Remember when I wrote about loving the daily grind of your work?
Nora Roberts loves it.
Nora Roberts
I’m able to produce a lot of books because I work every day. Because I don’t go out to lunch or dinner, or to events, go shopping, have hobbies or socialize all that much. I don’t want to.
I like home. I like my space. I have plenty of people living in my head for company.
I don’t spend a lot of time, sometimes none at all, on social media. It’s a time suck. My time’s valuable to me.
And routine is my god.
Karen Marie Moning talks about the classification of Fever series as romance and taking wild chances.
Karen Marie Moning
Bottom line is, I can only tell the stories that move, rivet and thrill me, hoping they have the same impact on you. A bestselling series is a blessing–thank you all for that! And can be a cage.
Karen’s post is a tiny bit depressing, specifically this part.
Karen Marie Moning
Still, I’m fifty-four. I figure I’ve got say…15 really good years left. By the way that’s precisely 5,475 days. Think about that. 15 years is 5,475 sunrises. 5,475 days to have sex, go explore, take a trip, spend time with the people you love. 5,475 days to chase your dreams, feed your passion. 180 more full moon nights. 15 more Christmases.
Back when I was severely overworked and having hard time, I saw a meme that said, “Live every day as if it were your last.” It really burrowed under my skin. Eventually I decided to go to therapy and when I mentioned it, my therapist shook her head and said, “Isn’t that too much pressure?”
And it is. Trying to squeeze maximum excitement out of every minute leeches the joy out of life.
As writers, we come to realization that our days are numbered sooner than most people. We write about dying a lot. We describe dealing with loss and moving on, and we have the fun benefit of hitting the worst case scenario whenever there is a bump in the highway of life. As I’m writing this, for example, the story telling part of my brain warns me that making a post like this would be highly ironic if the plane carrying us to France next week crashes or I discover I have some life-threatening disease this week.
Thank you, brain. You’ve been acknowledged.
But still, the realization that your time isn’t infinite and you have only so many stories to tell is scary. It pushes you to write what you’re really passionate about.
I can’t think in terms of “I have this much left.” I just kind of take it one day at a time, trying to enjoy what I do, try to be a mother, a wife, a writer, but also just me. I’ll never be as prolific or best-selling as Nora Roberts. I’m not even swinging for that fence. I’m aiming for the find some simple joy in each day fence and sometime I miss, but most of the time I do manage to hit, and when some days are a home run. 🙂
With that, I have got to edit. And then sew couch pillows.
Have fun in Paris! Here’s hoping you can relax and enjoy it. ?
When I sometimes get to worrying, I try use positive thinking I will have a good time doing xyz. I am positive you will enjoy Paris! I am in sort of the same spot as Karen Moning as both my husband and I are 54, but we are more thinking of what and where we will be doing and living in 12 to 15 years. As much as I love living in Ca we are planning on moving elsewhere for retirement. It is kind of exciting and scary to think about such a big change.
Enjoy sewing the pillows, my big goal for today is to go the Friends of the Library sale at branch library.
I am over 60 and have been trying to save and start thinking of where I would want to retire. Really hope I can afford doing so because I look forward to having more leisure time, etc. So far my list of places are more where I do not want to live… places with extreme weather, killer bees, poisonous snakes, expensive… and I really want good libraries like I have right now, though the best Overdrive I know of is in Alachua County Florida… have a relative in the area. I drool over all the audiobooks available which includes Ilona Andrews and many more authors I enjoy. I buy the books, but it is great to also listen to them as well. Florida is not on my list, however. I currently live in a suburb of Chicago… am a suburbanite at heart and would love help learning about good places that meet my criteria.
I’m with you, Susan. Especially after this winter in the Chicago area.I want somewhere warm! Probably moving to Texas to be near my son when he is stationed there. May happen in the next six months to a year. I used to live in Austin when I went to UT, so I have some Tx experience, and I really liked Austin. But that was some time ago. He may be in Dallas, and all I know of it is it’s bigger and flatter than Austin. Good luck on your own search for the perfect place to move!
It takes a lot of discipline to be a writer. I always thought I could never do it regularly especially if I were at home and I think of all the things I could find to distract. I have always felt writing came easily to me, mostly for school and work, but still was work and not the kind I wanted to do full time. It is fascinating to learn author’s processes and how they feel about writing. Thanks for sharing.
Love this post!
Or your impact on Society could be HUGE and change the alphabet forever, by making it now end in Y
My ten year old asked me what the best day of my life was. If it was when I married my husband or when each of my five children were born. I told her I don’t have any one day that was the best but there are many moments or experiences that are wonderful. I feel the same about too much pressure to live each day as your last. For me I try to find something good to be great full for each day. Some days have more then others but an attitude of gratitude helps me to focus on what’s important and not how much time I may or may not have left.
Your post really is timely for me. I think we all put a lot of pressure on ourselves, women especially, and it’s a difficult way to live. I realized the other day that I’ll be 62 at the end of this year, which gives me about 6 years or so to retirement. That really stresses me out in a variety of ways. So today I’m baking blueberry muffins, going to Pilates and hoping the rain stays away a bit longer (living in soggy Northern CA) and that will be a good day. Enjoy sewing the cushions. I hope you have a wonderful time in France!
