Things disappear in our house.
I-phone charging cords. I buy these cords all the time. I just ordered 6 of them. They vanish. It’s very simple: two cords for the charging station, one cord for each computer, two cords for the car. The current total of cords in the house: 1. How? How does this happen?
Hair scrunchies. I buy a giant pack of hair scrunchies. I need a scrunchie for the kitchen, because nobody likes hair in their food, and I need one every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, because I am going to the gym to be tortured. Little by little they vanish out of the drawer. Okay, let’s say the kids steal them. What happens to them after? I never see them in the trash.
Spoons. That’s right, the spoons are gone again. By the way, I bought a lovely set of rose gold spoons on Wayfair.
It’s now been four months and the coating wore off, so they just look like simple stainless steel spoons. Do not recommend. Fail.
Spiders. For her birthday Kid 2 purchased a pet tarantula. He is surprisingly adorable and his name is Paul. At first we thought Paul was too cold. Than we thought Paul was too hot. Then Paul sat like a rock and wouldn’t move for three days so we very gently nudged him with a wire hanger because we thought he might be dead. Then Paul buried himself and we had to read a lot of literature to assure ourselves he would not suffocate. Then Paul disappeared. Panic occurred and Gordon was carefully questioned, because he disapproved of the spider idea and promised that if Paul ever escaped, he would return him to the wild. It’s an empty threat, but we took it seriously. Paul was finally located in a very long burrow he had dug up at the back wall of the terrarium. We are patiently waiting for him to come out.
Cats. Edward is a Munchikin cat. It’s a naturally occurring mutation which results in shorter than normal legs for a cat, kind of like Corgi for dogs. Due to his mom being a Himalayan kitty, Edward has issues with his tears. They are dark brown in color and if his eyes are not cleaned every day, the tears dry up on his fur. Usually one of us makes sure that we clean his eyes, but apparently he decided to take matters into his own paws and scratched his eye with his hind legs. His hind legs are very powerful and he scratched himself so well, he got himself an ulcer.
So we bring him to the vet. The vet saw his third eyelid shut in an effort to allow the eye to heal and instructed us to put ointment into his eye. For 10 days we have done so. We took him back to the vet, the eyes was unsewn, and good progress in healing was made. More ointment was prescribed. We took Ed home.
He vanished.
He didn’t come when called, which he usually does. He didn’t come to be groomed, which is what he loves. He is a selfish jerk and he isn’t there for companionship as much as he is there for being brushed. He didn’t respond to treat box shaking. Kid 1 was blase about the whole thing, maintaining that he was too spoiled to have escaped.
We thought he might have escaped. I went out and searched the road near our house thinking he might have gotten hit by a car. Nothing. On day 3, Gordon got up at 2:00 am, because he decided Ed was in the back yard stuck in a tree. Guess who went stumbling about in the dark in her night gown with a flash light at 2:00 am calling “Kitty, kitty, Eddie!” We searched for him for 20 minutes.
On day 4 we decided that he likely gotten out and someone must’ve picked him up and took him home, because he is a very cute cat. Then, at lunch, in the laundry room I saw the cabinet door swing open and he sauntered out of there like nothing ever happened.
Things need to stop disappearing. We have galleys going out and I am too stressed out for this crap.
Thank you for reassuring me that it isn’t just me at my house:)
Too bad about the flatware they look really pretty!
The cat one made me LOL. We have two black cats and search for them on a daily basis. So far, neither one has managed to hide as successfully as Ed did, but Salem (the spry, hyperactive one) jumped out of the cabinet above the refrigerator the other day (almost scaring the pants off me, TBH). It’s 6+ ft above the floor, and we’re still unsure how he got himself in there.
I love these post because it reminds me am not the one one with bad days. Don’t worry about the scrunchies. I live with four other people who use them. No one knows what happens to them.
Oh wow! I thought I had problems with the dryer eating the socks! ?
Tweezers, fingernail clippers and socks. Also phone charging cords.
You have the same inter-dimensional thieves as me!!!!
Oh I KNOW where the fingernail clippers went. My husband uses them as his thinking/fidget item. No matter how good they are, they eventually break and end up in the graveyard at the back of his desk. I got a pair of really, really nice ones and told him not to touch them or he’d be finding (they’re Japanese and hard to find) plus paying for (not cheap) a new set, plus got him a bunch of cheap ones. Problem solved. Although, hmm, it may be time to restock the cheap ones….
What works for me on the charging cords is that they all have a designated location/plug. And if you want a charge, you go to the plug. Most of the cords are in strategic locations, like next to a shelf by the couch, so it’s not too onerous.
I have my tablet and phone charging cords plugged right by my bed so I can easily charge them when needed and never have to search for them. I can verify that this is something that works!
As to your hair ties… your cats are stealing them. My cat used to steal mine all the time and I would find them in a ‘nest.’
Nail files and earrings – but only one of each set.
The phone cords are probably disappearing to the same place as the hair ties. My two will play with cords even when I am watching and yelling at them. It takes getting up and physically removing the cord to make them stop. I have to keep extras in a drawer, which they have not figured out opening yet, and not in a cabinet with a door. (I have to keep doors I don’t want opened locked.)
You are lucky. My cat knows how to open drawers. She climbed up somehow to the top cupboard to get the dog’s dehydrated chicken treats. Very expensive at $35. She ate the whole new package.
I was losing socks. I finally found them in the back of my cupboard, in a little nest, with my dog sleeping on them. She was very upset when I took them away.
This is true. Our cats put them under the rug at the bottom of the stairs.
You and your family are endlessly entertaining ???
I second that
I know today when I come home early from work to take Felix cat to the vet (because he is wearing fur off his tummy and ears…)he will be missing, it will take all three of us to find him for his own good….
Hopefully everything will stay where they are suppose to in the future….
Oh, so true. I had one who clawed a hole in the box spring and would climb inside when it was time for a vet visit. I had to dismantle the bed, moving the mattress and box spring to get to him. I have had to cancel so many vet visits because of MIA kitties that the vet now says to just drop them off in the morning when I find them (because they would miraculously appear as soon as I called to cancel). She works them in as she can when I leave them and I pick them up on the way home from work.
Maybe things time travel.. Some to the future, some to the past, some to other dimension(s)…:)
Just watched the latest Avengers :), would love to see your take on it.
Best of luck!
Back when my husband and I were smoking the lighters disappeared. When we quit, they starte to show up again, so we still have a big bag of lighters we don’t need anymore.
Hair scrunchies disappeared, as long as I had long hair. When I got a short hairstyle they starte to show up again.
I believe it is black holes or unfriendly elves or mages. Still unsure what is more likely.
I’m starting to think you have an invisible prankster living in your home, or someone who shares space with you is an evil genius and has a box of all the things that disappear (sans the cat and spider) and is watching and waiting to see the results of their most evil experiments.
Thank you for the laugh this morning, and I hope your kitty stays put and feels better!
I see you your spoons and raise you socks – all of my favorite socks are now orphans. Let’s not start into Tupperware or Rubbermaid lids and bottoms that are mismatched.
Can you attach little bells to your charging cables? $10 says the cats or dogs are making off with the cords.
Silverware gets thrown out in the trash by accident. Scrunchies, at least with my wife, fall out of the car. I’ve picked up a few in our driveway.
+1 on the silverware
Well you at least have some excuses for when things disappear. I live by myself without pets and things still disappear. I know they are somewhere in the house but nothing shows up in the usual suspect places.
Too bad about the silverware but the design of it looks good except for the part of them missing.
We lose spoons. When kids and husband brown bagel lunches, they would take spoons for yougurt, applesauce, what have you. Spoons would not make it home. Everyone would swear on their sacred honor that they would NEVER allow the spoons to go into the trash. Yet somehow we we’re down to four spoons. I bought a set of cheap ugly spoons that go in their own slot and also bought a replacement set of the good spoons ( which had to be purchased on eBay as they’re discontinued) As expected, I buy cheap replacement spoons every so often when the inventory approaches zero. I also buy charging cords every month or so because none ever return from travels.
It is not an idle threat. If I find him outside of his … glass enclosure or Magneto like containment cell, I will, quite heroically return him to the wild to live free as God intended. I will then be silent but slightly smug about it. Your scrunthies are all over the floors, sometimes in the mouths of the dogs, they are returned to the trash, also as God intended. It is sad about the spoons. That is all.
So I am just going to mention that should you be called upon to (heroically) transport Paul to live as divinely appointed, beware of what look like hairs on his abdomen. They are called uricating hairs, but they’re not true hairs – they’re something else which is stiffer, and some tarantulas use them defensively and flick them, because they are irksome – itchy, stingy, cause rash. For some people, they are very irksome indeed, ranging from bee sting to hives levels of woe. In my (admittedly limited and peculiar) social circle, there is a lot of overlap between folks who have trouble with bee stings, jellyfish and general allergies from touching stuff and folks who have difficulties with tarantula hairs. So, you know. Proceed with educated caution. Or delegate!
Bwahahahhaha case of the missing scrunchies solved! ???
The spoons! The struggle is real.
I have two cats and I know that feeling. Just today only one came to meet me as I got home and I had a mini heart attack -not that hard to screw with me.
