This is a personal and not very entertaining post. I will ask you to keep your political views to yourself, please. Feel free to comment on the subject of the post, but if you feel the need to express your frustration with Republicans or Democrats, please do it elsewhere. You’ve been warned.
Because of my background, I’ve lived through the periods of political upheaval and social collapse. I’ve seen the government and social net fall apart. It taught me a certain resilience. When you get to the point where you can’t take it anymore, you learn that, no matter what happens, life goes on. My father is the perfect example of this. I’d asked him about Putin before, and he basically said, “Eh. Sometimes you live a little worse, sometimes you live a little better, but it doesn’t really matter to people like us. We can’t do much about it. Let it go.”
I can’t be quite so hands-off in my politics, but I have to tell you, I’ve reached the point where I can’t watch or read news anymore. I’ve switched to BBC and it helped for a while, because they seemed to be a bit more measured. But I log onto social networks, and it feels like a non-stop screaming. It is always an emergency. If it’s not a hurricane coming, it’s healthcare being taken away. It’s radical fear mongering against the refugees, or women, or incumbent Republicans or whoever the latest target is, followed by people screaming in outrage.
This morning, it’s about the lack of response to Puerto Rico, and possible nuclear war with North Korea, and police beating people in Spain, complete with pictures of people bloodied or up to their chest in water crying.
An elderly couple in their late seventies is forced to become a new kind of migrant workers because they don;t have enough money to retire. They are cleaning campgrounds and hotels, and they are a part of entire generation who can’r afford to retire.
A Wells Fargo teller stole money from a homeless person. What kind of a scumbag would do that?
It feels like the planet is boiling.
It has been proven that seeing images of people in distress and watching people at extremes of emotions, such as anger, sadness, and outrage deeply affects our psychological well-being. We are pack animals at the core. We sympathize. We are so good at it, we sympathize with made-up images when they exhibit human emotions.
From the professional point of view, I understand the logic behind sensationalizing every story. We react to emotional images and topic, and the stronger is the reaction, the higher are the ratings. But at this point it’s a non-stop bombardment.
The thing is, all these things were always happening. But before the explosion of technology, there was some way to shield yourself from it. You could turn off TV and walk away. Now it’s everywhere. It’s on the phone. It’s on Twitter. It’s on Facebook. It’s in my email. For the first time in a long time, I actually feel real fear about the future. I haven’t been in this place since my early twenties, when we were drowning in debt. I’ve donated money. I’ve called my congressmen, who ignored me. I volunteered my time to good causes. None of this seems to be making a damn bit of difference. I don’t know what else to do.
I’ve been trying to limit my exposure, because my job is to provide a break from all of that. The essence of my purpose as a writer is to create a novel that can give others ability to escape. Our work is that refuge in a storm, a place where a reader can go when their loved one is in ICU, when they had an awful day at work, or when life just needs an off switch. But at this point I can’t escape. I’m having the hardest time actually writing. Being a writer means cultivating a sensitivity to other people. You become a bit like a satellite dish in a constant receiving mode. Right now it’s too much. I understand why people go on retreats and hide for months in some secluded cabins. I can’t do that, because I am a wife, and a mother, and a friend, and I suspect I would be clawing at the walls within the second week, but I understand it.
So, in an effort to try to find some balance in life, I’m installing a plugin that will auto-Tweet the posts from the blog for me. I will view the comments and responses to those posts, but not immediately and if you want to get my or Gordon’s attention, the blog is the best place. Facebook tends to be a little less fear-inducing for me, so we will still be there.
Congrats. Good decisions!
I understand completely.
I appreciate your honesty and I understand. I’ve been on twitter only for a little over a week, it does induce a feeling of hopelessness. Do what you need for you. I look forward to more Kate, Dina and I hope Nevada ?.
*Agreed
I feel the same way. In my 67 years on this planet I have seen so much. We lived in New Orleans in the early 1960’s. But now, it all “in your face, all the time”. That’s why I read… and especially your books.
Sadly, I’ve gotten so distracted, that for the first time since I picked up a book,I can’t settle enough to read. Truly hope this passes soon. Its been 2 months.
I feel exactly like this; you put into words the sheer wrenching fear…the only way I can set aside this is to put on Netflix, and run through escapist fare like “Miss Fisher” or “Moana” as background while I work on art. (“Shiny!…”) At 70, I’ve seen truly horrible things that this country has gone through, but like Pandora, I always had hope. Now, not so much. So, I do what little I can (volunteering, caring for others, providing little joys through art). I’m determined to make my tiny slice of the world as beautiful as I can. That’s all I can do. But you…What you do is global! It is incredible and I look forward to your books; you make wonder with what you write. You bring escape into fascinating other worlds; awful creatures, complex people, and the glamour of magic come to life. Don’t ever let that go. There is power in that!
I so get that. I can’t watch anything anymore and have to scroll past it because the anxiety and stress can be paralyzing. It isn’t that I don’t care but that I care too much and can do very little about it. It’s hard and overwhelming.
Oh absolutely. It is overwhelming. Good for you for injecting some sanity.
Good move.
Thank you. I agree. Beautiful said.
Yes. That.
I totally understand. I feel much the same way and can no longer watch or listen to the news – not even NPR. I get my news from BBC and Germany. I stay on FB to keep up with friends but often it’s overwhelming. And I don’t even have twitter, thank goodness. Please continue to do what is good for you to stay sane in these trying times. I’m so appreciative of the wonderful writing you both do. Thank you for hours and hours of enjoyment and sanity.
You have described exactly the same journey that I have taken as a writer and a human being. I have disaster fatigue. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted. It has been affecting my writing, and I’ve had to take measures to protect myself so I can hopefully continue to do my job too. I can’t watch the news either. I have slipped back to checking my Twitter account more frequently, and it has been to my detriment.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone in this. I am there with you. I’m glad you’re taking steps to bring more balance in your life. I look to you as an example, and will continue to do the same. Xoxo
Thank you for building worlds where we can retreat! Thank you for giving us a place to go when we need a break from our world so we flee to yours. I know after spending some time in your world I can be a better person in mine. I agree we are being bombarded. My defense is kittens, and puppies, science feeds and hot guys. I boot the bad from my Facebook and keep the Aww. I check in with the world once a day then walk away. I work in an emergency room where my compassion, humor, and caring impact each and every life I touch. I can’t fix the big picture, however, every time a child smiles through their tears, a son or daughter thanks me for helping their parent, or I make a patient laugh instead of cry then I know I have made the world a better place. And isn’t that what we really need in the grand scheme of things? If every person worked at making their smile slice of the world a better place, then we would all live in a better world. Until that day happens I’ll just keep working on mine and keep escaping into yours!
I feel exactly the same way . Thank you for articulating it so clearly.
I’m very rarely on Twitter anymore. It makes me anxious.
I’ve turned to knitting podcasts on Youtube for sanity savers and entertainment as I knit. I can highly recommend Arctic Knitting Podcast, Knitting Expat Podcast, Skeindeer Knits Podcast, and Inside Number 23. I like the knitting aesthetic and philosophy of these ladies. I glom their backlog from episode 1 until I catch up, then move on to another knitting podcaster that they’ve mentioned. Lavender sachets. Tea. Glorious yarn. Love love love.
*HUGS*
I agree with everything you wrote. I am an extreme empath so I especially run to books when I am overloaded so I can get away from the reality of the world. It sounds childish but I 100% need the distraction. My husband makes fun of me all the time cause i always have my head in some kind of fantasy book and if not I tend to stay glued to the web to see every video I can see and search for the goodness, I cry for hours then I put down the phone and then pick it up a minute later. Waiting now to here from my family not knowing if they are starving and not able to do anything for them has taken a huge toll on my family in the states and I cling to the books I love so much just so I can get away for a little while. I end up dreaming of being in floods, getting robbed, saving my family and everything else. I’m sure it is so difficult for you to maintain the level of talent you have in these times but I hope you can continue to put out those great books as I am always waiting for that next book and truly appreciate your work ?
Sometimes you can get caught up in the short view. What is happening now reminds me of the 1960s.
I do believe the world is getting better.
http://startupguide.com/world/the-world-is-actually-getting-better/
I feel the same way. I don’t have cable and only use Facebook. But on Facebook I only follow authors, book groups, and historical pages. Everyone always asks about seeing this and that. Nope didn’t see it don’t want to. I listen to the radio at work. So I catch blips about headliners and that’s all I can handle anymore.
I deleted my main Twitter account. Things in my own life are pretty stressful so I didn’t need reading what Trump did. And now this weekend my Lymphadenitis flared up for first time in a year and is very painful. I had so much planned for this weekend but am now lying down for rest of the day. I still go on Twitter as I have friends there but a lot of the time I’ll scroll through a lot of the retweets of what is going on in the world and let it go. The forces occurring in the world right now won’t stop unless there is a major upheaval, an impeachment, assassination or political coup. Something will have to happen before the world tilts back to a better place.
Thank you for your books and providing some temporary refuge from stress.
I think advances in technology have surrounded us with news sensationalism so much more than just a decade or three ago. Cutting back on social media seems to help. Good luck.
I’m not there yet, but i respect your understanding of yourself and willingness to act in self-defense. Peace to you!
Agree with you on every point except Facebook being less aggravating. I have lived in Dallas most of my adult life, and all of my 33 years of recovery. I was active in my AA group, even when driving over the road. I had a lot of friends on my Facebook account from that area. I moved home to Peoria,Illinois (to die) about 1 and 1/2 year ago. By election day I had unfriended, or been unfriended by, 4 out of 5 of my list. It isn’t that I don’t want to be their friends, we have been through a lot together, but I do not want to fight with them every time I see an ignorant post. And I will call them on it, every single time. I am new to twitter and most of the people I follow are sane, so I don’t find it quite as feisty. But you are right, after a while it drags you down and it is time for mindless tv series binging. I have just about completely stopped watching news on tv. I log into the MS headlines throughout the day and if something big is happening I will check 2 or 3 different channels, always end up pissed off though.
I can relate. Sending virtual hugs and support if you want them.
I so understand. It manifests differently for me, but it’s there. I have an almost pathological need to be informed, but I can’t watch TV news or listen to it on the radio, it’s too overwhelming. I find text journalism easier, so I use Google News and Twitter. But there are certain people I avoid. Even when others are quoting them, or using clips in YouTube videos or podcasts, I have to mute it until the people are done speaking, then figure out what they said from context. Otherwise I’m overwhelmed by anxiety and anger.
I would say in this modern age we’re all going to have to develop our own filters that work for us, as I would be willing to bet it will be a generation or more before we figure out we need to dial back the onslaught.
Thank you for the post. I find myself turning more to reading and gardening these days as a retreat from all the screaming. Your perspective, coming from where you have, enriches the conversation. I think it’s also important to note that there are tremendous efforts being made to use social media to divide our country–by trolls and other actors who have only the worst intentions. As Americans, we need to reach for unity despite provocation by those with whom we differ. I appreciate being able to turn to Kate, Nevada and Dina when it all gets to be too much.
Big hugs!
I’ve recently joined a party to become more active in politics because I wanted to do something other than just being disgusted at the state of things. As such I think it is fabulous that you have been looking for things to do. I hope things will improve for you and that with taking a step back from it all you will gain a bit more quiet.
Thank you for sharing this. I’m an unpublished writer and I’ve been having a hard time concentrating on my work, for much the same reason. It is very helpful to know that a professional writer I really admire also struggles. I hope you find some peace in unplugging.
You have given me hours of escape and I hope you can find something to read to take you away. I don’t watch any news on tv and limit myself to AP,NYT and Washington Post news, not commentary. Things are too much for normal people to handle. I maintain hope based on my belief system and yet I can see that things are not moving in a positive direction under current leaders in many nations. Escape is good and I hope you can do what you can to help others and then disconnect for sometime each day. At least know that you have helped others to “get through “. I hesitate to mention the series because it is incredibly politically incorrect but the 70’s Flashman series by George MacDonald Fraser can get you into a different time and place.
I applaud your very wise choice. “News” makes its living by being sensational. Yes, emergencies and events do happen, but if you look out from where you stand, (and not into a TV or whatever) the view is almost always NOT an emergency. And when it is so, people handle it or endure it and go on. None of us need everybody else’s emergencies 24/7.
And I love your books, because reading about fictional emergencies is interesting, and not a cause for anxiety, because you know that, most of the time, the fictional characters win in the end and this is extremely satisfying. Plus reading HOW they win is fascinating. And you can put the book down if it’s too intense. It is all about taking charge of your “input.” So I’m all for you doing that.
I am a social historian, specializing in economics, by education, and a philosopher by avocation. Neither of which, I can afford to do for a living. But your concerns are real. We live in a time where in the past 30 years both our technology and economy have undergone unprecedented change. The interrelationships between Wall Street and Main Street has been broken. Into the early 1980s if Wall Street went up, the average person’s personal economy did too. Now, our personal economies are completely detached from big business and investment institutions. I won’t go into the reasons, there are two many. At the same time, technologies made old skills redundant and even news skills are often quickly obsolete. Historically, if your skills were obsolete you could always take them to the frontier, but there is no longer any frontier. The awful truth is that we are facing even further economic and social destabilization once AI and robotics intermingled. And what is most worrisome is how few people want to talk about these issue or about possible social solutions. I do not fear the future. I fear instead a lack of people thinking about the future. Doing nothing means people will suffer.
“Look for the helpers”. That motivates me. Balances me. For every trump there is a Jose Andreas.
Kudos to you for making choices to take care of yourselves.
You are no alone in how you feel. Some have told me I am burying my head in the sand and I don’t agree. At this point I don’t know who to believe, so I am just believing in me for a bit and unplugging from some things and focusing my energies elsewhere.
I don’t really do social media, but I do watch the news. I’m kinda like your dad, human beings have survived unsettled times before. You have to take care of yourself and your sanity. Sending good wishes and hugs!
Thank you for all you do, and for eloquently expressing your thoughts and frustrations. I truly believe they are shared by many! I stopped watching ‘news’ programs over a year ago as I could not find one that didn’t seem skewed in one direction or another. (Whatever happened to the news being neutral? I wish we had a Walter Cronkite clone or 12) Everything needs to be taken not with a ‘grain of salt’ but with a cup or a pound. Thank you also for providing a refuge in the storm. Blessings to you both.
I understand completely. I made similar decisions almost 10 years ago. I don’t watch the news. I don’t watch live television. I limit the time and content of my social media. When I need information, I seek it from a trusted source. I’m a much happier person for it. I hope you find similar peace.
*non-creepy hugs from stranger* Your mental health is always the most important thing. Because if you aren’t healthy in your head and heart, you don’t have anything left over to help anyone else. (Hopefully) these saturation points are always staggered so as one person takes a break, another warrior is reemerging to fight.
You are wright…it’s overwhelming what’s going on.
I really appreciate your novels, because they are my escape and I can load my batteries….thank you for that!
I have dearly beloved friends and family on all sides of the political spectrum. I have always tried to stay neutral and just love everyone. It is increasingly difficult in today’s world.
My latest response has been to focus on the good that it is doing. Our society bears a lot of similarities to ancient Empires right before their collapsing. It also has similarities to Germany before Hitler took power. But I think the one thing which will prevent a tyrant taking over is the vast amount of information being tossed out there. Some of it is wrong, but some of it is right. No one view is in charge of all the multi-layered media. That is a protection, as well as a frustration.
You are not alone in your thoughts and feelings. It’s suffocating..
I’m at the same place. I’ve told my friends and family that I don’t want to talk about current events in person. I do still share stuff on Facebook, but I’ve had to make sure my unplugging is truly unplugging. Otherwise, I come unglued. Things are pretty okay up here in the PNW now that the fires are mostly out; I am grateful that I can concentrate on bf and work and family without having to worry about the things so many others do.
I feel a little guilty sometimes, though.
I have actually had to do this myself. Years ago, when the banks needed to be bailed out. My husband had to ban me from the tv and news site. I became a food hoarder with cabinets stocked full of canned food and emergency items. I was so terrified we wouldn’t be able to feed our kids.
It is so true about books being an escape from reality. That’s why I love reading Urban or Paranormal Romance. It helps me escape from the cruel reality of our world.
Breathing exercises help me sometimes.
I hope this doesn’t come across as intrusive, but this post and others in the past makes me think you may have anxiety issues. I see this because I have them too. Perhaps counseling will help? I didn’t want to go and wasn’t sure it would help but I found that having a non-partial person listen as you talk can help you get perspective on what bothers you. It helped me to let go of what I cannot change and focus on what I have control over. Instead of worrying about the negative, look for a positive. The attitude we bring affects everything.
The good thing about American politics is that it is temporary. The next congressional session could see a change in view if we rally together for change. Ultimately if our congressmen want to be re-elected they can’t tick of their constituents too much so they can’t totally get rid of healthcare. Puerto Rico and all of the other islands is a chance for our people to show who we really are. If our government fails, there are enough good hearts in our country to pull together. We may not get the press the biggots and the angry people do but we exist and we can do a lot while the haters are out there distracted by trying to get headlines.
