In this pandemic times, grocery delivery keeps us safe, and the essential workers are saving lives. That said, with the sheer volume of online orders, mishaps happen and the lack of availability sometimes results in some hilarious substitutions.
What I ordered
What I got
What I ordered
What I got
What I ordered
What I got
Not sure how that last one happened. They won’t take it back because of COVID.
So what have you shopped for lately?
Torin says
Chopsticks! Hate the sound of metal clinking, so I’m trying to find some comfortable wooden pairs.
Christina says
I got these off of Amazon – they’re sturdy, well made, and the wood is smooth. I chose the Maneki Neko ones but I’m sure they probably have other designs ????.
Christina says
Would help if I posted the link, wouldn’t it… ????????♀️
https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B0128UU2N4/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_api_i_2sWKFbMYWJQG1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Tylikcat says
My at home chopsticks are some lacquered ones I’ve had forever, and a few hand painted pairs I’ve gotten as gifts over the years.
But I picked up these for my use when I’m at work or out and about, maybe fifteen years ago, and they’ve been great.
https://www.rei.com/product/129701/snow-peak-wabuki-chopsticks
Angela Giffin says
Yes! I’ve been using these for 15+ years. I absolutely love them!
Holly says
Masks and mask lanyards. How many masks can a six-year-old lose? The limits have not yet been reached.
Tink says
Masks are to COVID what mittens are to winter.
Another Julie says
I installed a key holder rack right by the door with enough hooks for everyone (although masks do touch if you’re worried about cross contamination. In most of those cases it goes in a laundry pile or the garage). It’s been really helpful for keeping them corralled and reducing losses.
Karen Stewart says
Put a string through them just like mittens around your neck !
Jan_nl says
am already doing the key holder by the door, but with no youngsters running around me (much), I never would have thought of lanyards. And yes, I ordered some to try out 🙂 Thanks for the tip.
Love this blog for Ilona’s posts, Gordon’s ripostes and the Horde’s tips 🙂
Keera says
We have 3 coat racks filled with masks for everyone. We have a separate bag in the laundry room for washing them. My kids still have in person school 5 days a week and gym every other day. And the daughter has eczema so she has to change masks at least 4 times a day, my other two after gym or heavy sweating.
But its not the 6 year old that loses masks. Its the 14 and 17 yr old. Ive told them any more masks lost and I will start charging them, these things are not as cheap as they think.
lia says
wait what is this microwave sugar pumpkin recipe you speak of?
(I’m sure you knew it was coming, but I really want to know! There’s a sugar pumpkin sitting on my kitchen table right now that can totally fit in the microwave 😛 )
Susanna says
I slice mine in half and cook them on medium high for about 5 min depending on the size. In the centre of each you can put a little water or butter to help with the cooking. Once they’re done, fill each half with a filling. Quick and easy: baked beans or creamed corn. They are also great with minced meat dishes like chilli or Bolognese or some nice cous cous. Or with butter, cinnamon, nutmeg, clove etc.
Zan says
I think some of the online orders at my local grocery store are filled by 16 year old clerks who don’t cook. That’s based on some of the kind of wackadoodle substitutions I’ve received (or failed to receive), like:
– ordered: 2 zucchini. received: 2 cucumbers.
– ordered: sun dried tomatoes. received: salad dressing.
– ordered: a pint of buttermilk. received: a gallon of buttermilk.
– ordered: 2 cans of X brand corn. They said there was no substitute for the corn.
– ordered: a carton of Y brand chocolate ice cream. They said there was no substitute chocolate ice cream.
I like to imagine a kid doing his best to figure out what I want, and then making these choices. It is kind of charming to me.
Jeffrey F. says
Zan if it is anything like how Walmart does substitutions they are suggested by the operating system that is used to pick the items. One of the best ones I’ve seen this week on the Walmart Associates Facebook page was to substitute a red bell pepper for a dozen roses.
Zan says
Wow, the red pepper for roses substitution! That’s pretty funny! Are they just messing with us?
Walmart has by far been the simplest and most accurate here. And Kroger has been pretty accurate, although less popular items tend to be “out of stock” — which usually isn’t true; if I park and go in the store the items will be on the shelves, but the rep I guess just couldn’t find it.
It’s our small, super-local chain that I want to support but their curbside order picking is the grocery roulette that gives me the beets-for-leeks kind of surprises.
Damietta says
HEY! They both have 2 ‘e’s in the middle! What more could you want?
Susie Q. says
I’m pleased with Walmart’s curbside delivery. The first order, I was surprised to find 2 cartons of lactose free milk in addition to the milk I ordered. No charge was made, soI just kept the extra milk as they don’t accept returns.
Apart from that bonus glitch, they had to substitute items on my last 2 orders. I was notified in advance, given the option of saying yea or nay. In one case, the substitute was a more expensive item and was charged the lower price. In my last order, the substitute was a less expensive item and I was charged less.
The orders have all been ready within the time frame, and I received a text notification that it was ready. I arrive at the beginning of the time frame so my groceries don’t have to wait on me and am rereading sweep of the blade on my phone as I wait for the order is ready text. No fuss, mask free and stress free experience.
Amy Ann says
+1 on Kroger. I don’t allow them to do subs anymore. Like you, I just park and go in the store to find what they couldn’t. I figured it’s still less time in the store than if I shopped the entire list.
Sara B says
Their reasoning in substituting red bell peppers is that if you stick them on a skewer and they make a pretty bouquet?
Jeffrey F. says
Not sure actually. The joke on our Facebook page was they were both organic.
Jan_nl says
Zan – this is hilarious. I often have to identify fruits and vegetables to teenaged cashiers… and sometimes, the curious teenager will ask what they are, how you cook them and what they taste like. It can be charming.
Jeffrey F. says
I have to help my younger co-workers with the exotic fruits and vegetables at my store. I’m not from Northern Indiana where I live and am well acquainted with the Hispanic and Asian fruits and vegetables that have them pulling their hair out just trying to identify them. Like the Jicama that one of them was trying to find this afternoon as I walked through produce at lunch and the department worker was no help. I actually taught both of them a lesson about them.
Lynn says
The sweet potatoes are not a problem, slice, blanch and freeze. Do the about the same with the pumpkin. Cut, microwave, scoop and freeze.
But I am not sure what to do with the drain sticks. No matter how long you marinate them they are not going to be tender.
Trade you for my eight bags of onions I got rather then the one Bermuda I ordered.
(Yep, Cut, blanch and freeze).
Tiffany says
If you cook the sticks in the oven long enough, they’ll get pretty tender…you could even say they melt in your mouth. Can’t do much about the taste though…maybe the right marinade?
Ruth says
Bless your sense of humor–all of you! I’m with you in spirit on cut, blanch, freeze. But my big garden has put freezer space at a premium. The sweets can go in a cupboard and will be just fine for months. The large pumpkin likely won’t taste very good. I’d say, woo, hoo! an extra jack-o-lantern. The onions also do fine for a long time in a cupboard–if they’re a storage onion. If not, cut, blanch, freeze indeed! I too am stumped about the drain sticks, but at least they don’t take refrigerator space.
K D says
That’s what I was thinking. It’s probably not a sugar pumpkin, but just a decorative one…
Pille Joevee says
The pumpkin will be ok for quite a long time sitting in cool room. Maybe pantry? Ilona, please remember, how they make pumpkin in russia. So can some. In slightly sweet marinade with cinnamon. Goes well with meat dishes. And was a treat during my soviet childhood
Alice says
or lots and lots of French Onion soup!! which is what i did with the extra onions. after a while i started adding small meatballs to the soup and roasting them together in the oven for a while, yummy!
Patti says
I thought you were going to say you received way more packaged onion soup mix than you ordered, which happened to me. I thought I was ordering 2 pkgs and received 2 cartons of them from Amazon. Lots of meatloaf and over steak in our future.
Daisy says
Labor Day weekend:
What I ordered:
5 cobs of corn for the grill
What I got:
5 large bags of frozen corn
Alice says
corn chowder, or ham and corn chowder, or clam chowder with lots of corn in it too! or corn bread, the possibilities are endless! i’m on a soup kick these days.
Simone says
The last one was too funny but at least drain sticks are useful.
I just bought a new phone. I have a 2009 Samsung flip phone Love it. However it has to be retired. The power button is stuvpck. Like a turtle it decided to go into its shell and not come out. Can’t turn it on/off anymore.
So I did a ton of research. Found a 2019 Nokia phone online at Walmart that I liked. 4G LTE, dual SIM card, unlocked, global etc. Bought it, it arrived and I opened the box. The instructions are in Thai only. Okay …. then the plug for the charger is a European plug with a US adapter. Then I try to find a carrier – no USA carrier is compatible with this model. European only apparently. So back it will go and I’ll be out the restocking fee. Will try my luck with a Moto G7 Play from Best Buy now. I hate technology – or at least shopping for it ????
Everything else is coming as ordered, thank goodness ????
Kelly Johnson says
I have a Motorola G7 and like it. I’ve had it for over a year with no problems. I bought it on prime day for $200 brand new.
Mezgeja says
I have the Moto g(7) Power and love it. Broke first one, went out and got another one. (Not meant to have a car roll over it, who woulda thought?)
Simone says
Glad to hear you two like your G7 phones. Thanks for letting me know. ????
A says
Blackberry forever: best smart phone 🙂
Love that real keyboard.
Drain sticks are useful.
Stay well everyone!
Thank you again to Ilona and Gordon for wonderful writing!
Claudia says
I snorted with laughter when I saw the last one!
I’ve been doing a lot of keto baking lately, so have been stocking up on eggs, butter, almond flour, and different Swerve sweeteners.
Back in March or April, I picked up my grocery order (all contactless, I pop the hood and wait inside my car while they load the groceries) and almost cried when I discovered that they were out of rotisserie chicken and butter. At the time, it was hard to get a pick-up time slot so I knew it would be another 10 to 14 days before I’d be able to try to get those items. Sadly, I’m not exaggerating.
I’m happy to report orders can now be filled with 24 hours again.
Sleepy says
Haha once we asked for 3 prices of ginger and they gave us 3 lbs of ginger.
Worked out well in the end though, made some delicious ginger recipes
JoAnn says
I keep receiving ginger with my Misfits Market box. What are some good ginger recipes?
Sivi says
Soups are great, coconut and carrot and ginger soup. Work used to have a delicious Caribbean coconut and ginger soup in the canteen.
