Kid 2, text: I am on a mission.
Kid 2: I am going to catch a ton of eeves and have one of each evolution.
Kid 2: I already have two.
Me: What time is it?
Kid 2: Pokemon time.
Me: How old are your parents? More importantly, how old are you that you wake me up in the middle of the night. I thought it was an emergency. I legit had heart palpitations.
Kid: Ur old
Me: What is that anxiety duck is called… psyduck? You won’t be happy until psyduck is my patronus.
Kid 2: Hehe. Forgot y’all would be asleep. Sorry.
Me: If the dementors show up, I won’t summon a pretty stag or a phoenix. I’ll end up summoning psyduck. He will clasp his chest and fall over, and the dementors will eat me.