Some days a reasonable cup of tea with a single tea bag is enough. And some days, like today, you open a tin of good Ceylon tea a friend sent you and make the whole tea pot. Today is that day for many reasons. Now I shall rant.
As you know, I’ve been working on a cowl/hood thing for my husband. It’s turned to be huge and labor intensive. I could’ve finished a sweater by now. I am nearing the end, however, and so a few days ago, I was puzzled when I found it on the floor and this little zaraza sitting on it.
Long story short, I had to frog (unravel) about 12 rows. Then yesterday I realized that when I picked up the stitches late at night after unfrogging, I messed up and my cable became 7 stitches wide instead of 8. And I had knitted another ten rows, so I had to frog that.
In the process I lost my stitch markers. Stitch markers are little metal or plastic loops that you thread on the needle so you can easily keep up with the pattern without counting stitches all the time.
Since things went rather poorly, I decided to do a little shopping therapy and buy some super cute stitch markers. I found adorable stitch markers on Etsy, but everything I wanted was in UK and the shipping cost as much as the markers.
I didn’t like the US markers, so I decided it couldn’t be that hard to make my own. I googled how to make your own stitch markers and came up with this video.
Now this lady is probably a very nice lady and she is probably just trying to entertain her viewers and get the maximum ad placement from YouTube, and I am grateful for the tutorial and also I am mean, but holy hell, this is a 20 minute video.
Let me save you 18 minutes: you need beading wire, colorful beads, wire cutters, little tiny metal crimping beads and crimping tool that you can buy at Michaels or online. You make a loop with the wire large enough for your needle, thread a crimping bead on it, and squish it with a tool. The bead binds the wire together. Add your beads, put the second crimping bead on, squish, cut the ends. Done.
How did this become 20 minutes?
Lately every tutorial on Youtube is 10 minutes long. If I am playing Assassin Creed Odyssey and googling how to kill a guy in Thebes, I end up with a roster of videos titled “How to kill the guy in Thebes.” The first video starts in Athens. The second video shows the character hunting wolves. The third one starts on a separate quest. I just want to murder a politician in Thebes! That’s all I want. I don’t need a ten minute tour of ancient Greece.
I realize I am complaining about free tutorials, and I do not repent. When I watch The Knit Girrls podcast, I want to be entertained, so if they go off into the woods, I am totally there for it. When I am accessing tutorials, I am looking for specific information. If I look up how to knit a particular stitch, and the video starts with “Wut R Needles?” I am going to look for a new one or fast forward. Because life is short. So there.
I’ve gotten it off my chest now.
I don’t do any of that for my markers! Truly! I using fishing line and beads! SO easy! No wire, no loop, I can use as many or as few beads as I like, make them as big or as small as I like! And they’re cute AND inexpensive.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azykwJc0uK0
That is so clever! One of those hacks where you think why didn’t I think of that!
Why? Why would you do this to me? Now I have to make these, because they sound easy and fun and I have all the stuff for it already…and I don’t knit! *Sigh* And here I was going to have a free night tonight. Oh, well 🙂
I used to knit a bit and had no idea these things existed. I wish I had known. My sister knits, though; maybe I can pawn the ones I make off on her! Thank-you for the fun crafting idea 😀
I know! I don’t knit, but I thought about wine glass charms. I’ve bought those before as gifts and they’re not cheap, yet look how easy they’d be to make! Should have figured that out for myself. *sheepish*
Oh, hey – I should make a set for the zendo, since they’re always complaining about not being able to tell whose cup is whose since I made them stop using the plastic cups with name tags on them.*
…of course, I should put difference Chinese characters for important zen concepts on each one, thereby ensuring that they still can’t tell them apart.
* This is a simplification. They can use them all they want, I just hate washing them, and they kept leaving them by my sink.
You don’t use the plastic cups? Stack ’em up and put ’em back in the cabinet. Unwashed. But make sure to keep your cup out of reach!
*twitch twitch*
It’s my kitchen! Okay, technically zendo plates and cups have their own cabinet, but mess in kitchens bug me. Of course, this is how I ended up doing everyone’s dishes despite being the only decent cook my first year and a half out on my own… The zendo has been really great, but moving to NC, getting a pair of cats, and being BitchQueen of my own space has a lot of appeal.
