This weekend I bit the proverbial bullet and tackled my closet.
I hadn’t cleaned my closet in 5 years. It doesn’t seen to bad until you consider that when we moved, I simply transferred the hangers from one house to the other. Some of my clothes were so old, they could’ve gotten their own driver licenses. Over the years, my side of closet had become a bit postapocalyptic, with stacks of folded clothes forming small towers, sweatpants in random places, various size labels on the floor, and drawers stuffed with bras which I will never wear.
Finally the situation reached a critical point, so I got some large garbage bags for donated and thrown away clothes and went to work. The plan was that if it’s stained, too small, too ugly, or falling apart, it went into one of the bags. It took roughly 5 hours and now I have questions. So many questions.
Questions like what is this shirt? When did I buy this shirt? Was I suffering from an ocular migraine when I bought it because this has to be one of the ugliest shirts in existence?
This shirt is half as old as my children. How long was I planning on keeping it?
Why are so many of my shirts terracotta-colored? I hate terracotta.
Why do I have so many shirts with horizontal stripes? Not only they are not flattering, I don’t really care for stripes.
Why do I own two identical shirts with horizontal terracotta stripes? What is going on here?
How and where did I buy a sack-shaped, shimmering gold metallic shirt that is two sizes too big and has a collar encrusted with shiny rhinestones? I would never wear that in a million years. Did I just have a sudden, irresistible urge to impersonate a giant Ferrero Roche chocolate? Because with my figure, that’s exactly what I would look like. How did this get into my closet? How?
Why do I own so many long-sleeved shirts? I live in Texas. I get to wear long-sleeved shirts exactly 30 days out of a year, if that. Why do I have so many soft, warm sweatshirts? Did I forget that we have to run AC in winter? Maybe it’s just wishful thinking?
Why do I own a very thick, retina-burning shade of magenta, too-small sweatshirt that says Austin on it? Did I forget where I live? Perhaps I just thought it would be lovely to advertise Austin to my neighbors, all of whom react to the word “Austin” in exactly the same way, by wincing and going, “Ugh, traffic.”
Why do I own so many sweatpants? Did I expect a sweatpants shortage? Did I confuse sweatpants with flour during the pandemic? I love sweatpants, but this is wildly excessive.
Why do I own so many leggings and why do some of them look like they were designed by someone at the heights of their acid trip? I don’t like leggings. I wore leggings like twice in the last year. I will have to wear them more often now because I have them, so I should get my money’s worth.
Why is there a collector’s copy of Small Magics buried under the stack of T-shirts? Was I hiding it from the robbers? Also why is there a box of Sharpie fine tip markers in roughly the same vicinity? Was I planning to hold a signing session in our closet?
How many bras does one woman need? Let me rephrase that, how many bras that don’t fit does one woman need?
In conclusion, I have made several resolutions for myself.
One, I will never buy a T-shirt from Tee Fury no matter what kind of cuteness is printed on it. They are all too thick and the fit is not flattering on me. They all end up in the back of the closet never to be worn.
Two, buying cheap sweatpants is not a good way to deal with stress, no matter what life throws at you.
And three, I’m forbidden to purchase additional T-shirts unless I’m willing to surrender one of the T-shirts I already own. It has to be like an ancient sacrifice. I must ascend the ziggurat via a staircase flanked by burning torches, carrying the sacrificial T-shirt on my outstretched arms and ritualistically deposit it into the donate pile while a gaggle of priests chants to themselves, “Let it go, let it go, let it go…”
Answer for terakota stripes shirt mystery. You’ve got terracotta daddy and stripe mummy closed doors and some privacy……
Hehehe ????
That’s a good one. ????????????
This sounds entirely too much like my closet.
You know stuff is like tribbles! And closets in particular seem to act as incubators. A little stuff becomes STUUUUUFFFFF over time. When I moved from my home of 33 years into a 400 square-feet-smaller house, I purged a great deal, including much (but not all) of my collection of 140+ scarves. Still salty at my sister for making me do that, too. Who needs 140+ scarves? Clearly, I did. ????
As Im recovering from my first cold in 3 years, i look at my apartment and closet and i feel like that. Just dont know how to start.
You got this, Anna! Start with out of season clothes or that one spot in your place that always fills with clutter. I set a timer for something easy – 5 or 15 minutes – so I can stay motivated.
