Monday, 1 star.
Woke up on time, brushed teeth, pulled hair into a ponytail, put on work out clothes. Walked out into the living room ready to head to the elliptical. Went to get my airbuds resting in a baby Yoda case by the charging station on a side table next to the couch.
Cat vomit.
Cat vomit on everything: on the charging station, on the cords, on the small art table, on the expensive pad of the watercolor paper, on the floor, on the side table, everywhere. Only the Baby Yoda miraculously escaped. The cat vomit had dried.
There is a reason I keep disposable gloves in the house. Twenty minutes of scrubbing. Twenty minutes of cleaners and Clorox wipes and a bunch of paper towels.
It’s Salem. I don’t what the hell is wrong with that cat. She is 16 years old and in her old age she decided to projectile vomit everywhere endlessly. She has had the blood work and the X-rays and she is as healthy as a 16 year old cat can be.
I finish cleaning. I go do my 3 miles. I come back, sweaty and gross. I decide to take a shower.
I am in the bathroom doing things one does, when I notice a dark brown thing on my thigh. It takes me 0.1 second to recognize the shape even without my glasses, and then I fling it off my leg.
A scorpion. A small one, the extra poisonous size.
It doesn’t move, so it’s dead.
Why was a small dead scorpion on my leg? Did it fall out of my clothes? Did I spend 30 minutes on elliptical carrying a corpse of the scorpion somewhere on my person? I doubt it because I shake out my clothes and check my shoes.
Did it fall out of the vent in the ceiling? Did a venomous arachnid actually fall out of the vent and land on me while I was on the toilet?
I am done.
I lived most of my adult life in the South. I have no problem with giant flying cockroaches. I’ve dealt with wasps, snakes, centipedes, and fire ants. You know where my line is? My line is at the damn scorpions falling on me from the damn ceiling. That’s where it is.
Look, Texas, I like your low taxes, but that is the only thing I like about you. I am out. We are moving. I am done. I am going to find a house somewhere, preferably on a lake or at least somewhere where things don’t burn to brown straw starting in May. Somewhere without scorpions. That’s it.
Kirsten says
Agree with the one star review. Hope the rest of your week is better.
Kirsten says
I dream of living in New Orleans (I’m in Massachusetts). And then hurricane season happens. There’s always something.
I wish you all the best in the search and finding the best set of circumstances for you.
Stephanie Gasior says
The food is the best there. Man I miss New Orleans. Hurricanes are a problem though.
Victoria says
As someone who lived in FL for a long time and weathered many a Hurricane-Hurricane Season is preferable to venomous arachnids falling from the ceiling.
Also, Texas has its own natural disaster issues.
Toni says
As a New Orleans native I’d say “come on over”… but yeah, there are hurricanes.
It’s manageable depending on where you live. I’m in the French Quarter and we are almost never without electricity (first priority is the Quarter because that’s where they typically house the rescue crews). Anywhere else, you’d have to look at what flooded and when.
You really can’t beat the food here–lots of wonderful choices with loads of international flavors and cuisine to choose from, as well as our own Cajun/Creole styles.
Jeanne says
Cat has been poisoned by scorpion. Classic symptoms.
Moderator R says
No. The vomiting issue precedes the scorpion and has been happening several times a week. Vets have been consulted, as the post explains.
Stacey says
Even with the vet history, I am still hearing “My cat vomits scorpions. How’s your Monday?”
Hope tomorrow is better than today.
Oona says
+1 for my cat vomits scorpions
Heather says
The Cat who Vomits Scorpions sounds like something that belongs to either the vohlvs (sp?) or the witches of post-shift Atlanta.
Maybe it takes a specific liking to Roland somehow and keeps showing up to rub against his ankles- oh!
No, it’s like 12’ tall and knocks him over every time it gets within 50’ of him and rubs it’s face all over him like how cats scent things they’ve claimed. It’s a magic cat that follows him everywhere and he can’t stop it or hide from it for long because it just pops up out of the ether to love on him and it’s constantly puking up scorpions- only some of which are dead- in his presence.
Maybe Julie is the only person whose boundaries it will respect. And it completely freaks out Derek. Kate loves that it distract Roland from bugging her and Curran is taking way too much pleasure out of how pissy and hormonal it makes Roland.
I smell a hilarious short story here.
Laurence says
OMG, I would move too!!!
I hope your heart rate is back to normal, dark chocolate helps!
Megan says
Nebraska doesn’t have any scorpions, unfortunately we do have pretty high property taxes. Other than that it’s fairly cheap to live here, and in spite of what popular media says, we do have lakes, rock formations, waterfalls, and things other than corn. However, while our state motto is a bit tongue in cheek, it’s also very true. Nebraska’s not for everyone.
Kayeri says
Nebraska is also NOT flat, despite Hollywood trying to convince everyone of it. Interstate 80 runs up the Platte River valley, which is why people think it’s flat. Most of Nebraska is gently rolling, which is my term for it. We have loess hills in the east, the Sand Hills central, and rocky formations in the west. We have all four seasons, so yes, it gets cold in winter, but Spring and Fall are my favorite seasons as I love watching the transition.
We are hurricane proof, the only earthquake I’ve ever felt here happened down in northern Oklahoma. Severe thunderstorms/tornadoes and blizzards are the worst weather hazards. we have little wispy mosquitos rather than the huge, black blood-spatter types down in the South.
She’s right about the property taxes, but we rate high on lots of other things. In fact, Papillion, NE, I believe has made the list of best places to live a few times in the not-too-distant past. My brother-in-law says his property taxes in Austin are worse, I should point out.
::standing with Meagan:: She’s right, we’re not for everyone, but the attitude is pretty relaxed overall.
Kayeri says
And Megan, sorry for misspelling your name. I have a niece, Meagan, so that’s what my brain defaults to.
Mimi says
We’ve driven I80 east, west and back again and I like Nebraska and Iowa. Their landscapes are subtle but very pleasing.
No place is without natural hazards but scorpions? No, just NO!
Good luck to HA on the hunt for the lake house and don’t worry sbout the taxes, you get what you pay for…
Megan says
No trouble! There are too many ways to spell Megan 🙂
I appreciate the back up for Nebraska. We are so often overlooked, which is nice is some ways but frustrating in others!
Sue says
I grew up in Connecticut, spent a year in England and live on a literal island in Rhode Island but my husband I loved the year I lived in Nebraska… we still miss old mill bbq in Omaha.. nothing in the last thirty years has come close… it might not be for everyone but it is a special place!
gingko-girl says
As a native Rhode Islander who has spent my adult life living in the Intermountain West, I would KILL to live on an island in the middle of Narragansett Bay. Kinda jealous. My high school English teacher commuted in from Prudence Island every day. I know for a fact that there are no scorpions there either! ; -)
Sue says
Well it’s just Jamestown, no scorpions here or on prudence but those tics!
gingko-girl says
I love Jamestown! Ticks and all. I always take a ride to Beavertail when I visit. I’ve got a great blanket made from the wool of Jamestown sheep — I love it!
Lisacharlotte says
Another vote for Nebraska! I grew up in Los Angeles, high school in North Carolina, rest of the time moving every 3 years around the world. I’ve been here 16 years and absolutely love it, despite the taxes. It’s not for everyone (best tagline ever) but it’s definitely for me. And no scorpions…
Maggie says
HA! Never thought I’d find so many Nebraska peeps on here. I love it, too, and it’s the last place I ever expected to live. So much of it is so uninhabited – not wild, just big, and maybe used by humans, but not overwhelmed but them. It’s peaceful. Plus, Omaha is pretty neat, and the politics are a lot more amicable than other places.
Mindy says
+1 for Nebraska! It is very cold right now but yesterday we hit 70°. I will admit this has been an odd winter. I’ve lived in the middle of the state, in the panhandle (absolutely beautiful out there) and now I’m in eastern Nebraska and it is all home even considering all the differences in each area. I’ve never lived where it is flat for more than 10 miles. The only bad part is the cancer rates. And, no scorpions!
Tiffany says
Technically there are species of scorpion native to Nebraska. I saw it in the list of native insects. I can’t find it now. Sightings are rare, but striped bark scorpions are native.
I have lived in Nebraska for 16 years and haven’t seen one. However I have seen a few black widow spiders, and wolf spiders get scary big sometimes.
Karen says
Arrrgggg what a terrible way to start the week! Nothing worse than cleaning old projectile vomit. When my daughter was 16 she leaned over the top bunk and vomit everywhere…its the worst lol. I’m thankful you weren’t stung. Scorpion stings are horrible!!!
Hope the rest of your week is 5 star!
RC says
Come on over to Northern Florida, where we’re close enough to the beach but still can get down to the 30s in winter!
CharisN says
+1
Oona says
Ocala, Fl …inland and generally not menaced by hurricanes…but close to Gainesville U of F and also Jax, St. Augustine, Orlando, Tampa and clearwater beach, not to mention Crystal River, tubing down the springs…plenty o snakes but no scorpions. Would love Texas Hill country but the scorpions…just no way…
William B says
I know you had a bad experience previously in South Carolina, but the Lake Keowee area is pretty great. There are a number of gated communities at various price ranges or stand-alone lots. I live in an older established community called Keowee Key, HOA fees are around $450 a month and that gets you access to all the amenities. Here’s the link. https://www.keoweekeysc.com/
The downside is that real estate has increased significantly due to Boomers being able to work from home…anywhere. So why not work from home on the lake.
Momcat says
Sadly SC is home to at least 2 varieties of scorpion, neither considered lethal. They do pack a punch though.
William B says
I assume that they are found south or east of where I am. We have palmetto bugs, but I’ve never seen or heard of scorpions in this area.
Katherine says
Sorry but I know Clemson has them and that’s only 20ish minutes from Keowee. Greenville and Greer have them too. Nowhere I’ve lived in the midstate area had them. Charleston and Monck’s Corner both did.
William B says
Maybe the radiation ☢️ from Duke Power kills them. Seriously, if scorpions are here they are few and far between. I moved here in 2017 and as I said, I haven’t seen or heard about them. Now armadillos…
gingko-girl says
That is a truly crappy start to the week. I send anti-scorpion rays your way! Tea. Your day needs gallons and gallons of tea!
Oli says
I’m am so sorry to hear that. On the other hand please come to New York, we don’t have scorpions here. Upstate New York has beautiful lakes and did I mention No scorpions? A totally scorpion free state
Anna L says
I also have suggested upstate NY, as an ithaca denizen i fully support upstate NY
Victorria says
Western PA here—love the lakes and the rolling hills. Highly recommend!
Maxine says
Have lived my whole life in Upstate NY. Love the seasons. Can’t wait for winter to end though. If you don’t like a lot of snow I would suggest PA or Virginia. I have family in both and never heard them complain of scorpions. They have seasons and easier winters.
EverythingShines says
+1
Rochester resident here. No scorpions. Some snow, but honestly not as much as either Buffalo (great football team!) or Boston get. And oh yeah, it’s wine country, so you can take in the changing leaves while being driven around the lakes to various wine tastings. Taxes are admittedly high though.
Janet says
As a fellow Rochestarian I agree.
Dawn Page says
Also a native Rochesterian. Love it here in the Finger Lakes.wine, no scorpions. Lots ofLake front.
M F Clark says
I heard that Rochester was way ahead for this year’s Golden Snowball Award! (As a native of Syracuse, I keep up with these things, despite not having been a resident for many years.)
Rochester’s Lilac Festival is wonderful, however!! But a word to the wise: Don’t buy lilac-flavored gin.
Moderator R says
Hmmm…lilacs are my favourite flowers, I would definitely try the gin despite your warning ????
Dani says
As a former Syracusan, I too check the Golden Snowball Award. And then am thankful I now live in Raleigh, NC.
Kathy says
Hi there from Grand Island NY, near Buffalo, Syracuse yearly gets more snow than Buffalo. Get 1 blizzard over 30 years ago & thats all anyone remembers.
LOL, one year Weather Channel came to film lake effect snow & went home after a week of NO lake effect.
Ellen D says
So sorry. I feel the same way about spiders. We were invaded last year. I’ve hard charged out of the shower when I spotted one coming down from the ceiling.
Kayeri says
I would have screamed had I found a scorpion on my body and probably knocked it off and leaped away (yeah, even though I’m significantly overweight, I would have done it!) and probably crashed into something and hurt myself. I’m used to small non-threatening spiders, the box elder and stinkbugs that happen in the fall, along with occasional houseflies and ants.
I got used to cat vomit before our eldest cat got cancer. I wonder if their digestive system shifts when they get older, because she was a regular at it. She didn’t do projectile, thank goodness.
Tiffany says
Kentucky/Indiana is nice 😉
Marjorie B says
I second that. Kentucky rocks except for our senator’s.
Sue says
Well that’s a reason to get more of us to move in ig.. I love our jack Reed…
Shannon says
Let’s hope that one goes in the fall
wingednike says
I hope your week turns out better. I love where I am but it’s already on your no list. My boss is heading to Wyoming and my coworker is eyeing Nevada.
Pam says
Tennessee is good. We don’t have scorpions!
Kelticat says
But you have a pastor in the area who has been burning fantasy novels and has accused people in his congregation of being witches. Might be a little risky for a fantasy author.
CharisN says
I heard about the witches part but missed the bookbinding. Makes terrible sense though, the one follows the other.
Timill says
And in Chattanooga they have fast cheap internet courtesy of the local electric board. We’re outside Knoxville at the moment…
kommiesmom says
I am sorry you hate Texas so much. I wish you didn’t, but your feeling are yours, and I would not want you to stay where you are not happy.
I hope you find a wonderful place where you can flourish and grow in peace.
It was great fun while it lasted. At least I can still read the books…
Lee says
What a horrible start to your week. I hope things radically improve soon!
Patty says
I don’t do scorpions but in North Texas they are not as prevalent. We live by the lake so we do have spiders and neighbors have seen the occasional water moccasin which makes me worry for our dogs, especially the medium sized one. I normally don’t do the spiders but since I worked in Belize with the large tarantulas and the wolf spiders I am over the little ones, but only the little ones. I refuse to abide the larger ones, they freak me out.
I completely agree about bugs mysteriously appearing…..dead or alive….that is NOT cool, not one bit.
Anne says
Having vicarious shudders here. I would move too.
(But then, I already did; I like four seasons.)
Hope your day has gotten better.
Laura Martinez says
We had scorpions galore in El Paso, which is weird because I don’t remember scorpions being a problem in Juarez when I was a kid. I moved to El Paso as an adult, and there you have it, scorpions everywhere.
Scorpions are a pain in the butt, and the only remedy is a chancla. Seriously. Nothing else kills them. You can fumigate your house, and everything, including yourself, will be dead, and the scorpions will still be there. Vacuuming helps, but I have this picture in my mind of scorpions mating and having more little scorpions inside the vacuum bag.
Move if you can.
Moderator R says
A well applied chancla will get rid of most things 😀
Tink says
Had to look up what a chancla was, but now that I have, I can make it out in your picture.
A flip flop is, you know, floppy. Doesn’t seem like it would do the job. I’m thinking a nice big steel-toed boot is the better call.
And my brothers are encouraging me to move to Texas. ::sigh::
Laura Martinez says
We, Mexicans, call all footwear chancla when it comes to using it as an attack weapon 😉
Henry says
Tink, I was born in El Paso a long time ago. Went away for almost three decades in the Army. I retired here. Yes, there are many scorpions here, they are small, you don’t need a chancla to swat them, because a swift slap with your barefoot will smash them. Lived in NW Washington State, Alaska, along the Front Range in Colorado, Coastal California, North Carolina, Kentucky and Florida. If it wasn’t cockroaches, crickets, crabs, ticks or chiggers; it was earthquakes, hurricanes, tornados or forest fires. Small scorpions and sandstorms are easy.
Laura Martinez says
Hi Henry,
El Paso rocks. It’s a great place to live. I just didn’t like the preponderance of scorpions. Other than that, I miss it, and I miss Ciudad Juarez too, where I grew up.
Laura Martinez says
It does!
Judy Schultheis says
My condolences. That sounds like a really rough start to a week.
I do hope your house-hunting goes well.
Katie says
Yup. Sorpions suck. I lived down the road a piece from ya’al in Dripping Springs for 13 years. Low taxes are lovely. Not enough to keep me there after a scorpion dropped down on me while breast-feeding our daughter. Evil mo-fo’s. There are few more compromising positions for a woman to be in, and those little bastards know it. No amount of shaking of bedding, shoes, or clothes, nor energetic barrier projecting, or caustic herbal oil spraying keeps those evil things at bay. We moved. I wanted Minnesota. Honeybuns said he’d only go as far north as Milwaukee. So here we are. It freezes good and hard here. It froze so wonderfully hard here that I took my now 7 year old daughter skating on the river. There are no evil terrible scorpions in Wisconsin. I love this place. Scorpion free living is the only way to go. Truth.
Stacey says
This was so good that I read it out loud to my hubby!
PascalE says
Well, this makes me appreciate snow today. I’d rather have feet and feet of snow than scorpions.
Hopefully, you’ll find the perfect place for you, your family and your menagerie.
Skye says
I am also done with Texas, but not because of scorpions. As soon as I get a nice remote writing/editing job, I moving back to the Oregon Coast. Of all the places I’ve lived, I have liked it best. It’s not particularly warm in the summer, except occasionally), but I’ve decided living next to the beach trumps everything else.