I feel the same way about recipes! If I’m looking for a spaghetti recipe, for example, I don’t need the history of pasta or all the reasons why your family loves this recipe. I am a big fan of websites that feature a button at the top to jump straight to the recipe.
+1 Yes!!! I have so many recipe blogs I love, but slogging through 10 pages of filler is exhausting. I love their recipes, but I wanted to make that lemon asparagus risotto tonight please.
+1 and omg the ads! I just want the freaking recipe!
Yes !!! Especiallybthe instapot recipes, the blog takes more time to read than to make the actual meal.
I like a little paragraph or two of background information. I do enjoy reading that, at least sometimes. I used to read cookbooks just for that kind of stuff. Very interesting to me. But, more than a paragraph or two can very often and very easily be too much, and please, please, please, tie the the paragraphs together with the recipe, don’t give me a War and Peace length story and then pop a completely unrelated recipe on the bottom of it. Argh.
OMG, yes. I clicked through to comment. And I don’t need a video or pictures of the in between stage or blocks of text about how you added flour here. All I want is the ingredients and rough instructions. I know how to add flour/toss X in flour/flour a pan.
I am sooooo sorry. My cats killed one of my last few lace blanket square on the blanket I was making my Mil for Christmas. I had to rip the entire square out and start over.
Squee I love that you watch the Knit Girllls! They absolutely love you. That’s how I discovered KD.
I think for context you have to give them the song by Tripod. We know what it means but they may not. Warning NSFW. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZKc574LnBM
I was looking for the song in the post when I read the title. <3 Amazing song.
Wow! Hilarious! I’ve never heard them before, but I might have instantly fell in love when they declared A New Hope perfect.
I didn’t get the reference and I’m seriously glad that I clicked on that link ?? (Also thanks for the Twitter follow Gordon, made my day!)
??? My little one (5yrs old) and my husband have bonded over Godzilla. SO the husband thought he would let him watch King Kong, he has tried about once a month and the poor kid has not been able to sit for it. All he ever sees are people in a city no King Kong no Trex like on the box… ??.
My husband said to tell you, “Get to the f’ing lizard! (Shin Godzilla reference)”
+1
??
Many thanks, Gordon! I was wondering what monkeys and knitting had to do with each other…
Me, too. Especially since the picture was of a cat.
My husband & I loved this!!! I thin it will become his new exclamation! (suitability edited for grandchildren).
thought I was posting an avatar pic. Sorry…
Omg that was funny! Thanks for the url, as I also had no idea what the monkey reference was about. Will have to check into more of their stuff
That’s something different.
Thanks for the link! I didn’t get the reference either. ^^, That was hilarious lol
I have no words. I’ve been waiting for this song. When I went to see King Kong, I left for a cigarette TWICE. And the second time, I was out playing with my phone for a while. And I came back in AND THEY STILL WEREN’T BACK IN NYC.
So. Yes. Thank you.
I would also like to share the one-line review one of my friends offered: “you realize that, ultimately, we’re watching a movie about a woman so damaged that the only relationship she can have is with a giant monkey.”
Are you sure tea will be enough? You might want to spike it with a little liquor if necessary.
About stitch markers: I agree that the ones in craft stores are ugly. My mom would use safety pins. I used to do that before I started using charms (like you would put on a charm bracelet). You can use one charm to start the count, and when you get to the other charm (it can be the same charm or a different one), you know to end the count.
One thing about charms: if you get the kind of charm from a jewelry store, they usually have an “o” ring. You can thread wire or yarn or whatever else through the small ring to slip it onto the needle. If you get the kind of charm from the craft store, they may not have an “o” ring on the charm. You would have to buy the “o” rings, slip them on the charm, and then slip wire, yarn, or whatever else through the small ring.
I was only introduced to stitch markers recently. But there were ones in the yarn shop close to my sister’s house with wood disks with little whales etched on them that were completely charming! (I don’t really need them (yet), but I have a vague plan that when I’m visiting my aunt next month I’ll recruit her to help me pick out the perfect set for my sister. )
Would a combination of safety pins and charms work? Open a jump ring (what you are calling O rings) and attach the charm to the pin.
Though opening and closing jump rings have tutorials that are excessively long too. Though getting them closed well so they don’t snag on anything does take practice.
