 3 1/2 aide shift and crash.
Mumble-fumbles, indeed.
This book always makes me happy.
To Say Nothing of the Dog: or, How We Found the Bishop’s Bird Stump at Last by Connie Willis.
I had no idea there was a word for my January blues! Thank you for finding one.
Best wishes on getting insurance to cover necessary medication. I’m tilting with those same windmills right now. And yes, I feel like I’m getting beaten up.
I hope whatever book you need to work on next grabs you and drags you out of the mubble-fubbles.
Hope you can use the Costal Magic Convention as a respite. Wish I could attend since I live in Florida. I’ve been to Sleuthfest, but not a fantasy con since I’ve lived in Florida.
this is me sending you what energy I can spare, and all the well wishes ever.
*hugs*
on the cat front, I had a cat with allergies. the vet couldn’t figure out what he was allergic to, but when he was in a house without dogs they went away like magic. just a thought…
I am 100% with you on this! Too much personal but my life has been walking on egg shells to keep kids happy and prevent the partner from blowing up and being an ass. Through in winter blues and work stress nothing is making me happy besides Roman (it is truly my bright spot) and Wingspan. Waiting for spring to come and bring gardening stress but at least I can do something about that.
I debated this reply for two days, because too much personal, but: If the partner blows up and is an ass, that’s on them. I did what you’re doing for 34 years, and that was at least 30 years too long. In my mind it was for the kids, but now it turns out they’re mad I didn’t leave and take them with me 30 years ago. Read The Gift Of Fear, read The Body Keeps The Score. If the partner won’t get onboard, board early with the kids. Put your own oxygen mask on first. People save themselves or they don’t get saved. You can hold out a hand, but you can’t let them drag you under. You’ve got a lot more company than you think. Best wishes to you.
I feel you, somewhat…
I just applied for the full-time, full benefit job that I’ve been a contract worker for. I have to move at the end of the month.
I have to clean the house before I leave.
I’ve been in such a funk.
Family has been fighting and fussing over silly stuff.
And then I read about how you are doing and just want to send you a hug.
I know it’s hard and I know we have to keep on working and keep on trying.
Here’s to us! *cheers*
I join you in the early winter blahs. Bad news from friends from the Christmas cards and dark days. Then it was light after 5pm, it seemed to turn a corner. Hopefully, brighter times are coming…
I am looking forward to Kid 2’s novel. I hope you feel better soon. I am looking forward to Maggie and anything else you would like to write.
Ilona, it’s okay to feel mreeeeeargh. It’s part of being human. Please be gentle with with yourself and keep on doing what makes you feel happy, relaxed, and refreshed, whether it’s gaming, knitting, taking a walk, or even going on a vacation. You don’t need to write for a day (or for however many days you want) if you don’t want to. Give yourself permission to take a break. The novels you’re currently working on (and us, the BDH) will still be here when you return.
+1
Joining you on the cranky bench and adding a blerghhhhh to the mubble-fubbles.
I hope you can get a break, if not an actual vacation. R&R.
I am getting out of the grind and visiting my parents for my mother’s 80th birthday with my family. My anxious, anxious difficult parents. At least we will have a change of scene and a momentary break from work and child-care logistics and juggling!
I hear you on the mehs. I am low. Low and hurting and a well-meaning person let my cat out. There are skunks, raccoons, fighty neighbour cats, and a storm out there and a melting down, yelling, dear-to-my-heart ASD guy indoors.
Not to invalidate anything, but the “don’t eat” phrase made me instantly envision the BDH mobilizing to make and send a flotilla of delicious casseroles to your home with cards saying we bought more of your books.
I hope you are feeling better soon!
Will Kid 2’s author name be Lorna Sterling?
I laughed out loud at your new book title.
At work we jokingly call payday “money transfer day”. Money comes in and is transferred to various debtors.
It will be ok. Never had a cat that was allergic. sure it’s not anxiety? My rescue pup has issues. And is not a shih tzu/beagle mix. Golden retreiver, pitbull and coonhounds make up 65 % 15 beagle shih tzu and the rest big mutt
Many years ago, when the world was young and I was in college, my comrades and I would occasionally comment “I am suffering from an intellectual and spiritual malaise”. I still use this phrase.
from an RN with denials/ utilization review experience:
get your doctor involved. Let their staff or their affiliated Quality Department to do the appeal. Threaten to go to the media.
Submitted data. ask about substitute meds. Deny Farzinga, give me Ozempic. Deny me Ozempic, my A1C is down to 6.9. what does your Quality standards say itshouldbe? Every insurance company has Disease management standards.
Can’t wait to read “Magic Pays For Diabetes Meds”!!!!! So excited! 😂 I am feeling the same way. I am getting mad at the fact that I must clean or strip the dishwasher again. Life is good, I’m just over all the minutiae and the “shoulds”. I’m sorry you are feeling the same way. Thank you for venting, it makes me feel better that the amazing and brilliant Ilona feels as blarg as me right now. We will get through this! Sending hugs. 🩵
I hope you will embrace the doldrums and get thee to a beach with lots of sun! Take care of yourself! Not because we need more books, but because you deserve to be happy! Hugs!!
And try pain meds for Oliver, sometimes Gabapentin or Solencia help with excessive nerve stimulation causing the hair pulling…
Wow wow wow wow. How’d you know my Year so far!!!
The next Kate book should be called “Magic Pays”. It can be a small injoke among House Andrews and the BDH that the real title is
“Magic Pays for Diabetic Meds”. Write it and we will buy it !