If the clothes are half as old as your daughters, the answer to how is this in your closet might be “mother’s day gifts.”
If you have so many t-shirts you need to get rid of one to get one, chant “charitable tax deduction” instead of “let it go.”
My problem is that my mother used to go through my wardrobe with me every couple of years to get rid of the clothes that needed to go. With her gone since 2019, I don’t have a second opinion any more.
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That’s all I can say. I read this to the hus-beast who only could say “it sounds like my closet.” Oh, the clothes he owns and refuses to release from their torture.
I’m losing weight. That’s the good news, and for sure it outweighs (heh) the bad news by a lot. Nonetheless, there is bad news: clothes no longer fit. I’ve been donating clothes for well over a year now. I finished the summer with only one pair of shorts that still fit: dark tangerine that I bought for $7 more than a decade ago. What I’ve learned is that pants stop fitting long before tops do. Tops can be loose, drapey, tucked in, etc. while only yoga pants survive being too big. Jeans that are too big are the worst: they feel like baggy diapers. I’m not done with the weight loss, so I’m trying hard to squeak along with what I’ve got. I recently dragged out all my exercise bras which amazingly I now need for actual exercise. When all the tunic tops are too big, I will be very sad. They’re pretty.
Tunic top plus a pretty belt can take you a long way before they start to look entirely too large instead of “OMG, look how small your waist got!”
After Thanksgiving I finally admitted I’m not going to able to return to my pre-Chronic Fatigue Syndrome tinyness until there are a few scientific breakthroughs. I cleaned out my closet, the bins under my bed, and my stuff in trailing daughter #2’s closet — she’s the one who left home for all the wonderful adult stuff. Trailing daughter #1 has major health issues, so until she has a few scientific breakthroughs of her own…
But I’ve now got current size winter stuff in the closet and in the dresser, and current size summer and the best loved of the previous two sizes in bins under the bed — should I actually lose the weight I can fill in with things I need then, but at least I’ll start with only things I love — and a pule of size 6 turtlenecks, sweaters, and jeans for td #2 to decide on when we see her after she moves from Dallas to Chicago in two months.
The rest was offered to my favourite resale shops, with whatever they didn’t want being picked up by the veterans aometime tomorrow. Once you call them up and get on their list, they’ll call every few months to see if you have more for them — and they pick up the stuff from the front porch. I figure either they’ll hand things out to those in need or they’ll sell them to help veterans in need — either way it will do some good for those who earnt my support the hardest way.
I lost weight too. None of the colors work for me so I went to the thrift stores. Drop off a bag and then look for a smaller size. The price is low and I can find the colors I look good in. Cleaning out my closet was still a chore.
I feel this! 3 jobs and a farm means 4 sets of clothing (dressy to disgusting). But really? Do I need all those hoodies??? Yesssssss!
I could never get rid of a hoodie ????. I have an addiction. I wear them until they’re just hoods hehe. They get better the older they are!
ohhhhh… they’re so soft then! I’ll actually wash my favourite one even if there are (and there are) clean ones in the closet, just for the soft, warm, fuzzy ????
You absolutely need those hoodies. I could do a whole essay, or maybe even a poem, on the virtues of hoodies. And I don’t do poetry lightly. I’ve done exactly one since graduating HS 45 years ago, and that was about heated buckets and tubs. It takes a lot to move me to poetry, and hoodies would be a worthy subject. For next year. This year I have to sell the house and move closer to family. There will be further cleaning of closets.
Heated buckets and tubs are definitely worthy subjects. It’s going to be -20 here by the end of the week so I’ll be hauling hot water from the house to the barn. There will be poetry and it won’t be repeatable.
BTDT. On a sled. Thank God the barn is downhill from the house. You have my total sympathy.
OTOH hay bales on the sled can be kind of fun, at least relative to other loads. Yeehah! (Also as long as nobody’s watching.)
Wishing you warm wool socks.
Um, I don’t know how this happened, but I think you may have somehow ended up in MY closet……and I have all of the same questions that you do. ????
(Thanks for the chuckles though, and for making me feel it’s not just me that has closet issues!)
My comment on Tee Fury is to pay more for the nicer shirt material. Makes all the difference in how much you wear them.