Searching all over my flat and balcony for it (not that much space) … he didn’t show up. His sister followed me for 5 minutes mocking my efforts -.-
Then there he is hopping casually onto the couch next to where I am standing.
This feeling of relief and frustration is unique.
When we moved into our house (4b, est 1,800 sq feet) with five indoor cats, we quickly discovered that there was more than enough room for them to disappear at will. And stay gone.
Days would go by without seeing all of them, and like you, we worried that they’d gotten out.
Nope, we’d find them stretched out on the bed, in the kitchen wanting food NAOW, THANKZ or trying to trip someone (usually me) on the stairs.
Cats.
Cats need to not disappear. We have two. One (Pumpkin) attempts to escape every time someone opens the door. The other (Cole) runs away from the door (inside) every time we open the door. Wednesday morning when I was heading out to water the plants on the deck Pumpkin made a break for it. I grabbed him. Cole decided that he would try and took me by surprise. He was off like a shot. I searched all the decks behind the houses from one end of our street to the other. Pumpkin station himself in front of the sliding glass doors, meowing sadly for his brother. I sent out my 17 year old who is his favorite to look for him after school. I posted online on a neighborhood sight and got notice of two sightings from Tuesday. We put his bed and some toys on the deck Wednesday night. In the middle of the night my 11 year old got me up because she saw him on the deck, but by the time I got there he was gone. She went to school in tears yesterday. I e-mailed the shelter we adopted him from to find out how the chip works to in case someone took him in. Their TNR group lent me a have a heart trap and showed me how to set it up. I got a text from one of the 11 year old’s friends’ mom that they saw a cat that looked like Pumpkin. At 1 a.m. a yowling came from the deck. Pumpkin was stationed at the door – he barely went out of sight of the door since Cole took off. There was a furious yowling from the cage. It could not be Cole. He has a tiny squeak of a meow. We must of caught one of the nearby feral cats. I pulled the blanket off and there was Cole. He can make some noise when he wants. We brought him in and he ran for his food dish. I checked him for injuries or ticks. Not a scratch. Then he visited his favorite person who finally got some sleep after that. 11 year old was out cold but was thrilled this morning. He is napping in his box like he did not just run us all through a 2 day wringer.
I’m SO WITH you on the scrunches. Where to they go?? I know the kitty likes to play with them but that doesn’t account to the shear numbers I buy. I’d totally freak if a critter disappeared for 3 days in the house. We at least have 5 zones {I kid you not} in our house cause of critter wars so there is only so many rooms each critter can be in.
As long as Paul isn’t Paula and she’s actually “nesting”…
Oh my. I never thought of that. ?
I panic almost daily about missing cats. Two of ours are rescues who like to try to bolt outside as you come in the door. They also like to hide in the linen cabinets and one is very proficient at opening kitchen cabinets. The area we live in has coyotes wandering frequently… they seriously walk around when kids are walking to school. (My son had one walk right past him one morning, on the same side of the street and he didn’t even blink about it). Cats are NOT allowed outside. Ever. Because of this. They will get eaten. Luckily I have a very high pitched, annoying voice so “Here kitty, kitty, kitty” usually has all 4 of our cats running.
Just here to say that I’ve found my cats are a source of scrunchy and cord disappearances because they like to bat them around and carry them like toys. Have to watch and make sure they don’t get eaten.
We lose stuff too… I wish you luck with the charging cords, we have them all over as well!
I would also nope a spider. They can live outside.
Regarding the silverware, you might try reaching out to Wayfair. They have pretty good customer service and might offer you something; they try really hard to keep people happy (as it makes them more likely to buy again).
Good luck with the galleys!
Wow this was so suspenseful; I was hoping the cat would be found! Thank goodness.
Hair ties, bobby pins, cords, socks… I’m certain that when we die we’re going to go to a place where all lost things of this nature end up.
I’m also a Terry Pratchett fan so for any and all oddities I blame “quantum”. As for cats, just opening a can usually brings them running. If it’s tuna, every cat in the neighborhood shows up. (Swear I had one come back from the dead for tuna or maybe just re-incarnated.)
Yep. For me my stress levels create hyper kinetic vortex of energy that suck up stuff hide it or disappear it. 3 weeks ago lost my cell phone. Bought another. Then found lost phone in the dead center bottom of laundry basket nicely filled with folded clothes. No clue. Sigh.
Our kid two had to suddenly move and her two 4 month old kittens came here. One disappeared and we searched frantically. Kid two came, we all sat quietly as she called. He was down a small hole in the bedroom floor, under the bed frame, which had once been drilled to try to put wires in room.
He could run between the joists. He could not climb out, we could not lift him out.
We now have a nice big hole cut into the floorboard.
Our black cat Karlos disappeared a while back for > 24 hrs. When he showed up again, dehydrated and sleepy, I burst into big ugly tears and sobs of relief. We think he got locked in somewhere because ever since he’s been very careful not to be locked in anywhere.
Re things disappearing: Avram Davidson answered this back in the 50’s, in his story ” Or all the seas with oysters” 🙂
Cats. That is all.
Ah, I now see where the idea for Matilda’s cat eye issue came from. Cute.
I work in a large, free museum. I have no idea how many scrunchies our custodial department picks up any given day. I also have no idea how many HUNDREDS of them I’ve picked up in my time here, either. But people seem to shed them.
Still – it’s a lot better than some of the other things they can shed.
How about the one sock?
It’s the cats that steal the scrunchies. Our Gandolf steals mine along with chapstick and pens.
Spoons – CostCo pack not pretty but numerous and cheap
Hair ties – I also suspect cats. Had a dog that liked to ‘pop’ and shred tennis balls. Cat apparently liked to play and eat tennis ball fragments – cat developed intestinal obstruction, tennis ball fragments show up on x-ray if anyone needs to know, vet removed with ex-lap. Cat ate at least 2 more fragments, resulting in 2 more trips to operating room. So, at least hair ties don’t result in intestinal obstruction when the cats (or dogs) eat them.
Drago likes to go outside. I let him out after dark, weekdays only, about every 10 days or so. Sometimes he sniffs around the patio, or jumps to the top of the fence and walks up and down checking out the windows. Other times he takes off and usually comes home about 4:30 a.m. meowing to be let in. Dani, on the other hand, does not go outside even with the door wide open. The one time she stepped foot outside it took her 15 minutes of sniffing and it was no more than a foot for a flat 6 seconds and was back inside. Funny enough Drago is only interested in being out at night, must be more stuff to sniff out and chase around. I worry about him but he is much more contented if he can go out once in a while. He hasn’t brought another rat home either.
Not sure if cats and small children are the same, but everything in our house and up under the sofa somehow.
Currently no cat or dog and as I’ve had chemo, no hair, but all the scrunchies (and various hair brushes and bobby pins) from my past life with hair are randomly appearing in various spots in the bathroom and bedroom. Still want to know where all the (*^%$# scissors, pens, rubber bands, magnets, stickies and expensive socks have gone.
There is the 4th law of thermodynamics for iPhone cables: they disintegrate on their own. The 5th law says that another iPhone cable disappears from its place to take the place of one that disintegrated.
Cats can go through walls. Heinlein wrote a book about it. 😉
I would suggest that you watch those kitties very carefully. I’m serious. We have had earrings, car keys, car alarms, anything bright, jingly or chewy (like scrunchies)all taken by various cats and hidden. Very well hidden. If you couldn’t find the cat, figure how hard it will be to find what they have hidden. We’ve had to warn people not to put their car keys down in the house, One cat specialized in jewelry and was able to pry open a jewelry box. I had to keep the box in a tightly latched linen closet. Luckily he liked to bring me gifts (besides mice and so forth) and every now and then would come up from the cellar with an earring box as a present for me. The current cat is a car key and alarm specialist. Oh, and pens, pencils and green beans. Those are usually hidden under a rug.
We had a large black cat disappear regularly in a single wide trailer. We were newlyweds, and the trailer was basically empty, so we were very puzzled. Eventually, we discovered that his hiding place was inside the cabinetry, behind the dishwasher.
Cats can be such butts. Our cat disappeared and we finally found her sleeping in the underwear drawer. How did she get in the drawer? She’s not telling.
The stuff disappears into other dimensions. Where else?
Now thinking about it, where else would you get the ideas from for your books if not from the unconscious knowing of them. Your cat is quite aware of them and most likely jumps between them. As for the other stuff, these disappear into tiny entrances into these dimensions. Isn’t it so, that you put something at one place and woops, it is gone?
There are fix and moving dimensional entrances. The moving ones attach themselves to people. I assume, you and maybe Gordon as well are one of them…..
To be continued….
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I’m a loser – what can I say. I lose things all the time. And let’s not even talk about when it’s that “special” time of the month or when I am sick. I then lose my temper when I lose things. Argh.
My cat was once gone for several days – I did the posters, called the animal shelters every day (pre internet). Then he reappeared at the back door meowing to get in. His eye was a mess – it looked like he had been in a fight and the vet had to remove it. He never ran away again though and he lived many more years to the ripe old age of 24.
Schrunchies or other hair items – I don’t realize that I sometimes take them out without thinking and put them down. Then I can’t find them. I searched 2 weeks for my most comfy hair band – finally gave in and bought 2 more and voila the old one reappeared – now I have 3.