I have been thinking about your feeling blah and uninspired to start writing. I assume it is a magnified version of what I felt at uni whenever I had just finished a major assignment and realised that another one needed to be started if I was to meet the deadline. Mostly I felt uninspired, slightly brain dead and cranky i.e. blah !
Does it help to start on something completely different ? “ Maggie” sounds like it was fairly intense and dark. Perhaps something lighter and shorter like another Kinsman novella? You have already built the world and you know that world is popular with your readers; in fact many of us love those stories and return to them whenever we need a comfort read. Could they be a comfort write for you? Sort of a palate cleanser after the challenges of creating a whole new world for “Maggie”. We look forward to whatever you publish next.
you’re flaming out, take a step back breathe deep, grab Gordon and take him out on a old fashioned date no talking about book release or story lines.just chill and breathe just natter about a vacation or something not related to your work, watch a sunset or the moon rising, it’s becoming spring time every one just sometimes needs to sit still and chill in a quiet spot and declutter their minds, as we all live busy lives filled with the day-to-day fight of living in this world you sometimes just need to sit still and listen to the flow of the silence not thinking but just listen to the sounds around you. Sorry didn’t mean to ramble on it.
+1
I hate insurance companies. The attitude is “You’re dying? Sucks to be you. No, you cant have the meds you’ve paid us for. Our CEO wants a fourth yacht for his fleet.”
My favorite word from around that time frame is “sparrow fart”; i.e. crack of dawn.
Thank whatever – I thought it was just me! I’m in the opposite hemisphere to you, so I can’t even blame the weather. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sorry you’re feeling as ‘off the rails and can’t get back on’ as I am, I wouldn’t wish these feelings/experiences on anyone. But you know what they say – Misery loves Company, even when Company doesn’t reciprocate. Uh – I haven’t read all the other comments, so please excuse me if everyone else has already said this, but – we’re all adults. I think that if you need to press pause on Roman to get some other stuff back on the rails – well – do it. I don’t think you owe us anything, especially not burning yourself out in the cause of our weekly amusement and distraction. You’ve provided a tonne of backlists we can re-read while we wait for the next purchaseable publication. Maybe others disagree with me, and I’m relaxed about that if it’s the case – this is only my opinion.
I would love to read all the below comments, but am a bit mreeearrghh about life myself and just cannot be bothered. But I am sure that many of the posts will say much the same thing as I am about to… BDH are nothing if not consistently supportive of each other’s human foibles and basic human needs.
Take a break. Whatever you can afford financially and without destroying your reader-base.
Obviously, the BDH will be here regardless of the length of time.. by reader-base I refer to the other less honorable and loyal readers… the ‘TBReaders’ those for whom you are not put before all others.
Take a week, a month, six months.
Go sit by the beach near your blue house with the gorgeous balcony, and just let yourself breathe.
Read Kid2’s novel and laugh about it super loud… then read it again.. and again until your edit brain turns on, and your super proud mum brain settles into the background and just hums along happily.
Or if it helps to just whinge lots, do that. We will be here for you regardless, waiting (patiently or not), until you are ready. Just please let us know if you need a break or a whinge-fest and do whatever you need to do.
After all, this is your life, passion and talent.. we’re just living vicariously. xx
I apologize in advance. Try good rx or singlecare for you diabetes meds. I have crappy insurance and for many meds their price is less than my co pay with insurance.
I feel for you, or I would if I wasn’t busy feeling for myself.
I had my B12 jab last week and ok my mind is working again but am I cheerful and full of energy? NO!
And this morning, when the alarm went off at 7, I thought I would stay in bed.
At 7.02 my normally laid-back cat came and yelled in my ear, literally, her whiskers were tickling my face.
Oh well, breakfast as usual.
Bah!
Truly sorry about your diabetes and med problems. It’s hard to be creative when situations like this are sucking up your energy. Your mubble-fubble reactions sound a lot like Seasonal Affective Disorder. We use the SAD lamps and light bulbs to fight it when we can’t be out doors during the dark parts of the year. Hoping the best for you and that the coming spring will bring you new energy and resolutions.
My adult self knows it is too silly but I am currently imagining wearing tshirt with Conlan yelling “natned” and bouncing on bed and parents! I am currently knitting 2 great nephew babyblankets from delicious cotton while listening (again) to favorite Kate Daniels Magic Triumphs. This is in between lambing events and winter temps messing with my poor tractor’s ability to start. Hauling hay by tarp in the wind is a wunnerful way to work out frustrations usually. Google lamb races to give yourself a gift of cuteness today!!!! PS my flock guardian is half Karakachen and is often total goof like Cedric in Hugh and Elara’s lives.
I feel you! I still have Christmas stockings hanging around the living room. I inherited 2 of my son’s cats, and while I love them, they need checkups, spaying and microchipping, and I have no money until the car’s out of the shop.
But Spring is coming, and with it, the sun!
The “Mmreeeeeargh”‘s were pretty funny and relatable. But the “Magic Pays for Diabetes Meds” had me losing it! 🙂 Feel better soon! Sending loving energy your way!
Oh Iona, I wish I could’ve read & responded yesterday. My daughter & I can sure relate to the medication dilemma you’re going through–oh hellyeah!
As to your cat, I surely understand. Our kitty, our beloved Polly, was diagnosed with food allergies years ago. She was a rescue kitty, & I had her in to the vet for a check up 3 days after her adoption. She had tape worms so bad they were crawling out of her. Her ears were so impacted with wax & dirt she had to be put under with 2 docs working on her to remove all the crud.
She had chronic loose stools, & the doc said before we put her through allergy testing, let’s try the food for food allergies & see if it works. It did, for a while. Fast forward to a couple of months ago when she was dx’d with inflammatory bowel disease. We’ve tried one med for it, it didn’t help. We’re trying another one as of yesterday. They said if that didn’t help, they’d have to look at her food, but that might be a problem b/c of her allergies. I asked what was the plan if this didn’t work? They didn’t have an answer.
