Lately when I browse Facebook, it shoves advertisements for luxury stores at me. I have no idea why. I am cheap.
In my experience, women tend to break down into two categories.
Woman 1: Great shoes!
Woman 2: Oh yes, these are Valentino Garavani. I paid $1,000 for them. Worth every penny.
Woman 1: Great shoes!
Woman 2: I’ve got these on sale for $12! Can you believe it?
I’m in this latter category. Not that I won’t buy a good expensive pair of shoes once in a while, but I will usually wait until they are 30%. Like the majority of women, I take great pride in bargain hunting. With that in mind, I present to you things Facebook thinks I should buy.
Authentic Decorative Books
Authentic decorative books, ladies and gentlemen. None of that fake books nonsense here. Tied with a string, just to make sure you never read them. This might be the dumbest thing I have ever seen.
First, this is stupid because you can go to any used book store ever and pick this bundle up for about $20. If you are too lazy to go in person, the multitude of small book stores selling their wares through Amazon will be happy to oblige. CAUSE OF DEATH by Patricia Cornwell can be had for anywhere from $3.00 to $0.10.
But the idea that books are meant to be decorative is both ignorant and gauche. Books are meant to be read. It is the height of anti-intellectualism to buy books you’ve never read and put them around the house. Books say volumes about their owners. They are like prisms; they sift through the multitude of readers retaining those who find ethics and story between their covers interesting and good enough to keep. If your shelf displays collected works of Ayn Rand in leather, I know exactly what kind of person I’m dealing with. If you add JENNIFER GOVERNMENT to that, it’s a whole different story, and you and I need to have tea and cookies and talk.
Why in the world would you want to give people the wrong impression of yourself? You don’t even know what these books say.
You know what this bundle says to me? It says you like murder and books with lots of heat and questionable courting tactics.
If one of the knuckleheads who bought this bundle ever cuts the string and opens that book, won’t they be surprised.
Beads – A Sculpture
You know what this is? This is that thing that you elementary school child brings home from school and you hug her and say, “That’s so pretty!” And then, when you pull it out of the box fifteen years later when you’re moving, your now twenty-year old says, “Holy shit, Mom, why do you still have that?”
Three hundred and seventeen dollars.
Get yourself some polymer clay, a length of wire, and acrylic paint and you can make your own for less than $20. At least it would mean something because you made it yourself.
If you like the beads, Peter Valcarcel also wouldn’t mind selling you this pillow.
Don’t get me started on his art.
The list keeps going.
Giant Purple Foot
Well, at that price, who could afford the whole man?
I want to meet whoever looked at a spot in their house and said, “You know what we need, Margaret? A giant purple foot. Yes, I think that will do rather nicely.”
Price: $1,337.60 (originally $1,672.99)
No, it’s not a giant wad of crumpled tissue. It’s a lamp. Meant to sit on the floor. What could it possibly illuminate, you ask, sitting so low and looking so dim? Why, your giant purple foot, of course!
Money to Burn
And finally, ladies and gentlemen, the big finale.
- Material: 100% Wax
- One knotted wick
- Collection: Gomitolo
- Scented: No
It’s a candle.
It costs $449.
It’s not scented.
I rest my case.
Alecia M Register says
not to mention the candle looks like a bundle of rubber bands
That’s what I thought it was at first.
Jocelyn Malone says
Yup, I first thought we were going to get an overpriced rubberband ball.
Christina S says
Miss Bliss says
Well that made me laugh AND gave me a great book recommendation. THANKS!
Why do people do that?? I am a huge art lover in all its forms and I like to think I am quite educated but I have to say sometimes I just don’t get it!!
Is that just me?? ????
I always enjoy your commentary, it often allows me to be reassured that yes, I am sane, and it’s the rest of the world that is crazy.
But really, a $400 candle? Really? Really, Really? I’m just……….
Jocelyn Malone says
You can LITERALLY BURN $449 + tax! YAY…wait…NO.
What this tells me is that I have the wrong job and/or there are more gullible people in the world than I imagined. Both of these hypotheses will remain untested. If I was to start a profession of making and selling overpriced items, I would be the sort that would not find a market. As for the gullible people, my world view can be challenging enough without receiving proof of that one. I like to think the best of people until proven otherwise and I want to keep it that way. So alas I tilt my head to see if changing the angle of perception helps…Nope. I don’t get those gifts either.
Mikhail Vapnik says
Sent the bead sculpture link to a ridiculously talented potter friend and told him he’s doing it wrong. He was less than amused.
Patricia Schlorke says
I AM a potter and I feel the same. WTH???
I do pottery for fun at my high school (I teach math, please don’t hold that against me). I’m in my 3rd year of pottery and I can do better than that, the beads aren’t even pretty. Heck the kids in the beginning pottery class do way better than that.
And if you have pets (active, naughty pets) those floor lamps are now shredded cat toys…
David Edelman says
While none of these qualify as the dumbest thing that I have ever encountered, that’s only because I’ve achieved an age where I have encountered many very dumb things.
The one linear foot of books amazes me, for those of us in the sticks where second hand bookstores are few and far between, most local libraries have used / surplus book sales and the proceeds go for good purposes. I wonder, if I bought a foot of books for $99 and donated them to the library, could I claim a donation of $99? Thinking really out of the box (and half way into San Quentin) could I use this to justify a $99 donation of a foot of books from my existing collection and avoid the middle man?
All in all, I would file these under more dollars than cents.
Kendra Townsend says
??? Wow. It’s a giant fake rubber band ball!
Like one of those novelty erasers ?
I’m going to get my 5yo son started on those cushion covers…
Yummmm. I already read that book by Johanna Lindsey in one day. As for that candle. It looks like those ball of rubber bands. Lol.
Colleen C. says
I mentioned that my old dog has to start wearing doggie diapers and all my ads are for Poise Pads. I would prefer the shoes!
Lol. I remember that with my dogs. I live in a predominantly retired people town so buying the Poise pads at the drugstore, nobody batted an eye.
They’re for my dog. Sigh
I get a lot of essential oil stuff because I bought peppermint oil to keep mice out of the basement
Kimberly @ Caffeinated Reviewer says
Oh thank you for the laugh. I too am a category 2 woman and would laugh the salesman right off the floor if he tried to sell me these things.
Kathleen Campbell says
The scary thing is, the books and foot sculpture each have a (single) five star rating from very satisfied customers. Yikes!
Charles Corp says
Money to burn and not the brains to light a match.
LMAO – too funny. Yes I have seen the decorative books before – like you or any member of the BDH would need to buy fake books for decoration!
I have never been a big fan of modern art – if it looks like something I could do myself then I don’t consider it art (I have trouble drawing stick figures). Giant purple feet, tissue lamps – not to mention that there is no spare floor space in a NYC apartment – $400 candles and cushions are the same to me as putting my money directly in a shredder.
Adding up your list is approximately $4,400 – a really super duper nice vacation or two or a couple of months of expenses in retirement. A 3D printed home is less than $4,000 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCzS2FZoB-I
So I am with you in category 2 – I am cheap too 🙂
LENORE VILLA says
Ooooohhhh! Thanks for the link. I can save up for a 3D $4000 house. That would be awesome to get.
Best part would be that the State and Federal governments can’t hit you with high property taxes based on the value alone. Totally affordable.
So, when the TV show “The Librarians” was cancelled, the production company had a big sale for all the props, as is customary. Because I was within a 5 minute walk anyway, I attended the sale. They had thousands of fake books for sale, along with many, many other odd items. And thousands of books that were real but looked old and were for decorative purposes, like your picture. Clearly, they were sitting on a gold mine and did not realize it.