Kristi says
Decades ago, I was carrying rocks to try to get a stuck truck out of the mud (southern Chile in a deserted national park, while condors circled hopefully overhead). I noticed movement and looked down to find a scorpion climbing the front of my jacket. I still remember the horror!
Hope your day gets better.
Western Virginia is really nice, but maybe too much like western NC for Gordon.
Shannon Gleich says
Amen, my sister from another mother, Amen!
Nifty says
Lake Norman, North Carolina. Come to us.
Ilona says
That’s one of our check out areas for this summer.
Anne - Books of My Heart says
YAY I chose North Carolina. I also considered New Mexico, and Oregon.
Victoria says
We ended up in North Carolina when we left Florida. I can confidently say I love it here. I still get annoyed for a few weeks in the summer with the heat, and I keep Zertec in my purse in the spring, but we get a few nice pretty days of snow, real autumn, and the mountains are just so freaking lovely.
Also you can drive so many places from here (triangle area) for a weekend trip, which is nice. Savannah, DC, Atlanta, Asheville, etc. The Ren Faire is good, car insurance isn’t bad, and we seem to have a reasonable amount of Trader Joe’s.
I hope that you enjoy your trip here, even if you don’t stay.
Toni says
A friend of mine lives in Salem, SC on one of the lakes there and absolutely loves it. She used to live near the ocean in Hilton Head, and loved that, too. She did have to evacuate once for a hurricane that went up the coast, but had no damage or issues when she got home.
I’ve visited there and thought it was a stunning place to live. If I didn’t have all my family spread out here, I’d be very very tempted to go there.
Leigh says
If you’re going to check out NC, western VA. I’m live a block from the Rappahannock River about 15 miles up from the mouth as it enters into tge Chesapeake Bay in Va. It is a happening place to be. I think you should really check out Westmoreland and Northumberland Counties on the north shore of the Northern Nevk of VA. Not developed, but big writers’ community in the area.
Oona says
Bugs in summer on the water there in the tidal areas by the bay are outrageously blood sucking! Reminded me of the outer banks esp. OTH…there are screened porches..and …no scorpions…
Melissa says
100% agree with you Ilona!!!! YUCK!!!! I could NEVER live in the south where insects and arachnids grow to huge sizes. Winter does wonders to prevent yucky monsters from growing. Good luck finding somewhere to live with far less creepy crawlies.
wont says
I can sympathize about Texas. I want out as well. Not because of scorpions, but other things. Heat being a big one. I hope your day, and your week go up from here. I could go on for a while, but I won’t.
Take care, and hugs.
Ona Jo-Ellan Bass says
Oh, wow! I feel your pain. My elderly kitty likes to hide in cupboards, refuses to move, then pees and poops right there where she is. Let’s face it: age is rarely graceful. As for the scorpion…OH MY GOODNESS! Four years ago I was bitten by a brown recluse, which was plenty bad enough. But poisonous scorpion? With that said, Missouri is pretty nice. I like it anyway. Decent soil for gardening, lots of trees, streams for fishing, lakes for boating, and some amazing parks. The weather is unpredictable, but I would say that the Show Me state has a better chance of weathering the climate change than some others. Will there be house hunting/location change posts?
Patricia Schlorke says
A few things about Missouri (I use to live south of St. Louis):
1) Be prepared to pay state taxes.
2) Be prepared to pay tax on food.
3) Be prepared for snow, sleet, ice, rain, and severe weather in the summer. It’s not quite like north Texas or Oklahoma, but Missouri does get the tornadoes.
4) Be prepared for hills. To the north of the Missouri River, it’s flat. South of the Missouri River, there are hills. To me the Hill Country in Texas are like mole hills. You want hills, southern Missouri has them since they are in the Ozarks (or in the foothills depending on where you’re at).
Otherwise, it’s beautiful scenery in Missouri.
Smmoe1997 says
I’m in South St. Louis and I like it, rest of my family moved to Central Illinois, I could never do that. The winds when they blow across the prairie are just awful. Otherwise their weather is similar to here, with a bit more cold.
The rivers are pretty here, but the flooding can be inconvenient, I’m glad I’m up on a hill. It gets hot and muggy in the summer, potential tornadoes, occasional earthquakes, freezing in the winter…but as far as I know, no scorpions!
Of course this week STL will be getting 3 of the 4 seasons. Only good thing about my Monday so far is the 60 degree and sunny day outside. My Monday hasn’t been as bad as projectile cat vomit or scorpions, so I am now counting my blessings!
Mary Johnston says
consider central North Carolina (between Charlotte and the Winston-Salem/Greensboro/High Point triad to the north). 2 hours to the beach. 2 hours to the mountains. Far enough inland so you don’t have to worry about hurricanes. (If you like big cities and don’t mind a little traffic, try Union County, to the direct east of Charlotte – lower property taxes than Charlotte, but still within 25 minutes of downtown.)
I settled here because it’s north of what I consider the ‘bug line’ – the divider between ‘regular insects’ and ‘those giant things farther south’. also, no scorpions.
Plus, barbecue (the real stuff – pig – not that brisket stuff Texans like to pass off).
Ilona says
That entire area is where we are aiming to go this summer on exploratory expedition. That and Lake Norman.
Colleen says
Greenville, SC is suppose to be amazing – Several acquaintances have moved from Atlanta to Greenville and love it. Although I don’t live there, I have traveled around the area and it is beautiful. They have a decent airport so you can come and go. Gordon is aware of how close it is to larger cities in NC, TN and GA as well as Columbia, SC and they definitely have all four seasons. They definitely have water…..lakes, streams, mountains, etc.
Katie R says
Definitely also consider Lake Gaston, which is partly in NC and partly in VA. It’s a really lovely, big lake and a nice place to be. Of course, I haven’t been there in decades, but my memories are sweet and the Zillow pics are promising.
Keera says
We live in the coast of NC right now but my son is at Nascar Tech in Mooresville. He has explored a lot of the area and likes Lake Norman and that he isnt in Charlotte but close to it and close enough to Raleigh/Durham as well. I have a feeling once he is finished with school he may stay there if he finds a job that can pay his rent as a young adult fresh out of school.
jewelwing says
NC BBQ is my absolute favorite.
The Greenville SC area is pretty decent from what I’ve seen passing through. I have a sister in Aiken, a little closer to the GA border. It’s pretty nice there except for the real hot summer weather, which is probably no worse than Texas.
Lisa Lenox says
Move to north Alabama. Still has fairly low taxes, beautiful landscape, friendly people.
Molly says
In Southern Maine we have no scorpions, great restaurants, a lovely ocean and easy access to mountains. The spiders are all smaller than your hand. The closest thing we have to scorpions is lobster and they are delicious in mac and cheese.
Deidre Spruce says
Sorry about the scorpion. They freak me out too. Been stung once and lived through it but didn’t want to at the time. Cat vomit, been there done that. Probiotics helped my 15 year old if you haven’t tried that. She still got hairballs but they were an easy clean up.
Martha L says
I grew up in NYC, and if anyone had every told me I’d like living in Ohio, I would never have believed them. I’m building a house in Apple Valley, a lakefront community near Mt. Vernon, Ohio. It’s on the edge of Amish country and very lovely. The property in Knox County are low, and the people are very nice. The HOA are pay as you go. For under $400/year you get to use the 3 beaches If you want to use the 2 indoor facilities and the one indoor and one outdoor pool, the marina or the lake you pay extra. There is also a dog park, a hiking trail through the woods and many clubs to join if you want to be social.
It does snow in the winter, but it is not in the snow belt (i.e., Cleveland). So, while you get your four seasons, winter is mostly just cold. You just bundle up, go from your warm house to your warm car, to the warm store, back to your warm car, etc. It is not bad for three months out of 12. Today in February the high is 48 degrees F. We never go above the 90s in the summer. And I have NEVER seen a poisonous spider.
We must make sure to take care of our favorite authors.
Martha L says
I tried to say the property taxes in Knox County are low, but my brain got ahead of my fingers.
Cynthia in Columbus Ohio says
Just last year I thanked my mom for staying in Ohio. No volcanoes, no hurricanes, no wild fires, no earthquakes, and now I’m adding no scorpions, no alligators, no lizards, no large snakes! We have the hocking Hills, Lake Erie, and Bogie and Becall loved it so much, they got married here! Shhhhhh! Its our little secret!
Dawn says
I live in Phoenix and love it – an hour north and you have all four seasons – there are lakes less than an hour away and no tornados or hurricanes – plus 5 hours from Las Vegas, San Diego and the Pacific Ocean
Mary says
However, there are scorpions (look up Arizona Bark scorpion) and black widows. And I have blistered my hand on the steering wheel of a car left outside in the summer.
Kathryn Shaklee says
Ilona.
You are not alone. My tuxedo cat Shadow is 16 & yes he throws up on the living room rug. He can be on the back porch & will run into the house to upchuck on the rug. A $350 vet bill later, he is fine, No thyroid, kidney or liver problems. No diabetes etc. He’s healthy but at that age a lot of cats get sensitive tummys. Vet had me change food to a sensitive stomach brand (I used Purina One) & give him 4 small meals a day. It has helped. he not longer throws up every day.
As for scorpions I can’t help as I live in the North East, but have lots of snow so lots of “bug” don’t survive. When we lived in Colorado it was grizzlies, think thats worse.
Hope your week gets better.
Can’t wait for Ruby & love reading Sweep serial.
Take care
April White says
I’m sorry that your day is off to such a rough start. I completely agree with the one star review. ????
The areas around Greers Ferry Lake and Bull Shoals Lake in Arkansas are beautiful and don’t have scorpions that fall from the ceiling. It does occasionally turn all brown and crispy in August or so but usually perks back up into the gorgeous fall colors of the Ozarks. Eden Isle and Fairfield Bay on Greers Ferry might be communities you would be particularly interested in, and there are also several on Bull Shoals as well… There are actually a lot of celebrity homes on Eden Isle.
KellyPW says
Come to the PNW! No scorpions. Just giant banana slugs 🙂
Dstrangeone says
I live in the Pacific Northwest and I love it, but I love rain. You have to like gray days to survive PNW for very long. Of course I also live right next to the ocean where the Puget Sound merges into the Salish Sea, so we also get high winds all winter. But I like the wind storms too. Try to decide what negatives you can cope with since you already know what you like. Maybe that could help narrow down the search.
Another Megan says
The inland northwest in Washington (Patty Briggs/Mercy Thompson territory) is low rainfall. It gets cold, too, so homes remain mercifully free of scorpions. If you are at the northern end, there are trees. The southern is sage brush and wide open skies. It’s nice.
Also – no state income tax but there are property taxes and (non-food) taxes on consumer goods. The rivers and mountains are pretty much free (no HOA fees). It’s less expensive than the west side of Washington but, like everywhere, housing prices are up.
Ileana says
PNW!
I live in the Olympic Peninsula where there is no Lyme Disease or Heartworm! There are spiders but we have a company spray every 6 months so no spiders in the house. The Hood Canal is gorgeous, as are the many lakes, streams, rivers, and waterfalls in the area. Yes, it rains for days at a time and the slugs make me angry when they eat my plants. Sigh. There’s always something negative about any place. Once the rains end this is heaven on Earth.
Sandra Madsen says
What company sprays for spiders for you? I’m in Olympia, and I spray my bedding every day with peppermint spray after waking up for the 3rd time this winter with a spider crawling on me. It seems to work, but I’d prefer not to have my bedroom smell like toothpaste.
Tammy says
Do you know the real reason it’s so expensive to live in San Francisco? No bugs…rats, yes but no bugs.
Kris says
We’ll miss you, but I completely understand. I’m out as soon as circumstances permit. May your day get better.
April White says
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.trulia.com%2Fpictures%2Fthumbs_3%2Fzillowstatic%2Ffp%2F31d0050f684d9df148de02f3102a25d7-full.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.trulia.com%2FAR%2FHeber_Springs%2C112249%2CEden_Isle%2F&tbnid=6oBmNPA44SycoM&vet=12ahUKEwjHh5fWppH2AhUfg2oFHaB7DsMQMygPegUIARDWAQ..i&docid=irykOsd_WJ-wZM&w=320&h=240&q=Eden%20isle%20greers%20ferry%20lake&ved=2ahUKEwjHh5fWppH2AhUfg2oFHaB7DsMQMygPegUIARDWAQ
Sorry! Posted the wrong link above.
Peggy says
I feel the same way about Texas – – But I married a sailor from Texas 49 years ago. We are still here. But the heat of the past couple summers is starting to soften up his attitude and at least this year we’re going to spend July August and part of September somewhere cool. FYI – no scorpions in Arlington Texas that I’ve ever seen.
CharisN says
Maine is nice for those months. Lovely and green and bright fresh air on the coast. (My only experience)
Jenn says
Aw I am so sorry for this bad review of a Monday!!
I personally could not live in Texas. When I was young we lived in Florida for a few years and I remember my mother fighting poisonous nature with cyanide pellets …trying to protect 3 kids abs the dogs from fire ants, toads, the snakes…
I live on the north shore Massachusetts… I don’t know if you’d like our winters, but we have normal weather, it’s geologically stable, and no real dangerous wildlife like scorpions …sure there are some things but not like that.
Best to you guys and sweet Salem…
Roxann says
So, not sure this is appropriate, but my cat did that. I learned to just put enough food in his bowl to cover the bottom, that cut most of it out. He still occasionally vomits, but not like before. Of course, you have more than the one cat, so that might not work.
Cassandra says
I’m in Houston and I feel ya. Also looking around for a good change of place. The summers, traffic, and guns are getting to me.
Go where you’ll be happy!
Irishmadchen says
Yup, N. Texas chiming in. Not sure which of the two sucked worse as both cat vomit and scorpions suck. Was cleaning the other day and found a dead scorpion in the kitchen as there’s an outside door there. Rotten little bastards. However, I stay in Texas for the heat and, like you, the taxes. Although the latest round of craziness has made me question my logic.
I hope the day has gotten better. If you move on, may you find what you’re looking for. I know you like Florida, but I will take scorpions over flying Palmetto bugs. Shudder, you can hear those giant cockroaches walking.
Maya says
That’s horrifying!!! ????????
I hope you quickly find a new place away from the scorpions.
LBHG says
I really like your living by a lake idea! My husband and I are looking around for a house on a lake too, we rent an Airbnb or VRBO for a month in different areas/states. We’ve been to Lakes in North Carolina, South Carolina and Georgia. We do a month to get the vibe of the area and its been terrific. Good Luck
Katherine says
Can’t say I blame you.
jasmine scott says
Well I’d recommend Canada, but you might not like all the cold. Of course there are no venomous anything here. Cause it’s too cold. As well as having a ton of lakes. If you really want to live somewhere beautiful. I’d recommend Nova Scotia. The pictures of it are gorgeous.????????
Another option would be Ireland. That places looks awesome. If I didn’t enjoy living in Canada, so much. I’d move there.????
Deborah says
Lived lots of places. Grew up in Florida, both central and southern. Too much mildew in south Florida. Massachusetts is wonderful, but property is expensive and winters are cold. Chicago is great, too, but same issues as Massachusetts. Have visited Nova Scotia and thought it was gorgeous. Visited Charlotte and Lake Norman NC. They are really pretty and the climate is nicer than the north. California has its charms, but is going to get worse with climate change. Best of luck whatever you decide.
Shiloh Gibson says
Come to the Dark Side (aka Florida). The only thing that’s likely to fall on you are iguanas, and that’s only for the 5 days of winter Florida gets. We have cookies (from Publix).
Becky says
Publix cookies are good. As is their Key Lime pie.
Bookworm says
That sounds awful – and I can’t deal with any of the stuff you can deal with. Come back to the PNW – Seattle and the surrounding areas is lovely!!
Bibliovore says
first location filter: http://www.venombyte.com/venom/scorpions/venomous_scorpions_by_state.asp
The rest you will need to filter out yourself. Good Luck.
Regarding cat vomit: I sometimes get that if my cat eats too fast or too much.
Maybe easier to clean while wet, but no fun to step in.
Hopefully your week can only improve.
Katy says
MN does not have low taxes but our winters mean no scorpions or cockroaches. Plenty of lakes, rivers or streams to choose from.
MicheleMN says
+1 Plus southeastern Minnesota has fewer mosquitos, due to the moving waters of the lovely riverways. We also rarely see any venomous snakes, except along the banks of the Mississippi river (barge hitch-hikers). Lots of good outdoors fun, arts & culture, plus Mayo clinic nearby.
Emilyh07 says
How about Florence Oregon along the beautiful Oregon Coast. Or any town along the Coast.
We have property taxes, but no sales tax. We do get a lot of rain, but clean air, lots of trees and mountains, the Siuslaw River and the beautiful Ocean. Considered rural with around 9,000 people (14,000 in the extended area), and Eugene for extra shopping just 50 miles away. The temperatures are moderate, since we are on the Coast, so no extreme highs and no extreme lows. And no scorpions.
It could be worth a look if those things sound like you might like them. You can’t beat the beauty of the Oregon Coast.
Cheryl M says
Not the way to start things. Lots and lots empathetic thoughts your way. Good fortune finding a new place, and convincing Gordon to move.
Kat in FL says
Are you thinking of moving to Florida? I think I remember reading that y’all lived in FL before and were considering moving back?
I’m from Ohio and moved to Florida almost 4 years ago to get away from the cold/snow/ice. There are many things I don’t like, but also many that I do.