Hmm I eat it a lot so would prob throw some into any recipe I was cooking.
Could try pickled for a Japanese twist or even sweet …wonder how easy it would be to make ginger beer (uk here, different flavour to the American ginger ale).
That does remind me that I meant to buy a big jar of vinegar to pickle the beetroot I accidentally grew in my wild flower patch (a seed dump of various stashed seeds, in the spring into a cleared patch that I wanted to grow a mini wildflower meadow in).
Simone says
Ginger is great in stir fry. Here is one of my favorite. It’s vegan but you can sub beef for seitan – the sauce is yummy.
https://yupitsvegan.com/mongolian-seitan-vegan-beef/
Elizabeth says
Yes, you can put Ginger in Asian Food and it is delicious, but I don’t know why you would want to do that when you could make gingerbread. If you Google it you can find the gingerbread recipe that uses black pepper, fresh grated ginger, and stout beer. It is to die for! With lemon sauce and real whipped cream…mmm
Helena says
Ginger is really good in a lemon ginger tea sweetened with honey. I also like making a “green and ginger” smoothie similar to Jamba Juice’s. Or grate the ginger and add it to a balsamic vinegar reduction and serve with chicken or vanilla ice cream.
Another thing to try is spicy ginger syrup.
https://www.cooksillustrated.com/recipes/13163-spicy-ginger-syrup
Malene T says
Ginger Shot (Immune system booster) – very easy to make.
You take approximately 200g ginger,
rinse under faucet,
slice it up and dump in pot.
Add about 2 L water and maybe 2-3 tablespoons of sugar. (you really don’t need much).
Bring to boil, and let it simmer for about 20 minutes.
Turn off the heat, but leave everything in the pot overnight.
Next morning, drain and fill cleaned bottles with the Ginger Shot.
It’ll keep about 2-3 weeks in refrigerator.
Ruth says
Ginger is vital in chai. Mmmm. Fresh chai, where you control how sweer you make it. Warm and cozy in chilly days.
Susanne says
You could make a basic paste for curries, half ginger, half garlic, fried in ghee.
Mela says
When I have extra I take off the skin, dice to 1/4 inch cubes or so and the Freeze them in a baggie I suck the air out of. Then use the ginger for shakes or just about anything.
Kim says
It does freeze pretty well. I simply give it a good scrub, leaving the skin on, make sure it’s completely dry and tick it in a ziploc bag in the freezer. You can peel it too if you prefer. It can then be grated when frozen – I use a zester – and used in recipes. It makes great tea with a bit of lemon and honey, particularly beneficial during cold and flu season or to help settle an icky tummy. The only downside of freezing it is that it can be a bit mushy when it thaws completely, so it’s better to chop or grate it while it’s still a bit frozen.
t says
I ordered a vacuum cleaner online. What I received was 24 cans of pinto beans for burrito filling. I still can’t stop laughing about it.
Amelie says
Was this from a grocery store???? What retailer did this? Hahahaha this is the funniest one yet!
MissB2U says
This is hilarious. We must know more. What brand were you ordering? What brand of beans did you receive? How can one confuse these two items???
t says
Sorry, guys, it was Amazon, which went to a different provider who then subcontracted it out to someone else to fulfill. It was just too funny not to share. And they were Goya Pinto beans with pork burrito filling. AND in the end they made me send them back. LOL!
AP says
That last item is too much!! LOL!!!
Early on when I was ordering for delivery, I was so impressed by how my orders came out just as I requested. Once I even had the person filling my order call me to ask if certain substitutions were acceptable.
They are hard working folks doing the best they can. 🙂
Darcy says
I ordered 10 pounds of potatoes, got 10 small quarter sized potatoes that a person could eat in one meal.
Eu Geen says
You can plant the sweet potatoes and harvest the leaves for stirfry 🙂
Rae says
You can plant a whole sweet potato??? And eat the leaves?? Are they bitter? Wow, today I learned.
ara says
Not bitter at all. You can even use it raw for salad. Slight sliminess. But we only eat the young leaves.
Mary says
I have small children. Lots of them. I LOVE GROCERY PICKUP AND DELIVERY!!! I mean, I cannot speak enough about how it has changed my life that I’m not having to drag littles in a store weekly. I feel like a blessed princess. Obviously, it sucks that so much of the grocery improvements in our rural area are bc of a pandemic. So thankful for my grocery workers!!
That said, I get strange subs all the time. Like they were out of hot dog buns, so they gave me brioche rolls.
Ellen Nachem says
I ordered curry and got poultry seasoning.
Carolyn says
Missing: Bag of lemons
Added: Angus steaks
Me: ???
Everything else switched out is usually because they can’t find the brand/flavor/scent, so I look at online grocery orders as not guaranteed that I’ll get exactly what I ordered and just expect to try new things. Usually not too bad.
Marcia McGinley says
I ordered half a kilo of short cut bacon and got 5 kilos (it came in a box).
I ordered a bag of small brown onions and they were all the size of big oranges.
The best however was the order that never came at all. Our supermarket takes a photo of your delivery sitting outside your front door to prove delivery and they sent me the photo to prove my order had been delivered and I pointed out it wasn’t my front door.
SoCoMom says
Oh wow! Similar story about a mis-delivery. BFF texts me to ask if I have my birthday present. Nope, not there.
Can you please check, she asks, delivery person says delivered to porch and sent photo.
I ask to see photo – it’s not my porch. BUT I can tell it’s my neighbor’s. But, not on her porch either.
Neighbour comes out, hears my story, goes back in to check her deliveries for the day. Nope.
I show photo to neighbor’s spouse – bingo! They recognized photo as being near their trash cans.
There, in top of their trash can, was my package. And: It was trash pickup day. I was lucky there!
Katherine says
I do a lot of curb side pickup. Recently one of my orders was broken into two parts with one part going to a store in another state (500 miles away).
Everthing had been ordered and paid for at the same time but for some reason part of the order was received by my usual store in South Carolina and the rest was received by a store in Maryland.
Ellen says
Ordered baby formula once and got a box of four baby mush packets. I still ponder the train of thought on that one. At least mush packets keep forever so they made a nice starter stash for three months later when my little one was old enough for them!
Harpinred says
Those drain sticks are super handy! Especially if you have long hair. They’ve saved me many a call to the plumber. Not sure how that translated from chicken though…
reeder says
Yes! I actually ordered some drain sticks as my hair is getting long.
I ordered 2 units of grapes. I thought it would be maybe 4 lbs. It was 2 large bags of grapes.
I wish the contactless pickup orders were just all in brown paper bags or other recyclable packaging. I am not a huge fan of the silver disposable cooler bags they tend to use for anything chilled and produce. It can’t be recycled.
R.M. says
I agree. But I reuse the silver bubble bags for packing items to be shipped. Maybe an online seller in your neighborhood could use them?
reeder says
Great idea! I still have some bubble wrap but plenty of items to list on eBay. I was thinking of recycling the bags as gift wrap and using some nice reusable ribbon and it is well suited for transit packing since most things will get shipped or dropped off.
Thanks!
Joe says
ordered Tylonal Day/Night Cold relief, got generic Aleve, at least the were the same size
Joe says
Oh and once they left my 75 dollar order on the side walk of an empty office building 10 blocks away, it was near a University, so you know how that worked out
Chandra says
I ordered eggs and berries recently and the delivery person broke every single egg in the same bag as the cartons of berries. That was a fun bag to open.
Jeffrey F. says
Chandra that wasn’t the delivery person’s complete fault. That is probably how they received the bag to bring it to you since the delivery person doesn’t pick the order.
And believe me when I say people these days do not know how to bag groceries. I’m a cashier at Walmart myself and there will be days when I have a line into our softlines (clothing) department and the other cashiers will have maybe 2 people in line. That is simply because I know HOW to bag things right and even if they do they won’t.
Zan says
I appreciate how Walmart’s curbside service labels the bags needing special treatment with labels like FRAGILE or FROZEN. I think that helps avoid messes like mashed eggs & berries.
I was a grocery cashier back in the day, and our training included videos on how to bag items appropriately. Poor bagging drives me nuts, and I still unload my cart onto the belt in the order items should be bagged and reloaded into the cart. It helps but doesn’t overcome a truly clueless bagger.
I’m not surprised customers prefer your checkout line.
Susan says
I unload my cart in the order I want them bagged also. Most bagging is just common sense like not putting something heavy on a loaf of bread, for example… but I make it less likely to happen by putting bread, buns, etc., on the conveyor belt last and it has worked well for me. Once in a while I will make a request like bagging fresh dill separate since it has a strong smell/flavor and I do not want it affecting other items… I learned that long ago the hard way.
Jeffrey F. says
I bag everything with a strong odor separately from all other items. I won’t put cleaning chemicals with food and don’t put bug killers with anything even cleaning chemicals. Cold goes with cold, hot with hot, and warm shelf items are sorted by what they are. Meaning cans go with cans, boxes with boxes, and fragile items go together. I’ve had managers ask why I’m so careful and I just point out most of our older and elderly customers want to know my schedule so they can plan shopping around me being there.
Tiffany says
It really bothers me when the cashier puts fresh produce with frozen especially lettuce. I try to keep them separate, but sometimes they still reach for something not even close to have enough in the bag.
A says
Thank you for being so thoughtful!
I do the same: order of go.
What gets me is raw chicken, etc. getting dumped on top of the immediately edible (fruit, cookies, etc.). At that point, I politely but firmly insist on a replacement.
And this was at Whole Foods, where stuff is expensive… I think it was reasonable to expect a decent level of carefulness re food safety …
Raw meat and eggs should go separately. Ditto for cleaning chemicals.
Amanda says
I’ve gotten to the point that as I shop, I put the items in reusable bags and then just put the bag on the belt. I keep an empty one for the cashier to fill as they scan everything.
Siobhan says
And it might not even have been the packer — when we shop in person, I ALWAYS open and check the cartons of eggs, and sometimes have to go through quite a few before finding one with 6 unbroken, uncracked eggs. That’s first: 6 eggs, then: in good shape. If the packers aren’t doing that, you’ll end up with orders like yours.
Adrianne says
Thank you for the great laugh! The poor pickers have no idea how to buy groceries for me. Out of a 30 item order, 10 were “out of stock” (they weren’t, because I went to the store the next day and bought them), 5 were subbed out with things that I didn’t want/couldn’t eat. Substitutions for my orders have included a 1# jicama ordered – 5# jicama arrived, cress ordered – raddicho arrived, delicata ordered – spaghetti squash arrived. But none of that compares to chicken thighs being swapped out for drain cleaners.
