Right now time is in short supply, so yesterday I bought a rotisserie chicken at Sams. The plan was to strip it, throw the meat into a salad, and serve that for dinner.
Guess which jerk pushed the chicken off the island while it was cooling?
I come into the kitchen, the chicken is on the floor, the plastic package is opened, and the chicken skin is missing. We were very lucky my senile dog didn’t find it, or she would’ve choked for sure. Salem is such an ass in her old age.
I’m writing to you because I was really inspired by Emerald Blaze, and I was hoping it would be okay to reach out to you and ask for some advice.
I’m an author starting out on my publication journey, and I’m hoping you might have advice on how to pitch my first novel (young adult, modern fantasy) to an agent. Do you remember what was that magic-hook that opened the door for you, or what was the approach that worked best?
I really appreciate your taking the time just to read this email, and thanks in advance,
Reut
I’m a bit confused. How can you be inspired by a book that’s not out? If you just want some advice, it’s okay, you don’t have to preface it with anything. 🙂
Unfortunately, there is no magic hook.
Since you included a link to the website, here is a series blurb.
Julie’s life changes dramatically when she meets Mark Ralston, a famous New York entrepreneur and the man she is destined to love and protect.
Eight years ago she had to give up her magic to save herself and her family. Meeting Mark brings back her powers, but now a corrupt guild of mages are set to destroy them both.
Running away to the cold Scottish Highlands, the two hope to find refuge, but the guild sees all and no place is truly safe.
This is too generic. There is nothing unique here, nothing special. No twist that separates the work from hundreds just like it. You need to take a hard look at your work and decide what is that makes it stand out. Scottish Highlands, modern day witch, millionaire, we have seen this before many times and long ago. Also, it doesn’t make sense. If Mark is a bucks up New Yorker, why in the world would he run to the highlands, which is a small area in another country? Why wouldn’t he hire some muscle and go on the offensive on his home turf? It sounds like you wanted to set a book in the Highlands, so you shoehorned your plot into it.
Let’s borrow one of Amanda Quick/JAK books, because yours sounds similar. This one was published about 10 years ago.
A woman who hears voices. A man who sees visions. A killer who may elude them both.
When Raine Tallentyre made the mistake of revealing her paranormal abilities, her most recent romantic relationship came to a hasty end. Her Aunt Vella, a gifted but troubled soul, had told her years ago to keep her talents a secret. And now that poor Aunt Vella—her last blood relative—has died, Raine has resigned herself to a lonely life.
But when she journeys to Shelbyville, Washington, to clear out Aunt Vella’s house, Raine’s highly developed sensitivity leads her to a horrifying discovery: a young woman bound and terrified in a basement storage locker. The victim has survived, but the culprit is still on the loose. Without warning, a new man enters Raine’s life—investigator Zack Jones. Surprisingly, Zack isn’t repelled by her powers: in fact, he has them himself. While Raine hears voices, Zack sees visions and within hours of their meeting, Raine experiences an intense, thrilling intimacy—mental, emotional, and physical—she never dared to expect.
There’s one complication, however: Zack Jones is working for the Arcane Society. This secret organization, dedicated to the study of paranormal phenomena, shattered Raine’s family with an act of betrayal long ago, and she’s not about to trust them now. But as a killer makes her his target, and a cabal of psychic criminals known as Nightshade operates in the shadows surrounding them, Raine and Zack must rely not only on their powerful abilities but on each other .
This is a bit wordy, but I’ve chosen it for a reason. We have unique elements here: Arcane society, cabal of psychic criminals, a heroine with powers people find disturbing, betrayal, murder, a hot male investigator with paranormal powers. This promises to be an interesting story. Yours doesn’t, because the blurb you have now fails to communicate the unique elements of your novel. While this sounds harsh, New York publishers and literary agencies receive thousands of submissions. You have about thirty seconds to grab their attention with your query.
There are a ton of guides on how to write a good query letter, so I won’t repeat them. Here is an awesome FAQ from Jeaniene Frost to get your started. Your query should have words like murder, betrayal, fate of the world, losing everyone you love, etc. Make sure it doesn’t sound meh. If you can’t come up with a query that makes things sound desperate and unique, it might be a good time to rethink your book.
So sorry about your chicken dinner! Cats. (Shakes head)
If it helps, our grocery store also sells the rotisserie chicken meat pulled off the bone, cold, by the pound. That’s what I do when I feel like cheating at dinner. Ours is in the prepackaged salad area.
