Gordon collects action figures. (Please don’t send him any. He already has pretty much everything.) When a new package arrives to the house, he almost always informs me that the purchase is a “preorder.” As in, it wasn’t a recent splurge, but something that was paid for long ago.
I don’t care if it’s preorder or not. My husband can buy all the action figures he wants. In fact, I recently bought a new shelf for him so his collection can be better displayed. But for some reason he persists with the preorder label. It’s become a thing. When I bring his packages in, I announce it as “Honey, your preorders are here.”
I haven’t been buying yarn lately. First I’m 86% into cross stitching project, according to my app. Second, we were super busy trying to finish the “novella.” Third, I have reviewed the state of my craft room and had a serious talk with myself regarding the fact that I do truly have enough yarn.
However, as Magic Claims drew to a close, I kept seeing these beautiful yarn advertisements on Facebook, and I finally gave in and ordered some yarn from a shop I’ve never ordered anything from before called Yarn Love. I used my incognito work email for it. I have two work addresses, and they are the only email inboxes I check on regular basis because that’s my life. One address has all the bells and whistles, with a link back to website and #1 NYT Bestselling Author and all that. The address I used has nothing to indicate what we do, no links, no website mention. The signature just reads Ilona Andrews.
The yarn arrived today and none too soon. I had to go to the doctor last week for a minor medical thing and when they took my blood pressure, it was 130/90 which is a shocking number for me. We’ve been going there for years, and I’m never over 120/80. So I am under strict doctor orders to relax.
The state of our roof and our yard might be a contributing factor. Roofers are hammering, and every time they pound on the roof or walk by, the dogs go ballistic. And you can’t correct that behavior because we do want them to go ballistic if strange people start making loud noises. Also, Texas is so pretty right now and we are stuck inside because the back yard and the front yard are a war zone.
So my yarn arrives. I inform Gordon that it’s my preorder and open it up. It is gorgeous.
There is a card. How nice.
I flip it over.
You can find this yarn and many others at Yarn Love website.
Slight confession and pro tip: If it arrives from Ebay, it’s probably not a legit pre-order. Example, Jakks Pacific Rocky III Clubber Lang in street gear, you know, from the infamous “Hey Woman!” scene. Not a pre-order but it was a bit of a grail and is going on the shelf, unopened, out of respect.
I have a coworker who collects Star Wars Lego kits. True collector; has a special room for them, doesn’t open them, etc. Does occasionally buy duplicates so he can open one and assemble it, such as the smaller Millenium Falcon. He has the $800 larger one that’s unopened.
I need stickers for all my packages – either ones that say “Pre-order” or “Congratulations on winning!” ????
Stick with it, Gordon! My husband knows very well that all dead tree books that arrive are either pre-orders or out of print*. All of them. Even when I’ve bought two copies because the printing is gorgeous and I set one aside for emergency forgotten birthday/get well gift. I’m just thinking ahead.
___
*Your eBay purchases would fall under “out of print.
Awww, some of the love you put in the world came back! ????
I love this. Some of the love you put into the world came back. What a very nice thought, for the rest of the day.
❤️❤️❤️ Love this quote!
+1
The BDH, we are everywhere !
Very pretty yarn, kind of makes me wish I knitted or crocheted.
Jip jip lol
Squishy mail is some of the best mail. I have a few subscription going (one for Destination Lane, and Fat Quarter’s Shop Sew Sampler box), and I was considering cutting back, but I know that a majority of my enjoyment out of getting them is the surprise of getting something new each month.
Gorgeous yarn and wonderful note!
The BDH. We. Are. Everywhere.
Stunning yarn.
????????????????????
You can’t hide from the BDH if you use your real name.
Beautiful yarn!
lol yes you are that well known and your stories are great
Ilona Andrews and yarn. Probably wasn’t that hard to figure out it was you and not another Ilona Andrews.
Ilona Andrews and action figures might get you unnoticed, but if it’s yarn or tea you should expect to be recognized.
