At some point in my life I have realized a simple fact: I can’t lose something if I always put it in the same place. Car keys? Always in a certain pocket of my purse. Glasses? Always on the bathroom counter or on the night table. Medicine? Always in the medicine cabinet by the office.
I rarely lose things. However, this superb system comes with an interesting drawback. When an object is moved from its usual place, it becomes invisible.
I am absolutely serious. I can be staring straight at it and I don’t see it.
The floor dudes stripped the layers of epoxy off our floor while we were on tour. They stripped it in the pantry too.
You know where this is going.
They moved the stuff from the bottom under the shelf space and they put it up onto the shelves, moving everything to make room.
I will now pause so you have a moment to absorb the full horror of this.
I spent five minutes in the pantry with a stupid look on my face and my thought process went something like this.
“Where is canned corn? I know we purchased corn. I left it right there on the floor under this shelf. It is not there now.
We had a large pack and there were at least six cans left. I know this because I had checked on the corn the last time we went to Sams and I specifically decided that we didn’t need anymore. Why can’t I see it?
Did one of the kids come and take the corn? But if they had taken it, surely they wouldn’t have 6 cans of it. Did I give the corn to Kid 1 when she was moving in? I gave her a bunch of groceries. Does she and Logan even eat corn?
No, it has to be somewhere around here. Where is it?”
Here is a picture of my rearranged pantry. You too can look for the corn with me.
Feel my pain. Feel it.
Also floors are still a mess. Crai.
PS. Gordon advised me to inform you that those are not our cheese balls or our pub mix. Those were purchased at the insistence of Kid 2 on account of our fridge containing nothing but “salad.”