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ILONA ANDREWS

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Signs of Life

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Dina: Welcome, everyone. Please help yourself to the tea and cookies.

Curran: Question – why are these cookies shaped like little beer barrels?

Dina: Our chef watched a documentary on St. Bernard dogs who rescue people from avalanches. Apparently there is an urban legend of them carrying small kegs of brandy to warm up people they dig out of the snow.

Rogan: Explains the bone shaped cookies and the paw prints as well.

Sean: Yeah, he got a theme and just kind of ran with it.

Nevada: Well, it’s not off far off the mark. They are snowed in.

Kate: Look, I know that you are losing your cool here, but just because they are working on something else doesn’t mean you are abandoned.

Curran: Magic Triumphs came out in 2018 and they came back to the series in 2022. Look at the Kinsmen Universe. They had to wait 10 years for the next in the series.

Catalina: To be fair, it’s a very episodic series. Separate protagonists for each book.

Alessandro: Exactly. And they switched publisher for the last one.

Sean: Curran’s point stands: they’ve been only working on this one for about a year.

Arabella: Two years, technically, on and off. It’s not the duration of absence. It’s the intensity. Let’s review: they normally have a side project going along with their main one. There is no side project. There is nothing on the blog. When do they take time from the blog?

Catalina: Never.

Arabella: Exactly. It’s their main marketing tool. They’re so on the ball with it that when they don’t post for a few days, people start emailing and asking if they are divorcing or some horrible emergency occurred. They’ve blogged through the surgery recovery, for goodness sake.

Kate: You are catastrophizing. You do that a lot.

Arabella: Please provide me with detailed examples of when I catastrophized something?

Nevada: You are doing it right now.

Arabella: I don’t think you’re understanding the severity of the situation. You, Kate, of all people, should be upset. They promised your next novella. They haven’t written it. They promised Hugh and Elara’s next book. They are not writing it either. All they do is edit that… whatever it is. Mod R said she has 6 versions of this book. 6. And why is it twice as long as anything they’ve written before?

Sean: Where is Hugh and Elara, by the way?

Curran: Something came up. Some dark druid something or other. They’ve got about a chapter in and so they are waiting to see if anything else gets written. Right now everything is bad and the herbs are dying.

Catalina: Wait, does this mean your panacea supply is in danger?

Kate: We stockpiled both on our side and the Pack’s but yeah, basically. You know how they are. If there is a chance to ratchet the stakes up a notch, they always go for it.

Dina: Yes, it’s never like if you don’t do this, it’s a minor setback. If they were writing a story about baking a pie, the world would be in danger of blowing up if the crust burned.

Kate: To be fair, people expect that from them.

Dina: I’m not disagreeing. It’s just tiring, that’s all.

Catalina: Some of that is due to the editorial feedback. Maggie started out as a slice of life adventure. First, their agent told them to make it more intense and now the editor has asked for even more tension. I have seen the editorial notes. Every time someone has a lighthearted moment, there is a note asking if it’s worth to add one more beat of earnest tension to it.

Arabella: I don’t care. This is beside the point.

Dina: What is the point?

Arabella: Why are they working on that mess when they could be writing something more important? Do they not understand what the people want?

Sean: What do they want?

Arabella: Me! They want me! My trilogy is a pile of money waiting to be scooped up!

Alessandro: Figuriamoci.

Nevada: Oh, here we go.

Arabella: This person they’re writing about doesn’t even have any magic powers. She doesn’t transform, she doesn’t fight with a sword, she is not good at any of the hero things. Who would want to read about her?

Kate: Respect the creativity of people who made you. They have never written a weak protagonist.

Curran: Some dangers aren’t obvious.

Rogan: Good things come to those who wait.

Arabella: I have waited enough! I…

Dina: Welcome to Gertrude Hunt. This is a private meeting, but I will be glad to show to a room.

Maggie: Thank you. But that won’t be necessary. I’m just here for Orro’s cookies.

Alessandro: Awkward.

Dina: Of course. Please help yourself.

Maggie: Is it okay if I take a few? Some for the kids and one for Reynald?

Dina: Please.

Maggie: Thank you.

Arabella: I just want to know one thing.

Maggie: What is it?

Arabella: What’s so special about you? What is your power?

Maggie: Oh. I’m a fan.

Catalina: I’m sorry.

Maggie: I am a fan. I read books over and over. I obsess over the details, like which region the armor came from, how far can a magic horse run in a day, and what are the medieval bras made out of. I know everything about all of you. I have read your books over and over. I know your motivations, your secrets, and your hidden thoughts. Those private doubts you kept to yourself during your woe-is-me moments? The unkind things you sometimes thought about your loved ones? I can quote them from memory.

Arabella: …

Maggie: Thank you for the cookies.

Dina: You are welcome to visit any time. …. Okay, she’s gone.

Sean: Well, that was eerily disturbing.

Alessandro: How did she even know how to get here… Oh.

Kate: I told you.

Rogan: Next time, we need to invite her.