I’ve done that too. Anything that will work with the charm opening at the top is good. Just be sure that what’s used on the charm will fit on the needle.
The bulb end coiless (aka pear-shaped or gourd shaped) pins generally work best over knitting needles.
I feel your pain. I finally finished a small shawl that I have worked on for a year. It’s called Fox and Grapes. It was my first bottom up shawl. It is well charted and written, clear images of unusual stitches, and has a gauge of what percentage of yarn you should have left at certain points. BUT, it is a lace shawl with the lace worked on both sides. I don’t know how many times I thought I could rip out 1 row and ended up ripping 4 or 5. If it weren’t for lifelines I would have chucked it. My next few will be simpler before I delve into my TBK stash.
Gotta love life lines. The last lace I did was part of a sweater… Aaaaand I forgot to put in life lines for it (because of COURSE it’s just stockinette stitch, easy to pick up). I ended up learning the hard way about laddering down to fix the lace section.
Stitch markers are a life saver. I’m using ones from jelby along with one of her stitch stoppers on my evenstar to make sure all the things stay put. Here’s her site https://www.etsy.com/shop/Jelby
Also, you watch our podcast! I’m fangirling so hard right now! We adore the two of you.
I end up using scrap yarn of contrasting color to make my stitch counters. Lol. Minimal time and effort, then right back to the project. And there’s a never ending supply of source material, am I right?
My mom did that and accidentally throw away the yarn at the end of the project. She asked me one time “where are the two pieces of yarn I used as my stitch markers?” I told her that if they weren’t in her knitting bag, then she may have thrown them away. ?
Same here! If necessary.i will try to different colors for something tricky but just easier bro use yarn. Always the right size
Is that Russian for “extremely naughty cat”?
It’s means contagion, virus, disease, and it’s used in slang to identify someone who is being a pest. 🙂
Oh, I like that. I will need to remember it.
La peste (i.e., plague) — I like it!
I’ve considered making my sister a set of wine-glass charms, just from carefully studying pictures in catalogs. I do beaded earrings sometimes, and charms are easier.
My condolences on the project hassles. Good luck henceforth!
Can’t remember if you had posted this, or if I ran across it myself. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXRj7RSgoN4
Even as a joke it had me snoozing.
Hysterical laughing
“I just want to murder a politician in Thebes! That’s all I want.”
LOL! The one-liners write themselves. But I totally get the beef with video length. It’s why I rarely click on video links. I read faster than anyone but an auctioneer can talk, with is why I prefer to get my information that way.
Yes this! Whatever happened to written directions with pictures
Do NOT get me started on our new printer setup.
Amen! Yet I see beading instructions (step-by-step annotated diagrams) with comments saying, Do you have instructions anywhere?
Do not get me started on people who don’t bother to read the whole thing either. When I was a mod, roughly 97% of questions posters asked were featured prominently in the FAQs, which they never bothered to read.
Thank you for the drama AND comic relief…..was greatly needed
I use youtube mostly for hair tutorials and its the same issue, sometimes I am forwarding through a video get frustrated and just give up…
I crochet and frequently use tiny clothespins. Both for stitch markers and for keeping my place on the paper pattern directions.
We had the same experience last school year. My son was in 5th grade. His school decided that they didn’t need a math text book. No actual book and no online book either. My gen x self was taught math a little differently than they teach it now. When my son needed help I often confused him more. The schools solution? Google. It was a mess. We wasted so much time watching videos that were not helpful. I have not looked at a how to video online since. My son still likes to watch videos of other people playing video games.
Today I blocked a shawl that I had been working on for most of 2018, and only then discovered a dropped stitch that must have happened about April. Arrrgggh! I love knitting, but I love it better when I don’t make mistakes….
Crochet hook to the rescue. 🙂
I got some wonderful cat and star stitch markers from a shop out of Montreal Canada – North of Here – https://www.etsy.com/ca/shop/NorthOfHereShop?ref=l2-shopheader-name – and my favourite part is that they are snag-free. I do a lot of lace knitting and beads sometimes get caught in the stitches.
I completely agree! I learned to choose tutorials by how short they are. Drives me nuts.
