Awhile ago, someone commented on the blog asking if I ever felt out of place. She said she lived a truly boring life, and it was good but unexpected, and sometimes she wondered how she even got there.
As I look back at the frenzy of this weekend, this seems especially relevant. I have a zoom meeting, a google meeting, and a phone call scheduled today, all business, all unrelated to the fact that the pirated copy of Magic Claims is still up. I’m not longer furious about it. I have too many other obligations at the moment.
The novel is sitting at 114,000 words and will be longer by the end of today. We have 4 scenes left, and I hope we can string them together into a good, explosive finale. We found a map artist, Becka of Tigeress Designs. I’m very excited about this, because the book desperately requires maps. Yesterday I worked on that contract, sent it with a w9, got the documents back, got the invoice, paid the first deposit, and today I will need to print, countersign, scan, and send back.
I found Becka on Inkarnate Discord. This was my first time using Discord for something business related. A milestone, I suppose.
Still need to find an artist for the crests. Each family has these elaborate crests in the novel, which serve as a form of ID. It’s an essential part of the world. At formal occasions, clothes match the colors of the crests. I’d like to get the crests drawn up, so we can have them as supplemental illustrations.
Is it a strange life? Yes. I did not see myself here when I came to the US years ago. I saw myself as a scientist working for someone else. That story is here, so I won’t rehash it.
As Gordon says, my life’s aspirations at that point were shaped by other people. First, my parents, who insisted on certain benchmarks being met: graduate from high school, attend college, select from a narrow array of majors they found acceptable, get an advanced degree, work in my specialty.
After I came to the US, parent influence was replaced by teacher influence. I’ve met many teachers who thought that their area of study was amazing, and since I was smart and receptive to learning, they wanted to mentor me and steer me toward following in their footsteps. They were well meaning, but Gordon was the first person who actually asked me what I wanted to do with my life.
Gordon says he often wonders how the hell we got here. When we met, he was out of the Navy and a freshman in college. His major was English, and he had vague ideas about being a journalist. He quickly decided that the English department wasn’t for him and switched to History.
Shortly after we got together, he started aiming for a career in academics, specifically teaching at a college level. WCU is located in an isolated pocket of Smoky Mountains, where jobs were very limited at that time. The biggest employers were the paper mill, the hospital, the casino on the Cherokee Reservation, and the college. Of all those, the college promised a much better life. Let alone being a professor, being support staff for WCU was considered an achievement.
Things did not go as planned. I think we can all agree that it’s for the best. But is it strange? Yes. Even after we became writers, unpredictable plot turns continued. If you showed me this week’s schedule 16 years ago, after we started professionally writing, I wouldn’t know what to make of it. At that point, my professional life was limited to writing a manuscript and gingerly handing it in to the publisher.
There is a sense of weirdness that permeates my life. Occasionally it twists things in unexpected directions. And I think it infected the kids as well. I tried my best to steer them toward a college degree. Instead, one of them is editing comics and working on a game and the other is on her second novel. She trunked the first one on our advice. It was publishable but it didn’t quite showcase her style. You only debut once, unless you change your name. It’s far better to come out of the gate with something that’s truly you.
It’s harder, I think, to have that much weirdness. It complicates our lives, but it also enriches them. For better of worse, if we had a crest, the words on it would read “Expect the Unexpected.”
Are there strange twists in your life? Do you ever look back and wonder how you have ever gotten to where you are?
I’m never first. There must have been a mistake somewhere. 😀
I was educated to be a teacher and switched to library science at the end of my junior year. I actually ended up working as a waitress, a prep cook, and eventually as a store clerk because of the economy. I did a lot of part time stuff but don’t regret it. I had a family and sometimes you make choices that benefit them instead of making more money. Also, when you need to pay the bills you take the stable job you can find at the time. It all worked out well eventually. The kid is grown with her own family and job and my husband and I are comfortable.
Many medical issues, divorce, deaths in the family… all were major turning points that changed the trajectory of my life.