Or perhaps someone did realize and that person is now selling them bundled with string for $99 a pop.
Whoaa, I’d like to attend something like that too. Even though I will likely just enjoy seeing all the items on sale.
Guess I shouldn’t grump about FB trying to sell me over-age-50 cosmetics.
Older does not equal mature, and I will continue to buy the shiny/metallic/glitter-y brand with the dubious color names. [I bet Grandma Frida would, too.]
Thank heaven I’m not artsy.
Have you found the “Nerd Makeup” site?
I love the nail wraps, since I don’t wear make up any more.
“Glitter is the new black.” is their motto.
http://www.espionagecosmetics.com is the web site. Enjoy!
(Not affiliated, I promise.)
barbie doll says
Oh my those gifts look like white elephants or regifting options. When did we forget the value of money and taking time to buy something that will be appreciated. On the other hand I don’t want to know the people who think these are perfect gifts. Makes you wonder about the algorithms used. I have a lot of money in book feet.
Chris Henderson-Bauer says
Giant. Purple. Foot. I’m dying. 😀
I humbly submit a third category of shoe-buying women: the ones whose messed-up feet make them shop for shoes like some people shop for performance cars. The ones I’m wearing right now are waterproof, wide toe-box, sustainably produced, look cute, don’t get smelly, and I can walk for miles in them with my heavy backpack without hurting my feet.
This is my fourth pair. I will be very sad if they ever stop making them and I have to go on another epic shoe-quest to find another type that fits.
Chris Henderson-Bauer says
…Okay, not sure why that image wound up on my comment as well as the user image. Sorry about that! Eek.
Patricia Schlorke says
I’m in that third category too. I buy really good shoes on sale as much as I can. I almost made a Saks 5th Avenue shoe salesman feint one time when I said “OK I found the shoes, now I need to get a dress to match them.” I was dressed in shorts and a t-shirt. ?
Julie G says
I’m another variant on this of “they mostly don’t make my size” so when I do find shoes that fit I get pretty hoard-y.
Seriously, the last time I checked Amazon for women’s 13 shoes I found: stilettos and literal stripper shoes. (The platform contains a tip jar.)
I have found a source or two, but any time I find something beyond basic black pump that I might want, ever, I end up hoarding it because I will never find it again.
Tina in NJ says
I wear a 5 1/2 wide shoe. Maybe I should try the children’s department. I basically live in sneakers.
Try boys shoes size 3 or 4. I wear a women’s 6, extra wide, and since that’s often impossible to find, I sometimes buy boys shoes. They are so comfortable!
Patricia Schlorke says
Try looking at QVC.com. They have name brand shoes and start at a size 5. Depending on the brand, there are sizes in a wide.
Mine are C/AAA. Nobody makes that one. I live in clogs and sandals.
Easy Spirit used to have B/AA, but no one does a combination last any more – that I can find, anyway.
Try women’s size shops for extra wide shoes. I know Torrid carries extra wide shoes, but I don’t know where the sizes start. Sorry.
In 1961 Piero Manzoni, an Italian artist, made cans with “artist’s shit” on the label (and maybe inside too) to show that if you use the magic word “art”, you can literally sell anything!
Simon Lyon says
Better still is “Pierre Brassau”. A hoax perpetrated in 1964 on the art world by Åke Axelsson who purported to reveal avant-garde paintings by a previously unknown French painter. While most of the art world were rhapsodizing about the amazing paintings “Pierre” was revealed to be a chimpanzee called Peter who had just been handed a brush and paint! 🙂
Art is in the eye of the beholder indeed!
How about Duchamp’s upside down urinal in 1917? ???
Simon Lyon says
Nice one – I’d forgotten about that.
Best I’ve seen with my own eyes was (is?) in the Tate Modern in London, billed as a monochromatic painting … think about that for a second.
It’s a rectangular A3 size board painted blue. Perhaps it’s a particularly “artistic” shade of blue?
Simon Lyon says
Oops sorry *Simone*. Given our names that may happen again down the line! 😉
No worries on the name – it happens 🙂 I don’t think the artistic merit of a shade of blue is enough to justify a rectangular A3 size board as art. But then I am probably just not educated enough to understand the juxtaposition of the elements of the wood material to the color that make it worthy 😉
Simon Lyon says
“juxtaposition of the elements”. I’m still giggling five minutes later.
is that the one by Yves Klein? He patented the color as “International Klein Blue”….
I’ll only comment on your book recommendation. Jennifer government sounds amazing.
The rest…not bothering an answer! Lol
I would happily pay any of those amounts for the original art from the Johanna Lindsey novel! I could enjoy it by the flickering light from my unscented candle?.
Simon Lyon says
I’m with you Ilona. I’m a bloke so I may have a slightly different perspective but I’ve never worn anything in my life (except a suit and my boots) that cost over £40 (decent jeans).
But on the other hand … there’s a sucker born every minute and if the con–artists creating this complete tat can reel them in then I don’t feel any sorrow for them being fleeced.
Simon Lyon says
And books I could pick up for £5 (for the lot) at a street market in London. For $99 dollars. Tied with string. That one just offends my sensibilities! 🙂
? That tissue lamp wouldn’t last long in my house. The cats would bat it around and the dog would pee on it. ? As for the rest of those “treasures,” I can only imagine that their acquirers probably throw away their children’s projects just so they can display the “true art” (of the same thing). ??♀️
Lynn Schueler Fitzgerald says
I must have the purple foot. I’ll be the only one on my block to have one. ????
Lynn L says
That bundle of books reminds me of books by the yard as in yardstick, it’s the same kind of ridiculousness. I think the same people who buy thousand dollar shoes would buy the purple foot.
I just can’t get over the decorative books. As much as I love Lindsey, that is not a book to impress. If I were to create a “decorative” book bundle, it would be with Ulysses, The Bell Jar, Shakespeare, Austen and the like. If you want to make it even more impressive, you add some Foucault in French and Nietzsche in German and Dostoyevsky in Russian…
Just for fun it did a “red” bundle with books I bought secondhand (I estimate they cost around $30). I could also do other colors, though on my shelf they are ordered thematically 😉
oh, my cheeks. My cheeks hurt from giggling.
My first thought with the purple foot was “Oh no, the foot of Bal-Rom — but what on earth did he use for lotion?”
(Kyrandia 2, Hand of Fate)
So doing it wrong. Could have made millions with variations of hand-painted pillows if I’d just gotten there first.
You could add some of these just for fun in the Sapphire Flame book. I bet Augustin desperately needs the purple foot as a paperweight ?
Suzie Tobin says
Just goes to prove ‘a fool and their money are easily parted’
Patricia Schlorke says
A purple foot that’s a paperweight…. When I saw that the first thing that came to mind was “someone has bad circulation”. The candle and the linen pillow made me laugh. What a waste of money! ☺
Sara T says
ha ha ha ha ha! That was hilarious.
I am a Category 2 as well.
I need to tell my hubby that we just need that giant purple foot. Oh and those lovely beads and cushions.
I am definitely on the same page as all of the above. I must be rather pedestrian because I just laughed at all that expensive crud.
I saw a pair of shoes for £400 once. I absolutely loved them. I walked away.
2 months later I saw them half off. £200 for a pair of absolutely gorgeous, but impractical shoes.
I walked away again.