Everything you lose goes to a portal to a parallel universe. Occasionally an object makes it back but most never return again. I hope the parallel me is enjoying the free stuff.
My daughter has a beautiful, cross-eyed, part Siamese cat that is scared to death of everyone, but her. If my kid didn’t post pics of her, I would have wondered if she actually existed. Movie Ninjas have nothing on this kitty’s hiding ability.
As for hair ties, check the turn signal shafts on the kids cars. I bet you find a lot of them there, lol.
Spoons just disappear in the same cosmic black hole as socks and matching Tupperware sets.
I get everything but the spoons? Seriously, how do spoons disappear? Do the kids take them with their lunch? Is there a pile in the back of someone’s car with spoons stacked up like bodies in an old graveyard? Is someone coming in your house and stealing them for some strange spoon ritual?
Dear Lord, spoons…
My hubby and I are coming up on 25 years. Our kids have both grown and gone. We asked them, as an anniversary gift, to re-complete our (now discontinued) set of wedding stainless (ie replace all the spoons and forks that we blame them for losing.) Kid 1 did the research and sent me an email WITH LINKS to prove that it will actually cost half as much for them to just buy us a new service for 8. BECAUSE THE SPOONS ARE $30 USD EACH. The phenomenon is real…
My cats have stolen keys, jewelry, pens, emery boards, the nut I needed to finish putting Ikea furniture away, the plastic clips for bread bags, elastic bands. My female cat hides things under the dryer in the basement. When I replaced the old dryer the delivery men called me to show me 2 nail files, 3 single earrings and half a dozen toy mice. Sigh, it’s a cat thing.
I bought reusable bamboo spoons and forks for the kids lunches.
🙂
My scrunchies disappear off my wrist all the time. It’s some weird scrunchy magic thing!
No disappearing charging cables here. So far.
The stuff disappears into other dimensions. Where else?
Now thinking about it, where else would you get the ideas from for your books if not from the unconscious knowing of them. Your cat is quite aware of them and most likely jumps between them. As for the other stuff, these disappear into tiny entrances into these dimensions. Isn’t it so, that you put something at one place and woops, it is gone?
There are fix and moving dimensional entrances. The moving ones attach themselves to people. I assume, you and maybe Gordon as well are one of them…..
To be continued….
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REPLY
My iPhone (and microUSB) cables stopped disappearing when I started sugruing them so they didn’t flex and break. I have no idea why that made a difference, but I have had the same 12 (yeah, I know, they’re everywhere, it’s an accessibility issue) cables for 18 months – and thanks to the sugru, they aren’t breaking, either.
Our hermit crabs will give Paul a run for his inventiveness in the general being weird in the tank behaviors (tunneling, tipping over ponds, tapping on the tank with their shells until the dogs bark, hanging upside down from the tank roof) which I had planned to narrate in exhaustive boring detail, but it just occurred to me – is it possible Paul is molting? It is a very very long time since I had any domestic involvement with a tarantula but I seem to recall lots of hiding and weirdness around molting, and then post-molting some extra eating and gentle handling.
I’d never heard of Sugru until reading your comment. I’m now ordering some for my USB cords, as mine fray way too frequently (usually from rereading my favorite Ilona Andrews books at night while my phone is plugged in… my cord tends to get tweaked). Thanks!
Ditto! I tried diy hacks with ink pen coils and electrical tape and they still frayed or wore out. Just some of this stuff from Amazon. Thank you!!!!
Last night, I had a discussion with my husband about how we used to have 8 dinner forks and we suddenly had 1. I dug hard in the silverware drawer, found 2 of the missing ones in with the knives. So we have 3 now. Years ago, I bought cheap flatware because everybody had to have a spoon and nobody wanted to wash one. It’s still here, but if you have to stick in a fork into something, you want a fork with some substance. When our oldest moved out, I found 4 spoons in her room. All were on the floor or under furniture because they fell and she didn’t pick them up and take them to the kitchen when she went to get a clean one. But when our second child moved out, all I found were dishes and glasses in the room. No forks or spoons, drat it!
I took in feral cats at work because the dogs there ran at night and attacked them. Yeah, I’m the sucker who took in the entire colony of cats and ended up feeding all the adults and finding homes for all the kittens. I ended up paying for surgical solutions to kittens for 26 cats, but that ended the kittens issue. The people who worked for us were fine with the cats. One day, a woman came to me and asked me where the new cat came from because I had vowed to never bring in another. I couldn’t figure out what cat was “new”. I looked, and one of the cats I’d had for years was sitting out in plain sight. That woman worked in that room for months and never knew he lived there. This was an open room with no closets, no cupboards, nowhere to hide. The cat stayed under the desk where I could see him easily, but because he was in hiding mode, she had never known he was there. Cats can and do hide in plain sight. They can’t see things that don’t move, which is why they tend to weave back and forth as they watch their prey, and when they don’t want to be seen, they hold perfectly still. Because we are so used to them moving, they become invisible. I no longer have the workplace, but I still have the cat, and he lives in a room where there’s nowhere to hide and still hides. I have to hunt him down every day. Fortunately, I know where he hides after having him for 18 years.
If you have more than one charging cord for your phone, you will lose them all. It’s just fact of life. Knowing there’s another one “over there” means you don’t have to be careful where you put down the one you keep “over here” when the phone is charged. You don’t track it, you don’t remember where you put it, because you can always reach for that other one if you can’t find it. Buy enough for every phone to have one cord, mark them for each person’s phone, and force yourselves to use that cord for that phone. You’ll never lose another. The lost ones are with your hair scrunchies. The same thing applies with them — you buy a trillion, they’re not important enough to keep track of them, they get lost. They are with all the barrettes and bobby pins and hair clips I used to own, so they’re in good company.
All. The. Time. Add those damn socks that disappear in the laundry and we have the same issues. But hey, it made me laugh and I hope you can, too. Cats are assholes but we still take care of one. She lives in her custom house on the porch and we are at her bidding.
I found one sock in the vacuum today. That was new. (I have no idea if my husband considers disappearing socks a problem since I refuse to keep track of them for him.)
Edward was very successfully depriving you of his presence because how dare you abuse him so by taking him to the vet to fix the problem he made for himself. He likely finally decided you had been punished enough.
I think Edward took a short trip to an alternate cat universe. It was necessary as a balm to his soul after the indignity of the whole eye imbroglio.
For me, it’s socks. The frustration is real! I swear! Every time I do laundry, I end up with at least one lonely sock who has lost their partner. I’m retired, I live alone in a small condo, I’m orderly, how can this happen? I cant just let this go! There should be a resolution! Where are they? I just can’t bring myself to throw them away and go on with my life. My answer to this fundamental dilemma is to carefully preserve these poor socks in the hope that they will someday be reunited with their ‘sole’ mate. “How’s that working out,” you ask? Well, I now have an orphan drawer, dedicated to the preservation of the unmatched.
If your washer is in a closet look next to the wall or behind. I found two of mine there. Did my laundry and ended up with 3 of my roommates socks ( all different singles) in my dryer load.
Many many years ago my dorm mother had a bluepoint Siamese who would steal paired socks out of my laundry basket. I pretended to be sleeping and she stole three pairs that day.
Until you throw the unmatched socks out. 5 minutes after the garbage truck rumbles by, you’ll find the ones you were missing.
Truth!
Happy day! It is now a thing to wear mismatched socks. 😉
?????
There is a floating 5th demision that lives in people’s houses and scoops up random but necessary objects. If you lucky, it will disgorge them at some indeterminate date in the future in some unexpected spot, usually in plain sight.
I know this for a fact. I have been dealing with it for 40 years. Good luck and remember, when things disappear, just sigh, and blame it.
All my lo wot and lost stuff showed up at night as we were packing to move. I swear our stuff was having.offspring, multiplying, something, because every morning there was more to pack than the night before! Drive me nuts. Did find a few losst socks and power chords though. 🙂
About the spoons. For us it was forks. Have no idea where they went but my husband does take food to his worrkshop…… so I went on Amazon and bought 12 simple stainless steel forks for $11.99 and if he takes a good fork out of the house his life is over as he knows it. LOL. I’m thinking about getting the spoons too. He’s an ice cream hound, 🙂
Too tired to type well! Sorry
There is definitely an alternative universe in my home. I try to blame the cat, but she doesn’t take things. Last week I put my prescription glasses on the table never to be seen again (20 minutes later). Turned the house upside down – gone. Other things “leave”. I could go on for hours. I keep thinking of Dina’s Bed and Breakfast…
All google Magic Coffee Table on YouTube for a laugh. It doesn’t explain the missing items so much until the end.
Years ago, I won a hamster at a street fair. I was thrilled, my mom was appalled . The hamster gor out , got into my mom”s art supplies and died ,after a week. We cried, gor another hamster and a stronger cage. We got used to the hamster and later in the year , we would let him out for a while. He always came when we offered hime food. We named him Muhammed because he would literally move the cage when he wanted out.