It is so nice of you to give advice to other authors. Especially when you’re on such a tight deadline! ????
Saw this for the first time 2 days ago and am going back to get more and freeze it.
Thanks for this! The only kind of writing I do is boring work stuff like specifications, and this is still a great way of looking at it: What’s important about this system? How is it different than other systems? What do we get only if we build it? What will catch on fire (or whatever bad thing) if we don’t build it?
That is one evil expression in your cat’s eyes! “Malevolent” comes to mind.
Sorry about the chicken! But you had a happy (jerk) cat! And I agree on meh for the book blurb.
You are so kind to beginning writers. So many times the questions are the same as are the answers, you know goid old READ more WRITE more EDIT more and marketing 24/7. Ps all of our 13gal Trash cans live in the sinks and bathtubs trying to protect trash from being dragged and spread around. I tell myself all that extra lifting up is building biceps.
I am so happy you used JAK as a sample, she hooks you for darn sure. Sry about the demon cat from hell, yup I had one too, but the purring, and the love and the making biscuits, how can you not love them.
JAK is about to see a resurgence of sales for this book ???? Been looking for few new reads to tide me over till Emerald. Thanks for the snippet yesterday, it was great!
If your interested in her book you could probably get it from the library.
Lol was thinking the exact same thing. Have to check these ones again ????
Sizzle and Burn is the third in the series. The series spans different eras- book one is historical (and written under the name Amanda Quick), books two and three are contemporary and there are several more books that follow that skip back and forth between time periods. If you aren’t interested in the historical books you won’t notice anything missing if you skip them. But if you really want to enjoy Sizzle and Burn, I recommend reading at least book two, White Lies, before you read Zack’s story in Sizzle and Burn.
Plus Jayne wrote futuristic novels under Jayne Castle and some were about the Jones family too.
Sorry about the cat. Been there with mine.
Thanks for putting a blurb of a favorite book. I love the Jones family book by JAK/Amanda Quick.
This looks just like my old cat Patsy (not quite 23 when she died and I still miss her) so I sent it to my sister with Patsy’s caption, “This is my box now. Go away.”
Lots of reminiscing ensued, so thank you.
LOL! Love the jerk cat! I have some of my own. My dogs can be jerks also. Still, in the end the love outweighs the occasional jerkness.
Sorry about the chicken, at least it wasn’t a Prime Rib. My side of the family still talks about when the dog got a hold of the roast when we had finished Christmas dinner. It happened almost 30 years ago.
Thanks for the information about pitches/hooks. It was interesting to relate it to how I pick out new authors and those key words would get me too look twice at a book. Plus now I feel like rereading Jayne’s book.
Salem doesn’t look sorry about the chicken.
It cracks me up that the only thing missing from the chicken was the skin, arguably the most delectable part!
Always interesting to read your take on the art and business of writing. I am impressed with your ability and willingness to offer such specific, useful pointers.
Your post today caused me to free associate from ideas of what makes writing interesting enough to keep reading to how that relates to my own work on my dissertation. There’s an impulse is to keep it very serious, but the risk there is that it could wind up being dust dry. Happily I have an advisor who is a history guy. His books tend toward the cinematic in flavor, while at the same time conveying rigorously grounded academic content. A good trick, that. Even though you were writing about fiction today, somehow this post seems applicable to what I’m doing. Cool.
At the same time I am reminded of something I ran across yesterday (from The Dissertation Coach, I think) along the lines that the goal of the draft is not perfection, but to get it written. Words on screen, and then more words on screen. Repeat often. Off I go.
It was nice to take a few minutes’ brain break with your piece today, so, thanks!
Just a thought about the dissertation: when you’re done writing the draft ask yourself “does this make sense to someone on my dissertation committee not in my department?” If it does, great! If it doesn’t, then find out where it doesn’t make sense. I literally wrote my dissertation to the one person on my dissertation committee who was not a biostatistician (she was a professor in the Physician Assistant department). She appreciated it, and I had less questioning (or grilling) from the committee because of it.
Nice! Appreciate the tip. Thanks!
The cat does not care. Lol!
Thanks for the nudge to reread Sizzle and Burn! And will likely end up rebuying as ebook.
Salem’s face says, “All debts will be settled on MY terms, hooman,” while leaving the carcass of what you treasured behind as evidence of his ruthlessness.