Another month later, I saw them for £99. It ws the last pair. They were my size.
I bought them. I still love them. Not sure I would have been quite so happy with them at the original price.
I found a £250 pair of champagne coloured shoes (which I needed to go with a dress that makes me feel lovely when I wear it). They were perfect, in my size, the exact colour, etc. They were reduced but also in a ‘spot-sale’ and cost me the amazing price of £12.50!
I wore them and they are the most uncomfortable, evil shoes ever…but they go so beautifully with the dress that I forget and now just wear them in to an event and then leave them under my chair!
Cheryl M says
I’m totally in Category 2, but what is funny is that Facebook shoves these ads at my daughter, whom, at 26 definitely cannot afford any of these things. We laugh and laugh at some of the things she gets shown.
As for the tissue lamp, yeah, the cat would have way too much fun with it.
Bwahahahaha ? happy silly season!
FB is actually targeting me pretty well. Mostly minimalist work clothes from small designers (which I’m trying not to indulge in, but it is my thing – though practically, not how I usually dress), sports bras (I have one design I love, but I’ll listen) and boots. And then a smattering of science, environment and similar stuff. Oh, and bathing suits, which is a misfire, because yo, I just bought a couple of bathing suits.
I like quality, I don’t give a fuck about status symbols, and I don’t like spending money (though I’ll make an exception when it goes directly to the creators). So, I have this amazing pair handmade boots with buckles on them that my sister got me, that have the perfect biomechanics and look elegant and are comfortable… and were 50% off the sale price because the shop was owned by the same people as the store my sister was working at. (And then I bought her a pair of lovely pumps by the same designer, using her employee discount, and we were both smug as hell.) (The only issue with the boots is that they have leather soles, so they’re really not running around in weather boots.)
…and I’m more willing to spend money on shoes that most things, as I tend to be pretty hard on my feet. If I ever spend full price on shoes, they’re almost certainly athletic shoes, and it’s because I tried them on, and my feet announced they live here now and aren’t coming out.
Patricia Schlorke says
I’ve had the same experience with my feet. It’s like “nope, not coming out. You will wear these while paying for these nice, comfy coverings”. 😀
Respect the feet!
(My poor feet. I’m at three fractures of bones in my feet, all of which I ignored for at least a week, all of which I really shouldn’t have. I mean, it’s not like my feet weren’t telling me about it all… OTOH, all they work I’ve done on them, they’re a lot more normal shaped now, and I don’t have so much trouble getting shoes.)
I love looking at expensive catalogs they make me laugh and give me ideas. I’m the type 2 shopper. I look at stuff and think I can make that so don’t buy it or make it and save myself money.
My son offered to buy me a Nora Roberts book so she would sign it (she only signs books). I told him “thanks but no thanks” I’d rather have a new Kerr or Ball canning book as mine got wet and the pages stuck together. I’m not paying $30 just to get a signature. I’m strictly ebooks now and lots of library use.
Leon (64) says
Two things.. now work this stuff into a story and “Pet Rock”…..
The first thought came to my mind when I saw that $500 (including sales tax) candle – the candle probably lasts 6-8 hours of burning time. So, I would be burning $60/hour. For that money, it doesn’t even sing a tune? If I wanted the look, I would go out and buy bags of rubber band and have a craft day instead. So not my thing.
My niece visited me over summer and went to an amusement park and won the drunken ladder contest (its a rope ladder attached on both ends and you must climb it without falling) The price – a giant stuffed animal.
Two weeks later she left leaving with me TWO 53inch tall stuffed toys, a goat and a dog. And being very optimistic at her 11 years she decided to put them on ebay for 90$ !!!!
I would have payed you to take them off my hands, so imagine my surprise when someone decided to buy one, found a friend to pick them up (they can’t be shipped due to size) and payed 90$ !!!
Perhaps I should forward that guy a link to giant purple foot. Clearly if he found a need for a giant goat, he might also appreciate a foot.
ps The dog is still for sale: https://www.ebay.com/itm/362416664853?ul_noapp=true
What’s funny is that, by interacting with the ads this much, you’re training the algorithm that you’re _really_ interested in this stuff… which means you’ll get even crazier suggestions in the future.
At least you (and we – thank you for the share!) are entertained 😉
So unrelated sorta related… on the books, my husband was in line at daughter’s school for pick up yesterday and someone’s grandmother was reading a bodice ripper in the car behind him….he had to look up the title and author… found it’s part of a series and involves lots of “wild” and “heat”…. hahaha….
This post cracked me up. I’m just home from retail madness, trying to bargain shop myself. Am. Wiped. Out. People are crazy. Prices for things are crazy. But I DID score a $50 art set for $10 bucks for my daughter, so I’m pretty excited for that.
Thank you for making me laugh. I love your commentary. 🙂
Akeru Joyden says
Yeah, Well, I remember your post about going to the Office Supply Store for white board to be able to plan out a murder… Yes I am going somewhere with this remembrance… You see, your phone listens and searches and then associates items in ads for you to see, trying to tempt you into purchases. it even colludes with your PC browser and facebook and social media apps when you get home… combine that conversation with the interesting conversations you and Gordon have while writing and I’m sure you get some hum-dinger ads.
A co-worker and I have been caught out by our “that is ridiculous” conversations at the office… where we are laughing over things we have heard about in the Peyton Place where we live, and twenty minutes later ads show up in our phones and browsers and Amazon!!! So how do we tell our electronics that we are making fun of incidents and not interested in those things??
I get Kitchen Aid ads (I have Bosch Universal), I get Sephora make-up ads (I use Physicians Formula), I get luxury car ads (I drive a 10 year old Japanese car)… I do buy very expensive footwear for work where I spend hours on concrete and want the best foot support and safety rating. And I am one of those women that can walk in any store and immediately find and like the most expensive thing there. And while I like bargains, I will save up and pay full price if there is no other way to own what I really want… I don’t settle for a lesser item, though I will wait for a sale.
Your ads are a whole lot more interesting than mine. Mine are for books and jewelry. Books -yes sometimes; jewelry – not so much.
Earle Davis jr says
Used to be a company who sold you the top 100 best books ever written. Very gilded and pretty. Books written by Poe, Shakespeare, Wolfe etc.
So you had a 100 books that looked like you were well read. It was like having a complete encyclopedia. Pretensions and appearances.
J R says
Company probably still exists.
My father subscribed, then required that we kids read at least on per quarter. He himself actually read about 90-95% of them.
not always just decorative.
I think Reader’s Digest used to do that. They published the classics and the books all have that nice leather bound/gilded look to them.
Jean Morgan says
I love your blog, in case I haven’t told you before. I saw a quote from Carl Sagan and, it made me think of you. Wish I knew how to upload to show you. Have a very Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Simon Lyon says
Love that quote – thanks for sharing.
Patricia Schlorke says
Thank you for sharing. Books are a great way to escape from reality (my mom use to say that).
Mary Cruickshank-Peed says
$99 for a foot of books… I’m way under insured.
I kinda like the foot…
And I must confess that I do buy books that I think are pretty. Of course these are 50 to 100 years old, and I buy them at library book sales…
It’s very Gatsby to have a library of unopened books, but people do make money off of it. One instagramer that I follow regularly sells bundles of vintage books for home decor. Of course hers are usually in rainbow gradations, and definitely older than Johanna Lindsey. Probably less questionable or steamy too…
The most important consideration in shoe purchase is that they not hurt my feet. The second most important consideration is that they look good with the kind of clothes I wear. If I can get that for $30, I’ll get it for $30. If I need to spend $300, I’ll spend $300.
