I am overwhelmed with tea. I feel that I need to take a weekend to sort the tea out. Thank you!
This is Artha. She is our granddog.
Artha, bumping my elbow with her nose: Hello. I’m Artha. I’ve checked the doors for the 7th time. Everything is locked.
Gordon: Pillow, Artha. Pillow.
Artha, sits on the pillow.
Artha: I’m going to check the doors again.
Del the Doberman: Make her stop. Please.
Repair person, seeing six dogs run inside: Aaaaa!
Us, corralling the dogs: Don’t worry, they are friendly, they are friendly…
Me: Who opened the outside door?
Artha: Hi. I’m Artha.
Artha, scratching at the bedroom door at 2:00 am: Scratch, scratch, scratch…
Gordon: What is it now?
Me, getting out of bed: She must need to go potty.
Gordon: Why doesn’t she just use the dog door?
Me, stumbling to the door: I don’t know.
Me, opening the door: What is it?
Artha, making a beeline for the living room french doors: This way.
Me, opening the door: There you…
Bobcat/Mountain Lion/Demon from Hell: Yowwwwll, rawwwraww rawwr rawwr!!!
Bodies running in the dark. Something jumping the fence.
Artha, trotting back: Hi. I’m Artha.
Artha: I have checked everyone’s food bowl. Good news, there is no poison in them.
Gordon: Stop eating everybody’s food!
Artha: But poison?
Several hours later
Kid 2: Every time I leave her here, she gains weight. Dad, stop giving her so much food.
Oliver: Meow, meeeeow, she’s doing it again.
Me: Artha, stop herding cats. Nobody likes that.
Artha: Kitties are cute. Cute kitties. Don’t hide on the chair. Here, I will put your whole head into my mouth…
Me: Stop that!
Artha: I will lay here on the couch with Tuna.
Kid 2: You know that six foot statue of Pennywise Dane and I bought for Halloween? Small problem.
Me: It doesn’t work?
Kid 2: No, it works. Artha keeps attacking it. We put it in the bathroom and she’s sitting by the door and growling.
Me: Why is there a huge pile of shredded rags in your garage?
Kid 2: I was stressed out, so I went to punch the punching bag for a while, and Artha attacked it.
Artha: Hi. I’m Artha!
even more Doors
Kid 2: OMG! Artha is in the front yard!
Me: How? All the gates are locked!
Kid 2: Artha! Come!
Gordon: She opened the dog gate, and the two doors, and got out through the open garage.
Artha: Hi. I’m Artha. Snacks?
Artha, jumping between Gordon and Kid 2 sleeping on the couch: No! No! WOOF! Mistress is asleep! No!
Gordon: Artha, move.
Artha, jumping onto the couch over Kid 2, body blocking her: No! Mistress asleep! No!
Gordon: Damn it, Artha! This is my damn house, I will go wherever I want. Sit your simple ass down.
Artha: Ooo snacks!