I’m sorry and I totally understand. I have radically restricted my social media feeds and pretty much quit reading the news except for following specific events. I have found that helplessness is the worst part. I’m not in a place where I can give much in monetary terms or even time. But I have found some things that I might be able to do. For PR there is http://www.crowdrescuehq.org/ and I am slowly making my way through the training. People scour the web for data on resource availability and infrastructure status and other people post it to a map. Its something I can do to make things better. And since my Spanish isn’t up to the data mining I’ll be doing the posting so I avoid the sensational and hopefully get to watch the rebuilding instead.
I am sorry you feel so overwhelmed Ilona, the world is a scary place at the moment and I fear for what it could be like for my grandchildren- all we can do is trudge on, we don’t have the means or power to change things ourselves but, as this old world has seen before, there have been terrible and terrifying times throughout its history and it’s us, the ‘normal’ small people, living our small lives in our millions who act as the rudder and keel to this planet and , by all pulling together in the right direction will get it back on track and into more gentle waters. This I do believe xx stay strong xxx
As you’ll see from all the previous comments, the majority of people are in agreement with your statement because we’ve been feeling/seeing/reading the same things too. We’ve all been reacting to what the media wants to push into our faces, whether it’s true or not, they don’t care. I love escaping into your books and other favorite authors. Facebook is my social media limit, I don’t deal with the others. And at times, FB can get carried away with too many people posting something explosive that gets you riled up. So I just click over to my cross-stitch app and start making pretty pictures! LOL You do what’s needed to get to your calm, happy place so we can have more Kate/Curran, Nevada/Connor and Dina/Sean. I need my fix!!! Love y’all! 🙂
You do what you have to do to protect yourself. Since I am rereading the Kate series. I entertain my self asking what Kate would do in our world.
I think at times like these you have to focus on the individuals you can help. I also read a lot of history and find this oddly comforting- all panics have been panicked before. I do recommend ‘The better angels of our nature’ by Steven pinker and ‘homo sapiens’ – both are broad historical views that are calm points of view in times of tumultuous change and I’ve found both helpful in different ways – and the very opposite of twitter!
Also this: http://rubyetc.tumblr.com/post/165929173197/for-your-sunday
Totally agree, and it’s distressing to find yourself in the place where you dare not care any more because you’ve become hyper sensitized, which can lead to becoming desensitized out of self-preservation.
May you have peace in the midst of the storm.
xoxo❤
I feel much the same. Only watch local weather on the TV & escapist shows. Hate the feeling of having crisis after crisis shoved down our throats.
LOVE your writing & applaud your decision to everything possible to continue to do so. 🙂
Here’s to a saner world!
I work in a global position, so I can’t help but be aware of much of what is going on in the world. Which is why I appreciate your books so very much. When I get the chance for a break, I want to immerse myself in another world. Your books are like therapy for my husband and I. You brighten our world, and I want you to know how much we appreciate it. <3
I totally understand what you’re going through. The constant barge of crises is exhausting. I think it’s very important to protect yourself and do what you need to do to keep living and writing. You cant help anyone else if you haven’t helped yourself first! Your books have provided that escape for me, and have helped improve my mental well being multiple times. The mental escape your provide is invaluable. I’m sure others feel that way too.
Your fans are 100% behind you! Do what you need to do, we’ll keep supporting you and your work. 🙂
Agreed.
Agreed!
I totally agree with you. There’s too much going on and it can make one feel hopeless. I am an avid reader and your books are my favorites to read over and over. A good escape from the world, and Kate makes the worst days better with her ass kicking and sarcasm. Looking forward to more of all your works.
This is scary, but, I can relate to your anxiety. I’m a news hound. I watch quite a bit every day. I’m trying to cut down, but it has become a habit. Still, I will keep trying. I can clearly feel a difference in my attitude toward life. Just daily life. I don’t like feeling depressed or tense. At the risk of putting more pressure on you, reading your books has provided a welcome and much needed escape. I read something every day. Many times that something is one of your books. I’ve even indulged in a reread with a friend living in another state. We begin the books together and email favorite quotes and story line points to each other. It is very enjoyable. If it matters, you have succeeded as an author beyond your initial intent. One more point, even in the midst of this misery, I do believe it will get better. Maybe not tomorrow, but it will.
Thank you for so perfectly expressing how overwhelming the current frustration and despair can be, and for sharing your father’s perspectives. Both of you offer good advice – I’ll try limiting exposure, too. And rereading Hidden Legacy for the umpteenth time is helping!!!
I totally agree. In 2001 I had to start really limiting my news intake. I empathized too strongly with the people and images I was being bombarded with on the news. It was actually contributing to my depression and at the time, my doctor recommended turning off the TV.
Now it is everywhere.
Since fall last year, I find I can’t watch or read anything news related. Politics, current events, opinion pages, entertainment, even some sports talk gets to be too much to handle emotionally. Too much negativity is sensationalized and too little positivity is out there to balance it.
If someone I love is talking about an issue, I will look up news on that specific topic. But only if it interests me. Otherwise, I block all news feeds and unfollow or block anyone (or any website) who sends news feeds to me regularly. My phone’s news updates are all disabled.
I am a much calmer and happier person because I am not carrying the emotional baggage of strangers who I am unable to help, however much I would like to. I do help out in my local community and that makes me feel good.
Perhaps it is the difference between feeling powerless versus feeling empowered.
Yup, I don’t own a TV, I don’t have news updates on my phone and I don’t do social media. I do a few blogs like this one that interest me and aren’t all doom and gloom. I also check the news headlines online daily and I click on any story that interests me.
There is way to much sensationalism out there these days and the bad news/disasters are never ending. Do what you need to do for your own peace of mind and quality of life. Being overwhelmed doesn’t help you or anyone else.
Big hug, here in my country it’s the never ending: “Tomorrow will be the biggest earthquake ever that will destroy us all” it’s been so hard to shelter my kids from the virality, I see therapy for us in the future. Big hug, reading about Curran being a dad and the hijinks that ensue give me solace
I hope you both can find a period of disengagement from the craziness by reading and listening to authors as wonderful as you both. I am beginning to do mindfulness meditation with a neuropsychologist. One suggestion is to develop a calm space, literally or mentally. Learn to switch to calm for a few seconds and slowly you can shut down the high stress responses. I was a news junkie, now trying to break away just as my husband decided to listen hours a night..I have asked him to wear headphones and not discuss in depth because there is no cure for this madness we can make happen. Peace and comfort to us all, and razzleberry dressing.
If you can, take heart that your talent makes our world a little bit happier and a heck a lot of fun.
Amen!!!!
It is a sad fact that humans are not basic ‘good’ at their cores. Societies form rules to be decent to each other, others allow violence to have prime place in their lives. Who hasn’t heard of The 2 Wolves story/theory? There is also the theorem (can’t recall the name of it) of taking care of each other or acting as allies instead of enemies, everyone wins, but the moment everyone turns against each other, everything falls apart, everyone loses. When people don’t try to work within the system/by the rules, which can take time, instead resort to violence to force ‘their’ way, expecting immediate results, conflict will occur, until one side overwhelms the other. Certainly there may be some giving in at the beginning, but push-back will happen when demands are perceived as exorbitant. Examples; the airplane hijackings, the earliest terrorists attacks, and hostage situations. The worst people consider that their are No Innocents, but ‘their’ own, so that even babies are exempt of being innocent.
If aliens were to see humans, they would just consider them to be just more fauna.
Excellent decision. I’m in the same place. I’ve decided to focus on improving my little corner of the world and caring for my family. Your books have been a refuge for me; I love your writing! Sending thoughts of peace and contentment your way.
I have found myself doing televisionless days in an effort to destress. No computer news sites, not even NPR on the radio. Then I realized that I haven’t logged in to my Facebook account in almost a year. I haven’t missed it, at all. Instead I make it a point to SPEAK to people about their day, the grandkids, work. I have found that I am a better friend, and a happier person.
This exactly… Speaking… interacting personally with others… is so much more rewarding emotionally. And so many would rather text comments to a person in the same house – comments that they wouldn’t normally Speak out loud… Why? It isolates them. Thinking they are speaking to several people but not really interacting…
I understand completely. There is nothing balanced going on in the news today. Watching BBC at least gives you some relief. How can you not be afraid? Hopefully, things will calm down and you can find some peace and get back to the important thing of distracting the rest of us. ? Distract yourself in the meantime with things that have meaning to you and most of all be kind to yourself.
Agreed. I stopped watching the new regularly a loving time ago, and it’s probably been over a year since I’done the facebook thing on a regular basis.
I miss some of the big important stories, but I couldn’t take the hate spewed out on facebook and “entertainment” TV, and especially the supposedly impartial news which should be reporting facts. It’s all opinion pieces now, even when they try to disguise it as straight reporting. Heck the last two hurricanes that had us battening the hatches I learned about when my supervisor at work said “are you ready for the storm?”. I answered “oh, we have a storm developing out in the Gulf?”.
I still only turn one the TV once every week or two.
Grrrr auto-correct strikes again
I haven’t been able to write in a while. I feel like everything that is going on is sucking the life from me. Seeing such horrible things happening hurts me, since I am just far too sensitive. I can’t cut it out. I’m not sleeping, or dreaming when I do. I need a secluded place to go with just my partner and my cats.
Firstly, I want to say thank you. Thank you for creating wonderful stories that capture the imagination and allow readers to fall into a world that is so far from our own. I am an avid reader and since I discovered your books, am a die-hard fan.
Secondly, what you’ve said is a sad but full-on reality check for the state of our society today. We live in a world where there is no way you can leave behind any issue, or hear about the “for” or “against” crowd and then feel the pressure of picking a side. It’s something that all of us should address and figure out how to navigate.
On that note, my dearest hope for you is that you find your center in this societal storm. We all deserve and need a safe haven, whether it’s a physical place or inside beautiful stories. Stay with it, you will find your peace <3
I understand completely. At some point during an outage from Irma, the receiver box for the dish stopped working. I hadn’t wanted to turn the TV on in so long that I didn’t even notice it til last weekend. I still haven’t called because I don’t want to get caught up in the news stuff. The only social media I use is Facebook and I blocked almost all political posts and just keep up with my family, a few authors and cat videos. I know things will get better but for now limiting my input helps keep the depression and anxiety in control
Thank you for your honesty, I entirely empathize with you on the bombardment of everything. I don’t/ can’t watch the news, the only feeds I have are on Facebook, and I bypass as many of those as I can. My job is such that I am out in nature quite often during the week, and that’s kept me sane.
I posted on my facebook page just last night wishing we could have a 24 hour day without trump. I couldn’t have stated my feelings anywhere near as well as you, Ilona and I’m 73 years old with a good memory. Thank you both for your success in creating worlds that give me respite from the insanity.
I have learned to skim headlines just to have an idea of what is going on. All news media is biased one way or the other so I try to look at more than one source from both sides of the political aisles. My church, like a lot of others, is working on Harvey recovery so it is a place to be with folks who are actively working for the greater good of humanity. You cannot give from an empty cup so that is where I go to be filled.
Thank you for stating exactly what I feel, in better words than I could string together. I highly appreciate you and your work, and hope you can take some time to take care of yourselves and destress. I feel you. I have been losing sleep and feeling terrified and depressed for about a year and a half, almost two years now. Pretty much ever since the race to win the presidency really blew up in the news.
I know exactly how you feel. I pretty much unplugged from Facebook over the summer. It was the trolls that got to me – nasty comments on innocent, non-political posts.
I have to be a fair minded and rational and objective person at work but five years ago I figured out that the reporter media barrage was affecting my mindset and outlook to such an extent that my pessimism was through the roof and my level of morbid sarcasm was over the top. I took action. I turned off my satellite TV service and stopped listening to the radio 18 hours of the day. I can and do occassionally listen to the radio, rarely. I can and do occassionally buy a newspaper but also rarely- and usually not simply for the news. I never watch news video clips! If something catches my eye I run a search for a newspaper article and read that instead- usually two if I can find them. So I am not uninformed about the world, but I am no longer bombarded with opinionated inflammatory sensationalized reports. I only use “social media” for my hobbies and enjoyment. I repair and am learning to use antique knitting machines- obscure topic extraordinaire. And am learning how to process fiber and spin it into exotic and beautiful yarns for those same machines. Considering that I am employed full time to supervise other workers, I think my downtime should not be fraught with panic inducing images that jangle my every autonomic nervous system neurons into flight or fight readiness thus desensitizing my empathy.
Does that mean I don’t feel anything? No! I give and volunteer and yell at my congressman (with the same visible results) too. But I don’t immerse myself in the overload constantly. I highly recommend this.
In point of fact, I tend to read or listen to books every day. I can listen while doing housework, driving, or well most anything outside of work. And the books don’t change my mood drastically like news reports and some music does. (I love music but respond to the mood of it very quickly, so I have learned what works on a Playlist if I’m going to shortly be around people.) So mist of the time I’m in an insulated bubble, but my bubble is clear and easy to exit. My mood is much better these days. (I’ll stick with “mood” because “anxiety, depression and fear/anger” only give a limited view into my mindset from that time.)
Thank you for doing your job so that I can enjoy my downtime at home and about. Finding a balance between staying informed while distancing yourself from the emotional wringer of modern 24hr news bombardment is not easy- I know- but it is good for mental health. Relax… knit and produce Alpha waves… let the flight or fight response subside…
I had to turn off the news months ago. It was constant bombardment, just as you say. As for the writing difficulties, I couldn’t agree with you more. Here’s hoping that better times will find all of us, and soon.
I completely understand, I find it hard to watch the news, twitter frustrates on a regular basis. It’s a overload of information and anger and frightful announcements on every front.
I find myself pulling out books that I’ve not delved into for quite some years, I suppose just trying to escape the frustrations that seem to be coming from every corner.
So disconnect where you can, give yourself some grace and know that we the fans will be here.
I think everyone I know can relate to what you’re saying, the bombardment with crises of every sort is a big part of our everyday lives these days. Though it definitely seems to have gotten a bit worse recently. The steps I have taken for myself is to get rid of regular television and stick with Netflix and Amazon. As far as Facebook, I’ve recently started unfriending those who post nonstop inflammatory political posts, regardless of what side of the issue they are on, and at the least, unfollowing those I can’t unfriend for whatever reason. I haven’t eliminated all of it, but it’s definitely helped a bit.
It’s so hard with all the 24/7 coverage and then people opining on FB. I almost never watch the news; I skip over pretty much all the political FB postings; and I read your books and other books of the same genre. Fortunately, I work full time and have PLENTY to do at home. And I exercise regularly — that really helps. You do what you need to to face down this nasty anxiety and, I’m sure I speak for most if not all of us, know that we are here to help/listen in any way we can.
I feel and think the exact same way you do, although I’m German and our media tends to restrain themselves a bit more than their American counterparts. And I’m glad that I was always too lazy to create myself an account on any social media platform. But still, it’s part of my job to know what’s going on and I can’t avoid the news. Other than you, I grew up in Germany in the 90s and me and my friends only ever feared AIDS, because that was the Nemesis of my youth. I saw the wall crumble down and I only ever thought that humankind would evolve in one direction: forward. More tolerance, more human rights, more female empowerment, you name it.
And now I’m 42 and although I am well in every way, I have to watch the world deteriorate in ways I never thought possible in my careless and easy youth. I can’t express, how hard it is for me, to hear about what happens in Spain, where I’ve been so many times, both the strong segregationist movement and government’s reaction. Or the fact that I’m a frequent London visitor and it has been three times this year that any kind of attack happened at places I’ve been to. Sometimes just days before. Or having to fear the nuclear escalation between the US and North Korea, something I never thought possible (I still can’t wrap my mind around what is going on there!)
Yet, I know that desperation can’t be my reaction. At least not forever. I’m still trying, saving energy, recycling, being a sponsor for a girl in Tansania with the Plan International program to help girls around the world, being happy that my nephew got accepted at university …
You know what they say: for evil to prevail, it only takes good people to do nothing. We can’t do that. We have to go on, we have to fight to keep our world a good place and make it better. And you, you are making my life better! By providing a great means of mind-escape. I love following Kate, Nevada, Dina and all the guys frome the Edge. Their adventures allow me to forget about news and havoc and crazy presidents and stuff. So thank you for doing what you do. You help making it all better.
I’ve found that I have had to unfollow and limit my exposure too. It’s not that I don’t care – I care too much, and all the stress and exposure to all the heightened emotions of every single post has made me unable to deal with it. I can’t even follow the comedians that used to make me laugh because it’s too much, the overload is real, and I have to escape it somehow.
So I totally understand what you’re saying. You need to take care of you. It’s imperative for each person’s health that they are able to, and do that.