The void cat has no regrets ???? . Hope you are managing to sleep!
I had to laugh at Salem. I have to keep bread and most edibles either in the refrigerator or a cabinet they can’t open. I have one rotten egg that flips the latch on the area I keep the dry cat food in so it is all in plastic dog food containers. Least anyone think they are underfed I have one that is close to 15 pounds.
Love those four footed land sharks.
My cat did that to a ham one time that was cooling. Knocked it off the counter and licked the ham fat/juice off but never bit into the ham. Yes, cats – you cannot live with them or live without them.
Oh good. I’m watching NCIS while reading your blog and I kind of faded out and back in and thought the description was your pitch… I thought “What the heck book is that? I have read everything they’ve written and never read that. … or did I? I have read more books with magic users set in the “Scottish Highlands/lowlands” than I can count.
So I’m glad it’s not yours, altho I would be happy to discover that I missed an IA book so I have something to read after I finish the new JD Robb book out today. Just have to be happy with snippets and maybe another Innkeeper short??
We have a sour cream obsessed ninja cat. If you open a container of sour cream and look away for a second, she is there with her head shoved into it.
I have found that I use more of the sour cream if I get the squeeze kind.
I thought I would too, but I hate that you can’t see into the squeeze container.
Aaawww, She knows she is loved. But what a horrible prank. Lol. Love JAK!! She knows how to hook her readers.
One of the observations I have about the author asking for advice is this: The plot makes it sound like this is a much older age group than YA. This also sounds like every bodice ripper highlands fantasy I find on grocery store shelves. I’d read it, but would be seriously disappointed if they turned out to be 20 years old.
Your animal stories always make me laugh.
My cousins 15lb Eskipoo, managed to clamber on top of their piano to get to a cinnamon roll.
🙂
You are so kind to beginning writers. So many times the questions are the same as are the answers, you know goid old READ more WRITE more EDIT more and marketing 24/7. Ps all of our 13gal Trash cans live in the sinks and bathtubs trying to protect trash from being dragged and spread around. I tell myself all that extra lifting up is building biceps.
May I suggest cooling rotisserie chicken In the microwave as a secure (from cats) location? Been there, lost a chicken too, and bacon I baked that was cooling on the kitchen counter . ????????♀️
You are so kind to beginning writers. So many times the questions are the same as are the answers, you know goid old READ more WRITE more EDIT more and marketing 24/7. Ps all of our 13gal Trash cans live in the sinks and bathtubs trying to protect trash from being dragged and spread around. I tell myself all that extra lifting up is building biceps.
If anyone who writes is trying to grab my attention to read their book, I read the back of the book first to read the summary. Sometimes I don’t even get through the first two sentences before putting the book back or hit the “x” or back button online because of the “meh” factor. Another problem some authors (not you or any of the authors I buy constantly) have is they have the great summary but the story fizzles out in the middle and gets boring so I don’t finish it or I’ll skip to the end.
As to Salem…sneaky, sneaky. The glare in the picture says it all. My cats use to do the same thing. Then they give you the look like “ha-ha I did it. What are you going to do about it?” Sheesh. 😀
Oh yeah. Luke, my male cat, tried to eat an aloe leaf (my parents had an aloe plant on the kitchen table near a window) since it was in his way. The look on his face was priceless after biting into it. I laughed so hard my stomach hurt. All I got in return was a look that said “not funny human”. He was so disgusted that I got a chewing out (lots of meowing) for it.
My former feral will walk a mile, vertically, for fresh bread. He strips the crust off each slice, leaves the innards still in the bag in the loaf shape. I don’t know how. It’s a feline magic trick. I had to buy a Tupperware loaf keeper in desperation. It was that or new cupboards to keep the little sh!t out. He’s lucky he’s trained me well.
Yesterday afternoon I knocked a casserole of American style goulash onto the floor. I can’t even blame it on a cat – just my own clumsiness. I really wanted that for dinner.
Salem: Sorry… no not really. That was very satisfying… As is your reaction.
Sorry about your dinner! That sucks!
When I was little, we had a dog that spent long enough on the streets that he was a very good scavenger and would let no food within his reach go to waste… He wasn’t a very large dog, only about 20 pounds, and he had pretty much no teeth left. One Easter, my mom’s family came to our house, and my mom had set the ham unattended on the edge of the counter. I looked over and saw the dog with his front paws up on the cabinets, doing his very best to not let that ham go to waste! To alert my mom, I yelled across the house, for all our family and friends to hear, “Mooommm! Socks is sucking on the ham!” At least your cat and kids didn’t conspire to embarrass you in front of others (this time)!