The beads, pillow, and candle, though…
I used to arrange my books largely by color and size. People mocked me for it, but it was actually pretty easy to find the book I was looking for, since I usually remembered what the cover looked like.
(**I did observe that there was a Johanna Lindsey book in the bundle, and I thought, “Well, know we know why they’re showing her that ad.”)
Sharon Barrett says
What. The. Actual. F*&%?
Of all the reasons to buy a book, because it is part of a color coded set (chocolate!) is probably the worst.
Apparently I’m in the wrong business. I need to go thru all the crap I’m trying to get out of my house and rename it with some ridiculous foo foo title and try to sell it as high end esoteric farty art. BTW…Anyone want to purchase some retro stationery, circa 1972? It is a lovely puce colored paper with mustard colored lighting bolts decorating it in a delightful random spray pattern (disclaimer: not responsible for water stains or slight musty smell – which actually adds to it’s authenticity and value in my opinion). ?
+1 We should all have a couture garage sale on Facebook. I could use some help clearing out this junk!
Simon Lyon says
If you were the kind of person who liked to show off a bookshelf of vintage books you could at least make them useful.
One example of fake book hidden storage (there’s loads more):
Becky V says
At first glance, I thought the candle was a cat toy…
And I have seen a lot of ‘decorator photos with shelved books with the spine to the back of the shelf. What the heck?
I thought it was a ball of rubber bands I made on the school bus in elementary school ?
Pat R says
So did I. Just wondered how long it took to only find green rubber bands.
Sherri Campbell says
No permission to display publicly or don’t want comments on their book choice. ( I am betting on the latter)
OMG! I’m still laughing. It speaks to people with no taste who say, well, it’s expensive so it must be had! Thanks for making my day and sharing that bunch of ridiculousness.
YES! And for the heads up on Jennifer Government. I was looking for something new to relax with after Christmas.
I couldn’t stop laughing, that is a list of pointless random objects, but mostly I just loved Ilona’s commentary.
For a while I thought it was a ready-to-burn-ball-of-yarn…. ?
Ok, I think those are all pretty ridiculous. But I think I found a real winner when I visited MOMA, the Museum of Modern Art in NYC. It’s a Rauschenberg, it must be priceless…. but I have pretty good authority, you can buy something similar at Michaels for $20. Though, I’m pretty sure people who see it at your house would be mildly confused.
I was at MOMA about 5 years ago. The most ridiculous thing I was was the opposite of this; a large framed canvas painted black… and people sitting on the bench in front of it and contemplating it thoughtfully.
Luckily my brother-in-law had gotten us a deal on the tickets. LOL
…I *saw* was… ::sigh::
If you think that was a bit unusual, I was at a Modern Art Museum in Vancouver, BC and the exhibit was three televisions with static or snow on it. My mom wanted to know if it was broken. I was clueless.
There was a controversy back in 1990 when the National Art Gallery in Canada purchased a large canvas – blue with a red stripe for $1.76 million.
At the MOMA I saw a small canvas – black with a yellow tick tack toe grid on it (no Xs or Os). If I can paint it I personally don’t consider it art. 🙂
Simon Lyon says
I think little beats the uproar over here when the Tate Gallery in London bought a pile of fire bricks! It was referred to by art critics, as in the article below, “an important minimalist sculpture”.
It was referred to by all normal people as pretty much every curse word that would get me banned from this site if I used them. 😉
Simon Lyon says
And I mentioned in an earlier post – an A3 board, at the Tate Modern, painted blue. Billed as a “monochromatic painting”.
Sometimes I want to take a bat (real not clue) 😉 to art types.
That being said, I’m not a luddite – I’ve seen some quite startlingy amazing modern art, it’s just hard to come by.
Many years ago 1983/4′ approx a museum in Australia bought the painting Blue Poles $1.5 million lots of controversy not long after my then 3 year old son did a painting in kindy with blue poles the teacher and I laughed I still have it
Simon Lyon says
I’m a bit torn on Jackson Pollock because there’s one or two paintings of his I actually like, the more colorful ones. Most of his other stuff in dark colors, including Blue Peaks, meh! l’ll give him a pass on it being art – but whether it’s art worth that much? Very doubtful.
😆 😆 😆
I don’t know what is worst… that there are people out there selling those things, or that there might be a few souls willing to buy them. :I’ve got no emoji to express my astonishment:
What kind of idiot would pay those outrageous prices for any of that junk? Thems definitely Not bargain goods…
I quite like the candle. I’d pay up to $20 in a different colour…
Diane D. says
Ay, yi, yi! Those are some of the most ridiculous objects I’ve seen yet, and I absolutely agree re. decorating with random books! I’m definitely on your side re. bargains vs. trendy.
You may want to go into your Facebook account settings and unselect some things you’ve Liked/ Followed. I can’t recall the steps just now, but you should be able to find the list if you hunt around. Their algorithm must be starting from *somewhere*. Good luck!
I use Facebook purity to filter all that stuff out. It works really well.
What a hoot! Great examples! Thank you so much!
This list is why my mom despairs of my house ever being decorated. She suggests something, and I say “but that seems useless AND expensive”
I have no Idea how this reply showed up on the telephone blog but here it is in
the right blog:
Have you seen the TED Talk by a 12 year old (going on 35) who talked to over 500 adults about why she deleted facebook? It’s really worth watching. Also,
because as you’ve seen in the news lately, you can’t trust Facebook not to sell your personal info, so now would be a great time hit delete! You have just made your own argument for deleting it based on the garbage they take up your valuable time with.
I’m always amazed by people who tell me that they would love to take up knitting ( or some other hobby) that they remember liking years ago, but just don’t have the time for now. But they squander hours a day on s***** media.
End of rant.
This is why I have never bothered to set up an account on any “social media” site. I have time to knit, read, play with my cats, and hang out with the BDH a bit. I am retired, so my time is my own. I have no idea how anyone has a life with all the media they are supposed to keep up with. I have seen “a strong social media presence” as a job requirement. WHY?
Admittedly, I am often late to know the latest family news, since people simply post something on Facebook and assume everyone will see it. But they usually forgot to tell me before social media took over, so that’s not a new phenomenon.
Also, there is a long tradition of selling books by the foot. Check out your favorite historical, and you will often find a person who has more money than pedigree accused of decorating his library with books, “bought by the foot”, that he has not, nor will he ever, read.
Many moons ago when I taught in a very posh girls school, I was lamenting to a parent that the library copy of the shorter Oxford English Dictionary was falling to bits and it was going to cost a fortune to replace. His father had bought books by the yard for the library in his house when he made his first few million, he said, and would I like the pristine copy of the entire OED – all 22 volumes or so. I eagerly accepted his kind offer – the OED was taking up space he wanted for books he would actually read and an ordinary Concise Oxford was all he needed. I then commented that I would spend the money I had earmarked for a new shorter Oxford on the new supplements to bring it up to date. He promptly said he would buy the three supplemental volumes as well – at that time they were about £100 per volume. Definite Win!
I’ll never get why people would want to buy something that costs that much KNOWING how much cheaper it actually is. I definitely belong to the 2nd category of women.
By the way did you know that the name of that candle “gomitolo” means “ball of yarn” in Italian? Looking at it I thought it was some toy for cats ?
so, did you see that prank that payless shoes did, where they convinced people to pay $600 for shoes? like this, except this appears real.
e smith says
Hahaha! Thanks for the laugh, I am defiantly a category 2.