I feel you. I’ve reached that place few years ago actually.
I’ve stopped watching and reading news about 4 years ago and I feel much better.
I don’t visit main stream website because od their aggresive news selling techniques. I only take a quick look at The tv screen while my hubby’s watching News. If there’s no red or yellow bottom lines I go on with my Day. If There are I stay to read The headlines only and then go on with my Day. ?
As you wrote, things have been happening all this time… and there’s not much we can do to change that but say a pryer.
I wish you guys a true peace of heart and mind!
✌
Thanks for sharing. I learned the same thing the hard way, after just about drowning in the bad energies. A person has to try to keep their head and heart in real space instead of cyberspace. Keep your own corner of the world as healthy as you can. Be a good mother, wife, daughter, friend. Take care of your animals and garden and the earth. Listen to music and read a good book.
Hang in there everyone.
I feel with you. My refuges are volunteering – I coach a university club sport and these young women are amazing and going to impact the world in a big way – and books. I read each of the Hidden Legacy books three times this summer. Thank you for writing them. Thank you for being one of the voices encouraging people to be kind to one another and accepting of diversity. Thank you for making my life better.
I totally get where you are coming from. Thankfully, our public radio has two streams, so when NPR gets too shouty, I switch to NPR2 which is almost 100% music.
I feel you 110%. The feeling I have most often is of helplessness. You do what you need to do to keep sane, and keep doing the job you enjoy!
That’s why I live (virtually) on The Yurt on Ravelry. They are lovely, supportive people who don’t suffer trolls. I also changed the mood of my FB feed by posting funny quotes and interesting facts. It didn’t end the political nonsense, but it did lighten it.
I’m not saying this is the solution for everyone, of course. Letting sensationalism well alone is a smart option. Not that any of you need my approval, obviously. 😀
I read somewhere that those who read on a regular basis have a higher sense of empathy for others. I’m not sure how true it is, but it makes sense in a way. You read things from multiple perspectives and maybe learn a little empathy for a character you normally wouldn’t like when you can look deeper into their character and understand their motivations and experiences.
It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even like to read books or watch shows that bring up politics even if it’s something I’d normally agree with. I just get stressed out over something I individually have very little control over. Not to say we should give up, but just focus on what we can do to make our immediate community a better place just doing the little things every day. Books have always been my escape and I’m thankful for writers, such as yourselves, that provide those worlds and characters that allow us to temporarily forget about the stress and drama that has become the everyday norm.
Absolutely understandable. Can I just mention I was, quite recently, one of those people with a loved one in the icu & your books were a much needed escape for me, so thank you so very much for your stories. You have no idea how much I have needed them over the past couple of months.
I hope all of us can find some respite from the barrage sometime soon.
Twice in my life I was close to a nervous breakdown due to world events affecting me. At this point, I I turn 66 in early January, I have decided that I can’t make my life miserable because of what might happen. It is all I can do to get through each day. Two weeks ago, we found out my best friend’s cancer has returned. Her sons are the light in my life. I have introduced her and her sons to your worlds.
I have spent two weeks in hospitals and doctor offices. My Kindle is my comfort and hers. She is listening to Wildfire from my Audible account on my extra Echo Dot. We need your words. We need the words and worlds of people like you. Thank you for being there via your words for these weeks. Thank you for when you and others will be there in the future. We love each day as it comes. We are thankful for small pleasures and successes.
Good luck, Ilona. Staying away from the news and from social media can save your sanity. Also, you will discover that just breathing is all you need to do some days.
I needed to read this! I’ve felt like I have to do something anything and like you I go to BBC news and then you see the troubles in other countries I have felt overwhelmed
Thanks for the blog
Thank you for your post .
I appreciate you and your husband writing entertaining fiction that I can read to escape my daily grind .
I don’t watch the news on any media, anymore. I focus on other things like my dogs, family, and the house. I peruse newspapers at the library. I disconnected and it feels wonderful. If I hear or see something then I converse with family about it but I agree with your father. I will be voting Democrat every single time because this crap has got to stop. I can stop watching tv because if they lose enough viewers then hopefully, they will change their format from fear mongering to actually something the people can be involved in and be apart of.
I get it. I’m 53 years old, and for the first time in my life I feel real fear about our country and our Earth. A couple of weeks ago, when anxiety was getting the better of me, I systemically blocked certain posts on social media and totally dropped a few others. We are going on a long needed vacation on Wednesday and I’m purposely leaving my computer behind, taking only my phone and my Kindle for reading and games. We are going to take a break from the craziness for eleven days, and go as electronic-free as we can. The overload, for all of us, is becoming more than we can take.
I totally agree, and for that reason, I avoid news at all cost. It’s too much, and it has become obvious that the media is controlling our fear level. I want you to know that you and Gordon absolutely provide a wonderful distraction….along with several other authors. I read. A LOT! My life has enough drama and challenges…. I can’t continue to worry about things I can’t change. So I lose myself in alternative universes, because as real as your writing makes them, I know I don’t have to worry about Roland taking over the world, or Mad Rogan leveling Houston! Thank you for what you do…it is my Valium ?.
All I can say is, yes. Absolutely, so many of us feel the same way. Don’t feel bad about any steps you need to take to make life a little less overwhelming. XOXOXO
I’m 36 weeks pregnant and been trying to cut down on news because I don’t know what all those anger hormones are doing to my little dragon. I haven’t been very good at it though. One thing I’ve been trying is to read good books about history, politics and economics instead of my news sites. It stops me worrying about being disengaged with the world, but the long format and distance from the subject means more analysis and less emotion. People email and text me really interesting stuff all the time though, and it’s hard not to get sucked back in – sidebars on articles are the worst clickhole.
My parents lived thru the Great Depression, WWII, Dad was drafted for the start of the Korean debacle. Along with other asst world ? is crazy things. He used to tell me not to focus on the temporary worldly things but this instead. (Phil. 4:18 I think)
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
You help me to do so some days, so I hope that you are able to find peace in your heart and with your family!
I understand how you feel. It’s ovewhelming. I don’t warch the evening news anymore, but I feel I need to keep up with somethings, just so I have some idea what’s going on. Your books help me break from the bombardment of bad news. I can’t help but wish for an innkeeper or Lennart to come along and solve some of these problems.
Keep looking for good news and you will find them as well. It’s necessary to balance yourself. It works. There are nice people doing good things everywhere around you. Just look.
BBC is my national news broadcaster. It’s not as restrained as it used to be (ratings pressure, I guess), but it still tells the stories that need telling.
I sympathise with your feeling of emotive news overload. Letters used to take weeks/ months, and telephone bills limited the number of calls – an experience I currently only have when communicating with my daughter, who works away! Now the world knows about situations while they are still ongoing, and everyone gets adrenaline poisoning from it.
Your books are a wonderful antidote 🙂 I’ve been re-reading the Edge series, and the characters’ problems have really helped to put mine in perspective. The Innkeeper Chronicles are pure escapism, especially as a weekly serial, and I love Kate and Curran 🙂
Hope you manage to find a balance that is comfortable for you.
I am so with you on this. I just don’t want to hear it anymore. Cute cat videos are about my speed these days. So here’s a link to an article I enjoyed (food, a distant and beautiful place, learning new things):
https://www.cntraveler.com/story/what-to-eat-and-drink-in-georgia
perhaps you will enjoy it too…
I understand. Speaking as a Foreign Service Officer abroad in a country regularly in the news, it can be extremely trying to absorb all the negative news, process, and explain it. There are times where I come home, turn off all of my news feeds, and read a great book for a few hours to decompress. For me, its the only guaranteed way to decompress before I go back and try to make sense of it all to myself and to my counterparts.
Your books have always been one of the go-to novels I pick up when I need a respite. Thank you for creating such vivid world’s for us to find some solace, just for a while.
I’m there with you, and so many people replying in this blog. The fear mongering even leaks into my previously enjoyed TV shows. I’m hoping the hyper news cycle will settle down some time…
It’s scary. Nothing can change that. Hiding does not work. But neither does seeking it out. I really think you need to focus on what effects you. Or what things you can effect. We can’t change the wold with one big move. We can’t wave the magical wand. But we can start the landslide. Add out pebble of good will to the growing mass and maybe one day watch the landslide of faith and good will gain momentum and help change the world.
Victoria
It ate my post.
I had to change my homepage to the BBC a while back. I couldn’t stand the constant barrage of negativity on the US news pages. Not only political, but the headlines that screamed about murder and rape and other horrible acts humanity inflicts upon each other. I’ve always tried to be a well-read and well-informed person, but now I often just want to look at scenic photographs and watch sweet animal videos.
The worlds you’ve created make more sense to me than the world I am living in right now. Books are a refuge. They don’t magically make the real world all better, but as the characters fight through seemingly insurmountable fictional obstacles to survive victorious, they give hope that we can fight through our real-life obstacles to survive victorious as well.
Thanks for that.
Hang in there, you’re not alone! Many fab suggestions/responses here already – unplugging (at least partly), books books books, looking for the good and the laugh. Me, in the beginning of 2017, I started volunteering with our kids’ school, and I’m just loving it: I can’t save the world, but boy do I feel better for the chance to do something positive, local, and concrete with a nice group of well-intentioned people who just need a few sets of extra hands.
Hoping you find your peace, and thanks again for all you do (books and blog – great blog) to make my/our life more fun…
I had my kids check and repack their evac backpacks last week. We have always had one ready but my daughter just turned 11 and I think she finally realised why we have them. Now whenever she is near we turn off the news and try not to talk about world issues around her.
Its interesting that for me it isn’t the news stories i find the most stressful but the comment sections. I have always loved to read reviews and comments -feeling a connection to others and seeing new views on a subject. But lately, no matter how benign the original subject was the comment section will fill with haters. And it is not just that they have a different view, it is that they feel righteous in their belief being the only true belief. And the call fo punishments for those who do not share it is scarey. Posts from a middle aged woman who describes her self as deeply religious feeling justified in the belief she should have the right to shoot someone in the head.. Were did this come from? Open a post about someone saving a drowning cat and find vitrolic responces about how they should be saving trapped elderly people instead.
I will find myself starting to respond and have to stop midway through and ask… Will it just encourage them? Is my responce just more negativity going out into the world?
It is a much different environment. I appreciate the civility of your blogs as much as i love your work.
I agree,,, but you said it much more concisely than I would have. Thank you.
Yes, the comment sections are scary.
I’m about to dive into nerddom – you have been warned.
Yes, the comments section is often terrifying. This phenomenon has long been linked to the fact that the commentor feels anonymous, and therefore feels able to express views that they would never speak aloud.
I would love to see a movement towards reducing the anonymity of comments (though that comes with its own set of problems too, particularly for citizens of strife-ridden countries) so that commentors would actually have to feel their identity is attached to the comment – and that their immediate community would have the opportunity to know their views. Something like geo-tagging and using algorithms to track online connections, then having occasional comments pop up in others’ feeds – that sounds about perfect.
In a related point, I recently watched a TED talk about the increasing polarisation of opinions, and the inability to have a discussion about opposing viewpoints. I.e. We’ve stopped saying, “Really? Why do you think that?” and started leaping straight to “RAWWWRRRR YOU’RE WRONG, YOU’RE SO WRONG AND I’M RIGHT.”
Ew.
So some good-old training around how to hold a discussion instead of a yelling match would be great too, methinks. Incidentally, TED talks have become my go-to when the news fear becomes overwhelming. It’s written into the Talk formula that the talks must have an empowering and actionable conclusion, so I get an informed view on current issues and don’t have to feel powerless and afraid.
Finally, I’ll wrap up this little novella (I did warn you) by saying all is not lost. My local indie bookstore, Avid Reader, recently suffered a Twitter troll attack after it supported a feminist author, Clementine Ford, who was coming under fire. The trolls expanded their campaign to try to take on Avid Reader. They lost, gloriously, as Australia’s literary community and Ford’s fans hit back.
If you’d like to see the story and inject a bit of cheer and victory into your day, just Google “Avid Reader Twitter Clementine Ford”. So ends the novella, and thank you for raising this topic for discussion. ☺
” Our work is that refuge in a storm, a place where a reader can go when their loved one is in ICU, when they had an awful day at work, or when life just needs an off switch. ” And you provide that SO well for me, and others. I wish there were something we could do for you in return. My shrink told me years ago to quite reading/watching the news as it was seriously f*%@#&+ me up. I followed his advice, but still… The new media thing that used to be news is horrendous in its attempts to grab your time. And, it is everywhere. Even the news has news butting in. The first time I saw a crawl (or whatever that line of news at the bottom of the screen is called) I fell off a treadmill laughing. I thought it was a joke. I, too, tried BBC, and even the Guardian for a more measured feed. Still… The current media is constantly screaming the sky is falling. And the things people say to each other on line. Really? Would you say that to someones face? You kiss your mother with that mouth? At the same time I try to remember that bad press speaks louder than good, so a lot of the good things things in this world go overlooked.
I am sure if someone checked, we could hear Walter Cronkite spinning in his grave.
Meditation, or just doing something personal with maybe just music helps me. I sharpen knives, or just breathe. Or I reread something you guys wrote. I wish you peace and serenity, and whatever it takes to get there.
“The current media is constantly screaming the sky is falling” and they have to scream louder and louder to competing with each other to grab your attention. Negativity grabs attention, attention means ratings. They scramble to be the 1st one to report that the sky is falling. Then scream over each other to be heard so they can claim ratings. The last number of years, I keep reminding myself that the vast majority of mainline news media are owned by entertainment conglomerates. It makes it easier to change the channel to turn to cable cooking shows, home improvement shows, and re-runs.
Well done. I hope you can create the distance you need (that anyone needs, really) to be able to concentrate on the day-to-day details.
I hope both of you can find joy in the little things again.
The world will still be there tomorrow.
Absolutely! I’m only the other side of the globe and it’s exactly the same. We no longer watch the news or read the papers if we can avoid them. The news is so, so negative – soul destroying.
Apparently stories about people doing good stuff and trying to make a positive difference aren’t newsworthy.
Its so overwhelming and yet it simultaneously feels important to stay engaged. I do have to say, thank you for being a refuge and thank you for being authors who stand against hate. It makes a huge impact, even if it doesn’t seem like it.
And here, maybe this will bring a little respite
Its Deadpool performing his own version of Gaston
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptKgRecPi1I
Bwahahahahah . . . This is awesome – how have I not seen this before?????
I love Deadpool. Took me awhile to figure out who the women were supposed to be. Got Black Widow and Rogue, but who was the third one?
Very nice!!!
Thank you.
A long time ago when my parents were alive there was a study that looked into attitudes of older folks. It said that those who watched news and read the newspapers were more afraid of all kinds of violence and tended to lock themselves in their homes. This was over 30 years ago and it has not improved. I too watch little or no news. I read headlines on the net. I try to live in my family and community. It is so depressing to hear everything in capital letters. Take care of yourselves.
It is easy to become overwhelmed by everything bad that is happening. I am currently on Guam, needless to say, we watch the news pretty carefully. It is easy to get very scared. BUT we don’t let it stop us from moving forward. I try to focus on the smaller victories that add up to real change. I focus on that a child in my class finally sat for carpet time. Or that one of the girls won the school elections. I tutor. I teach. I can’t change a war or stop typhoons, but i can teach how to survive it. I can teach skills that can not be taken away because knowledge can not be looted from a person’s brain. I try to help each child to create a better future than what they have now.
I still get worried and scared and sometimes I have to retreat. I love your books because they are exciting and fun and the perfect retreat from the world. Thank you for writing and sharing them with us. And don’t worry, while the news stands don’t mention it, there are many good things going on in the world too. They just don’t sell as well. 🙂
<3
Hugs. I too feel torn. For my mental health I want to unplug, but then I feel guilty.
So many of our friends have been personally affected by recent natural disasters. Our neighbors just got married and were moved to tears by our pride flagged street. And I have a 3yo I want to have a good future. Thank you for your writing. It truly does help me escape.
L
My adult twins tweet each other kitten videos, I focus on my home, family , animals and try to mak e a difference with my friends or at church. I have a friend who likes to sit out in nature to c alm her spirit. I do appreciate your writing it is a lovely escape.
I understand. Our TV is broken and we’ve made no effort to fix it. I feel like I am living in an episode of Anne Bishop’s The Others series. Waiting for doom. And, sadly, I am a school librarian and should be keeping up with current events. But I just can’t anymore.
So, like many of us, I have been finding the world increasingly scary and distressing for a while. This is neither the political nor the economic environment in which to have a catastrophic accident, dramatic medical complications and become permanently disabled.