Debbie B. says
We have an elderly cat also, that I feed Senior Friskies pate, Chicken(preferred), or Beef, never Minced in this brand. It keeps her episodes reduced. I have read this article, that may/not help for your poor kitty: https://everlast.mercolamarket.com/r/?id=h53f1b694,2f5d8eb2,2fc8a0e4&mid=DM1108801&rid=1408349844&p1=20eb129a49ecaeec2b4f43aecdfde3d172f99bcbc4b2a2310e0d6185977cf92a&p2=20120426
Kechara says
I like Ontario. We do have real winters though. Rarely in the odd place I hear there are Massasagua rattlers. But nothing else venomous
Maria Schneider says
Plus 100 for not getting stung, dead or alive. Florida has somewhat low taxes. NM has very low taxes, but has four season and er, well. We do have scorpions. So we’re out.
We had an older cat like Salem. Got quite pukey in her old age. I wish I had some advice. We tried mineral oil, different foods and it’s possible the food helped a little. Basically not using the dry food they make for urinary tract (They change the pH). That and feeding more wet food (not urinary tract). But it isn’t like it went away.
Let me know if you make a visit to NM. You know to scout around or sign books or anything…
Krista says
Yes, NM does have some scorpions, but they don’t like high altitudes, which my husband says is at least 6,000 feet. We’re at 7,000 feet and have never seen one. High altitude also helps smooth temperature swings in summer and winter.
We moved here for the lower taxes, and were pleasantly surprised that my husband’s allergies are much better here in northern NM than any other place he’s lived. For that, I can live with junipers, cacti, and desert grasses instead of lots of green growing things. The south’s nut orchards are terrible for him.
Not many lakes in NM, but there are reservoirs. And if you want out of Texas, NM would be a shorter move than heading east.
Judy says
GREAT Monday review!!!!
Aimee says
I will never live in Florida again for the same reasons. I truly feel your pain.
Mary Beth says
Ticks are my hard line. We live in a woodland, and can’t escape them. Black Widows are the other, along with Brown Recluse–though those are easy to avoid.
After years of researching how best to handle them, Hubby brought home chickens.
Haven’t had a tick problem since.
It’s always gonna be something.
Hope the rest of your week is much better.
Oh, maybe try anti nausea meds for kitty? Ours had the same problem, those helped a while.
Dee says
I love it here and dont want to move but Id burn the house down with that scorpion inside.
Amy R says
Oh no.
Has Salem developed food allergies? I only ask because a friend’s kitty decided becoming allergic to practically everything her other kitties loved was the way to be. And discovering the issue involved lots o vomit. ????
I personally spend waaaay too much time looking at houses in Nevada. Cuz I am so over winter weather.
Becky says
Pretty sure the review should be “negative all the stars, would not recommend”. Yeah, I’ll take the occasional huge ass waterbug (no. it’s a roach people, quit trying to sugar coat it) in my house over the “extra poisonous” scorpions. YEEK!
Robin says
We went from Fort Worth, Texas to Florence, Alabama when we decided to finish retiring. It is a small University town of about 60,000.
Yes, there is a small state income tax in Alabama. We found the trade well worth it. Our property taxes went from over $10,000 per year in Texas to under $1,000 per year on more house. The State income tax costs us about $1,900 per year. That is a savings of about $8,000 per year to move to a state With an income tax.
Home and auto insurance costs have gone down as well. House prices have gone up here too, but pop over to Zillow or realtor.com and see what’s available in your price range for the happy side of sticker shock.
I do need to strongly suggest that you not move out until you’ve verified that it will not adversely affect the the cost of Kid 1 and Kid 2 finishing their education in Texas. If it will cause them “Out of State” tuition fees, can you afford to move before they’re done?
My husband is initially from this area. I am an East Coast girl. The money goes so much farther here it was an amazing transition. My new friends here include a Culinary Institute of America chef, her husband who retired as head of the English Department at the local college, and many other cultured and educated folk. You will not need to hear strains of Banjo music in your head as you enter town.
Oh, and the next door neighbors? Part of the family that owns BooksaMillion.
RondaG says
Left Texas for Virginia, and I’m very happy. Mountains. Lakes. Rivers. Trees. Only a little bit of snow (a little more this year). Ocean not too far away. It even felt less hot than Texas last year! Very happy.
Taylor says
What a start to your week! My kitty vomits a lot too and we have them on probiotics, which seems to be helping them.
Chelsea says
My cat does that, he’s only 5 years old and they diagnosed him with IBS. All lab work comes back perfectly fine on him too but it definitely sucks to deal with all the cat vomit. East Texas doesn’t have any scorpions that I’ve ever seen. Also there’s actual trees and pretty lakes ????
Anna L says
I really recommend the upstate NY fingerlakes region. No scorpions, awesome lakes, wineries, and with climate change the winters are getting milder. Im a big fan of ithaca but penn yann around keuka lake is also great
Rowena says
EXACTLY!!! I am a few miles north east of you, on the Mohawk. I tried to tell them in my comment.
Kayeri says
I visited Lake Seneca for about 10 days a long time ago. It was beautiful! Just very UP and DOWN! =)
Nancy says
As a fellow transplant to Austin, I agree – it’s time to go. Looking for places as I type.
Vonnie says
I had a moment like that in Baltimore, with mice in the house. I think the complex was at least a century old. In the winter, the mice came through the narrowest spaces between the pipes and walls. I was trying to discourage them, humane trap them. Then I found mouse poop behind my pillow. Done. Finished. Within a month I was moving back to DC, sucking up a forty minute commute.
CharisN says
That would do it for me!
Ugh.
Melissa Chapman says
Yikes. That sounds like a morning that would stress anyone out. I remember starting my morning once with cat vomit all over my work laptop. Luckily the lid was closed. But….ya. we have 6 cats, and I recently had to clean up vomit no less than 4 times one morning. The next one an hour later, I yelled “Not It!”
I feel your done ness. We just moved from AZ to FL. I hate the desert.i hate scorpions, and tarantulas and dust/dirt/rocks/spikey cacti everywhere. I hope you find your happy place. ❤️
Marcia says
OMG, I don’t blame you! I live in Florida and had a day like that last week. I was take out the trash and a 4 foot snake is in my yard. I HATE snakes!!! I have to wait for husband to get home to kill it. I go in and sit in the family room and staring in the windows is an Iguana on my neighbor’s roof. I am not afraid of them, but their are just nasty! The world’s worst poop.
Audra Carr says
I hear ya, live in Arizona…been stung 6 times. I hate those things. Once pulled one of my sons pants (he was 6 months old) because it looked like string and found out our home was infested with them. Of course we lived on the side of a mountain, needless to say we Put up a for sale sign that week.
Furrykids Mom says
Have you tried an elimination diet? We had a cat a little younger than yours. Odd symptoms – fall down seizure, spin on her side while “fountaining” urine. Tests including an MRI showed nothing. Finally tried hydrolyzed protein followed by months of elimination to learn it was beef and chicken. Remove those and no more fountains.
Fast forward, two randomly throwing up fur children. Both allergic to beef. One also allergic to chicken.
Marie S says
Oh my goodness. Too much on a Monday morning. I feel for you. I couldn’t live a life with scorpions I feel. I hope Salem isn’t ailing of something not caught by the vet.
Big hug.
Bill G says
Mmm, yeah; airborne scorpions attacking are a bit over the top.
Mary Cruickshank Peed says
And venomous arachnids are why I love where the air hurts your face several months of the year. Yes, we are expecting 1-3 feet of snow in the next 48 hours. I don’t care.
My house is warm, I have food. I have a couple of sunshine lights and a whole pile of YouTube videos on how to draw (because I want to draw a tree for a thing for a friend who is having … never mind. I want to learn to draw tree.)
When the snow is done on Wednesday I’ll forgo my treadmill and will shovel the steps and my friendly neighborhood plow guy will come by and move the rest of the snow and there will never, ever, be anything venomous in my freaking house, no matter how scary wood spiders look…they won’t kill me (and my cats will happily hunt them).
Sometimes I think about becoming a snowbird. Then the universe reminds me why I live where the snow is up to your ass. It’s so scorpions don’t fall on me from the ceiling.
Have fun finding your own place that has things you can live with that won’t kill you.
Lee says
Ashville
Joy says
I’m a third generation Texan but have lived all over the place for the last decades–not in Texas. In my elderly years I’ve discovered the following truths….warm winters equals bugs, coastlines mean storms and northern areas mean snow/sleet/ice. If it is beautiful everyone wants to live there and it becomes expensive.
You pick your place and put up with it OR you have a summer/winter home and the upkeep of two homes OR you move a lot looking for paradise. The bugs/sand/storms/cold/heat/costs are just part of what we all have to contend with.
Kira says
I’m north of Houston, no scorpions. A friend of mine lives west of Houston and has the drier, more scorpion friendly climate like San Antonio. We east Texans definitely rank high in cockroach population, they outnumber the puny humans … but, though I’m an Entomologist, I hadn’t realized how well males could fly (knowledge updated after chasing one around the house last year).
I’ve been to every state in the US, and except for climate and terrain variability, we have such homogenous environs these days. Cities consistently disappoint me.
I’ve been watching videos from a bike rider in the Netherlands. I want to go visit their version of old style, pre-suburban nightmare developments.
Aman Sidhu says
Vancouver island is the place to be! A bit cold in the winter months perhaps but we’ve learned how to cope with indoor heating and warm and cozy fireplaces and wood stoves. It’s beautiful, rugged, and wild. All you would have to deal with are spiders and slugs. They are rarely, if ever, poisonous ????. I live on the mainland but visit every chance I get.
LMH says
May I recommend Bend Oregon? Sunny, 4 seasons, really nice town. No scorpions.
Emily says
we were so excited for our summer trip to Bend but it was wildfire season and the air quality was too hazardous to go out of doors.
Olivia says
Oh my goodness!! I feel for you. Not enough but that’s all I got. Here’s hoping you guys find the perfect place for you that has never seen a scorpion in its entire existence.
Kyoko M says
MY GOD. The noise I made when you said scorpion. NO. Just no. That has been among my worst nightmares ever since as a kid, I read this book of nightmare deaths and near misses and many of them mentioned scorpions hiding in your shoes or in your slippers. I agree. Today gets 0 stars. Very glad you’re alright.
Patricia Schlorke says
No recommendations as to hopeful moving prospects. I figured you will have enough recommendations to last a life time.
Scorpions…I’m with you on that. When I lived in Tulsa, I found young scorpions in my bathroom. I would throw a towel over them, and kindly run them out the door, and fling the towel away from me to get them on the ground. Scared the crap out of me a few times.
To quote the Mammas and the Pappas “Monday, Monday, can’t trust that day….”
Hopefully the rest of the week won’t be like today. 🙂
Quickbeam says
Just an FYI. I know it is cold but WI has no scorpions, alligators, armadillos or termites to speak of. Lots of water. Cold. Nice summers.
Jazzlet says
What’s wrong with armadillos? Genuine qestion, living in the Uk I have no idea what would be wrong with them, especially compared to the other beasts you mention.
E says
leprosy (Hansen’s disease)
Jazzlet says
Thanks!
akk says
yah, but you need to wrestle them to catch it 🙂 – not all that transmissible
Nona Theriot says
I have an Uncle who lives in San Antonio. He was peacefully reclining on his bed and a scorpion fell on his stomach from the ceiling. Once he calmed down from his epic flailing fit he tried to see where it came from and never could. He shares your pain.
Valerie says
Glad you weren’t bitten. Definitely a 1 star start. Hope your day improves!
Kris says
I took a break from Texas for 4 yrs, but moved back last April and honey….after 4 yrs of no bugs to speak of…I was horrified!!! The scorpion in my tub was the catalyst for the exterminator. Took 6 months, but now all I have to worry about are army worms eating my grass. And hail. And tornadoes. And mosquitoes. And drought. Ok… there’s a lot. But hey, I’m close to family! Hang in there!
Wendy says
Monday at it’s worse. I guess you are moving to Florida now?
Renee says
Lol you’re posts always make me laugh.
As far as the cat, I know from experience about projectile vomiting from a cat- so not fun. What I have found that helps is mixing a pro-biotic in their food. My projectile puker was a cat with thyroid disease. Once I started her on the pro-biotic she decreased the amount of times she would vomit considerably. We have another cat with IBC. Nothing the vets gave us helped. About every 3-4 weeks it would act up again. Now we only have to deal with it about once every 6 months. Also, the additive Carrageenan in cat food can cause stomach upset.
Hope kitty feels better – and you don’t find anymore scorpions.
Terrie C says
I know the “I am done” feelng. The last 360 degree spin, on ice, into an intersection. Thank goodness the street was empty, but not going to this ever again. Moved to PHX
CharisN says
Ooo I did that once but it was light rain and a greasy intersection with bad tires.
Nothing in the world like hitting the brakes and nothing happens.
Fancy W. says
Honey, come on up here to Louisiana! We got everything – except scorpions!
We got woods, farmland, beach, just all the scenic views; the best food in the country,the sweetest people God put on the Earth, and best of all: no scorpions!
Of course, we do have mosquitoes big enough to carry off your car with you in it, but that’s a minor detail. Hey, did I mention no scorpions?!
Kayeri says
I have experienced what you Louisianans say are mosquitoes. My Louisianan husband introduced me to them at the Creole Nature Trail near Lake Charles. They liked me way too much and I immediately understood why he was wearing a long-sleeved shirt in hot, soupy weather. Nope, nope, nope, those are not mosquitoes, they are like a horrific mutated swamp skeeter. We have mosquitoes in Nebraska, they are little, tiny wispy things and if you smack one, it doesn’t leave a blood smear… ::shudder:: I think they got less than a pint while I was there, but we didn’t stay long… lol!!!
Jaime says
For my sake, come to Kansas! For your sakes, don’t come to Kansas! ????
CharisN says
Lol! ☺
Debi Ennis Binder says
We’ve lived in Tijeras, New Mexico for about a year and a half now. So far, no scorpions. Only unusually long centipedes I fight to get to before the cats do. But only two of those so far. Coyotes, rabbits, raccoons, bobcats, lots of birds. Bugs, not so much. I was raised in the south for the most part, so I get the bugs. But those centipedes… hairy worms on steroids. Shiver.
Rowena says
That is why I love the NorthEast where I live in the Mohawk valley of NY. Low taxes and housing compared to the rest of the state, Catskill Mountains to the South and Adirondack Mountains to the North, Lakes! , Too far to the east to get the Lake effect, Too Far to the West and inland to get most of the storms that come across the US or up the coast.
Yes, we get a couple of months of snow, but that means a few months without any bugs, and it keeps them down the rest of the year. The power may go out, but unless you live in the country – we have a LOT of farms, especially Amish farms by us – it isn’t out for more than a couple of hours, a day if it was a huge and windy storm, but I can’t remember that happening in the last couple of decades. We know it will happen, and overprepare about how to fix things.
No fire ants, no scorpions – we walk around barefoot or in flipflops a lot.
NO hurricanes, maybe a small tornado once ever few years somewhere in the whole Northeast, but usually by the coast – there has never been one around here.
Earthquakes do happen every few years, but so small that no one that doesn’t have equipment set up can tell.
Flooding by the rivers does happen once in a while – people who buy houses at water level get hit no matter what state they live in.
Oh, and in the village I live and the rest of the place, you can buy a REALLY nice house for $100,000. Mine cost $48,000, but it had been a rental and has taken some repairs, with the usual problems with an old (1830s) house.
Go live in Texas? NO! Some friends and I just got a very old friend out of there and living up here with us.
Allison says
Definitely no scorpions in Minnesota!
Diana Rivis says
Sending positive vibes for the rest of the week to be better!
April Guyton says
Living in the south, I never thought I would come across a scorpion. And while I was working at a girl scout camp one year, I went to sleep and woke up with a scorpion on my chest. It took someone waking up about whatever time later to recognize what’s going on. They go get the camp counselor while this thing is crawling closer to my face. She grabs a pillow case, snatches the thing from my chest, ties it up and throws it over the mountain. After that? I quit.
Lory says
Hi guys, about your cat… I just saw this Dr on YouTube that fixes cats and dogs by feeding them what they would be eating in the wild. He even developed his own food line . Dr. Marty Goldstein if you want to look it up. As far as your other problem, I live in Ohio and not too much bad happens here as far as weather. Other wise it’s pretty boring. That is why I desperately wait for your books.
Wishing you well in solving your dilemmas. Lory
Magdalen Braden says
My sympathies. It could have been worse: the cat could have vomited while you were on the elliptical. (I know from experience: I was doing an hour-long program when the dog came upstairs and peed on the rug in front of me. We now have to “babysit” the dog so that she’s not alone in case she needs to go outside. Cushing’s Disease + old dog = lots of peeing.)
I’ll put a plug in for New England. We’re in Vermont: high taxes but it’s gorgeous and no billboards. (Also: no scorpions.) New Hampshire has lower taxes.
Nancy Weaver says
I rent a house in Texas for the Round Top Antique Shows three times a year. Above the bed where I sleep there is a dome light fixture with a scorpion frozen in death residing in it . I have spent countless evenings contemplating it. How the heck?
Keera says
I was rolling with you with the cat vomit. Sometimes our pets just like to mess with us. Then you said ???? carcass on you leg, falling out of the roof and my heart rate went through the roof.