Great post. I’m a massage therapist and I’m 49. My body takes longer to recover when I’ve had a hard week and am working too many hours. I’ve started thinking of my body having an odometer, and I need to take care of it and make the most use out of my miles.
Have you heard of the MELT Method? You might find it helpful, it has certainly made a difference for me. I had pain in my right ankle even after two Aleve. It took about three weeks of daily exercise but haven’t had any problems since. Head to toe it takes 20 minutes, body weight only, and a dense foam roller. If nothing else interesting history of how Sue came to invent the method.
I’d suggest that Karen Marie Moning reconsider her age limit for literary production. I’ll be 75 on Monday and should have two books coming out this year. No, I don’t work all day anymore, but I get the job done. My body is slower, but my mind and fingers seem to be okay.
Happy Early Birthday!
Happy Birthday, and many, many more! Also, Dick Francis wrote until his death at 89, and Roberta Gellis was still writing into her eighties. I would guess that it’s up to the individual author, and perhaps how demanding the the ideas are that reside in the author’s head.
Great post and very timely for me! I’ve been considering going back to school and starting a new career for years (I’m 42 now). But I’ve been putting too much stress and emphasis on the fact that I’ll probably be close to 50 by the time I actually get it completed. Your post showed me another way to think about it, the fact that it really can be about the journey not the destination, and I’m going to go apply right now! Thank you for your perspective and have a great time in France!
Go get ’em, Andrea!
My mom told me when I started back to school that the time will go by no matter what you’re doing so do something you like or want to do. She didn’t go back to school until her late 30s (yes for her bachelor’s degree). She was in her 40s when she got her master’s degree. She had 4 children (five if you include my dad) on top of that (plus my dad didn’t support her going to school).
I applaud you going back to school for a career change. Change is good. Yes, it’s stressful, but it is good. 🙂
How old will you be if you don’t go to school? Follow your dreams. I changed carriers at 50 and am so ooooo very happy!
At the age of 70 something, my ambitious and accomplished mother turned to me and said “I am still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.”
1- yay! I still have time
2- never too late, never ever ever too late
Go to it!
I became a nurse at 45, graduating from college the semester after my daughter! I did my masters at 55, and said “When you can eat off the seniore menu at IHOP, you get to stop going to school”. I lied. I’ve gone back for an education certification, and keep thinking I want to get my EDD, but now I really am getting up there. I’ll be 65 this year, with 20 years in nursing! Not sure what will be next, but I’m so glad I went back. Even though I was the oldest in almost every class. ?
When I was recovering from cancer, people would make the same pithy comment with minor adjustments, like “now you’ll live like you know today might be your last.”
Ridiculous. I spent 11 years after that counseling patients with end stage cancer, the same as mine. The one thing I noticed was that no one wants to live as if today is their last unless they’re adrenaline junkies or suffering from extreme anxiety, neither of which brings the sufferers’ much comfort, just an endless leap from one peak of fear to the next. We invented civilization to avoid all that. Otherwise we’d be twitchy prey still running from one hunt to the next.
The two things I came out of cancer with were to enjoy where you are as much as you can and be grateful for the chance.
Karen’s depressing a bit. There’s a lot of chatter about cognitive decline as we age but we consistently compare it to our 30s which, ironically, is the beginning of a VERY slow decline that seems to keep that slow trudge lifelong. Of course people can write well into their 70s barring an illness.
I learned a lot about time management (in terms of living), from my grandfather. He was a Marine in Korea, then a firefighter for 30 years, but somehow managed to live long enough to have three kids, and then see his grandkids.
He had a heart attack when I was three, and managed to survive it (made him quit smoking after 40 years too, so bonus). He proceeded, over the next three decades, to get into two car accidents, be diagnosed with cancer and go through three bouts of return, chemo treatments, and remission, two more heart attacks (one while I was also in the hospital), and five years with Alzheimer’s.
During all this, the doctors tried to tell him how much longer he had, and each time they were wrong. I asked him about it once, and he told me that we don’t get a paper that tells us when we die, so we might as well just do our thing. For him, he figured he’d have the time he had, and until then, he was just having fun.
The point to this rambling is that I learned that sometimes thinking “I’ve only got x amount of time left” can get in my way of using that time. And my brain does what Illona’s does ALL THE TIME. But I just try to do my thing and live. 🙂
You know, life is strange. Sometimes it’s great. Sometimes it’s tragic. Living your life to the fullest means different things to different people. It depends on your life. You write stories that mean so much to so many. Me, I get lost in your stories and they mean so much to me. I can’t do what you do, so I do what I do. I’m a nurse and my job is to care for kids who are mentally disabled. We do what it is that our lives call us to do. Thank you for what you do.
Thank you for what YOU do.
Stay in the moment. Enjoy the now, and when now isn’t enjoyable, know that now passes to later–and later is certain to be different.