In order to not complicate my precarious balancing act of life by becoming profoundly miserable, I have started doing a couple of things: I read the news once/day for no more than 30 minutes (I set a timer); I do not read Facebook, Twitter or comment sections; and every single day I write at least one thank you letter and put it in the mail. It is the thank you letters that are making the difference for me. I cannot change the political environment and I cannot control the world. What I can do is behave decently and kindly to other people, and acknowledge their decent and kind behavior, whether it is directed towards me or anyone else. I know that this resolves none of the underlying problems, stresses and/or cruelties of modern life, either for me or for the recipients, but people choosing to behave well in this climate deserve to be acknowledged and I can fulfill that piece of the (seemingly shattered) social contract.
Best wishes.
You do what you need to do for you and yours. I thank you for your words because (1) I need your books to be written, (2) I need a safe place to visit that doesn’t include people hating themselves and each other, and (3) they reflect a need I have for myself.
BTW, I watched your interview podcast and I really appreciated both of your perspectives and thoughtful responses (plus the additions of skulking children checking to see if you were still on the podcast and doggies getting cuddles).
Be well.
This, all of this. Trying to keep putting one foot in front of the other and going on. Books are definitely my haven. We get US news on pay tv and just wow! It’s really just screaming and hate. I try and limit the news I see now and just keep going. I’ve added soap making to my crochet and knitting too. More hobbies mean less time watching news or seeing too many hateful words being used on Facebook.
I can totally relate to negativity overload. What I do is turn on some music shut everything else off, for like and hour or to a day it seems to help. You can’t always escape it but for your own sanity some times you just have to take the break. I’m a mom so sometimes I feel guilty. It’s worse if I don’t take the the time to decompress from it. Good luck I hope your way works for you.
The good will eventually overcome. I still believe that. Sometimes it’s little things, like someone holding a door for you, but every little thing helps.
Keep the faith and take care of you and yours.
Your blog really hit home for me. The fear and anger out in the world is at a crazy level. It seems like people are so angry about everything- which is probably a rational response to all the fear.
Its making me actually depressed.
I don’t know any magic solutions but someone I know recently turned off everything – everything for 5 days. A retreat from all electronic media- phones the works. When he came back, the news and the inundation of angst was easier to bear. I think I might have to try it.
I just read the news. I can pick and choose to read from news organizations I feel are the least biast one way or the other. If the title of the article seems to much or the first sentence is extreme I press the exit button on my phone. I don’t watch videos embedded within the articles and my Facebook is limited to only close family. I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed otherwise. I hate that people suck, I would like nothing better than to hide my head in the sand but I feel a responsibility to be aware of what’s going on around me. It’s an everyday battle.
I also eat chocolate and watch lots of puppy videos.
i totally agree with the news overload. The media is so obnoxiously biased either way you can’t trust any of it and between the rants and violence groups and total lack of common sense everywhere it’s scary as hell. I cancelled my cable. Between the continual rising cost and only watching two channels it simply wasn’t worth it. I subscribed to Acorn and Netflix. Thank God for the library. Right now I’m renewing my friendship with Philip R. Craig’s J.W. Jackson series. I had every single one of those books. They are a clean easy read and the stories move right along.
I hope the unplugging helps you de-stress and you get your mojo back.
Thank you Ilona for expressing what many people feel. The BBC is our national news and we watch but not constantly as it’s also our home page on our devices so we can read those items we wish to. We don’t do social media. 24 hour news has a lot to answer for in terms of sensationalism and also focusing on events then ignoring what’s happening once another event is deemed more newsworthy. We prefer to listen to music, do puzzles and read. We are both in despair about the decisions our country has taken, and the whole world picture. We are in our 70’s and have lived though past upheavals but our greatest worry is for the world the little ones in our family are growing up in and what the future holds for them. I have reread all your books over the last month as they bring me joy.
I give you lots of hugs. I never wanted to do social media. I’ve had people ask me “aren’t you worried about what’s going on?!” I look at the person straight in the eye and say “no”. I get the “you must be crazy” look. I learned a long time ago to think that I have Teflon (or you can think non-stick coating) armor. Everything that I have no control over slides off. It saves my sanity. If I let all the crap in the world inside me I get the most horrible anxiety attacks.
When I feel the stress coming all over me I make homemade rolls by hand. I don’t use my stand mixer. It helps to get rid of the crap. When I go out, I try to be nice to people. I hold doors open for people. When I do that I get a lot of thank you. My philosophy is that just because I’m having a really bad day doesn’t give me the right to take it out on someone else.
I also knit, crochet, read, and enjoy being alive. The rest of the world can go to hell in a handbasket (this is not aimed at anyone on this post) but I know I will be just fine.
Chicken farmer laughs like a chicken… an a chicken even answers back! This gave me a moment of peace today: https://streamable.com/p1glg
I’m with you. I think news burnout has been getting worse. Not just politically either. I find myself watching the news maybe once a month because even on my local level I feel so much worse after watching it. And not because I want to bury my head in the sand and ignore it, but just because every single story is dark. Every story produces this sad, hopeless feeling. It feels like everything is, as my parents used to say, going to hell in a hand basket.
I’ve been trying to find ways to reduce that dark feeling lately. Getting lost in a good book (thank you!), jamming out to music, and watching comedies from the 90’s help. You want to be connected and be informed, but I don’t see the positive side to that as of this moment. My facebook feed is crammed with stories that really bum me out, and that no matter how I try, I cannot improve. I donate, I volunteer, I inform.
I attend college and my classmates are feeling the burnout too. The hopeful feeling that the future is an empty page has been replaced with a desire to try and stay afloat. Everyone is just treading water and just trying to survive.
I, like many of the responders, cut the cords. I have only local channels on my TV. My family is spread throughout the political and social environment. I do not care for most of the things they post on Facebook. Therefore, I have curtailed my time on that medium. I feel as Mina, one of the BDH, who wrote, “… for evil to prevail, it only takes good people to do nothing.” We have to remain aware. Individually we can do nothing. I keep up with what’s going on, because if it is necessary, I will join with those who feel as I feel. I just have to figure out, where does good end and evil begin, and how big is the grey area in which I can live.
You are right, reading is a means to escape, to find a moment to be elsewhere, to be someone else, to reset your equilibrium by living another life. So please find a means to step back and escape because your books are what help other people find their peace
I simply roll my eyes at it and no longer care. The world seems to be an all about woe is me and learned helplessness .
I am a news junkie but one who has no tolerance for either side of the fence I happily sit on. I also do not suffer fools or whiners gladly and that includes teenage boys.
We don’t do Facebook or Twitter in our house and my 18 yr old finally gets why. So authors and RL people annoy me with their “I only do Facebook “.
My favorite authors don’t publish enough…. nudge… 🙂 The quality of books has dropped considerably since 2000. So, filling in that book habit is news… and why I started relearning how to get out… for me only… and we did the campfire all afternoon and cooked on it tonight .
I totally get the need to disconnect and find a new rut in the real world . If you figure it out tell me.
3 or 4 decades ago, I decided the news media was a sensationalist seeking ratings based idol with clay feet.
I no longer own a television set, and have not had one for more than 20 years.
I stopped getting the newspaper delivered about 5 years ago. I do watch Philip de Franco once in a while, and I probably have the longest blocked list on Facebook.
Life is much calmer now.
You have so eloquently expressed what I hv felt for the past 3 years. I feel like all I can do is vote my conscience and the rest is over my pay grade. I would like to unplug though. I’ve done a lot of self-talk about cutting the cord to the tv and the WiFi to help me focus on that which I need to do to take care of/be responsible to myself instead of using tv/wifi to defocus. Not yet courageous enough to carry out my self-threats.
Sometimes I feel like we’re in the 1830s-1840s, right before the Civil War. I see so many parallels to today. Makes me nervous.
Remember: Stay Calm and Keep Knitting.
I turned off TV ages ago entirely. Before that I refused to watch news, it is not about news any longer but agitation one way or another. I do listen to radio but I found a mostly even reporting station. I will read Internet pages but have blocked many irrational and crazy ones. I find it much more peaceful though while I am also aware of what is going on, it is on my terms.
I agree. It’s a lot right now. Thank you for your work. You and Gordon do a great job, I read your books over and over. I am tied down at home, too. Do you have a good massage therapist? Also, I saw Atomic Blonde (twice) and it was a great escape. The bath I took last week really turned my day around. Good luck!
If you haven’t already done so (or heard about it), you can clear up your Facebook feed by teaching FB what you don’t want to see anymore. On any story you find disturbing/offensive/partisan/clickbait, just click on the little carat on the upper right hand corner and say “Hide Post” or something similar. Doing this 4 times cleaned my feed significantly after the elections. I don’t get a lot of the auto-share political junk, now, which has made my feed a LOT calmer.
Do what you need to do. Lean on your loved ones for support. Play with your pets and take pleasure in the little things, like the weather finally getting less gross (sorry, I’m a northeastern expat in Houston) and the availability of apple cider at the grocery store and that gorgeous yarn you posted about. I planted some basil seeds in a pot on my window sill. Watching their progress feels like something, even if I know it’s not important in the grand scheme of things.
I am so sorry for your pain. The world does seem as if it is going crazy especially after reading MSM/FB/TW, but that isn’t ‘true’ – really.
We are going through a huge cultural/societal power shift, old monolithic companies are losing power = becoming more and more shrill/extreme in their rhetoric.
Please check out Gab.ai, they have a link on TW:
https://twitter.com/getongab
People’s posts on Gab, are about every subject you can think of, some good, some not so good – the mute feature really works for the wingnut brigade, as does the hashtag filter.
Underneath all the ‘noise’, there are many, many people posting, just ordinary people commenting, making connections, helping each other, being supportive. Especially in times of crisis, that last Hurricane people were working really hard to help those in distress to get the help they needed.
For what it’s worth, I think you would find a place there that would be relaxing, and definitely less stressful.
If you do get an account, my username is Wren.
I hope you feel better soon.
I agree it just seems that the only thing the media wants to talk about is things that are going bad, nothing positive. They also have the same story over and over again, with no new information.
I also have stoped looking at the news it just is to depressing. I also gave up Facebook for a while, just because of all of negativity after the election, from both sides.
I’m back on Facebook a little now but I made the realization that a lot of the things on there just don’t interest me or is not something that I want in my life. So now I focus more on things that I enjoy and make me happy.
I only read news stories on news websites and do not watch any news videos or tv news. I avoid analysts who want to prognosticate what will come or the underlying “truth” of what people do. I am not on Facebook, which is a bummer sometimes when I can’t see cool sites like yours probably is, but makes me actually call and talk to friends and family if I want to know how they are doing and not get sucked into political fights. I still feel some fear but I try to ruthlessly kick it to the curb and purposefully enjoy friends and family, including fur family members, because why not focus on the life I am living now? I must agree that it can be a struggle. Fight the good fight!!
I know exactly how you feel, I can’t remember the last time I didn’t have a constant sense of foreboding, I keep waiting for terrible things to happen. The problem isn’t just because of social media though because I have never had a twitter or FB or snapchat or whatever account, so I don’t see the tweets or stuff on a feed, it’s just out there everywhere you look.
And today I look at the news & another terrible thing has happened, 58 dead & 500 injured in Las Vegas. There’s no stopping it.
Oh, Sweetie, you need hugs, many hugs. I’ll bet Gordon and the kids can use some, too, thus being good for both the hugger and the huggee at the same time. Kitty and doggy love will help, too.
I can’t tell you how to cope. Our situations are too different.
I am basically by myself and have only myself to please. I can afford to never turn on the television and read my news online. I don’t tweet. I never bothered to start on FaceBook and after watching my late husband waste hours a night on the site, I doubt I ever will. My children eventually remember Mama doesn’t know what they posted and let me know if it’s important.
I admit, I could use more hugs, too, but I cannot worry about politics and urban unrest will happen no matter what I do. Obviously, weather is beyond anyone’s control.
There will always be a crisis somewhere. The news media screaming about it doesn’t help. Ignoring the worst of it is just self-defence.
I send you lots of hugs too. 🙂
*HUG*
That’s all I have. I don’t have anything helpful or useful to say. I hope you have your own form of Kate Daniels to use to escape the crazy sometimes. <3
I have in followed some over the storm of political outrage on both sides. The media mostly only seems to show the bad and the sensational. Yet the statistics show that there are actually less violent crimes in most cities. There are many good things happening that we never here about. I am tired of stuff without solutions
I have cut back as well on news. We have supplies and currernt lists of what to take. They are out of sight. I have found that having faith in a Power helps or even a belief in Good over Evil. I knit or crochet blankets or afghans to give away. I think we all must do what we need to do to keep positive thoughts first. I am 65 and remember drills to hide under our desks in kindergarten. I remember body counts at the end of every news cast in the viet nam war. A lot of us do. Those. who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it. Your books are my escape. Thank you
LOVE your work! Hope you two have a “Princess Bride” popcorn night planned soon.
That is pretty much what I did. I am tired of being told. Where what and when is enough. I don’t want a “news person” to tell me what it means. I can figure it out for myself. Trent Shelton just wrote a nice little bit to help explain why these things are out there. I know, that it will be O.K. I know that things are the way they are supposed to be for a reason. I no longer pass the outrage down the line. If I think it’s something my friends need to be aware of then yes, I will forward. It got to the point where I had to check every single thing, and so much was lies that I don’t even care anymore. So, this is where we all are. As to the political aspects, I have learned to keep my mouth shut mostly, some others are just a little slower to catch the drift.
I don’t have Facebook, I don’t use Twitter, Instagram, blah, blah…I do read my emails and my texts are from people I want to hear from. I feel that every time I turn the TV on it’s a “reality” show (please, that’s not reality!) or fear news. I love books, yoga and conversations with my children. Walking my neighborhood keeps me current with the town news. I am right with you when you say you fear for the future, but like your Dad says; “let it go”. The future is going to happen no matter what.
Picking up a book is my turning on the TV, so thank you.
I am sitting here reading everyone’s comments and it struck me that this all sounds like a natural grassroots movement. Turning off the televisions, quitting twitter/facebook, getting connected with your local community and reconnecting with nature and family. It’s almost sounding like everyone is trying to live their lives post WW2 of the late 1940’s and early 1950’s.
But I am also hearing people say that they can’t do anything to change the world. That’s what I am hearing. But when I “listen” to all of you, that is not what I hear at all. It all starts at home. Those core values, personal and familial priorities, civics and a sense of belonging. If you know where you come from and you have an idea of where you are at, well…. It’s not hard to see where you are going.
Well said.
At least I am not the only one who sick of politics/most news. I sure can’t do anything but turn off the TV and pick up a good book – hint, hint – please write more/faster! Whatever happens will happen and we will deal with it.
You are not alone in this feeling.
I wish we could all sit together at a quiet table with our tea, coffee or drinking chocolates and just be.
I think it all comes down to where our hope is found. ❤❤❤
I saw a news cast about a town flooding. The reporter interviewed people in the street, and then one young man said “Oh yea, this street floods all the time. I parked my truck the next street over and came to see all the TV cameras.” Needless to say they quickly went to commercial and then didn’t do anymore man in the street interviews. This reminded me of cities I’ve lived in (overseas and US) where they’d tell you don’t go to these 2 blocks, and then there would be all these reports of the city in chaos. Nothing new, check out the Hearst days of “Yellow Journalism.” And the newspapers ginning up the war in Cuba and Teddy’s Rough Riders. It sells newspapers, and now it sells advertising revenue for the news channels.
I understand and commiserate. My objection to Network news is that so little of it is news – so much of it is someone’s attempt to manipulate my attitude and perception. So I avoid it – the news, I mean. And I go on Facebook less and less, too. It helps.
I understand and agree. I’ve been having episodes of extreme anxiety, feelings of overwhelming dread, and just overwhelmed. I don’t know where to pay attention. The news is everywhere. It can’t be avoided.
I just wish we could all get along, respect and love and politeness.
Understood a reason why I don’t watch National News. Sad but so true.
(((Hugs)))
Yes to all of it. So tired of feeling angry or scared or both. I went to Gertrude Hunt–yup, reread all three books one after another. There’s one bit that always makes me smile: Helen, the feline and the canine being slipped some pie by Dina after Helen had grabbed the last piece of bacon. Thank you and a hug for a lovely place to hang out.
Whenever this topic comes up, I always recommend podcasts. You can listen while you do other things, like knitting or tidying the house, and they don’t have the horrid visuals that go with most other forms of media.
My go to for compassionate and intelligent discussion that resonates is Krista Tippet’s https://onbeing.org/. Given the topic of this post, you might find their Civil Conversations Project http://www.civilconversationsproject.org/ particularly interesting.
Other types of podcasts that I like are storytelling podcasts where people share personal stores (“The Moth”, “StoryCorps”, “This American Life”) or stories about history and culture (“The Land of Desire”, “the memory palace”, “The History of England” — It helps, I find, to be reminded about how far humanity has come in the past 200, 500, 1000 years.) I also podcasts like “Invisibilia” and “The Ted Radio Hour” where I learn stuff.