I grew up in the Caribbean where our house had ventilation blocks to let hot air out. Basically opening everywhere and Ive never had bug issues like I do now in living in North Carolina. We had ants, flies, mosquitoes growing up in Trinidad. Here in NC its roaches, junebugs, spiders snakes, fire ants everywhere bith in and out of the house.
Hubby is retiring from the military and we are going to NJ where my mom migrated too and his mom lives. At least they have real winters there and I can have a break from the bug/animal invasions.
If you guys are moving after you have calmed down. Good luck, I’m not looking forward to ours.
Sam says
Oh my goodness! I would’ve been slipping and sliding (and screaming) trying to get out of the shower as fast as I could. I would move too, and let the scorpions have the house, smh.
Rachel says
We vacationed in Sturgeon Bay, WI (and the rest of the island/peninsula). I want to move there. waters of green Bay on one side and the great lake on the other side, super nice weather. But lots of snow.
Tori says
We live further south, in Corpus Christi.
Pros: zero scorpions. I do not know why. I have never seen one, and neither has my husband who has lived in the area his whole life.
Vicinity to the beach.
Relatively cheap land/houses, even compared with other parts of Texas.
No traffic. 20 minutes or less will get you anywhere.
Good food.
An actual airport.
Cons: all the mosquitoes. All of them.
Still get the giant flying roaches in the few trees-y areas.
Trees usually thin on the ground, literally.
It is so so so hot. And then there is Summer.
It is a small city, so less city-life things to do.
It is far from everything. The nearest other metro area is San Antonio 2 hours away. Austin is around 4 hours away.
But! If you want Texas with 90% less poisonous wildlife coming at you, Corpus Christi is worth looking at.
KC says
Find a home that makes you and hubs happy. ♡
But there’s areas in Texas where you’ll never see scorpions. Central Texas is bad with them in clustered spots, and I believe yall are in that area. Especially areas where you have combinations of woods, woodpiles, caves and/or rocks. And there are limestone caves peppered through Central Texas especially by the river, creeks and aquifers.
North Central Texas around DFW, not so much. I’ve never seen one in my 30 years of living up here. I’ve only ever seen them when I’ve been out in Western areas of the state, or in that region around Austin.
But yes bugs on you in bathroom definitely equals 1 star.
Bev says
Western Maryland is pretty. My grandparents lived in Oakland and we would visit every year. Deep Creek Lake is nearby as well as state parks. Haven’t been there in decades though.
Katelin says
Been dealing with dog diarrhea all weekend. It’s terrible. They go to the vet today.
I will say, Florida does not have scorpions. There’s a plus.
Robin says
When we lived in Tampa and the surrounding communities we had scorpions in Florida, and armadillos with leprosy, all the spiders an entomologist would ever want, poisonous snakes, a strong population or militant grey panthers driving their ,60s and ‘70s land barges even if they couldn’t see as far as the hood ornament, and dreadful schools because the folks who commuted with the weather couldn’t see any point in paying for local schools or infrastructure when their children and grandchildren all still lived up north somewhere.
My grandmother was in Jupiter, Florida and her neighbor found a live alligator in the screened in pool enclosure (Florida room) the same week grandma found a coral snake in the garage. Too much wildlife for me!!!
Melisande says
That is a rotten, rotten start to a week. Having traveled or lived many places in the US, I can recommend Western PA. Great culture, good food, mild winters, low tornado incidence and spectacular scenery.
Midwest has humidity and tornados as a minus on the wide open scenery.
Northern Tier you need to be very Philosophical about snow, duration and depth of, and the bomber sized mosquitos that turn up in the short summer with the rains.
Western PA has been my favorite so far, plus it’s really accessible for travel and the Universities out here are top notch.
Good luck!!!!
Jennifer says
I hope your week improves! I feel ya on the cat vomit. We had an old cat that threw up all the time for no reason at all. I kept stepping in it while wearing socks, which is just the worst. I feel bad for laughing at the scorpion, but I can just feel the exasperation and sheer “doneness” you feel for your current location. I would be out too, for sure. I think the scorpions all over the screen door would have been it for me. Kudos to you for sticking around this long! Best of luck in your house-hunting! And thank you for your wonderful stories
Jacky B says
MN is where it’s at! We are the land of 10,000 lakes with no scorpions. We DO have mosquitos the size of humingbirds and brutal winters, BUT it’s still lovely here. I say move here and then winter elsewhere!
Jacky B says
Also forgot to add that I’m sorry about the kitty vomit. I’ve had my share of dog vomit and it’s never fun!!
Andi says
I’m sorry about Salem, we have had the same issue with our senior boy. Kitty probiotics really help. We sprinkle it on his wet food every morning. The vomit every stopped. We ran out during the pandemic and couldn’t get it for a couple weeks. Kitty vomit everywhere again. Needless to say we keep a back up now. I think you can get it at per RX or at chewy. Sorry I can’t help with the scorpions though.
Mary says
Oh how I feel you on this one! I grew up in the Hill Country and have found scorpions inside my clothes and shoes, and the pain is real when they strike–repeatedly mind you. Soon after we built out house my new-to-TX husband had one fall out of the ceiling fan above the bed in the middle of the night. I woke to his, “What the he!!–something bit me” and I rolled out the other side, lickity split, screeching, “Scorpion, scorpion, scorpion!” He proceeded to argue, explaining he was under the sheet at the time. I cowered on the other side of the room, and he muttered his way through flipping back the bedding. Sure enough. Scorpion.
We have a house, land, inheritance, lifelong friends there and where are we? Tennessee at the moment. We’ve spent two decades away, coming home to visit aging parents and are now down to one. I don’t know what we will do, but I have the same vision you do on a different timeline.
I don’t know if I can ever pull the Permanent Move trigger, not with kiddos spread throughout central TX. But, I dream.
SO glad yours was dead!
Jessica G. says
Awwww….as a fellow Texan I love claiming y’all! Well, I suppose it lasted longer than I expected. Best of luck finding your lakeside paradise. You deserve it.
melissa says
What a morning! You deserve a cocktail and a nap! I recommend Tennessee. Beautiful and peaceful spaces. No income tax. We don’t have scorpions falling from the ceiling. Maybe a brown recluse from under the house on occasion? But unless the cat doesn’t make the move with you, you’re stuck with the vomit. Nothing will get you out of bed at night faster than hearing your pet start horking up the dinner.
Elise says
Good grief that’s just wrong.
Cindy says
If you’re leaving Texas, Michigan is lovely, as long as you don’t mind snow and ice for a part of the year – more in the western & northern counties, less in the southern/eastern counties. Lots of green. Lots of rivers, and streams, and forests that turn yellow/orange/red in the fall. Lots of lakes – both the obvious huge ones, and reasonably sized inland. No scorpions, no fire ants, & cockroaches don’t fly … though mosquitoes and biting black flies (northern counties) have to be dealt with for some of the year. Best of luck!
Judy says
Lake Michigan: no salt, no sharks.
No scorpions.
Michigan is a beautiful state and has many smaller lakes, a good wine growing region and wonderful fruit orchards.
Check Michigan out on your summer tour of possible landing spots!
Kayeri says
This is true! My hubby’s family is from the South Haven area. It’s a beautiful resort town on the eastern shore of Lake Michigan. Beautiful homes, great restaurants, lots of wineries, breweries, distilleries, etc. The local farmers’ markets are great and there’s lots of local produce from the area around the city. Hubby is related to both farmer’s market owners and real maple syrup makers. I’ve never been there in winter, but I’m sure it can get quite snowy with lake effect.
Morgan Smith says
Can’t say where you can land that won’t have its problems.
Possibly Ireland?
Carolyn says
I screamed when you got to the scorpion, that’s so terrifying! I will die happy if I live my entire life without seeing a single scorpion out in the wild.
Sorry to hear about Salem, poor kitty! My friends’ cats have been having health issues lately, so I got pet insurance just in case mine needs it for an emergency. Hope your week improves by leaps and bounds!
Relin says
Reasonable line. I’m hoping the rest of the week goes 5 stars instead.
ada says
Oh god if that happened to me there would have been so much screaming someone would have called the cops. Not what you want to have happen in the shower, or anywhere else really!
Janet Bardsley says
You should consider New Zealand! No snakes or scorpions! Also no gophers or moles!
.303 bookworm says
Yes! Only two poisonous spiders and I’ve never actual seen either of them in the flesh. Not too hot, not too cold and you’re never more than ~2 hours from hills, ocean, rivers or lake – usually at least 3 of those within 30 mins. It’s a socialist democracy based system so taxes are higher and, unfortunately house prices have skyrocketed in last decade. Also: we are called the shaky isles for a reason. I
But the scenery and the people make up for it 🙂
Lorye says
Sister, I am SO WITH YOU. Trying to move out of Texas as we speak. The “burned to brown straw starting in May” hit me in my soul. I could add a whole list of additional reasons we’re going, but that’s a whole ‘nother conversation.
Patricia says
There is only one appropriate response to this type of post:
A-Men Sister
Okay, maybe two!!!
Where’s the tequila??
Jocelyn Malone says
Also not a fan of the giant fearless cockroaches TX grows (I went to college in TX and we still have family down there). Sure, cockroaches exist almost everywhere, but they’re extra disgusting down there for some reason.
Kris Carfi says
Try the Atlanta area maybe around lake Lanier or north in Marrietta lots of lakes there, just don’t go too far south the weather is very different.
njb says
oh, my, so sorry. I know the fact it’s dead is not enough. You must be in an area known for it’s scorpions. I’ve been here in S. Austin for 25 years without running into one. Many years ago, I had a house in a new subdivision in Corpus Christi. I found out after buying that the area had been known for scorpions and rattlers. Fortunately, only the scorpions were still a problem. Heh.
sorry to hear about the kitty travails, too. Gotta love them anyway. It’s not fun having an old kitty, frankly, they have so many odd issues.
Find your lake and have some fun out of the miserable TX heat. I know FL is your goal, but climate change is bringing ever more hurricanes. Not to mention rising waters.
Plus from what I hear, alligators are now a fact of life in most of the waters throughout the state, heh. Would that be out of the frying pan and ….? We had to make sure the gate at the back of the fence in my parents’ house in Beaumont was always closed as it lead to the open drainage and gators were not unknown. Water moccasins either. Thankfully, that’s now a thing of the past as the drainage moved underground behind the houses about 15 years ago.
Carol Poulsen says
Is it possible the cat brought in the scorpion and ingested some venom causing the throwing up? Still with you about moving though!
Moderator R says
No, the vomiting issue sadly precedes the scorpion.
kbozz says
Hidden Legacy Classifieds:
Small but powerful house with narrative magic ISO scorpion-repellent capabilities. Magic, technology, and hybrid solutions will all be considered, but must be pet- and BDH- friendly. Serious applicants contact House Andrews, c/o Mod R.
Cathy says
Excellent!
Pat says
Come on over to Alabama….Birmingham area. 4 hours north you’re in the mountains, 4 hours south and you’re on the beach!
JoAnn says
I second B’ham. I’ve lived all over the South and we’re headed there soon. Love the town (not always the politics), and it’s so close to all kinds of terrain.
Julie says
The cat vomit thing is pretty annoying. I have three cats…..Nugget will vomit in three stages…..the initial big one followed by two small ones. Anubis, my big black cat, vomits and then it scares him and he jumps and runs and spreads it all over the place. Molly just politely vomits once and is done. Anubis is my problem pee cat…. He must have been neutered late and still thinks he has to mark …… in the house.
The scorpion thing…. Ugh. I feel for you on that one. I hope the rest of your week is better!
Kathleen Langerman says
North Carolina and South Carolina have lots of lakes. Same problems with politics, but no scorpions.
Gail says
Sympathy. Lots of sympathy. I have my share of bodily fluids to clean up on a regular basis, so I feel for you.
I hope this is the worst you have to deal with all week and that something absolutely joyful comes your way.
Ruth says
First…moving…LOL! I loved that. We have tiny little red and black scorpions that apparently a neighbor keeps finding in the light fixtures after they fry. I have seen two in my home, one in a spider web in garage. Spider can stay, it’s doing it’s job! The second one walked across the bathroom floor when I was sitting there minding my own business. Now I am paranoid, always watching the floor.
Cat barf…I feel ya. I have a 15 yr old cat that barfs all over the place. Vet checked everything and finally concluded it’s gluttony. It mostly only happens if she gets hold of the dry food of the other kitties. Then she gobbles it up, lets it soak in her tummy and then somehow it multiplies before coming out. Great fun. Not!
Jane Mazurek says
I would not have made any other decision. In Alberta we have nothing thlike that. Wasps, mosquitoes ???? and you’re very welcome here. I can live with things I can see but NOT dropping on me or in my bed. Goid luck, keep writing. I know, very selfish of me.
Korey says
Scorpions would be worse but I’m really not a fan of spiders in the house..
Dallas says
New Zealand doesn’t have any scorpions (other than the zodiac sign) if fact we don’t have any deadly animals. There are flat areas, there are hilly areas, lots of lakes and lovely beaches. Unlike the neighbors, Australia, has all the nasties.
Charlaine Harris says
Oh, please don’t leave us, Ilona! Though your post did remind me that a giant ant dropped onto my hand while I was sitting at my desk working last week. However, I know a large live ant cannot compare with a small dead scorpion. Life in Texas!
Ilona says
Oh no, some of the ants here are terrible. We wouldn’t be leaving you, just the scorpions! 😀
jamie says
Yup, our (almost) 16-year old cat projectile vomits, too. He and his sister are both hyperthyroid, and, despite the meds, he tends to still wolf down kibble, drink water, and spew it everywhere. Our vet’s prescribed maropitant (Cerenia) to see if that controls the vomiting.
Sorry about the bad day.
jewelwing says
Our older cats haven’t been able to tolerate kibble – the one we have now has never been able to tolerate it. We had to make her an indoor cat because she would go next door and eat the kibble our neighbor left out for the feral ones, then come indoors and vomit it up. (The fox that almost got her was the last straw.)
Now she’s strictly on canned food, and pate at that because she has one (1) tooth left. And if it’s been refrigerated, we have to microwave it because cold food on an empty stomach also causes her to vomit. Once we figured that out, our paper towel usage declined steeply.
Colleen says
Lake Auman- it’s outside of Pinehurst/ Southern Pines area.
Leigh says
Brava!! When the 2.5 inch big water cockroaches flew out of my a/c vent onto my pillow in my house in Ft. Worth, I knew I had a problem. You go girl!
Monday, Monday, can’t trust that day
Monday, Monday, sometimes it just turns out that way
Oh Monday mornin’ you gave me no warnin’ of what was to be
Oh Monday, Monday, how could you leave and not take me?
Patricia Schlorke says
I hear you on those roaches. Eww! I had some in my garage, so I put bait down, and the roach carried it to a possible nest. No more roaches. I also put Damp Rid in the garage near my hot water heater. It’s helping a lot.
Haven’t seen any inside my place in a long time, which is fine by me. ????
Rose says
Lots af places if you’d like to do the snow thing…
Dianna says
North Central PA – moved here 9 years ago from Fredericksburg VA/Washington DC area. Gentle wooded hills, near NYS’s Finger Lakes Wine area. Mild summers, mild winters with just enough snow to keep the dog happy. 4 hours from NYC and Philadelphia. 4 Cars at a red light is a traffic jam. Watkins Glen Raceway is near by, Glider Capital of the world in Elmira.
Ginger W says
Eeek. I’m so sorry. When living in San Antonio, found one in my bed, one in the baby crib, stepped on one getting out of the shower (killed soon after with my deodorant container). I had mystery PTSD like pains in my feet for years. Nasty creatures.
Consider looking at making your home in the Olympic Peninsula (in the rain shadow) in Washington State.
mj says
It’s always something. No scorpions but flying squirrels which my tiny feral cat loves to bite the head off of and bats which… well bats. I love them outside. I do not love them inside.
I think Monday gets a half a star.
Leigh says
????
M says
Uhm. I would have been out with the flying cockroaches. So I have so much empathy for you and admiration of your perseverance.
Donna says
If you don’t mind having an actual summer, winter, spring and fall, you might want to check out Oregon. While I preferred our home in Wallowa County, we are now living in Albany. Not too bad, actually. Taxes are a bit high, but not horrible. It’s an hour and a half from the beach and about two hours from beautiful Central Oregon, with mountains and fine skiing. The veterinarians are good and the medical facilities are excellent.
Lora Tyler says
So sorry for that experience but a wonderful laughing opportunity for me! (Only because it isn’t happening to me and you are such a great writer and that was funny). Thank you for sharing!
Katrina says
Valid choice.
Also, I’m dead laughing at life and how it punches us in the face. Today I woke up to stepping on cat poop (squished between toes) because my old lady dog decided to help clean the litter box…despite a new special “dog proof” litter box).
Nelly says
Cross the pond and come live in Normandy 🙂 No scorpions, close to the sea and good food. A bit windy in February but temperate weather all year round – and the grass is greener than anywhere in France.
I do hope you will find a place that fits your needs and keep you safe.
Claudia says
Yikes, I’m sorry you’re having a rough day! Hope things improve for you and Salem.
Yeah, I can understand why that’d be where you’d draw your line.
Noybswx says
Urg, I hear you when it comes to creepy crawlies where they shouldn’t be. Still adjusting to the ‘palmetto bugs’. Didn’t help having one that managed to fall into my sports bra from the ceiling. There should be a rule that insects can’t dive bomb from above. Glad it was already dead, though!!!
Carole says
Yep. That would probably do it for me too.