Laura Hudacek says
I so needed to laugh today. Thank you *so much*! I guess this means you are now admitted to the ranks of the elite. I would rather stick with my Half Price Books versions, which are well worn and loved by many readers.
Diana Pharaoh Francis says
Wow. That purple foot. Makes me wonder what the rest of the decor would look like if that was in a house. Would there be other body parts honored? Different colored feet? Different materials? A marble foot. A wooden foot. A rice crispy treat foot. Would they put fancy nails on the foot? Change them out periodically, maybe for different holidays? Would they put socks on it ever? Would they buy two and is it possible to get a left and right foot? Or could you get two left feet?
I will buy expensive shoes. They are usually good tennis shoes, because I have crap feet. And birkenstocks. Because I have crap feet. But if I had to spend a lot of money on fancy shoes . . . . I’d probably buy cheap and get a bedazzler. Or better yet, wear Birkenstocks and be comfortable. Yep. Comfort. That’s the ticket.
I basically live in Berkies, which I can do because sandal weather is most of the year in Houston. For the other days, there are Danskos – or Crocs – which are not expensive, good looking, or anything else but comfy.
Yes, I am a little old lady with ugly shoes, pink striped hair (red & green this month), and cat hair all over her clothes. Deal with it. At my age, I tend to be a bit – um – reluctant to conform to expectations.
Diana Pharaoh Francis says
Damned straight!!! I used to wear crocs a lot but wore them out and need to get more. I will wear Berkies all year if I can. I had foot surgery so right now am in tennis shoes most often.
I’ve got purple in my hair 😀
Lol I actually bought Patricia’s books used long long time ago four of the same serial for one English pound. One of them was the book from the bundle.
I used to read her, decades ago. I forget why I stopped.
Possibly because of the unrelenting gloom and total lack of humor.
I think this list actually says more about your Primes from Hidden Legacy than it does about you, at least if you use the same browser for work research as for Facebook.
Simon Lyon says
I’m helping a friend who’s trying to get rid of stuff he’s collected over the years. We put a music amp up on eBay for what it was actually worth. Didn’t sell. He wanted to drop the price but I said let’s double the price to see what happens. It sold for more than the doubled asking price. No-one’s ever gone broke by overpricing cheap tat!
If you ever want to just be baffled browse Tiffany’s website. You can buy a sterling silver “tin can” for $1k: https://www.tiffany.com/jewelry/decorative-accents/everyday-objects-sterling-silver-tin-can-60559139?trackpdp=pr&fbclid=IwAR0UBa9-xe-fOeDqCo_l6l16OKQiqSpxgxneL3bTuXlfcF4LL3KXYMG7ecU or a golden paperclip. Or any number of other such stupidly expensive things.
My partner read this and said, “The human experiment has failed.” But he also wants the purple foot. He’s right.
Wow! The sad part is that people actually buy this stuff.
There’s a place in Baltimore, MD that actually has free books. In PA, the local libraries have books for sale, often for $0.25 a book.
I agree, books should be read. If it’s a good book, it can be read many times.
I have a realtor friend that might be willing to buy random books in coordinating colors in order to stage a house for sale, but she’d probably only pay as much as $10 per linear foot. LOL
Hi ? you should delete your cookies from time to time. The recommendations from amazon or google etc. Are all based on the information they gathered from you. Even if they don’t make any sense. Sometimes its a“other people although bought…“ -thing. Deleting the cookies should solve the problem ?
Sheila Winderlich says
O.M.G. I don’t know whether to laugh or despair of my fellow man.
Jasmine R says
I have a collection of books I have on display that are really pretty to look at. Their titles are:
The Complete Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe
Grimm’s Complete Fairy Tales
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare
The iliad and the odyssey
Tales of Norse Mythology
Jane Austen Seven Novels
Beauty and the Beast and Other Classic Fairy Tales
(example of what they look like here: https://www.angusrobertson.com.au/books/beauty-and-the-beast-and-other-classic-fairy-tales-barnes-and-noble/p/9781435161276?zsrc=go-nons&gclid=CjwKCAiAmO3gBRBBEiwA8d0Q4n7j6UoFiRyaOvWwuasM2YrKXG16amgSIbhq-R1j4MFI6RIdVWx7MBoCf9IQAvD_BwE )
I’ve read most of them too
Great set. All worthy of curling up with and immersing in for hours at a time. Not an Ilona Andrews immersion but then you cannot eat only cake.
Anna s says
I just about peed my pants I was laughing so hard. The giant purple foot bit made me laugh so loud I scared the cat. Maybe I should buy a nice, unscented candle for the tranquility.
I hate the stupidity of people sometimes, well, actually all the time. Seeing books on a shelf should reflect many things, but never that you color coordinate moronic knickknacks with book colors. Please deliver us from the fools of this world.
I have read home decorating articles that advocated shelving books by color. O_O
I used the link and looked at the candle. Better hurry, there is only 1 left! No reviews. Was there ever more than one?
Probably not, because it’s art. Can only verified buyers write reviews? Asking for a friend.
Well if you change your mind and decide you MUST buy the beads and hand painted cushion I will make them specially for you in colours of your choice. And because I love you guys I’ll give you a 50% discount on the amazon asking price and even throw in free shipping ???
(Well it didn’t hurt to try did it LMAO). Seriously though amazon sells some of the weirdest crap and those prices are just crazy. Who on earth would pay that much for things that look so cheap and rubbish?
Nicholi Gold says
Wow, that is insane… and funny. Thank you for sharing.
I like to google things I don’t care about, just to see what Facebook comes up with: monster trucks; deep sea diving; orthopaedic shoes; maybe random diseases?
In reality, I’ve become my mother. “You like this coat? $4.50 at the Senior Center Thrift Store. You should check it out. Here’s the address.”
Bill G says
Oh, my stars and garters. This has me dreaming up a list of books to foist off on someone to display without understanding what the books are saying about him.
Not for a friend.
Let’s see now; shall we start with The Anarchist’s Cookbook, or end with it. The Kama Sutra should be in there, as well as something by Alistair Crowley. We shouldn’t forget Timothy Leary, now should we? This could be such fun …
You need to include the Illuminati trio by Robert Anton Wilson!
Have we told you lately we love you?
I do believe that you can go too cheap on shoes. Yes, I have had foot problems.
But I wouldn’t buy most of that stuff if it were a quarter at a yard sale.
Lisa M says
The purple foot is interesting, but not spectacular. If it were glass and priced reasonably (like $20-30), I’d pick that up!
On that note, has anyone else noticed the description of the foot? It’s hilarious!
“Like a Roman marble ruin on acid, the Giant Acrylic Foot clocks in at a whopping 12.5″ high by 26.5″ wide. Cast in lucid acrylic, it changes from fuchsia to lavender to rose, depending on how the light hits it. It’s perfect when placed in an unused fireplace, sizzling atop your cocktail table, or plunked provocatively as a low side table.”
Simon Lyon says
Unusally for me I have no words for that description!
Laughing non-stop here. I do something similar when I browse things (ebay and etsy provide a lot of material), just stare in awe at the prices people charge or pay for things and then tell my husband about them. My favorite one you posted is the candle. 500 bucks. “Here’s your sign.”
Thank the heavens there not sending this crap to me.
Once bought a Router Table for my Husband – yes its a Table for wood working.
Got it home – no legs.
TABLE – without legs = useless bit of board on the floor.
LEGS cost extra. Got me there.