Are we sisters from different misters? I feel like we are living parallel lives!
I need to go through my clothes. I’m pretty sure I wear exactly the same 10 outfits over and over again. I’m also pretty sure 50 percent of my clothes have holes or stains on them from the 5 children.
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Just did this same thing. Why does anyone need 15 pair of black yoga pants? ????????♀️
I should really clean my closet…. I’ll narrate the process to myself and hope to be as entertained as I am by this post.
Ilona,
Are you sure some of the leggings, sweats, and t-shirts aren’t Kid 1 and Kid 2s? Just checking, because maybe terracotta (color) was something to do with where they went to school? You know Pep-colors? Also, good luck with not buying t-shirts . 🙂 My obsession is Halloween themed t-shirts. I have a closet full and don’t intend to stop collecting. Also, Also, maybe some of those shirts were meant to be signed and given out, I mean there were sharpies nearby. 🙂 🙂 🙂
Hah! Just wait till you downsize. Everything goes in the can’t have more without jettisoning something else. That is books, kitchen gizmos, decor, furniture, exercise equipment of any kind, garden pots…..anything.
It does keep you out of stores and off line????♂️
E-books don’t take up any space at all… 😉
Going almost entirely eformat was a big deal for me, and it took four moves to get to where I am now. (One full size, and two very short bookcases, none of them especially wide.)
Now if I can just get my closet in order… (I “solved” the question of where to keep fleeces for spinning by buying two cabinets in which to store them.)
I tried making pet beds out of old sweatshirts & sweaters with mixed success. I already had everything & barncats aren’t fussy. Its easy & rewarding. Sew up the neck, stuff with whatever you have old bed pillows, ugly old clothes (!) whatever. Pull the stuffed & sewn sleeves around to the front of the body sew them together at the cuffs. Finally sew or tack the whole thing so it looks like a hug.
The less successful ones weren’t stuffed enough or the fabric stretched out of shape too easily. But the critters didn’t care.
Well done! Also, thank you for the giggles!
My cat is obsessed with my closet. He can get lost in there (and has). A friend gave me leggings for Christmas. They are made for someone 6’4” and I am 5’2” on a dry day. ????
With the weather forecast for Texas this week you may need to ‘rescue’ a couple of the sweatshirts. Hope all of HA stays safe and warm.
I think I need to see a pic of the Ferrero Rocher shirt!
I also discovered a pile of leggings that I didn’t know I had when I cleaned out my cupboards a couple of years ago, when moving house. I’ve since found they work perfectly under maxi dresses instead of tights.
The most weird thing I found when helping a friend was a suit jacket with another woman’s name badge pinned to it. Took ages for us to remember she’d accidentally worn it home one New Years!
Leggings under maxi skirts and dresses is my go to winter wear, so much warmer than trousers.
yep….I hear you. my question (to myself) is why do I cling to the (clearly batshit) notion that I will fit into dresses I last wore in my 20s?? I am now into my 40s and have carted these dresses with us on 5 house moves……
My kids climb through my closet to find “retro wear” for their parties where everyone comes dressed in 70s/80s – now I can’t get rid of anything because it may be needed! Ugh
Ha.
My friend and I have discussed the amassing of bras we never wear. We suspect an ancient (male) sorcerer has cast a spell on the middle aged women of the world to buy useless I’ll fitting bras. He owns the company that manufactures the millions of uncomfortable hooks in the back. And possibly the stretchy elastic that “fits” around the chest.
Laughing-at-us-gazillionaire.
I repurpose t-shirts with cute sayings into tote bags. They are easy to wash, make great gift bags and I get to keep smiling everytime I see the cute saying. You can either sew across the bottom hems or cut a fringe to knot. Cut off the sleeves to make handles and the collar too if the opening is too small to easily insert items. The cut off sleeves can be repurposed into caps for babies-adults depending on the size.
Reading quietly, occasionally chuckling to myself as I go through the trials and relating to your pain. Screeching to a halt! Wait, what!! A collector’s edition of Small Magics found? Can I go through your closet now? That would be worth the archeological dig. Lol
T-shirts can be sent out to services that will turn them into quilts if any are souvenirs you want to keep as memorial.
