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Book Devouring Horde: TNG

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As you all know, Ilona and Gordon are currently deep in the writing cave finishing Maggie 2. The cave door is closed. ASMR keyboard clatter can be heard faintly in the distance.

If you look at the homepage, you’ll see a new countdown clock to the release of This Kingdom Will Not Kill Me. Nineteen days and counting.

With Maggie arriving so soon, there will be an influx of fans to our ranks. New blood and ideas, fresh, innocent Horde recruits for us to corrupt into our Dushegub ways. Obviously, we cannot simply throw them into the middle of things without preparation. That would be irresponsible.

These are some of the field notes I’ve gathered after years of careful study. The list is not complete, and I will require your assistance to improve it.

  • Devouring: goes without saying. The book is finished ideally within hours of release. Extra points if you manage to ask about the sequel on the same day.
  • Character Adoption Program: main sponsored charity of the BDH. Any character who appears on page can be instantly adopted by the Horde. We will demand to know their entire life story, “Is there a scene about how …” emotional journey, and future romantic prospects. (Puffles4Ever. Klaus Klaus Klaus, barsa barsa barsa. Never forget!)
  • Petition habits: already hinted at above, the BDH mobilization on request-protocol is famous fandoms over. Teasing us with characters? Jokes about books that don’t exist? We make them happen. Been there, done that, have the ebook, paperback and audio to prove it. Who’s laughing now?
  • Rereading conspiracies: The first read is for enjoyment. The 24 subsequent rereads are for enjoyment and investigation. Why did Linus sneeze right there? Could it mean that he’s actually Augustine in disguise and what does Sergeant Teddy have to say about this? No such thing as “small detail from Chapter 3” and we all know it.
  • Announcement Analysis: A casual announcement, cover reveal, or unassuming sentence in a blog post such as “we are working on something”. The Horde studies this information carefully. Rest assured, we’ll get to the bottom of what it really means. The rumour mill always grinds.

Please add your observations in the comments so we can continue expanding the newcomer guide.

For those wishing to determine their precise Horde alignment, the classification quiz is available below.

20200

Which BDH team do you belong in?

Ah, the Book Devouring Horde. Whether you're sprinting off into the wilderness of speculation, hold firmly to the foundations of fact, vibrate with anticipation, or discuss everything into the ground- we are a force of nature. Where do you stand, when you stand with us?

1 / 9

A serial or snippet you want to reread has been archived on the blog. How do you react?

2 / 9

Ilona has posted an April Fools' joke about a new book. What do you do?

3 / 9

Someone shipped Julie and Saiman. Your first instinct is:

4 / 9

House Andrews tell us that "The next Innkeeper book will be the end of the missing parents series arc". What does this mean to you?

5 / 9

How do you react to the three words most dreaded by the Horde: w*it, p*tience, d*lay?

6 / 9

A BDH colleague posts a theory you don’t agree with:

7 / 9

House Andrews mention a new character in passing. What's your first thought?

8 / 9

It’s release day of a new Ilona Andrews book, what do you comment?

9 / 9

There's a new snippet on the blog. How do you react?

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  5. I am chalant! I don’t feel chalant, but won’t argue with it. I’m w*iting for Maggie. Chalantly.

  6. Team Facts are King! We would like to devour but we also acknowledge the work put into each serial, snippet, short, and novel. Just sending out love to the BDH and standing on the sidelines reading the theories while eating warm chocolate chip cookies.

  8. Team Chalant!

    Do get a cookie??? Or an extra snippet? Ok. Fine. I will be very chalant.

    Is there a way to read about the other teams without faking the quiz?? 🙂

  9. Shipping Devotion! – We will ship first character we read with first eligible character we read, fervently, even if they live in two entirely different planes of existence (emotionally, character developmentally, physically per story even) – #TeamMetalRose

  11. Team Dushegub. I don’t comment when a new book comes out, I devour! Sleep? I can sleep after I have devoured.

  12. “Minor plot holes” are not holes, they are deliberately placed to make room for future expansion, possible spinoffs, and alternate realities.

  16. Team Dushegub for the win. Do you want to discuss? And when is Maggie sequel coming out? All joking aside we are so beloved.

    • Are we all Dushgubs because it’s been so long that we’ve been waiting for Maggie? I’ve read the beginning in four different iterations.

      This is your fault… I used to be Team facts in the last quiz.

      Proposal: we provide tea, yarn, video games, hugs and encouragement and you write more? Do we wish to discuss? And what about Kate book 1.5?

    • Is getting a pack of Emotional Support Fries an option? I would like them in enamel pin form, please!