Mumbles-fubbles…perfect descriptor of the January/February doldrums.
Cat…we had similar issue. It wasn’t allergies, it was anxiety. See if vet will prescribe anti-anxiety meds.
February can be like that.
Hoping that putting up your (beautiful) Christmas tree, will be the start of other things moving … on / over / forward / wherever they need to go.
Wishing you fortitude and progress – in whatever and howeverso many directions you want to go!
🙂
Encouragement from my two year old granddaughter. “I will defeat the bad guys with my pink sword downstairs. And then I will say to them, MEOW!!!” Apparently, the meow was quite menacing.
Now go get em!
This. Is. Awesome.
All I can say. Is I’m in the exact same place. I have work today and it’s 7:30 and I’m still in bed. I need to go to NYC tonight for said work and haven’t packed. I love my animals but seriously I need them to chill out on the whole eat on time thing. Is it our age? Is it global warming? Is it my meds? I don’t know. But I’m still in bed!
Sending hugs and cozy feels. This time of year is rough!
Making a blanket is a perfectly reasonable response to mubble-fubbles. I buy yarn and a blanket pattern every time I experience them (I just had no idea that was what I was experiencing). Since buying yarn and a pattern only takes a few hours, and producing the blanket takes … longer, I will have a mountain of blankets if and when I finish. I’ve requested yarn and needles be included in my coffin on burial so I can get on with it.
mreeeeeargh is the word I’ve been lacking to describe my life since my Dad unexpectedly died last July, it was mubble-fubbles ever since.
I’ve missed you on the fussy bench yesterday and hope the tea and cookies helped a bit, otherwise I’ll bring some Macarons for todays mreeeeeargh.
Magic Pays is a cover I can just see right next to the clams- and here’s hoping that you can find more nice moments like reading Kid2’s book, since we can find them here on the blog….
Hugs to everyone here who needs them.
Big hug.
I am happy that Kid2’s book is so sharp and funny. It sounds like a bright spot in an otherwise challenging time.
I adore cats. I’ve had up to ten at once (rescues just kept popping up) but one of my current cats, Blaze, is slowly eroding my sanity. So I feel you about Oliver.
This year had been a rough start for a lot of people I’ve talked to. And for me too. I am sorry it seems that way for you as well. I, we, appreciate you.
I saw a hilarious meme yesterday. It said “Did you know you can just start screaming anywhere? It’s not illegal or anything.” And I laughed and laughed.
When I was in school and things would get overwhelming I would flap my arms and cluck loudly like a chicken being murdered. In private. It helped. 2025 may just end up being the year I pick that back up. Mmreeeeeargh, indeed. More hugs to you.
Oh, Layla, thanks for the belly laugh! Still, laughing so hard I’m crying!
Ugh. I’m not happy you’re going through the mubble-fubble mmreeeeearghs but I AM happy it’s not just me. Bleh. Mmreeeeeargh.
The corporate tax deadline is a month from tomorrow. I’m a tax accountant. I need to get my ass in gear. Instead I’m waaaay behind because I drew the short straw and had to do a complete rewrite of our mandatory Written Information Security Plan instead of getting any actual work done and now I’m just OVER IT. I can’t even muster the appropriate sense of urgency yet am constantly aware of the low-level buzzing of anxiety in the depths of my brain because I NEED TO HAVE A SENSE OF URGENCY.
Mmreeeeeargh.
In Alaska we leave our trees and outdoor lights up until March/April. The colorful lights break up the darkness and lift the heart. You should enjoy the pretty trees longer than a few weeks. Sorry, you have hit the February slogs but, I am happy that your kitty has someone who loves her and cares for her. Enjoy your daughter’s book and assign the critique to someone else. You know, you are permitted to pause Roman’s Fridays if you need one less thing on your to do list. ( of course only for a bit because the horde may have withdrawal seizures 😉). I am sorry about your medication and the evil insurance company. I hate that the practice of medicine is now controlled by accountants and shareholders. I am an old RN and it is frightening to see where medical care is going. Try to call the drug maker and see if they can cut you a break, some do. If they don’t you can tell them that they will be the villain in your next Kate novel. I hope your spirits lift soon. Sorry for the long post just know that lots of virtual hugs are coming your way.( and bright yarn knitting is therapeutic.)
Have you talked to your dr about the med? It sucks but insurances sometimes want you to try and fail with other drugs, also if it’s a brand name drug and you contact the manufacturer directly they have coupons sometimes that can make it way cheaper! Costco has the best cash price for most meds and no membership needed! (Used to work in a pharmacy now a nurse lol) good luck!!
My boss went on maternity leave last June. I replaced her; no-one replaced me. We were each doing about 1.5 jobs. My 20+yo cat died in August. My boss decided not to come back in December. It’s now mid-Feb and I’ve been doing 3 jobs this whole time. Haven’t had more than 2 consecutive days off (except weekends/holidays) since September. Some days getting out of bed is my accomplishment. But I just found my great-great-great?-grandmother’s diamond ring that I thought was lost forever 22 years ago. And I’m finally taking leave all next week (absent an emergency at work). I can’t say that I see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I’m making sure to appreciate the lights in the wall sconces as I pass by. (And look forward to getting kittens in March!)
I loved this post. Thank you for the new word and the cat reaction noise of commentary.
In my house the condition is called the woeful-awfuls. But it’s the same feeling; everything purposeful is JUST TOO MUCH and distraction by non-essentials is your path to escape.