I’m not at all where I thought I’d be but it truly turned out for the best so I’m nothing but grateful.
I’m also grateful your life changed as it did because you bring so much enjoyment to my life!
I always had a vague idea of getting into publishing or editing one day, maybe working at a library. After finishing my English Literature degree I was so burned out on reading as work that I didn’t pick up a novel for a few years. I went into teaching young children and then worked at a winery. Now I’m a stay-at-home mom who helps out at school and is a room parent. I am conscious of the fact that my daily tasks are considered boring and unexciting, but I like my life. It’s enjoyable. I have learned to steer conversation from careers and jobs to interests and hobbies.
When you are old you will never think- I should have made more money and spent less time with my offspring! I’m retired now and treasure the memories of time I was able to spend with my kid. By the way, when a mother is fixing pancakes for teens in her kitchen, she is invisible. I would have pancake suppers for her and her study group with bowls of berries, different toppings and whipped cream. Amazing what you may hear!
One of my kid’s friends asked for the pancake recipe as a wedding present!
I studied 5 long years at a university at my father’s insistence. He didn’t care what I studied as long as I did complete a university degree.
My main focus was on having a career with a base in DK, but with lots of travel and periodically long stays abroad on other peoples dime. When I started studying I had to switch majors because the one I was doing, was with teaching in mind. I didn’t wanna teach! I wanted to see the world and not pay for it and help people at the same time!
So I settled on English and development work. I finished my thesis in 2012-the worst year to graduate in as there were literally only one field that was hiring: Teaching High Schoolers.
I figured I could teach English one year, try NOT to kill some rude high schooler, get som much needed income and apply to other jobs on the side. To my shock, the pay in this field is actually decent, if not good in DK. Furthermore, I discovered I actually have a talent for teaching. 10 years later and I’m still doing it and loving it. I’ve yet to apply to that other job…
Oh I’ve still seen large parts of the world- I’ve just had to pay to it myself. 🤷🏻♀️
All the time. I look back at my life and am amazed at how I got here. I can very much relate to you and Gordon on this.
I was raised in rural Missouri. The expectations living in rural areas are graduate high school (or get a GED), get a job or go to college, meet your significant other in college, get married after college, and settle back to where you grew up. I took the go to college route by going to my local community college before going to what would become my first of three alma maters. I completely smashed the “what you should do while living here” expectations. I wanted to go to medical school but switched to History (early American history was my focus).
Then, after my dad passed, I went to Oklahoma to go to law school. That didn’t work out. So, I went back to school to get a master’s degree locally. The only concentration I could get a master’s degree in public health was in health administration and policy. So, that’s what I got it in and fell head over heels for health policy. A lot of people thought I was weird. Then I couldn’t get a job in my field so I worked in retail at minimum wage until I was fed up with it. Then I researched getting my doctorate. I wanted to keep with public health, but where? After a long search (and lots of frustration), I decided to apply to one of the schools in Fort Worth.
After getting rejected for a master’s degree, I thought it was strange, and went to the school to find out what happened. I told the person who was eventually my department chair that I would get my doctorate. Whether it was in health policy or in biostatistics I would get it. I have the most ironic degree on the face of the Earth. I told myself after getting my master’s degree I wouldn’t have to take anymore biostatistics classes. 😀
I shake my head when I look back to see where I came from to where I am now. If someone told me over 10 years ago I would be where I’m at now, I would shake my head and tell them, “are you kidding me?!”
The master’s degree was from a school in the Tulsa area (just for clarification).
Patricia – https://www.publichealthcareers.org/
(FYI: I work here – https://www.astho.org/about/careers/ Main office is in Arlington, VA but everyone works remote.)
Since you’ve asked …. There have been a lot of twists in my life, most of them nowhere near so odd as several of yours, but the choices have almost all been mine.
I’ve never had anybody ask what I wanted and actually mean anything other than I was making a lot of unnecessary trouble. So I finally decided to hell with it and just went with what I wanted. It’s worked for me, and I do like living alone.
are you taking submissions for the crest illustration?