And then he escaped for several days. We looked everywhere and left food out. He was MIA . After several nights, my Mom freaked out and said we must have thrown him out with the trash, or he got in the trash by mistake.. We had an incinerator in our building and my Mom and I had terrible thoughts of Muhammad burning up. Screaming, his tiny paws raised up to try to block the flames.
I wanted to stay home from school to look, My mom said , we will give it one more day. I went to get some socks for school and opened the draw wide. There he was snugged in my socks asleep.
We never forgot Muhammed and Dolly girl and Edgar Winter, our hamsters… They gave us love and fun in a tiny furry package.
We had a hamster who disappeared too. We left the open cage on the floor and food and water did diaappear so we knew he was Aline.
He had gotten into a shut Barbie house, folded down to about two inches high.
He had the barbies rooms set up. He had hauled in construction paper in various colors that he chewed up, and some fluff from a pillow. He set up A sleep area and a poop area…they will keep that separate if allowed.
It’s because you didn’t build the moat. 😉
You are not alone. This was my facebook post the other evening.
“I’m sure this will resonate with some of you. I started by looking for my vehicle title which I couldn’t find, then I looked for a power cord and found the title, then I looked for a spare key and found the power cord, then I looked for the envelopes and found the spare key, then I looked for my checkbook and found the envelopes. About that time I realized I couldn’t remember writing a check from that account since my name changed. So now I don’t have to look for something else to find the checkbook since I need to order new checks. ??”
attach a security cam that streams vids online to your scrunchy or cord, then you will finally know.
I am sorry, I totally understand. Still do not understand how socks disappear. I resorted to buying a laundry bag for socks forgot to zip the bag and somehow a sock is missing! As for cats, I have one cat that hides and we call and she just won’t appear, she is a tree dweller type, so I resort to looking up now. The first time she spent 4 hours watching me run back and forth and crying my eyes out because I thought she got out of it. I’m sure she got a kick out of watching me from her perch on the Kitchen hutch. I feel your pain…
There is a whole series of books called “ Borrowers”. Little creatures that live in the walls of your house and “ borrow” things they need. They always return them when they are done
As for hair scrunchies they are with the missing cats.
Isnt there also the ghibli film arriety?
P.S. For your cords, tie something to the cords that make them unappealing to take… a spoon duck taped to it or something embarrassing and they will stay put…or not. Depends on the level of embarrassing
It’s scissors for us…you need a treasure map to find them.
Ed must’ve visited Dina!
you could put a tile on the cat’s collar so he doesn’t pull a houdini again. i don’t recommend that will the tarantula. in fact, i am
so with Gordon on this one.
at work, i zip tie the cords to something so they can’t walk easily. (the desk leg or lamp)
hair ties are the bane of my existence. they are everywhere and no where. i’ve given up keeping track of them and instead just bought a crazy amount of them from the dollar store- i prefer the woven-elastic style ones because they don’t pull my hair out or break easily.
3 years ago bought a nice set of stainless silverware for 12. Now, if I do enough scrounging(read check under granddaughter’s bed or in daughter’s room), I MIGHT be able to cobble 5 complete place settings. To top it off, pattern has been discontinued. Ugh!
Thank you, Ilona,Andrews. I laughed until I cried. The pup was worried because I was leaking water. Grin. I needed that laugh today so thank you.
About cats…. I was “owned” by a pride for a little over 2 decades. When I lived in a town house my neighbors kept hearing toilet flush during the day so they said something about my multiple SOs. Yeah, i was the subject of gossip thanks to my cats. Turns out my maine coon cat was flushing the upstair toilet so he could watch the water squirl. He also opened cabinet doors and shut the other cats in cabinets. The movers when I moved were puzzled why I had child proof latches on all the cabinets but no toddlers. So I totally understand your panic as at first I did not know he had taught himself to open and close cabinet doors. Eventually he taught himself how to open inner room doors so i had to install deadbolts. For awhile i thought i was living in a haunted apartment.
Enjoy your Pride and Pack. Forgive Gordon as I totally understand his spider issue. I feel the same way about opossums.
An Australian Scientific group noticed they were constantly missing teaspoons and decided (probably out of boredom) to do a study on the phenomenon. And they wrote up a paper on it. It is called “The case of the disappearing teaspoons: longitudinal cohort study of the displacement of teaspoons in an Australian research institute”. Here is the link. https://www.bmj.com/content/331/7531/1498. They also had a questionaire about the spoons. One of the questions was ” How satisfied are you with teaspoon coverage in the institute?” It’s a bit of a short fun read.
Omg haha
Absolutely hilarious! Thanks so much for posting this link!
Scrunchies > cat toys. Find the cats’ stash and you will find your scrunchies. and socks. and possibly spoons
At one time I had a little boy Bengal Cat named Evil. He originally had been named Noel, born on Christmas as a single kitten to my Bengal Cat girl Rapture. However, as he would constantly pee on me if I let him sleep with me, and other habits, he got renamed Evil. Once I was doing online ordering and had my red leather wallet leaning on my keyboard, and left it there. I came back and found Evil trotting off with it in his mouth, he was taking it to his little play area behind my bed’s head board, out of sight. I caught the little bandit red pawed!
His daddy, Riot, would steal corn on the cobb off the dining room table. His brother Ares would steal eggrolls right out of my hands. One time I had Ares new baby brother Angel who was a newborn, only days old, in my hands, and Ares came and snatched him, probably thinking he was an eggroll. I chased his butt down pretty darn fast. Fortunately little Angel was okay.
I had a black cat named Frost, and she would steal fresh pairs of socks that were rolled into sock balls. I’d look up and saw her trotting by with a sock ball in her mouth.
Cats steal things.
My mom had a saying. “If you look for it, you won’t find it. If you don’t look for it, it will come to you”. This works for most things except for credit cards (because, you know, you have to use them and they might be stolen). Everytime I cancel a misplaced credit card I find it a few days later in some odd place like leaning against the toilet.
You might try putting a temporary block or freeze on your credit cards. It can be lifted when you find them, but if they were stolen, they couldn’t be used. Saves having to wait for replacements or changing numbers with companies. Also, most of the time that cards are lost, they turn up within the week. ?
I have a herd of Oriental Shorthairs (Siamese like cats without the “points” fur color patterns). They have extremely dexterous fingers on their paws. [God help me if they ever quite get to having opposable thumbs. ] Long story short: they can open cabinets, drawers, etc. I object to fur and other stuff landing on my kitchen gear. Finally, I gave in and installed child proof safety latches on every cabinet and drawer in the kitchen. Childproof slide locks are on the pantry doors to keep them from opening them and plundering the pantry. It would be great if I had kids, as all that prevention stuff is now taken care of! Sounds like you might need to consider that for keeping Edward at bay.
As for cat hiding….they are just experts. Years ago I got my first Oriental Shorthair and she wasn’t overly thrilled with changing people. She managed to open the closet in the room I’d shut her into to acclimate and then went to ground. It took hours to find her. She had climbed up the clothing, got on top of the hangers, and laid across a bunch of hangers BEHIND the bar. OSH are very slender, skinny, and stretchy cats. If she hadn’t had such long ears, I might never have spotted her. One lone ear-tip peeked up above the bar and I followed it to the rest of the cat.
I had a black american short hair that would steal just one slipper from a pair. Every time that I got new slippers I would catch her dragging off one. When I’d leave the house I would have to put my slippers in a drawer or one would be gone when I got home. After she stole the first slipper she would never touch the mate. I could never find her hiding spot and I spent hours looking. I went through dozens of pairs of slippers because I would forget to put them up when I left. Years after she’d passed, I was having the floors redone and had to move out all of the furniture. When the movers carried out the large steamer trunk from the corner of my bedroom, they found 43 single slippers wedged behind it. The whole crew spent the rest of the move laughing.
OMG! ROFL! Great story.
Cable Covers – solved the problem of our disappearing iPhone charging cords 🙂
That is so cute! Where did you get it?
Amazon!!!
I bought mine from TYPO.
There’s a variety of cute ones??
OMG!!! That is so cute!!
OMG. The things we do for our pets. But a pet tarantula is a bit much for me. I would never sleep again with one of those in the house. Nope, never.
I used to have a cat that loved my cords, he thought they were chew toys. I’ve purchased a docking station with multiple plug options and my cords don’t disappear anymore.
I used to have a cat that loved my cords, he thought they were chew toys. I’ve purchased a docking station with multiple plug options and my cords don’t disappear anymore.
I’m not sure about the scrunchies because I keep my hair short. Three of my sibs can grow their hair long but my hair does the native Alaskan poof so instead of long I gain at least a size extra in hat circumference.
Anyway, I think some of these articles disappear into domestic black holes. Tiny, but like their galaxy eating relatives, voracious.
Can’t remember which sci-fi author it was from decades ago but he explained the science of it! Honest! I mean what else explains it so completely!
I always blame missing spoons on Discworld gods. Mysterious odd socks too. (I swear there was an elephant that ate them? Does that sound right? OK, I just realised this all sounds crazy but either you know what I mean or you don’t)
Years ago almost all of my spoons disappeared. I don’t believe in poltergeist like my sister does, so I kept my eyes open. Et voila! My 3 year old son was literally clearing his plate into the trash after dinner, spoon and all.
As for cords, I have 5′ cords in bright red. Can’t lose those puppies.