A women down the road puts up her Christmas lights and tree (in the window where everyone can see it) on November 1 and doesn’t take it down until March 1.
I asked her why and she said, “It makes me happy.”
Good enough. It makes me happy, too, everytime I walk by.
There is comfort in knowing others feel this way, sometimes. My car has been in the shop for nearly 30 days. It is not awful to be stuck at home, but it doesn’t help.
Maybe a vacation away from everything is needed. We are headed to a favorite state park for a few days next week. It won’t be long enough, but it will be a break.
There is comfort in knowing others feel this way, sometimes, especially in mid-winter in the Midwest. At least the sun is shining today.
Let me just say, I love these posts the best. So companionable – and relatable! Right there in the trenches with you!
I watched an astrologer on Allison Dubois’ Youtube channel who says that 2024 is going to be “that” kind of year (as you described in this post). So it isn’t you, it’s the stars (if I’m going to blame something — why not those pesky planets?). However, as good old Abe Lincoln said: This, too, shall pass. Meanwhile, I’m loving Roman and reading old favorites.
It’s just February. Valentine’s Day is a suck holiday, designed to showcase how alone you are (well not me, I got a dozen grocery store roses and they are beautiful), and to make you feel inferior. The weather is meh. It doesn’t know if it’s supposed to be winter or spring. I’ve had enough of winter. We got kayaks for Christmas. They’re sitting on the bed in the guest room because we haven’t made room for them in storage yet. February is an in-between month. A liminal time. That’s what has you out of sorts.
Lisa, you made me remember how much I used to hate Valentines Day. I always hated when others at work got flowers while I got nothing because I wasn’t seeing anybody. But that all changed (and it happened before I had a wonderful husband and daughter.) One Valentines Day I decided it was not fair that I should miss out, and I intentionally started celebrating every year (even if that meant celebrating by myself.)
Some years this was a ‘I am Fabulous and deserve something chocolate that I buy or make myself!’ holiday. Other years (like today) it was a ‘I think my friends/family deserve an extra nice dinner’ holiday. And others were very traditional’Yep, my hubby is the best’ holidays. And these days rarely only fall on 2/14.
I guess I am wishing some joy for anyone in the BDH that feels sad or alone today. Take control of your happiness. If nobody is doing something special for you, do it for yourself. And make a habit of this…do it throughout the year, because you deserve it! 💕💕💕💕💕
I am in solidarity with you, unfortunately. Blah. Love the new words and the tea and cookies. Thank you. Hope everything improves for you all shortly.
Dear Ilona, your humanity has me sitting right next to you on that damn bench.
Oliver looks like Olasard, the Ripper of Souls. Maybe he is Sebastian North!
And big hugs to offset your blahs!
Cat allergies are the worst.
Our kitty, Pixie, developed them at around 10 years old too. The removing all of the hair off of her stomach was bad, but she had another symptom that no one (we too went to multiple vets) had seen. She would randomly fall over onto her side and thrash her legs turning herself into a pinwheel while lying down. If that was not bad enough, she urinated. Yes, she became a spinning fountain of cat urine. Coming home from work became the sniff search of finding where she had “fountained”.
Eventually the “fountaining” was under control, but I still thought the issues were going to kill her. I would never buy her more than a week’s worth of cat food just in case.
She lived into her early 20’s. A lot of trips to the pet store for cat food (and having to read every can since it turned out to be a food allergy). No more cats. They live too long.
I’m so sorry you are in the grips of the dreaded Mubble Fubbles! I hope it helps to see you have so much BDH company ready to share tea, cookies, and virtual hugs with you. 💕💕💕💕
Regarding the diabetes meds, I used to work for an insurance company (not feeling guilty as some insurance companies are better than others.) I have a trick I have used successfully in the past that you can try ( it usually works):
1) Gather all reasons your meds should be covered (test results showing improved numbers, notes from your doctor, medical journal articles easily found via Google showing this med works, etc.)
2) Write a letter stating how this medicine has helped you, why the insurance company rejected it, why you think this was incorrect (see #1) and asking for reconsideration.
3)Send copies of the letter and documentation return receipt to both your state insurance commissioner’s office and your insurance company’s CEO. It’s very important that you show via a cc on the letter that a copy was sent to the insurance commissioner!
I would be shocked if you didn’t get quick results.
Also, if you miss your pretty Christmas tree, do like I do: leave up one string of colored lights year-round somewhere you can go to appreciate them when you need a bit of joy. Call it your reading book, craft/knitting corner, whatever. Somehow, sitting under a cozy quilt, holding a warm cup of tea or cocoa, no lights on except the Year Round Lights always makes me feel better. 🥰
Feel better soon…and here’s wishing you and the BDH a Happy Valentine’s Day!💕💕💕
I left my Christmas tree up for 18 months once because it was around the corner and out of sight in the dining room. My co-workers were in hysterics when I told them how long it had been up.
I feel for you. I’m home with Covid and my cat, Yoshi. He’s well now, but that means he’s nagging me like crazy. I’m going to finish my tea and try to get him to nap with me. Recovery is rough. I hope your day gets better.
Rossini had an answer for Tuna…actually, there’s quite a bit to say!
https://youtu.be/ZPdqdqj3ghY?si=Bx4U4KsfQUT0GT6I
Hopefully it will make your day better!
Awesome
We need a Kid2 release day scavenger hunt. I know you guys don’t want to advertise here, but can you drop hints? Titles? Author names? Clues the size of the Texan border considering I’d be more likely to catch a cold than a hint?
Life is not treating me well at the moment work wise. So much so that I have changed my ringtone to Thomas Benjamin srumming his banjo and giving absolutely no more…. well you get it.