Hi Emily,
If you are interested in the artist commission, please contact me at modr@ilona-andrews.com and share a link to your portfolio or samples of your previous work 🙂
My husband very often says, “I don’t know how in the hell we got here.” Since I grew up in NM and we came back to take care of my parents…I can understand how a brilliant engineer/tinkerer/golfer/meticulous guy scratches his head over living in the wilderness, looking for lost cows, fixing generators on a regular basis and putting out rat traps every day this year … can ask that question! But, our crest would read: No Regrets and Never Back Up Further Than You Have To.
I’m glad you two became writers and that you share so much on the blog. I enjoy the wandering, the advice, the little gems of wisdom.
I was asked at my last significant birthday what I would do differently if doing it again: I had to say that, although I recognise the big mistakes I made along the way, I wouldn’t want to change anything if it meant I didn’t end up with the life, partner, (step)children, etc that I have now.
My husband is an artist and would be interested in doing your family crest. If you’re interested please email me and I’ll give you his email. I’m not sure how else to contact you guys seeing as how this is not a technical difficulty 😁
ModR answered this for another person, so I think it works for you too. Just look at the posts before yours. Cheers
Please have him contact me at modr@ilona-andrews.com with a link to his artistic portfolio 🙂
When I go on interviews, I hate the “where do you see yourself in 5 years” question, because it’s kind of asking you to be arrogant, IMO. Like you KNOW everything that’s out there and you know where you want to go. I came from a small town and went to the University of Michigan where the stadium at the time could hold 10x my home town. In my junior year I took a class called Introduction to Television. It wasn’t related to what my career was going to be, but it filled one of an elective slot.
I LOVED that class. I had no idea you could make a career of that. We town had one high school and we didn’t have any A/V classes so this would never have occurred to me to be a career. I changed my major and after graduation worked in television production (local news level) for about 10 years, then discovered a different career that branched off that job.
Here I am 30 years after college and my career is nothing like what I thought I’d do when I was in high school. So I don’t answer the “in 5 years” question, but it doesn’t allow for the possibilities that you might discover in that time.
I always say nobody is on Plan A!
So excited for the maps and the crests! If the crests are a success can they make some vampire house crests, too????
I know BDH always asking for more!
😊
I agree. Love maps and crests. Artistic in their own way. I would love a sewarshirt with one of the IA house crests! Can’t wait. Love all these answers. What a great question. Pancake mom I too want the recipe. Stay at home mom you are a goddess. It’s ok if no one realizes.
I would absolutely love a hoodie with a House Krahr Crest! Manifesting this!🤞
I wanted to be an actor, double majored in English and Theatre, and found my way to arts administration. Had a 20-year career there, lost a theatre to the recession, and now I’m a professional bookkeeper for small businesses. Who knew?
I feel like these crests are potentially a money making opportunity. If you had some crests made for whichever family we are going to like and want our own personal instances of a crest and then sold them on your merch store, I would buy one.
Like the houses in Harry Potter – what a gold mine those were.
I was going to get my PhD in Experimental Psychology. Was actually in grad school with my life planned out but my husband was unexpectedly transferred to somewhere I couldn’t continue my studies. Somehow I eventually worked my way into technical writing and found my “true” calling. How I got there was a long, strange path but I think I’m happier than I would have been. Guess you just never know.
In 1977, I graduated from UGA (MBA with a concentration in Finance). I fully expected to be some level of banker or finance controller. I got a job offer from Six Flag over Georgia as an assistant controller. But that was a really long commute from where I wanted to live.
I happened to have gotten an “A” in FORTRAN in college and somehow got a job offer of programmer trainee for a retail store chain in Atlanta. The offer was for the same salary as the controller job and was *much* closer to where I wanted to live. I worked there for 4 year and then got hired by IBM and worked for them 30+ years – very different than what I expected.
I completely get life taking a different trajectory (and the parents trying to guide them). My parents wanted me to be an anesthesiologist, even though I never took a chemistry class in high school. I have two masters and work in neither field, though I did work as a corporate librarian for five years after the second masters but grew tired of justifying my job to management.