Sam liked to put pylons in our shoes. These came from my brother’s race car set and used to raise the track. So we all emptied our shoes before putting them on. One time dad got one out and then found another one when he tried to put his foot into the shoe. Cats like to dig things out of places they can’t get into.
One inexpensive cat toy is the solid plastic ring found on top of milk and water jugs. Just roll it and watch. The all you need is a yardstick to get the out from under the washer and dryer and other low openings under furniture.
Pocket dimensions. My house is inundated with the suckers.
At least your dogs don’t bury your knitting in the yard!
We flease our cats once a month. In order to catch them we shut every door in the house the night before. It still take quite a while to chase them down. After we finish we can’t beat them off. Our first cat was Siamese. She loved socks. She would steal them from drawers and suck/chew them. Nothing feels as good as sucked on socks. She especially loved anything wool so all sweaters were in covered containers. Cats you got to love them
Auntie Dixie loved to do crossword puzzles, but her pencils kept disappearing.
When cleaning under the fridge, there they were, Twinkle Toes loved pencils,
and stashed them there.
The kids are the most likely culprit for the iPhone chargers and scrunchies. They probably take them and leave them at friends houses? I dunno.
Spoons between couch cushions. Just found a spare sock in a box of old linens I use for drop cloths – seven years in the garage loft. My granddaughter steals charging cords because she leaves hers at home when she visits.
I used to buy extra spoons from Sam’s Club. Cheap and easy. These days it seems to be forks that disappear instead. And hair clips. And earrings. And socks. And I frequently want to know where I put my glasses.
https://www.samsclub.com/sams/bakers-chefs-teaspoons-36-pc/prod5250042.ip?xid=plp_product_1_7
? Oh, the pixies are whom we blame. And the husband, since he thinks that the dinner knives are more useful than the 20-odd screwdrivers he has in his tool box.
Our cat is now 16, and whenever he goes missing I look under our bed because I KNOW that dead center, in the hardest to reach spot, is where he will choose to breathe his last breath.
Oddly enough charging cords seem to multiply in my house. I have 1 mobile phone (pay as you go for emergency’s), 2 ipods, a kindle , a digital camera and a cat tracking collar (works on mobile phone network and uses same charger as phone) yet at last count I had 23 charging cords at least 3 for each item. I have never bought a cord separate from an electrical item, some may be left from previous broken items but still it seems excessive .
In regards to plated cutlery, plate will ware and the thinner the plate the quicker it goes. I don’t know if it applies to cutlery but with wire for jewellery you can get something referred to as gold filled. It’s still plated but much thicker than the normal stuff it also costs correspondingly more. If you want a cheaper lasting alternative to silver/steel you can get solid Bronze cutlery just watch that you dry them well as they can corrode. Whoever though a bronze salt pot was a good idea obviously came from a very dry place.
Cata have a tendency of blending in in an almost eerie way.
Growing up with had a cat, a longhaired tortie who we found as a stray. In the first few months we had there my parents thought they’d lost her while we kids were in school. My mom had the habit of opening the front door when she mopped the tile floors so the current would dry them quickly. Once she remembered about the cat she panicked and enlisted my dad to look for her. They yelled hi and low, in and out of the house. Nothing. They resigned themselves to finding a way to explain it to us when we returned and sat down in the kitchen to discuss it. They turn around and, low and behold, Duchess is on the counter huddled on the warm vcr, her coloring made her blend in perfectly with the light wood of the counters. Over 20 years later and I still laugh envisioning this cat calmly watching these two crazy adults that are going up and down yelling and probably thinking “boy are my new humans crazy”.
My cat, Callie, did the same thing as Eddie, but this was in a hotel room. I was moving cross-county from Portland, Oregon to Charlotte, North Carolina. At the time, I had two dogs and two cats. So we stopped for the night in Kansas City and of course, brought all of the animals in with us. Callie was used to traveling and staying in hotel rooms with us, as she loved to travel and hated being left at home. So I would usually take her with me for weekend trips.
So we are in the hotel and getting everything packed up to leave and get back on the road. However, I can’t find Callie. Looked every where in the hotel room. I pulled the beds up from the frames to look under them in case she had crawled into the box spring, look in the closet, the kitchen cabinets (it was a little efficiency), under the coach, behind the dressers, etc. Went out into the hall and looked everywhere through out the hotel. Had the hotel staff helping me to look, thinking she had gotten out of the room. The hotel was having rooms painted and they even called the painter, who had left, and asked him to look in his truck and in his trailer to see if she was there. The painter was nice enough to do this. Still no cat. By now I am frantic. I am driving cross-country to start a new job and now I am going to be a day or so late, because I don’t want to leave until I find Callie. She was chipped and had a name tag with my number, so I was sure if someone found her, they would call me. Well, finally very late that night, about 9 pm, I tried calling for her out the window. I turn back to the middle of the room and guess who I see sitting in the middle of the hotel room. Callie, looking all sleepy eyed. Evidently, she had been hiding underneath the dresser, which unlike the bed and coach, I never looked under. Since the front and two sides went down to the ground, I assumed the back did too. So I never looked under it. Plus it was super heavy. Evidently the backside did not go to the floor and she had crawled in and fell asleep under the dresser where I couldn’t see her. She was like Eddie too in that she would come when I called her, but not this time. This time she had selective hearing and ignored me, giving me heart failure thinking I had lost her. Silly cat.
Sorry to laugh at your woes but this was just hilarious. Although, when it happens to me (socks and forks too!) it was frustrating and hair-pulling is a reality. I, too, believe in a sock universe accessed via my washing machine.
We no longer have extra beings in the house on which to blame things. Just us. We also have a spoon problem. Can’t figure out why there are less spoons than the other utensils. I realize we probably use spoons more than anything else, but that doesn’t explain the vanishing act. IDK.
Sarge Coonhound came to us from ABTCC breed rescue at around four. He loved garbage. We had a small can under the sink, behind a door we put baby locks on to keep him out.
He broke the door!
I watched through back door. He Stood in front, used paws to open door til baby lock stopped him. He then put paws inside the open door and dropped down into a sit while sitting back. Door hinge screws pulled out of cabinet, door fell, can was right there.
I was having new carpet put in. Put cats in guest room. All furniture moved to and piled in garage. Time came to remove furniture from back bedroom. So go to move her to empty room. No cat!!! She’s gone!! While I ran outside calling and searching thinking she must have gotten out. They piled bedroom furniture in garage. While I did this. Hours late, after combing neighborhood, returned home in despair. To hear meow in garage. She had gotten in box spring to hide and was in the garage furniture pile. Took me half and hour to Tetris stacked furniture and free her!
We never had enough cables, and now they are everywhere. I keep ordering different lengths, for various locations, or replacements for damaged cables. Somehow, the bad cables never get thrown away. ? There are only two of us, but we still can’t manage to keep them under control.
I do have a recommendation for hair scrunchies. I broke down and bought these off Amazon: Susufaa 100 Pcs / Lot Candy Color Ribbon Ponytail Holder Yoga Twist Elastic B… https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UL654AE/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_awdb_t1_x_gtnZCbQQAGXY8 via @amazon
I gave away lots of the colors I didn’t like, and still have plenty. And the original order was in 2016! I’m just now thinking about ordering again, just because I’m running out of colors I really want. Even counting those stolen by the cats, I still have about 25-30 left.
We had a cat named Puddy (my husband is to blame) and she was especially anti-social unless there was food involved. One day, she disappeared and I turned the house inside-out. No cat. She was such an oddball–she would never meow, so I crawled around looking under everything, listening for her breathing. Three days later, I had given up, when I started to step on the treadmill. I still don’t know what made me stop and kneel down and look under it–she was wedged there, and looked at me like, “You idiot human, took you long enough.” She didn’t even seem especially upset or hungry, so I’m not entirely sure she’d been stuck so much as just hiding. That space was only a few inches high and if I had started the treadmill, she probably would have been hurt by the belt. I blocked access to it, but she kept finding bizarro places to hide. I think she just liked giving me a heart attack.
One word – Narnia
Super funny. Thank you for sharing. Lol
At least I KNOW who takes my spoons. Where they go? No clue. Although her son has found a few. And some old socks.
Like most people things go missing in the house. Socks, hats mittens. Normal stuff. Just figured dryer sock eater, or kid left them at school.
Husband has 6 week vacation time, so he took an entire summer off. Rented a cottage, had my mom come over daily to feed my cat.
On our return mom is waiting for us. Of course I was worried because she looked upset. “Mom what’s wrong”? Well I thought you had a break in, because I found you knit blanket in the hall. She didn’t see anything else disturbed so she better of it.
A few days later when I was going to vacuum the office I saw some wool peeking out from behind a desk skirt . I tried to pull it out, but couldn’t pull it through. I had to climb on top of the corner desk. To my surprise I found socks, scarves, hats, a little throw, doll clothes all back there. My cat is a wool thief!
Is your cat a thief? Maybe
Be well. Peace light and love. ?K
Our 15 yo has Aspergers. He can program robots, do physics problems and earn his Boy Scout Eagle but can he put things away?!? The video camera landed in the freezer, we have had a gallon of milk put in the oven, and when he was little his dirty clothes went in the garbage ’cause they were used like kleenex. I still cant figure out what happens to his boxers. The kid keeps us on our toes. I’m afraid to let him drive for fear of where he might park the car.