Face it, you’s a celebrity!
That is gorgeous yarn. I would be compelled to buy it even though I don’t knit or crochet.
PS: I am not that Katie.
That’s so cute. Love the yarn. Wondering what the colourways for the other March sisters looks like now.
As someone else with way too much yarn and fabric I am not going to look. Also overseas shipping is ridiculous.
Enjoy!
OMG, ILOVE it!
Not the roofing and woofing, the notoriety even unto yarn orders. Your photo rxn is priceless too. Thanks for making me smile and laugh on a grey Monday after dental surgery. You and Gordon are awesome, plain and simple 😀
You can run but you can’t hide from the BDH.
All I can say is, Busted!!
Surely that adoring message will help your blood pressure. ???? That together with the beautiful yarn should be just the ticket. ????
This is the best! Bahahahaha! (Also, I too have PLENTY of yarn but now I neeeeeeeeed some Yarn Love!)
Awww that just made my day- such a small world and love the funny selfie at the end. Really sorry about all the construction!
Ok, now I am going to have to check out this website and their yarn even though I also have more than enough yarn to last me (and I constantly spin more…).
This is a big brother moment… BDH style!
????
At least it was a cute message!
Ahhhhh
Thank he surprise of being a famous author ????
Raises cheeky eyebrow at the God of Falling Short. You have bestsellers in multiple languages. People buy them and like them. A lot of people buy your books and audiobooks.
If anything, the BDH gets a kick out of how you think people won’t recognize the name. I can only hope someone in the action figure world geeks out at seeing Gordon’s order.
Will the yarn become a shawl?
Nothing is better for your health than receiving love.
The BDH will always recognize you and send love.
No no no! I do NOT need another source to buy yarn! I do not…need…um, that’s a hand-dyed superwash merino you say?
LOLOLOLOL. BDH unite!!! The yarn (and shop) is gorgeous – I hope you enjoy it.
“BDH unite!” made me think of the Wonder Twins. Yarn powers activate!
that yarn is beautiful AND dyed to your work! how cool is that!
Bwhahahahaha Your face was so epic. The Hoard. The Hoard will find you. Lol I’m sorry for your moment there. But ….. it’s a tribute to your greatness really….. ????????????
Thank you for sharing your pain.
Fan mail from the wilds! You need a scrapbook. My yard went from 80’s and blooming, to, um… it’s snowing.
A pregnant ????
I so needed this laugh today! Precious look on Ilona’s face! LOL
What beautiful yarn colours! The yarn name makes me think of Grand Canyon layers and sky. Gotta adore that handwritten note. It is true, the BDH is global ????.
Random thing – (I’m hoping I’ve hooked a good acquaintance into starting the KD world by mentioning werewolves, post apocalyptic & vampires. He’d ordered first book on Amazon before the end of my fervent speech. Mind you, it helps that he was World of Warcraft eons ago & geeking over some new edition of another game.)
More of us! More of us! ????
You will be assimilated.
From one artist to another! How lovely.
Merino wool is the best. Happy weaving.
About a year ago, Ilona posted some pics of the “Yarn Wall” and was kind enough to share where she ordered the vinyl “wood looking” cubes for said yarn. I immediately went to Amazon and ordered a set.
Confession – all those empty cubes – they are full, the one with the afghan and the other with ornaments…yup those too – more yarn.
And now looking at your pretty new yarn…I must have the precious!!! I need to add more cubes!!!
Thanks for the laughter on a crazy Monday at work!
Opps, the pic didn’t come thru – try again
For shame. You’re underutilizing cube space. I see several cubes that aren’t full and you have space on the top of the unit. You need to buy some more.
Tink,
I did, this was last summer’s picture shortly after I set it up. All The Cubes are full and yes across the top as well!