I now work in IT for the government, which would have been unimaginable when I was in grad school or even 5 years ago when I was intentionally in the BTB private sector to not be that person in DC who was depending upon the government or Congressional parties using my job as a political token. But . . . Here I am and a public servant.
Life is most interesting for those twists and turns. Also, I am now an advocate for other humanities majors to IT Project Manager as a career- we are great candidates for our communication and reasoning skills.
Good for you. Civil service is still service.
I am still in school, but i get the twisting turning life ideas. i have always wanted to be a teacher or philosopher, but i am finding myself pulled more and more towards fiction and poetry writing. it could possible be because of a certain author’s books and blog posts 🙂 , but it might also be something else. *shrugs here*
also, on a kind of unrelated note, i am writing a short story that has some sword fighting scenes in it. the only good examples of sword fights in literature that i know of is in Kate Daniels. soooooo, i was wondering what the BDH’s general consensus on what the best Kate Daniels sword fighting scene was. 🙂
The Hugh v Kate scenes in Magic Rises ! And good luck with your writing !
Thank you!!!
Oh how can I choose? Fighting with Iron And Magic guy probably.
Two years ago, I had just started a new job being a legal assistant to a lawyer. I had just graduated with a good law school bachelor degree, and I was working in order to achieve a master’s degree and pass the bar. I lasted 4 months.
Now I’m the proud owner of my own second hand brand shop. The shop was a mere idea a year ago. Now, I’m not earning much money, but it makes me so happy everyday !
Life takes strange turns, I’m barely 27, and I’m excited for what’s to come.
Ooh the crests sound intriguing, I hope you find the right artist for it! My life has taken some unexpected twists and turns, although I don’t know if I’d call them weird. Like I got an engineering degree in college because it seemed like a smart choice, but never practiced in that field. And I never planned to leave Manila and work abroad, but have spent almost a decade working in Singapore. I always believe that things will always work out, even though we end up somewhere we never expected.
Yup.
A few years ago, I’d be in my own damn living room, and have the thought, “Where am I?”
I knew. I was in my living room.
But…this house? California? How?!?
I’m writing from a lanai in Kauai, watching the sunrise. We come here every year, more or less. When I was a kid I didn’t know anyone who ever went to Hawaii, except as maybe to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary, deep into retirement, as a last bucket-list trip.
How did I get here? I know, but I really don’t know.
Oh always. I think the best thing you can tell your kids about life is how unexpected it is. That you will be a different person than you think and that is better than OK, it is fabulous!
I had an undergrad degree in political science and planned to get a Masters in International Studies because I wanted to work at the US Embassy in the Soviet Union. I found Russian history fascinating. But during my Masters program I had to teach undergraduates and I loved teaching. I switched to education in secondary social studies and English. I have loved teaching. My students were all I could have asked for. I have great relationships with former students. I still meet them for conversations and meals and, prior to Covid, we would do movies together. I have attended their weddings, and sadly, one funeral for a former student’s spouse. As a youth I would never have imagined my life as a teacher but I wouldn’t change it for anything.
This is awesome. Thank you so much. I do wonder “How did I Get here?” all of the time. I am very happy but life did not go the way I planned. I was going to be a teacher and my husband was going to be a chemist. Then I found out that I was a terrible teacher and he got a lifelong illness. We thought our children would have successful careers and someday move away but keep in touch. We did not expect them to have severe disabilities and still be living with us.
And yet I am very happy. I am now the director of a small library and everyday I am surrounded by people who love me. I consider myself very lucky.
A definite YES!
I am at a crossroads in my life. I am divorcing my husband of 21 years. Our life has been just of convinience for the last 10 or so. Now the son is 20 and starting his own life.
I am quitting my casino job (26 years) and start a new job with the Zürich Police at airport passport control.
I started with Korean series 3 month ago and started to learn Korean, just for the fun of it 🤪!