As a teacher and as a mom, I always want my kids–birth and bonus–to find their passion and live in it as they can. Those moments–crystalized passion–be they family/work/love related–those moments are worth being fully in the moment. To miss one because of would/could/should? No. Just no.
Thanks for being in your passion so often, telling your stories, and giving the rest of us the escapist joy and love of the written word.
Living with the awareness of our mortality is one of the blessings/curses of being human. I’m 62, and I retired at 59. Great idea!! Yes I would have a better retirement if I had waited, but I have seen too many people retire and then die without enjoying their golden years – and they really are golden! I had a big scare a few weeks ago of severe chest pain, when the medics took me away I kissed my doggies goodbye fearing it was for the last time. Its all good, referred pain from esophagus spasm. My cognitive ability is actually improved by abandoning the stress of a difficult job. Zero regrets on less money. My favorite T-Shirt is a picture of the Great Western Divide in the Sierras, with the statement “the journey is the reward.” I concur.
I found the most wonderful New Year’s card this year on Amazon. The front photo was of two dogs running in the snow with great joy, and the quote on it read, “If we are ever to enjoy life, now is the time, not tomorrow or next year… Today should always be our most wonderful day” – Thomas Drier
Excuse me… Thomas Dreier!
Loved this post. I’ve been having mini panic attacks when I lie awake at night thinking about my own mortality. I’m only 34 so it’s probably too soon for a midlife crisis.
Thank you for sharing. It gave me a new perspective and something to think about.
Safe journeys, Andrews fam❤️
Actually, it’s not. Turns out that for women midlife crisis is often situational and a lot of us have it in their early 40’s.
Holy crap, you’re right. Google says for women it’s between 35-44. And one of the symptoms is “making a drastic change to one’s appearance.” I just cut my waist length hair into a pixie. I had thought it might’ve been a form of political protest, but this suits.
+1.
Also, from personal experience and anecdotal evidence, there’s a mid-20’s crisis — I and all my peers experienced this. I believe it happened when we realized how badly screwed we were compared to the stories we were told growing up — the “you can be anything, the world’s your oyster” stories.
I found wisdom in KMM post and I found myself realizing I needed to remember to stop and take in all the little things I take for granted.
Comparing yourself to Nora Robert’s? I’ve read a couple of her books. They’re fine. I’d rather read one of your books 4 times than 4 of her books. I think you swung for those fences and have been hitting home runs.
+1
Completely agree, Danielle. But as I am an IA addict, the math might have been 10 times IA to 1 NR. Like you said, NR is fine, but the writing, plotting, etc. are far, far superior in IA.
+1
I read Nora’s post yesterday. She’s very good about sharing her days. This one was more detailed than most. She was open about being a solitary person. To the point of waiting for her husband to leave in the morning. As I read her different musings, I see many little similarities to Eve in the In Death series. For some reason this comforts me. I certainly relate to having the solitary gene. I would think many authors would have this to some extent. Being alone during the day is a gift. I treasure it. I feel lucky to have that time.
I really enjoyed her posts about the plagiarism and ghost writers. Maybe with her entering the ring with smaller self-published authors there will be some change.
I remind myself about life being a journey and and not a destination. I’m 56. I remember that when I was younger life was about the destination and it didn’t make me a happier or healthier person. Too bad I learned it later in life, but it is true with age comes wisdom. I now make lists to remember what I need to do and if I get a few thing ticked off while enjoying the day, it’s all good.
I’m 56 too. I have 3 amazing adult children; they are kind, have a heart for service and are self sufficient. They are my greatest accomplishment! I consider my greatest, hardest job done! Now life is just gravy! My career is going well, I’m married to a wonderful man and I made sourdough bagels today for the 1st time:) I enjoy the simple moments in life. A cup of camomile tea in front of the fireplace before I go to bed. Feel the joy from my grandson’s hug. Life is good! Hope everyone else remembers to feel the joy!
Thank you for sharing this.
Have a safe trip and a great time in Paris!
Thank you for this post, there are a lot of good points and perspectives to reflect about. Yesterday marked a turning point in my life, thankfully only job-related, but this has been weighing on my mind nevertheless for the past weeks. So this post is really inspiring to sort things out.
And you are an Inspiration anyway for me, there are so many things I picked up from your books that got me thinking. Aside from them being a wonderful way to spend time with amazing Kate and Nevada and now Catalina….
As an aside I am actually going to visit Paris as well, but I am unfortunately going at the wrong time and will miss this opportunity to meet you at the conference. Safe travels, enjoy Paris, and energy for the continuing word count battle.
Ironic that Nora is 71 I think and Marie will be 71 when her “good” years are over, in her opinion. I’m OK and I’m 74 so I don’t agree with her thoughts/fears. My Mom used to say “hindsight is 20-20, or perfect vision”. I try to look forward and live in the present.
And enjoy your trip please.