FYI – I, too, no longer stay in touch with what’s going on in the world or national stage, at least not on a daily or weekly basis. Several years back when I was fighting my way back from depression, I realized that I just had to stop for my own wellbeing. I’d never really been a TV news watcher or newspaper reader, but even listening to radio news like NPR and the BBC got to be too much. I dip back in to listening now and then, but mostly I just stay away and focus on the hyperlocal: what can I do to help my students and the people around me each day.
If it is any solace, your books do provide the kind of escape for your readers that you hope for. I am a voracious and broad ranging reader, but I have just read the entire Kate Daniels series for third time in as many months. Thank you for the distraction and a glimpse into at least one universe where the good prevail against unimaginable odds. It makes it just that little bit easier to strive for optimism and see the beauty in my life, difficulties notwithstanding.
I fear we are becoming desensitized to ALL of it. In the mornings, I’m afraid yet curious to see what our highest elected official has “TWEETED” while most of the citizens sleep. I’ve lived through the Cold War,Bay of Pigs, bomb shelters, President John F. Kennedy’s assassination on my 10th birthday, Robt. Kennedy’s too, the racial discrimination of the 60s, and Martin Luther King’s assassination, the Vietnam War era, and deployment of my husband (now ex-) to Afghanistan. NEVER have I had so much fear that the USA would be so full of hatred, anger, injustice, and other negative influences. Yet our leader with his limited vocabulary ignorance, and lack of diplomacy continues to tweet and talk in such ways that Americans are becoming more divided every day.
For the first time in all my years as a voting citizen, I am losing hope. I had believed throughout those years I described, that we the people would be heard, be a part of the process of governing ourselves and electing like individuals who would continue on for the best of their constituents.
I believed that our country was always headed in a right and positive direction… forward. That despite Republican or Democrat, we had a safe place or a safety net because for the most part, our hearts & values were in similar places. I no longer believe this. I am losing hope and I am fearful; extremely afraid of what could happen at any moment.
Sister ??
I stay off twitter for the most part. And I try to keep my Facebook posts set to humorous and/or covering something I think is important but lost in the “noise”. And I find the idea of a daily gratitude practice becoming more and more important. Today is sunny and I will walk in that sunshine when I leave work. And if the sun disappears I’ll be greatful for my umbrella. Because sometimes you really need to focus on the little wins to keep a sense of balance. Hugs.
I feel the same way. After November I started watching news programs from 5pm through midnight. Sunday mornings I was glued to the TV talk shows. I even watched some late night openings, like Colbert and John Oliver on Sunday( who I love, btw) . I had to just stop everything totally . It was too much. Too much worry, too much to take in, too much negativism. Not a day goes by without some kind of implosion or catastrophe. Now I keep up with a news app, no TV and I try to just live life. It just seems worse lately because not a day goes by without something happening. No down time.
I’m sorry that you are hurting. I don’t live in the US but I my sister and cousins do and I live with so much fear and anxiety for them. I try not to watch the news and I’m not on social media at all. But I find myself checking the news every few days because I want to know if something is heading for my family. I’m sending the same prayers and good energy as I do for my family your way. Be at peace.
I’ve been there, too. I haven’t watched network news in several years, only tuning into BBC when there’s a story I find important. I’ve decided that politicians will never have my best interests at heart, and so expect nothing better. I too am sick of the constant barrage of crises. One way I’ve coped is by helping out the husky rescue where I got my 2 dogs. So now my Facebook feed is filled with happy dogs and happy people… 6 adoptions this weekend alone! I also spend time creating things, often out of repurposed items and thrift store finds. Making something beautiful with my own two hands is its own special kind of magic. I know I can’t fix the big problems, but I can make the world a little better here, where I am.
I wake up every morning and it’s a race to see whether it’ll be an angry day, an anxious day, or a fearful one. The amount of stress hormones pumping through my body cannot be sustained. Limiting social media seems to help quite a bit.
I understand how you feel.
I live in a small East European county and here the news are even worse: if Russia does something, it will affect us, because Russian interests are strong in our region. If Turkey does something it will affect us, because we share a border. And of course if USA does something it will affect the entire world. And even less depends on us than on the citizens in these countries because we can’t even vote for the politicians that rule them.
However, I don’t quite agree with you that nothing you do makes a difference. The books you write affect people more than just by providing an escape. When we read about your characters, who are good people with integrity this affects us, even on a subconscious level. I think many people have become a little bit more open and tolerant thanks to your books. So you are changing the world, one reader at a time 🙂
I have to agree with Iva. I believe you make a BIG difference with your books (beside the wonderful escape!)!!!! You provide an example of what integrity, honesty, loyalty, simple kindness, and a sense of personal morality look like and the effect it can have. Unfortunately many, many people do NOT have this example elsewhere in their lives – and need yours. I too am saddened and afraid for our future!! Just imagine if we (the general public) did not have available anything like your books to counteract the poison liberally spread by mainstream media these days!! Family structure is no longer what it used to be, and as a public school teacher of 23 years experience, I have seen a drastic change in the support system an alarming number of young people have at home – if any. I pray, try to provide a good personal example, and am thankful for the bright spots among the clouds, like your books!! Hidden among the misery mongering, I find uplifting examples of people doing good for no other reason than doing good. For example people owning boats heading to provide what hurricane relief they can to areas of the country and people with who they have no relationship or ties. They do this quietly, with no great fanfare or desire for publicity, just a desire to help their fellow man. Of course this kind of thing doesn’t make “big” news, but fills me with a spark of hope. I thank you for also providing not only a very pleasurable escape, but a good example of how we can mold our own moral compass towards generosity and goodness instead of the seemingly popular greed and self-interest. I hope I am expressing myself well instead of coming across in a tangled rant. I definitely do not have your gift for writing, but maybe at least got my general idea across. Hugs ? and positive thoughts to you!!!!! ??
I turn off because it is all too much, and there is so little I can do to change the worst if it. So I try little acts, telling someone how nice their edgy hair color looks, how beautiful their headscarves is, or even just a smile and hello. Maybe I buy an extra bag of dog food and give it and a couple of bucks to a homeless girl and her dog. Little things I can do to keep the dark at bay.
Ilona-you have been through stuff that most us have never gone through. The reason that people immigrate to the US is to live safely and take care of their families. I love your stories and I love the one you wrote today. Enjoy the new house, new braunfels is a great place to live, so enjoy it.
I stopped reading/looking at “news” filled social networks about a year ago and then had to go away from Twitter from about January. I just can’t deal with it. It was really stressing me out. And I live abroad. I’ve recently started looking at Twitter again in small batches, but it is just too taxing a lot of the time.
Everyone gets there. And everyone needs to just have a big hug (whether physically or emotionally). Take all the time you need.
A very apt post. We face this same problem in India. One can understand the reason behind it all; the news channels are branded “24/7”, so there should be something “24/7” to talk about, or the channels would fall.
Still, it isn’t very good for a society already as heterogeneous as ours.
I used to get depressed watching news, and even social media was irritating, so, as an experiment, I deleted all my social media accounts two months back, got rid of the TV, and focused on websites where I could read only what interested me personally, and subscribed to authors I like. The experience is very positive. Would definitely recommend people to try it out.
Hello from France here.
I sympathise deeply because I feel the same. Although the TV or radio here tend to be less dramatic than the news channels in the US, it has definitly worsened since my younger days. I can’t take anymore violence, agressivity, disasters or intolerance.
So I cut off the news, both TV and Internet. Now the starting page of my browser is a randomly chosen picture from the National Geographic, reminding me how the world is beautiful. I blocked friends on my FB (I don’t have Twitter), even very close friends, because I couldn’t take anymore fear-inducing articles, petitions about species going extinct/forests disappearing, cancerous food and so on.
It feels a little bit like a snail retreating inside its shell, but really it’s self-preservation. I preserve myself and my family from the darker side of the outside world, focusing my happyness, my energy and my optimism on them rather than burn it away on what feels like and endless stream of drama.
Talking about difficult times from where we stand always feels like “first world problems” and of course it doesn’t compare with struggling to find food and shelter each day, but still we cannot deny that the general mood isn’t really positive at the moment and we have to deal with this is our own ways.
Mine is staying close to nature, enjoying a beautiful sunrise, a funny shaped cloud, a walk in the forst with my dog. I find the contact with nature is always soothing and gives a sense of far greater and wonderful things than petty political/social struggles. At night, I spend time watching the stars, because that makes me (and everything else) very, very small and very, very limited in time. So… we are buying the kids a telescope for their birthday 😉
Aaaaand of course, apart from contemplating nature and the vastness of the universe, I deal with bad days by immersing myself in one of your books, even if I have read them all, several times, it just feels so good to dive again in this universe and shut out the world for a while, like cuddling in a soft and familiar blanket.
Thank you for that, and my thoughts go to you, sending positive energy your way 🙂
You do that! I understand completely! I am not on any social media just because of this. I have a plugin installed that blocks comments. I only read news from sources that do not sensationalize and take a constructive perspective, and I pay for that privilege. You do what you need to do, too.
I think one of the biggest misconceptions of our time is that we need to keep up with the world. We don’t. It doesn’t need us to, It’s too big for that. 🙂
Im an Aussie so i have a level of detachment due to distance and not watching tv or much social media
I think Donald is a gift from God to all of humanity
We have to change as a species, but we are only going to make that change if we are forced to. Its a sad but true fact and Donald makes us mad, disgusted, confused, fearful….but he isnt making us complacent, we cant all say, we just have to ride this out. So many i have talked to are making changes.
Here is my question, as a species how are we CHOOSING to change? Are we going to willingly make changes or be forced?
I commend you for donating to charities, ringing congressman and taking action…you are standing up for your conscious and morals. Its exhausting but i encourage you to find the stamina to continue.
Over the last 5 years my country has made decisions which i cannot morally support, so has my society. I have had to make huge life decisions and stick to them even though its really freaking hard….then my fears started to change and now my greatest fear is ‘what if i do nothing’?
Some quotes i have pondered when googling Edmond today,
“We must all obey the great law of change. It is the most powerful law of nature, and the means perhaps of its conservation.”
“When the leaders choose to make themselves bidders at an auction of popularity, their talents, in the construction of the state, will be of no service. They will become flatterers instead of legislators; the instruments, not the guides, of the people.” – Edmond Burke.
This is so true. Big thanks for the E. Burke quote.
I agree. If nothing else, the current administration is forcing a choice on us. I like to think I know which way we will go, but it will be complicated and uncomfortable.
You’re not alone in this feeling. I live in Las Vegas and am sitting in my living room watching the news about the strip. I feel like I can’t turn around without being drowned in the hate anger and fear in society. I appreciate the escape your books provide from the reality we live in right now
It can be overwhelming and too much. I don’t watch the news often because it is everywhere and we can’t escape it. I think we need to take time and unplug from electronics even for an hour or more. The news frequently overzealous in their reporting. Or I should say the media or press. All of them. I know we aren’t getting full stories. Their job is to get people to watch and boost ratings. Not to say that none of it’s true because some is but can be over-exaggerated. Targeting anyone and everyone. I just pick up my Kindle Fire and read lol. It’s my escape and we can’t always worry so much otherwise we’d go nuts. Things should concern is but not to the point it’s affecting our lives. It’s time to get away from tv and internet etc for awhile. ?
Yes, you’ve expressed a common experience, as evidence by the comments. I count myself fortunate that when my husband left a decade ago he took the television with him and I didn’t replace it. My only social media account is Facebook, but sometimes I’ll go several days before looking at it and then I’ll scroll through stuff until it’s not interesting – then I stop. I catch the national news in the car on the way to and from work since, rather like the BBC, they tend to be more measured in their reporting, but have realised recently that if World War 3 broke out at the weekend I might not know about it until Monday rolled around. So I try to log in at least once on a weekend to radionz.co.nz to check the headlines. But sometimes I don’t. And that’s ok. I try to check my email once a day – but if I’m too busy that’s ok too. The rather ancient slogan ‘The personal is political’ has somehow combined with the ‘Think global – Act local’ slogan in my essence to mean that I’ve taken a very hard look at my sphere of DIRECT influence – I do the best I can with those direct interactions and if they resonate in some way further through society, that’s a bonus. If they don’t, that’s ok too since I did the best I could in the moment. I realise it’s harder for authors because you’re primed for an audience. But I think you’re taking a sensible course of action in creating boundaries that work for you.
Ever since my baby boys birth, I’ve been the Ultimate Ostrich: my head is stuck so far in the sand that it’s a wonder I can hear or see anything. I’ve deleted my twitter account, disconnected my Facebook, unsubscribed from the newspaper and refuse to watch the news or listen to the radio. We have it bad here (and I will not even bother to specify where that is) as the current ethnic minority, where being born with a certain skin color gives you an automatic classification as a bigot, and jobs are almost impossible to find as result. I refuse to let those emotions color my interactions with my beautiful baby boy, he deserves so much better. Thank you for providing us with the escape we so desperately need, and take any and all measures to protect yourself from the sensationalism running rampant in today’s media.
I agree so much with this post, and you’ve left out the more regional news that we all experience that points out that the world is going to crap in a handbasket but your neighbourhoood/community is already in the handbasket. While I can appreciate the news needing that sensationalism to sell and make money as they’re businesses, there are friend’s I’ve stopped following or asked facebook to show me less from them simply because they’re getting so active and pointing out the terribleness of the world.
And to touch very briefly on politics I think the way we handle politics and politicians more than the party you agree/disagree/tolerate is the problem not the individual parties/people. The system is skewed is such a way that the politician can’t make the big sweeping changes a lot of them wanted to, and if they managed half of it there’s a good chance they wouldn’t get elected again the next term – and lets face it everybody wants and to a point deserves job security.
I’ve cut out Facebook(lot of political friends) unless I’m specifically tagged or someone I follow says something. Then I only check those posts. I only read The Register for news and don’t ever watch the news. I don’t want to feel like I am sticking my head in the sand but I know that this constant level of harassment isn’t good for me. Or anyone. It doesn’t create informed discourse. It only causes rage and creates separation from each other and from the good in the world. I hope you can get back to writing. I do love your work.
Hi, I know how you feel, I have not read a national news paper for years. I don’t watch the news (I feel BBC news being measured is relative to where you live) but my husby and I get our news from the BBC website and teletext. its much easier to avoid ‘the everything is a crisis’ delivery of stories. My husband decided that every day he would look for a good news story, most days he finds one and some days he just finds interesting ones but whatever he finds none of them are a crisis!
Today’s story was an interesting one: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-africa-41429000/bull-wrestling-for-love-madascar Humans, we’re just a little nuts ?
Thank you
Like many of the others, I’m having to limit my on-line viewing.
I’m finding it hard to tolerate fools and there are too many fools out there. 🙁
Take care.
You are so right, all intended to incite fear, where is the kindness. I think there are many of us that feel exactly the way you do. I hope things get better soon. We as a country seem to be coming apart at the seams.
Firstly, hugs.
Next, as you see here,this is merely a small sample of sensitive, like-minded souls that share your determination to limit their exposure to social toxicity.
Thirdly, every kindness, every thoughtful act, every compassionate impulse that you materialize, your art, your political awareness and action, all MAKE A DIFFERENCE, a kind DIFFERENCE, a difference that breaks down the social toxin that permeates our times. For many years, books like yours were my only friends. Stories like yours gave me the courage to learn how to let others be a friend, how to choose again, and again to believe in, perceive, and contribute to the good in the world.
Lastly, do what you need to do to keep your light going, so that the toxicity is revealed for what it is…that which challenges us to live with loving-mindedness when it is most needed.
Peace
Thank you. Last year my husband and I moved from Hong Kong to Delaware. Mostly because of the nonstop political division and the screaming. Everybody feels something about the situation, nobody knows mostly anything about the situation, but once the topic comes up, everybody is mad. When you live in such a densely populated city, even if you’re not talking about it, the people from the next table is talking about it. I was so majorly depressed about the situation, I told my husband to move to the US. The move took us over a year to make happen, but we did it.
No, the political situation here is not better. Here people are more aware that you can talk politics and religion with just anybody, and I can avoid it mostly. But, like you, I can’t watch the news here either. Firstly, they don’t really tell you what has happened or hapenning around the world, but rather, the news is oddly very “local”, so much so that even major country elections are not reported. Secondly, they keep on trying to sensationalize the story, and have people yelling from both factions regarding it. I actually listened to an ad from Fox News on the radio, pretty much the last line of it is “you will feel something after watching it”.
i don’t want to be apathetic, but I also don’t want to be riled up by the events, specifically I don’t want to be riled up more because of the way the incident is told. I can feel the pain about natural disasters without making it worse by showing the devastation, but including shots of parents hugging their sick child.
Your books are indeed an escape, it lets me believe that in any terrible situation, no matter how dire, that someone is fighting against all odds to help fix it. Thank you.