I commiserate with you on the bras. I’m still finding brand new bras that I got on sale when was a smaller — hard to find — size. No way will they fit but at least since new with tags they are in a condition I can donate without guilt. The bras I can wear and that are comfortable to wear, I wear until unbearable and in no shape to donate.
I have an addiction to long sleeve t shirts and will never get rid of those even though I only live probably 30 miles from Ilona and Gordon because where I volunteer at church is always too cold.
P.S. I had to empty my sister’s house out when she passed 5 years ago and memories of that mess help keep stuff organized.
This happened to me with my parents’ house. Best inoculation against hoarding ever.
OMGOSH the BRAS!
it seems that I also buy new bras and never throw out the old ones.
A few weeks ago I cleaned out my bra and panty drawer and threw out an entire kitchen trash bag of old bras and panties
I love this one because I am going through my closet the last couple days too. Why did I buy things in THAT color or that style? How many sweaters and Tshirts does one person need? Why keep old tennis shoes and other shoes that don’t fit well? All those questions we have about our closets when we really look at them. LOL
I feel you. My Sister-in-law and I are selling our house and plan on full-time RV-ing for at least a year. We have been going through our joint possessions since October. We make multiple trips to the junk yard weekly in a pickup truck. We fill our recycling and trash cans weekly. And we’re STILL doing it! Where did all this stuff come from! (To be fair, the last big clean out was 1988.)
May the satisfaction of the clean closet last longer than a week.
I’m coming out of a several years depression, where I also gained a lot of weight.
Was going through my clothes and was asking myself why I had so many shirts in unflattering colors. Like did I figure it didn’t matter anymore because it was a size or two larger?
I now have a very small wardrobe, but it all fits and looks good.
Good for you. That’s a hard road you’ve traveled.
Woot!!
I’ve been cleaning the office closet. After more than 30 years I am no longer a business that fixes computers. I have 2 55 gallon garbage bags full of old computer parts in the back of my truck. There are 3 printers and a dozen old laptops waiting to go into the truck. The closet is 4’x3′. And has a new light, new shelves and will have a curtain as soon as I figure out where I set the drill down. It’s now full of stuff that is not old computer parts.
At some point this year, I’m cleaning the attic. that’s going to require renting a dumpster and hiring a kid to haul stuff down.
So good on you for cleaning the closet. I’m not doing the bedroom closet until I settle on a weight/size.
We have to do this with golf shirts. One in, one out.
I needed that laugh! And I need to know where to find the Temple of LetItGo!
I sew, like a lot. With the exception of jeans and bra nearly every thing in my closet and dresser was made by me. I made one pair of leggings and I’ve worn them exactly 3 times over the last year. I am not a leggings person and hoodies I have a hoodie for every day of the week and I keep making them. I mean they are amazing but how many do I think I need? and if I’m going to keep adding to my closet perhaps I should consider getting rid of the clothes I’ve had for 15 years and wouldn’t fit this post 4 kids body in my wildest dreams.
Explain hoodies to me, please. I’ve never understood the appeal and I have none.
I tried some cheap leggings, but the black dye rubbed off on my white sheepskin. But under dresses is a good idea.
Hoodies, the substantial ones anyway, are for people who have to spend a lot of time outside. They’re cheaper than real jackets, and if you put the hood up they protect your neck and head. They generally have handwarmer pockets that will hold gloves, energy bars, sunglasses, dog treats etc.
You can put a hoodie over other layers. You go out in the morning, and as the day and/or your muscles warm up, you can tie the hoodie around your waist. They come in all kinds of colors, depending upon the vendor, and you can get them with all kinds of decoration.
The bad news is that they won’t keep you warm in the rain or snow; once they’re soaked, it’s hypothermia time. However a good-quality one will keep light rain or snow from soaking through long enough to get a couple hundred yards from one building to the next.
I hadn’t worn a hoodie since I was a white suburban kid, back in the 60s/70s, until Trayvon Martin was killed. The next day I went out and bought three – one each white, grey, and black. It didn’t take long to rediscover their virtues. By a month later I had one for every day of the week. They’re super practical for the money, especially for in-between weather.
Reminder: don’t read this blog in a work meeting (on zoom or on person) – my snickering and snorting was disconcerting to those around me. The ritual sacrifice of a T-shirt sealed the deal and I just started laughing so hard I shared the blog, everyone starting giggling because this is so relatable and we decided it was the best “safety”moment ever.