Cathy says
Oh, what an awful morning! I’m so sorry! I hope the rest of your day is better! Scorpions would be the last straw for me as well.
I sympathize with the cat vomit problem. I also have an elderly cat. She enjoys good health, in general, but about once a week she takes it into her head to poop on the floor, then run around, then throw up everything in her stomach. I call these days a “poop- and puke-a-palooza.” I also have spent much money at the vet (blood tests, stool tests, urine tests, x-rays, ultrasounds, etc.) trying find a reason for this. They can’t find one.
Erin says
Look up Beaver Lake, Arkansas. Do not judge us based on the rest of Arkansas – NWA is unique.
https://southernersays.com/2019/01/10/why-you-should-visit-bentonville-arkansas/
Ann Williams says
I really hope the coming week is an improvement.
Huntsville is nice. It’s in Alabama, but it’s really very different from the rest of the state. Cost of living and taxes are relatively low. The area is growing rapidly, but that’s also brought a lot of variety to the activities available. Like the rest of the south… it’s hot.
Leigh says
If ur coming to NC, you need to look at Western Virginia.
Also I live a block from the Rappahannock about 15 miles up river from the mouth into the Chesapeake Bay. I would highly recommend the north shore of the Northern Neck for you guys, Westmoreland/Northumberland counties. Very rural. The most “undiscovered” area on the East Coast. If you don’t like seafood, don’t come here though. It’s a main staple. Rockfish. Big writers’ community here too.
Leigh says
Oops, forgot to say there is a significant community of military retirees, mostly navy, marines.
Candace Hammond says
Ha, ha, ha. I am still laughing although dead scorpions are not a laughing matter really. Out of Texas is good for many reasons. I wish you well in your search/move.
Cheers.
Teri says
Come to Jupiter Florida
It’s wonderful here. No tourist.
Only negative- winter can be crowded with the snowbirds. We have learned how to avoid the crowds. I am a teacher near Chicago, so we are kinda reverse snowbirds. We are in Jupiter during school holidays and the summer. I would be happy to be a guide if you visit. I would offer to host you but you may think that weird. (also I was born and raised in Texas so I understand)
DK says
oh wow a scorpion NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..
although falling and dead is better than crawling on you and alive but OMG I would be needing something stronger than tea.
so glad you could write coherently after that..
and
offer us all a chance to tempt you to move to where we are.
I’m with Victorria in western Pa. check us out on your exploration vacation. use realtors dot com if you have a zip code you like. we have taxes at almost every level – just depends on location
if you like cities good old Pittsburgh can offer big city stuff but with friendly neighborhoods (think Mr. Rogers)
and just outside the city to choices are wide open from a few acres to farms. I’m 26 miles north east of the city on 40 acres and I luv it.
We are far enough inland to not worry about sea rise and the Appalachian Mountains give us weather protection…
check out the weather map and you will see most all of the bad stuff misses us.
Tons of history and a two hour drive will take you to dark skies with NO light pollution
https://pawilds.com/landscape/dark-skies/#!directory/map/ord=rnd
https://explorepahistory.com/attraction.php?id=1-B-1030
so there’s my pitch.. oh btw today it is bright sunny and 60 F tomorrow 45 F.. a roller coaster.
https://www.wunderground.com/weather/us/pa/pittsburgh
hoping you and the cat have a much calmer week
Sue says
Ilona, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but living near a lake (in the South) almost guarantees that you will run into snakes. In NC it would be water moccasins. Not sure about other Southern states… But I understand your pain. I’m originally from Washington State & there aren’t giant cock roaches that fly. So, when I moved here from Seattle, I was constantly being freaked out by 4-inch roaches scuddling up the wall. My cat wouldn’t even chase them.
Teresa says
I moved from Arkansas to Ohio to be near the grandkids. No 106 in the summer, no poisonous snakes in northern Ohio and no scorpions???? I live on a pond and my biggest problem has been bats in the attic and mice. Near the Cleveland Symphony Orchestra, Cleveland Art Museum, Lake Eric, lots of hiking trails and the second largest playhouse area in the US. If you like snow, this is the place???? I hope your day gets better quickly.
Candace Hammond says
Oh, I also have a cat who would wake me from a sound sleep at 5:30 AM puking. She is about 15 years old and was losing weight as well. Finally, my vet put her on Cerenia for vomiting and the problem is mostly stopped. The Cerenia is for dogs, but a smaller dose can be given to cats. If I miss her dose, she wakes me up vomiting – sometimes on me in the bed. Yuck.
Good luck.
Jessie West says
AaaaaAAAAAAAhhhhhck! No thank you!
I’d definitely call a mulligan on today and just go back to bed!
Leigh says
????
Kathy says
I was born in Dallas, tons of family still in East Texas, grew up in Louisiana, lived in western Tennessee for a bit, worked in Yellowstone Park, have been all over the North East, and currently live in Maryland. I listed all of the above so you know I’ve seen/lived in a lot of places and Maryland is the best (to me). We are not far from mountains and the ocean. Can catch shows at the Kennedy Center or be in NYC in a morning. History all around! Country or Urban settings close by. SO and I talk about were to retire and honestly, I don’t think we will leave where we are.
Crystal Smith says
Lol. We have a cat that vomits everywhere and the vet was like she’s eating too fast either because she’s afraid one of the other cats will eat it all or you will run out. He suggested one of those feeders that makes them chase it. But then what do I do with the other 4 cats who expect food available 24/7. No on scorpions. Come to Tennessee no state income tax and no scorpions just lady bugs and stink bugs with an occasional black rat snake.
kitkat9000 says
>But then what do I do with the other 4 cats who expect food available 24/7.
We finally broke down and got SureFeed battery operated feeders. They come with rfid tags the cats wear on their collars. These were literally our last option before separating them at mealtimes. Bit of a PITA and crazy expensive but it was better than watching our orange boy eat himself to death.
Cindy N. says
I live in Clermont Florida off a lake surrounded by a few houses and conservation land! Taxes, etc really make it worth it!
Ann says
North Carolina is very nice. Whether you choose mountains, lakes, or ocean we have it. I hope that you find a perfect place.
Sharon says
Come to the UK. We have all four seasons (sometimes in the same day)
I believe our only native venomous creature is an adder (snake) which I have never seen in over 50 years. There have been 14 adder deaths in over a hundred years.
I think there are non-native nasties here that have crossed from mainland Europe, but mostly further south as the cold kills them before they get here.
We have 3 sorts of biting spiders but nothing really ‘killer’ unless you are unlucky or allergic.
Sonson says
Agree!
Also lots of lovely, historic cities (great for research), culture and beautiful countryside.
Very close to Europe – you can be there in a couple of hours.
Only thing is we cannot do Mexican food well outside of a couple of places.
Plus free healthcare (mostly)
Sonson says
Should add that we do have blooming foxes everywhere but mostly they just ignore you and are kinda cute unless they decide to live in your garden and leave a mess. Of course higher taxes than the US and smaller houses (Texas houses are insanely big) but less to clean and maintain and most urban cities are very walkable.
Also we are great at Tea and Knitting – just sayin
Donna A says
Yes! Come to the UK, we have all the weather types, great tea, both countryside and cities in what to you would probably deem a small compact area compared to Texas.
Plus wildlife that is great yet not murderous and the invasive ones generally only come into your home via the roof in a sweet and adorable way (albeit messy and noisy – see squirrels, bats, pigeons and swallows)(well maybe mice too, especially field mice but let’s face it, the cats would deal. And in the cities maybe cockroaches (ugh) but my understanding is ours have nothing on American ones. Plus cats again).
And I guess badgers, deer, hedgehogs and foxes might hit your garden (if you’re lucky!).
Plus daddy long legs, they are NOT cute. Nor is flying ant day, I’m not down with that.
But we’ve got some lovely looking non-deadly spiders and beetles. We do have a few scorpions but they are solely concentrated down south and will stay outdoors in their localised populations and are titchy tiny ones that glow in the dark besides.
I feel like I’m talking too much wildlife here so I’m gonna stop.
But also parakeets.
Donna A says
PS
I’m not advocating cats killing things, I believe you should put a bell on outside cats’ collars to try and protect birdlife, but from what I’ve seen this does not seem to protect mice much. And some people need mouser cats for hygiene.
(I love cats but ever since I came down to a trail of horror at the age of seven (Tommy found a mouse nest and left them ALL dead from the hall of the kitchen right down the garden) I know what they are – adorable and cuddly sociopaths)
Tammy says
Look at Northwest Arkansas. It has 4 seasons, mountains, beautiful country with a big arts scene and lots of quirkiness. The property taxes are so low you come out ahead even with a state income tax. We moved here 8 years ago from Texas and dont regret it a bit. We live outside of Hot Springs which is just as nice but there are less bugs the farther north you go.
jewelwing says
Some days are better than others. Hope yours improves. And your week. And the rest of the year could improve, frankly, although I won’t hold my breath.
Stephanie F. says
I don’t know, naturally, but the situation with your cat painfully reminds of what happened to my own. He kept on vomiting, especially late at night / in the early morning, but also at other times. The vet couldn’t find anything wrong and also considered his blood tests really good for an elderly cat. My own homeopath recommended a plant extract (the German term is Weißdorn, I found hawthorn and whitethorn in a dictionary) for his liver, since the vomiting pointed at a problem in this area to him. This helped, as did special food. He did have a liver issue and a tumour there, which the vet only found out much later. I don’t know if this helps, but I at least wanted to mention it.
Momcat says
Spent my first 79 years fearlessly navigating woods, swamps and fields in northern New England. Technically there were venomous snakes in most of it, but I never saw one. I hated the damned cold all my life and finally decided to move off the glacier and find someplace warmer. North Carolina has nice places, but we decided that it wasn’t warm enough. So South Carolina is it. Been here going on 4 years and like it a lot. Love my neighbors. Hubby and I toast each other each time we miss a blizzard. However, all the southern states have scorpions, right on up through Virginia. Not the lethal types, but still nasty buggers. I have yet to see one here. Venomous snakes all over the place too, again have not seen one, but I do not reach into or under bushes of places I can’t see clearly. Did find a scorpion sharing my chair in a visit to Florida. That was the last nail in the coffin for Florida as far as I was concerned. I know you will do all due diligence so I have no suggestions just good wishes that you find your ideal spot.
SharonW says
The Accidental FIRE guy has done a ton of work on geoarbitraage and has a ton of tools collected that compare different parts of the country. Some of them are pretty cool. Everything from taxes to housing costs to walkability. Maybe some of them would be helpful for you, especially since you have specific areas in mind already.
https://accidentalfire.com/geoarbitrage-tools-resources/
Mary says
Virginia in the Lake Anna area is nice. 🙂 Have a better day.
Kara Rogers says
Those things are so annoying. Hope your week improves!
Tess says
It’s funny what makes us just be DONE. I used to live in northern Australia. Could handle the spiders the size of my hand. The micro bats flying through my house. The tiny frogs that would watch me have a bath. The insane amounts of moths and bugs. The snakes. Poisonous ones or the bigger non poisonous ones. My done moment was mould. All over my bamboo dumpling steamer. Three different types. And rain for 42 days in a row. Just no. Done. Done. Done. Hah
JEP says
Come to Australia, home of The Redback on the Toilet Seat song.
The fires were like, 2 years ago, it only rarely gets above 120 F, the mouse plague is over and some days, we even have internet. If you hurry, you might get a chance to see a koala!
(Sorry fellow Aussies, all tongue in cheek)
Mel says
Don’t forget the Yowie, our Drop Bears and the always popular boxing Kangaroo.
Lucine Smith says
You know we were military..father and husband and lived all over…there’s always something…we have hurricanes, heat, and humidity here in Florida…Kansas and Missouri it was ice storms and tornadoes…California we had earthquakes and fires, Nevada heat and drought, Illinois the snow and the wind drove me crazy…like a knife going through you. Guam has floods.. try to clean 5 inches of mud out of your whole house! Denver it’s hard to breathe…but…we’d love to have you here in Florida…
laj says
Living on a lake you’ll be eaten up by mosquitoes. I remember a visit to Lake Gaston in NC and it was miserable with those biters. Plus the water smelled funny. Growing up we went to mountain lakes in CA,WA,MT and ID and what I remember most is getting swarmed and bitten by mosquitoes. Same with the Big Island. I really hate those buzzing mosquitoes. I never see bad bugs in Santa Monica nor did I when I lived in Santa Cruz or Seattle. Someone above mentioned roaches in Seattle, but I never had them at my 1920’s 4th floor apt or at my sister’s house on the peninsula.
Living by the ocean is your best bet. Now my Mom lives in Sun City AZ and I have never seen a scorpion at her place only the occasional javelina or coyote late at night, but it is just too damn dry and hot for my comfort. The minute I arrive my skin dries up and crummy allergies kick in….the minute I cross back over the L.A. County line the allergies disappear. Move to the beach. No bugs, no allergies and clean air.
I’m interested to see what happens next in your house saga. Stay sane. XO
Deborah Young Parker says
Yikes. May I suggest Asheville, North Carolina. Beautiful, a little funky, artsy crafty. It’s in my top three.
Brandi says
My cat has a similar issue. My vet recommended FortiFlora. It’s a powder that you sprinkle on the food daily. I believe it has helped sooth whatever is going on in the digestive tract.
As for bugs, I have the pest company spray quarterly. And come out as needed. Not sure that would help with scorpions though.
To tie the two issues maybe the cat is eating the scorpions and that is causing the explosive vomit
Susan M says
I laughed just like Dina did, through your entire scorpion rant.
I entirely agree falling scorpions would be it.
I’m a little concerned about the crocodiles and alligators in the southeast. The frozen iguanas falling out of trees is also interesting.
I live at the beach in New Jersey. Where all i worry about is hurricanes. My husband‘s job is moving us to North Carolina and I keep looking at houses in the mountains with outdoor living and no screens. I’m not sure how I feel about not having a screened in porch.
Living in the Northeast with snow and older bones,
JudySiud says
What a way to start your day. Hope the rest of the week is better. Come visit Boise, Idaho. Low taxes. Down in valley, so hardly any snow or cold winters. Skiing, hiking, fishing and hunting in mountains. Biking around town. Hot, dry weather so not many bugs. River runs thru town, so people tube down it all summer.
laj says
Doesn’t Boise have the highest rising housing costs in the U.S. right now? I saw a piece on 60 Minutes saying locals can’t find affordable housing and the prices have tripled since the pandemic forced people to work from home and made communities like Boise look very attractive to Californians and Seattleites.
Jazzlet says
Sorry you had such a rotten start to the week. I hopee the rest of the week is better for all of you. Good luck with the new home hunting!
Lorie York says
I’m sorry you went through that. I hope it gets better. My 12 cat vomited frequently until I switched him to True solutions blissful belly wet cat food by blue. He gets a can a day. Maybe the cat now has a sensitive stomach. Ichanged the dry cat food too. The vomiting is much reduced. Best of luck with resolving that.
Jessica Smith says
Kentucky has some nice lakes!
And all 4 seasons. ????
Beverly Meyers says
Have you tried a different cat food? My vet said many cats are allergic to corn or other grains. I have had two cats who vomit often. I have tried different foods to at least slow down the vomiting. I admit it never totally stops but the food really makes a difference.
Right now my cars eat Blue brand Grain free Indoor Adult Recipe with Chicken, Peas and Potatoes and Fussie Cat Market Fresh Salmon and Chickenmeal. – this one doesn’t have potatoes or grain . One cat prefers chicken and the other one who is the one who vomits now prefers fish.
It is trial and error but food can really make a difference.
It is kind of trial and error but worth it.
Kelly M says
O. M. G. No. Nononononono. No. [runs screaming]
Denise says
I can recommend Switzerland. Lots of lakes, 4 seasons, no scorpiones.
Sara S says
I have the heebie jeebies just imagining it. As an Arizona transplant this is my nightmare.
Mel says
We have scorpions here too, but they are the Northern Scorpions. They are usually only seen at night and their sting is similar to hornet sting; they are rarely deadly.
Heather Hanley says
Delaware has low taxes, waterside properties and a significant lack of scorpions, just in case you needed to know ????
Tom says
I can’t really offer any state recommendations, but I hope your Tuesday is a two-star day (or more!)
If Texas is the Lone Star (One Star?) State – is there a Five Star State to look at?
Catherine says
I wish you the best, I’ve lived in Texas for most of my life and yeah there are things that definitely suck about it. I hope you find somewhere that your happy with. It’s great you have a career, that’s not location based.
viwiles says
Rough morning 0_0. Does Virginia have scorpions? I understand it’s beautiful and scenic. It’s not a wealthy state financially, but it’s beautiful and there’s a seaside option ^_^. Everyone I know who’s lived there really liked it
jewelwing says
No scorpions in VA. It is indeed a beautiful state, with a lot of geographic options. Route 1 is roughly the line between Piedmont and Coastal Plain regions. I plan on moving there in a year or so to be closer to family. Looking forward to being slightly farther south, with a lower cost of living than here in Maryland.
Maryland is great too though. I didn’t appreciate it as a kid, but once I’d seen more of the world I realized how unusual it is to have such variety in reasonable driving range. And parts of Pennsylvania are beautiful too, but might be a bit cold for someone who’s used to the South. No way am I moving anywhere colder than where I am now.
Tiffany says
No fun! My cat recently turned 17, and he can no longer squat to pee…resulting in repeat messes. His vomit issues stopped when I switched him to can food.