I enjoy your books because you and Gordon write with humor and compassion and your characters are all colors and persuasions. It’s people like you who are little lights of bright in a sometimes dark world. You help to keep my light brighter too.
I cut the cord and no longer watch the news 24/7, and it has been much better. What I realized what was happening , is that the news media was controlling the narrative. If the story was meant to ramp up anxiety, or fear, or anger, or whatever else they wanted me to feel, it was working. I now get my news via podcasts I choose. I can hear both sides of the same story, get their back up sources to research, and make my own decision based on knowledge rather than feelings. I do not think the media should use speculation to fill their hours of news time.
Thank you for your stories that allow me a respite from the real world, where honorable people band together and fight evil, and just for a little while I can sit at the “cool kids” table. 🙂
This. Exactly. I started limiting the time I spend on social media last October. It’s been a year and things are only getting worse. I have feelings. I care. I package up my donations for causes. I donate time and money to help. But I refuse to continue to feel like what I’m doing isn’t enough. I’m tired of all of the hate and lack of respect and basic human compassion on all sides. It hurts my heart. So rather than getting wrapped up, I try to be the best parent and friend I can be.
And P.S. PLEASE continue to be one of the lights in my world though your writing. Books are my escape, and your books are a huge part of that. Thank you!
<3
We turned off our tv and electronics and spent the last two weekends working with some really sweet folks in Naples, Florida to clean up the mess left by hurricane Irma. It was hot, sweaty work…and absolutely wonderful! While we can’t change the world, we can make a difference in the lives of those around us. If everyone felt that way, then…I guess we could change the world!
I have an increasing list of people coming to talk to me with anxiety and a very common thread is the various forms of media and information overload. It’s becoming a real problem.
Take care of yourself, it’s great you are being proactive in taking control and trying to find a balance that will work for you.
We are being manipulated by the media. Why aren’t the good stories being told? I know they are out there…people helping each other, all the folks with boats who clogged the highways to get TO Texas to help in flooded areas. No thanks asked, no color discrimination, no monies exchanged hands. Just people. Helping each other. We see in the “news” about riots, violence, race hatred, and I think to myself…where was this 10 years ago? Why suddenly does it seem like this is a problem? I don’t believe it can be pointed to one particular political party, or even one person. But they are trying to make us believe that. Where is it all coming from? It sounds paranoid, and I consider myself to be a person of logic and not prone to paranoia. It is healthier to turn it all off, and creative people find this all especially hard. Having been raised with a solid “All that evil needs to proliferate is for good men to do nothing” I find it especially hard. There are MILLIONS of good people out there. Doing good. Not protesting, damaging property, puffing themselves up. But good people. Think of them. Take care of yourselves, please. Your books are a warm blanket or a hug from a far away friend (and often visited).
I haven’t watched the news in ages. Some, of course, filters in through friends and Facebook but not a lot. I have the feeling I will be old and people will be asking “what was it like living through the (notable historical period/ event)” and I would say “I didn’t even know I was living through it!”.
Love you?
A while ago when I felt overwhelmed by a sense of powerlessness in the face of everything out there I decided that if I couldn’t change the world of people out there I could perhaps change the world for one person. So I spent the next year volunteering in a literacy program. Last year I did tax returns for the elderly. Instead of looking at the crowds, I decided to focus on individuals. This won’t solve major problems (we’re just not a very bright species) but it can make things better maybe for at least one person. That has to be enough.
You say “I don’t know what else to do”. I say, you are already doing it.
By writing your books which transport us to new and magical places, you give thousands of people the opportunity to escape from “reality” (whatever that is) for a while. And that’s incredibly important. It’s rare that any of us individuals have an opportunity to truly change things on a global scale. And that’s an unrealistic goal. I hope you can find a path through the chaos to find your comfort zone to allow you to create more of your incredible worlds.
Well said.
Thank you for this post, I am also an ostrich, and have been for a while. But no more ulcer, Tums is no longer a food group and I can sleep again.
I have also been re-reading all your books, just finished inn keeper again.?
I can completely understand where you’re coming from on this Ilona. As someone who really struggles with both depression and anxiety this last year or so has really had a huge impact on my mental health and I just have to completely unplug from the news and social media sometimes or I’d go insane. It’s so hard to switch off when you’re being bombarded from all directions from news alerts on your phone to the constant rants and arguments on twitter and so much more. I spend most of my online time on Goodreads (which I understand would probably be more stressful for you as an author!) and instagram these days because they seem to be relatively safe havens from the madness found everywhere else.
I should have added to my last comment that reading your books is a huge comfort for me so thank you for giving us all a refuge from the storm. I reread your books regularly and when I’m lost in one of your stories I can forget about everything that is stressing me out in real life and that’s a huge gift! I can’t imagine how hard it must be to keep creating when you’re feeling like this but we appreciate everything you do and if it means we get less stories from you each year because you’re taking the time to care for yourselves and your family then that’s fine – I’ll just reread more in between new releases 🙂 I want you to know how much your books help people and that we’re extremely grateful for that gift!
I am with you. When it gets too much I goto audible book from authors like you to escape and do what I need to do
THANK YOU
I feel you. Me too. ❤️
Look away, look away; look away . . . land.
We are a People, we are not a land. We are a people who have been promised that we not only will be heard but that we have the rights to express our selves and that what we have to say will be heard.
These promises have given, “the news”, a power and a position to those and their platform who bring it to us a power that, “they”, claim to respect and to police and to uphold.
What Happened.
What happened is what occurs when those who must in truth and trust must report to us, don’t want us to know what they do, are doing, or have done. Our POTUS who we are stuck with for a period of time is not keeping faith.
His oversight (congress) and their oversight (news) is not getting answers and both are gearing to We Know NOT What . . . fight, investigate, protect, report . . . So We the People are inundated with commercials, with pleas for help with horror elsewhere,With DISTRACTIONS, whose sole purpose is to drain our mind and numb our spirits.
Pulling back from those entrusted with keeping us informed when they do not is our weapon.
They don’t get to be paid by not working, this is NOT us giving up or giving in. This is us standing our ground and insisting upon our rights and on their performing their duties and obligations.
Don’t fall for the hype, do not let them convince you that you are not doing anything by refusing their attempt to drown you in trivia. Pulling back will allow you to focus on what you Refuse to accept and allow the lens of what you want . . . to know, want done, or Want to come to light. This post is one of many where people who talk to others can bring a focus on how we are being marginalized and allow us to express our refusal to be so.
I often find myself reading books like yours over and over again because I find comfort in them.
I agree with you about technology. It just shows everything all the time. It’s one of the reasons why I don’t have a TV. And I tend to keep only my phone connected.
But I also think that things are more extreme because there are more people so when bad things happen more people get hurt. Everything sounds even worse because more people get hurt.
It all adds to the uncertain we are all feeling right now and affects it exponentially.
Historically the world goes through redistribution of wealth, power, supplies – it’s possible we’re getting ready to do that again.
I have felt the same. For me, it took having to step back and also see the good that is around me everyday. My neighbors. The people sitting with me when I’m waiting for my car to get fixed. The kid at the checkout counter that I share a laugh with when my 20 dollar bill looks like it’s been tortured with extreme prejudice. The couples and friendships that I see walking around that are made up of different ethnic and racial groups. Hearing friends having a light political debate when I’m picking up something at Starbucks, different viewpoints but able to laugh and smile when debating. Someone stepping in to help another pay for their drink or meal. Neighbor helping neighbor when dealing with storms, before,during, and after. Even some of the groups that are causing me the most anxiety right now, I can see, when I remember to breathe, there are others in that group not taking part, trying to do the right thing.I have also limited my exposure as well, keeping to the feel good stories on my account. I have hearted enough cat and puppy stories on yahoo that it tends to flood my news feeds now lol, along with the neighbor helping neighbor stories; though mostly I don’t do much in Social Media at the moment. Books, writing, movies,and working out have been my focus. For me, the greatest thing that has helped,has been to look more at what’s around me and to recognize that what I see online and on the news, isn’t always accurate or ‘everyone’ or all places. Not sure if that makes sense but it’s helped me to see more potential that I did more, see more hope and beauty than I was.
Thank you for your post. Your words resonated with me, and echoed thoughts that I have been having for at least half a year. I have also taken measures to limit my exposure, including deleting Facebook (I wish you success on that front, though!)
The news as it is selected by the media (it’s called agenda setting… I’m getting my PhD in this area, I’ll only bore you with more if this if you’re actually interested) is only a portion of the actual “news” that is occurring in our world. It’s a sliver of what is happening, and it is a sliver that is squarely settled over the outrageous and fear-inspiring, because this is what draws clicks and attention.
Yet because this is what is getting the attention, it is what we think about. Give yourself a moment of grace and take some time off. I know the fear you describe. Please don’t let it in. We have reasons to be hopeful, and we can bring joy to the table. You certainly do! And I’m very grateful for that.
I agree it has gotten so bad that I have even stopped with Facebook. I still check with my family and some friends but don’t read any of the newsworthy items any more. It all seems so fake.
Like you I have quit watching the news. There is just too much information all the time. Connie Willis wrote a book called Crosstalk that deals with that theme in a very fun and funny way. What we need is less not more.
Bravo for knowing your limits and saying enough. That way there be dragons (or a 24-hour news cycle). Personally I have done something similar, and can tell you by personal experience – Pinterest is usually drama free if I absolutely feel the need to kill some time and be online.
I was a librarian at a newspaper for 10 years – my job was to read the pages from front to back, cut out our stories and file them. It was the easiest job in the world, but by the last 2-3 years, I could no longer see the “happy” stories for all the horrors. Mom’s drowning their babies, men killing wives/girlfriends, robberies, elder abuse…I was getting more and more depressed about just going to work. So I quit. Became an accountant. There is a comfort to me in the “rules” and balancing debits against credits. No trauma, and MOST of the time, my clients are happy to hear from me, as hopefully, I’ve managed to save them a few dollars here and there in taxes. I stress only a couple of times during the year (April, then again in September/October for those procrastinators). The rest of the year is just fine. I haven’t read the newspaper more than once or twice a month in over a decade.
It is a hard time. I have also stopped watching the news. It isn’t about politics-it is about ethics, human rights, and truth. Fear should not be our guiding force. As my tradition says: Journey with an open heart.
I quit the news a while back, and never got on Twitter, despite being a “millennial.” Facebook is tolerable in small doses, but I get to see a wide range of views on there, and sometimes they disturb me.
I have been getting more and more cynical and jaded even so, and I think I need to look at more positive things in the world to train myself to look for them around me.
A very distressing post. I can understand how you would not want your twitter feed to be controlled by political rages. The world is becoming scarier, partly because we see more of the catastrophes that happen around the world and because we understand more about it.
Collectively we can do something, but it is hard and requires continues effort over a long period of time.
I love your books, I love the humor and the adventures you take us on. I love the worlds you build, not just because it takes me away from everyday live. But because it makes me think of the world a little differently.
I read a lot of science fiction, and it shows that no society is perfect. It is something I really like about your edge series. The way they live between worlds and the subsequent social systems they have put in place to deal with having no governing body. (Also the Weird is not really a place I would like to live – magic is great, but the hierarchy is messed up)
So I’m looking forward to the next escape, to see how the world could change and maybe shouldn’t.
We have visited Florida every year in the fall since 1989 but not this year as getting into Florida from the UK has become a nightmare. We love the country,the people and the food but your news on the TV and in the papers is very narrow in their views. It is very left or very right wing and never middle ground. Also it seems to me that it is full of doom and gloom and the same stories are repeated over and over again. News from abroad is hardly mentioned unless something catastrophic has happened, because of this we don’t watch the news when we are there so I can understand why so many people switch off the news who live there.
We need to know what is happening in the world but in a way that informs us and gives us hope for the future.
We can only do so much to help others but as long as we all do something the world will gradually become a better place for everyone.
If you can get comfortable with a good book , easy listening music , some chocolate and de stress for a few hours or get together with a few good friends and do something fun then do so.
Life is living loving and giving and if we do our best that is all we can do so don’t beat yourself up about things that are outside your control and enjoy your life and family and your work
I don’t want to turn this into a debate or argument or anything, but I just wanted to mention something that can help you cheer up. Now, I don’t know your religious views and I hate to offend anyone who doesn’t have my beliefs, but I just want to briefly mention what the Bible says about the worldwide situation being seen. Like you said, there is violence and suffering and corruption everywhere now a days. Well the Bible, in Matthew 24 lists what Jesús told his apostles would be the “sign of his presence and the conclusion of the system of things.” I mention this because despite all the bad things he said would be occurring, he gave hope for us. He mentioned that all these things would be temporary, a sign that he will act soon to end all suffering and human governments, corruption and wickedness. And once he does away with it, God promises to place his heanvly Kingdom over all the earth and happiness and peace will reign. That’s all I’ll mention on the matter but if you’d like to actually read it from the Bible I recommend Matthew chapter 24 and 25. The end of 25 basically states what God promises will replace all the suffering we see now. Hope it is of help.
I did a news fast in January. I gave up TV news years ago – you can stop reading, but you can’t unsee things on the TV and they sensationalize everything and trade on fear.
The news fast helped, it broke the cycle.
I read to escape. Your books are fabulous.
I too feel the frustration you expressed about wanting to make a difference and feeling helpless. I am trying to focus locally – I especially like things that help kids. There are some good news items that get buried in the news frenzy. Our MLS team and our Women’s NWSL team are actively helping the community. I enjoy reading about that. Building parks for kids may not be earth shattering, but maybe one of our future leaders will be affected by having a safe place to play as a kid.
Anxiety is the disease of the modern age. We all feel it, this terrible low level sense of doom and yet, we live in a time with a wonderful medical system, an abundance of stuff, indoor running water and heating for glory sake. Our children, for the most part, survive childhood, are literate and well nourished and yet we all worry, worry, worry.
Disasters have always happened, there will always be poor people, there is always evil in the world and sometimes the best laid plans yadda, yadda. The media makes money exploiting our fear and anxiety. Once I learned to recognize that the media was exploiting my natural anxiety, I learned to tune it out for the most part.
The only thing the average person can do is live the best life they can. Be true to your values, help your neighbours, and speak up when things are wrong, plant stuff and nuture your little place. It may seem like small stuff against huge problems but as a wise man once said, “the meek shall inherit the earth.”
Hang in there! I’ve re-read The Innkeeper Chronicles a dozen times, as well as your other books, and cannot thank you enough for writing them. (TIC is my favorite and can’t I wait for the next!) They give me a nice dose of (un)reality and help keep me happy and centered. You can’t change the world that is screamed at you from the networks, but you are changing peoples worlds through your gifts of escape. Thank You!
Awww, kitty hugs!
The America that I live in is not filled with hysterics, intolerance, or excessive anger. People still help each other and care about strangers. Screen time – in all its formats – is over-rated. Breathe, go for a walk, smile at someone you don’t know – best wishes for restoration of your sense of balance!
Please keep doing what you are doing. You are making a difference and it is appreciated.
I so understand where you are coming from. In recent years I have spent too much of my time hovering between suppressed rage and a fear for the future; the future of my children and grandchildren. Many of us may have read novels of dystopian future worlds and dismissed them as fiction but the terrifying thing is that the fiction shows signs of becoming a frightening reality. Yes, we are bombarded with news of war, suffering, disaster. inhumanity and corruption – what better way to keep the general populace fearful and their heads buried in the sand in the hope that it will all go away or someone else will deal with it. What better way to divert the public’s attention away from the things that we aren’t told about (and should be), supposedly in our own interests. Oh yes, misdirection has ever been a useful political tool.
I don’t read newspapers, watch national/international news or do social media. I haven’t cut myself off – far from it. What I do do is use a news app so that I can find more balanced sources and be more selective in the news that I read. I listen to the radio BBC4/world service. Radio is very much underrated in my opinion. There are lots of interesting and worthwhile programmes and I can do other things while listening and not be constantly distracted and overwhelmed by emotional and disturbing visuals. I make sure I get out into our community and talk with real people. Although I use email I also write letters (yes real letters on real paper) – you’d be surprised how many people still love receiving handwritten letters and it keeps the postal workers in a job. I volunteer my time in the community – there is so much that needs to be addressed on our own doorsteps let alone across the world but I also help with national/international causes when I can. I have been so blessed in my life the least I can do is give something back. So, Ilona (and Gordon), please keep writing your wonderful, absorbing books and carry on volunteering your help where you can. You make it all worthwhile. You may never know who you are helping but you are helping someone and one person can do more than you think. Ever see that excellent film “Pay it forward”, it illustrates exactly what I mean,
FYI – an odd thing happened when I typed the word “dystopian” on my computer, it came up with a red wavy line. Spellcheck showed no wrong spelling and no alternative words but the red line would not go away. Is this one of those stupid Microsoft things that flags random words, I wondered. Curiosity piqued, I checked my latest hard copy dictionary….not in there. Checked all my hard copy dictionaries……not in there. It;s as though the word doesn’t exist but it does. everyone knows it does. You can find it on the internet – I Googled Dystopia (grr another red line) and found plenty of references. Interesting thing is, the word Utopia (no wavy red line this time) which is the opposite of dystopia can be found in all my dictionaries. Weird.