Amelie says
LOL well we didn’t have those kind of mishaps but we had substitutions if they didn’t have a certain item, which they were upfront about during the ordering process. Like instead of sending us frozen peas, we’d get frozen green beans. Or instead of Lactaid milk, they’d send us the store brand non-lactose milk.
On the plus side you can make a million sweet potato pies. Or just give some to your neighbors. We gave our cleaning lady some apples after I came back with a million apples from apple picking in the Catskills. She was thrilled!
Julie Richardson says
Ohhh my. I have 1 pound of yeast. Almost 400 Rice Krispy treats. Ordered 3 bunches of carrots and ended up with 3 carrots.
I accidently double ordered the same Costco order 2 hours apart. Oops.
Fran says
For 2 weeks, the store apparently was out of leeks (for a home-made soup recipe). But the search function gave me great alternative choices in Poise and Always Discrete Bladder Leak pads. Grocery ordering run by spell check?
Once Leeks returned to stock, the other options disappeared.
JDH says
This week I got mini wontons instead of dumplings, french vanilla ice cream instead of caramel praline, cold pressed virgin coconut oil instead of just coconut oil, onion paratha instead of plain paratha, and scallions instead of shallots.
NaeNae says
So you are basically ordering a grab bag which might have a similar object of the same color in it.
Kimmelane says
You don’t need a saw for the pumpkin. Just bake it in the oven at 350F for an hour or so, until it starts to collapse. Take it out and let it cool enough to handle. The skin will peel off easily and the meat will be delicious! Use it for soup, as a side dish, and of course for pies. Good stuff!
Rachel Williams says
Exercise equipment…for my dog. Most recently, 12″ cones with holes in them for cavalettis.
Sandie says
Too funny! I usually only do the Publix instacart. The nice thing is that they have to actually scan the items to check them off and then the substitutions are sent to you for approval prior to their check out. The downside is having to keep an eye on the phone for the approvals but I’ve really loved it. Purchases recently have been to build up the hurricane supplies so I’ve probably ensured no hurricanes for another 16 years with the fans,batteries, and portable battery chargers I’ve bought.
Graham Smith says
We’ve had some weird substitutes in the past so now tick the no substitutes box.
Katharina says
My parents in law do some gardening and they always grow huge pumpkins. When I try to slice it in pieces with my biggest knife and it’s still half the size of the pumpkin I’m always thinking about Kate and her sword. I imagine myself pulling a sword out of its sheath in my kitchen and easily cutting that stupid vegetables in handy pieces. It doesn’t help me with the pumpkin but it makes me smile.
Elizabeth says
I do kendo! I tried to cut up a huge pumpkin with my sword! It was a very humbling experience, plus cleaning. I realized that if I was ever walking down the street wearing my sword and was attacked by a large pumpkin, I should run.
kommiesmom says
What you need for that is a cavalry saber.
I have seen the First Cavalry Division horse platoon do a demo of old-fashioned saber work on pumpkins and watermelons. In pairs, at a full gallop, there were no misses.
It was vegetable carnage.
The precision was impressive. The sounds were a bit disturbing. The splash was, um, wide, though I doubt you’d want to cook any of the resultant pieces.
A nice heavy cavalry saber, sharpened. Your pumpkin wouldn’t have a chance.
Mireille Hay says
That’s so hallarious, I don’t do grocery shopping online can’t get a delivery slot this side of Christmas. So I’m out at the crack of dawn on a Sunday to get my shopping done.
WS says
I gave up on online groceries (specifically Instacart) when I realized that the orders I received bore little resemblance to the orders I placed. Because I was tipping a percentage of the order, the shopper was motivated to make sure there was no decrease in the order size. This is how you end up with the world’s largest watermelon, tomato paste subbed for salsa, any meat of the appropriate weight substituted for the one I ordered… and *no* usable combination of ingredients without going out to shop myself. This defeated the purpose. When I complained, I got credit toward my next order— which was not happening because I hadn’t saved a trip and had a bunch of things I didn’t want but somehow had to find a way to use. Anyway, I hope your experience is better, but giant pumpkin and three bags of sweet potatoes suggests it may not be.
Jana says
I laughed when I read this. I can sooo relate. Since we don’t have a car we do our bulk shopping online so someone else has to deliver it. Since I’m in Portugal this often involves a fair amount of time looking up words to ensure what I think I’m buying is what I’m actually buying. I could turn on Google’s English translation feature, but that sometimes makes for hilarious results. I need the language practice anyway.
I usually end up with far less of something than what I wanted. One banana vs. a bunch (I have to order in kilograms so that requires the quick mental math to convert to 2.2 pounds and a rough guess at how much something might weigh per item). My guestimates are usually way off so I’ll get one lonely sweet potato or two apples instead of enough for a pie. It’s always an adventure.
I have yet to receive anything like those stick things though.
EarlineM says
Hi Jana,
I always used the 2 lbs to 1 kilo. It wasn’t exact, but the math was easy. If I wanted about a pound, I’d order 1/2 kilo. Hope this helps!
Laurence says
I like your drain stick! I never saw that in France, I wish I could have found one when I need to unclog my drain, instead of the metal contraption that ended up with a desperate call to the plumber.
Not sure how you went from chicken thighs to that though…
Ahh life is a mystery…
Thanks for the chuckle!
Sam says
Heard via friends… When online shopping was first available to all, a father had ordered Matey. It’s a kids bubble bath formula that comes in a bottle shaped like a sailor. I used it in the 80s as a kid, still seeing it everywhere here in the UK. Instead, they got … ADULT LUBE! ????????????????
Yvonne A says
The first two i can understand, but the third i don´t know
Anne says
You might want to feed the extra sweet potatoes to your dogs. They microwave quick and my dog loves them. Also good for dogs with food allergies.
JDH says
Have you seen this classic? https://littera-abactor.livejournal.com/7748.html
Jenn says
Polo wraps for our new equine family member, Halloween face masks, and a pretty lanyard chain for my “little black face mask” to go with my “undead” mermaid costume… So far, it’s all been good! I have been finding these things on Etsy marketplace, which I really love.
[my town is not cancelling trick or treating, but they have guidelines about doing so safely, like putting the candy on a table or in goodie bags, and you wave from your porch etc…we are trying to be festive as much as possible]
Jessica A says
Oh, those drain sticks will be fine – just marinate over night in soy and garlic, then pan fry for seven minutes on high heat. Once desired doneness is achieved, set aside until cooled, slide into the bin, wash the pan out, and order pizza.
I can’t do online ordering. I eat mostly fresh produce, and my brain can’t handle the thought of someone else choosing it. Plus, I’ve seen them selecting orders and there’s no hesitation in their game – is that apple bruised? Does it look floury? Have flat spots? They don’t look, they don’t care. It’s not their apple.
If I have to put on a mask and lurk around the supermarket like I’m surrounded by hangry plague-ridden zombies, then I will. Because it’s my apple and I care.
Dorothy says
Husband ordered multivitamins and received a 6-bottle case (32 oz ea) of green food coloring, haha. Keep it, they said. (Friend who helps at a summer camp was able to take it to the mess hall, hope the kids had some fun with it). It was 2018, our eye-popping mega-warehouse campus in Baltimore had opened, amazed that mix-ups like this are not a regular thing.
Too bad about the chicken, but those clogged drain sticks work well! Better for the environment than Drain-o and no waiting for the slow drain to clear, or for the plumber to call back. Plus, no skunk or fox raids on delivery… 🙂
Julie says
Love the drain sticks switch, ????
Rukshala says
I think there’s even a website for this, where people post their most ridiculous substitutions in grocery orders! Last time I got Rubicon sparkling mango juice instead of coconut milk. Why?? Who decided this was a worthy substitute?
nrml says
Food is far too important to be ordered and have someone else choose it for me. Just be careful about not touching things in the stores, wash your hands carefully when you get home, and use that sanitizer you carry with you at every turn. Wear your mask to keep things away from your own face. Watch the people near you to be sure they don’t get too close, and if they do, back away until they move on.
Chemo has left me with zero immune system, but this is a virus, and it will die without a host within 3 days. Be aware, be cautious, but know the facts about things. When you get home, wash your fresh vegetables, re-wrap your frozen foods, and keep washing your hands. I have watched pickers at Walmart go through the store with a cart filled with bins they’re dropping things into, and if it goes in the wrong bin, so what? That is, by the way, how you get drain cleaners instead of chicken thighs. Someone somewhere has a clogged drain they are trying to figure out how to clean with chicken thighs. If you don’t really care what you get, go ahead and play the online order roulette. When you need something specific, go buy it yourself. And always remember that food pantries will take anything you got and can’t use.
Rachel says
Needed batteries and bananas [cause forgot to order them the first time around]. But because they have a minimum ordering limit, I filled the rest of the cart with pringles. So, two batteries, two bananas, and 25 cans of pringles.
Pretty sure they thought we were nuts lol.
Sarah says
Hey Pringles don’t go bad! Makes sense ????
Jodi says
That is hilarious! I’ve only adventured with having food from restaurants delivered to me. I almost had my food delivered to another restaurant I ordered from before…that would have been interesting. duh! But I live around the corner from the grocery store and Target so I haven’t had that experience. It would be like sending my 16 year old son, who still wants me to do everything for him, shopping…now that’s an idea. Thanks for sharing!
Stacey says
We have been doing in store grocery shopping, but now I want to try delivery just to get some crazy substitutes!
Sarah says
Lol many of the same adventures going on here. I have many many frozen bagels right now.
wont says
I have not tried grocery delivery or pickup. I don’t think I have the personality to accept differences that result in huge overages. With only two people in the house, we can only use up just so much. My freezer doesn’t have a lot of available space right now. So, I just keep a running list and try to go early on Sunday. Not many people and I can control what I get. It’s working out pretty well so far.
Momcat says
Let’s see, cornmeal for regular white flour, zucchini for cucumbers,(someone here got the opposite-wonder if we got each others order?) some soda drink for orange juice. They try, and by gosh, I wouldn’t want the job, but now I take my mask, gloves, sanitizer, alcohol wipes and venture forth.