I think I know where your scrunches went. Have spent last few weeks cleaning out the garage from all the stuff our girls have left after each of their moves from colleges and various apartments. I have found 100’s of scrunches in every kind of container imaginable. Between us we or they must be supporting the entire industry! ?
So growing up we had a Mexican Red Leg tarantula. His name was Boris we had Boris for years and for 4 years in a roll he won most unusual pet at the Library pet fair. He had his own travel Jar. After research we learned that Boris was more likely a girl not a boy considering size and look of him or her.
One night my mother had a nightmare that Boris was walking up and down her sleeping body and she couldn’t Move. The next Morning turned out Boris had escaped was not in his cage and was sitting patiently behind the shampoo in the bathroom to be found. Mom found him. He was returned to his cage and we were warned to make sure there was always a rock on top of the cage.
I understand that you liked your spider and some people like spiders, but a tarantula in my shower behind my shampoo just became a new nightmare of mine, so thanks for that! ?
(It’s still a funny story, I’m mostly kidding)
but ahh, shower spider is the worst!
to try to make you dreams better maybe we didn’t have a shower just a tub and the shampoo was on a shelf across the front of the tub over spigot. Yes my Mother didn’t like Boris that much but he was a beloved pet and I think she was happy that Rover (the snake ) only survived a few months. Boris only bit my dad twice in the 5 years he was with us. Once when my brother threw him across the room and my Dad picked him up. Another time he was dropped I think. He always had a good reason for biting and he was handled a lot for a spider. We loved taking him out of his cage and letting him walk up the arms. It was like little hooks
My shower spider was not nearly so benign. We were living in Okinawa, and as I reached for my towel, I happened to notice that there was a 10 inch banana spider sitting on it. Needless to say, I let out a bloodcurdling scream and threw myself back into the shower. When my husband came to investigate, I informed him that either he removed the spider, or he brought me a pillow and some dinner because I was taking up permanent residence in the shower stall.
This experience has left me quite resistant to efforts by my sons to acquire a tarantula as a pet.
The cats steal all my hairbands – I find them when I move the couch ? they are now in a box and the cats try and open it whenever they get a chance – one day they may figure it out
We have two Cats. Recently, one has had several issues and has gone to the Emergency Vet (many, many monies) and the regular Vet (still monies). Now, whenever he hears our car keys jingle, he disappears. It’s really, really hard to find a Cat when they decide to not be found.
Boy is that the truth
For me, it’s the click of the cat carrier being opened. One minute, 4 cats, next minute they all turn invisible. It’s got to the stage that I have to open the carrier the night before any appointments!
When my kitties were wee kittens I inadvertently crate trained them into turning their carriers in safe spots from being hassled by my grandchildren. Nowadays,
I store the carriers in the master bedroom storage closet. I leave them in unzipped on the floor in a quiet dark corner. All they have to do is hear the sound of the toddler coming up the drive and they are suddenly nowhere to be found.
So if I have a Vet appointment scheduled for only one of the pair I still have to bring out both carriers in advance because they will squabble over who gets the cozy carrier with the lovely sheepskin fleece to snuggle in. My Vet marvels about how thoroughly they will defend their traveling home from inquisitive hands and how quickly they will make their way back to them if I let them.
My cat hides the minute you look at her too long. I have to grab her quick, lock her in the bathroom (too many beds, tables and couches in every other room) before I even get the carrier out of the garage to take her to the vet.
We have two Siamese cats and one day my husband was frustrated because he saw Matcha, our frisky male, out on our back deck. He’s gotten out three times before because he’s sneaky, though I was surprised because I thought I’d just seen him indoors. I slipped on boots and went outside, calling his name. I was instantly relieved to see a Siamese . . . with white paws, who comes over to rub my legs when I called. But then my brain caught up and I realized, wait, this isn’t Matcha (he definately doesn’t have white paws for starters). Then, very theatrically, I look up to see Matcha distainfully regarding me pet someone else’s Siamese cat through our picture window.
Sometimes things go “walkies”, and sometimes it’s because it’s a cat (and I’m pretty sure if there were a god of chaos, it would manifest as a cat).
Good luck with finding the missing things!
You name a cat after a highly caffeinated beverage, and you’re surprised by shenanigans?
I am sorry you are stressed but I laughed and laughed. I needed the giggle
I did too. Actually laughed out load with the Boris story.
I’M TOTALLY STEALING “carefully questioned” to tell the tale of the loat and found keys to my mother in law (check the plastic teapot of 4 yr old daughter duh) in wich I acussed of stealing my husband and probably all the people who visited that day aimce it was a festivity. LOL
+1 I feel bad for enjoying this so much, but so funny.
Why can’t useful things go missing? Like extra pounds, gray hair, and wrinkles?
Maybe even a few superfluous years??
OMG!!! You take a very frustrating series of events, and make them hilarious!! ??
I share your pain, and recognize it is real, and therefore not funny. You just write it such that first of all, I empathize completely because I too have experienced some of the same things, and second you are simply very funny – whether you meant to be or not. ? You are funny because I can empathize. I thought the rose gold utensils were gorgeous!! I am so sorry they simply had a coating that was worn off quickly. I too am enduring the desperate and endless battle of the disappearing utensils. It got so ridiculous to the point of there only being one butter knife, and two forks left out of a double set of silverware. All of my steak knives have vanished as well. No one has owned up to what happened to said items. In a fit of anger, when I unfortunately wasn’t thinking too clearly, I decreed that I would not be buying yet more silverware and steak knives, just to have them disappear . I said we would be using plastic, disposable utensils until such time as the silverware and steak knives reappeared, or I was at least told what happened to them. Boy was I stupid!!! It didn’t bother my son or husband in the least to use plastic, disposable utensils! In fact, all of a sudden my dishes started to disappear as well, and they had the nerve to ask me, with completely straight faces, if that meant we would be using disposable dishes as well!! Aaaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!!
Of course I also have clothes that vanish into some sort of miniature black hole that appears in either my washer or my dryer in impromptu moments. It is either that, or my appliances eat the items. It never happens with a pair of socks, just one. It also doesn’t happen to my old, disreputable underwear, but my new lacey and pretty ones. *Deep sigh*.
I am glad both Paul and Edward eventually were found, but sorry they put you through all that worry. I haven’t read everyone’s comments yet, as I am saving them for my night time entertainment. ? I can imagine though that most people can sympathize with you, and have their own stories of inexplicable missing items and/or pets.
Whatever scrunchie stealing thief you have in your house, their relative is in mine. I am the only one in my household who uses them, so their disappearance is even more of a mystery!! I thought maybe I was just forgetful and losing them myself, so I showed my husband the set of six glorious new scrunchies that I had just bought, and the drawer in the bathroom sink area that I put them in. A couple of days later, when I went to that drawer to get one for the first time since putting them away, only three of them remained. Ah Ha!!! Not my dwindling memory after all, but some outside nefarious source!! I actually thought about putting some kind of mouse trap or something under the remaining scrunchies, but then common sense had to butt it’s unwanted head in and nixed that idea. At this point I have had to just accept the fact that in my house, there are either multiple miniature black holes that pop into and out of existence, or some species of highly mischievous elf or fairy that gets a kick out of driving me crazy!! ?
I hope that whichever of those same things are present in your house, and responsible for all your vanishing items, moves on now to a different house, or at the least gives you a respite. I also hope that reading the comments about missing items or pets scenarios that people share on this blog gives you some enjoyment and laughter, like you gifted us with!! I honestly think I would enjoy reading even a “To Do” list written by you. Your Infectious sense of humor, and your ability to transfer that so clearly in writing, is one of the reasons I enjoy your works so much, and so often choose to reread one of your books when I am either very sick, or feeling somewhat down. They always comfort me and lift my spirits. To me, rereading one of your books is like a reunion with someone I have been close friends with all my life, but who had recently been away. Thank you for all your wonderful books, and for sharing some of life’s issues with the BDH. Please, please don’t ever stop!! I am very appreciative of how accessible you are to your fans. I hope that the nasty people that sometimes take advantage of that to spread their venom, don’t cause you to withdraw and be less accessible. Unfortunately there are people who lack manners or sense, or are just plain nasty. I would have a hard time just shrugging that off, and admire your graceful handling of some unpleasant situations. I hope that those unfortunate experiences don’t cause you to close down communication with the BDH, and the sensible people who enjoy your writing so very much!! Thank you again, for all of your work, that brings enjoyment to so many!
P.S. Please excuse my rambling on. It is a terrible habit of mine, that I find extremely difficult to overcome. ??
My favorite undies disappear too. Unfortunately, they turn back up. In the yard. After the dog poops them out. He only eats my favorites. I’ve determined that he’s stealing them from the clean laundry that’s waiting to be folded. I made sure he doesn’t have access to the dirty (that’s where I thought he would steal them from). They’re usually found when my husband mows them over. ?