Good luck to you, and thanks for slogging through it all to provide us with our much needed escape.
We’re all sitting with you on the fussy bench. Hope there is plenty of space. 😉
You’re not alone!!!! Mmreeeeeargh.
I feel your Mubble Fubbles! I was recently laid off of my job of 10 years and find myself at a lost. I would love to go to school, but what I really cant decide what I want to be when I grow up, LOL I’m a 43 years old and dont feel grown up yet. For what its worth Thank you for giving me something to look forward to, as well as giving me my comfort Reads in the KD Series and Hidden Legacy.
Well, my mubble-fubbles have been laid to rest thanks to this post.
I hope Kid 2’s book helps with yours.
I can’t tell you how much I look forward to this blog. I jump on it everytime to read it and the comments.
I am NOT normally a blog reader, but yours is fabulous.
Thank you a million times for the laughs you share even in the midst of your mubble-fubbles. I hope you are feeling more cheer soon.
Take care of yourself.
Hug and mubble-fubble hugs. (It’s just so much fun to say…)
I’m finally starting to come out of the winter blues due to the turn of the clock which means more daylight. Also, I’ve started my seeds, and I have tiny plants popping up.
idk what kind of games you’re into but maybe try ones where you can hit stuff? I really liked god of war. wonderful story, you don’t need to know the previous story from the original games 20 years ago, and you can rage out and tear monsters apart with your bare hands.
the story is a heartbreaker though. a man and his son on a journey to spread some ashes as a last request from the deceased.
hope your blahs pass soon
Woke up in the mood today. I have major cervical surgery scheduled in April and last night was a rough one for my neck. Woke up, headache, neck ache, nauseous, said screw it, and went back to sleep. Finally got up a 6:00 to get ready for work, swallowed 2 Tylenol and took a very hot shower, got to work at 8:00 (1 hour late). Still in the same mood, still in the same pain (even after 2 Advil to go with the Tylenol). Tonight, Frito Pie and bed. Mmreeeeeargh
Fingers crossed on your meds. I hate it when insurance things they know more than your doctor. Mmreeeeeargh
This post from the Very British Problems facebook page about covers the way this year is starting: “January lasted about eight years and now it’s March in a fortnight even though February started yesterday.”
awwww hugs and gentle pats to you Illona! I want you to take a break and maybe be crotchety for a week or so. You deserve it! It would be okay to reduce the frequency of the Roman serial, you know. That is the one thing in that list that I can think of that has some flexibility. I hope you get to hiss, pull your upper lip back, and generally pout today. And tomorrow :p It will be good to let it out!
I had Covid last January (2023) and had the mubble-fubbles most of the year. I’ve decided to chalk it up to Covid. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Mubble-fubble seem to have run it’s course and I have been surprisingly creative since about Thanksgiving, even without the pressure of a job (retired), deadlines, family, pets, weather (San Diego has no weather), business, and the BDH.
Hang in there. This, too, shall pass.
Susan
I absolutely empathize and sympathize. Try to find some recovery time! I couldn’t move for the last two weeks after a bout (well the lung thing is still here) with some damn virus that nailed me– coughed till my back went out. Went to my whatever he is, brilliant Chiro + and he said- adrenals. wiped out. Gave me something and 2 days later I am sort of up and running. Not just zoning and napping. So you need recovery .
We love you, we love your writing. we love that you find time to do this , is it a blog anymore? Im old and don’t know the new speak.
Sending blessings of various varieties.
Still a blog, yes 🙂
As the crazy cat lady (12!) and a vet I have had quite a few allergic kitties. My poor Amelia will go hairless and vomit daily. So she is on prednisolone, as most super allergic cats are. Her motto is ” no daily pred = puke in bed”, lol. When the gloomy greyness descends, I take a moment to list all the things that are great (12 cats!) wonderful (2 horses!) and bring me happiness (books to read, fabric to sew quilts). But griping is good, too, along with venting, good for the heart and soul.
But I think you have all my happy items beat by THE HUSBAND WHO CLEANS!! That’s like my ultimate romantic ideal!
Ikr? The Husband Who Cleans could be a whole thing😉 Come on BDH!
Can I post picture here? Just want to show you my christmas tree…the fact that I can take a picture lets you know…it is still up…all the mubble fubbles. I usually never keep the tree up past new year. Some weeks just end up like that. I don’t worry too much.Things will turn around again at some point. Like, next week, please!
no photos, I’m afraid. But a total yes on things turning around!
Well, spring is on the way, or at least it is closer than fall right now. That keeps be positive. I, too, just recently put away my Tree. Seems like every “little” project I need to do rolls (at least in my mind) into a much longer project….which then delays the whole mess. Think, put away Christmas decor…becomes, inventory and discard or distribute items in anticipation of future me being too old to do it.
So then I am tired looking/thinking about it, and avoid that room.
But spring is now closer than Christmas!
Keep smilin’ and whining’ , it’s good for all of us and makes us appreciate you even more!
You are not alone in your mubble-fubbles.
Perhaps you have a mild case of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). I always have trouble with motivation and mood in the winter months. If it is part of your problem then sitting in front of a special light box about 20 minutes per day can really help. The wave length of light you need to enter your eyes is not available in the winter months and the light box helps with that. At the time I was diagnosed my health insurance helped pay for it from the Sun Box Company. Good luck and hopefully you will feel better soon.
My kid gives the best advice. He says, “Go outside.” And he is right. It almost always lifts the depression. Also, today (Valentine’s Day) is perfect weather in Texas for gardening. Try it. Pull some weeds. Give every weed a name.