Henry says
I’m new to ordering groceries for pick up. I find that several items which seem staples to me are not available at Walmart, baking ingredients, and I have to go to another store. I was afraid of ordering fruit and vegetables. The Walmart pickers have done well the two times that I ordered. The orders included the very smash-able avocados, bananas and tomatoes. I would have picked smaller bananas, but that’s nothing to dis about. The only problem I have had so far is frozen shrimp. I ordered a pound of large tail on shrimp. It was substituted by a bag of extra large shrimp which had been defrosted and refrozen.
Jeffrey F. says
It will depend on your Walmart as to whether they will carry certain items.
In Fort Wayne, Indiana my store carries items that only the international grocery also carries that item. NO other store Walmart or otherwise carries them in the city. All of our stores carry mangoes, but 5 of our cashiers sell more daily than any of the other 4 Walmart’s in the city sell weekly. So if there are other Walmart’s in your city check to see if they carry the missing items.
Shauna says
Order: 32 bottles of Nestle flavoured water
1st call from shopper: “we don’t have the flavoured water—is plain water okay?”
me: “Sure!”
Received: 32 one litre bottles of Diet Coke.
me: huh???
Siobhan says
Nothing as dramatic as yours, but… One of our grocery stores has a “substitute for original product” which I figured meant if they were out of Brand A white toast bread they would substitute Brand B white toast bread. I ordered bone-in, skin-on chicken breasts for roasting. I was planning on making dinner chicken sandwiches, fresh roasted chicken breasts, homemade bread, and use up the last of our garden tomatoes.
I got boneless skinless chicken breasts, which are really only useful for chicken + sauce + rice or chicken salad. Which meant I had to go to the store in person to get what I needed for those dinners.
I am definitely unchecking that box next time.
Bridget Curry says
I just go to the store, that way I get what I want. I was at 5 different stores yesterday picking up supplies. Mask on going in, mask off when I get out.
Big Mike says
I can only imagine what Kate or Julie could do with those drain sticks!
I guess I should be very grateful that here in rural Virginia the grocery stores stayed open for shopping in person.
Randy says
Methinks there may be another “shopping list” on what was ordered and what was received, included in a future book.
Tierney says
our walmart online ordering has started sending you a list of the substitutes they are going to choose for out of stock items– before they shop– so you can tell them yes or no on the sub before it just shows up at your house. I am LOVING that!!
Before, they were really fast and awesom about refunding the substitutes that were not right– without me having to return them[since I didn’t ask for them to begin with.]
Susan says
Most of the time I get what I ordered. One time I got a water softener kit in addition to what I ordered. They gave me someone else’s kit. They told me to keep it and not worry about it even though I was not charged. I feel so guilty when I get something I did not pay for.
Katherine says
Laughing out loud!!! Literally!
Carrie says
I once ordered a package of 3 bulbs of garlic. They were out of that so they gave me a 2.5 POUND bag of garlic. ???? Some went bad before I could use it all.
Another time I ordered one bottle of Lysol laundry sanitizer and they subbed THREE bottles of some kind of laundry whitener and isn’t remotely disinfectant at all.
I really wonder how these items are matched! It must be some kind of weird algorithm.
Another vote for some shoppers not knowing how to cook. I have gotten mushrooms that are too far gone to be useful and another time, the shopper picked a (clear!) package of sage that was completely gray and super fuzzy with mold. ????
Mary Peed says
I have friends who do personal shopping at Walmart. She said the shopping app suggests substitutions. She doesn’t get a lot of them anyway, but you can’t override the suggestions.
Siobhan says
And OMG. This last week. I placed an order on Sunday for Tuesday delivery. One of the grocery stores we order from is specifically for the heavy stuff (Our new apartment may be better apartment-wise, but we are no longer a block from the grocery store — the closest is 3 blocks downhill, so hauling the stuff BACK is miserable). So 6 heavy bags of cat litter, 6-packs of 1,5L water bottles, 6-packs of 1,5L Coke bottles, you get the drift. The store maxes your order out at 100 kilos, and I generally come pretty close.
Tuesday, delivery day, arrives and…
Our building elevator is broken. We live on the 5th floor (US measure). I tried six times to get in touch with the “delivery hotline” only to reach the point in the phone maze where I would normally be placed on hold to hear a message saying “not a good time, call back later.”
Our poor delivery man. My husband went down and helped, and we tipped him 20€, but that poor guy.
Rae says
Ha! I ordered 5 banana and got 5 bunches. Thanks instacart! Now my coworkers and family will never want to eat banana bread again. We had banana bread, banana caramel sauce on pancakes, banana fritters, cinnamon sugar coated bananas. I may never eat bananas again! I still have banana bread loaves in the freezer.
What on earth will you do with so many sweet potatoes!
Susan says
If you like smoothies, slice the bananas and put on a cookie sheet to freeze, then put frozen slices in a freezer bag. Add frozen banana slices to almond or whatever your choice of milk in a blender. I like that it also adds a nice thickness using them with other fruits.
Rae says
I love this idea, freezing them as raw bananas never occurred to me. Thanks for the tip 🙂
Ruth says
Yep. You can freeze them in banana bread size pkgs instead of making and freezing the bread. If you have the space, you can freeze them in the peels. Just toss ’em in. Then if you want to use them frozen, peel with a knife.
Wendy Sahyoun says
I have to say that I did order the Chocolate Tea you raved about and it was amazing, I just got it yesterday, and I am sharing it with multiple tea lovers in my life. Thank you.
Sandy says
So did I! It’s terrific. I love it.
Sandra Schaeffer says
So funny. I shopped for three 2-packs of egg rolls and instead received three 5-packs. I am single so that is a lot of egg rolls. I ordered a can of citrus room spray but they were out and suggested a substitute of Hawaiian Breeze which I accepted. I wound up getting Almond Breeze milk. Good times.
Tanith says
I’ve been using instacart for almost all my grocery shopping and so far haven’t received anything that i didnt order or agree to as a replacement.
Joylyn says
I have found that online ordering with curbside pick up has helped my anxiety levels be soooo much lower the last 7 months! Even if I have to run in to pick up something that didn’t make it on the list or there was “no substitute” for. It also has cut down on the impulse buying of crap I don’t really need anyway and upped the planning dinners in advance and sticking with the plan! Both of which have helped the budget:)
I have to brag that my local store will call me if there is a question or something they want to verify before substituting. Sorry, but I live in a rural area so I think they aren’t swamped with orders.
Siobhan says
And we order a TON from Amazon. This actually happened today. Conversations with my husband:
Last night:
KH: we need to buy some chocolate and stuff for Hallowe’en this year (note: because our new building has lots of kids, and because trick or treating will likely be restricted to the building because of Covid — there’s no way to avoid being exposed in an apartment building with one lift, so…)
Me, fully aware of my husband’s sweet tooth AND the fact that he’s been whining for a month about getting fat: yes, but we should wait at least another week or we’ll eat it all before Hallowe’en and have to buy more.
Today, after the Amazon delivery:
Me: WTF did you ORDER? That box is huge.
KH: uhm. Uhm. Come see.
He opens a box with a gallon bucket of lollipops and a 4-lb bag of assorted Hallowe’en candy.
Me: so when you said last night we needed to but Hallowe’en candy, what you MEANT was you already ordered a ton.
KH, looking very offended: I said we needed to buy CHOCOLATE. We don’t have any CHOCOLATE.
Arijo says
LOL
Violet Laponsie says
He’s right though
Siobhan says
We’ll be out of lollipops WAY before we get a chance to buy chocolate. Except, it seems, for the green apple flavor.
KH: APPLE? Who likes APPLE lollipops?
Me: I like green apple candy.
KH: then I will leave the apple for you. And the trick or treaters.
Me: uhm. I also like cherry.
KH: you’ll have all the apple. Yep.
Me: …and cherry.
KH: should we even give the trick or treaters the apple? Isn’t that mean? I think we’ll definitely save them for you.
Jody says
I hope the last one isn’t a critique about your cooking, because that’s plain rude. ????????????????????
Marianne says
I recently used one of the drain sticks on my bathtub. It worked wonders.
Rose says
I ordered fresh herbs and two cans of wine. I got the herbs in 6 packs and the wine in 4 packs. Then they showed up the next day because they had missed one of my items and they brought another four pack of wine which they didn’t miss because I had only ordered two cans. So I gave that one back to the driver.
KC says
At the start, the one that stands out is I ordered Cadbury Caramel Eggs (it was around Easter, and it’s my favorite thing ever). I marked it no substitutes, they brought me dove chocolate eggs (bleh). (I’m picky).
There were other times they substituted when I marked items no substitution. And our household can’t do that, between food allergies for one person, dietary restrictions that are different for two others… you can’t just substitute willy, nilly in our household, unless it’s for the same item at a different size. None of the substitutions we could use. We tried a few more times with different services that were better, but we rarely got even half of our food because of how specialized it is, so we ended up having to just go out and shop for it, choosing off and slow times.
Breann says
Dove Milk Chocolate Truffles (I don’t know if your eggs were the truffles or the plain chocolate though, they make both, plus other flavors) are my FAVORITE ????!
I’m not to eat dairy, but I optimistically bought a tin on Valentine’s clearance (plus 1 for my sister, see, I’m nice ☺), hoping that would change or at least be a bit more flexible. (No such luck. ????)
Well, it was going to go bad. It was past the whatever date. I couldn’t throw it away or I would have cried. So I ate them. Not all at once (I used some willpower), but I did eat all of them. I regret nothing. ????????????
Rossana says
As an added measure, I’ve also been doing monthly shops instead of our usual bi-weekly ones and just accept any and all substitutes because I’m panicked there won’t be enough food and there will be rationing.
You can take the girl out of Eastern Europe…
My weirdest substitute was cake mix instead of shower gel. I guess they were both vanilla ????
Billie Dee says
I am laughing with you. I did that with tomatoes once and received a months worth in one shot. Most were thrown out. The chicken thighs? That’s a good one. But on that note – we love chicken thighs, too!
I’ve been doing curbside pickup from HEB for months now. Only recently did the HEB 2 miles from my home offer this. I love it! Beer, wine, chicken, veggies, and other odds and ends delivered right to the back of my car!
Wishing you all the best. I still miss the twitter retorts.
Lora Tyler says
Wowsers! Hope you like sweet potatoes! So, they also think you have drainage issues. Lol
Lisa says
If you don’t have uses for the sweet potatoes, they make great healthy dog treats. I slice them in about 1 inch rounds and bake on parchment paper at 250 for 3 hours. They get a little crunchy and stay a bit chewy. My Great Danes love them!