  26. Team Facts and Facts be damned is real and you must choose a side. Just don’t ask Steve to help you!

  27. To ship or not to ship! Our favorite way to divide into factions. Team metal rose 🌹 I’m looking at you!

  29. Yea! I’m so very CHALANT 🤪

    I’m waiting, patiently I might add, for the Book and then the Book Release Party!

    I’m so patiently waiting….

  30. I seem to have switched factions from last time and am now a Dushegub – must be because Mercury moved to a new bookca- house or something 😉

    Love the idea of new fans joining the Horde. We should probably tell them about special words like ripper cushions, and being chalant, and Steve? So they can laugh (and w*it) with us and not feel excluded but very welcome and live vicariously through Steve’s adventures in Nav?

    Also I feel we really need an updated Fan Tea Party once Maggie has landed. Hmmm. I think I can see the Dushegubness now 😂😂

    • Definitely define “chalant”! When that person comes along and says don’t you mean nonchalant??

      • Chalant can mean different things to the factions of the Horde. For me, it can mean being fluffy, and yes, using the words patient, wait, hold out, and whatever else we need to do so Ilona and Gordon don’t throw stuff at us because we want everything now.

        It’s also a play on non-chalant since we can’t be patient all the time.

    • +1

      A glossary of in-horde-jokes would be great. I know ripper cushions (squeeee!) and chalant, but am drawing a blank on Steve.

      • Steve is a character from a blog post about the BDH. He is the BDH member that is extra extra. Maybe a couple more extras in there.

  31. I don’t understand how i can be Team Chalant 🤨🤨🤨… my refresh rate is probably 50… I claim to w*it p*tiently but that is a fake front…

    Team Chalant it is… Going back to fakely w*it p*tiently for 19 days to pass while h*ping for a Special Edition Announcement.

    • I’m guessing you faked yourself out when taking the quiz….stuff upper lip and all that!

    • No, that is in fact the very essence of chalantness – we are all salivating and gnashing our teeth futily, but we know that having a tantrum won’t make the days go faster and we do not want to drive Ilona and Gordon into having to take mental health days, which would mean fewer words per day. We know that w*iting p*tiently is the best way to get all the books as soon as possible!

  32. Do not forget, gobbling the book in hours. Lounging in my comfy chair wishing for an excellent chef with attitude named Orro, to bring me my breakfast and if the book is long enough, lunch. Then moving on to the audio book to catch the stuff missed while gobbling. All the while wondering if we really have to wait the proverbial publishing year to get the next one.

  34. Newcomer guide (well done Mod R!) should maybe explain Steve (not that anyone can really explain Steve 😂) but he does pop up often enough to warrant a reference.

      • I agree that I would like a _pointer_ to all the BDH references. So, not a complete glossary, as such – it would remove the pleasure of discovery and dilute the in-ness of the references.

        But a glossary of pointers to references (so ripper cussions are encountered in Sweep of the Blade, for example. Go find it yourself).

        It would also serve as a useful reminder tool, since my memory is not always the best, and I forget exactly where Barsa (somewhere in the Inkeeper series) came from and also Dushegub (Roman’s book or a reference from his cultural background, anyway?)

    • Steve is a character from a blog post, I think by Ilona, about the BDH. He is the BDH member that is extra extra. Maybe a couple more extras in there.

    • Steve defies explanation. You cannot know Steve, only experience him. Steve is all and none of us. Also, he occasionally tries to burn things.

      • Sometimes (usually) without trying. Steve is the fictional member of the BDH upon whom all our worst ideas r blamed. You know those bad days when everything u try to do somehow just goes wrong? That’s everyday for Steve.

  35. I’m laughing so hard my eyes watered up to the point I had problems reading the quiz. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    Team Chalant for the win (FIW)! We may be fluffy, but underneath all that lies a darker side of “we want the precious now!” 😉😁😂

    Also, the April Fool’s joke question was hilarious. I kept thinking about Hugh.

    Thanks Mod R for the laughs. May we get new members to bend to our ways.

    • Actually, it should have been FTW instead of what I wrote above. Sheesh, too much laughing, and not enough thinking. 🤦‍♀️

      • I am so glad you clarified. I stared at FIW way too long trying to puzzle out what it meant. Did I miss a secret acronym that is specific to the BDH? How could that be? What is this?? For Information Wait? Fast Ilona Win? Fasten Icons Where?

        • This is what I get when laughing too hard while typing. 🤦‍♀️🤣🤣🤣

        • Fully Intense Whinge

          (As one does when immediately wanting the next book to appear after done devouring the just released book in hand.)