Your post resonates. I have always been the kind of citizen that keeps up on news, feels it is my duty to write and call my congressmen, President etc. I volunteer, am Clerk at our church. And I’m overloaded with the constant barrage of this is the end of everything. I live outside St Louis. Protesters all over, in interviews they don’t know even the basics about what they are protesting. I am so done with news. I just can’t take it. I’ve always used books as escapism. I love that I can read a good book and forget about the screaming newsman who is constantly pushing the loudest story so they can get you hooked on 24/7 news. because you know, the world is ending. Every day. For months now. So done……
And can I mention on a different note, thank you so much for your Kingpin of Camelot recommendation? I loved that book and the Beast in Shining Armor one that came just before. Definitely escapism, but so very well written, thank you!!
I agree, good recommendation. Kingpin of Camelot was very funny and so were the two previous books. Could have done with a good proof read and editing (some of the errors were a bit jarring) but apart from this they were an enjoyable, escapist read.
Totally agree. I never watch the news and am apolitical 99% of the time. It literally drains the life from me and makes me physically and emotionally sick. It’s also hard to just “shrug off” and stays with me during the day. So I just don’t. It makes life easier for me. I am usually very “uninformed” but hey, it works for me. – Shelly
Me too. I’ve stopped going on FB for the most part. My husband watches the news, so I’ll sit there and read and catch glimpses of the news just to stay up on it, but beyond that, just do my day to day work because I can’t stress about those things I can’t change, I can pray about it and just go on. Otherwise we are running around wanting to hit someone, which is frowned on…or is it??
Hugs to you – thanks for writing my escape books, I just re-read them all…again!
I am right there with you. ((hugs)))
Thank you Ilona. Believe me… I think most of us know EXACTLY how you feel because we are feeling it too. I’ve been hearing people say for years now that they don’t bother watching the news anymore. They just couldn’t take it anymore… I think the biggest root to our torture is simply too much screen time, which can be a bitch to reduce.
I’m trying to step back from posting topics like that to my FB page, because I’ve decided that I don’t want to feed into it myself. Sometimes I forget that goal, but eh… we’re human, right? I try to at least look for well written stuff. Or when in doubt… find a hilarious webcomic to bust a gut to!
It’s interesting that you point out the “sensationalism” aspect, and you pretty much nailed it right on the head. “Let’s make tragedy sexy!” …or something like that seems to be the motto for American Media in particular.
It was a really nice day here yesterday, and today seems to be equally lovely in New England. I think I might try spending more time outside or finally bake that apple pie I’ve been thinking about. I’m happy to say, that this (and an ADDitude article) are the only non-work related internet schtuffs I’ve indulged in today. 😉
Hey,
Humanitarian aid worker working in Iraq here. I don’t usually talk publicly about my profession, since it is in that unhappy sweet spot of being both a job that requires immense amounts of technical knowledge to do well, and one that everyone thinks they know how to do, or has an opinion about whether it should exist as a profession at all.
I will say this though. The news is just that–the newest thing that happened. It’s not typically presented in context, and it’s almost always sensationalized (although a shout out to NPR for still being the best source of news without stress I’ve ever found). While the number of refugees around the world is the highest it’s been since World War II, and we have more natural disasters and long-term conflicts at the moment than the world can really handle, the world is actually getting better.
The number of people worldwide in extreme poverty (less than $1.90 per day) has fallen from just under 30 percent of the global population in 2000 to less than 10 percent as of 2015.
Deaths of children under 5 years of age have fallen from 12.1 million in 1990 to 5.8 million in 2016.
Between 2012 and 2016, 30.2 million more people began using contraceptives, giving people (particularly women) more control over the number and frequency of which they have children. Which also has great implications for household wealth, education, and global population.
There are more trees in the U.S. now than there were in 1920, and America is increasing use of renewable energy sources and decreasing coal use. You can find home and personal solar panels and all over Southern Africa, where people (even in rural Zimbabwe!) are skipping fossil fuels entirely and going straight to solar generation when they get electricity.
There are a lot of problems in the world, and believe me that I have strong opinions about what we could and should do to fix them. But the world is getting better. It is slow, incremental progress that we don’t hear news stories about, but it is happening.
This is GREAT information. Would you be able to post a link(s) to these? I teach nursing and would love to be able to share these with my students.
Sure thing– the basis is my work, but I did a quick google to find the actual numbers and dates from good sources, so here you go!
Percent of people in extreme poverty (Max Roser is a great resource, very reputable) http://humanprogress.org/static/3469
Child deaths and contraceptives data are both from this article https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2017/02/four-charts-that-bill-gates-loves, and the source is the Gates Foundation, which does a lot of great work around maternal and child mortality and contraceptives, so good figures. Also some other positive things I didn’t mention!
Forest statistics are from an article on Buzzfeed (yes, I know) link here: https://www.buzzfeed.com/hilarywardle/lets-print-out-a-house-and-move-to-mars?utm_term=.yp9N70zpK#.ppy0PLOm3
The paper behind the article is here (see page 3) https://www.fia.fs.fed.us/library/ForestFactsMetric.pdf
Regarding use of solar panels, that’s based on personal experience rather than data, but here is a link to a CNN article http://edition.cnn.com/2016/12/15/africa/off-the-grid-tanzania-rwanda/index.html describing how solar is developing in various parts of Africa. This is one example, but there are a lot of similar initiatives and companies operating in this space.
But we did hear it – you told us. This sort of clear information from someone “on the spot” I am more than happy to read. Thank you.
Love this contribution…thank you!
I deleted all my social network accounts due to the negativity. I try to smile and do a good deed for family and stranger’s. I hope people will pay it forward. I can’t control other people’s action but I can control mine. I choose to be a good person.
Give CBC a try. It will have all the horror ones, such as Las Vegas shooting today (and I will try to read about the victims, because this is a small thing I can do among many I can’t – mourn them). But CBC also has shortlist of novels for some prize and POV from common people, and a story about bears in Manitoba sitting on the discarded couch. I never took to US news, even when I lived there, but I used to like BBC a lot, however not anymore.
Maybe these two stories on the BBC will make someone laugh and shake his or her head this afternoon.
First story: Subtitle software did a major oops during a football (soccer) match between Liverpool and Newcastle United. This is what happened: Commentator Guy Mowbray said Liverpool’s Daniel Sturridge had scored five goals against the black and whites. But software confused the word “comma”, spoken by a subtitler, and put “scum” into the on-screen text. The text on screen showed: “…and for the Reds against the black and white scum he boasts five….” It was noticed by football writer Paul Brown, who tweeted a screenshot from the show on Sunday night, saying “MOTD2 subtitler evidently not a Newcastle fan.”
Second story (this one shook my head, and I thought “uh, maybe the guy was reading the book of Revelation out loud”): Wimbledon station commuters flee train in ‘Bible’ panic. This is what happened: Passengers forced open the doors on a busy rush-hour train and climbed on to tracks after becoming “panicked” in the carriage. It happened outside Wimbledon station in south-west London at 08:30 BST as a man apparently began reading lines aloud from the Bible. Commuters became scared when the man began quoting phrases such as, “death is not the end”, a passenger said. Rail power lines were cut as passengers “self-evacuated”, police said. Trains through the area were expected to remain disrupted until 17:00 BST. Ian, who was on the train, said the man’s Bible-reading led to a “commotion” and a “crush”. He said someone then asked the man to stop speaking “as he was scaring people” and “the guy stopped and stood there with his head down”.
Yes. I heard the second story and did indeed smile and shake my head in astonishment. I would definitely say this man chose the wrong platform (excuse the pun) for his testimony.
I mostly grew up in the 70’s and 80’s without TV because my parents thought it rotted the brain. As an adult I embraced TV but recently haven’t watched in five years in part because I want more control over what gets downloaded into my brain. Before that, I hadn’t watched live broadcast commercial television since 2006 because I wanted more control over what was downloaded into my brain.
Study after study shows that we react to what we are shown and told regardless of how truthful it is, people who watch CSI marathons feel much more unsafe than people who don’t, even though CSI is a fictional television show.
History tells us that there have been way more catastrophic periods in history (can anyone say plague/famine, multiple waves, in the 1200’s and 1300’s that wiped out 20-60% of the population or even the very real Great Chicago Fire that you so successfully fictionalized in your work ), but now we are experiencing everygroup’s , everywhere crises, all at the same time. Our brains have not developed to handle this overload.
If you look at history there have been worse times near and far (can you imagine if the US in the 60’s had gotten this kind of 24/7 social media and media coverage) but the way it’s all being downloaded into our psyche’s in real time changes how we are affected by it.
I opt out, I don’t watch news from the people I agree with or disagree with, I don’t Facebook, I don’t Tweet, I don’t CNN. I do have a written article addiction that I’m breaking, but that was also on my terms and in my time. I feel healthier and happier and I can think straight when an issue lands on my doorstep. I highly recommend it as a lifestyle.
We can control what is input into our systems, we don’t have to be at the mercy of other’s agendas, we just have to decide our wellbeing (and we) is (are) worth it.
Thank you for creating the escapes–books have always been my safe place, my escape place, and yours are a very good one. I’m sorry things are so overwhelming; goodness knows I agree with you on that!
I hear you! And then… Vegas, right after you posted this. You are saying what I’m thinking, and a remote cabin in the woods without electricity sounds really great right now. I wish I had better “roughing it” skills. I think maybe we’re all driving each other a bit crazy – because the internet keeps us all a bit too much in one another’s face. Stay strong, stay positive! I love your writing, as always.
I understand. I’d looked forward all year to an upcoming conference in South Korea this month, but the news coming out of the region is horribly depressing . It was to be my final international conference, a chance to talk with my peers in China, Taiwan, South Korea, Japan and United Arab Emirates about our responsibilities for keeping nuclear fuel safe. Now the rising tensions, missile launches and hydrogen bomb tests conducted by North Korea have me on the verge of cancelling my trip. My boss and my entire senior management team are debating the wisdom of letting me go. My hubby doesn’t want me going, either. I want to stay home. Stay in bed. Reread Hidden Legacy (again!). Can’t trust the news. Don’t want to live in fear. Can’t quite bring myself to walk away. October 12th is my drop dead date for canceling reservations. What to do? I need a cookie.
I get where you are coming from, Ilona. Many years ago, my naturopath told me that my stress levels were too high and I had to quit watching/listening to the news. I am very empathic and permission to unplug was the best thing that ever happened to me. I finally gave my TV away last year as it hadn’t been on for over 10 years and I don’t listen to the news in the car- I’m all audiobook, all the way. Which is why I love your books. I know I’ll get my HEA. I need it. I can’t even watch most movies, as they are just too visceral. But with your books, I know the journey will be entertaining and unlike Game of Thrones, you aren’t killing off my favourite characters. 🙂 Peace be to you and those in your home.
Hang in there. Take whatever break you need from the madness. Our society’s technology has caused the media overload. There is nothing new under the sun, but now we know it instantly. To me your father’s response sounds wise.
I spent years avoiding news of any kind. Finally, I decided that serenity achieved through ignorance wasn’t really serenity at all; but I still have a lot of difficulty with the screaming and the desperation and not least, the silliness of newscasters.
My compromise is Public Radio news. Always calm, always balanced, and no images.
I thought I’d share, because I feel your pain. 🙂
You named people Frida and Leon. You can’t give up, because they didn’t. You’re the only fantasy writer who mentions unions (that I know of) in their post-apocalypse scenario, and I need that in my life. It is REALLY bad right now, and millions of people are fighting to make it better. Your books remind me, and probably a lot of other people, you can make the right choices in shitty, shitty situations. And sometimes just the choice to keep going is enough.
As humans we will adapt unfortunately. In time ( it probably has started already to a certain degree) we will loose our ability to empathise to other people’s plights. Which is probably even worse..
I feel the same way and yes I listen to your books (an others) to take a break, mostly from my work but also the world in general.
History teach us that things has been much much worse. Compare our life now with that of the Middle Ages, WW1 and WW2 and so one. I really miss Professor Hans Rosling
(https://www.ted.com/talks/hans_rosling_shows_the_best_stats_you_ve_ever_seen). He was a voice of reason.
Everyone needs to calm down with their fear and keep a cool head to solve the issues we have.
Unfortunately, the examples that Ilona cited are genuine emergencies, and if we retreat from reality too far because being in a constant state of anxiety and fear is overwhelming, we risk being complicit when the Jesu-Nazis take complete control. I don’t know the answer. But I do know that to a certain extent, if good people don’t hang tough and deal with the daily horrors of life on a planet that is on the verge of deadly-for-humans climate change, there will be no hope.
I stopped watching the news over 20 years ago. I get my news in written form from specialized sources on the internet. That originally helped, but no longer. I have been in a state of constant anxiety and fear ever since Trump was elected. And as a chronically ill person on Social Security Disability, much of the health care debacle is directly relevant to me. And if this issue is not directly relevant to you, it is undoubtedly directly relevant to loved ones in your life. Are you prepared to step in and support loved ones who are dependent on government issued health insurance and Social Security if the ACA is abolished, and replaced by dangerously inadequate health insurance? How many times can people dependent on Social Security withstand yearly no cost of living increases? Can you really afford to be indifferent to this issue, as well as a myriad of other issues that will directly impact our lives and our children’s lives?
I think that one way to deal with overwhelming stress is to limit our daily exposure to the news. Another method is to pick one issue and volunteer to work for your cause in a significant way. Another is to spend time in nature and with children or the elderly.
My best wishes to everyone, regardless of political associations, during these very difficult times.
I just wanted to thank you both for continuing to write. Your books really are a wonderful escape from reality. Those times I need an escape and something uplifting to me me feel better. I hope you and Gordon find your escape too.
I feel the same. I can’t even watch US tv dramas anymore, even though they are highly rated. I’m watching Korean dramas and historical Chinese dramas instead. Ten Miles of Peach Blossoms episode 11 has a black dragon prince who, when he transforms, reminds me of the dragon prince who goes to Julie’s school.
Ilona…
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I have no answer that will make everything bright & shiny for you.
But maybe, knowing that you are in this state of mind…and how the media is making you feel…
Can you make your home a “Peace Zone”?
A safe home with music and quiet that you & your family can look forward to living in?
I wish you the best and thank you for all the “adventures” I’ve lived through your books.
Cindy
ps…how did the yarn turn out from Portland?
I had to turn off the TV years ago and now I listen to classical music most of the time. Shortly after I read this post in my email, I read the following quote. Hope it gives you a bit of comfort.
When I despair, I remember that all through history, the way of truth and love has always won. There have been murderers and tyrants, and for a time they can seem invincible. But in the end they always fall. Think of it, always. -Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (2 Oct 1869-1948)
There is good in the world, but it takes longer and more work for it to happen. News, especially social media, is/are too myopic to look that far out. I have two sites bookmarked that I go to each day, The Good News Network and Sunnyskyz.com. They post daily, sometimes more often, and it’s always good news.
My sister gave me the Hidden Legacy books to read and I did so the week my husband went on a week long mission trip to southern Virginia. The books helped me not miss him so much. (Thank you.) Hubby had ferrets as a young man, so he read them too.
I think you said what many of us are thinking. The entire bloody world has gone crazy. I used to read about the 14th century, witch burning, whole villages dancing until they dropped and I wondered if it was possible for the world to go crazy. My answer is now, Yes, it certainly is.
I escape into your stories, other books, and heading into the woods with my dog for a couple of hours. I live near a lovely clear, gravel and stone lined, rippling river. It flows through a heavily wooded area on the edge of the White Mountains in New Hampshire. I can sit on a bank and watch the water flow by. Small fish and bigger ones swim around the larger rocks. The water is so clean that 4 feet of water is like clear air. Once in awhile a blue heron or family of mergansers come by. I just sit, an arm around my big ol’ dog, not thinking about anything, but what I am seeing. Letting the water flow through my mind seems to be pretty calming. When I get home I do not turn on the TV. My cell phone number is given only to people I want to hear from. I do not participate in any “social” or anti-social media. I have that liberty and take it. I simply could not remain a civil human being otherwise. I appreciate your contribution to my mental well being and hope that you may find some peace too.
Thank you for sharing your truth. I think it’s the truth for a lot of us cause I know it is for me. Respect your choices to take care of yourself and buffer yourself from overload. Thank you for the refugecof you books. They help keep me sane. Knitting does too. So, if you need to loose yourself in some beautiful yarn, creating a lovey something, go for it.