Chris says
I think I would love them! Being half Irish, I’ve never met a potato I didn’t like.
Nancy says
My online shoppers have been great. They confirm substitutions with me by chat while they are shopping. My orders have all arrived in great shape. Such an excellent service during these times!
D says
I ordered frozen puff pastry because I am too lazy to make it from scratch and they gave me biscuits dough. So not the same thing. Also a 4 pack container of donuts and I got one single handpicked donut.
Jeanne says
My last trip I had to come back after they gave my groceries to someone else. Hope she has a cat….she got 2 containers of litter
barbie doll says
Thank you all for my morning laugh. I have not ordered groceries and after this I doubt I will try. I guess it is time for new recipes with the substitutions
Chris says
I’ve shopped Walmart on line( pick-up) a half dozen times sinceApril. The local manager refuses to make the store safe to shop. Walmart customer service was appalled to hear of his offenses and has lodged a complaint. (We have a mask mandate here. A cashier who was wearing hers loosely around her chin told me “Masks don’t work anyway!” Many store employees and customers weren’t properly masked either.The manager told me that is covered in the store meetings and he “certainly doesn’t’t have time to walk around his store and see what his employees and customers are doing as he is not there to police the store.”
Their software is a mess! It switches your pick-up store location at random. It gives you substitutions when you have opted out of any substitutions. The store gives you rotten and old vegetables, knowing that you won’t go back into the store to return them. Who ever heard of carrots rotting in a week in the crisper? They brag about having the best inventory control in the business, but are always short on items, because even though the store has them in stock, if they aren’t in the refrigerator case when the order is pulled, you don’t get it. They limit frozen broccoli to 6 bags of their brand so you have to buy more of the expensive brands to make up the difference. We eat Vegan because of family tree cancer and heart problems, and 6 bags get us through 3 days. If we go into the store, there are no limits. The only great service is from the curbside pick-up employees, who tell us that the in-store apps and software they have to deal with is even worse than what all the customer complaints indicate.
I wish the Target were closer. They take this pandemic extremely seriously and make sure everyone is protected at all times. They even announce that anyone not wishing to wear a mask, may choose several Non-contact alternatives to shop. It is always a pleasure to shop there. The store is always spotless, where Wal.art is always grungy, thanks to an incompetent manager.
Even our Publix doesn’t care if customers are masked- even while they dispense flu shots.
Louise A says
I used to go to Walmart all the time. Employees with masks around mouth only and employees wandering store with no mask has cured me. Thank heavens the Target store is actually closer to our house. Mask mandate here in Texas and the three nearest walmart do NOT comply.
Rebecca Cardamone says
???? I ordered 4 lbs of wild salmon and got four small filets of farmed salmon. Ended up paying $60 for about $12 worth of salmon. They’re in the process of crediting me, though. The neighbor’s cat is enjoying the mistake, so at least somebody is happy.
Melissa says
I ordered a 1 lb box of baking soda, and got a 4 lb box. I didn’t know they made that size and sold them in grocery stores. I thought the large, economy size was reserved for restaurants.
Bernadette says
You must’ve ordered from Instacart! ????????????
Mary Peed says
I have a wart on the bottom of my foot. Email with my doctor suggested a pummace stone… I ordered a pummace stone. I got body wash.
Next time I tried again. Got 4 different pummace stones and a luffa.
I ordered a loaf of pumpernickel. Got a package of english muffins. At least they were in the same family.
Kisha says
I’ve been doing grocery pickup orders since March, and I have been greatly amused at some of the things they’ve substituted. The funniest thing has been red potatoes at Walmart. I ordered two pounds of red potatoes. They sent me two small red potatoes. So the next week, I double-checked that it was per pound (it was) and ordered 2 more pounds. They again sent me two small red potatoes. Okay, I thought, I’m going to get this right this time! I am going to order them by the piece instead of the pound, even though it was clearly labeled as per pound… but it wouldn’t let me because produce was limited to only 2 per order. So, I ordered two more small red potatoes, and just kept collecting them, waiting for enough orders to make it worth cooking them. So, yeah, I spent the first few weeks of the pandemic building a potato collection, two at a time.
Sandy says
hahahahaha!
Donna A says
Gotta love substitutions. We were stumped by the appearance of pineapple chunks once (I loathe pineapple), couldn’t immediately think what it was in exchange for before finally checking off the entire list and realising it was cannellini beans.
We also spent the early part of lockdown without pasta before finally finding it available online again – so ordered two 500g bags of fusilli in great excitement. Delivery comes and gobsmacked to receive not just one but two 3kg bags of fusilli due to not having the ones we ordered. They were two sacks! You’d hope the packers would have a moment and think to themselves “well, one 3kg package equals six bags of 500g, so just one sack will do” but I guess it’s all computerised and automated. Who are we to argue with the algorithms?
Emily says
LOL on the chicken thighs. Most of my substitutions so far have been in my favor (I ordered a 99 cent package of frozen broccoli a couple of weeks ago and they were out, so I got the mega family-sized package instead but because they price match what you wanted… well. no complaints from me on the three-month supply of frozen broccoli!) but I did once get English muffins instead of bagels. Maybe some people would find this a reasonable substitution but I despise English Muffins, so that was a no-go for me.
Best sub so far, though? I ordered 4 chicken thighs and got a dozen individually wrapped boneless chicken breasts. Again, for 4-chicken-thigh pricing.
Of course, now that I’ve mentioned these publicly, next week I’ll probably get contraceptives instead of bananas, or something equally bizarre…
Kris Vasquez says
Shopped for a bag of clementines. Got a box of Velveeta “cheese” and something called Western Dressing I have never heard of before. Trying to figure out what to do with these items….
Breann says
Put the Dorothy Lynch (Western dressing) on a taco salad. I don’t personally care for it, but where I live that’s the preferred dressing for taco salads.
Breann says
Oh, and make mac and cheese with the Velveeta. Don’t let the fancy cheese people fool you (yes, I love fancy cheese too). It makes wonderful mac and cheese. You can always add in some fancy too. ????
Miet says
I’m all of a sudden insanely grateful that my delivery app Messages me while shopping and send me pictures of their proposed substitutions so I can yay or nay them….
Kim says
In my most recent order, I ordered 6 cans of Arizona iced tea. Got 6 gallon jugs of it instead.
The first ever order I put in when everything shut down in my state, I somehow ended up with 26 bags of hamburger buns. My reciept said I ordered 32, but only 26 were in stock. ???? I was giving buns away to everyone I knew! NO idea how I managed that one.
I usually have some sort of crazy substitution when I order. It always gives me a good laugh!
Kim says
I also got a 1lb container of garlic salt that was subbed for an 4oz one. I will likely have garlic salt for the next 5 years!
BevQB says
I’m confused (not an unusual state). Don’t you have the “Do Not Substitute” option?
Patricia Giles says
I live alone in a senior complex and love grocery delivery service. That said, there have been interesting goofs. Much like your sweet potatoes, I ordered four bananas and received four large bunches. I was giving away bananas on my floor like the neighborhood dealer. Or three boxes of Wheat Thins, or a bag of Asian slaw mix. I can imagine the disappointment of other customers when they don’t receive what they’ve ordered, but slaw mix? As you said, they can’t be returned, so my neighbors benefit from the mix-ups.
Nifty says
Blue-light blocking glasses. My sleep has really been impaired lately and I’ve been desperate for a solution. Have tried all sorts of things: Melatonin, valerian root, Unisom, sleepy-time herbal teas, hot baths, meditation, ear plugs, eye masks, kicking the cat out of the room…. Online scrolling suggests a link between blue-light exposure and insomnia, so I bought these “fit-over” glasses — they fit over my regular prescription glasses — which I wear from the time I log off work ~5:30 until the time I go to bed. Just got them yesterday. Hoping they work. (When I wear them, I feel like I’m on Mars! Everything has a reddish cast. Anything red is de-pigmented to an orange color. Gonna take some getting used to.)
Jean says
No. Just no.
I have to read labels for MSG and artificial sweeteners, which are in a surprising number of foods.
I’m really picky about apples: my favorite is MacIntosh, short growing season, and I’d rather go without than have someone substitute Red Delicious just because “apples” is on the bag.
So I just take the arthritis meds and wear my mask.
(I figure in about a year or so, it will be fun to go to the grocery store again. Just hanging on to that thought.) ????????
B says
My recent online orders have gone OK but I’m doing most of my grocery shopping myself. The problem is that if I go myself and something is not available I can mentally restructure the menu for the next week with what is there. When I did an online order in March everything that was for a meal was out and I just got the things I added to stock up or to put the order over the minimum. So I would have to places multiple orders for us to be able to actually eat. Substitutes just don’t work well. I can go to the yogurt counter and I know these six flavors will get eaten, those two won’t but also nothing with artificial sweeteners that give half the family migraines.
Valerie in CA says
Everything. I only shop online. I haven’t been in a store since February.
I seem to have better luck than you do, however….I normally get what I ask for unless they are out (cinnamon vanilla coffee creamer!!!)
I have had terrific delivery people
Suzane says
Well, I ordered a mattress cover from Amazon and received 15 pounds of dog food instead. Still can’t understand how they got this ordered mixed up.
Rachel L-M Waugh says
2 years ago I ordered a small paper shredder that fits over a trash bin. I was making my boyfriend a cribbage set disguised as a book and wanted to shred the paper into strips and glue them on the edges as pages. That was the LAST thing I had to do 2 days before Christmas when it was delivered to my dad’s house (where I was). I open it up and….it was a VHS rewinder.
My dad mentioned he was thinking about getting a new shredder, anyway, so we went shopping but of course all we found were the cross-shredders. I ended up just gluing the paper flat on the edges of the “book” 🙁
Nonetheless, it was mistaken as an actual book by a friend of ours, so there’s that!
Carol says
I ordered a bunch of beets with the greens attached. I got a bunch of radishes…with the greens attached!
Next time, I ordered 3 ears of sweet corn, husks on. Got 3 Packages of cleaned corn on the cob, 5 ears each. >sigh<
Sandy says
OMG. Hilarious. BUT, even if they won’t take it back they should certainly be giving you a credit! I order food on Door Dash pretty regularly. They al most ALWAYS screw something up. BUT, they are good about giving the credits. Even though the credit is only good on another order from them NO money back! lols. Stay safe. Love you books.
Lisa says
Have only done the curb side thing once. I opted out of letting Kroger make substitutions…and after all these tales of woe, I think that’s where I’ll stay. ????