I lost 12 kg and started to like myself again. So: yes I am turning 50 next year and life is weird but there are still a lot of new things out there! 🤗👍
Greets from Switzerland
Inga
Go you!
Hey another Swiss girl and with a love for ZRH! Worked there almost 10 years.
Greets and I wish you as much fun at the airport as I had.
So many twists! Moved to Atlanta when I never thought I’d move south of my own free will (away from dear grandparents and home)… finally moved back after 5years of sadness .. I was supposed to be a marine biologist saving the world. Now I’m a microbiologist validation specialist for a bio pharmaceutical company… I know that doesn’t seem that far out but there’s a big difference in what I do compared to what my younger self imagined…corporate culture versus academia…in the mix I’ve become a horse polo mom and that’s changed my life because I never thought I’d trade beach life for barn life!!!
I took the path you didn’t take Ilona and became a scientist working for someone else. I like it and it’s very fulfilling. When I was a kid I wanted to be an author. I loved and still love reading. But it was much harder to become an author in my opinion. School was easy for me and less risky.
I never thought I would move away from my family. I thought I would have had kids by now. My marriage is everything I ever wanted it to be so that’s something good. Overall my life is the most boring. But plenty of people have it much worse so I’m very grateful for what it has become.
Needless to say we are thankful you became authors!
So true. My husband and I often said (after watching the Addams Family) that our family motto should be “we laugh in the face of disaster”. Because we did and still do. It’s just another disaster. Laugh and move on.
yes! I call it the lucky unlucky!
days after we, as younguns, in 2009 bought our house, a tree fell on it. the previous owners were still occupying and everything. our realtor called me up and I could tell something was up from her hello. when she told me the news, my 23 year old self just started belly laughing. turns out the damage was really minor. everyone was fine. we were planning to replace the roof anyway, so in my mind it was just a thing. but I’m pretty sure I felt the breath of relief through the phone when I took things so well!
if a tree is gonna fall on your house, it’s pretty kind of it to do it right before you replace the roof. 😀
I had not read your Road to Publication story until today. I clicked the link and WOW. I was tearing up by the end when you finally got the call and then listed some of your milestone accomplishments; proud of you. I’m so happy you kept at it. I can’t imagine how you got through the initial few years but I’m so glad you did! You are 100% my favorite author. I can’t imagine my life without your stories. Every series is excellent. I love your style of writing and I can’t wait to see what new characters and adventures you bring us!
I don’t think we get thru life with everything going as planned, we start with the concept of where we think we should go and then life happens, we grow , we change, our interests change. I certainly did not see where I am today, what we have to learn is to appreciate what we have now and roll with the punches as they come.
First and foremost: in your case, thank goodness for the beautiful, unexpected, (and might I add prolific!!!) “weirdness” in your lives! The BDH salutes it and you every day! 💕💕
In my case, I won an elite summer journalism scholarship in high school, got to college and realized that despite everyone else trying to convince me I was wrong I did not want to be a journalist, decided to major in sociology…then psychology….then political science(??!!!)….then to leave school all together, then had a very long career in IT (which I was good at but really hated…but bills to pay, you know? Yeah, not a great reason for making this career choice but it worked out ok and paid for the life I have now.)
So now, at the ripe young age of almost 65 and with NOBODY who can tell me a darn thing (though they do try!😂) I am retired and finally doing what I want! I am writing (poetry mostly), doing arts and crafts (drawing, painting, making jewelry, doing embroidery), reading (a LOT!), and creating tons of new recipes, spending a lot of time cooking and baking and then often giving the results away. (Food is my love language!)
So here’s what I’ve learned (and what I tell my college-age daughter all of the time): we aren’t just one thing (career or otherwise), nothing has to be permanent, there is always another page to turn over if you just look for it, it’s not the end of the world (even if it feels like it is), and it’s never ever too late to try something new! Oh, and if all else fails, take a deep breath (preferably outside), then eat some chocolate and maybe take a nap! 😁
I’m not a particularly creative person (I’m the one below with the good but truly boring life), but I LOVED your last paragraph! So true.