          • INDEED! ModR, please note this reference down for the reference/glossary, since I suspect FIW in now in the BDH vocabulary forever!

            Also, while I am convinced that we need to find a way to clone HA, if the glossary/reference becomes a thing, we may need to clone MorR as well…

    • Yes! This!! We try to b fluffy, we do. Mod. R knows us so well! Does anyone else shudder in revulsion at the very idea of shipping Julie and Saimon? Just no! Oh, ok, so pretty much all of us? Kate would definitely kill him. And Curran would watch her with immense satisfaction. And help her hide the body. #TeamMetalRose #TeamChalant #Puffles4ever

      • Julie would kill him before Kate ever knows about it. If not Julie, then her uncle Hugh would come down to Atlanta to bash Saiman’s head in. Hugh did offer to come to Atlanta after all. 😉

        The dark side of Team Chalant comes out into the open.

        • Derek would also hop aboard the Let’s Murder Saimon train. Even taking romance out of it he’s always been quite protective of Julie and he really, really hates Saimon.

          • It’s hard to know who would b most eager to help. That train would easily sell out. But, yes, Julie can clearly take care of herself. I was more picturing her when she was younger, living w Kate. But thinking of the sheer number of ppl who would b eager to help kill Saiman does make his choice at the end of the big battle pretty understandable. Sigh.

  36. So I’m on team Truth Be Damned. I like it. What were the other teams? And how is Hugh2 coming along???

    • I think they are the usual suspects of Team Facts are King, Team Facts Be Damned, Team Chalant, and Team Dushegub.

      Mod R, did I get all of them, or am I missing a team?

  37. Team Chalant. A very true representation of my feelings.
    Also, Team Metal Rose, Team Wilmington Pack, Team Arabella and Michael (?), Team Inkeeper Weddings (yes, must be plural!), etc.

  38. Team Chalant? Well perhaps age does bring a little mellowing.

    Seconding idea for a bit of glossary somewhere easy to find.

    Thank you Mod R for brightening the w*it!

    • ArlanD

      Kill small typing keyboards or the world burns. Discuss?

      (Really … who doesn’t agree with the Dushegubs on this one?!)

      • I’ve gotten used to my hubby’s frequent response of “I” when texting. He actually means “k” ofc. And become reasonably adept at telling when my father-in-law replies using his watch to text. Although it’s not always possible to decipher the intended meaning…so, sure I’m with u.

      • I might take a small side quest from my membership in The Facts Are King to join you in getting Maud and Arland to altar tout de suite.

  40. Team Chalant…. Hmm… sure… sounds legit

    My non-work tabs have the following: Goodreads, Ilona Andrews blog, T.A. White blog (because she has decided to also drop posts in a serial), and The Reactor chapters of Maggie… Totally Chalant. I only update the blogs 50 times a day.

  44. Huh. I’m evidently Team Chalant. It’s official.

    And honestly, the description does fit. ModR is scary sometimes with these.

    You are happy to go with the flow, but you would like to know what time the flow starts and how many pairs of socks you need to pack for it.

    Yes, actually, I would like to know what time the flow starts. My socks are ready. 🙂

    • Because wet socks r the worst! And scheduling really helps the fluffiness. Who can b fluffy w wet socks?!?

      Thanks, Mod. R!

      • Wool socks still keep you warn when wet, up to a point. You can step in cold water with them and within a few seconds of stepping out, your feet warm up again. There’s a point of no return obviously, where they or you have just been too cold for too long. For your basic wet grass or cold puddles and creeks though, wool works well until you can change to dry ones.

        So maybe consider what kinds of socks – height too, of course. 😀

  45. I’m putting this out there…no one come for me!!
    I think the BDH is on the same level as the Swifties…and that’s a compliment.
    I love coming to the comments to find out what I missed (that was right in front of my face) or the newest conspiracy!
    Team Dushegub, but also a little Team Facts Be King!

  47. I would add the following terms and explanations for newcomers:

    Chalant:

    Ferret Heisting: (although this embedded term could be an aspect of “rereading conspiracy” or “announcement analysis.” This refers to how we constantly are looking for the ways our brilliant authors take us on these wildly inconceivable adventures, which we totally buy into, didn’t see coming, and then realize they did again.)