This has been informative.
Sylvia Ethington says
We’ve been online grocery shopping since March. My favourite was when we ordered a zucchini and they gave us a bag of lemons. When life gives you lemons…
Alison says
I ordered a can of pitted black olives and got a jar of pitted green olives. While I love olives, I already had a gallon jar of green olives at home. So I still need black olives.
Isabelle says
Six bananas, six bunches of bananas (almost 50 bananas). I just dropped them off at my aunt’s who shared them with my mom and other aunts. I let the pick up service know and they gave a store credit.
Samantha says
Lol. It might not be chicken but those drain cleaners are fantastic.
Three long haired people use one bathroom.
We use ours often.
Meganne says
Wow I so instacart and can’t figure out how that happened!
Maria Deason says
Lol!! My neighbors are having the exact same problem! Order 2 pasta sauces and get two 6 packs or three bananas and get 3 bunches.
Teresa says
I got rotten potatoes. Asked for paper bowls and got paper plates. So far they have done pretty good. As for book delay my comment is “okay”. We all must make adjustments in trying times. I am still doing happy dance for Connor and Nevada’s baby story. Thank you
Jukebox says
Pet Food Express has saved my butt with their free delivery on orders over $30. With 3 growing foster kittens and mama cat, they go through really heavy amounts of food and litter.
Mary O'Maley says
OMG It started on St Patrick’s Day. Received carrots, potatoes, cabbage, stuff for making Irish soda bread…NO CORNED BEEF! LOL
3lbs of tomatoes instead of 3 tomatoes, 1 quart heavy cream instead of 1 pint, overripe avocados, giant potatoes, (I live alone), and, instead of chicken thighs…chocolate pudding cups! LOL I have learned to be very specific. “medium size potato, hard avocado, etc. Ah, the adventure!
Tine says
A while ago, I ordered tampons. It was a promotion for 6 boxes of 36 tampons (each). I ordered one package, but received 6 time 6 boxes!! The box that was delivered was huge and soooo heavy! I’m 41 and my husband said “that’ll get you through until your menopause”. He might be right ????????????
Maria Z says
Are people so stupid that they can’t read customer orders or do they simply not care? I think it is a combination of both.
Mardee says
I can understand them not taking it back but please tell me that they refunded your money! Especially for the Clorox drain strips!
Carlyn Knowles says
I ordered a watermelon. As the shopper was shopping, he put a watermelon that cost $49 into my cart and then ignored texts from me about it costing too much. After delivery, I clicked on the link that I had a problem with my order. That put me in a loop where every couple of days they would send an email asking if they had resolved my problem. I would say, no, I still wanted it fixed. A couple of days later they sent an email saying since they hadn’t heard from me, they considered the problem resolved. I could see my online documentation and they raised the price of the watermelon to $61. My husband found a senior help line number. That number is 1-844-981-3433. I talked to a representative. He fixed the problem. I haven’t shopped with them again, but every week they send me coupons for increasingly valuable money off deals to shop with them again.
amanda says
What kind of watermelon costs $49. Was it dipped in gold? YIKES!
Harriet says
I bought 1 pack of chicken thighs, and got 4. But my delivery person had a good explanation for it. I asked for chicken thigh with skin, but in case they didn’t have it, then the one without skin. So of course he got both. But one of them was buy 2 get 1 free, so he had to help me save some money.
So, thank goodness my freezer had space. And thank goodness I like cooking w chicken thighs.
Simone says
I’m sorry, but… this made me laugh *soooo* hard! ^___^;;;
Thanks for sharing! ^^
I wish we had online grocery shopping here… It’s available in the cities, but not in the rural areas… ;__;
Keera says
We do Sams club online and pick up order, if it can be shipped we will have shipped. But some things they wont even let me put in the online order, like fresh ground beef or boneless skinless chicken.
Hubby would rather just walk through the store for it all. I prefer to order what I can and run in to grab what I still need.
Before we shop we always have to look at each others calendars to figure out who is going and if it will be online order or not. He is a pretty good shopper too so I never have to worry about him going off the list and bringing random stuff home.
amanda says
Embrace the sweet potatoes. Dogs love them, people love them. They are great mashed up for the doggos. I buy so many sweet potatoes. I actually just did a run on TJ Maxx and Marshalls to look for my dogs’ treats. My old girl has a digestive sensitivity and she needs single ingredient treats. They carry a good sweet potato one that is cheaper than online. So there I was yesterday checking out with my cart full of sweet potato treats (and a new Massive Hedgy toy for the other dog). The checkout people asked me how many dogs I have. “Just two”. I was also conveniently wearing my t-shirt that says “What part of arooo didn’t you understand?” Yes I have basset hounds (well mixes).
SoCoMom says
Adult trampoline, new sheets, breakfast bars, and books – like yours! This pretty much sums up my lifestyle.
I cannot order food from grocery stores or through the KOHL’s website – both send my BP shooting up. I prefer to sneak in and out in off hours and DIM.
SoCoMom says
Epilogue: y’all made me curious so I tried online shopping again. TOTALLY difference experience than 2 years ago. Worked like a dream (a good one too)! Raley’s/Nob Hill is doing it right! I did not order produce, true, but the shopper called me from the store to check each substitute. Very happy.
SoCoMom says
PS: Looking forward to sweet potato recipes / weird online orders showing up in your future books.
Angela Beck says
I have loved online grocery shopping! I just moved from Germany, where this isn’t a thing. Soooo cool!
cocoakitten says
I ordered 6 (fingers of) bananas ???? but got 6 hands (had to look these terms up ????) of bananas!
I can tell you that we haven’t ordered bananas again since we finished them months ago ????.
Liz says
We ordered Swiss cheese and were told they were out, so we were given white cheddar.
NOT EVEN THE SAME CHEESE!
helen says
I ordered 2 whole chickens, ham, pastarimi and 3 lbs of beef roast for our monthly meat order and got…none of it! I guess we will be eating vegetarian for the month!
Patricia Schlorke says
Reading the post and everyone’s comments made me laugh so hard. I go grocery shopping myself. I wear my mask and keep my distance.
I watch Walmart workers shopping for people who order online when I am in the store. It’s fascinating to watch them shop. They will look at what the person ordered online, look to see if they have it in stock, and dump the product into the blue basket. One time I watched someone shop at the milk section. They just took the first one that matched the person’s order. Didn’t look at the sell by date or anything else. I shook my head. They also look bored while shopping.
While going to shop in person may not be for everyone right now, after reading this post, this is why I still shop in person. 🙂
Oh, for those who want white, unbleached flour for baking, King Arthur flour company, on their website, is warning that due to the pandemic, and bad weather, flour may be in short supply for baking this year. I use their bread flour for rolls, and they were out of stock. I did get 3 pounds of their all purpose flour.
Lynn Thompson says
Yes. I saw the same thing. I do bake a lot during winter. Holiday cakes and cookies. My rolls suffer although I use same recipe and ingredients my sibling does and hers are always perfect. Good luck with all purpose flour.
Momcat says
I try to use KAF exclusively, but had to try a couple of local brands (in SC). Not happy with those so once flour became available again, I reverted to my days in the mountains of NH where I stocked up on basics due to snow storms. Now I keep 20 lbs of all purpose and 15 of bread flour on hand and restock as I use it. In NH I could buy 20 lb bags of KAF. Here it’s 5lbs only. Due to shipping costs probably.I had indulged myself prior to Covid shortages by buying a lb of yeast from KAF. Just managed to just squeak it out through the yeast shortage. Who knew so many people still baked from scratch?
Bill G says
Wow!
Claire says
Hah! My biggest mistake usually comes in the form of ordering steaks. My husband is a meat & potatoes guy and gets grumpy if he doesn’t get steak at least once a week. (I know, I know, first world issues…)
Anyhow, I always order the two pack of steaks – one for him and one for me. In all fairness they usually get it right. But there are those times that even though I have the item on my favorites list and order the same item every time, I get 1 steak or 4 steaks.
Can’t figure out why it would change when we order the same thing every time.
May says
LOL
How on earth do chicken thighs turn into drain sticks?
At least you generally got MORE rather than less. I ordered a pound of tomatoes and got one. That made me think of the person packing my order. Didn’t he/she stop to wonder about who would order just one tomato?
Colleen C. says
Immersion blender. Every recipe I was making during covid times called for an immersion blender. I have used it exactly once since May.
Shoe says
Your potato example happened to me – except I got onions. Lots and lots of onions.
Judy Schultheis says
I’ve been buying t-shirts and sweatshirts online. The latest to arrive is a Venn diagram. The overlap between reality and magic is physics. My newest sweatshirt has a dragon on it and says “I don’t know how I’m going to win, I just know I’m not going to lose.” My firstborn says that sums up my attitude pretty well.
The two I bought her sum up her attitude, and her life, pretty well, too. One says “If they stand behind you, protect them; if they stand next to you, respect them; if they stand against you, show no mercy.” The other says “That which does not kill me should run.”
My offspring (two daughters, two grandkids) all seem to think I have a cockeyed view of the world and a strange sense of humor. They like me anyway.
Layla says
I’ve had a few weird results: all from Safeway. Not as bad as yours with the chicken thighs. But I quickly realized that Instacart from Sprouts is much more accurate. Unfortunately that means that things that I need that are named brands I have to go shop for myself. But the solution to that is to go to the Nugget (higher end store, cleaner, and less people than Safeway), but they don’t do any type of online shopping. Not even pick up.
Teri says
Those drain sticks are very useful.
I ordered an new desk and chair for remote learning (I am a teacher). Two levels so I can stand or sit.
Lynn Thompson says
Thank you, Ilona Andrews for the belly laugh. Regarding the sweet potatoes, Titan, the large dog, loves treats. I usually slice and bake in oven but I have nuked before.
Since delivery people can not find my address/ me due to GPS being wrong here or like Amazon delivery person no. 5 who stupidly ran when confronted by Titan ( i am now up to 10 for Amazon delivery people.), I go to local food lion (masked ) for my perishables as needed and when they have needed items in stock. (Yes whole community knows when dairy, dry goods, meat, produce trucks are scheduled. That’s the beauty of rural. ). Once a month I make to 30 minute drive to city and Walmart for everything else and Tractor supply for bovine, canine, feline foods and chicken feed.
I tried Walmart curb side pickup. It was hilarious the substitutions. The problem was between my food allergies and my prescription medication no no’s a lot of the substitutions were not acceptable. My neighbors got what I couldn’t consume still in Walmart bag.
