Things disappear in our house.
I-phone charging cords. I buy these cords all the time. I just ordered 6 of them. They vanish. It’s very simple: two cords for the charging station, one cord for each computer, two cords for the car. The current total of cords in the house: 1. How? How does this happen?
Hair scrunchies. I buy a giant pack of hair scrunchies. I need a scrunchie for the kitchen, because nobody likes hair in their food, and I need one every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, because I am going to the gym to be tortured. Little by little they vanish out of the drawer. Okay, let’s say the kids steal them. What happens to them after? I never see them in the trash.
Spoons. That’s right, the spoons are gone again. By the way, I bought a lovely set of rose gold spoons on Wayfair.
It’s now been four months and the coating wore off, so they just look like simple stainless steel spoons. Do not recommend. Fail.
Spiders. For her birthday Kid 2 purchased a pet tarantula. He is surprisingly adorable and his name is Paul. At first we thought Paul was too cold. Than we thought Paul was too hot. Then Paul sat like a rock and wouldn’t move for three days so we very gently nudged him with a wire hanger because we thought he might be dead. Then Paul buried himself and we had to read a lot of literature to assure ourselves he would not suffocate. Then Paul disappeared. Panic occurred and Gordon was carefully questioned, because he disapproved of the spider idea and promised that if Paul ever escaped, he would return him to the wild. It’s an empty threat, but we took it seriously. Paul was finally located in a very long burrow he had dug up at the back wall of the terrarium. We are patiently waiting for him to come out.
Cats. Edward is a Munchikin cat. It’s a naturally occurring mutation which results in shorter than normal legs for a cat, kind of like Corgi for dogs. Due to his mom being a Himalayan kitty, Edward has issues with his tears. They are dark brown in color and if his eyes are not cleaned every day, the tears dry up on his fur. Usually one of us makes sure that we clean his eyes, but apparently he decided to take matters into his own paws and scratched his eye with his hind legs. His hind legs are very powerful and he scratched himself so well, he got himself an ulcer.
So we bring him to the vet. The vet saw his third eyelid shut in an effort to allow the eye to heal and instructed us to put ointment into his eye. For 10 days we have done so. We took him back to the vet, the eyes was unsewn, and good progress in healing was made. More ointment was prescribed. We took Ed home.
He didn’t come when called, which he usually does. He didn’t come to be groomed, which is what he loves. He is a selfish jerk and he isn’t there for companionship as much as he is there for being brushed. He didn’t respond to treat box shaking. Kid 1 was blase about the whole thing, maintaining that he was too spoiled to have escaped.
We thought he might have escaped. I went out and searched the road near our house thinking he might have gotten hit by a car. Nothing. On day 3, Gordon got up at 2:00 am, because he decided Ed was in the back yard stuck in a tree. Guess who went stumbling about in the dark in her night gown with a flash light at 2:00 am calling “Kitty, kitty, Eddie!” We searched for him for 20 minutes.
On day 4 we decided that he likely gotten out and someone must’ve picked him up and took him home, because he is a very cute cat. Then, at lunch, in the laundry room I saw the cabinet door swing open and he sauntered out of there like nothing ever happened.
Things need to stop disappearing. We have galleys going out and I am too stressed out for this crap.