My aunt had a dog that was born to a good breeder (this was in the 70s) and adopted at 8 weeks. His idea of deprivation was not being able to wear his favorite sweater because it was in the wash.
He knocked back a whole rump roast all by his lonesome.
The best part? He was a dachshund (aka a weiner dog or hot dog).
That’s impressive! One of my old co-workers had a dachshund that managed to eat I think an entire pound of butter once. It must be a dachshund trait…
I have long considered how foolish people are when they take a cat into their lives and imagine that said cat will behave in a manner acceptable to civilized society. Everybody knows they won’t, yet hope springs eternal. When a woman I know wanted a cat and her husband insisted that cats can’t be trained, so she couldn’t have one in the house, she brought him to see me and my cats to convince him that cats make great pets. I had one at the time who had a habit of jumping into my lap and putting his forefeet on my shoulders with his nose on one of my ears every time I sat down. It looked from the outside as if he were jumping up to give me a hug. So when I sat down with her husband already seated, I turned to the cat and said, “Ghost! Come and give me my hug!” and my white cat jumped into my lap and did what he did. Her husband was stunned. “Huh! I guess cats CAN be trained!” She got her cat. Nobody ever told him that the cat had trained me to tolerate that.
In years to come, you will recall the day Salem ruined your dinner plans for that chicken and laugh. I’m sorry it happened. A thing like that will cut right through all your thoughts when you need your thoughts to be in order. If it’s any consolation at all, it made me laugh now. Thank you. I needed that.
“In years to come, you will recall the day Salem ruined your dinner plans for that chicken and laugh.”
No, we will not, unfortunately. Salem is the oldest animal we have. She was a perfectly well behaved cat until a year ago, when she lost a large amount of weight, became grumpy, and started pushing things off the counters. The vet is monitoring her health, but her cognitive skills are becoming more and more impaired. Her and Del are in the same boat, so years are probably not in the cards.
That is so sad. I am sorry.
I’m so sorry, old crazy pets are hard. You love them, but the current behavior is not acceptable. Two snippets:. I had a friend whose cat got old and decided to express her displeasure with whatever by peeing on them while they were in bed, and two, my vet said “you’ll be able to tell when hypertension sets in because your cat will wander around the house aimlessly meowing”, our response “um, she does that already?”
Yeah, but when Salem is gone and all you have are memories of Salem, you will laugh at what she did. I still laugh myself silly at the things my cats did years ago that really were irritating at the time. Hindsight makes them amusing.
I have buried 33 cats and 3 dogs so far, and I have glorious memories of each and every one, despite having gone through the extreme sadness of them going back to God after such a brief time with me. In years to come, I will still have those memories of mine, and you will have memories of yours. The beauty of your memories (and mine) is that there will be no anger at the animal who lost all pretense of being civilized in old age. The “years to come” are yours, not Salem’s.
A funny Reddit thread called Cats are A-holes: https://www.reddit.com/r/CatsAreAssholes/
My cats tend to go for cakes cooling on the counter although they will make an exception for a good pie. I have learned the judicious of frosting to hide the depredations.
I want to read that Arcane Society book now.! ????
I love Jayne Ann Krentz’s / Amanda Quick’s Arcane Society series!
Why not hire a part time chef during this busy time? Write it off as a business deduction.
Many years ago a relative’s dog pulled the Thanksgiving turkey off the kitchen island. My sister was screaming like a banshee, it was so funny/not funny, boy she was pissed!
Story about your dinner. Your post reminded me of this quote “ If The Earth Was Flat, Cats Would Have Pushed Everything Off”. 🙂
Last time I baked a cake in my kitchen, I left it unattended to cool while I was upstairs visiting with friends. Luckily for me, said friends are animal and pet people, because darned if my furry darlings didn’t go and sample the cakes that I had cooling!
Cats can be trained, but only if they feel it is worth their while. My black cat, Veronica, will do a while bunch of tricks (shake, high five, low five, sit, etc.) while my part Siamese, Libby, looks on with disdain. Only occasionally will Libby deem me worthy enough for her to go up on her hind legs for a treat, but most of the time she won’t bother. I’ve had a couple of cats who would play fetch.