Absolutely! There have been some real challenges and I have zero regrets. Being true to self is not for the faint of heart. I personally am delighted you made the choice to “take the road less traveled”. What fun and joy your books have brought to others.
I think that unexpected twists might be the norm for a lot of people. I started college in mechanical engineering because my mom said it was a good career for a woman. I didn’t know what an engineer did, so I got a degree in music education. In the student teaching stage I discovered I don’t really like kids. I stumbled into accounting and have been there ever since. But I also wrote fan fiction, read fan fiction, and eventually proofread fan fiction for my friends. Then came the copy editing certificate because I loved editing so much. Now my second job is editing novels, and I’m leveraging it into my next career after I retire from the day job. This is life. Just like you, I started out trying to fulfill other persons’ dreams, and it took a while to realize what mine really were.
I graduated with a degree in Rhetoric and a minor in Aerospace Management….Wanted to go into advertising or PR for the airlines. 40 years later, I am a part time librarian and my passion is breeding and training bloodhounds, where I’m a fairly big fish in a very small pond :-). Life is weird. I wrote fiction and poetry intensively for 20 years but never published other than occasional magazine submissions. I don’t know where I lost that, and its the only part of my life that I wish I still had. But, if a time portal opened up and I could tell my younger self what I did now, I think I’d have been ok with it
I just turned 33 recently and yes, my life is very different than I expected.
I originally thought I was going to be a teacher then I thought I was going to be a c-suite executive at Disney. Life happened. I dropped out of high school, got my GED, and ended up working in health insurance.
It makes me wonder about the Kats living in alternate universes that turned left when I went right or didn’t drop out of high school in their senior year. 🙃
Some of the Kats in the alternate universes are c-suite executives who maybe love their jobs but still often daydream about having simpler lives because of the stress their jobs bring. Others are older Kats who dropped out of high school and are wishing they had gone back and gotten their GED because they think they’re too old to get it now. (They’re wrong.) 😁
This was sweet to read. Thanks, potential alternate Kat! 💜
This is one reason among many why I love the BDH.
Majoring in history is probably a better choice for people who want to write interesting fiction. If worse comes to worse they can Segway that into some type of high school teaching degree or a masters in library science degree without having to go the full ph.d route.
When I was in college I had a friend who was taking German classes. And I remember thinking “who wants to learn German?” I also thought I would never visit Germany, I imagined it cold and dirty. Cue ten years after that and I was moving to germany, where I still am 14 years later. And I now speak German.
Spoiler alert: Germany is not always cold nor dirty.
I wanted to be a veterinarian but switched to an education degree once I realized I didn’t enjoy the high level chemistry and physics required. I changed my major to education and was half way through my degree when I got into a major car crash. I had such a bad concussion I backed out of school for a year. I volunteered at a local rescue during that time and then went back to school and got a degree in non profit management. I ended up married and pregnant not long after. I was working for an educational nonprofit and loving my job but my baby girl would not take a bottle. I became a stay at home mom. After many years and many children I am in the process of starting a flower business. I have been breeding flowers and hope to release some to a commercial company within the next year. I have a book I finished writing that needs editing. I have created homeschool curriculum that I hope to release soon.
In grade school, my son had the assignment to ask 5 people what the major decisions were in each decade of their life (you could only pick one) and how those choices changed their lives. He and I have discussed that assignment many times as he tries to navigate working, going to college, and taking time off to thru hike the Appalachian Trail. It is interesting to look back and wonder what if you had chosen differently.
I’ve spent my whole life wishing to through hike the AT. But there was never enough time nor money to be without work for months. I’m 70 now and still wish for it, tho it’s now very unlikely. So I say if it’s his dream, do it now. Life just puts more and more constraints on your time and energy as you age.
I agree. My daughter hiked 850 miles of the AT before she ran out of money. But she is still glad she did it when she could. Like one of her supervisors who hiked parts in his youth, I couldn’t do it now; with rods and screws in my spine, I can’t carry a full pack. You don’t know what kind of blocks life will throw at you down the road, and experiences like hiking the AT are transformative.