You know what P.T. Barnum said: There’s a sucker born every minute.
Susan Reynolds says
Well, at least it’s an unscented candle–the smelly ones make me sneeze. But if you lit it, wouldn’t the flame go-to the bottom of the candle and set your desk on fire?
Helen W. says
O.M.G. Can I list some swamp land up there with those……. whatever were they thinking?
Haha! I’m laughing for 2 reasons. My sister and I just had this conversation about 2 hours ago. Only, we couldn’t figure out what the deal is with Kate Spade purses. I love boots!! I mean, I love boots! But I really like them on sale. Full price just doesn’t cut it.
Second reason is I totally have been missing the Innkeeper series but I love your blog because I still get a dose of your humor and snark.
Thanks for a fun dose today and Happy, happy holidays to you and yours!
None of the people that bought any of those things EVER get to complain about taxes ever again.
Wow, I am just speechless.
My husband is notoriously hard to buy for, but I will never be that desperate! Thank you for the reminder that there’s a lot of scary crap out there and I did okay again this year.
I will buy expensive shoes, but they have to be sneakers with great support! Hope you all have a wonderful holiday season and no one gets a purple lucite foot….unless they want it!
Ellen D. says
As they say one mans trash is another mans treasure. Years (decades) ago. There was an antique shop in Stone Mountain, Ga. Was really just a shack. The owner always had it full and you would be amazed at the stuff you could pull out of there. Men in business suits and kids in jeans would stand side by side digging thru this treasure trove. I squeezed into a corner to hand one gent a ham (?) radio from WW II while he lifted down a stack of 1800 primers and a bible that had belonged to a civil war soldier for me. The old gentlemen that ran this establishment always wore a pair of bibb overalls and would haggle the price with you. One time I pulled up to find a truck load of old books just dumped in front of his place. Just sitting in a huge pile on the ground!
Mary H says
My cats would love the tissue paper lamp, but they’d ignore the candle(?). The dog might like the lamp, but she’d eat the candle. Shoe wise, I buy both cheap and expensive,, but expensive for me is $85 for vibrant five fingers. Thank you for the snickers.?
(I no longer use them for every day outdoor shoes, but for indoor slippers, training, sparring, some kinds of climbing…)
Mary H says
Vibram, stupid autocorrupt. It’s a brand name.
Oh shoot I was having a good time imagining what a vibrant five finger shoe would be like. It sounds…vaguely kinky?
😀 <3 Max Barry's books. Even if he doesn't write as much as you.
The site with the giant foot recommended this object d’art. Only 3 left in stock!
Also, if you don’t want real books:
Ooooh! I want one of those cool $700 wooden sticks. Oh wait, I have half a dozen in my gardening shed. Maybe I can sell them.
? It’s a stick….. for $700. Omg
So does that mean that when you acquire a certain amount of money brain cells start dying off?
kylie j says
wow did you read the specifications
“About Sarreid Ltd From its birth in 1967, Sarreid, Ltd. has been dedicated to combining traditional hand craftsmanship with the use of time-honored materials to create unique treasures. Sarreid’s focus is on providing decorative home furnishings with originality, quality, and value to interior designers and high-end furniture stores.”
I guess those purple feet are in high demand?,!? Out of stock now. I guess if you set a high price on oddities and call it designer, someone will buy it
Susie Q. says
You need the giant purple foot to kick the crumpled tissue paper lamp. I’m the brag because I spent $80 on clothes with a total ticket price over $400 at Macy’s. I love 70% off with a coupon for additional money off.
The positive review comments left for the decorative books are worth a visit to the site. Dear gods…
The “log”went down in price since last night last night it was $713 now it’s $680 we should all get it now that it’s reasonable! This isn’t a log by the way, it’s a 9.83 foot by 8 inch diameter fence post. You see them used at the corners of wire fence. So if you’re really hard up for a log go to any fencing supply store and make up some story about it. Then use the money you saved to buy one of those candles and a decorated book set ? Or make rent whichever one you think is more important.
lol yeah, if I were inclined to have a decorative log in the house, I would want one that did not look like a piece of lumber. I like my logs to have, you know, bark, and limb stubs, or if barkless have those really cool grub trails, or be driftwood. fence post? Not so much.
lmfao omg lmfao .. I literally cant stop laughing right now … this reminds me of the Capital city people in the Hunger Games
Kelly M says
I have shelves and shelves of books in my house. I’ve actually had more than one person ask me “have you read all those books?” Like, DUH! More than once or twice, actually. Why else would I keep something around I have to dust all the time? I never understood at all the “books as decoration” theory of interior design. The books a person has in their house tells you who they are.
I’m actually not allowed to buy any more books. (at least wthout an argument with my husband) That’s why I got a Nook.
I LOVE my Nooks. I used to have to add an extra bedroom to whatever apt I was renting for a book room since I had 6 large bookcases that were jam packed top to bottom with books. With my Nooks I was able to give a couple of pickup truck loads of books to the local library for their sales and downsize my rent $. 🙂
Not to mention my suitcase isn’t so heavy anymore since it isn’t 1/2 full of books to read while on vacation.
Oh my gosh 🙂 yay, I thought I was only one of a few, who loves my nook almost solely on the fact that I can take 400 books with me where ever I go and can still lift my purse 🙂
Patricia Schlorke says
I got my Nook for that reason too. However the number one reason was so I could read James Clavell’s Shogun without hurting my hands. That book is very thick in paperback. ?
Rena… I did the exact same thing. I bought one of the original kindles because I had a spare room full of books, on shelves, on the spindly-legged desk, and in great piles on the floor next to the bookcases. It took 6 trips with my Suburban to donate my books to the local library book sale. I filled their donation box every time. There was some satisfaction in knowing that someone else might discover a great author because of my donations.
I, too, was one of those who took loads of books on vacation, now I have literally hundreds in my purse at all times all weighing ounces not pounds. 😉
my hubby gave me my first kindle because “too many books in our house”!
While I agree that buying books just for interior design is inexplicable. If you already have a lot of books it can be fun to organize/store them in a decorative way
Shelves of books books on the floor books on my kindle app. And the hubby is as bad as I am. The books breed in corners. Some of the rest of this stuff is just ridiculous. But you might buy it as a gag gift if you find one at goodwill.
Maybe the trick is to charge a lot and call it “art” or “upcycled” and that will convince people that your questionable product is worth big money.
In other words, apparently instead of working on actual artistic objects, maybe I should try overcharging for byproducts. Who wants to buy a stylish jar full of fabric scraps for $350? Perfect for putting on your shelf beside your Authentic Decorative Books! Also available, balls of crumpled scra- I mean, uh – quick sketches. You can put them in a bowl or something. Each one unique, includes battery-powered LEDs, $137 each.
I have some genuine cotton threads (sewing thread trimmings) I’d like to add to your collection. Wonder if my organically obtained animal fur pillows (dog hair covered throw pillows) would do well? (Do you do consignment?
Believe it or not decorative books have an actual purpose. There are companies that rent out vast numbers of books for film and tv to stock book shelves on sets. Set dressers will often be looking for a particular style or age of book. So while they may not be used for the purpose originally intended they do serve a purpose and I am all in favour of seeing people reading in films and tv
Yes. But sometimes… https://youtu.be/XNnjpDuzYKs
I need leather bound pounds to go with my wallet….. again lmfao!!
Sherry Lee says
When you wrote about the clay beads, I started to laugh. By the time you got to the giant purple foot, I laughed so loud I woke the dog and both cats…and maybe the horses and donkeys way out in the barn! Thanks. I needed that.