    Team affiliations: (much more complicated than Twilight’s)

  48. Apparently I am Team Dushegub. I really thought I was was exhibited temperance with my answers too. I guess I am very Chalant! lol

    Also, Kudos to ModR for placating the ravenous Horde lololol

  52. this is brilliant – thank you
    from Team Facts Be Damned
    also agree put a note about Steve in the Newbie BDH “welcome to the neighbourhood guide”

  54. I’m team facts but what if Klaus actually was a dragon? Crazier things have happened and I’ll admit that once Inheritance came out I’m a full believer in all the books are connected theory. It’s been dangled fruit in the vine and there are no take backs.
    I’m so excited for more people to join the BDH it’s been a very special part of my week to check the blog and I’m so excited for more people to join. I know we joke about having to wait but we’re beloved and I’m so excited for all the extras that are going to come along with this new book.
    Will there be a zoom Ilona and Gordan book chat for Maggie’s release?

    • +1000!
      We now have Edge+Innkeeper+Inheritance+(Legacy). Kate seems to have been left out of this Series ship. Oh, and Kin, which doesn’t get nearly the attention.

  55. Team Chalant! I can’t wait until the month of March is over, some stuff will hopefully be finalized, and even better I get to reward myself with Maggie. So excited!!

  57. Oh Mod R, you’ve done it again!! I’m picking myself up off the office floor. Again. 🙂

    One other thing to add to your list…don’t know what to call it. But it’s the “this is only going to be a novella” or “it really won’t sell ’cause it’s too dark” or “it just can’t be the next big thing” (all my paraphrasing). And then it turns into Maggie. But we ALWAYS knew Maggie was a thing. A big thing.

    Grocery lists and text exchanges are things. 🙂

    All the love to House Andrews. I hope that in the midst of crazy writing and publication promotion, they are having quiet ASMR moments about the amazing things they create.

  58. Team Chalant all the way!!!!
    PS – spell check keeps trying to tell me I’ve misspelled Chalant – bite me spell check, go find your own Zen!
    LOL

  59. Quite a few of us do remember that Iron and Magic was SUPPOSED to be an April Fool’s joke. How well did that work?

    • I agree with Mechcat. However, I think Ilona and Gordon learned their lesson on that.

      It’s like the “Don’t Mess with Texas” motto. “Don’t Mess with the BDH”. 😂😂😂😂

  60. Something about “Team Facts Be Damned” into some of the above might be pertinent, but, as always, dear Mod R, you are a delight.

  61. The Horde also hoards. We end up owning multiple copies of every book — ebooks, audiobooks, GraphicAudio versions of the audiobooks. physical books, special editions, etc.

  62. – Lurking on blog and fighting for first, especially whenever a serial is being released

    – Relentless requesting of merch

    – Petitioning specific voice actors

    – Identifying the spoilerier of the pair and direct questions with hope to inspire into unplanned reveals in webinars

    • No, ofc it’s not bad. Welcome to Team Chalant! We need all the teams. Otherwise how could we b a Horde?

    • No. Welcome to the team that tries to keep the other teams calm. It may not work, but we try.

      Sometimes we sit back and let the other teams do their conspiracy work.

      • It’s always entertaining seeing what the other teams get up to while eating popcorn and drinking soda, watching from a safe distance. 🤣🤣🤣 Team Chalant is the safest team to be on.

  68. I was on Team Facts are King last time, but now I’ve landed on Team Chalant. Looks like I am losing my Jedi detachment and headed straight for the Dark Side. Next time, Team Sith (oops, I mean Dushegub) for sure.

    • Wait. Does this mean that BDH-Syndrome is progressive? What order do you think new fans will progress through?

      Facts are King
      Facts be Damned
      Chalant
      Dushegub

      (I don’t know all the team names. Did I forget one?)

      • Well, I definitely went from Chalant last time to Dushegub this time, so that lends credit to your theory 😉😂

  69. In your terms, you forgot Horde Mobilization. This is when someone tries to cheat our authors or steal their work, or the flipside, need encouragement to produce the work in other formats, and upon discovery the Horde descends enmasse to make them regret their actions (former) or make them realize how bad it would be to stand in our way (latter).

    • Adding to that – when a publisher, like Tor, buys the book(s) to publish, and doesn’t realize the fan base is very ravenous. We mobilize to pre-order everything. Even when we forget we pre-ordered a few months back, we try to order again. This Kingdom Will Not Kill Me in its various forms is a very good example of this. 😁

  70. You are a member of Team Facts are King. This makes total sense for me. Of course I am. LOL, I loved this quiz. I’ve already been passing around the Maggie snippet to all my friends and am ready to welcome all the Maggie fans to our beloved BDH

  73. Wheeeeee! Unhinged potential AND fluffiness! Sounds about right since I regularly vacillate between giddily devouring a new book and pretending patience for the next. PS, I’m a terrible actor 🤣

  74. As a proud member of Team Dushegub I kindly ask that you stop speaking about a Maggie Sequel – that one is a given and should be available soon. I was under the impression that Maggie is at least a trilogy and therefore you should give some hints about the third book now. Do you wish to discuss?