I cooked some chicken and left it on the stove to cook. Went to other room to answer the phone. Answer the phone and hear a low fierce growl, ignore it and hear another growl.
Cello, my tuxedo cat had climbed on the stove, stole a hot chicken breast from a hot pan and was consuming it and growling at Figaro my other cat.
Threw water on Cello, saved the chicken breast and divided it between the cats.
Then I put the pan of chicken on the fire escape , only safe place , to cool. And called my friend back.
My cats have also, attacked an opened bag of potato chips.
I read JAKand Amanda Quick and Jayne Castle.
I like her books, they are easy and quirky ( dust bunnies) but I didn’t like sizzle and burn. Remember thinking , no sizzle. But I do
recommend Deep Waters, olderbook, Tightrope, newer..Also,Amanda Quick or Jayne Castle books.
I think our pets , keep us grounded. And love up unconditionally. So you forgive them for stealing your chicken. Or sitting on your sweater that you were going to wear to work, but is now covered with cat fur.
And like your cat names, Salem and Tuna. My cats are named after opera characters.
Now now. The adults in the house should have known better than to leave a delicious treat sitting out. That was just an invitation for chicken stealing.
Not cool Salem! Also, I now want to read Sizzle and Burn. Talk about the power of the hook.
Thank you for the advice! Is there Uber eats in your area so you can order out? I see the kitty cat thinks she is queen of the castle. Cats…..
Rotisserie chicken is a lifesaver. I am very cautious about what we leave on the counters, however. Small glass or ceramic saltshakers are right out. That is all I’m going to say about that.
That cat has serious attitude. She is terrifying just sitting in that box 😀
Sounds like Salem is telling you that she wants more poultry in her diet.
Fun fact; cats need an essential amino acid available only in poultry for eye health. Some vegan accidentally blinded some of her cats on a vegan diet. SMH
Lol….love the expression on the cat’s face…very expressive eyes.
Despite the bluntness of your response, you were very kind to the letter writer … you have answered similar letters in the past but s/he must have been too lazy to search your site. If s/he is too lazy to do basic business research then you have to wonder how good her research in support of any book must be….My recommendation to any beginner writer would be to go to page one of the ‘business of writing’ section of your website and start reading. It’s a master class.
I have 4 cats and I never leave a rotisserie chicken on the counter. Put it in the microwave to cool and set a timer so as not to forget about it.
With Jayne Ann Krentz, the plot is interchangeable with every other going back some 30 years, except that now the heroines not soooo helpless. The Hero is always
charismatic, but not handsome. The heroine almost always is thin, with auburn hair and hazel eyes, and the dialogue always has someone say the good old New York phrase, “I’ve got news”, along with” If you will recall ” and “Huh!” among several annoyingly repeated others. Doesn’t matter if the scene is Victorian England, present day in Washington State, Or on some future planet, this same dialogue is inserted into the formula where these 2 people are the only people in the world that can sleep ( and Sleep) with each other. And the only 2 who can save each other(they usually take turns) and the woman saves the man at the end. And, of course, there is almost always a cave involved.
I’m sure, by now there is a computer program where she can insert new character and place names.
Here is the worst part—Every year when a new one comes out, I forget all that and read the next one. I think I’ve read every one of her books, but the blurb always hooks me.
So ,my advise, New Writer is this, spend a week in the library, or on Amazon, for that matter, and read all the blurbs on all the books in your genre that you can, and take notes on the ones that really hook you, starting with all of Ilona’s. When you surface from this emersion, study your notes and learn what it was about each blurb that hooked you and what strikes you as boringly repetitive.
Oh no! I have a cat that looks and acts just like her. His name is Darby but I call him the Demon. It fits so much better.
I grew up with a Siamese who was ADDICTED to Cheese Puffs. We moved the Puffs to the cabinet over the fridge to stop him from eating them (vet said he shouldn’t.) (Cat could open kitchen cabinets.) Sitting quietly in the kitchen one day, I saw him come in and start nosing around. Cat then jumped up on the counter, then jumped to the top of the fridge, maneuvered around so he could open the cabinet, and disappeared within! Sounds of crunching. I put the remainder of the bag in Tupperware. Came out another day to find the Tupperware on the ground, opened, with claw and teeth marks. I stopped buying Cheese Puffs!
The original publishing date of SIZZLE AND BURN is January 2008. It went on to be a major bestseller spending 4 weeks on USA Today Bestselling list and influenced many authors. Chameleon Assassin is a KU release published in 2016 that has never appeared on any main lists.
