Today I bring you a news salad. First, Subway tuna might not be tuna. A lawsuit brought against Subway alleges that independent testing of filling in Subway tuna sandwiches found that not only it’s not tuna, it isn’t fish. Subway has been accused of serving not-chicken before and recently Ireland classified Subway sandwich bread as cake due to it having too much sugar.
This is true. American bread served commercially contains a buttload of sugar. Sometimes I miss the Russian round bread. I’d bring it home from the store and it still would be crusty and warm, cut myself a gorbushka – the round chunk from the side that’s all crust – and eat it with cold milk. Mmmm… Bread, yummy. I bake my own but it’s not the same.
Jason Collier is in the news and in the memes. You don’t know who he is? I will tell you. Jason Collier is the police chief of the Stinnett, Texas, Police Department, who has 2 wives and 15 girlfriends. They all found each other on Facebook and things had hit the fan. And he’s been arrested. Read more here. So if you’ve been seeing memes where women are marking themselves safe from being proposed to by Jason Collier, that’s what that is all about. Oh, and apparently he is an ordained minister. Here is the Facebook post that started all this.
Fifteen girlfriends. Here I am, desperately juggling husband, two grown children, a pet menagerie, and work, and this dude has 15 girlfriends. How?
Some people from Switzerland claimed to have solved the mystery of Dyatlov Pass. This is a hell of a story. In February of 1959, nine Russian hikers, all experienced and fit, camped in Kholat Syakhl pass in Ural mountain range. This area was historically inhabited by an indigenous group called Mansi. Linguistically they are distantly related to Hungarians.
The Mansi people call that pass Holatchahl, which means Dead Mountain, but despite the scary connotations, it just means there is no game in the pass, so there is no need to bother hunting there.
So these Russian hikers go to sleep in the pass. And they never returned. Rescue efforts were mounted and when their bodies were found, some in the snow, and some, inexplicably, in a creek in running water, it was discovered that they cut away their tents during the night and ran into the wilderness. Two of them had cracked skulls, two had crushed chest, two were missing their eyes, one was missing a tongue, and one was missing his eyebrows. Some of them stripped naked and died of hypothermia. There were no signs of an avalanche or any other reasonable natural event.
Clearly, something happened during the night. There are many theories, icnluding weird winds, wild animals, attack by Mansi (no), and UFOs. Oh and some people claim they found elevated radiation levels and weird debris at the site. You can read the Wikipedia article here.
Now, a group from Switzerland believes they found an answer to the mystery: a very small dense avalanche. Both Gordon and Jeaniene Frost have rejected this theory. They are firmly on the Yeti train. Yetis came and ate the hikers. #TeamFactsBeDamned.
I personally think the avalanche theory is iffy, but yetis are iffier. So what think you, people, avalanche or yetis?