I am the family member they talked about around the kitchen table. Went to collage in ’78 and wanted to go into Genetics. They offered a new major in Computer Programming but didn’t take it. Ended up leaving after a year to live in England and work as a barmaid. Returned (just before they deported me) and worked as a Bank Teller. Moved on to work for an Airline and traveled quite a bit. Then became a Ballroom Dance Instructor (very fun!). Then, to earn a living, worked in the Payroll industry. Ended up as a Payroll Systems Analyst for the past 17 years and will retire in 2 weeks. Full circle on the computer work and an unexpected life well lived.
Your journey, though weird, worked out well. Though sometimes we have no clue where we’re headed while we’re puttering along. You think you’re going in one direction and end up headed in another. It’s rather sobering.
My journey was weird too: First a registered nurse, then ditched that career to work at a Radio Shack, then at two radio stations and an accounting firm. When I moved to a bigger city I went to school to become a travel agent and graduated right at the beginning of the first Persian Gulf War. Timing was not my thing. Then I was a copywriter at a graphics firm writing ad copy for Service Merchandise, WalMart etc. That job taught me how to flip a sentence in a zillion ways and sent me overseas to Asia. Ohhkay, then.
Looking back I realized each of these previous jobs gave me skills I’d need as an author. Since I have a low boredom factor, this is the perfect gig for me. Weird, yes, but what I was meant to do. Just like you two.
In the early 90’s I was double majoring in Biology and Chemistry planning on getting into Biogenetics until my narcissistic husband (eventual ex) talked me into quitting college because it took too much time away from him and he wanted me to work more so he had more money to spend. After 10 years of working jobs I hated and grinding to get promotion after promotion and even often working two jobs I finally wised up and ditched the ex. By that time I had fallen into working in IT first as a Business Analyst then as a Project Manager and it turned out that I was very good at both and liked the work. Finally went back to college and finished three undergraduate degrees and two Masters. Ended up moving in with my parent to help them as they aged. My parents both have passed and I inherited their house which is paid in full and am 27 years into a very nice career in IT that I will hopefully retire from in eight years with both a 401k and a pension. I never remarried by choice and am very happy on my own.
Like many of the rest of you, my imagination did not take me to where I am now. The universe has shined on me, every hardship, struggle and scary thing was worth it. I have lived multi generationally since my kids graduated college. I want this happy healthy life for at least the next 30 years so I can see my grands leading their life and watch where their adventures take them.
Be careful what you ask for works both ways and has truly manifested itself in my life. It seems to me off-hand comments can really manifest themselves. Years ago, about 29, my daughter (age 12 then) and I decided we wanted a house that had a front and back stairway. Over 12 years ago her husband, their 2 kids and I moved into that house. We moved out of a duplex I co-owned with her brother. The weird, strange way we got here came with joy, love, pain, sorrow, struggle. I kept believing that the light at the end of the tunnel wasn’t a train. Thankfully, for me, time lessens the pain of events, reminds you of the joy and offers hindsight to see how the path really is worth it. With all that I am thankful every day for the life I have now and truly realize that I am so very lucky and will continue to be so. I hope the same for you all.
I’m just now learning to define who I am by my interior self, and not by what I do for a living. My husband used to joke my crest should be “Embrace the Suck” as,
when I look back at my life, the crystalizing moments were the most stressful or traumatic. When my back is against the wall, I have to trust my instincts, my soul, my mind, to move forward. I’ve learned to listen to those small voices now and it’s served me well.
I’ve just been hit by one. Started on a new promising career path almost 10 years ago and over the last few months felt so discouraged and finally had a lightbulb moment. I don’t want to leave my company, but I need to be doing something fresh and different.