A lot depends on quality of life and health. Genes and how we treat ourselves. Life can seem very long sometimes. As a grade school kid I would think about the year 2000 and wonder if at that advanced age I would ev en be around. 1962, but grown ups all seem ancient to younger kids LOL
Have a FABULOUS time in FRANCE!!!!! I love the metro in Paris, it goes everywhere!!! I don’t know if you are taking any side trips but the Eurail trains are a lot of fun!!!
Also, this was why I spoke out so rudely a few months ago when you were sick all the time. If you are sick all the time your quality of life is not good.
And Nora Roberts, while prolific, just rewrites the same book over and over and over. I like them, but I always know what I am getting. Your books are individual jewels, unique and beautiful and surprising.
Nora is a bit reminiscent of Barbara Cartland. All one theme. It was a phase at one time, but so was Perry Mason, Zena Henderson. and Edward Eager. Tales of a Brownie, The Little Lame Prince, and The Water Babies.
I found Barbara Cartland disappointing, mostly because it was during the No Sex Era. When publishers finally realized just how profitable sex would be (Sweet Savage Love by Rosemary Rogers, anyone?) guidelines changed.
A Zenna Henderson fan. Loved her books as a teen, hated every movie ever made from them.
Thank you for these lovely, thought-provoking posts.
Have a wonderful and safe trip.
I loved Paris. Did the whole tourist thing, plus lunch at the Tower. I recommend you wear good walking shoes and take your time. Elevators are few in the old buildings, so you will be doing stairs a lot. Most of all enjoy the sights, sounds, and culture. Have fun.
Paris is an amazing adventure! I don’t know how long you’re there, but London is just 2 1/2 hours by train. I love St. Germain it’s my favorite neighborhood though when I go with my Mom we stay at this lovely boutique hotel on the Rue Cler. You can eat well in Paris, one of the best meals I ever had was in a cafe on a rainy day in April. Steak, salad, pomme frites and rose’ it was so amazing in its simplicity and at the same time so delicious. Twenty years ago and I still remember it so clearly. If you have time go to Chartres, the stained glass windows are incredibly beautiful and on a sunny day psychedelic! I wish you the best visit to the city of light. Eat and shop well!
Buvette 28 Rue Henry Monnier St. Germain. Delicious!
Enjoy Paris! I have been there a few times and it is a beautiful city. My favorite museum is the Orsay – it is in an old railway station and I loved their sculpture section.
Live each day as if it’s your last ….. people think they should be doing big, great things and checking off bucket lists. For some that works. Personally I think there is nothing better than being with those I love, taking my dog out for a walk , enjoying the company of friends, a nice weather day, listening to the birds chirp – appreciating the beauty in the small things in life.
But I do live each day like it’s my last – every day I let my husband know he is handsome, smart, sexy, funny, kind, and caring . He disagrees with me every day but I know better! I will never win the lottery because I used up all my luck finding him.
I totally relate to Nora’s comment about being a home body. You certainly write stories that thrill and captivate us and we love how generous you are with us with your time.
Were the couch pillows torn in the cat crazy? Hope you are winning the WCB and that you got some sleep. Have a wonderful time in Paris!
I looovvve Paris. Besides the usuals, if you like maps, get to the Musee Carnevalet in the Marais District. I spent hours wandering from old map to old map.
Also, if you haven’t already been, get to the Cluny museum close to the Latin Quarter. Very tiny but they have the Unicorn Tapestries.
I second the comment made by the person, above, to hang around Rue Clee for food and even to stay. We always stay in that area when we go, and also 8n a boutique hotel. And at night, after dinner, you can always walk to the Champ de Mars and up to the Eiffel Tower and just stand there, a compete tourist, with your mouth hanging open at how big it is soaring up above you and how beautiful it is.
I envy your trip.
p.s. if you have time, take one of the one day bus tours to Givenchy and wander Monet’s cottage and water lily ponds. Sigh
Rue CLER. (Jeezeloueeze)
We have stayed at the Relais Bosquet,it is a lovely hotel and so close to great eating and shopping!
This may not be the most appropriate post to comment with this question, but I’ve been dying to ask if you will have a meet and greet (with drinks and delicious French pastries perhaps?) while in Paris during the weekend?
I can’t wait to meet you at Rare anyway, I’m so excited!!
The story goes that St. Francis was out working in his garden, when a passerby asked him what he would do if he knew the world was to end the following day. He said, “I would finish hoeing my garden.”
I spend a day every week with my husband’s 99year old Aunt. On my way home each time I wonder how many more visits I will get. It probably won’t be many more, yet I’m always surprised when we celebrate another birthday for her. While physically limited in her mobility, (she uses a power chair) she is still in charge of her life. She still talks about her life experiences-just about every decade. She has all the marbles. If I use her as a life yardstick, I’m barely over halfway.
Makes you think.
Thank you, Ilona Andrews for the thought provoking post. I do agree with you about how stressing living each day as if it is your last is.
However, everyone is different. For example, I am a loner and prefer hiking with my dog on a trail. One of my siblings can not go to her nearby as in 5 minutes away wal Mart for a gallon of milk without a carload of extra bodies and lots of drama. Same immediate family just different as night and day as to what is important to each of us.