I have a somewhat similar situation, but everything does fit. I should probably donate what’s in my closet, since I have no idea when the last time I wore some of it was.
Otherwise, if I time my laundry to when I’m getting close to running out of underwear, I can do it once a month.
Yes! Unfortunately I never have enough shorts, but I can manage 2 weeks anyway. Will have to work on the shorts shortage lol
This scares me – mostly because it sounds like having to do a lot of laundry! I’m pretty good at doing laundry once a week, though every few weeks I need to do extra bedding, towels the cats have been using, etc. (But it’s not about not being able to get away with doing laundry less often… just, I’ve done it, and it’s not the best plan for me!)
Heehee been there done that. Congrats on cleaning out the closet. For me it’s dressy shoes or sandals I bought 30 years ago that I love but will never wear again ever. I had a lab job and rarely went out, what was I thinking? All the boots went too. Can’t stand to put them on in the TX heat, so why keep them for the 2 weeks a year I might wear them. And all the interview/convention suits are gone!! Yea!!
Now I want a Ferrero Roche impersonator shirt, it’s my favourite chocolate ????
I used the Konmari method on my clothes and it was the best thing I ever did. If it didn’t spark joy (or was actually necessary), I donated/dumped it. It’s so nice to wear clothes that I actually like and am comfortable in!
I find it so hard to let go of too small clothes. I lie to myself ‘you’ll lose weight, they will fit again one day’ …I whisper this to myself around the piece of chocolate in my mouth…
???? But sometimes it happens… Shrinking size … It’s not an urban legend ????
They breed. Personally, I own six white shirts in various configurations. I can’t remember the last time I wore one of these white shirts, but I have them. Ditto for jeans and black slacks. Literally my friends are to the point where they’re refusing to allow me to buy more black slacks or jeans since it is apparent that I never wear the ones I currently possess… And all of this AFTER I have cleaned out the closet twice in the last 18 months. One of my friends shops in my closet before she goes out and buys anything new.It’s an addiction, only slightly smaller than my shoe addiction. But, it’s a relatively innocent addiction and periodically throughout the year there are several women’s focused charities they get some really nice clothing.
lol, I clean out my closet and drawers at the onset of fall and summer(I’m in Georgia, and we only have two seasons, sometimes only one) I don’t know why I have more winter than summer clothes, and I always buy more winter clothes. Weird.
Mine is the only clean and organized closet in the house. I live with 2 cheerfully open hoarders, and 1 secret hoarder. I need a flame thrower.
Did the same. Lost a lot of weight and I was just swimming in my clothes. Did you know when you lose weight your shoes can become too big? Socks get bigger too. I now have no shorts, new jeans and new tops and a lot of empty hangers.
Like most women I have probably 25 to 30 pairs of jeans in various sizes, inseams, rises, etc. Never could throw any of them out “just in case” I needed, oh, ripped and paint-smeared mom jeans or I woke one morning and was suddenly 25 pounds lighter and needed low rise skinny jeans.
So I winnowed it down to what I wear and what I aspire to wear. I call the latter collection the “land of size 8”. Realistically I probably won’t ever live there again but now I can at least visit. And dream.
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me too I have to do a sort. 33 years and my wedding gress is in my closet along with dress one I don’t wear and two don’t fit. but I do a seasonal switch summer to winter. tee shirts out Merino in.
I feel your pain! I’m under the same regimen. If I get a t-shirt, I have to give one up.
On a different note. I think I’ve read Magic Tides at least 5 or 6 times now. New characters are kinda neat. It will be interesting to see how they fit into future tales.
Is that why Kate has so many sweatpants? Because you do?
I am in the process of doing my closet and I run across something hideous and ask WHY. Why did I buy this? Why do I still have this? Why did I think this was cute?
I was also doing the 20 year thing, but think I need to reduce it to at the most 5 years.LOL. If I haven’t touched it in 5 years, get rid of it. I am finding it exceedingly difficult.
I did my shoes last summer. It was so rewarding to have more organized floor space in my closet. I have been better at really buying clothing and shoes as needed. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t o whole lot clothes for me to still get rid of ????.