Hey ya’ll, Brandi here. The Andrews household is super sick still, but there is some satisfaction in that for me, because now they feel my pain. Joking, obviously (or am I?) I’m referencing the fact that a week before they all got sick, I had gotten sick myself. I got so sick in fact, that I ended up going to the urgent care by the house. That conversation went like this.
Me: I feel sick. I’m coughing, my throat hurts, and my chest feels like there’s liquid or something in it.
Nurse: O_O Chest pain?
Me: Yes, but like from coughing.
Nurse: Chest Pain!
Doctor: Chest Pain! Heart attack!
Me: Not heart attack, I’m sick.
Doctor: You are having heart attack! Go to emergency room!
Me: Can I please just get like an antibiotic?
Doctor: No! Heart attack! If you won’t go to the emergency room, sign these papers saying we told you to and you dont wanna go.
So basically, I learned Urgent Care operates by buzzwords. Which was super frustrating, because after performing an EKG on me and keeping me there for two hours, I got absolutely no medicine. I’m feeling better now, but after last night I’m left with the question:
Why am I like this?
I got drunk last night. I didn’t go out, just drank wine with my friend while we watched romantic comedies and did face masks. I only had one glass, so I didn’t mess up there. After two movies, I had sobered up and was able to drive her home and then drive to my boyfriend’s house. That’s where I messed up. White Claw has made diet white claws, with 70 calories and 0 grams of sugars
Woke up this morning.
Me: Babe, where’s my phone?
Boyfriend: You don’t remember last night do you?
Boyfriend: You came here, drank four diet white claws. I took the fifth one away from you because you were already drunk as hell, and then you yelled at me that you weren’t drunk you were “DIET DRUNK!!!” Then you made me look for your phone for an hour, fell asleep on the couch, and then I had to carry you to the bed.
I found my phone. It was outside in the backyard, no clue as to how it got there or what diet-drunk Brandi was doing in the backyard late at night. Then it gets worse, because I have one of those nifty little wallet phone cases. So when I pick up my phone, I realize my ID and cards are missing.
Why am I like this??? Ugh.
Here’s some cute cartoons by NathanWPyles