So go to Paris and enjoy your trip. Do not worry about keeping up with the Jones but do what makes Ilona and Gordon happy. The cliche ‘life is short’ is true. My chiropractor told me the best advice which was to count all the things I was grateful for each night at bedtime. For me, she hit a home run that day. I have also learned to do the things that I enjoy as all work and no play make me a dull unhappy person.
Reading your stories are enjoyable to me. I am pretty sure the rest of BDH feel the same way. We enjoy reading what you and Gordon write.
In our family at bedtime we think of three things we were grateful for during that day. Gratitude journals have been shown to reduce depression in middle school aged girls. It’s a tremendously useful practice.
It IS so much pressure to live each day as if it were the last, I have gone through that, sometimes still, I tell my hubby, we’ve got a few good years left (I’m 44)…. and then how many summer breaks before our daughter has left home and I start to totally for reals get anxiety. Have to dial it back from that territory. It’s tough some nights. And so I read and re-read my trusty stories! Last night, I started up Wildfire again. And really appreciate Rogan in a different way. Your writing just sings. I’m glad for the hard work you and Gordon put in! It really shows in the end, in the art that emerges…..
I love the post on Wait but Why called The Tail End (https://waitbutwhy.com/2015/12/the-tail-end.html). It is a fun and sad take on all the things we get to do before our life ends. Your post made me think of it, since you share some similar ideas. He’s also done a post called Your Life in Weeks that was kinda mind blowing for me.
A long time ago I decided it was a successful day if I did something nice for me and something nice for someone else.
Rarely they are big important things. Mostly it is small kindnesses.
The second thing is to always tell the people you love how much they mean to you.
Enjoy Paris, a beautiful city. Beyond all the classic tourist things to see, might I suggest https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centre_Georges_Pompidou
I loved this centre – so much fun to see and do and the surrounding area is intriguing. Word of warning, carry change for the public bathrooms, and be warned the doors are timed, get it do your thing and pull you pants up or bam door swings open, thankfully you are travelling with someone!!
Thank you for your post too, I feel it everyday as well, the anxiety and stress, and while smart enough to know what it is and reading all the blogs, notes, posts, articles etc. on how to recognize and deal with it – still comes in waves and is not controlled. I trust my family and friends and put value in my ethics and similar type of people I surround myself with.
Good luck on the flight, I just recently travelled all while the flight issues arose from the 737 Max issues, we were fine!!!
oh yeah – bring tp on the plane, I flew airtransit once to Germany and they ran out of tp – omg is right!!! – see I am putting my anxiety onto you – fun right!
I loved your post. You make my life better just by the effort y’all put out. I am sitting on my porch enjoying the rare mild weather and reading this. I want to thank y’all so much for the time and energy you both have in your writing. I am so glad you are going to Paris. I am sure that we as readers will get to read about it in the future as you may weave it into a story or two. I have read Nora and while I have enjoyed her in the past and as her alternate name J.D. Robb, I still reread everything you and your husband produce over and over. It never gets tiresome. I do not reread Ms. Roberts books. In fact, I do not know if I still have any by her. I appreciate her efforts but I have found your books. It is hard for me to read other authors once I have completed a reread. Lol. But, I will persevere! Love your books, all of them!
Thank you.
I really needed to hear this in general but especially today.
Thank you so much for sharing
Jo
Well said. Enjoy sewing those couch pillows!!!
Or are they ripper cushions?! After the pets altercation, that remains to be seam… seen! Hahaha!
Others may have addressed this already, but I want to add my two cents’ worth: My parents are in their 80s and as busy as ever. They would laugh at the idea of anyone 54 thinking they only have 15 “good years” (whatever that means) left. I completely agree that the idea of living every day as though it were one’s last is way too much pressure. I would think writers more than just about anyone could keep going as long as they like. P.D. James was writing into her 90s, for instance. I don’t think it is very useful for most people to plan what they do based on the idea of a finite period to fill up. (There are certain exceptions to this.) As long as you enjoy what you are doing and find value in it for yourself and others, why stop? I look forward to reading your wise words for many years to come.
<3
You will have enough days and hours to do what you love with those you love because you will make it enough!!!
Well, that least that is what I believe. =)
Have fun in Paris!!!
Ya know, balance. I believe in balance. My husband is 7 years older than I am, and when he retired at 62 I should of kept working. I didn’t. We had just watched two good friends die of cancers probably caused by the same work my husband did (wildland fire and emergency management), and while the extra years working would have been great for my retirement, I have no guarantee how much time we have together, and I would rather spend it together. You know your balance point, enjoy France.
Karen’s reply kinda scares me … only 15 more good years left … we are on the clock!
I guess I like to think in terms of enjoying my time in the way that comes naturally at that moment, rather than “squeezing every moment out of life”. If I regret it later, I take it as a teachable moment and try to tweak my decisions down the line. Either way, I am looking to find what makes me smile in the moment, rather than that the moment lives up to some expectation.
That’s my goal, in a nutshell ^-^
Oh, and have a wonderful time in Paris! oo lah lah!