So….. sweet potatoes make dog treats, human food— baked, pies, cookies, or preserve in freezer if you have room. The pumpkin would make a great Jack o lantern after you remove insides for the recipe you wanted to make and any left overs preserve in freezer for pumpkin soup later. The sticks….. no clue.
But thanks for laugh. It’s good to know it’s not just me.
I read last post and do understand about Ruby book delay. I would rather you two not be rushed or stressed about.
Susan D. says
I keep getting other people’s groceries. On one order, the shopper showed up the next day with 2 bags saying they were mine. I told him they weren’t, the bags didn’t even come from the right store. His response? “Guess they’re yours now!” So, I got a bag of lemons, an avocado, 5 cans of pinto beans and some peanut butter. My last suprise was 9, yes 9, lbs of chicken breasts. It’s just me and my husband! At least I have an extra freezer lol. The joys of letting strangers do your grocery shopping for you.
Shaashoo says
I ordered a jar of sliced jalapeños. Got sliced dill pickles. … I cry.
Judith says
Lol. Don’t you just love substitutions?? And yes I’ve had to more than once explain to the person of the younger generation what the name of the vegetable/ fruit they have in their hand is. The little light that shines in their eyes when they can match it with a name that they have HEARD of before but never seen is thanks enough.
You could always chop the pumpkin up , add some of the potato & make soup which would fit better in your freezer & go down nicely on a chillier day. The drain sticks? Mmmm. Pray for a clogged drain?
Rachel Rawlings says
I too have attempted to order pie pumpkins only to get the large ones used for decorating. Althouh in my case, I wanted three of them for making fresh pumpkin puree.. luckily no did a pickup at the store so was able to have them swap out.
Chicken thighs for chlorox drain sticks makes no sense unless there was a database error.
M says
I’m imagining the logic for that last substitution guess something like this:
Ordered: Chicken thighs [No chicken thighs] What’s a good substitute? Chicken legs [No chicken legs] Chicken legs are also called drum sticks… Drain sticks sounds like drum sticks (and looks like a mistyped “drun sticks”) Voila! Perfect substitution.
For folks who find themselves with many extra of something, I’d like to make a plug for your local food bank. They’ve been seeing record need in the pandemic, and would probably love to get your unwanted substitutions. Just check before you go to see if they take perishables like fresh produce (unexpired canned and boxed goods are usually fine, meat is usually not, but each pantry has its own rules).
Breann says
I like your logic! I was wondering how that last one happened and you may be spot on. ????
Kat says
I’ve ordered cast iron skillets and am learning to cook with cast iron for pretty much the first time in my life outside of campfire cooking with Girl Scouts.
Gsg says
Sesame seeds. I ordered a single bag. I got a case of 10 bags. I have enough for 20 Asian restaurants to use over a 10 year span. I just needed 2 cups of them. I was charged for a single bag and Amazon doesn’t want them back.
Knitifacts Laura says
You can roast the pumpkin whole, without having to cut (or saw) it open first. It comes out really good!
Laura says
P.S. Field pumpkins are edible, but certainly not as flavorful as a sugar pumpkin or any of the other sweet varieties. Depending on what you want to do with it, you may wish to drain and strain well before making your recipe. Or make roasted pumpkin seeds. Or just make a jack-o’-lantern. ????
Karen Stewart says
Sweet potato soup is wonderful especially with fresh ginger
Jackie says
Lol. I could use that last one. I shop in person at stores I trust both the staff and fellow shoppers. Unfortunately, the list is shrinking. I’m tired too, but this isn’t over. Please be careful folks. A friend finally found an insta cart shopper who asks before she buys. It was the case of mustard greens that did it.
Amy Ann says
Easter 2020… Ordered ham steak (single person here trying to practice portion control). Got a quarter ham (2-3 lbs). Ate some. Froze most of it. Still trying to finish it. Maybe by next Easter.
DianaInCa says
Just ordered some mugs for my Sister-In-laws for Christmas. They say “I smile because your my sister-In-Law, I laugh because you married my brother”.
They will be a gift to them and I will laugh at poking fun at my brothers ????
Rhonda says
My major whine is that Dr Pepper is NOT currently producing Heritage Dr Pepper (made with pure cane sugar). If they are producing this it is not being sent to my town. Personally I hate any type of Dr Pepper but the spouse LOVES Heritage DP. When it was made in Dublin, TX he would go ever 4-6 months and filled the back of his truck with his DP. He mourned for months/years until the Dr Pepper/Snapple group decided to make it again. We had a couple months when we couldn’t buy this during the early part of the pandemic but now we can’t even buy Heritage DP in the 2 liter bottles. He’s getting very cranky.
My main complaint about curbside grocery shopping is the amount of plastic bags that pile up at my house. I use my own insulated bags when I shop. Another thing I don’t like is they don’t show the cheaper eggs on my favorite store’s app. They only show the most expensive eggs or organic eggs. If I wanted free range organic eggs, I would buy them at the farmers’ market.
Melony Rodger says
Omg I cracked out laughing at that enormous pumpkin and the drain sticks ????????????
I haven’t experienced any similar mishaps. I hope you find a use for the wrong items. I love your stories ❤️????
Suey says
Chicken thighs equate to drain stick…????
Lisa says
Today’s xkcd (2376) was made for you.
Teresa says
Will the pumpkin fit in a standard oven? I have found recipes for casseroles baked in a pumpkin instead of a dish.
Roni says
One I rcd had a bag not mine, a bottle of wine, a bag of chocolate and a box of mural. They won’t take it back. And I kept thinking that poor woman is going to have a bad weekend.
Roni says
Supposed to be midal (autocorrect struck again)
Jacquie says
After picking up an online order and having a third of the order stating no substitutions available, and going into the store to find acceptable substitutions three different times I just put on my mask, shopped early hours with few people around. Even found toilet paper and paper towels they said were unavailable.
CTL says
I have a gag reaction to eating with metal utensils. I use wooden ones I ordered off amazon. I found them more durable than using ceramic/porcelain ones.
This set includes chopsticks:
https://www.amazon.com/Portable-Reusable-Utensils-Including-Chopsticks/dp/B07SFTFL1S/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?dchild=1&keywords=wood+utensils+set+eating&qid=1603498110&sprefix=wood+ute&sr=8-4
CTL says
Oops. Meant to attach this to the first posting. Context, context, context.
Susanna says
I slice mine in half and cook them on medium high for about 5 min depending on the size. In the centre of each you can put a little water or butter to help with the cooking. Once they’re done, fill each half with a filling. Quick and easy: baked beans or creamed corn. They are also great with minced meat dishes like chilli or Bolognese or some nice cous cous. Or with butter, cinnamon, nutmeg, clove etc.
Pristine says
Bicycle jog covers for my parents????
Debra says
I thought it was a typo when ordering a 12 oz can of hominy for soup. Nope, I got 120 oz can of hominy. I am now ready to feed an army. I got three cans that size lol.
JustJillinFL says
Me Too! I wonder if it was at the same store? You don’t happen to live in FL do you?
It’s sitting on a shelf in the garage. I’m single. I won’t eat that much hominy in the remaing years of my life. ????
Debra says
We also got five large containers of dried grits. Umm, hmm ok. I guess we need to learn how to cook grits that we did not order but we got.
Debs says
I ordered a pound of fresh spinach.
Received a pound of fresh kale.
I hate kale.
My friends were very happy with my food gift.
Denisetwin says
I ordered a box of Naturtint hair dye – I received a paint pen with permanent white paint…..
Jane C. from New Orleans says
????????
Terrie Cunningham says
????????
Linda B says
I have been doing the online/pickup grocery shopping for over a year now and I love it! But I have never ended up with Clorox instead of chicken thighs, either!! It saves me a ton of money because I don’t do any impulse shopping (I am THE WORST!). However, I shop at a Dillon’s and their shopping site has a space at every item that you can give very explicit directions for what you want. I do hope you eventually got your chicken.
Ruth Ray says
I prefer Instacart to Safeway because the picked will ask about substitutions. Also the Safeway order is picked in the morning at a store some distance away. Safeway is cheaper but the substitutes are wackier. Now at the start of lockdown both got really squirrelly. They have gone back to pre-lockdown service levels. I was looking at Walmart+ but from your reports I will pass. Yeah substitutions are a little spice of life moments but I’ve not yet received drain sticks for chicken thighs.
(The only time Safeway called was when the credit card was rejected.)
Tara says
I had a problem with potatoes as well. I ordered a 5lb bag but got one lonely potato instead. Unfortunately I was charged the price of the 5lbs bag.
Jean Reads says
I ordered regular bleach, which we mostly use for cleaning hummingbird feeders. Received lavender scented bleach instead. We never buy scented anything. All our soaps and laundry detergent is unscented. So we are the wrong people to appreciate lavender bleach, and the hummingbirds probably wouldn’t like it either.
Jane from New Orleans says
March 1st, I thought I scored four large bottles of hand sanitizer. Not a chance. What I got was 12, count ’em 12, bottles of soothing aloe vera hand soap.
Hardly interchangeable. ????
Of course, not nearly as bad as drain sticks for chicken thighs! ????
Melody Clark says
I too use delivery and have gotten used to the odd substitutions I’ve received, or groceries not delivered due to availability. Still a great service.
Just a note to say thank you for your stories whenever they come out,I’ll buythem.
Also awhile back you Had asked about a new series to read, sector general by James white may interest you both,and they are nothing like your work,but for some reason they give me a similar satisfaction as reading the innkeeper series. Hope they give you something new too enjoy. Also on a lighter side you may enjoy spider Robinson if your looking for something completely different.
That’s all. Just a thank you and a suggestion for that long reading list when you get a moment or two for yourselves.
Stay safe. Be well.
Susan D says
I have read Spider Robinson and really like his “Callahan’s Crosstime Saloon
” series. The Sector General by James White had several characters I enjoyed getting to know. Did you ever read any of E E “Doc” Smith’s lensman series?
I have ordered a few times from Fry’s. They did not provide any interesting stories to share. I did have one delivery person start to leave groceries at my door. Fortunately he knocked and I managed to get there before he left.
CJ Evans says
My favorite is ordering a case of dog food (12 cans) and getting a can of dog food as a substitution. My 3 dogs do not find this amusing.