That’s hilariously ridiculous! Who comes up with this stuff. smh.
I remember reading somewhere that books were a sign of wealth back in the day. So people would have Bunches of books in a library they not necessarily had read but wanted to show how rich they were. I see things like these in catalogs that are sent to me even though I don’t order things from catalogs due to lack of burnable money. When I got to the purple foot I laughed so hard one of my dogs and my female cat ran over to see if I was dying!I can only see these prices being reasonable if they were at a charity auction with a humorous tilt. That pillow looked like it was made from someone’s clothing they were trying to salvage after they sat on wet paint.
My husband is usually embarrassed when I find a designer dress at a bargain price and THEN TELL PEOPLE WHAT I REALLY PAID. He thinks I should let them assume I can casually pay the actual designer price. First, My Love, men hunt for trophies. This is my version of a real trophy. Second, I drive a Hyundai, and not the luxury version.. There is no way I’ll ever casually pay designer prices. Ever.
Your commentary was hilarious. Glad you noticed the Joanna lindsey. I laughed out loud while reading this.
What the heck happened to the algorithm that is stalking you digitally to screw up this badly? Oh well, at least it’s not showing you stuff you love or you might be tempted ?
Michelle Balkenhol says
That purple foot reminds me of the “art” piece that my father bought from a starving-artist friend. It was a motorized sculpture, about 4 feet tall, a box with two upright posts on either side, with two horizontal bars between. On the horizontal bars were half-a-dozen of those toy cylinders that made a mooing noise when turned upside-down. When you pushed the button to turn on the motor, the horizontal bars turned, turning the toys over, and “Moo, moo, moo, MOO, moo,…” This fine piece of art was titled “Field of cows” and sold for $1,000. Fortunately, the friendship was worth far more than the sculpture.
I want a video of this ” Field of Cows”
Me too! Hahaha! ? ? ?
Dianna Kilgore says
As an artist struggling make enough money to pay the rrent i find what poor suckers are paying for such “art” really depressing. So glad I teach painting. Art sales are not enough. My students and i spend longhours making beautiful realiistic art to watch crap like that sell for big bucks. Mind boggling.
d LM a says
WHY ??? …
Why Not …
I shudder at the foot, it reminds me of platform heel chairs but somewhere out there …
Repeatedly throughout history books symbolize elitism, to those who were unwilling to acknowledge the work it takes to learn to read and to be able to learn from reading. Fake leather, gold stenciled,libraries whose uncut pages were all blank comes to mind.
The difference between Art & schtick … due to recent financial reversals my personal collection of large & garden size Pet Rocks are available to the discerning buyer for . . . ????
Well at least if I fall off the perch (Australian euphemism for dying) my husband would be able to sell some of my 5000 plus hardcover library easily on eBay for a quick buck. Mind you I did once tell the poor man that I could divorce him but I wasn’t going to throw any books away because they were always at home and not globetrotting like he was. So he might enjoy selling them. ? Ah well; I guess there are plenty of people with more money than sense out there in the wild blue yonder.
And I thought my Facebook recommendations were weird.
Merely confirmation of what my Gram told me more than 55 years ago….”honey, there are a lot of people in this world with way more money than brains” – ‘nuf said.
While i am interested in having a giant purple foot (i would make it into a Monty Python homage), there’s no way i’d pay that much for one…
May I ask how Jennifer Governmet got on your bookshelf? I didn’t think that it would ‘make it’ outside of Australia, but to be fair I have no idea how popular it was in Australia when I read it 10 or so years ago.
You guys realize I will now have to dig up a copy and read it.
The book has a really interesting premise but it fell a little bit short for me. It was only an okay read. It’s not something that I would rush to recommend to people ?
*Chortle, snicker, snort* ???
I laughed so hard I think I might have peed a little!!!
It is amazing to me the garbage that people will pay large sums for!! I can’t believe that someone would even have the gall to try to sell any of that “art”, for ANY price!
The book thing I find kind of offensive. I have 11 bookcases in my house, all filled to the brim. My husband, in desperation, finally bought me first a Nook, then also a Kindle, as you can only buy some books as one or the other. Every single book on all of my bookcases is a book that I enjoyed enough to reread several times, and know I will read again. My books are precious to me!! When I was much younger, I caught a plane to Oahu to stay with my sister while her Marine husband was on deployment. She had just recently had her first child, and I went out to be of help and support. I didn’t know what the Libraries there would be like, so I took my own books with me. I took two suitcases, one very much larger than the other. Yes, you guessed it!! The larger one contained my books! Now, I guess I am dating myself, because this was in the days when you could take 2 suitcases, and weight didn’t matter … unless you were carrying rocks or heavy metal. Everyone thought I was insane!! I didn’t care. I had my beloved books, every single one of which I read, and I also got to read several books new to me that I checked out of the local Library which turned out to be awesome!! There was just no way I was going to risk not having something good to read while I was in Hawaii for those couple of months!! I am not only an avid reader, but read fast as well. I can gobble up 3-5 books in a week easily. When I was very young, I used to hide under the covers with a flashlight, reading after my Mom insisted it was time for me to go to sleep and turned off my bedroom light. I hid under the covers to dim the light because she caught me before when she glimpsed some light under my door when she walked past. Books are some of my most precious possessions, some of which feel almost like a good friend. I feel sorry for people who tell me they aren’t “readers”, and that they never read anything – books, magazines, comics – nothing!!! I just can’t even imagine that! They are depriving themselves of such wonders, as well as limiting their vocabulary and letting their brains fossilize some. I apologize for going on a bit, but reading and the pleasure of books is important to me. For example, I have the good sense and taste to own all of the books by Ilona Andrews, both in “real” format, as well as Nook and Kindle. ? The books that are extra special to me I get in all three formats. That way I can always access them, no matter what! ?
Besides giving me a much welcomed laugh, your post got me thinking. ? Apparently there are people with way more money than sense, who are just looking for anything at all that they can spend all their unwanted money on. I need to tap into that! I think I will dump out my trash can, see what I can advertise as “art”, take pictures of it, then put it on eBay for a ridiculously high price. Of course it wouldn’t sell unless it had a high price tag. The high price is what let’s people know it is really good art and something they need to get and display in their home. ???? I find that kind of stuff insulting to real artists! I have a good friend who, unfortunately, is one of those people who thinks a high price tag means it is something great. She is a really sweet person, but she has that one flaw about name brands and prices. Luckily she does have more money than sense, so she can afford that foible. If she wasn’t such a wonderful person otherwise, we would not be friends.
Your story about your larger suitcase containing books remind me about going to live in Turkey when I was twenty, with my first girlfriend who was already teaching there. She’d said she was having trouble finding English language books (and her Turkish was weaker than… well, than my Kazakh, Uzbek and Uyghur, really) so I managed to cram pretty much every book I’d really enjoyed in the last couple of years in all the nooks and crannies of my luggage.
And then when I got there, she was all “there all belong to me now”. Um, wait, no, I mean, some of them sure, but… (This isn’t why we broke up pretty much as soon as I moved there, but heck, it might have done it.
Margaret R says
This stuff reminds me of the house in Beetlejuice after the renovation esp. the giant foot and the tissue paper lamp. Day-o! Thanks for the laugh.
Virginia Milligan says
This was totally what I needed this morning. While I agree that those that want others to view their home as expensively decorated and have pieces in the home for conversation starters, really the price is overwhelmingly high. I just don’t see the value, no one will buy that from you for that price, or no one sane anyway.
