ILONA ANDREWS

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author

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  3. Zooterkins! What to do, what to do? I thought this a fake when I read a time limit of three days; rather than three nights, that is. But then I saw it was from the Master of the Dark Coven. It was obviously referred to a higher (lower) power by the vampires.
    Dire circumstances, indeed!

  7. Laughing so hard it is difficult to type! My first thought, on reading the title, was that some idiot tried to trademark “Magic”! You have definitely given my mid morning a boost. I needed the boost because one of the 4 year olds in the kindergarten where I volunteer has given me their cold.

    I don’t understand it. I am a fanatic about hand washing and hand sanitizer. It must be those wretched UNCOVERED coughs and sneezes. I do wish parents would try to instill that skill in kids before sending them off to school. Cough cough cough. Thank you, again, for my morning laugh. Cough cough.

    • I teach high school and I understand your pain. (I got to be sick over the winter holiday last year- mild case of the flu- because one of my students showed up really sick for exams). However what really helps is Airborne (spelling?) and EmergenC. I take them as a preventative when the coughing and sneezing starts in my classroom. They won’t always stop you from getting sick but they usually make it so you end up with a milder version that doesn’t last as long.

      Hope you feel better soon 🙂

    • My dad is 74 and he never covers his coughs or sneezes. He also claims he doesn’t know how to blow his nose, so he always goes to the bathroom to do it… he knows better, but I guess it’s too much trouble for him.

  9. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha…
    “Do they have silver in their genitals to increase sexual pleasure”???

    Can’t stop laughing from the picture in my mind…

    Thanks!

  10. A revenge served dead cold. Or hot-blooded. Can’t decide.

    An impossomable situation, to be sure. Happy vampires. Next Unicorns and Harpies.

    On to check Ms Frost’s blog…

  11. Here’s hoping Jeaniene Frost defies the “cease and desist order! Too funny, lol. Thanks for the mid afternoon laugh.

  15. Wow, I wonder if Laurel K Hamilton got one? I mean Jean-Claude is not only a breathtaking gentleman but engage vet happy. Anita keeps killing all the bad broody ones.

    Lol. So funny

  19. I have knowledge of all the angst-ridden vampires in the letter except for Jerry Dandridge! Okay! So he hails from 1985, Fright Night. lol… with a Colin Farrel remake at some point and a comic book. Watched this on YouTube: https://youtu.be/8LCGVV0m8ms
    I honestly cannot remember if I ever saw that movie or not, but all I got out of the video is that Prince Humperdink is a mean vampire.

    • Humperdink? Isn’t that the bad bad prince from the “Princess Bride”? Vampire? Really???

      • Yes! 🙂 I think I’d laugh through Fright Night, as Princess Bride is only movie role that he represents to me.

  22. Ok, I’ll bite (pun intended).
    When I wake up tomorrow I’ll do some digging (again !) but not in SOME GOTHIC CEMETERY…but rather in Amazon…

    Soon weekend…and then the kids go on holliday…
    I have some freetime coming up !

    Nice !

  24. Well, I wonder if Deborah Harkness got a letter from the good Master of the Dark Coven too. Not only do her vampires, like Matthew Clairmont, have happy lives but they have children too!!

  29. A contest where the person with the best response gets a prize like a crucifix, a vampire tooth or a lock of the Master of The Dark Covens hair would not suck.

  30. Hello to the Author Lords!

    So I THINK Ilona mentioned she reads manga, and now I am wondering if you have ever read Ibuki Satsuki’s ‘Yi Chui Wu Tiao Man Ji’. Technically it’s a manhua but I love this one. It’s mostly a lighthearted story with AMAZING art but the characters are so well fleshed out that is rare for many manga that I wanna know what you guys think of it.

    • Non spoilery sample:

      mangakakalot.com/chapter/yi_chui_wu_yue_tiao_man_ji/chapter_43
      In case anyone is interested

  31. Thank you, Ilona Andrews. I ROFLOL when I read the blog and letter this am and upset the pup and his kitten. Really did upset them as I had been MIA for almost 48 hours and they were convinced they had been abandoned with full food and water bowls when I rolled in last night at o dark hundred. Grin. Well, i had told them before I left I had to go take grandmother to a funeral. Also, it did take a lot longer than planned due to the detours for washed out by hurricane Florence bridges. And he is still a puppy and was a puppy mill pup…

    So I really enjoyed laughing today. Thank you for that. Oh yes, I do not read Ms Frost so I sent link to my sibling who does. She is the one who gave me an Ilona Andrews book for Xmas years ago because I read too much science fiction. Grin. So I hooked her on Patricia Briggs.

    I had a problem last week of teens removing mail from roadside mailboxes. Sheriff deputies responded and found suspects. I do not know yet if they recovered my neighbors stolen mail but postmaster is not happy. Our latest mail carrier who seems to be competent so far, after we, the route occupants, got rid of the one who put mail in boxes based on GPS not actual numbers on boxes after 3 months of daily misdelivered mail, is only on 4th week. So maybe Ms Frost or the Master of the Dark Coven got the GPS oriented mail carrier.

  32. While hilarious, no need to worry. It’s obviously a fake. The “Dark Coven Master” used the American dating convention, not the European day/month/year. So Jeaniene doesn’t have to be concerned, except about who would possibly send the fake ominous warning to her? Any candidates?

  33. Hi everyone in the UK … nothing to do with the above post, but I’ve just noticed Amazon UK has Iron and Magic as a Deal of the Day (Sat 6/10) at 99p!!! You have 5 1/2 hours ….

  34. I love this! And the later follow up post! I showed these to my daughter and she just walked around the house laughing!

    It’s wonderful to have friends that you can play with and joke around with!!

  35. How considerate that they left a print, even if it is not their own print. I hope that’s acrylic paint, because blood born pathogens…..ugh now that’s scarey. Me, I’d send that puppy in to the PD, you know, because you can and you paid for it with tax dollars.
    I too would like to see Cat & Bones hunt this threat down.

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