This company is the same one that does the best walking tours… in London. They didn’t exist in Paris the last time I was there, wayyyy too many years ago for that Moning quote to make me happy. I can’t confirm for Paris, although a glance over the brochure shows a distinct lack of Ghost Tours, which is disappointing. I was going to make a comment about how expensive they were, but London Walks raised their prices, too, so depending on the exchange rate that day, the price is comparable (I was in London in 2000 & 2004, both times did the tours, both times they were 5£, and I joked to a friend that the price had doubled between the first and second visit. They were still excellent as of 2009, but again, that’s London).
AND it looks like you get chocolate tasting tours, and I know many who would gladly trade the ghost tours for the chocolate.
I can’t wait to hear about your adventures! I really enjoy hearing from people who have visited the places I have or want to visit. I love thinking about the different choices other people make and comparing those to the choices or plans I made (and sometimes adjusting those plans because your idea sounds better)!
http://www.paris-walks.com/index_m.html
I hope you have a wonderful time in France, enjoying everything and anything that you want.
I, too, try to take each day as it comes and find some joy in even the littlest things. That’s a lesson that cancer taught me (once I got over the initial shock, terror and anger, that is) – that it’s pointless to worry about ‘how much time do I have left’, especially when it makes you miss the everyday things that give you joy. You can’t know how much and all you’ll end up doing is wearing yourself down while missing the good things.
This morning, I learned that the PET scan I get every year found something new this time. Something that they think it’s probably metastasis. I’m freaking out, to be sure. But I also took an hour to give myself a break from the worry – to just walk through the yard, looking at all the plants that are slowly waking from their winter sleep and anticipating the flowers to come, and then throw a few sticks so my pitbull-boxer mix can race around the yard like some kind of demented rhinoceros and make me laugh at her goofy antics.
Sometimes you have to work to remember to give yourself a break from whatever life is currently throwing at you and just be, just for a little while. Life can be a hard at times and it can be a real fight others. But there’s also always those little joys that you have to remind yourself not be too busy fighting to miss – they can go a long way towards giving you the boost you might need. Or just a much needed laugh.
You are right…always try to enjoy the now, even if it’s minute by minute. I hope you have a good outcome.
Thank you ?
What a great response. Best wishes and prayers for the next steps in dealing with this challenge.
Thanks so much, Carolyn ?
Sending good vibes and wishes your way. Hope things improve for you and the road to be traveled is not too bumpy.
Thanks so much ?
I reread books as a comfort. The ones I reread are yours, Patricia Briggs, Shelly Laurenston, and the historical romances by Julie Garwood. The talent of those writers are obvious, but those authors spark joy in me. So when I am a little down or stressed, they perk me ‘write’ up. Thanks for being a reread author-lord. Sincerely, BDH Minion.
I had to retire at age 62 for health reasons thst since, with the help of two amazing doctors, have come right at 66. My mind is clearer, my soul happier though my body is a bit slower, but hey, I’m still dancing so it’s all good. I’m also doung things I’ve always wanted to do, like letting these stories out of my head and giving them wings. Age is not something to fear, but to embrace. We have nothing left to loose so can let go of the fears.
Nora Roberts may crank out books, but you are who I
love to read and re-read. The passion for your craft shows in the wonder of your worlds.
You’re living in the present moment. And, that is the perfect place to be.
May your Paris trip be filled with beauty and loaded with fun–drinking wine sitting at a table on a Paris street, watching a beautiful sunset, sleeping in and having coffee and croissants on your balcony, enjoying the art in one of their spectacular museums—and, just having a good time. My wish for you both.
One important thing I learned in my middle 20s is that I chose to be happy. I’ve had people ask me why I’m so upbeat or happy all the time. I told them I have a choice: I can be down and resentful or I can be truly happy. I chose happy. For me being happy can be opening a door for someone; it can be smiling at someone; it can be listening to the birds sing; it can be thankful that I woke up in the morning; it can be reading terrific books. ?
Death is a part of life. I accept that. However, I want to live and enjoy the time I have on Earth. I don’t want to exist and have a “countdown clock”.
Safe journey to Paris. Enjoy the time there.
One of the two best pieces of advice anyone ever gave me was “you laught, you cry, you get your money’s worth either way…so you might as well laught!” The other was “you’re going to get older no matter what you do, so you might as well get older doing what you want to do” when I was worried about being to old to go to school. I went to school, and try to choose happyness, because it’s more fun!
People view time…
In my 30’s life expectancy was 70 & it continues to grow apace
Some people now are starting their for me careers at 60-70
We speak about millennials like they are aliens & don’t recognize that we (boomers forward) have new criteria to make our long range life long plans on.
In remembering our parents & grands ( were we blessed they survived so long) we project & try to prepare ourselves & our families, for what we survived with them.
In my own work passion I am down with nora, I like doing & when I ‘m not I’m plotting planning or absorbing inspiration to do. Each day is a gift ?
I’m painting walls, my patches are done ✅ the grey needs to be a scidge either darker or more silver. And of course the blue needs to be a half to full shade lighter. I will decide when I am awoken by the sun (I don’t get) floods the room with light & I can see if they lighten the room.