If you want to move up to Washington State with me, the eastern half has some nice warm summers!
Faith Freewoman says
Just remember Rochester in western NY, on Lake Ontario, lots of stately old homes, and many elements that would make it an excellent choice as climate change worsens. And so far going on 10 years, winters aren’t all that bad…this year we’ve had as low a -17 with wind chill, and because odpf extra rain there’s a danger if flooding, but so far, so good!
Cheers, Faith
Daisy says
Wherever you go, some people will be very happy! These advertising comments are hilarious.
No place is perfect, but some places are better for some people. Good luck finding the best spot for you.
Kimmelane says
A dear friend of mine has two homes, one here in north Florida and one in Montana. She spends winters here and summers there. While I don’t favor having two homes so extremely far apart, we are considering a summer home in the mountains. The older I get, the less I can tolerate the heat!
Nicola says
Well you are now officially a member of my Coven. Welcome:)
AnnFlo says
Somehow it reminds me of a The Exorcist movie…
My daughter,when little, used to do “the exorcist”, which meant quite a few projectile vomiting sessions while in my arms. I feel You Ilona. No scorpions recollection however. Central Europe won’t do that to You ????
Sheri says
Cat vomit. Not pretty nor enjoyable. My 17yo cat also graces me with daily offerings. She also has no real medical reason, according to vets. I must have pee’d her off badly at some point and this is her revenge. Search your memory ????
Have you considered NZ as your new location? No poisonous critters, or snakes or large predators and mild weather overall. And then, I’d get to your new books first!!! Bwahaha
Steve lucas says
Yikes! I am super glad you are ok. I am also glad I live in northern BC. No poisonous insects, arachnids, or snakes. I will take colder weather, long winters and shoveling driveways any day. Here I have not seen any hurricanes or tornadoes either.
Sue Watson says
Bless your heart-those darn scorpions! After cleaning cat vomit! Insult and almost injury! Those darn scorpions are common in Texas and Oklahoma, and they really do sting. I know you both lived in Georgia, so I will share a Georgia bug story with you. My husband and I had a small farm there and would lay our farm clothes that weren’t quite dirty enough for the washer on a butler. I pulled on my jeans from there one morning, and my butt started to sting. Ants in my pants! Fire ants!????????????
E says
AMEN! That would be my line in the sand too! I got the heebie jeebies so bad I was dancing in my chair! Ilona, you deserve a scorpion free home, cheers to finding new digs in a more hospitable (on the scorpion front) area.
Dana says
One of the top 5 reasons I put up with Minnesota winters – very few venomous creepy-crawly things. Hope your day goes better.
Carolin says
Amazing reflexes on the discovery of the scorpion.
Hope the week gets better, it really should after this start.
Also hope that Salem gets hetter.
Pepperpot says
Remember if you move to Florida they actually have falling iguana weather warnings. If it gets too cold, the iguanas start falling from the trees.
Kimmelane says
Only in south Florida. It’s a huge state and they don’t cone as far north as central or northern Florida.
Kendra says
I’ve lived in Oklahoma, Illinois, Alabama, South Carolina, and now happily reside in Southwestern Virginia. Taxes and cost of living are not ideal but the beauty of the Blue Ridge Mountains is unbeatable. The perfect four seasons. No crazy weather, no crazy bugs, fantastic growing season and native flora and fauna. We live in the country and I work part time gardening for sweet old ladies while happily listening to audiobooks and podcasts. It’s a pretty sweet life…..If you move near by I’ll do your yard for free so we can be friends. Lol.
Joyce Silke says
Scorpions are nasty little creatures. I hope you find a fantastic new home in a wonderful state. Happy belated birthday btw….
SoCoMom says
Aw, man! I’d be out too. So glad you were not stung.
Sorry about the barfy cat too. My big fluffy Mr. Luvbug leaves me slimy hairballs right where I step in the mornings, before dawn.
I’d say come live here, but we dry out in summer and have too many fires. Maybe Washington or Minnesota?
Leslie says
Anywhere north. I’ve lived in Arizona and Tennessee in the south. No thank you. WAY too many critters that can kill you. Or your pets.
Also lived in Illinois, Maine and Wisconsin. Maine was my favorite. Cold and snowy almost all year it seems. But it was so beautiful in the fall.
Sabrina says
Move to Europe! 😉 Especially Northern Europe is from what I have seen basically scorpion free. Pick an area that’s not under sea level though, what with rising oceans… We do have a lot of taxes, but you get your money’s worth in social security and things 😉
(No, I’m kidding, mostly 🙂 )
Cristina says
what a horrible morning 🙁
I knew with certainty that I would NEVER move to TX or AZ years ago when my sister told me her dog had just graduaed from snake aversion training! Now I live in central NY and I take my do to obedience training …. lol
central NY is beautiful and though there are some who decry the snow, it rarely stops people from getting out and about. Yes, there is wine (if you can classify NY state wine as wine), mountains and lakes and rivers. Though I live in the Syracuse area, I’ve also lived in Stone Ridge, next door to High Falls, the center of the universe. Don’t believe me? Their Town Cryer proudly proclaims their status 🙂
As much as I love central NY, the taxes are killer. We are thinking of retiring to NH .. mountains, lakes, and rivers, also a bit of ocean front .. close to Boston.
5% state taxes and New Hampshire has no personal income tax, which means Social Security retirement benefits are tax-free at the state level. Income from pensions and retirement accounts also go untaxed in New Hampshire. On top of that, there is no sales tax, estate tax or inheritance tax here. Just saying
Gsg says
I dealt with scorpions in California. Just.. no. I have been dealing g with chronic vomiting in the poodle beast and after she vomited all over her paws and then decided to run through the house when I ran a bath for her, we tracked it down to her gallbladder. Prescription food and 1/4 of a prilosec (do you know how hard it is to cut that tiny suckered into 4 pieces?) 2 x per day, she is feeling better.
Robin Šebelová says
You need a land without poisones insects? Well, come to the Czech republic. Only occasional bee, wasp or hornet stings here. Only one poisonous snake too. Mild weather, some crazy politicians, good living…
If you don´t believe me, try find Dream Prague channel on YouTube.
Pyrane says
????????????????????????
***Pyrane***
Elisabeth says
I would draw the line at scorpions too. You could hear me scream if a ‘normal’ spider fell down on me. I think a scorpion would lead to a heart attack ????.
Luckily, we don’t have any in the mountains of Austria.
Hope the rest of your week gets five stars, with no more cat vomit and no more ????.
NonWonderful says
I lived in the Australian Outback for over 20 years, this sounds like a normal day except it would have been dog vomit if I was unlucky enough to have both things happen on the same day. One of my neighbours did the stupid thing of leaving his underwear on the floor and then putting it back on, I’ll leave it to your imagination as to where exactly he got stung.
I would have to say the worst thing that ever fell out of an aircon vent at my place was a baby snake but we covered all our vents in fly screen so we were able to safety release it.
Jane says
I hate to see you leave, but I certainly understand being a Texan myself. I love where I live in Texas but it isn’t Austin or the surrounding area. I hope you and Gordon find your haven. Good luck!
pat roos says
vomit comes and goes, but highly poisonous scorpions! damn! I’d be outofthere fast.
StacieMcC says
Arkansas has high sales taxes but balances with nearly the lowest property taxes and income taxes that are in the lowest 20 states.
We don’t have scorpions but there are a very few places that have tarantula migrations (shudder!). And in the summertime the mosquitoes can carry you away.
Some areas are downright beautiful (Lake Hamilton and Crystal Lake and parts of the Ozark and Ouachita mountain regions) and have great climates.
Occasional tornadoes or flooding along rivers but no hurricanes or wildfires. Very rare light earthquakes if you settle along the New Madrid Fault Zone (usually only bad enough that people ask each other “was that an earthquake?”). Summer is hot and humid. Winter is very mild. Good zone for growing most plants.
It’s a heavily red state with a few purple areas if politics matter to you.
Michelle says
No scorpions in the Niagara Region 🙂 — or hurricanes — just the odd blizzard
barbie doll says
There is no perfect place to live. If it isn’t the critters or the weather it is the politicians. You just have to find a place you can tolerate. You have moved at least twice since I started reading the blog. I wish you well in your hunt. Old kitties are hard to deal with and so sad. My worst critter episode involved leeches, enough said.
KatyM says
I lived in Iowa for a while. My brother asked me why I lived there and low cost of living was the main reason. He said that reasoning was like buying cheap canned tuna but who really wants it?
You can write wherever, go wherever your soul will flourish.
Linda Trainor says
You handled it better than I would have.
Aly Anzalone says
I don’t want anyone else moving to Florida, but for you I absolutely make an exception. I’ve never seen a scorpion here.
Jen says
That seems like a reasonable line to draw.
Amanda says
We moved to The Frozen North (Wisconsin) from South Carolina>Nashville 6 years ago and while there are many things I dislike about what they endearingly term their “fourth season” I do love the reduction in insects that are likely to land me in an ER.
Clarice says
Come to North Dakota. There are a few lakes. Property taxes can be somewhat high but you don’t pay all that much in state taxes. You have snow on the ground 5 to 8 months of the year but it’s only really cold 3 months out of the year.
Karen Wagner says
Tennessee mountains lakes no taxes I almost made it there but I’m still in North Georgia mountains haven’t seen any scorpions but there’s taxes…
Marion says
Come on up to Canada…definitely no scorpions here and the health care is great!
Bunny says
Having lived in Texas, Florida, and Oklahoma as a youth, I am committed to East coast, Delaware or farther north. I am now a long time Massachusetts resident. Yes, the winters are cold (sometimes, thanks to global warming) and there are mosquitoes. But, I get a change of seasons and the bugs are much less ghastly. Works for me.
akk says
Now looking forward to seeing scorpions get their comeuppance in a scene – will it be a scorpion based alien in Innkeeper, a scorpion construct or scorpions controlled by an insect mage in Hidden Legacy, a giant magical scorpion in Blood Heir, or something new? We await to see your revenge on scorpions (if desired).
Jessica says
I’d like to put in a plug for Western Massachusetts. It’s country, it’s hilly, it’s artsy(music, performance arts, fiber arts, fine arts, food), it’s farms. There’s moose, fox, bobcats- no scorpions. It gets cold-snows, gets hot-rains, sometimes all in the same day. 2 hours from Boston, 2 from NYC. 1 hour to the beach and less to a ski resort or two. We have strict gun laws but cage free eggs. Safe but never boring.
Kate says
It is why I have garage sale/thrift store throws on all my furniture, and when I had a sick cat she was excluded from my office (or I threw an old sheet over everything on my desk). I did lots of laundry while Smudge was alive, and I still have the throws, because the weather may not know spring is coming but Micha got the memo and I have white and orange mats everywhere he even pauses.
Kate says
No solutions for the scorpion issue. My sugar ant problem doesn’t seem comparable.
Kate says
ANT
Moderator R says
Fixed it ????
Teresa says
Beautiful kitty
MerryB says
Hugs
Juni says
Good idea think western Washington
You can have weather change in a flash , warm summers cool winters
No poisonous snakes
We do have-brown recluse spiders but only in dank places….and rarely…
Live on a hill to avoid floods
Best of luck with your next adventure….
My 17 year old cat is incontinent ..and she can puke….it is so much fun I keep waterproof slip covers in furniture and a clear plastic shower curtain over the beds…other that this shes a good inside kitty…
Nydia Burdick says
The mold and mildew are horrible there, but it is gorgeous. The wine is really good too.
Steph says
My cat, who looks just like the one in the picture, has this issue until we changed the dry food to sensitive digestion and skin. I hope you’re cat feels better soon.
Nydia Burdick says
No taxes in New Hampshire but you got to deal with winter. I think Florida also has low taxes, but then hurricanes. There’s not a perfect place, but if I had the $$ I go somewhere with a view.
Terri says
Well…..SHI-IT!!!
Michelle Wyatt says
Lots of lakes in Florida and a low tax base as well!
Kate says
If you believe in climate change then Florida can’t be saved. Most of the state rests on limestone which is porous. If you build a dam, a dike, or a levee the water will simply come in under it.
Nancy says
That was horrifying. Sorry you had to deal with that.
Duane says
I have lived in various parts of the US. If you do not mind high taxes, the southern Fingerlake region of NY is lovely with nice hilly landscape, 4 seasons with survivable summer, and access to many interesting places. Northeastern NY is too cold and snowy. Central Illinois has great farmland, but brief fall and spring, as does Missouri. Other portions of the midwest (Nebraska) tend toward cold winters and hot summers. Northeast Georgia has lakes, bearable summers, nice winters, real spring and fall, and is far enough from the coast to endure tropical storms. The taxes are intermediate. The Gulf coast can have low taxes, lots of moisture, mild winters, and a great deal of humidity. Proximity to the Gulf gives vulnerability to tropical storms. All in all, northern Georgia, Tennessee, Kentucky offer a balance of features that might appeal. Florida near the “Big Bend” is less often (not never!) bothered by tropical storms. I have not experienced the reputedly heavenly weather of the West Coast, but there are high tax considerations.
M D Martinez says
North Carolina mountains near Pisgah National Forest became my happy place after a vacation there. It was beautiful. I win the lottery and that is where I’m moving. Currently in N Florida. The cool nights in August were amazing.
Regina says
I hope your day has turned around.
Maxine says
I understand about the cats and vomit. I have two 16 year old sisters. They are healthy but vomit all the time too. Tried lots of different kinds of food. Bloodwork with the vet. Everything.
Emily says
Scorpions freak me out more than any other invertebrate. Don’t get me wrong. Wasps, stinging ants, and spiders are all firmly in the „not in my personal space“ category (except some tarantulas are cool. Jumping spiders are adorable but they jump so they don’t get a pass for being cute). But scorpions freak me out on a whole other level. I’m pretty sure I am now going to have to check my ceiling for scorpions, in February, in Iowa.
I don’t know how anyone lives in Texas.
Terry Chronister says
Wild idea here because I have a 17 year old healthy cat that also vomits. Through trial and error, figures out he simply doesn’t digest as quickly as he used to, and his body decides to get rid of it in the dark of morning. More wet food rather then dry, and-b12 shots. B12 is harmless, if the body can use it to help digest it will, if not, it pees out. I can easily stick it in and don’t before the cat knows what happened. Just a thought.
Jean A Banks says
Please consider New Hampshire when you think of moving !
Chris says
Silver lining:
“Corpse of the Scorpion” is either the title of a fantasy/noir crossover novel that I may write & dedicate to Ilona (unlikely, because I’m not actually a writer); or the name of a new heavy metal band in an Arabella short story (if there ever is another, no pressure!).
I hope the rest of your week takes an upward trajectory!
Huyen says
OMG, so sorry it was such a bad day. I hope your cat is ok. Maybe she ate a scorpion. So glad the scorpion was dead but I’m getting the heebie-jeebies. Ugh. Hoping tomorrow is vomitless and scorpionless.
Jennifer says
*hypnotic voice*
Come to Michigan… Come to Michigan…
We have lots of lakes and four actual seasons. Winters have been getting increasingly mild, too, from what I remember growing up- thanks global warming!
We don’t get hurricanes, have relatively infrequent tornadoes, and only 1 earthquake in my 46 years.
AND- I have never once encountered a poisonous arachnid, insect or snake!
Michigan for the win!!
Daphne says
Santa Fe is pretty awesome, just sayin’????
I grew up in Texas, it is challenging for sure. Hang in there.
Judy B says
I’m old. I was born in Newfoundland, an island in the North Atlantic Ocean with a high cost of living,,,, however, no snakes, no poisonous bugs, free medical, and absolutely wonderful people.
As an adult the only big city I’ve lived in was Toronto, but I’ve lived in smaller towns and rural areas in Germany, Mississippi, Maine, southern Nevada and New Brunswick. I’ve never forgotten the giant scorpion that chased my dog around the yard in Nevada, or the horror of having one fall on my head from the ceiling. I’m happy to spend my final years in the Canadian Maritimes, with no poisonous bugs, a home on the side of a lake that cost a reasonable amount of money, and four seasons weather wise.
Hillary says
I live in the Sandhills of NC. It’s a beautiful state. Thankfully no scorpions. I am already anxious, add scorpions? Not a pretty picture.
M says
Alaska doesn’t have scorpions and snakes.
Jus Fung says
Come to Australia. No scorpions here – promise.
Um – just some of the most venomous snakes and spiders on the planet and a few crocs, sharks, box jellyfish and stingrays.
But other than that – totally safe here down under!!
(Now off to find a drink of water and remove my tongue from my cheek!)
.303 bookworm says
Have you ever read Terry Pratchett’s “the last continent” from his Discworld series? The bit where Death walks into his library, holds out his hand and asks for dangerous creatures of the continent known as “xxxx” and gets buried under a pile of books always cracks me up. He digs his way out and asks for “non lethal and a piece of paper wafts down from the ceiling. It says “some of the sheep”.
jewelwing says
I love that book. Recommended it to a friend in Australia. She reported laughing hysterically on the train while reading it. It’s my favorite of the ones that don’t have the Witches or Watch in them.
Katherine says
I realize this may not be welcomed feedback but *I* feel better offering it even if you never read it:
Is Salem losing weight?
If so, did the xrays look at her neck and chest?
There is a condition called megaesophagus. It’s usually found in juveniles but can also occur in geriatrics. It is a malformation of the esophagus that prevents food from reaching the stomach. With nowhere else to go the food is vomited back up.