I’m forever losing stitch markers. I use jump rings, available from the hardware store in many sizes. Usually a couple hundred for $5. If I need a special marker ( start, finish, middle) I use multiple rings.
And if you’re looking for “free” stitch markers, take a fast-food straw (unused, natch), and cut the straw into thin rings. There you are. Stitch markers, available almost everywhere, and you won’t be sad if you lose some–always easy to get more.
My primary entertainment is YouTube, the people I watch do sometimes let you know the behind the scene stuff. That being said, my understanding is the current way YT is set up is to promote watch time and if the video is 10 minutes plus they can put more ads in it. So 1)more ads and 2) it’ll show in the recommend feed all upping their revenue. I’m not sure why that 1st video was 20 minutes however, maybe she’s just the type to over-explain every little thing?
I consider myself to still be a beginner. I can do your usual beginner knitting, I’ve finished my first shawl, and I can knit a hat using magic loop.
But, I feel your pain. Why oh why do all beginner’ish videos think you need to start with how to cast on and how to knit/purl?
If I needed to learn how to cast on, I sure wouldn’t be looking for how-to videos for cable knitting!
I hear you on the length of tutorial videos on YouTube! Although I don’t knit, so we’re not accessing the same videos, but, still…The shorter a tutorial video is, the more likely I am going to watch it in the first place. Now, I know full well, that if a video is especially short, I may need to end up watching some of the videos before and after it in the playlist/ series to get all the information I need. But, I would far, far, rather budget my time that way, than to commit to a much longer video (that may never even actually answer my question, anyway). Sometimes, in the description of a video, there will be a list of what is being taught at what time in the video, and that’s okay, too, so I can skip directly to what I need or want, but I still prefer the shorter videos.
OMG! Yes! Just get to the point! I don’t need the history of how ribbons are made just to learn how to make a simple bow! GAH.
I hear you. My mom bought a gorgeous wreath but the bow is hideous. We got new ribbon, now I just need to make it. Cue the video search…
Jump rings will work fine, but they can open up and snag on your knitting (unless you get the solid soldered-closed kind). The kinds with the metal crimp beads can also snag a bit, just be careful with those if you’re using a very smooth, fine yarn. Of course you can always use yarn, tiny rubber bands, O rings, etc etc. But it’s more fun to have pretty stitch markers. 🙂 (Full disclosure, I make and sell stitch markers and knitting things, so I’m only a little bit biased).
eh, it’s too bad you had to undo so much work, but “zaraza”….hehehe, for some reason that just got me laughing.
Since we’re neighbors with Russia, used to be part of Soviet Union and got plenty of Russians left – Russian language is quite well known for me XD
but true enough about tutorials, nowadays they seem to be getting longer & longer filled with unnecessary things, oh well
Zaraza ! Awesome. I will now sprinkle this word into my conversation……….
“I just want to murder a politician in Thebes!”
So just out of curiosity, after entering a phrase like that in the search bar, what shows up in the Google ads in various web pages? I Google the end of life for a particular piece of hardware and look at its replacement, and I get ads all over the place in web pages for that replacement hardware. So when you Google that you just want to know how to kill someone, what kind of Google ads do you get? O_O
Don’t get me started on how long knitting patterns are these days. Do I need really need 12 pages for a simple pullover?
I HATE frogging. Hate it. I may have added a bit of brandy to my tea.
On another note, my husband is addicted to YouTube how-to videos. He will watch them by the hour. *sigh* Give me a good, written description any day.
I just want to thank you for inspiring me to look up “zaraza” on Google translate. 🙂
Oh my gosh! You know our podcast! I’m with Laura and fan-girling SO HARD right now! All the exclamation marks!!!! Laura introduced me to your books a couple of years ago and now I own everything on both Kindle and audible. Thank you for your contributions to a genre that can be both flooded (with crap) and a desert (of great stories).
The last time I tried knitting anything was 38 years ago. My then 3 year old niece got a hold of the Afghan I was knitting. It was almost done when she started. I had to chase her through the house. 10 rows left when I caught her. Her mother walked in to see me carrying her by her ankles as she giggled and kept repeating my verbal slip of “you little sh*t.”
I really like your blog comments. Loved your Christmas tree, front door, phone conversation about your next book cover, and this one particularly. Thank you
I apologize but only you can make your venting so humorous. Thanks for the laugh!!! And the exposure to those pretty stitch markers — I didn’t know there are such pretty ones!!!