But I still need more yarn…
Just saying…LOL
He He He. ‘no one expects the BDH! our chief weapon is a fearful devotion to consuming IA…and a love of snark. our two weapons are devotion&snark…and a love of mod R…..’ ( with all respects to Monty Python). Gordon can’t have all action figures, he needs to collect the ‘great composers of the world ‘ action figures, especially that classic, Brahms and Tchaikovsky figures in a death struggle….*lol* ( Tchaikovsky hated Brahms, said he was an untalented SOB *lol*,)
sometimes you just have to reevaluate your craft room, craft room closet, basement, spare room closet and give yourself a talking to. I totally get it.
I recently went through my craft room and sorted my pine needles, yes half of them i’ve picked up from the ground, but i have a lot of pine needles sorted, dyed and bundled, i’m getting ready to make more pine needle baskets. sigh. can’t wait. But i don’t need any more needles until i use the ones i have, or at least half of them……
That is gorgeous yarn! I am going to take the “pre-order” now, so I don’t have to tell the hubby exactly how much everything is. lol
Awwwww, and her name is Katie!
Glad you treated yourself, you both deserve it. Hope your roof turns out well.
Love this!! ❤️
The BDH is everywhere! Remember when you called the Orpheum Theater in Omaha and found a fan there? =)
Wow! Nice card and even nicer yarn! SWMBO has recently acquired yarn from Hobii (I guess that’s the name from Denmark or somesuch) which is also nice. I love it when she receives her pre-orders and I encourage her to preorder frequently!
Since my preorder of kits for seam rippers and crochet hooks has arrived, I need to get my shop in order, cast more resin, and get handles made!
All my spring shoe purchases are henceforth known as preorders.
First, please share pics of your project in progress. Second, wouldn’t you love to know what the yarn on the card is? Third, I’m with Katie on the audiobooks!
To my untrained eye, it seems to be similar to this on their catalogue https://www.yarnloveyarn.com/collections/in-stock-yarn/products/heavy-weight
<3
The BDH is everywhere!! Hoping the yarn helps with stress and the roof is finished soon
Yes. You are famous. Can you imagine how excited Katie was to get your order? What beautiful yarn!
I keep wearing my tshirts hoping to find another BDH near me but none yet! But yes maam you’re going to have to use a made up name for us to not recognise you.
My husband also collects action figures and cards. Now that we are in our forever house, he has ramped up the ordering. The youngest (our maker of games) is giving points to who can guess whats in Dads mail! Its either Rodiumus Prime/Hot Rod from transmformers, Gundam models or Magic The Gathering cards. Sometimes its a Star trek card though those are rarer and we get an extra 10 points if it is one of those and we guessed correctly. You cannot read the package either, so most days I cant even play because I’m the one that brings it inside.
Hilarious. You thought you’d be incognito. I am truly laughing myself silly. You’re so cute! Psst Valerie is not my legal name. I use it, I am called Valerie by friends and acquaintances but I have my legal name email address and noted as my sending address for the important stuff. Like ordering online.
Blood pressure: over the weekend I heard beets help. The chewy/gummy type beets you find in the vitamin aisle of a store, was suggested
Totally unrelated – but BDH not on Facebook (if such beast exist) should know:
There’s a brand new Magic Bites review on Tor.com at https://www.tor.com/2023/04/17/master-of-the-craft-ilona-andrews-magic-bites/
(and no, I am not the M. with the narrator punishing question)
???? It’s a great article and completely right!
What a day for puting love into the world this has been. Hope the whole Horde is basking in it!
+100!! on the article.
Yes! It popped up on my Google feed. At first I thought it was a blog post but nope. It was a good article, very complimentary and all the things we love about your writing. And I noticed comments from some BDHers too ;).
And written by the wonderful Judith Tarr!
I have a shawl that’s been in time-out because one of the color choices was…well…bad and I’ve been thinking about getting a different color.
yeah, “blood orange” is the right color. think I’ll order some of that and untimeout the shawl…
P.S. for Gordon: action figures for your book characters? Just a thought. I have a 3D printer to get you started
You’d have to have two figures for the shape shifters. Not sure I could figure it out for them to be transformative. Hmmmmmmm
LOL