Sakura says
3 Bags of Sweet Potatoes – Yikes! You did get credit back though, right? Then I would just drop them to the local food bank. I started my delivery odyssey in June. I’ve had groceries and prepared food delivered (more than pizza). My credit card offered DoorDash free for a year, yay????. I tried a number of Grocery deliveries and decided to sign up for Instacart. They’ve been very communicative and when they mess up, instant credit and no returns. The only really weird one – I received 2 large bags of granola from Target/Shipt that I hadn’t ordered & thankfully, was not charged for. I’m guessing there are some sad granola lovers out there missing their order.
Jennifer says
My folks finally returned to FL after 7 involuntary months overseas due to covid (they were lucky enough to be on retired vacation at a family members vacation home, so it could have been worse.) 16 hours after arrival, they woke up to the doorbell and found several grocery bags on their front porch.
I got a message thanking me for the groceries, with a little joke from my mom about the amount of Greek yogurt we expected them to consume.
I had no idea what she was referring to, so I called back as soon as my work schedule allowed, (I’m on the pacific coast, and the time zone is a factor.)
My folks had already retired for the night, so they got my confused denial of grocery delivery when they woke up the next morning…right after they discovered a silent early morning delivery of the exact same grocery order.
I finally connected with Mom, and as I was denying being the thoughtful kid that provided groceries, her doorbell rang again.
Her porch was covered in groceries and the delivery guys y was jumping into his car as my dad waived him down.
Short version – there was a glitch in google maps, and my parents shared the address number with a lady on the other side of town. For several hours her order was mapped to their house. They convinced the third driver to dial her number from their landline (rather than the less local delivery service number) and they connected. Somehow her “lost” order had finally arrived, so she told my folks to keep the food or donate it, because the delivery service had already taken the loss on the 3 (!) deliveries my parents got.
My folks have some meaningful food restrictions, and the delivery was eerily okay based on what they would get for themselves. Create an order for a diabetic, celiac couple allergic to dairy and soy, and you’ve got an idea of what the mistaken deliveries contained and why my folks would think I sent the food, minus the gallons of Greek yogurt.
They donated the yogurt to their church food pantry, along with most of the rest of the food (thinking at first it was sent by me, they made a few meals from the first delivery.)
I’m most proud of their worry that that never managed to tip the first two drivers with cash, and I reassured them on that point. They were happy that they convinced driver #3 to keep whatever he wanted after confirming the food was mis-delivered and paid for, (it can’t be returned once it leaves the store.)
I couldn’t resist, the next day I sent them a delivery of items I knew they could use and told Mom I didn’t want them to think I was a thoughtless kid and that I loved them more than google maps.
My brother didn’t take my email about the whole situation seriously, so he’s now the kid who doesn’t care if his parents starve.
Kells says
I don’t allow substitutions on my orders. My luck I would get some off brand stuff that would give hives.. (its happened, not an exaggeration)
Mostly here, I have to order groceries at midnight to 2 am. The websites get bogged down during the day.
Susan says
It’s a substitution! It started with drum sticks and became drain sticks! I hope you called and got your chicken thighs. Were you able to keep the drain sticks free of charge or, at least, return and get a refund?
Mary Beth says
My favorite substitutions: A ‘family sized’ can of Campbell’s Chicken Soup instead of a cut up chicken.
A box of scented baby wipes instead of two jars of salsa.
Since neither Hubby or I can eat the above, he opted to grocery shop in person during designated times. (He goes, I don’t.) We laughed over the baby wipes a while, though.
Patricia Huff says
I ordered 3 bananas, got 3 bunches. Banana bread here I come.
Aurora Ebonfire says
Jamba juice, it only takes them 8min to make our order and since the store is only 10mins awayits ready for pickup when we get there.
Susan says
Just ordered chocolate tea from harney.com and even got 20% off order using a coupon code TRICK20 and with free shipping! Usually have orange pekoe and black tea blend so this will be an adventure, but I love chocolate so we shall see how this works out. Wondering if there is any good chocolate coffee out there.
Sorah says
I ordered 3 cartons of eggs and received 9 cartons! Still making our way thru them!
Karen RS says
thank you. I laughed so so hard had all these hilarious substitutions. (Love the evolution from chicken thighs to drain sticks; The person trying to cut A pumpkin in half with a sword (run! run!); leaks for leeks (omgwtfbbq)) I really appreciate everyone who is using this opportunity make life more enjoyable in these times. thank you; thank you; thank you!
SaidaeBee says
Completely got the ordered Individual items and got bags of them. Though my have been partly my fault for assume people would be logical.
Ordered six apples, made a note if they had a bag of them instead, that would be fine to sub. Thinking the perso would realize one bag has about six apples.
Nope… got six bags of apples! ????
Malinda says
Yeah, most of my orders have been correct, nothing to terribly bad in replacements. There have been a couple order where they forgot items and lately Instacart has been delivering my orders early, which is a real pain in the butt. Overall, it’s a crap shoot whether it’s worth the issues. I stopped using Instacart because of the off time deliveries.
Courtenay says
What I can’t figure out is that Metamucil powder has completely disappeared from all local supermarkets and pharmacies.
Terrie Cunningham says
I was surprised about flour. They were almost completely out of flour. They had one (1) bag of bread flour left. Who is using that much flour?
Joan L Dunlap says
I did the same thing with WM. I requested 3 individual sweet potatoes. I got 3 bags of them. I also ordered 3 bananas and got 6.
Lesley Denton says
The glimpses of your lives have been such a lift in the current gloom, thank you.
Kat Kimbriel says
I can give you a nice recipe for sweet potatoes and apples, baked in a casserole for 30 minutes. You steam the sliced apples for a few minutes before layering with the boiled sweet potatoes. And it is actually quite tasty. Very nice for a large group for holidays, if you like apples and sweet potatoes.
I still go get my own groceries. Avoiding people in the grocery is sharpening my ninja skills.
For the Clorox sticks, I have no idea and would hesitate to put one in a sink!
Gailk says
I kept trying to figure out the chicken thighs that turned into Clorox drain cleaners. The only explanation is the alphabet .maybe next after Ch is Cl Clorox. Cigarette Ci should be next but maybe they skipped to the Cl’s.
Or maybe it’s some random error.
Amanda says
From Kroger:
Ordered 2 of the pumpkin shaped Reese’s peanut butter cups (just 2 individual ones, one in milk and one in dark chocolate)
The substitutes – One bag of Reese’s Pieces and one 60 count bag of Reese’s peanut butter cups (still working my way through those over a month later).
They never seem to find replacements for the ice cream flavors (not sure how hard it is to find vanilla ice cream). Also, have learned to be careful about the number of items I order. I’ve ended up with lots of extra on more than one occasion. Still not sure why the 16 oz bag of store brand cheese was a substitute for the 8 oz name brand version, but luckily I like cheese.
Most of my substitutes have been pretty on point, but I turn off substitutes for anything I need that version or flavor. If Kroger doesn’t have it then I’ll run in Publix or Lidl and grab what I need. Still spend less time actually in the store that way.
Celeste says
This week my order was missing cinnamon, chocolate and lo mein noodles. And I received a bottle of red wine, a “you bake” half-baked baguette, fresh basil and two avocados I didn’t order. A few weeks ago they gave me 17 extra green bell peppers.
Celeste says
My close friend’s family has been sheltering at home and doing curbside pick up since the pandemic started. Last week her husband went inside the grocery store for the first time. Now three people in the house have a virus, waiting on test result. I’ll keep doing curbside…grateful for anything I receive.
CTL says
Ok, this has nothing to do with this thread other than I saw it at 4am, while I was reading this thread. I believe these thieves read the Hidden Legacy series.
https://www.cnn.com/2020/10/25/us/raccoon-bank-intruders-trnd/index.html
Allie says
My grandmother:
Ordered: 1 quart of milk (for her oatmeal)
Received: 5(!) bottles of wine
Terrie Cunningham says
Maybe it gives you what you need and not what you want.
Alicia says
the 3 biggest mix ups for me were
7 bananas turned into 7 bunches of bananas (I made so much banana bread)
fancy white wine vinegar turned into a gallon of white vinegar
red grapes turned into grape tomatoes
most substitutes are fine but every once in a while I get something that is chosen/fulfilled either by a dolt or a computer program.
Renee says
Lol. Looks about right. Last week I ordered 1 pound of beets. What I got was 1 tiny tiny beet.
Liv says
I got giant rutabaga for rhubarb twice. I gave up.
Recently shopped for craft paper and coffee.
viwiles says
That is both hilarious and unfortunate! I hope they credit you for the drain cleaner sticks though since that’s unfortunately not an appropriate substitution ????
Chaya says
This massively tickled my fancy! Thank you for the share and giggle.
Amery says
Oh mannn do i feel bad for the family with the clogged drain ???? Wtf are they gonna do with chicken thighs?
Stephanie says
I ordered frozen corn for a recipe the kiddos were making. They substituted a huge bag of frozen okra. We are not fans of okra. I told the kiddos when life gives you okra, make gumbo. It was delicious.
Sage6 says
I’ve had some weird substitutions in grocery orders before. Canola oil cooking spray sub canola cooking oil. Tri-tip steak subbed for entire tri-tip. Thankfully the store refunded the money on the tri-tip but wouldn’t take it back. I also explained they were substituting for the wrong word in item. I’d rather have different steak and cooking spray. That’s why I prefer the ability to add notes to items in and order instead of generic same item different size. They’ve also added Item/wt. to the boxes when choosing meat or produce. One store even calls and talks to you over the phone about items they have to sub and whether you want the sub or leave it out! Now if I can just get both things on the same grocery website it would be wonderful. The Clorox wands for chicken thighs is just bizarre.
Rose says
I got another single four-pack of wine today when I ordered a single can. Also a entire 24 inch by 10 inch by 10 inch box to package a single 8-oz tub of duck fat.
Robin Moore says
I ordered cocktail shrimp from amazon fresh. I bought shrimp cocktail sauce. They sent us colossal shrimp instead. We could ride them as a 2nd form of transportation.
Ulrike says
I ordered: Sliced bread.
I got: Nothing.
I submitted negative feedback on that, and the store manager called and confirmed that the store was not, in fact, completely out of every single variety of sliced bread and a substitution should have been made.
I ordered: Medium box of frozen taquitos as requested by tween.
I got: GIGANTIC BOX of frozen taquitos, which almost didn’t fit in the freezer(!) and my tween, teen, and college kid all tired of taquitos before they ran out of taquitos, which I didn’t think was possible.