Congratulations. You did that thing kids do when they read ERAGON and get terribly upset at this guy Tolkien who ripped it off.
I agree with Ilona. At the time Sizzle and Burn, along with other books by Jayne Ann Krentz (aka Jayne Castle and Amanda Quick), was unique and different than what was written at the time. She kept the reader on their toes because she tied her Arcane series in different time periods. Dust bunnies anyone? ????
Yep, still enjoy the dust bunnies, thanks for reminding me of the books. Ilona’s Salem reminds me of our Inca. She adores sweet stuff and she is the reason all our food ends up in the microwave.
We only have 2 cats now, but as Inca is one of the ones left we still cool/store everything behind closed doors.
The other cat we have left can open the dried food cupboard door, so we mostly use containers.
Yup. I read all of JAK’s books under all her names when they were first available. They were definitely unique and I enjoyed them Still do and Iona’s are also unique, particularly when it comes to world building and characterization, primary AND secondary.y Murphy cat strolls into the kitchen every time he hears the can opener. It might be tuna!
One day my friend Jane decided to marinate some chicken. She placed it in the counter, doorbell rang. Delivery. Came back and only one chicken breast was in the bowl. Could have sworn it was three.
Two weeks later awful smell in the kitchen. After moving the microwave cart there was an unpleasant surprise. Two half eaten raw chicken breasts.
We suspect Zander, the male short haired black cat. He seems to be the counter surfer
Zander used to like her husbands collectible baseball cards, too
Oh, that Ripper of Chicken… #sorrynotsorry
Will there be ripper cushions without feathers?
🙂 Susue
Actually rolling on the floor laughing and muttering Rippercushions to myself. Remembers that I threatened my cute little (covered in fox crap) Bichon Frise with major Rippercushions the other day. But not feathers. They would only stick.
Beware the COUNTER CRUISERS!
I feel you. This one swiped the butter dish off the counter and licked it clean. Initially I discovered the empty bowl I the living room and blamed my kid for leaving dirty dishes on the floor. Oops.
Love that saying, it suits my dog perfectly. She has also learned to open the door where we keep our coats that have her dog treats in the pockets for when we walk her. Wet pockets ugh.
Many years ago I microwaved a soup with two pieces of chicken in it and place it on the table to cool. Then I went upstairs to bath.
Come back and found ONE piece of chicken, shrugged and thought that I remembered wrong.
A couple hours later went to the downstairs bathroom and found the missing piece of chicken with tiny nip on it on the floor.
The only living being beside me in the house is my cat.
When my cat, was an itty bitty kitten, my mom had just taken a roast mutton out of the oven and left it on the counter too cool before cutting. He managed to jump the counter, which we didnt know he could do yet, and ran off with the roast, which was probably triple his weight. How the hell could he even pick it up! I chased him through the house and cornered him on the upstairs carpet. Managed to save the roast. Ill never forget the image of my tiny spindly siamese kitten running past me with a massive roast in his mouth.
Wait, ‘saving a roast’ that has been dragged through the house in the mouth of a kitten? How does that work – I’m impressed (or repulsed)?
Thats the amazing thing, he was strong enough to hold it off the ground! He didnt drag it! Strong baby.
I…
the cat bit it? you know, the mouth of the animal which contains a staggering ammount of nasty bacteria? and then you guys ate it? Is this satire?
That was gangsta. I respect the cat’s game. Surely has a jungle cat for an ancestor.
An age ago I had a magical cat named Robespierre. He was a big fella; rescued from the wild as a wee kitten – so we couldn’t tell initially. He had some bobcat in him. One memorable Thanksgiving, I’d left the turkey carcass out – with full intent of stripping it down for soup, sandwiches, and whatever else one does with leftover turkey. I turned my back for a moment… and heard a loud thunk. I turned, just in time to see my turkey rounding the corner, headed for our bedroom, locked in Robespierres jaws. The chase was on! It ended with the cat under our bed, me gripping the greasy bird as best as I could, playing tug of war. I’d say “drop it!” whilst Robespierre growled threateningly. It was quite the scene. I think we both won in the end. The carcass broke. I got the lions share, while my cat growled, hissed and mumbled over the smaller piece he managed to acquire. Cats exist in their own world. Occassionally they share it with us. I still mourn Robespierres passing.