I loved this newsletter. Laughed a lot, really needed that laughing. In our house it was forks. Same as a couple of other replies, my husband would take them either to work or out to the garage to eat while he worked. Lost many, many forks. Finally, like Meg, I ordered a dozen cheap aluminum forks and told him these were his. I told him I would like to have matching silverware for company, so he could not use the “good” forks unless we were eating at the dining room table. We have 3 cats now and 1, Tigger, steals everything he can get his paws on. Pens, pencils, hair ties, erasers, pencil sharpeners(the little hand held ones),twist ties,plastic ziplok bags and the list goes on and on. One time my husband was drinking electrolyte drinks and then mixing his own reusing the bottles. The plastic covers kept disappearing (this was before we knew he was a thief) and I would start finding them all around the house. The I saw Tigger walking around with a cover in his mouth! Busted! The scrunchies only disappear when my 4 year old granddaughter is around-she uses them on all her dolls regardless of their size-funniest thing to see is a pocket-sized doll all wrapped up in a scrunchie! When we first moved into our present home 17 years ago, we had a Bengal cat named Juju. We put the cats in the laundry room and closed the door. After everything was moved in, we opened the laundry room door and both cats ran. A little while later we were looking for Juju and couldn’t find him anywhere. Like you all did, we panicked and went everywhere indoors and out looking for him. We had resigned ourselves to waiting for someone to call because he was microchipped. I was in the kitchen and heard a noise behind me and turned around to see a drawer opening and Juju climbing out of it. He had opened the drawer, climbed in and hidden in the space behind the drawers! Thank goodness for child locks! The picture with this is Tigger.
Socks…two go in the laundry only one comes back?!
I have your hairbands. Not sure how or why, but I’ve got hundreds. I don’t use them. *shrug*
Your own cat was the inspiration for Matilda’s cat, that’s so cute! I’m so sorry for all the things getting lost in your house and stressing you out, but I love how you manage to tell these stories in such a hilarious way.
I have the disappearing things problem, but also sometimes the multiplying things problem.
For instance: tailor’s tapes disappear at an alarming rate. I’ve purchased at least four and inherited several more from my grandma. The only one I could find yesterday when looking for one, is my grandma’s that is probably older than my mom.
On the other hand, scissors. I have purchased two blue pairs of scissors and one pair of red scissors, but there’s four pair of blue scissors floating around my house and the last red scissors I encountered were brighter, smaller, and lacking the cushiony grips of the ones that I bought. Yes, I inherited a number of scissors from my grandma’s house, but I do not remember any blue or red scissors among them. I maintain that the scissors are somehow breeding.
Micro USB cords (but not lightning cables) also breed independently. Or perhaps some kind of weird macro-quantum radioactive decay causes unsupervised lightning cables to spontaneously convert to micro USB cords.
I am going to make everyone who has ever ‘lost’ a pet feel SO very very good about themselves, because they will be able to point at me and go “No matter what, I’m SO much better than HER”. Really. Brace yourselves…
Pixie was originally my mother-in-law’s. Wasn’t well cared for and the second I could (the morning the ambulance took the horrid woman away to the home – for full disclosure, she is an abusive horrible person cruel to my husband his whole life. I’m allowed to revile her.) and brought her into our upstairs to live. We have 2 sets of cats – 3 sisters with claws all downstairs, and 3 upstairs who are declawed. Brought her up….
She found a hole in the wall 4 inches around, and somehow got into the walls. To be fair, she had masses of space (house was built like a honey comb, rooms and floors added as the years went on, she had huge tracts of areas 20 feet long x 2 feet wide in some places) and she would be heard sometimes just running around in there. She would sneak out at night for the food and water but we couldn’t catch her for love nor money. 5. Freaking. MONTHS. Tried one more humane trap at the end (we had gone thru 6 models already and luck was finally on our side and we got her out and the hole sealed.
But yeah. For 5 months we had a cat somewhere in our walls, haunting the place. I lost a cat ~literally~ inside my house.
(All that said, if the gnomes in my house give back my keys, hair ties, scissors and measuring tapes, I swear to all the gods I will leave GOOD whiskey out every night as long as I live.)
When things like that happened too often, my grandmother recommended leaving a shallow dish of milk out for the “brownies” that had traveled with our ancestors to America. I never was certain it worked, but I liked that it made me feel connected to my family history.
Whiskey sounds like a much better bribe!?
I thought everyone knew that socks are the larval stage, when they appear to go missing they’ve really just metamorphosed into their next life stage: Tupperware lids.
Also: sounds like many readers have a Slinky Malinky 🙂 https://www.amazon.com/Slinky-Malinki-Lynley-Dodd-ebook/dp/B00IIZJIA2/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2LPWSI3XZF2K3&keywords=slinky+malinky&qid=1556950415&s=gateway&sprefix=Slinky+m%2Caps%2C407&sr=8-1
House Gremlins. …. You definitely have an infestation of House Gremlins. They’ll be after your socks next.
I just love this! And socks! Where do they go?! I’m missing half of my small forks. Why? I hardly use them! Ahh, the mysteries of life!
They get sucked through the drain in the washer. They coil around the agitator and just sit there till someone takes the thing apart like my landlord. Its why we use laundry bags for washing all the socks.
I don’t have an agitator, it has a direct drive motor. I don’t know exactly what that means but I do know I don’t have the column in the middle of my washer, lol. So where the heck do those socks go? My son ties his baseball socks together before he dumps them in the hamper. Thank god they’re dark because I don’t think the creases would get clean.
A good friend came in to feed the cats and dogs for a week. Not only did I tell him not to go out the basement door but left a note reminding him not to use that door. Far too easy for a furry escape. Came home to find a note that he used the basement door and thought one of our four cats escaped that or she was hiding. Looked down at the two calicos not three that were demanding attention. My husband went out and called “Storm?” Just once then frantic cat screaming commenced from the tree she had taken refuge in five days previously. Except for vet visits Storm never went near an open door again.
I’ve noticed the older my children get has a direct correlation with what ends up missing. I currently have a 17 year old, my coffee creamer goes missing. She doesn’t drink coffee, however her tea gets awfully light and creamy colored. Also I have 5 hair brushes one for each daughter (of which I have 2), one for myself, one for my husband (he has long hair that eats combs), and one as a backup. I generally can only find 1 at any
given time!
Hey!!! Did you check in Ed’s cabinet for the missing cords and scrunchies?
We have the Sock Express to Mars, and many other things hitch a ride as well, just when we most need them. So frustrating!
Haha! Thank you, same things vanish in my house, charger cords, hair scrunchies, socks and cat. Also can add nail clippers. I have blamed most on kid but he says its us.
Tried buying this for socks, but it only gets adds, nothing gets taken off.
Cats can be such jerks, and yet turn around and be so loving. Abusive behavior really. ? As for spoons-we rent out our condo when not there. I have gone through enough spoons to feed a battalion and can only surmise kids use them to make sandcastles on the beach. Scrunchies are with the missing socks. Chargers get stolen, fall under things, and your cat has a horde of all but the spoons. Spoons get thrown out with paper plates-too lazy to wash.
About the Apple charger cords: we have three teenagers. The kids have friends over, they need to charge their phones. Do the friends take the cords home or plug them into their cars? Are we the House of Cords? Free cords!
Your low spoon count is a mystery. Maybe they’re in kids’ cars? I find them under beds, in sofa cushions. IKEA sells replacement spoon sets/6. Guess we’re not alone.
Low spoon count!
Omg Edward! Talk about a typical cat ? so naughty. I’m so glad he’s safe and at home. Maybe Paul went on a little Staycation too. 🙂
We started missing teaspoons at an alarming rate. Than one day my hubby caught our 3 year old throwing them out with her yogurt container. So now we know how they have been dissapearing. After that incident we were having a snack and she had her peppa pig spoon. I remind her not to throw out her spoon and she gives me a sly sweet smile and says “I dont throw out my spoons, just your spoons.”!!!!!! ??
OMG I THINK YOU JUST SOLVED MY MISSING TODDLER FORKS MYSTERY!!!!!!!!!
Sorry for yelling, but that was definitely a lightbulb moment. Crazy thing is I’ve even seen kid2 throw away a spoon with his yogurt but somehow never made the connection that he was tossing his forks as well. Thanks, it was driving me crazy.
Lol! Thats awesome!!!
Have you looked under the refrigerator? Cats *love* to put things out of reach…. Just a thought.
My sister had a munchkin kitty for years. My youngest would drag his friends over to her house after school so they could pet the funny looking kitty. He was an adorable cat and quite the celebrity with my son’s friends.
So uh.. Why would a male tarantula hibernate, or whatever the hell he’s doing?
I know nothing about spiders, but I’m picturing that YouTube video… You know the one where the Australian (where else?) dude whacks a giant spider with a broom and Satan’s legion of the damned comes swarming out of their mother’s corpse? ???
Let’s hope Paul isn’t actually a Pauline. Gordon will have a blast returning all dem babies “to the wild — as God intended ” ?
Ooh that reminds me of this twitter thread I once read about a NY based writer ordering 200 grasshoppers from Amazon.. Tl;Dr- he realized they escaped when his wife asked why there were grasshoppers in her kitchen lol
I’m glad you found Edward and that he was OK! I have a suggestion for silverware. Try the silverware sets by Knork. They are very durable around work really well. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B075XLVVQH/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_PmDZCb2EQH9SM
They have a patented finger platform! How could you not buy these?