Another side of a coin. I turned my TV off after the Cowboys had been whipped by the Rams. My neighbor called me at 8:30 AM, this morning, Oct. 2, she asked, “How is your son and his family?” “Fine, when I talked to him last Thursday. Why?” “There was a mass killing in Las Vegas on the Strip last night.” “I’ll call you later, thanks.” On goes my TV. 50 plus dead, 500 plus wounded. I sent a text message. I was fearful, my son works at night near the strip by McCarren. My daughter-in-law is on-call at specialty events. My anxiety was climbing. It was 9:30 AM, before I found out they were OK. My TV stayed on until it became redundant. I won’t turn it on until the evening news.
Thank you everyone for sharing your comments. Here are my two cents worth. I was beginning to wonder about my sister’s and my sanity. Neither one of us can watch tv news at this point. I personally feel as if I’ve been beaten to a pulp with all the disasters and political hype. We’ve had to limit our exposure to the news (written and electronic) to a bare minimum because we usually end up babbling and threatening to smash the tv (which would be expensive not to mention foolish). Your books are a godsend. Without reading and re-reading them I would be climbing the walls. Thank you!
I so feel where you are coming from with this. I have had to hide certain friends and news media from my FB just to have a small respite. And your books, as well as some of my other favorites authors, are what I turn to to escape when I just can’t take any more negativity in the world. So thank you for your books. Thank you for your gift with words that build a world we enjoy escaping into!
I am right there with you (and all these other thoughtful posts). Thank you for sharing your light in my darkness. I love reading your words, whether blog or book. I also heed your recommendations and enjoyed Date Night, and more recently Kingpin. I walked into my yoga class this morning and burst into tears. I fear for the future of humans, and humanity in general. I try to shine my light the best way I know how, as much as I can. It’s really all we can do.
Thank you for a thoughtful post that I believe is reflective of what a majority of Americans are feeling right now. I too have removed myself from most news sources, as I don’t believe the majority is actually news, but instead opinion pieces. Love, love, love all of your writing… just know that you are not alone in these feelings… I wish all media would open their eyes to impact of the current reporting
I agree that much of what you hear from most news sources is opinion. We have more than enough stress in our lives without the news being sensationalized like it’s in Weekly World News or National Enquirer
I certainly understand where you are coming from with your post. I too really limit my consumption of “news” and especially “opinions” on social media where many seem to get some sort of kick out of being as hateful as possible in their comments. That said, there are incredible people everywhere that strive every day to bring light and improve the world around them. Millions donate to charities, volunteer their time, talents and help to help others.
Look even to the most recent disasters – you saw people helping people no care for race, religion or the other petty differences and issues that agitators seem to work so hard to divide people about. Unfortunately disasters, horrendous events happen, have always happened, but people come together, help each other, get a bigger perspective that lets them get past any differences and spurs them to work together. Most people are good.
Yes, I too sometimes lament that courtesy and self-control seem to be considered old fashioned and undervalued by many, unfortunately often by those with the public eye where they promote such attitudes. BUT – every day I see, read, hear about people caring, sharing, helping others. Not for rewards, not because they necessarily agree or believe the same, but because they believe that to do good is the way to improve things and make the world a better place.
Don’t let the doomsdayers get you down. You two are one of the rays of sunshine that brings good and happy to so many.
I want to say that your books are often the ones I turn to when I need to escape. (The year my mom died I read every single one of your books. Twice.) With all the fear being fostered by the news outlets I read more fiction and watch / read less news. I seek out neutral news sources (have you heard about the adorable 15 year old boy with a passion for both politics and factual – non opinion based – reporting? Google Wake Up To Politics) and keep my social media to an absolute minimum.
The fear affects everyone. I’ve decided that what I can do is focus on spreading kindness and giving positive feedback. So, in that light, thank you for the gift of your writing. You make a difference in my life.
Checked out his site. Interesting. Thanks for the tip.
It’s been a long time since I started reading your books and blog and I don’t usually post comments, but today I think I may be able to bring you a little bit of confort as you do with your work for us.
I’m from Barcelona and I was at one of the schools where the police brutality was shocking. Still, even when the antiriot police attacked we endured the hits peacefully with our hands up. When we heard on the radio that small vulnerable towns were being raided over by the “Guardia Civil”, we resisted harder, because we were there defending our right to express ourselves democratically. And after the horror and the outrage of what happened started to fade away, we were left feeling proud and stronger than before because we did it. We voted and fought together with dignity and hope, no matter if your vote was a yes or a no. And this feeling of unity is something that we will never forget. So don’t feel sad for us. In Catalonia the 1 of October will always be remembered with pride.
Thank you for sharing your words and experience. I much prefer to hear from those who speak quietly and with dignity than those who rant and threaten. May all your families and friends be safe!
I can only say thank you for sharing your talent with us–we are all the better for it. I feel your angst and wish it could be otherwise, but this is what we have today. All we can do is our best to share a smile, a helping hand, a kind word. I hope you can persevere and find the desire to write again. Again, thank you!
My grandfather (who was my heart) died the day after the election. I can’t see anything dealing with politics without thinking about him, and missing him so much. I found a Facebook plug-in called social fixer (http://socialfixer.com/) that’s been my godsend. You can block keywords, politics, football, pretty much anything. Its nice, I’ve got most of my feed down to funny memes and puppies and my friends having babies or going on trips. The happy stuff.
There are times I want to head for the top of a mountain and just observe civilization go through its cycles. Not be a part of them. This has all happened before. I avoid most blogs, facebook, and am careful about my news sources too. I read a lot of books just to escape life. It all helps. I re read Innkeeper or about Rogan and Nevada when I want a place to go that I like and where I like the people I meet. You are valued and perform a valuable service by keeping us all sane-er than we would be otherwise.
I am from India. The situation here with the media is not far from what you have described. I read the newspaper daily. And often I feel sad, slightly depressed and resigned to all the bad that is happening in the society. Its really hard to not be affected by it especially if it is a crime, I’m like ” That could be me or someone I love or care about , what can I do to prevent it or make it better for not just me but others too. But I don’t know what to do.” If I read the news in the early morning, usually it is not a good start for the day or the week that’s why I avoid reading news in the morning.
Just because of all the negativity in the media, a newspaper in India started a ‘No Negative Monday’ campaign since last year. Mostly positive news is printed and a few paragraphs containing negative news with a headline of ‘Negative news section’. A research shows readers have given a good response to the campaign.Something like this should be implemented by other sources of media too.
I withdrew from close observation of the media several years ago because of the very thing you are speaking about. I have NPR email headlines. If I think it necessary to know about that particular topic then I read it. If not it’s deleted. NPR is my BBC. I might look into BBC though. As a clinical therapist it became very necessary to turn down the dial down on the negative input. Even though I no longer work in that field, I have no desire to turn up the volume. I hope you find solice in the reduction of bombardment. It’s very good to take care of yourself!
You make my world and by the looks of it so many others such a better place, thanks so much
Ilona and Gordon??? ?
This too shall pass
ok, try this: https://www.interestingshit.com/nature/good-news-stories/
Katarzyna, that was amazing and exactly what I needed right at that moment. Thank you.
Illona, your writing brings escape, comfort and laughter to people around the world. Unplugging from the constant negative news, social networking mess is a healthy choice many people are making. Know that you are a light shining in the darkness and you have helped me in particular to decompress after some seriously painful life experiences.
I have found a renewal of my heart in listening to/reading about people and their accomplishments. I follow ‘A Mighty Girl’ and ‘Humans of New York’ which both celebrate the gamut of human experience and resilience. They both remind me of how amazing people are, especially as we live our seemingly ordinary lives.
One of the things I love about your books is how you create supportive relationships between your characters. The loyalty of the Baylor family, the internal squabbling that quickly turns to protection when threatened by an outside force reminds me of my relationship with my siblings. Kate’s change from a bitter loner as she collects friends and family she trusts and defends remind me to value my good friends.
Compassion and kindness don’t get a lot of media attention, but it is more pervasive and powerful than hate and fear, sometimes we just forget to see it. Thanks for making it part of your stories, for showing how love, in many forms, makes individuals and families strong enough to face a myriad of challenges.
Well said. In fact, I’ve been binge reading and listening to your books the past few days with the TV off!
I’m younger than your father, Ilona, but I understand his point. More than 20 years ago I stopped watching TV and reading print news, because it made me so anxious – I was waking up 2 and 3 times a night with screaming nightmares – and I had a small person to take care of. I worried constantly about his future, and felt helpless to do anything about it. Several people recommended I just tune out of the news. Now the people around me know to tell me if something big has happened so I am not blind-sided. And I just do the best I can, day by day, to be a good person and to offer help when I see a need.
Also, I found this site https://www.allsides.com/ which gives several perspectives on news and political situations. I skim the headlines there a couple of times a day but don’t allow myself to read many of the articles. I hope it may be of benefit to you if you need to know what’s going on but want to avoid the drama.
But thank you, thank you, for being people that create that escape for the rest of us. I bought “Wildfire” the day it came out but I haven’t read it yet, because this has been such a shit year for me personally as well as the world at large (my dad died unexpectedly in January, right before the US effectively went up in flames) that having that escape in reserve is creating a weird safety net for me. I am waiting for a day that I feel okay to read it, so I can enjoy it, and I know that when I do it is going to make me feel like things are all right at least while I’m reading. So please know that even though we all feel helpless and frustrated, you guys really are doing something that helps.
I now track the number of books I put away in a week as a measure of how stressed I am. Two or fewer is healthy. Odds are these will not be puff books, either. If it hits 6+…. I’m having a meltdown, but don’t have the decency to tell myself. If I listen to the news in the morning, or if I get a lowlights-of-the-day from the hubby, I’m guaranteed to finish a book before I sleep that night. Despite all the chores and responsibilities and the things I have to show up for.
It’s like I no longer allow myself the privilege of thinking. I’m a journalist.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I get unplugging. And I’m grateful to you that you’ve managed to produce content despite the atmosphere this year (which I think is a good deal worse than last year because perhaps there’s more despair?). And to encourage you to not stop doing what you can.
Also.
If you need to hide, I’ll build you a nest.
My sympathies. After years of being a news junkie, I unplugged last year. It was just too tiresome listening to people screaming at one another or screaming about someone/something else. Now I only turn it on in very measured doses. I still read a lot of it on the internet, but I’m cautious about where I go, and I always skip video. For me there is less emotional reaction if I’m reading the words rather than seeing the images on video. I’m not on Twitter. I turned off the updates on Facebook after getting tired of receiving endless emails from its algorithms trying to coax me to log on to “read this update!”. We’ll survive the current state of the world. Things are crazy now, but I’m still an optimist. Best wishes and good luck with Kate #10!
Thank you for your books that take me away from the realities that I, also, am allowing to cause me to become scared, depressed, and everything in between. Whatever you have to do to keep yourselves in a place of peace , so you can share you talent with words with the world, is fine by me. 🙂 Hugs to you and Gordon.
“It’s really a wonder that I haven’t dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.”
– The Diary Of Anne Frank
I like Fox news channel. They refrain from being Chicken Littles. They report the news and make an effort to find the silver lining in things. It’s true there is a lot of bad things in the world, but there is a lot good, too. Adversity is an opportunity to grow and rise above. My father always said we choose our mood in how we choose to think. And he is right. The movie Pollyanna has a quote that if you look for the bad in humanity you will surely find it. The reverse is true as well. I have a lot of faith in God, and that gives me confidence that I can handle whatever happens. The Catholic Church has weekend spiritual retreats, some are silent retreats. I find it refreshing and it fits in my schedule.
I totally agree Ilona – I have given up watching the news but it’s difficult to ignore my phone. I’m grateful to authors like you and Gordon who have provided me with some of my favourite escapes. Someone at work asked me just yesterday why I read Fantasy (and urban fantasy) and my response was, “it’s my escape from reality”.
Thank you so much for your gift – long may it continue.
Dear Ilona,
“It’s a cruel crazy beautiful world…” -Johnny Clegg sings this well phrased verse.
It is my belief that life is the first gift God gives us and our passing is the final gift we receive on this plane. What we do with the time in between is our gift back to Him/Her.
My personal goal is to live a beautiful life. My Autistic daughter is turning 18 next month and sharing her journey has made me a better person. She inspires me and exhausts me in the same minute (I’m certain that’s a teenage thing more than an autism thing). We laugh often and binge watch comedies on Netflix in our pajamas every other Saturday. We don’t let in much that is negative, though real life sometimes tosses us flaming bags of poo. I’m sure that’s true for everyone though. In those moments, I remind myself “Not my monkeys, not my circus.” It helps to not take it personally.
To escape I read, take the occasional 3 hour art class (canvas painting, pottery painting, seasonal projects, flower arranging… whatever amuses…) It lightens the mood and is way better than the panic stricken regurgi-news that infiltrates even KLOVE.
As for feeling like the planet is boiling, this might help your perspective: I know a woman who left home at age 13. She traveled the world learning French on the streets of France, Russian in the USSR… She returned to the US and got her GED, then her PHD. They hang side by side now. She loved the people she met in her travels, they shaped her life. When asked her thoughts on world politics she replied, “It’s like they’re having an asshole contest and everybody is winning”. She said that almost 35 years ago and it still rings true today.
It is a cruel crazy beautiful world. Dodge the circus monkeys and the flaming bags of poo. Let go of any guilt for having a life you enjoy. The small things you do become the big things. And, just because you aren’t there to see the seeds you plant grow and come to fruit doesn’t mean you aren’t doing enough. Cinderella’s Fairy God-Mother said, “Even miracles take time.” and she was right. We keep planting the seeds of kindness & knowledge knowing that it is someone else’s harvest. I see it as part of our gift back to God and isn’t that a beautiful thing to do in this crazy world ?
I too have to filter how much news and media I can handle. So much of it is negative and it can really affect my health and well being. I feel a little bad that I’m not as informed as I should be, but at the same time a person can only handle so much.
In the last year I started doing random acts of kindness. It isn’t a big thing sometimes they are really small. It is something that makes be feel better about myself and I like that instead of focusing so much on me I take a moment and thing about someone else. A few things that we have done are rake the leaves in the elderly woman’s yard while she was at church, Leave a baked good in someones cubicle at work while they aren’t looking, Pay for the person behind me in a line. Compliment a complete stranger on something. Steal my niece unexpectedly for a few hours so that my sister and her husband can have ‘alone time’ together. Give a thank you card to someone with some words of appreciation. Pay for someones dinner at a restaurant (we usually pick a single parent or military). Notice what someone is lacking in their life and try to fill a need they might not even know they have. For example I have a co-worker that drank coffee every morning and used a disposable cup. I got her a cute coffee cup with a fun saying on it and just left it at her desk. Now she uses that every morning and has no idea where it came from.
I think this helps me look at the world a little bit differently. It has made my a little more aware of my surrounding and the people in them. Sure it isn’t far reaching but maybe I can help make my little corner or the world a little happier.
It’s hard to be mad, or upset when you’re scritching cat ears.
I don’t know if you’ve read any Barbara Tuchman (love her), but in her 1978 book “A Distant Mirror: The Calamitous 14th Century” she wrote of Tuchman’s Law …
Disaster is rarely as pervasive as it seems from recorded accounts. The fact of being on the record makes it appear continuous and ubiquitous whereas it is more likely to have been sporadic both in time and place. Besides, persistence of the normal is usually greater than the effect of the disturbance, as we know from our own times. After absorbing the news of today, one expects to face a world consisting entirely of strikes, crimes, power failures, broken water mains, stalled trains, school shutdowns, muggers, drug addicts, neo-Nazis, and rapists. The fact is that one can come home in the evening — on a lucky day — without having encountered more than one or two of these phenomena. This has led me to formulate Tuchman’s Law, as follows: “The fact of being reported multiplies the apparent extent of any deplorable development by five- to tenfold” (or any figure the reader would care to supply).
Yes. I live overseas, and while there are many, many reasons life is good, one of them is the insulation that comes from not being able to understand the host language and not having as easy of access to news stations. I can get on, skim headlines as needed, and get off. As a result, I stay more uninformed than some would say is wise, but my spirit stays calmer and I can teach. I have to teach, and when my soul is frothing, I can’t focus. They can’t learn. We are all miserable.
Btw, I love your dad’s wisdom. It resonates Truth.
Thank you!
I couldn’t agree with you more- that’s why I have stopped receiving a newspaper or magazine to my door. I couldn’t take the endless politics and the bad news. I also don’t follow Facebook or any news feeds. I still hear way more than I can handle from the one weather channel I check on my phone but I’m not being overloaded. The world is a scary, sad, dangerous place. I prefer to live in my bubble and try to help the people around here that I can, and send charity to the ones I can’t.
I find myself writing stories about thinly veiled current events, because I can’t think of anything else.
I feel exactly the same way… i dont have cable just to get away from it all…I just want to say that your books have definitely brought a break from reality in my life and…I don’t know where I would be without them…you are my favorite authors…just wanted to say thank you and keep them coming!