Whoot! the wood putty worked a treat, now to sand & stain.
Enjoy you, trust you, believe you
It makes the world ? go round
I love Nora Roberts’s writing. I have enjoyed her work for hum, every bit of 30 years. I have every single book of hers including a couple of signed copies. Her world building is top notch. Now I will say that the 2 of you are every bit as good.
I have a high standard for my personal “favorite author” designation. There are 3 authors on it. Nora Roberts, John Grisham and Ilona Andrews. Faith Hunter and Ann Bishop are very close, but they haven’t quite gotten up there to my true master designation yet.
Thank you both for the dedication and hard work that you put in for my/our entertainment. It is greatly appreciated and I spend many enjoyable hours reading, rereading and listening to the audiobooks that you write.
+1
Thank you!
I understand this just too much-
Somedays I fell from beeing 15till 100?
100 when the clock rings in tge morning, 30sonething during work, 15 when I meet ny love,
100 again when I look in the mirror-realizing that I am not 20 anymore,
Then there is this feeling that I am wasting time, some Sense lessness (?), sadness
Then again I make the Choice, that it is just like life goes-the sense of life is the choices we make every day-
I try to do, what has to be done, ignore, what I don’t like and not nessecarily have to do just because other people might say I have to.
Do as much of what I like to do and what makes me happy, and if it is doing nothing, I make as much nothing as possible ??;-)
We made a lot of dangerous, crazy, stupid things, our kids will do just like us-
We just can hope they will find a lit of fun and happiness in a free and peacefull world.
Sometimes I think about what Dori said in Finding Nemo:
If nothing should happen to him, nothing would ever happen to him, how boring (kind of that, I only watched it in german)
We can’t controll evrything, and trying to controll and doing evrytime our best will just tire us out faster.
Try not to worry so much, relax and enjoy, take what comes.
Easy said, hard done.
But worth a try
Best wishes for you all ?
For a few months now, there had been clashes between the police force and protesters in Paris, each saturday. It causes some violence and I would advise you to avoid Paris intra-muros on saturday. Maybe you could take the opportunity to visit le chateau de versailles or le musée d’orsay ? I would not want you to have a bad experience…
No problem the other days, just saturday…
Also, if you have any problem, even the slightest trouble, please do not hesitate to contact me by sending a email (you have my email thanks to the blog), I live in the suburbs of Paris.
I wish you a very good trip.
What a nice thing to do, Gaelle!
+1!!
Long ago for 8 years I was an EMT with an all volunteer fire dept. Small town, but 2 major highways ran through it. That service gave me an impetus to enjoy what there is, especially the little things. And forget counting the years ahead. You have NO idea. However, it was pretty darned obvious that if it isn’t your time-you aren’t going. People survive the darndest things. Take each day that arrives as a gift and enjoy unwrapping it. I eventually gave up ambulance work although I loved it because I found it becoming hard to maintain a professional attitude towards people who would deliberately impair themselves with alcohol or drugs and then go off and harm or kill others. It was an experience worth having though.
A children’s movie said it best:
“Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow a mystery,
Today is a gift, that is why it’s called the Present.”
Take joy in the little things each day, and your day will be filled with joy.
I really like that saying. I try to do something everyday that gives me joy. It might only be hugging a family member and saying “I love you”, doing nothing but reading several books for that day, or something in between, but it is something that I feel good about.
The older you get, the more, “live each day as if it’s your last”, seems to make sense.
It’s no longer about squeezing everything you can into every minute. It’s about paring away everything that you don’t deem essential so you can spend your time as you see fit.
I wish this book had been available to read in our 20s. It truly has changed our lives.
?
“Essentialism:The Disciplined Pursuit of Less” by Greg McKeown ❣️
The “Less” part is not only tangible, but intangible wastes of time, effort , emotions, you name it. When you start to eliminate the non-essential, you find you have plenty of time to do stuff that before might have made you feel guilty — like sitting on a bench at the lake and simply enjoying being there.
I’m sure it says something about me that my brain shoved right past the somber and right to, “Couch cushions? Pictures?! Pictures! Yes, please!” ?
Ripper cushions?
Karen’s post is HUGELY depressing. According to her, I’m already a year past my sell-by date. Should I cancel all upcoming sex, exploring, trips, spending time with the people I love, chasing my dreams, feeding my passion, full moon nights and Christmases? Not gonna do it.
You’re only as old as you feel, and 70 is the new… 70. But I’m not dead yet.
Joe, I have to agree.
I will be 70 this summer and it heartens me that the folks in charge of my IRA have paced it for a “life” of 27 years. I’m not taking any chances. I’m re-investing some of that, so I’m not out of money at 97! (Getting a job at 65 was pretty much impossible – and indeed, I gave up and retired.)
“Old age” skitters along in front of us as long as we keep going. Until you get tired and say “I think I’ll quit”, you are just moving a bit slower than you used to.