The rescue I volunteer for recently got a kitten back with the same symptoms as Salem. His esophagus resembles a stomach sized balloon in his chest. 🙁
I’m so glad you weren’t stung by that scorpion. Good luck in your quest to find a scorpion free place to live.
AndrewC says
Well, lookit the bright side! You didn’t get stung and the cat didn’t puke on a laptop. I was at an Apple and the guy in front of me had borrowed his wife’s laptop and spilled coffee on it. Around $600 dollars to clean it and restore to functionality. Except the drive fried. And ALL her pictures were likely gone. And her knitting patters. And…
So he decided to just buy a new machine. I told him he should take the money and run to Mexico.
You can buy a small island in a lake up in Washington and Oregon. My son and daughter keep looking at them online.
Kathleen says
My elderly cat used to vomit several times a week. Once I started feeding him 4 times a day, dry kibble followed wet food 2 hours later in the morning and repeat at supper, he stopped vomiting. It’s worth a try.
Good luck. ????
Linnaea says
Ladysmith, Vancouver Island, BC, Canada. Come on up! ???? Temperate, very little snow. Rain, sun, seasons, sunshine. Right on the water.
Laura says
I found a scorpion in my work clothes that I was shaking out before my last day of working in New Mexico… if it hadn’t been an apartment… I might have needed to burn it down.
Ara says
This reminds me of when I had just had my daughter 10 or so years ago. She was small enough that she was still sleeping in our room, right next to our bed. It’s late, my husband and baby and I are all miraculously asleep at the same time when suddenly hubs jerks up, hurtles out of bed, and runs out the door of the bedroom. Just as I’m groggily asking “What just happened?” I feel a sharp pinch on my arm. My husband seems to remember that he left his wife and daughter and came back and turned on the light. Scorpion. Scorpion in the bed. Scorpion stinging me! Scorpion near baby! I fling that damn thing across the room just as 2 more fall out of the vent onto our bed. I direct husband to get a broom as I try and keep track of them all. He comes back and we proceed to try and bash all the scorpions. Turns out when you hit a scorpion with a broom, it does nothing. Absolutely nothing. Except cause the scorpion to fling skyward a good 5-6 feet. At that point I was done. Baby was crying, I was screaming as I tried to dodge the flying scorpions, and my daughter and I went and slept in the car the rest of the night 😛 Husband did battle and eventually vanquished all the feral beasties, or so I was assured. I’m not sure I ever slept another night through until we moved. I 100% understand your desire to leave!
Moderator R says
OMG ????
Alicia says
HO. LY. SHNIKES. You know, very little in horror scares me anymore. But apparently all I need to do is read this blog and the comments. I’m going to have nightmares tonight! ????
Alicia says
ASFHJKLJDSDHJKJFDSK NOPE! *full body shudder* I honestly don’t know how you’ve lasted this long. All your scorpion stories are horrific. But you keep one of my worst nightmares as a pet so I thought it didn’t get to you this badly.
If nothing else, I hope the week improves!
Nancy Tice says
If you don’t mind spring coming in May and sunset at 4PM in December, come to Maine! We have no scorpions, no poisonous snakes, and no bugs from November to April. We do, however, have snow, ice, and cabin fever in February.
Summers are nice, June-August.
Enjoy!
lena says
I’ll gladly keep the stink bug I flushed down the toilet this morning over the scorpion any day and pay the high IL taxes. My cousin moved to Florida, and I will never understand why anyone would live somewhere that you need to worry about alligators eating your pets and toddlers. Oh hells no.
Sharyn says
Wow you show real commitment in doing your miles despite the vomit. Perhaps Salem has developed an irritable tummy from a change in his food – sometimes manufacturers change composition of products without advising us.
Or in his maturity developed an allergy to wheat or something else in his diet. But he looks so healthy and glossy probably you feed him homemade gourmet meals !
I hope you solve the mystery.
My sympathies about the scorpion – these are the things that keep us awake at night!
Living in Australia I cannot recommend any USA sites but I would say fly screen everything.
My own experience living in a completely fly screened home in the Australian Northern tropics shows even that can fail. I went to the local clinic with a sore ear was revolted to have the decomposing parts of a large cockroach syringed from my ear! Good luck with your home search.
Jennie Baas says
Come to NC. Wonderful weather, with all 4 seasons.
I understand Hillsborough has wonderful literary/writing community.
With UNC at Chapel Hill & Duke University there is great health care here.
MariaZ says
My three cats upchuck everywhere in the house but they do it on the floor. I let it dry, they sometimes will eat it.
Tiana says
Ilona if it makes you feel any better (and it probably doesn’t) we have the exact same thing down here in Australia – just substitute venomous scorpion with venomous spider or baby snake. Doing the blanket, clothes and shoes shake out is just a part of life. So is looking under the rim of your toilet seat before you sit down.
You get used to it.
And we don’t even have the benefit of lower taxes ????♀️
Plus there is no where else to go…. Unless you jump across the pond to New Zealand.
Maybe you will feel differently in a few days. But if you don’t, would love to see where you settle down next.
Lib says
Ssssh… I was selling Australia on the no-venomous-scorpion pitch. Don’t ruin it by mentioning all the *other* poisonous things!
Out awesomeness makes up for it anyway
Ms blaise says
Didn’t someone get eaten by a shark in Sydney harbour this week….. just sayin!
CharisN says
You have my complete and total sympathy. I have a bite on my leg with two little red dots that I am keeping an eye on. I was out in the yard for a couple of hours knee deep in ferns trimming overhead tree branches and crape myrtles. Who knows what bit me? I don’t. sigh…..
CharisN says
Could the cat have eaten a scorpion?
Moderator R says
No, the cat vomiting issue precedes the scorpion and has been happening several times a week, unfortunately.
Kelly J Jacobs says
I’m really sorry about the scorpions and the one star.
Until you move, you might consider installing a netting to prevent them from coming through your vents. I had to do this to stop the large crickets that live under our house ( the netting is connected to the back side of the vent).
Dixie says
So, you could try northern Arizona. That’s where I’m at and, at almost 4 years, not a single scorpion have I seen. We have actual weather (all 4 seasons) and some really beautiful places. Plus, water.
And I’m sorry about the poor kitty! Vomit and scorpions do not a happy day make!
Hadley says
Wyoming has low taxes (no income tax and low property tax—the only thing the state likes to tax is extractive industries) and a distinct lack of scorpions. It does however spend 3/4 of the year dried up and we don’t so much have lakes as reservoirs, at least outside the high mountains. But the mountains are very scenic.
The wind howls though.
Chinook1981 says
Lived in Nebraska for 23 years before moving to TX. It has many good things, including family. Currently live in Cypress, TX…NW of Houston.. Thank goodness in 35 years of living in TX, I have never met a scorpion. Spiders, cockroaches, and assorted lizards… no big deal, scorpions?
I would come undone.
Allison J says
North Carolina is nice! No scorpions and you can have all 4 seasons in one week! It’s got it all, mountains, beach, hills and flats. Come check us out!
Jenn says
Norway is nice! No pests of the cockroach or scorpion variety. Unfortunately, the trade off is All. The. Winter.
TDoll says
I live in the Chicagoland area, which like everywhere else has its positives and negatives (including taxes). I’ve known people to move away to lovely locales and then come back for our medical centers, though!
I love reading about the areas you’ve lived in (and those writing on the blog). Happy hunting!!
John Hampton says
Come up north a bit to Oklahoma, we have lots of lakes and very few scorpions.
Lib says
Australia doesn’t have venomous scorpions, just saying…
jewelwing says
But everything else there is venomous, isn’t it? This kind of seems like misdirection to me. I remember the chapter on Australia from Douglas Adams’ book, Last Chance To See. Some zoologist told him just don’t get bitten.
Nicky says
Hello….so I’m a Vet in the UK. I know those bad days, well not the scorpion dropping on your head while on the toilet but the cat sick kind of days. You said your vet has done bloods and xrays. Hope you don’t mind if I offer a little advice too. If it carries on maybe ask them to do an ultrasound scan of the digestive system. Cats of their age can develop irritable bowel syndrome/inflammatory bowel disease as their immune system deteriorates due to age, which can lead to persistent and sometimes intermittent vomiting. It’s normally only found on a scan when you measure the depth of the intestinal wall or Endoscopy. It’s treatable and manageable too with medication and diet. Hope that helps a little. Fingers crossed for a better day ????❤
Bat says
Dear Ilona,
Georgia has scorpions. Louisiana has scropions. I assumeeverywhere in between probably has scorpions. I am not sure which states do not have scorpions. Please let me know when you find out.
Ms. Kim says
I recently read that the state of Ohio has the largest percentage native born
population. So there must be something good about Ohio, since people don’t leave.
But I recommend Madeira Beach, Florida. However the Florida coasts are expensive now, and maybe a Florida lake would be the way to go. We certainly have a lot of them.
Sherri says
Speaking as an Albertan, where it reaches -22F every winter, I can honestly say that I’d have left at “giant flying cockroaches”. At least the freezing weather is good for something! Good luck with your search!
Jesse Wendel says
In the late seventies, I lived near Clarksville TN during my military service in the Army. (Ft. Campbell.)
It is near an Interstate that takes you to Nashville in under an hour. And about an hour the other direction is ‘Land Between the Lakes National Recreation Area’ which is like having a National Park in your back yard, but one designed specifically for swimming, boating, water skiing, hunting, fishing, camping, and other outdoorsy stuff. It is wonderful!
https://www.landbetweenthelakes.us/
The western Kentucky/Tennessee border region is four seasons. The music scene in Nashville is, well, world class. And not just country music. Lots of pop gets recorded as well.
Also — no scorpions. Also — wonderful people. Very patriotic. They care about animals. And have the best horse racing farms in the country.
Beautiful countryside. Beautiful horse-filled meadows and farms. In winter the ice storms leave the trees and homes glistening bright in the morning sun. Fall is brisk, sometimes wet, and the region is filled with Norman Rockwell kids walking and cycling to their neighborhood schools.
The major negative is once you get away from Ft. Campbell, it is not nearly as diverse as a big city. And again, once you get away from the base, the politics turn deep red. However Nashville, blue like Austin, is under an hour away.
The whole region is beautiful. Very much worth checking out. Good luck.
Raye says
We would welcome you to Kate Daniels territory, here in metro Atlanta. We have lovely lakes.
Gypsy says
Is it possible said scorpion was dead due to the cat or the reason for the cat vomit? It could have been transferred during the cleaning phase?
Moderator R says
The cat had the issues before the scorpion, unfortunately.
Christina says
I live in California and all of these bug stories are creeping me out. I lived in the central valley where it gets really hot and there were bugs, but I’ve lived in the bay area for 25 years and we don’t really get bugs on the peninsula. Some spiders, sometimes. There are state taxes, but I keep reading states with no state taxes make up for it with property taxes. I’ve never verified that.
Sherri says
Ilona and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I would say hide under the bed until tomorrow but I’m afraid that’s where the scorpions are.
EL says
I have the same problem my almost ten year old long haired cat who is black vomits every couple of days. We did all the blood work and she is healthy. As long haired cats age they have a harder time processing their long hair the hair balls don’t come out on time and the hair stays in their stomachs so they vomit as a side effect.
Sakura says
NW Arkansas is nice. Ozark mountains, 4 seasons, mild weather, gorgeous scenery.
Cost of living is low, low taxes, and still close enough to Texas to visit.
I highly recommend at least a visit.
Rene says
Arkansas is beautiful in the Ozarks area. Lots of wonderful lakes.
Ms Blaise says
I’m confused? Could your inn not clean itself, expelling cat vomit to another dimension? Part of me also wondered why you don’t call Jim as alpha to deal with said cat.
Nikki says
Wow, scary and disturbing.
We’re very spoiled in England with only one venomous snake and nothing else dangerous really..a few storms on the weather front in the last week, not pleasant but not extreme compared to the US, beautiful and varied scenery and you’d be very welcome here! (just a thought.. ) 🙂
Fran says
my 18 yr old Birman is either vomiting or peeing in random places. Vomit is preferable, as often the dog cleans it up …
Grossness all around. Hope things for you involve less skin crawling, soon.
Leanne says
Hope your week improves! The biggest thing I didn’t like about TX/OK area was the seemingly constant threat of tornadoes every time it rained. Check out Norris Lake in East TN, I think you would love everything about the area.
Laura says
I live in Michigan close to Lake Michigan it’s beautiful here. Yes winters are long but the big lake keep most of the winter storms away.And you vacation in the winter because summer is the best here.
Simone says
Come to Bavaria, Germany. Lovely mountains, wide meadows, cool forests, clear lakes, Oktoberfest. We have four seasons, but the winters are getting milder because of climate change. We’re far enough away from the ocean, so we don’t get floods. No poisonous scorpions… ^^;;
We’re close enough to several borders so you can travel and see other countries easily.
My (American) stepfather moved to Germany over 20 years ago and he has no plans to go back. What he most appreciates is the social security, the health insurance and the good health system, where you don’t have to be afraid to go to the hospital. I can put you in touch, if you like… ^__^
Mary says
YES!!! You have articulated MY LINE TOO!!! You are okay, RIGHT?? I worry about you when you share horror stories regarding scorpions. They scare my blood out of my brain. I’m not trying to make this all about me, but you have scared me something Fierce!!! So I hope you find a nice place, and your life smooths out, (altho, SCORPIONS!!!) And, May the sun flow into your heart, and bring you joy.
Kitty says
Yep, move to Germany like Simone says. No real earthquakes, hurricanes, wildfires, blizzards, poisonous snakes, other natural disasters. Mostly so safe it is almost boring (and no scorpions or other weird critters).
Simone says
<3 <3 <3
Nancy says
Wow. I don’t blame you one bit! I hope you find the home and location of your dreams, and that it really stays a dream come true.
Tammy Glass says
More power to your move!!
The snakes would have been my breaking point!
Now to get the rest of the clan on board.
Good luck,
Tammy
Sarah P says
Texas has crazy high property taxes! It’s hard for me to recommend Colorado though, housing prices are crazy. And the wildfires are real. Also, very few lakes to live on.
Could it just be your house? We just moved 30min away to a much newer house, and went from 5 spiders/day to 2/yr.
Good luck!
reiko says
16 is old for a cat, so it’s not surprising things start happening with their health. I know you’ve visited the vet and have had tests done. I don’t know what was checked so I’ll just relate my experience.
My 12 year old cat started having diarrhea. Messy. Vet had no diagnosis after tests. So I changed her food. Did food trial with limited ingredient diet, novel proteins, waiting to see how she’d handle it over a few days. Simplest thing I could do myself. Was it necessary? For my heart and my sanity, yes. For her condition? Dunno. Might have stopped for other reasons. But if I give her her old food it’s diarrhea city again (paint the town).
savil says
Come to Maryland! or Northern-ish Virginia!
Dawn says
Yep, cat vomit, that’s a bad start to any day. No scorpions in Indiana, but lots of spiders which I hold in a kind of horrified fascination. No getting away from spiders, though. Thank God no scorpions, but if there were, I too would be packing my bags.
Dee T says
I am not okay with the giant flying cockroaches. They suck.
Laura says
Yep. Scorpions randomly on your person is definitely a “check please!” kinda moment.
Ashley says
Yes! Before we moved here, my husband sang the praises of the Hill Country. He never once warned me about scorpions.
Moving boxes into our new bedroom, I felt something on my neck. I bent over to put the box down and the scorpion fell off. I called the pest guy and he said he could come out the next week – I may have yelled about scorpions falling from the ceiling. He came out that day.
North Carolina is lovely, and there are no scorpions.
Ashley says
To be fair to husband, he did buy me a UV flashlight when I was pregnant, so I could check for scorpions on the way to the bathroom at night.
Alex says
What she said:)
Nan says
Since you couldn’t possibly get through your day without another total stranger telling you what to do, I am here to help.
It is incredibly rare to have wisdom dropped upon you by the heavens. You have to pay attention to that, right? You’re being shown a different path. Take it!
Our lives rarely get visited by giant pulsating arrows that tell us to go a different way. It happened to me once, I listened, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. You bring so much enjoyment to my life. Thank you. Now go get some for yourself!
………………..End of instructional session……………
Cin says
North Carolina doesn’t have scorpions. It has all the snake, mosquitos, hurricanes, but not scorpions.
Audreyt says
I’d recommend SE Nebraska, we’ve got four seasons, sometimes all in the same week 😉 and it’s pretty, not flat, as everyone says… but the taxes are outrageous. I used to be a NY’er. But NOPE. Ugh. The midwest is nice. I’m blessed I landed here by the grace of Uncle Sam and stayed… and stayed. Very glad I did. This is a great state with great people. Did I say I moved to farmville 5 years ago? Nice acreage. Nice distance from humans. Daughter 10 minutes away. I love the peace & quiet. I hope you find that great place for you.
David Suitor says
Try Vermont. God’s country for sure. Long growing season, beautiful fall, snowy winters, friendly people. We live in northwestern Vermont near to Lake Champlain. Good fishing there. The Missisquoi River flows through our town. We do have skeeters, ticks but they are manageable. Burlington is one of the best small cities to live or get a place just outside of the city proper.
Kyahgirl says
Hey, come to Alberta! Its kind of like Texas except without a coast, hurricanes, or scorpions in the ceiling. There is the small matter of 6 month long winters and sometimes it gets really freaking cold but, well, you know, the good with the bad.