I crochet, and just bought some plastic stitch makers that are very cute. But now,…. I want those but I am on a budget. ????
I totally relate to the cat with knitting. At least it, unlike one of my dogs, doesn’t take the project or skein outside to bury! Not once, but 3 times!! I actually had to follow the yarn trail through the dog door to locate a hat in progress. And it’s always the expensive yarn (silk, cashmere, etc. Never the acrylic). One silk skein took a couple of months to discover. I love my doggies. Really, I do.
I’m confused…so, as I understand you, you need to make stitches for your cat to assassinate the youtube lady? I must admit I don’t see how Gordon fits into this scenario ?
I usually just use a piece of differently colored yarn as a stitch marker.
Out of curiosity, which kind of stitch markers were you looking at on etsy. I’ve bought some from a local maker – Little Skein in the big wool and they are very cute. She recently had a sale and I bought a mystery tin. It was a magic lamp and just some regular round rings. It was great.
I have a knit hat that was started last fall (over a year ago for that winter) & a crochet scarf that was started 2 summers ago (for 2 winters ago). I haven’t even touched my projects lately though, so that explains my lack of recent progress.
I do love well made stitch markers. I have many different kinds for knit & crochet projects & I’m always on the hunt for new ones. Fandom themed sets, cute tiny animals, & random mini food items are my favorites.
I made a few stitch markers for myself, but I don’t really enjoy it much & I’m not very fast, so I have a lot of supplies that are still waiting for me to finish up.
I also have an epic hate of 3 minute intros then a step by step of EVERYTHING (besides what you are trying to learn) on YouTube tutorials.
If I’m looking up “How to Knit FooFooXYZ Stitch Continental” or “Crochet ABC Edging Pattern” please assume that I know how to hold my tools (needles or hook) with my yarn.
I don’t need a dissertation on why you like/don’t like/do things… just show a brief note on what you are demonstrating “Cider Doughnuts Knits – Knitting FooFooXYZ Stitch Continental” & then the basics, with the steps (starting, any weird turn/loop/link/transition, how to do in the middle & finishing). If it can be done more than one way, show that too. PERIOD.
If you want to do reviews, opinions, or just chat, please post those separately!!! I’m more likely to watch your other videos if you separate them out.
This type of demo is perfect:
https://youtu.be/6ndFPoonWQE
Funny you should mention a F*ing Monkey. My favorite stitch markers are little monkey’s paw knots. The are very cute, colorful, and they work well because the loop is flexible so it doesn’t get in the way.
So sorry you had to wait for the monkey to appear but it made for good reading. ?
The last few shawls I have found on Ravelry have been youtube tutorials. Really, when I want a pattern, I want it written. Why in the world would I want to watch you teach me how to make an entire shawl? I really think all these ridiculous videos are of people who just want to be seen…
Quilting videos are the same. I only need 5 maybe 10 minutes of the whole 20 or 30 minute video. Even the ones you pay for as an online class waste lots of time. Fortunately I can fast forward and I don’t have to listen to an explanation 3 times unless I need to see it that many times to understand the technique.
I confess that I use paperclips as my stitch markers because I keep losing the pretty ones that I buy and it makes me sad whereas there are a gazillion paperclips at home and the rubber-coated ones are easy on the yarn.
Um, why are you looking at me like that?
Kill a man in Thebes. Put grilled tortoise brains in his wine…Or was that the potion for hair growth? It was either that or a love potion. Anyway Anicent Egyptian is so hard But it is one of those thee. 🙂
Don’t know a thing about knitting,but that is one gorgeous kitty.
Just a comment on “How the heck do I do X in game Y”? I find the text tutorials/walkthroughs a godsend. You can just CTRL + F the problem and BAM, there’s (almost always) your answer. Good luck with your gaming!
https://www.etsy.com/shop/HIDEandSHEEP?ref=pr2018_faveshops
HideandSheep make my all time favorite stitch markers, not only flexible wire with various pretty beads but she bends the wire back up. There is absolutely NOTHING to snag on the yarn. I have sock size, medium size and jumbo size. Plus increase/decrease markers, row counters and a beautiful bracelet.