What a wonderful memory! The weird stuff that our kittehs do never ceases to amaze and befuddle me.
Did you ever wonder? A: if Robespierre had any littermates? … And B: what stories THOSE folk could share!
LOL
Salem doesn’t look the least bit contrite. In fact that’s a “Yeah, and I’d do it again-look” if I ever saw one.
Pets and their quirks. My current two will lap at the drained water off canned tuna and that’s about it. Cranky would get into the butter so I changed her food and that stopped. When she was younger she liked potato chips. It must have been the salt because on PE day she would get on the back of the chair and lick my son’s hair for her fix. She also loved to roll around on my son ‘s smelly manure boots. Some really good memories over the years.
I was frying chicken – chicken in skillet. Cat jumped on the counter, snagged a piece of chicken out of the pan and ran for it. Stunned, I looked for the cat. Finally found him. He had hidden in the hall closet, where coats, boots, were kept. He finished his chicken off comfortably behind an old shoe. Dogs are less good than we think – just much sneakier and able to fake innocence. But when they think they are unobserved…. I like both dogs and cats, and like living with both. Currently, just have a Jack Russell, age 14. Very clever, gets bored and expects me to do something about it.
My brother-in-law, before he was my b-In-l, had a roommate who regularly ate everything in site. One night after a particularly awful work day picked up some thai food on the way home. Not just any thai food, a drive 20 minutes out of my way thai food – it was a pretty awful work week. He arrived home only to find no beer. He left his bag on the counter and ran up the street. Back in 10 minutes, but no food. Bag, tin foil container are gone. Not in the fridge, not in the trash. He and the roommate had a huge blowout. There were threats made.
A week later my future b-in-law was mowing the lawn and discovered a new pile of dirt on the edge of the lawn. Fairly carefully buried was the tin container with plastic cover and plastic bag. The giveaway were the teeth marks. Sadie Mae the hound, my b-in-law’s hound, was VERY good at hiding her indiscretions. My b-in-law ended up eating crow.
One Christmas morning I took the chicken I had cooked the night before out of the fridge to cut up. I got distracted and ran upstairs. When I came down the chicken was missing. I found it on the deck outside missing a leg and breast. The deck was wet I rushed out slipped on the greasy wet surface and crashed down breaking a wrist and tearing the muscles in my upper arm. Guilty party my big old dog. Had to have him euthanased late last year as he was sick and in pain. I wish I could have him back, he could have as many chickens as he wanted.
I asked my husband to take a frozen cake out to thaw. This was 1/2 a Bundt cake. Got home and there is no cake. Asked my husband if he took it out (he did)) and asked if he put the top on the cake pan. No. The culprit was my pit bulldog. Ate the entire 1/2 cake, not even a crumb.
Oh, that is a very unrepentant glare! I have a house without a cat at the moment. Your photo does make me smile and wonder if it’s time for a visit to the local shelter. Then the soon to be elderly Shih Tzu looks at me with large trusting eyes and I think perhaps not. My daughter went off to school and I became this one’s person. To compound injury with insult, my daughter adopted a tiny stray kitten, who morphed into a huge wildcat, who exhibits a pronounced caninecidal tendency during his brief appearances. I guess I’ll have to remain without a cat for awhile, but please keep posting pictures of yours!
Have a twist on this one. Bought a dark cherry pie during the holidays. The GOOD kind. We were going to have it after dinner. Came downstairs and found some missing. Piece of crust sitting on the floor next to the cat’s bed. I pretty impressed with the cat’s ability to wield a knife. Cut his piece right out of the pan! Some human stinker tried to frame him. Details people!
Hahahahaha, he was innocent! Glad you figured it out
When my cats were kittens you couldn’t leave any plants or vegetables out for any length of time because they would eat them. One time they ate half a papaya. To this day i have to give them lettuce when I am cutting it. I thought they might have gotten over some of it as lately my fruit has been safe. I bought another papaya and put is in a bag with some bananas to ripen them. I got up after hearing odd noises from the kitchen and Rosie had already eaten a third of the papaya. What happened to cats being strict carnivores?
My family and I went away to visit relatives for a weekend. We realized too late in the trip that food had not been left for the cats. We felt bad but figured they would survive for two days. While gone our cat Milkywhite jumped on top of the fridge, opened the cabinet, and pushed an unopened 15 pd bag of cat food onto the floor. We came home to two plump cats and a small mountain of cat food on the kitchen floor.