Dina: Oh, don’t you worry. I’ll be sending an invitation with a platter of cookies.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  7. Omgosh, was that…MAGGIE!! **Squeeee** I absofantastically love the cast of characters HA creates. But, alas, the wa*ting is killing me…

  9. This was hilarious and I loved every second! Maggie establishing her power as a fan was epic.

  10. Thank you for taking time out from the editing to give us such a wonderful gift…this was so much fun! HA always gives us so many wonderful worlds and stories, and now Maggie…I can’t wa*t to read her adventures (but I will, and I’ll even try to be pat*ent!) I already feel like I know Maggie, and she is one of us!!! 🥰💕💕

    Also, side note to Mod R: I’ve been so busy lately that I haven’t had time to comment much, but I especially wanted to thank you for your posts while editing has been going on. So much fun to read! I enjoyed all of them, and they only show once more that you are very talented and so good to the BDH! 🥰💕💕

    The BDH is indeed a fluffy and very blessed horde! 🥰💕💕💕

  16. Thanks so much for this. Thanks to the BDH for the comments too. Great fun! Time to reread some of my favorite IA books while I w*#t for Maggie stc.

  19. omg love that so much, all those characters are in my heart <3 ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 ❤️ 🧡 💛

  22. Thank you 😊 but now I’m kinda worried about the edits they are asking of you. Heartwarming or light-hearted moments are sometime needed to breath in a book🤔
    I hope you stay in good health, and that the change to concierge medecine is still efficient. I’ve looked up things on the American Health insurance system, and for me it’s the mafia. They take protection money from you, but don’t give anything back when you need it 🥲 and they are taking medical decisions for you without having a medical license..

  23. Do not stress, House Andrews. I am sure the BDH can survive on cookie crumbs a bit longer 🙂 thanks for this sign of life <3

  25. Yes, the people absolutely DO want the Arabella trilogy. Big pile of money. Pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I have faith it will happen one day. Perhaps not soon. But one day.

  26. If anyone is getting stressed about why all the Maggie work, I was a beta reader for it and I am 100% convinced that it will be the book that takes ia to an super big audience.

    All the comments about how they are changing it are awesome, I struggled to understand what changes were needed and with every time it’s ohhhh yeszzz that’s it. I can only think it must be a pretty damn big masterpiece by now as it was damn good before.

    • That means more potential Horde members! New members are always welcome. 🙂

      Keep up the great work of being a beta reader. Speaking as a member of the Horde, all your work is greatly appreciated.

  27. Absolutely hilarious!! But, I really want Arabella’s trilogy and the next Innkeeper badly. Maggie…… We’ll see

    • No, it is entirely independent, with no links to any of the previous universes. This was just for fun 🙂

  29. Haha! Brilliant, this is gold 👌🏼
    I feel the same as everyone else, those lighthearted moments and interactions in-between the tension, intensity and action elevate the story, providing balance, making it all the complete package. I adore your writing ♥️🙏🏽 and cookies 😁

  30. Love it, always up for a new character (watching for preorder link).
    AI, please do not take the requests, grumblings and outright begging from the BDH as anything more than an immense show of love and devotion. AI and BDH seem to have a very deep co-dependent relationship. We outright love you; your are our favorite “recreational drug” of choice, so we are always ready, waiting and wanting our next fix. So when there is nothing new forthcoming fast enough, we start having withdrawal pains. A select few of us are more advanced in years than you (Arabella attitude), and we don’t want to miss any of your literary gift offerings. Patience is a virtue and…a massive PAIN in the lower posterior seat cushion. (Plus I don’t think my kindle will make it to the great beyond. (weeping sounds))

  32. Thank you for this, it made my morning! Hang in there, HA-this too shall pass. As others have said, it may pass like a kidney stone, but what a relief after 🙂 We can do the wait thing. I’m re-reading to get my fan status closer to Maggie’s!

  33. After the edits are completed I cannot wait for House IA to begin the weekly chapters again.

    But I have a strong theory stuck in my noggin………. the inn’s new door into Arland’s world is like a batman signal in the sky, because Dina will need Maud’s new superpower to help defeat the corrupt innkeeper, and Maud and Dina’s coalition of superfriends who owe her a favor to find their parents.

  37. I’m with Arabella on this one! WE DO WANT ARABELLA! Please please please please, for the love all cookies and apple cakes in the world, you must give us Arabella at some point. I’m willing to wait years, YEARS, with the promise that it will come.

  38. Arabella: Me! They want me! My trilogy is a pile of money waiting to be scooped up!

    Yes, yes we do want Arabella.

  39. Thank you for lightening up this day. I loved the banter. Thank you also for letting Maggie stop by.

      • Mentioning voting is not political discussion or debate in favour of a po political candidate or cause 🙂. Your comment is fine!

  44. OMG. That was the best!!! Has House Andrew ever thought about writing a novel or novella combining their characters. This was so much fun to read. They made me laugh. Totally entertaining!
    Thank you 😊

  45. I love how the multiverse links through the inn, while breaking the fourth wall! It’s the best!

  47. I loved this. All of my favorite people together. You guys are the best. Lifelong fan.

    Was just thinking about what to reread.