The foot sculpture would give me nightmares, so no thank you. The lamps well I have dogs, they would just play with them like big balls that they are. I will use real books to show how diverse I am in in literature, not to decorate. That is what pictures and what nots are for and even they have meaning to me.
And a source of pride for me is not just what I spent on something, it how much I saved cause I bought it 50 to 75% off. What a bargain. ; )
Loving the upcycled “material” that they are suggesting for you and your delightfully insightful commentary on the person that obviously keep buying it!!
Hope you are have a merry Christmas.
Abigail Goben says
I was almost on board for the candle. I like yarn, it kinda looks like yarn…sure. But at nearly $500? for a CANDLE?
Nope nope nope..
I am still trying to heft my jaw off the floor. The only things Facebook tries to sell to me are tacky clothes.
At least you found a practical function for the lamp ?
you are hilarious and a treat to read every time. thanks for brightening my mood. 🙂
Liv W says
I saw this last month and had a good laugh. Your post is the right home for it.
Were they serious about that, or is that a spoof? Cuz if it’s real? Wow what a load of _____, 4 rolls seems like not enuf! Hahahaha!
Liv W says
It’s definitely real. ? I took a picture from the catalog it was in because I couldn’t believe my eyes, and then sent it to my friends… who thought it was a hoax.
Maybe Gordon or other family members have been shopping. The black magic of internet cookies allows personalized ads to pop up — even across different devices! If you’re logged into your google account, for instance, it’ll save searches. I find it creepy everytime…one minute I’m shopping on my phone, and then three hours later on my computer I see an ad for the thing I was looking at on FB O__O
Susan Shaw says
$5 “Starry, Starry Night” Van Gogh Poster + 1 Black Sharpie + 1 orangey-yellow crayon + frame (on sale) = affordable “Starry, Starry Mordor” poster for my Middle Earth poster collection. Thrifty Consumers UNITE!
Betty M says
Oh my, I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. Thank you for the laughter
Maybe they are (trying) to plant a seed for one of your future books. They want inclusion. Your remark about the books and giving the wrong impression, they want to be included and want people to think they’re cool.
Eh, it’s the best answer I have.
This list made me laugh after a very rough start to my day, so I thank you! 🙂
I actually do have a set of four “decorative” books. They didn’t cost me anywhere near that. They are all books I bought and read at separate times over the years for between $2 and free and then one day noticed kind of matched in that old-dusty-muted-dark-cloth cover sort of way and so I stacked on top of each other and put a little picture frame on top. They sit on my aesthetic bookshelf in the living room that holds such things as family pictures, souvenirs and pretty knick-knacks I have acquired over the years. Plus it freed up space on my reading bookshelves in my bedroom, bonus! But the one listed here just looks too… made-to-be-decoration-y. And is expensive as all get out! Just buy books you want to read in pretty covers if you really want to display them.
Is it wrong I sort of like the pillow? Not for that price, and it wouldn’t match my other throw pillows so much (or rather, in another color it might but then it’ll throw the balance I have going off), but if I found something similar at the store for 10-20 bucks and was in the market I *might* go for it.
I’ve seen the Pinterest page for making those lamps. Cost less than $5. I’m also fairly certain I could make that candle in whatever color I wanted. And then it’d be scented.
Seriously? It’s like these designers have never been in an actual store with reasonably priced items or seen even the most basic of crafting ability done by the average joe.
I have no comment on the purple foot. There are no words,….
Patti Connelly says
Dear Ilona….thank you for making me laugh! The items were all ridiculous for sure, but your commentary was great. You say what everyone is thinking! Well most everyone….there must be some people out there who decorate with way rubber band balls, and a big purple foot! Thanks for the Friday smile!
Leanne Ridley says
Oh my – talk about having more dollars than sense! Even when she could afford new clothing, my mum loved shopping in thrift stores, and sometimes hit paydirt by finding a valuable item at low cost. One day I was shopping with her in Value Village and found a pair of knee-high black leather Roberto Vianni boots that fit her just right (size 5, wide feet) for $5.00 – we were both thrilled to bits 🙂
Value Village! That brings back memories! They and the Salvation Army kept me in clothing all through my college decade.
Leanne Ridley says
Yup, the Sally Ann (Salvation Army) thrift store was a significant source of clothing for us all when I was a kid and money was tight, in conjunction with discount stores such as the Army and Navy. It’s amazing the types and quality of items one can find in thrift stores, especially for patient and careful shoppers like my Mum was.
I would propose a 3rd category of shoe-buying female: “Do you have that in a size 12 or above? Extra fee to special-order? No thanks. Well, what do you have? Myyyyyy, thats…..(fugly)!”
Ok back over to the Mens Dept! Cruel, cruel genetics…..
Lost it with Purple foot lol. Thanks for the laugh! ?
Ann M. says
I need to start gathering all the strange stuff in my house, call it art, and sell it. I loved this post!
Debi Majo says
I think I’ve seen everything now… a giant purple foot, a tissue paper lamp and an unscented stupidly expensive candle!!!
I will say that I know FB “tells folks” about my posts! I was chatting on a friend’s page about “pour over” coffee at Starbucks and the next advert that appeared on my page was a pour over carafe from Walmart on sale! But at least FB knows I’m cheap!!!???
Claire M says
Thank you for sharing much hilarity!
Some people really do have more money than brains!!! I will happily spend £160 on a pair of boots. Solid horse riding/stable work boots cause it’s my job and I wear them too distruction. But, if I could find a pair that would last just as long for £30 and were just as comfy, I’d choose them in a heartbeat!!! I will often see fun t-shirts advertised on Facebook, but no, I’m not spending £40 on one. The £10 one I get from somewhere local works just fine thanks.
That said, I will totally buy double copies of favourite books to have matching covers etc on my shelves…so there are things I will splerge on 😉
Lorraine Trudgian says
Merry Christmas to you both and your families and enjoy your new Christmas tree.
Proof that facebook, google, Amazon, and a few others know exactly how much money you have and are capable of spending. It is scary how much metadata is out there about people. Until you sit back and think, does it really matter if they know this?
How utterly and unbelievably stupid! I’m not sure who shocks me more – the people that make that stuff or the people that buy it!
All I think about is if you really want to blow some money and you really do not concern yourself with budgets and such, donate the money! Do something good with it! Salvation Army, local food banks, teachers need gift cards for supplies for classrooms, Toys for Tots, coats for homeless people … baby it’s cold outside! In our community the fire fighters organize a huge fundraiser for kids for Christmas gifts. They help out 300+ families a year. The also have an ongoing storage unit where they take donations all year for families/people that loose their homes to fire – it’s all starter stuff. Our local CPS office takes donations of decorated pillow cases for kids to move their belongings in, blankets for them to cuddle with and feel safer. The local hospital will accept donations of hand knitted preme dolls for the babies to snuggle up to! Wow there is all kinds of stuff! That is my kind of spending!
The purple foot reminds me of the “Leg Lamp” in the Christmas Story movie. “Fragile” (pronounced Fra geel ae), it must be Italian”. The foot is also about as appealing as the Leg Lamp.
I do have a glut of cat fur that I can sell to the lady with the fur pillows. How about crayon pieces or candle stubs? Any takers? Ya, I thought not.
I’d laugh but really should cry…this is one of the reasons our world is so full of rubbish. Overpriced rubbish. I think some people live their lives too far from the natural world around them.