    Mod R, your awesome list now makes me feel at least like a journeyman BDH member – I am willing to ask for the sequel to the sequel even before the book is published.

  75. Team facts? That can’t be because obviously, we now need to know how Klaus became a dragon!!!!

    • Or, if Maud and Dina r also actually dragons who don’t know that they’re dragons. Maybe all dragons live as humans for their first century…

  77. I was going to make a deadline counter on my phone, but then yesterday I noticed the counter here. Thank you for adding it! Now I can visit the blog every day, and check how many days are left until the 31st, maybe that will make the w*ait pass faster… 😆

  78. I sure wouldn’t have placed myself in Team Dushegub. But, the description is pretty apt. I love your books and am absolutely thrilled by any and all of your writings. I reread them over and over too. I have all of your snippets and blog emails saved as well from waaaaayyyy back. Before 2008 at least. Love your writing

  80. LOL. Yeah, pretty much. crreeeekkkk hiss hisssss…

    You belong to Team Dushegub.
    The Dushegub Division DEVOURS the books, tearing through stories like hungry, page-shredding beasts. You do not fear spoilers, for they only make you stronger! Your natural habitat: The comments section, armed with Proposal #37: New Spin-offs and Why They Are Necessary.
    Without the insatiable hunger of Team Dushegub—creeeek, hisssss, hissssss, knock—we’d probably accept things far too easily and discuss a lot less. Which would be a tragedy.

  82. Team Chalant on the first pass. Heheheh this was fun, thanks, ModR! Will have to try a few other renditions and see what I get. Love the field notes, too. And no, I’ve not forgotten about Puffles! Keeping hope alive here.

  83. I would not call the rumor mill a ‘grind.’ I think it saddles up and gallops off in multiple directions!

    • I have a peppermill named the “pepper cannon”. The BDH rumor mill is *exactly* that kind of mill. Tuned to a fare-thee-well, can produce exceedingly fine (or barely cracked, and everything in between) results, and lots of it, with barely a whisper of force to turn.

  84. Team Chalant! I have learned P*atience, thrould long effort and terrible w*aits. It always ends, and the book is worth it. Sigh. It’s just soooo haaarrrd, though. *faint sobbing*

  85. “You are happy to go with the flow, but you would like to know what time the flow starts and how many pairs of socks you need to pack for it.” -Team Chalant

    oh my, I feel so seen! This describes my real life too, esp the socks…

  86. Team Facts be King! It works for me. I find I enjoy being sallow. Others hunt and search and I can enjoy their fevered results. lol

  87. Oh good! I’m Team Dushegub!!!!

    Under “Devouring”, what about asking about the sequel before the publication of the first book?

    You forgot one of our primary joys: SHIPPING!!!!! Team Metal Rose all the way!

    A minor habit: reading all of the blog posts even when you don’t knit or have any intention of learning to knit (or whatever other topic) just to be reading words by House Andrews

  88. Team Dushegub. After my devouring habit, my fate was sealed. But I will go down with this ship proudly. Do you wish to discuss? 😉

    If you approve, extra tip for The Horde Crowd: There are also Peaceful Watchers. We observe and enjoy reading comments (specially spoilers), but we don’t usually engage in discussions.

  91. I used to be team chalant but something about Maggie upgraded me to Murder Trees. Maybe my also Wynonna Earp Obsession? Either way I would love of where in the world the horde is. I keep bringing my BDH bag in hope of finding someone. Would you like to discuss?

      • I am going to make BDH stickers and put them on my car. This is the only sticker I will put there…

        Someone in Central Florida will recognize it and we will take selfies and email them to Mod R lol 😂

    • Who uses fart guns, must love Ferret memes and finds enjoyment in the terms of Do you wish to discuss?

  94. Checked to see if Steve’s name is mentioned and saw he’s already been name dropped ten times but never explained.

    Probably for the best, we don’t want to encourage him 😉

    Though he was mumbling something about initiations, pledge’s and hazing so perhaps someone should keep an eye on him. . .

  97. ModR, I know this may be out of left field… but it’s been bothering me. Do you know if House Andrews would ever write another book in the Kinsmen universe? I love those books so much. Reread, re-listened a few times now and kept wishing for a series from this universe.

  99. Team Chalant. I will w**t for the next book/snippet/hint. Meanwhile on a computer not to far away from me, refresh, refresh, refresh.

    • Mu hubby is learning to play the Pink Panther theme, practices often. This is what I’m going to b thinking, from now on. Ha!