Insurance is a PITA. I am so sorry you have to pay out of pocket. I have one med they are not covering with my new insurance. I am not buying it either. I am lucky it is not a lifesaving drug, just a drug that makes my life easier. Huggs to both of you.
I hear you 🫥
I am so sorry you have such a shitty health care system. At least all medication for diabetes and cancer is free here. It’s not perfect, not by a long shot, but it does help some people with what they couldn’t otherwise afford.
I really really feel you with the mubble wubbles. I actually had to break down and admit I was ‘depressed’ as I kept putting off catching up with my two dearest friends (one is 2 states away, the other 2 counties) by telephone after Christmas until….two weeks ago.
As for health insurance companies!!!
My 87 yo mother was in the hospital for 8 days in October after fainting at the breakfast table. Her blood sugar was all over the place, but they stabilized it in the acceptable zone for 48 hrs and sent her home. The hospital ruled out the usual, (pancreas, mass-in-pancreas, plain-old diabetes, etc) but suggested that we follow up with an endocrinologist, which we did.
Mom is in the pre-diabetes zone. The NP endocrinologist (NP-nurse practitioner) kindly gave us a sample CGM (Continuous Glucose Monitor) which we fell in love with! (patch that’s worn 10 days continuously even in the shower, or finger prick all day long–what do you think?) Blood sugar gets low, Mom gets sweets, high Mom gets protein and water. No more fainting and overall feeling better.
Health insurance company would NOT pay for it (she’s not ‘diabetic). So I paid out-of-pocket but the maker had lots of suggestions on bringing down the cost, including using goodRX which cut the cost by 40% (thank you!).
During open enrollment (10 hours of excruciating comparison, item by item, service by service, of Medicare Advantage programs) I was able to switch her to a lower cost, yet more comprehensive coverage plan (how does THAT happen?).
Just got the first 3 month refill of 2024, out-of-pocket cost, $0.00.
It seems that the updated 2024 drug formulary for this plan includes coverage at the pre-diabetic stage.
I’m grateful but this stuff is just crazy-making.
I am so sorry you have the somethings. I would whine too. The part about the cat cracks me up tho. I wish you many future good moods.you deserve it for all the joy you bring me. Thx.
In ” I am too unmotivated to even say the word ‘unmotivated’ ” kind of years, my friends and I have come up with a game. Once a week we hop on Telegram as we stumble out of bed in our own personal version of zombie mode and the first person functional enough to describe their mood posts it. The mood can be anything: a meme, a cartoon, a word, a sentence, a sound… whatever. The rest of us spend the day wandering through various dictionaries in multiple languages to find ways to describe that mood in one word. While we are creating our list of words, the persona with the mood of the day has to describe her day in a couple of paragraphs. At the end of the day we play Madlibs using her story and our word list. Hilarity ensues.
The struggles are real. Mubble-Fubbles are a thing. I took my tree down mid January and the gift wrap bin is still in the guest bedroom, waiting to be sorted.
I appreciate how hard you work. Thank you for providing me and the BDH with hours of reading enjoyment. Thank you for continuing to give the gift of your creativity and persistence.
Please give yourself some much needed self care. Thank you
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So sorry about the mubble-fubbles Before you do another appeal, the Patient Advocate Foundation. patientadvocate.org They’ll help, no charge. Really helpful staff.
My tree is still up. It’s a little thing that was all I could muster the energy for this year. I did manage to get it new shiny ornaments though! It’s a painted metalwork sculpture with places to hang ornaments from. Usually it’s set outside with lights wrapping the porch and a real tree inside with blinking Christmas themed mini lights in the non-working fireplace and lots of stuff around. But we are short staffed at work (by unanimous vote as our small team would rather work longer hours than deal with incompetent or unpleasant co-workers.) I made the decision to sleep instead of decorate more than the tree & a few traditional knickknacks that give me the happies when I see them. Best gift I could have given myself this year. Hoping that next year I’ll be able to get back to going all out.
On the other hand, I work outside and yesterday it was light out until 6! Squee!!!! And my paper whites have bloomed and the daffodils are started to open. So I wish you all a reset of rest, time for yourselves & a happy flower
Sending love and positive vibes your way Ilona.
I learned early in life never to make a life-changing decision in February. Life-changing like leaving home, cutting my hair, buying anything expensive. It is a month of ill intentions and pure aggravation. Only two weeks and one extra day until March. All will be well!
Mubble-Fubbles: I had those for 5 years, today is the first day in a LONG time I have felt “good” and “normal”…. I recently upped my HRT oestrogen levels… omg what you don’t know.. what you don’t know. I have gone from a high anxiety, feeling bad about myself every five minutes person… to today I feel “normal” so much so, I noticed it.. many women of a certain age, do not realise the impact of “hormone withdrawl” and how it impacts all aspects of our lives, mental, physical and general wellbeing. I feel so good I’m thinking of booking a trip overseas, which I haven’t really felt in the last five years…. so yeah.. Hormones the one thing that the medical industry doesn’t want us to have, because it fixes all the symptoms they try to give us ‘other medications” for…
I give free hug cards to my staff mates for whenever they need a hug..card not needed. I have been told by my boss that I give good mom hugs so I am sending a virtual hug (( )). Sometimes all we need is a hug.
Did you wake on the wrong side of the bed today? Still it could be the Heebie Jeebies. But if you feel it is more than you can shake a stick at, try going bananas or painting the town red. Every cloud has a silver lining. Time for a sharp exit before you decide I am taking the piss. As if I would.
Hope the day improved.
Thanks for a great new word. You have a lot on your plate,… maybe we should say platter? Hope you can disconnect for a few days. Sending good vibes your way.