Yes, my joints are creaky and my memory is occasionally spotty, but I still adore walks in the woods when I can find some, and watching the sky change through the day. I spoil my cats as I will my grandchildren if I am ever blessed with them.
I am considering finding a hospital to make baby hats for. I love traveling, though I would prefer not to do it alone.
Not dead yet – indeed not.
Not quite a year ago my mother passed away after battling breast cancer. That sounds cliche’ but it was a true battle to the very end. She was not ready to go and fought to live every minute as fully as she was able. Parties, visitors, family even travel as long as she could. Now I try to honor her by making every day memorable usually in small ways. It’s really just paying attention to life as it happens and not passing up opportunities for small adventures. This is my way of making every moment count.
Some years ago I discovered living each day as if my Last didn’t work for me. What really worked was occasionally living a day as though it were my first. It let me slow down and wonder at all the things that fascinated me as a young child. Sun on raindrops, birds flying (how do they do that?) all the colors around, and tiny flowers in the grass. This let me rest and be at peace for awhile. Being at peace was the key. Anyway, I’m glad you are finding joy.
Thank you for posting this blog. I am a writer struggling with not being published but also glad I don’t have to deal with any kind of notoriety. Mainly because I like my time suckers and not being dragged through twitter. However, I do like writing and reading. I am sometimes unsettled because I don’t have the success, people I know do. I wonder if I’m a poser. This post has given me something else to consider. Thanks again.
I don’t think in terms of how much of life is left. For one thing, you can be hit by a bus tomorrow. My brother went to bed one night (not feeling ill, he just went to bed like any other night) and didn’t wake up the next morning. He wasn’t suffering from any life-threatening disease that we knew of. He was forty.
When your little brother dies at 40, it changes how you view a lot of things.
My house is messy. I would like it clean. If I spend the day on nonsense that I am enjoying instead of cleaning my messy house, I’m not going to beat myself up about it. I won’t suck the joy out of a day of listening to audio books and playing video games by feeling guilty that I wasn’t doing something I “should”.
My messy house will be waiting when I get around to it. Maybe I’ll watch Hoarders or invite people over for a dinner in a week’s time—- both are cleaning motivators. Maybe I’ll sit happily in my mess and load up my Sims game.
I’m not counting the minutes I have left. I’m trying to enjoy the minutes I spend here.
We don’t know if there is something next. Maybe there is and maybe it will be wonderful or maybe it will be much like our current lives. No one knows. But if there is something after this life, whatever it is like, I’ll bet you don’t have a worse time when you get there because you didn’t clean your house or write another book or make another chunk of money while you were here. That stuff is all temporary. Just like life.
Sending you lots of love….
Thank you, you are very kind.
My favorite stories to read are written by Ilona Andrews.
As I’ve grown older, my memory has become unreliable, ok, I flat out can’t remember stuff.
The only upside to this failing is Ilona’s books are (mostly) new again.
When i re-read them, Surprise! I come across my favorite motto in their stories for why I still volunteer for politics even though I can’t remember stuff:
“The rule is: often wrong but never in doubt. That’s what makes you different. You show doubt, and nobody will follow you.”
” I’m aiming for the find some simple joy in each day fence and sometime I miss, but most of the time I do manage to hit, and when some days are a home run. ”
I feel the same way.
Hum. Maybe my faith helps that I don’t worry about growing older… I know that this life is one of many… Really, the 80 +/- years that I’m here in this life are just a small time in the lifetime of the energy we call “soul”… What I learn here will be carried with me, who I affect here will be met again… I make my choices and learn and play and enjoy time with my friends and family and make new friends and family and enjoy them too. I use my energy to try to make this classroom we call a world more positive than negative and will move happily on when I’m done, secure in the knowledge that energy is neither created nor destroyed and I’ll be back again next time. With friends and family old and new.
None of which stops me from thinking that 60 is coming up fast and I meant to have more done by now.
I’m 59, I have metastatic breast cancer. I have short term goals (live to 60), medium term goals (live to 64) and long term goals (live to 94), but mostly I just live from day to day. I’m going on holidays in May, and planning Xmas. I have a job I love even though some of my colleagues drive me crazy, and I have to do taxes and take nasty meds, but mostly, I live from day to day. Laugh, love, weep, fear, be bored, be happy, be excited, but mostly just live. Day to day. Quite simple really.
I love the quote from Nora especially the part “I have plenty of people living in my head for company. ”
This is exactly whats going on in my head too. There were times when I thought its wrong/crazy, that I am boring and I should make conscious effort to be socialize. It took me some time to educate myself about what is an introvert and accept myself for who I am.
I don’t need much to live like its my last day because most interesting things always happen in my head. I am not even that upset about getting old, because most things I love doing today will still be available to me. Even if I lose some of my mental capacity, it would probably be noticeable to the people around me and affect them, but I am likely to be fine-ish since I won’t notice it (selfish, I know).
On the other hand I am slightly jealous of Ilona and Gordon because they got to share the crazy 🙂 Ilona previously wrote that they work together when they write, so its two of them in their world. That got to be interesting and fun.