Oh the road you never traveled that makes you think at 2am when you can’t sleep. I have moved around the country for work which has taught me a lot about myself and life. However, 10 years ago I moved back home to be around my elderly parents as I never wanted to what If after I lost them and now my 89 year old Dad lives with me. I always thought I would marry and have children which never happened. On the other hand I am relatively healthy have a good job that supports me and what I enjoy doing. I think that is what you have to concentrate on at that 2am I can’t sleep now thought pattern that happens.
I’m 70, been married 50 years and am an avid member of the BDH, which is probably the only unexpected thing in my life. I have lived a good and truly boring life and expect to pass on in the same fashion. I am content. For me, that’s the best I could have hoped for.
Yes, this! (okay, not the age or the married for so long thing, though I might get there eventually 😉 ) I can still recall that moment where it hit me that striving for “being exceptional” as everyone kept telling me to do was never going to make me happy, and that “being content” was where it’s at!
I too have a lovely boring life. I have a long term relationship and a child, neither of which I expected. I found my dream job before I turned 30 and have done said job at 2 different companies so far. (It turns out the job is fun in itself, but the colleagues you work with make all the difference…) My only worry is that the field I work in is undergoing rapid changes and I don’t know if my job will still exist in 10, 20 years.
Boring is underrated. I love it 😉
I totally agree! Boring is definitely underrated! Adventure is stressful. I strive for a comfortable life, well lived, with people I love.
If you went back to the me of 10 years ago and showed her my schedule for this week, I wouldn’t have believed it either. Fortunately, I’m quite happy with the twists and the life I currently have.
My wish for you and everyone is that we can say the same thing in another 10 years.
Thank you for creating this wonderful community and sharing so much of yourselves. BDH is my favorite fandom.
My family moved a lot when I was growing up, so I became aware of the changeability of plans early on. I’ve moved twenty-seven times or so. At one point in my mid-twenties, it was once for every year of my life. As an adult, I’ve had many jobs in a wide variety if industries, but I’ve studied in college and university to be a missionary, an artist, an author, and a journalist. What followed: the combined wear and tear of working retail at an airport and telephone customer service for an insurance company over seven years resulted in a slew of health problems. Those problems drove me back to writing and my first novel is nearing completion. For the first time as an adult, I love my life instead of just liking it.
Hmmm, where to start…. when I was 16 while watching TV I saw an ad for Bryman School. I lied about my age, told them I was 18, applied for medical assisting program. I took a proficiency exam to graduate from high school and went to medical assisting school. my boyfriend’s sister worked at a hospital and told me about a job as EKG tech. I applied (again lied about my age) and worked there for 3 years. Will fast forward to present, I worked for a surgeon and I became friends with a transcriptionist. She loved her job and said I should try it. I didn’t know how to type (seriously, I was a 2 key typer) but learned to type after work by using a typing program. I worked for the transcription company few years but somewhere along the line, I decided I wanted a more lucrative position and went to physician assistant school. However I was a single mother could not commit to the program as my child was more important. Fast forward to 2012, I worked for a Workers’ Comp Orthopedist with pretty flexible hours but had to work in office. Two years later, I was diagnosed with colon cancer and needed daily radiation with chemo at beginning and end of treatment. The hospital I received the treatment at was less than a mile away from the office. My husband dropped me off in the morning (he worked nearby and we commuted, real convenient) and a coworker picked me up. In 2017, my mother developed congestive heart failure and needed care. With a heavy heart, I handed in my resignation to care for my mother. One evening my boss called and said I could do my work remotely. I think I actually cried. I was able to care for my mother and still work. I was with my mother when she passed away in 2019 and will be forever grateful to him for allowing me to continue working and be with my mom. I still work at home for the same doctor 12 years later. However the most wonderful part of this story IS…. as I work at home I can take my work with me wherever I go. I have typed in the car while my husband drives. I have done this going to Devil’s Tower, Mount Rushmore, the Redwoods, to Oregon to see the solar eclipse, from Virginia to the Midwest, and on and on and on. I have worked in airports and on airplanes. I typed while driving in Hawaii, England and Scotland. I can do what I want when I want as long as I get the work done. The pay isn’t too bad either. 😊