I reread your post. I see you have insurance but have you price checked with GoodRX? It is a free program and saves me a lot of money on my meds. I asked a prior pharmacy clerk why my meds changed prices every month (something about contracts) but my pricing is stable with Good RX. Just thought I’d mention it.
++1
My daughter has used prescription Rx she saved $110 just recently on one script.
My mom calls the pharma manufacturer and gets discounts 🤷🏽♀️
Do you have a nice park near-by? Sometimes when we get that way, the husband and I go to a lovely park down town next to a big lake and just sit on one of the big, 2-person chair swings. sometimes we take a simple lunch. An hour of just sitting there, looking at the lake and the birds, etc. and all the tension drains away. It’s like a mini vacation that makes you feel you are ready to tackle the to-do list, and the relaxation will probably last so you will probably get some much needed rest that night.
On the other subject, Going vegan for a while has the potential to lower cholesterol and reverse type 2 diabetes. It has helped us, medically, and weight-wise a lot. Our PC Dr. is amazed. At 78 I am never sick and take no medications. It really has helped.
Take special care of yourself and if we have to miss a week of the wonderful serial, I think every one of us will cheer you on and understand, more than you can imagine.
Sorry to hear that all your days are turning out mubble fubble. I’ve been really sad and grumpy for a few months now then had a lovely iron infusion ten days ago and I’m starting to feel all bright eyed and bushy tailed. Mind you I have been bitten / stung by a spider on my neck so grumpiness is resurgent. It’s going to be at least 112 degrees F here today so I don’t have enough words to describe my envy over your deliciously cold weather. Kisses for the allergic cat and virtual hugs for his owner. I lived with an allergic dog for seventeen years and it was very hard work.
The mubble-fubbles! That’s what I have, is it contagious? We pulled all the outdoor furniture into our sunroom because of a high wind weather alert. That was over a month ago🥺
I’d also like to get this off my chest; whats with all the littering lately? I can’t even😞
I realise it doesn’t help either of us one bit, but I’m in much the same boat and have been for the last month or so. Right now I have the writing capacity of a potato, and it suuuuuuuucks. Hopefully our communal mubble-fubbles will mubble-fubble somewhere else soon, and we can get back to feeling like people again.
re: unsolicited cat advice
limited ingredient cat food can help a lot.
https://freelypet.com/collections/dry-food-for-cats
and Rawz wet food rabbit and rabbit/pumpkin.
https://rawznaturalpetfood.com/product/96-rabbit-pumpkin-pate/
About the diabetes meds – make sure you have a good endocrinologist do the appeal for you. For mine, the ins company also had to have something called a pre-approval (which the endo office also took care of). Also, for the one I’m on, there’s a Facebook group, “Ozempic Support group – diabetes only” that is very, very helpful for advice on things like this (and lots of other matters like controlling side effects, other ways to bring costs down without insurance, etc). If you’re on a different one, there’s probably a similar group. It’s apparently become very common for the insurance companies to try to stop paying for pricy drugs once your A1c comes down. It’s insane.
My lil brother got over to the homestead (I live with Mom), and took down the Xmas lights Jan 28.
I didn’t get the last boxes of Xmas decorations into the basement until Feb 7.
I feel you.
Right now, I’ve screwed up two dresses I was sewing, and haven’t touched them in two days. I put neckline trim on a third, but it’s too tight because I decided I knew what I was doing and it didn’t need pinned, just sewn. Mistake.
And now I’ve got 30min before I have to leave for work on the Bookmobile, going to a Church School where the kids have me biting my tongue because I’m not supposed to yell at them for their lack of Bookmobile Ettiquette.
Please do no jump on your local bookmobile, I don’t care how excited you are you found a Dogman/Pokemon/Minecraft/Lego book.
BDH? Please support your local librarians. We are NOT Ok.
Thank you for being a Bookmobile librarian! The Bookmobile would park at the end of our leafy suburban block every other Tuesday. It was sheer heaven, not least because it was air-conditioned in summer (this was the 60s and 70s; window units if that at home). I still remember the smell and sound of it, and the feel of it as you boarded and stepped off, and the *books*. Bookmobiles rock! And so do librarians.
The first quarter of the year is so bleak. I blame the dearth of sunlight and personal tribe-oriented celebrations. I hope your scarf brings you sparkly joy and that you can find a nice, sunny corner to help dispel some of the mubble-fubbles.
Also, our healthcare system really needs to be rebooted.
Ilona
Really good vent !
I enjoyed it , related to it could have added to it but it was your vent !
Mubble-fubbles. That’s my life right now.
My cat used to get eosinophilic ulcers and itchy skin. He had food allergy problems. My Vet prescribed Zyrtec for him and it worked very well. If I forgot to give him his medicine, he parked in front of me and stared and muttered at me until I got up and got his pill. It’s worth asking your Vet about.
I am feeling just like this. I have no idea why, it’s like the post Christmas blues just never went away.
I think we’re gonna need a bigger fussy bench.
I love tea, and normally drink at least several mugs a day. Unfortunately, my Mubble-Fubbles are accompanied by ennui and exhaustion, regardless of how much sleep I have. I have therefore replaced tea with 20 ounce thermoses of Coffee. I look like Bill-the-Cat after a 3-day bender.
I would bring cookies, but I’m too tired to make them. Hopefully, HEB will deliver to our bench. I can order online as long as they either get eaten or someone else puts them away.
I offer you accolades for all you have accomplished. Maggie, Roman, taxes and keeping your house clean are not insignificant actions.
I therefore submit you for the Texas Yee Haw and WTG awards for doing so much when you feel so blah.