Sympathy with respect to the aging feline friend. Its a tough stage of life for all involved.
DianaInCa says
Ugh, I would want to move too. Not big on the creepy crawlies. Funny thing is that on Sunday my husband and I went to go take a look at a property that was having an open house. We didn’t even get to look as they had already accepted an offer after being on the market 6 days. Good Luck on the house hunt.
=A says
Scorpions?
Keep your drinking glasses upside down.
Just sayin’.
Charmaine says
Take the vent down, cut a piece of tiny hole screen the size of the vent, and replace vent. Will keep tiny creatures from dropping on you from above.
Cynthia says
I understand. Oh, do I understand. If it weren’t for personal reasons, I’d be so out of Texas in a flash. I’ve been vacationing in different places around the country to figure out where to live. Good luck.
EarlineM says
This week has been diarrhea and vomiting. Every time I go out of town, it stresses the kitties to the point they either throw up or have diarrhea, but not until I get home to deal with it. *sigh*
When we were planning on retirement, I had a list…20 minutes from a shopping mall, college town or near one (so much cool stuff in a college town), 15 minutes from a good grocery store and enough restaurants near me that I wasn’t just going to McDonalds for fun. It worked out pretty well. Good luck with your search. That’s actually part of the fun to me.
Amber says
Come to the Florida Panhandle. We have all those other “fun” things but I’ve yet to have to fight scorpions in my house…thank fudge.
Julie says
My sympathies on the elderly cat front. 2 of ours are pushing 17 years and somebody likes to upchuck in surprising places in the wee hours of the morning. Western Oregon & Washington are nice and green and without scorpions (although we do have them on the drier eastside of the Cascade mountains a long with rattlesnakes).
Vinity says
Oh no. I’m so sorry. That is scary as hell. Good luck house hunting.
Mel says
Australia.
Sorry your Monday got off to a terrible start. Monday’s are awful as it is.
Lynn Thompson says
Bwah ha ha ha. Thank you, Ilona Andrews for the post. Oh, yes. I totally understand and agree with you.
I had a cat that liked catching and eating spiders. She developed a vomiting issue too. I thought was food allergies. Well Technically she did have a food allergy just not to kibble.
Then there was the one that loved to remove cockroaches legs and “play” . Well Felix was a true feline psychopath in more than one way. He didn’t kill and eat roaches so must have not been tasty enough. Shrug
I think anywhere in world you go there are pluses and minuses. Good luck on finding a location with more pluses than minuses and no falling scorpions.
Remember Mondays can occur on any day of the week not just days named Monday.
How is mystery knit coming along? I might have missed an update as Mother has needed me to chauffeur and be there for her this year. Yeah new doctor decreased her SAD medications in early December so she has been wallowing in pit of despair for past month. Sigh
Mahina says
Oh wow. Yup, I would be done as well. I hope it went better from there. The PNW is pretty nice and has lots of lakes. 😉
Sam E says
I know you are ready to bail on Texas but have you thought about property around Lake Conroe or Lake Livingston? I’ve lived in Spring for over 40 years and have spent tons of time around both of those lakes including camping and never once came across a scorpion. They are far enough inland that the effects of hurricanes are muted especially the Livingston area but are still close enough to Houston to enjoy the benefits of being close to the big city.
Mary says
So long as you are with the ones you love and near people you like I am sure you will find the right place for you
Sechat says
+1
Bigmama Battillo says
Deer Back Lake, a beautiful small private lake between Ocala and Gainesville, Florida. Remote, peaceful, no property taxes. University of Florida nearby for research and Shands Hospital for top notch medical care. Mayo Clinic nearby outside Jacksonville. Near Ocala, the tourist capital of the world. In north central Florida-good weather few hurricanes. Live in a very remote area which is near all amenities.
Bigmama Battillo says
Oh yeah-I forgot! We had 2 days of weather below 30 degrees last week. I think winter is over! 🙂
I am sitting in my side of our swing looking out over the lake. There is a lovely breeze off the lake-it is 84 degrees this afternoon. Supposed to have rain and bad weather over the weekend. Rats!
Jaye says
All I have to say is: Yikes!!! Scorpions. No.
Maybe Virginia?
Ali says
Come up to Washington! We have lakes, rivers, the ocean, minimal creatures, and Patricia Briggs!
Brianna says
You remind me of my opinion of CA: wonderful weather, horrible everything else. Horrible prices, horrible power grid, horrible taxes, horrible fires, horrible earthquakes, horrible water supply, and then the mandated paper straws just add insult to injury.
Linda says
I didn’t know scorpion size dictated venom powers….. Also, is it possible Salem killed said scorpion & the vomit was the result? I know when our cat(s) see insects they tend to play/kill/eat them. I know a scorpion isn’t an insect, but I’ve little doubt it would be something a cat would bat at.
Moderator R says
No, the vomiting issues preceded the scorpion and happen several times a week.
Katrina says
I had a silverfish fall out of a ceiling vent when sitting on a toilet. It scared me but omg that’s so much better than a scorpion.
Being a west coaster, Washington state also doesn’t have a state income tax. Or Oregon with no sales tax.
Mackenzee says
This happened to my friend days after she told me she didn’t think silverfish were that bad. I hate them with a passion – so creepy. But she thought they looked cool. Changed her mind lol.
Dawn says
Step back and take a break, how about a short jaunt to Oahu, Hawaii, beautiful sunrises and sunsets, generally wonderful weather all year around, only rains in the winter. Although super expensive, wonderful place to get away from scorpions, snakes, other other wild critters. We do however have flying bomber roaches!
Sue says
Good idea to move. Salem will be happier, too.
Deborah says
Maybe it was the scorpion made your cat sick. Sorry you had to deal with all that mess.
Moderator R says
No, as the article explains, the vomiting issues preceded the scorpion and have already been checked by a vet- vomiting episodes happen several times a week, unfortunately.
Ami says
That’s one of the top reasons why I like Houston over the oh so pretty hill country: no scorpions. We are HIGHLY anti scorpion. I got stung twice by a small Arizona bark scorpion in Phoenix. The kind that can kill you. Obviously I didn’t die but it was incredibly unpleasant and has left me highly anti scorpion long term. Would take a lot of doing to make me move back to scorpion territory. Imma pray for you.
Alex says
What she said:) Yes, Houston area seems to avoid a lot of the unpleasant bits of the rest of Texas. Including better weather:)
Rebecca says
Cats have a special talent for vomiting in the places that are hardest to clean. The rug on the hardwood floor— aiming for the fringe because that is even worse, down the floor heating vent, all over the lace curtains and back of the upholstered chair— all of these are places my cats have used.
Also, a least some of these vomit spots are passive-aggressive. My proof? I had a brand new (never worn) pair of cloth house slippers. I set them near the bedroom door and then later found one of them covered in cat vomit. I didn’t like it, but I thought, “Well, he couldn’t help it…” and cleaned it up. I parked the wet-but-clean shoe next to its mate and thought it might dry by bedtime. The next time I passed by my shoes I saw that Bosco had thrown up all over the OTHER shoe.
Little poop head— I know he was laughing as he did it.
Rena says
I will plug in that South Dakota has no state income taxes and not only no scorpions, but also no poisonous snakes.
On the other hand it gets really, really cold and the wind at times seems to never stop blowing. Upside is you could always tap into that and use some personal wind power for your home.
Honestly I would go for Hawaii. Not the big island, one of the smaller, less busy ones. They are heavily into solar power there, which is good. Plus they have incredible views and weather. No snakes of any kind, unless someone snuck one in and it escaped.
Kate says
But the pets have to go into a six month quarantine, it’s part of what keeps the islands healthy. IMHO the big island is a lot more rural than than Oahu…
Claire says
Heh, I’m originally from Michigan – I remember my first trip to Arizona for work – when the plane landed back in Michigan, I looked at my boss and said, “Home Sweet Home, where the grass is green and the critters that bite don’t kill you.”
That won’t do anything for the cat vomit, though. THAT is a universal problem
Mackenzee says
Omg. Okay. Bugs, insects, whatever falling on you while you are on the toilet. This is my legitimate nightmare and not the first time I’ve heard of it happening.
Shudder.
Linda Anderson says
Alaskans dont like creepy crawlers. We have spiders, mosquitoes, dragon flies, beetles that I have seen in 60+ years. No snakes, scropions, tarantula s etc. We have beautiful lakes, mountains, less people (which is a plus), but we do have long winters. Sometimes i forget what green looks like. The summers tho! Awesome!
Good luck relocating.
Rhyn says
Oh. Oh dear. Yes I think might be my bottom line as well. Mind you, wouldn’t it make a wonderful scene for something from the KD world? Maybe something to use when you are writing from your new, peaceful, green, scorpion-free home – once you have a bit of distance.
Callie says
New Zealand is pretty nice right now . I live by lake Taupo , the house next door is for sale 🙂
Kate says
I would so love to move to NZ! Even the legal system seems to make sense.
Linde says
Cape Cod
Linde says
My personal nadir was leeches
Kelly Wyatt says
Ayup! This is why I live where the air hurts my face! And not having to worry about paying for healthcare helps too!
Sechat says
I appreciate the way you feel. Not the same sort of trigger at all, but our neighborhood got overrun by house flippers/speculators etc near the top of the 2006-7 housing bubble. We lived in a suburban neighborhood of huge farmhouse style homes built as getaway 2nd homes for the upper middle class in the city, typically built on a least an acre of land. With so much land, there was a frenzy of demolishing the old houses to put up 3-6 attached row houses in its place. The influx of new homeowners overwhelmed the public services; library, public schools, parking, everything.
I was done the day that our neighbor had a foundation hole excavated in his front yard. When the construction was done, there would be less than 15 feet between the back of the new house and the generous front porch of the old house. The wonderful front lawn that was the domain of his 3yo and 5yo sons would be obliterated.
I was done. The for-sale sign was up on our house 6 days later. As I said, a completely different kind of trigger, but you know when you.are.done.
Amanda Carter says
I would have been out at the first flying cockroach
Rhonda says
I am with you!! Come to Missouri. We don’t have nearly as many creepy crawlies, and there are lakes everywhere. Things don’t get brown and crunchy until August.
TWAndrews says
If you don’t mind dry air, Colorado is lovely.
Sherri says
I can’t wait for the dreaded “drop scorpion” to make an appearance in some future book.
ChelleyPam says
Oh! Maybe it can be a construct.
Or it’s the one thing that either Arabella or Leon absolutely cannot stand with hilarious results.
Jan says
I have an elderly rescue cat who vomited all the time. I switched her to kitten chow, both canned and kibble. I feed her smaller amounts of the canned 4 times a day and free feed the kibble. She seldom vomits now. Don’t know if that helps.
kitkat9000 says
Had a number of cats, all of whom would vomit at various times. Cat Chow did wonders for mine as well. The vet was stumped- he had no idea why they didn’t vomit on CC but considering that cats are known for that, he agreed that changing brands was a non-starter.
Roxanne Montgomery says
Coastal MS and AL are lovely and NO SCORPIONS. LMAO Plus, we have beaches!
kitkat9000 says
>My line is at the damn scorpions falling on me from the damn ceiling.
Oh, wow. And I thought finding a millipede running up my bare leg while in a similar position in the bathroom was bad. Yikes.
Maria M. OToole says
I would have drawn the line at the damned cockroaches. Or the fire ants. Most insects (except earwigs) don’t aggravate me. But the cockroaches are one more reason I would never live in Florida.
Marnie says
I don’t blame you. All it would take is for me to find one scorpion in my house and I’d be outta there. I live in California, Mill Valley to be specific, which is Northern California. We have no scorpions, just the big beautiful Pacific Ocean. Yes, it’s expensive here, but again, no scorpions.
ChelleyPam says
Move to the Ozarks. Sure your nearest neighbor may be three miles away, but the country is beautiful and the land is still relatively cheap.
Jackie says
I’m so sorry for both you and the cat. It can’t be pleasant to be vomiting all the time. The only worse thing is cleaning up after it.
BTW, lake Michigan is a beautiful lake. You should try it. No scorpions.
Sue says
Lol! You go girl!
LizMiss says
When I was 4 or so, Mamma and I were in the carport (in Alabama) and a big scorpion was just sitting between us and the walkway into the house. She gingerly stepped on it and dozens of baby scorpions scattered in all directions. Lots of dancing and screaming.
LizMiss says
I’ve lived in the south much of my life where lots of scary insects live-but the WORST scare was when I was in Chicago. I picked up a handkerchief and raised it to my face and something tickled my upper lip. A HUGE hairy spider had crawled under the fold. The exterminator said it was an unusually cold winter and critters migrated inside for warmth.
Rebecca F says
Have lived in Southeast Texas for a long time, no scorpions spotted but, there was that little ‘gator in the back yard. You choose your battles. At least the ‘gator wasn’t in the house.
Logan Matthew Teague says
Have you considered Idaho? I hear it’s a fantastic place to live, which the locals try to keep quiet because they don’t want a ton of people moving in. Personally I like Kansas (my home state). We don’t get hurricanes, mudslides, wildfires, and we never used to get earthquakes but the frakking is starting to change that. Also we have all four seasons, which is nice. I like hot summers, and I like snow in my winters. I don’t know how the taxes compare to other states, never looked into it. One downside I know is we don’t get restaurants very well, I know of several chains I want to try, only their closest location is either Texas or Minnesota.
Logan Matthew Teague says
Had a similar but lesser experience in the shower once. Was about to lean against the wall when I looked and noticed a black spider with a red hourglass on its abdomen right where my shoulder was about to go. I may have screeched, no one can prove it
Janet R. Robinson says
Come to Maine. We have lakes here. We have ocean here and mountains. With climate change, we’re getting alot warmer. We are also getting 12 inches of snow tomorrow.
Yvette says
I vote lake house. sending you virtual hugs! 🙂
Alex says
1.5 years ago I moved to Cinco Ranch/ Houston area from Durham, NC and I’ve never seen a scorpion. After HA’s post I freaked out & googled it and relaxed as it’s not an issue in my area but we aren’t supposed to use cardboard boxes in the garage, etc., So we’ll stay:) But If I had scorpions in my house, I’d move too! I miss NC although I love the weather In Houston. I can’t handle darkness and hard winters so I stay in the South.
Debra says
Years ago, my employer had to vacate 4 buildings they occupied in DFW area due to lease not being renewed. They built a 6 building complex in one of the burbs working 24/7 in 14 months. The 1st week we moved in, there were snakes falling out of the ceiling vents into offices / conference rooms. We still had to move in.
Felecia says
Come to southeast Virginia, no scorpions. We do have tropical storms; but the outer banks of North Carolina sticks out into the Atlantic and protects us from the worst of the hurricanes.
Amy says
I had a cat that was a dead ringer for Salem right down to the yellow eyes. He went through a projectile vomit phase. It was delightful. He’d wake me up at three a.m. puking across the bed. It turned out he needed Kitty-lax (hairball) treatment. You might want to try that if you haven’t already. Oh, and check out Charlottesville Va. Crozet is gorgeous and everybody knows the Blue Ridge Mountains are the prettiest mountains evuh, with the sole exception of the Canadian Rockies and there’s wine. Lots of wine. Just ask Jeanine. She knows.
DawnD says
I am extremely sympathetic. A friend of mine decided to move out of NYC the moment a large rat came up through her toilet while she was using it. There are lines.
Ariel Byrne says
I would give 2 stars because the scorpion was dead.
Melisa M. says
You should consider California esp southern California but that’s cause I’m biased 🙂
I believe Gordon said he was stationed in San Diego at one time…maybe he loved it??? Weather is awesome and u can be near the ocean or at least within short driving distance (the ocean is not a fav of mine but lots of ppl love it haha.)
Elizabeth Bailes says
Try Tennessee. Lots of lakes, four seasons, and super low taxes. No scorpion either. ????
Cymru Llewes says
We live almost on Lake Winnipesaukee and several houses in our neighborhood are for sale… but you would probably be happier in eastern North Carolina than up here.
It was the heat, the humidity, the mosquitoes, and to be honest the people (as well as my family) that we moved out of Pitt County.
Hellen M. says
Come to Iowa, we may have more snow, but no scorpions, and beautiful lake and riversides(as long as your careful of flood plains)
Evan Fleming says
Suggest nwst ar move from Texas over 30 rears ago and have not missed it is in top ten places to move
Carrie says
We don’t have scorpions in Wisconsin!
Mary says
I hate bugs, I would be freaking out for sure. So come on up north! Yes, winter is not a temporate season but it has its moments and the other 3 are fine! Plus, I am in the Chicago area, you can never get enough of the Great Lakes!
NicoleAllee says
And Murder by the Book. And the Texan BDH. But otherwise, sure. So done with Texas.
Moderator R says
Definitely not leaving the Texan BDH or the lovely bookstores! Just the scorpions 🙂
Kate says
Connestee Falls. Near Brevard, NC. 4 lakes, lovely trails, interesting people. Kids should come too, a part wolf would enjoy the deer…
Moreen Carvan says
Milwaukee has a lake…and there are no scorpions. Or roaches the size of mice. There are deer, coyotes, wolves, badgers, bears, rabbits, turkeys, and on exceptional days, hawks and bald eagles.
Its expected to fare well in the global warming lotto, too.
Sara says
I totally ❤️ This. I would draw the line near the flying cockroaches. Fwiw NH is blessedly free of nasties and has a great tax structure… and lakes…