  48. I love the Innkeeper books and have introduced the audio versions to my husband who always puts them on every time we’re in the car. Thanks!

  49. Loved this, and I can’t wait for Maggie. She’s gonna be worth holding up some other books- idc! Sorry Arabella!

  52. Gertrude Hunt and her unexpected guests! I’d love to stop by for some of Orro’s cookies! 😉

    Thank you for tea and cookies with everyone…well most of them! I’m looking forward to Maggie…whenever it’s ready. 🤗

  53. Arabella is not wrong, I’m just saying – people are waiting for her trilogy and it will sell well

  57. Cute messaging. But how about ALOT more stories about Maud and Arland and Dina and Sean. Pretty please- I beg you! What happened when the brother appeared at House Krahr? And what about Karat? Will she be the love interest for Maud’s brother? You could write 60 stories about that universe which would more than cover me until my dementia kicked in.

  59. That was fun! I love how Kate and Nevada stood up to Arabella! Of course this just wet our collective appetites for more. More of anything. Take care of yourselves! 💕

  61. thank you, it is so very good to see the whole gang together, but … I also would like a barrel-shaped cookie please … have you considered going into the mail order bakery business? you know, on the side, in your free time heh heh heh?

    🙂

    p.s. take your time, stay healthy, have some fun, I am okay with waiting

  62. If Orro is interested, I have a St Bernard shaped cookie cutter. I use it when I make treats for my Saints. I really, really wouldn’t mind if Orro borrowed it to make his cookies and then returned it with a tray of said cookies!!!!

  63. Oh please make this a recurring feature! It’s brilliant and fun for all those little questions and anxieties and sneaky hints.

  74. This was fun. Loved the party. Love the books. Given my efforts at writing “papers” I have nothing but sympathy for House Andrews. Good for Maggie. Frankly, I think I’d be tempted to give Arabella a good kick on the shins from time to time.

  78. So nice to read that everyone is still alive. I crave for a new book. I have been rereading all the books in anticipation of something new. Give

  83. Truly delightful! Thank you for sharing your amazing talent with us to bring a bit of sunshine to the Horde.

    May it have been as enjoyable to write as it was to read!

    Sending peace, love and safety to all!

  84. As if more proof were needed of the nerd shall inherit the earth… Maggie says “hold my beer” to Kate and owns arvo tea. Gold.

    Keep calm and read a physical book on, fellow word nerd herd! See you in a week!

  87. Thank you HA! I love everyone, but there is a special place in my heart for Arabella. Can’t wait to read her story. No pressure….

  90. Ah nooo. I really hope we don’t lose all the lighthearted moments from Maggie. I am addicted to reading isekai and would definitely read it anyway, but all tension all the time fuels my anxiety lol.

  92. Hi, I love all your writing, but please is there going to be another Julie and Derek story? I felt it ended on a “bit ” of a cliffhanger and Bloodheir was soooo good…. pretty please 🙏

    • HA= House Andrews, one of the names the fans use for the authors, Ilona and Gordon 🙂.

      RL= I can’t see that in the article, so unsure what the context is. If I had to guess it’s Real Life, as in irl (in real life) vs online. If you let me know where you’ve seen it, I can give more insight!

  95. I saved this until today! Thank you for the treat of seeing all the characters interact. Was just hoping Rose would show up too! He he.

  96. Looove this!

    Also – please know that most of BDH DOES know that the blog is a gift y’all do in your meager spare (what spare?!) time. The idea that people message to ask if y’all are divorcing or going through something traumatic is ridiculous (and can we talk about overstepping some boundaries?!) We know how busy y’all are! You keep us in the loop – so it’s not a secret 🤷‍♀️

    even if people message out of love .. still. We can do better, BDH! Laying on the stress will not make published works appear sooner.

    I’m saying this to say – keep up the good work HA! We’re not going anywhere.

    • This is why we have a fluffy branch of the Horde. It’s for those of us who can wait and be patient (yes – I did the two swear words of the BDH) for books and posts to come to us.

      I am part of that branch. I thought is when we get it, we get it. 😀

  97. This is glorious! What a fantastic way to give an update on all your series and leave a hook for the new work. Which of course, we will buy.
    Stay safe and well. Thank you

  98. Oh! I’m with the ‘we need the slice of life sections’ group. Some of the best parts of the Orro story were in the slice of life materiel in the Sweep with Me book. And the absolute funniest.

  99. Cookies…..COOKIES!
    Apple cider cookies, lemon melting moments, soft molasses ginger cookies, oatmeal with cashews & apricots- maybe cranberries!
    This is an obvious plot to distract the Horde from its insistence on new material.
    Clever, but is it clever enough?

  100. please don’t make your new book too suspenseful. I know this is for new readers/fans, but part of my enjoyment of your books is because they are Not too suspenseful. If it goes too far I may not be able to read it. Just saying…