I have MS (multiple sclerosis). January – February is my own personal hell. This time of the year is when I have day after day of debilitating fatigue (and other MS fun times) and it usually overlaps with a lot of stress at work. If I could take these 2 months off every year, I would go into a deep slumber and wake up in the spring with the bears.
Tell them that you are going to file a complaint with these people. I did that in NJ with their version and had the last of some surgery bills paid after months of complaining.
The Texas Department of Insurance
Have an Insurance Complaint? The Texas Department of Insurance can help you with insurance problems, complaints, and questions. We’d also encourage you to file your complaint with us, the Office of the Attorney General’s Consumer Protection Division.
Insurance | Office of the Attorney General
https://www.texasattorneygeneral.gov/consumer-protection/financial-and-insurance-scams/insurance#:~:text=Have%20an%20Insurance%20Complaint%3F,problems%2C%20complaints%2C%20and%20questions.&text=We'd%20also%20encourage%20you,Attorney%20General's%20Consumer%20Protection%20Division.
For Oliver: My younger cat (16) has really bad allergies and we tried all the things the vet said…special food etc, and then I thought if it was me and diet change didn’t work I’d go see an alternative practitioner, so now my cat goes to the veterinarian chiropractor and the veterinarian Accupuncturist and her allergies are better but she’s still on the special diet.
I respect Kid 2’s choice, admire it, for deciding not to associate her name with her very famous parents’ right at the debut. But. But there are so many wonderful books released that, for whatever reason, don’t get mainstream visibility. People might initially visit because of the beloved, familiar author hook but they’d only stay because the book and the writing and the story itself got them so hooked they couldn’t let go….I wish her all the luck and hope I get to read it soon. Could do with some hilarity right about now.
Have you ever wondered if you have some level of season depression due to lack of sun. I say this as someone who used to struggle from Nov -Marchish.
I did a few things (maybe it is all in my head or maybe it works but who cares either way):
– I got a grounding mat to put at my desk – sounds woo woo I know but I spend a lot of time barefoot outside in warmer months and it seemed to help decompress me when it is too cold to walk around barefoot outside.
– I also got a Happy Light off Amazon and started using it 20-30 min a day.
Anyway it sucks when you get in a funk.
Remember to give yourself positive self talk. You are doing amazing things right now and sure it isn’t all perfect but what a journey it is.
P.S. Make blankets if it makes you happy and thank you for all the words you put to paper, your words are one of the things that helps me when I feel down and need a little pick me up.
Good job Robin! I often tell my patients about “Happy Light” as there are reputable studies showing improvement of seasonal affective disorder symptoms using 10,000 lux lights daily. Thats the key, the strength of light has to hit 10,000 lux to be effective, and Happy Light is one of a couple of companies providing these tools. 🙂
The cat that breaks you is so relatable. I have a dog that broke me.
I love dogs. Puppies, oldsters and everything in-between. I have my own and I foster. Did I say I love them?
My last foster-fail is a medium-sized pitbull mix. I fostered her and gave her up for adoption. They brought her back because she has seizures. She was fine while I had them so I wondered if they did something to her. Probably not. She was at the age where they start.
At first, it was once a month. Then more often, until it was every few days. This while getting 10 pills of three different meds twice a day and a prescription food. She costs me roughly $200/month.
To make it worse, my other dog – my heart dog and her best friend – would lose her mind and try to kill her when it happened. The other dog is a rottweiler so it wasn’t a small problem. I could never leave them alone, even to go to the bathroom.
Trainers told me the kill instinct couldn’t be trained out of her and I would have to re-home one of them. It wasn’t going to be my heart-dog that I’ve had since she was the worst puppy in the world and no one was going to adopt a special-needs pitbull. Abandoning the pittie in a shelter wasn’t an option, either. So the pitbull will be loved for the rest of her life and I will mourn her when she is gone but will also be relieved.
After her, I think I’m done.
I also have had the saga of insurance denying medication that actually works. Not sure if it helps at all, but my physician encouraged me to order from Canada. She sent me links of reputable pharmacies and emailed me her rx. I went online, ordered, uploaded the rx, and have had the loveliest customer service calls. Also, the medication was $465, while in the U.S. it’s over a thousand. For me this breaks down to $100/mo for the dose of medication I am currently using. I think providers (as I myself am one) need to start thinking outside of the box until we have a better healthcare system. Hope you don’t mind the unsolicited advice!
I will join you on the fussy bench and bring potato chips with onion dip. The tree is down but the holiday containers have yet to get to their storage place in the garage. My last parent died a month in November and I am busy trying to settle the estate and starting a 2nd job in Jan. My goals are to keep the other humans & animals in house fed & mostly clean. All the rest can go hang.
Hmm… Can cats get mast cell activation syndrome? That’s allergic to life in a nutshell and sounds very similar in everyday life…
Thanks for this witty real-life post! I’d better go preorder Magic Pays… now while I’m thinking about it. I like this title better than the real one ^_^
I mean “Magic Pays for Diabetes Supplies.” <3. So clever!
My new favourite word in English mubble fubbles! I think february is the most depressing month of the year. Christmas gone , the weather usually bad…
I have an uplifting poem by Goethe ( that helps me when i recite it):
Auch das ist Kunst, ist Gottes Gabe
aus ein paar sonnenhellen Tagen
sich soviel Licht ins Herz zu tragen
das wenn der Sommer längst verweht
das Leuchten immer noch besteht.
For nongerman speakers 😉
It is an art, a gift of God
to carry so much light into your heart
from a few days of light
that when summer is long gone
you still have the light in you
Sorry Goethe for the bad translation but i hope you get the meaning.
Wish you a lot of sunny days and a good solution for your diabetic medication