I’m reading about all of these disappearing spoons and forks and wondering if sporks would do the same thing? Or would they be twice as likely to disappear or not be effected by everyone’s cutlery black holes? ? (Picture of a spork attached for non-native English speakers.)
I have only the one data point, as I mostly just carry a spoon or two (and chopsticks) but a former housemate stole my titanium spork to set it on fire because titanium burns a really pretty color.
Hmmm. I think that puts it into the “disappearing” category too. Also, seems like a waste of a good spork. ?
And this was one of my random roboticist friends, back from before this was even my field…! I’m so doomed.
(Of course, last I heard, this friend was raising goats and making art, so who knows?)
Haha the spork scene is one of my favourite scenes in Wall-E ?
Ok random but are the cats bred to have stubby little legs?? Cracks me up hes so cute! Whats he like for balance and climbing compared to other cats? Ive honestly never seen a cat like this before! Thanks for your patience!
Screws. I have them all. They have been appearing wherever I live for the last 20 years. If they were coming out of furniture or appliances or whatever, SOMETHING should have fallen apart. Nothing I won has have ever been missing a screw. I have never located a source for the screws. In recent years, nuts, bolts and nails have started appearing as well.
I once had a tiny hamster called Fluff. He was very sweet and was often out of his cage for (supervised) walkabouts. One morning Fluff was missing from his cage at breakfast; I had forgotten to properly close the cage. The whole family searched for him. We enlisted our neighbours and their kids to help and we all searched for hours. I was frantic thinking he had gotten stuck somewhere and died there. Finally, one kid called “come look at this”. Everyone crowded around to see better. There, in the pocket of my bath robe, was a very sleepy hamster probably wondering what all the fuss was about. He had entered the almost closed wardrobe, found my bath robe on its hanger and climbed the tie belt from the floor to the pocket. I never forgot to close the hamster cage again.
Once a toad disappeared for me. His name was Trevor (of course) and he was a very charming pet. He quickly learned to beg for food and would climb into my hand if invited. One morning I discovered he had climbed on top of his waterfall, managed to move the heavy glass sheet covering his terrarium and squeezed out to freedom. Frantic search followed. Toads need water to thrive and I knew he would not survive for long outside his tank. After hours of searching I finally found a grey, dusty lump. Poor Trevor had hidden away under a heavy old trunk which is so low to the floor we hardly ever bother to move it. This is where the dust bunnies live and multiply, and they had all attached themselves to the clammy toad. It easily took me ten minutes of careful rinsing to get Trevor clean after this adventure, he was totaly covered in grey fuzz to the point that he could hardly move anymore. After this ordeal I didn’t see him for several days, he hid in his house. I’m sure he somehow blamed me for the whole thing.
Good luck with finding all your missing items!
Have any of you read the children’s books about “The Borrowers”? This is a family of extremely small people who live in the walls of a Victorian home and borrow stuff from the regular-sized family who lives in the home. Whenever the Borrowers are finished with the use of the items they borrow, they return the items. I have been blaming them since I was a child after having read the books. The author is English author Mary Norton. I read the books around 1955 when I was 7 or 8. They may have been published in the early 1950s.
Love these books! Back to my childhood ❤️
A wonderful classic children’s story.
We’ve lost all the bottom ‘fitted’ sheets… I was wondering if spoons, socks and Tupperware lids all go to the same place, what is the alien at the end of that particular wormhole doing with it all. What does all of that equal?? 🙂
Glad to read that all that was lost is found. Hope Paul is okay. Recently, my daughter was in the tub, she’s 10, and we noticed a stink bug on the wall. Conversation ensued.
Her: Mama stink bugs can fly.
Me: No, they can’t.
Her: Yes, they really can.
Me: Hey Siri, “Can stink bugs fly?” reading…. oh yes, they fly quite well…OMG.
SO THEN. The Thing takes off flies and you hear this buzzing. I screeched jumped onto the lip of the tub and got behind the curtain. Perched like a maniac.
Her (after recovering from laughter): Can I tell my friends about this?
Have you read The Borrowers by Mary Norton? I recommend the book (which is a kids’ book) as it creates a world where things go missing for a reason.
My hair bands kept disappearing. I finally figured out why when my cat coughed up what I thought was a hair ball but actually had two of the missing ties. Needless to say they now have to be in cat safe places at all time
This is not on topic, but it made me giggle a bit so I’ll file it as “stress relief” 😉
I just went to check again if our local online retailer had put up Sapphire Flames on pre-sale yet. Being lazy, I didn’t actually type in the full title and author name, but figured “Andrews Sapphire” would get me there, I mean, it looks distinctive enough, right?
So it turns out there’s an author called Sapphire Andrews XD
Did not see that coming!
(Sadly, the actual book still not available on pre-sale. I’ll keep checking 🙂 )
I bought this set (https://smile.amazon.com/Buyer-Star-20-Pieces-Silverware-Dinnerware/dp/B0756Z64LC/ref=sr_1_5?m=A1K7AFFOZP9DZ1&marketplaceID=ATVPDKIKX0DER&qid=1557153944&s=merchant-items&sr=1-5 ) of stainless steel purple silverware of amazon a year ago and the color has stayed exactly the same. They also have a rose gold color
The last dozen years I haven’t been living in a family (the zendo structure is different, and while people do borrow my things, the zendo has their own stuff and they’re careful when they use my things, mostly*). Also, I haven’t had cats.
I’ve had the same flatware for four – though I recently bought another four settings and the serving set that goes with it. There was a period many years back when one spoon was missing for many months, but I found it again. My main problem with hair frobs is that I like them, but after growing my hair long enough to restart acquiring them, I lopped it off again. (Alas, my lovely cherry wood hair fork, which sits in a drawer…)
Not only am I moving, though, I recently went to cat heaven, and petted all the cats, and soon two of them will be coming home with me. (Not sure which two, though several are vying for the pick.) And I will be living in a place with 4′ wide ledges 8′ in the air, and a huge screened in porch… and I fully expect my life to get much more delightfully complicated. Right now, the worst of it is that I have a box of pins, in with my sewing stuff, and my pincushion is elsewhere and for the life of me I’m not sure where.
(My pictures from my visit to the Goathouse Cat Refuge are here: https://photos.app.goo.gl/mgGw6t7tSz3zoLWC8 )
* though we’re still working on “good cutlery and wood do not belong in the dishwasher”.
That looks like the place to be, if you’re a rescue cat! I imagine most household cats would like to go there as well. ?
I’ve never seen any place like it. I’d gone there because I was impressed by their careful adoption process, but I wasn’t expecting three acres of free range protected area for the cats to roam and socialize over. I’ve become a contributor (and am hosting a small fundraiser on FB) and am looking into volunteering. …and it sounds like visits are likely going to be mandatory with visiting friends. My sister pretty much just wants to move in with the cats.
http://www.goathouserefuge.org/
(Did I mention I totally fell in love with Chapel Hill? OMG.)
I have to say, earlier in my spork comment you put that you had a friend that raises goats and makes art, so I first thought that the Goathouse was something about that. ?
I’m impressed with their low vet bills for what I assume is quite a large number of cats that must come in needing medical attention. (I would hope they get a discount.) That may seem like a trivial thing to be impressed with, in the grand scheme of things though.
Good luck picking out two! It seems like it would be quite difficult. ?
It totally will be… but it will be the best kind of difficult, because hanging out with the kitties while they stop by and request pettin’s and snuggles and show me how beautiful they are is the best way to spend time. (Though the amount of cat fur was truly epic!)
And I am hoping to do some volunteer work, though I might be looking more at the tech support side, depending on schedules and needs. (Still, visiting with the kitties is a must.)
Oh, and while I’d never been here before, a number of friends have goats, or have had goats, or – in the case of my sister and her best friend – want to have goats. (I think my sister needs to spend some time around asshole goats practicing goat-parkour first, but who am I to say?)
When my husband was in high school one of his younger brothers acquired a pet tarantula named Fred. Fred lived in the room with my husband and his brother in a lovely terrarium. My husband had warned his brother that if Fred should ever escape no mercy would be shown. One day when my husband came home from school there was Fred perched upon his pillow. My husband slipped off his shoe and proceeded to smash Fred as hard as he could. Fred turned to dust. Turns out Fred had shed his exoskeleton and the younger brothers thought it would be funny to put it on their big brother’s pillow. To this day my husband still does not think it was funny. Several weeks later the three brothers heard screaming coming from the kitchen and a frying pan banging on the floor. Yes, Fred had escaped. Fred spent his remaining time on earth in the science room at the high school.
Missing items – we had a cat who used to LOVE to chew up iPhone and headphone cords. Scrunchies go into a blackhole and never come out
I hope your stress levels go down soon!
I don’t know if anyone else has mentioned this, but missing stuff means you have Borrowers.
Just laughed my way through a load of your comments. Such a funny thread.
But you should feel sorry for those of us who live on our own, with no cats (or other creatures) to blame because stuff does go missing – I have a phobia of lone socks re-appearing from the washing machine – and who is there to blame? Same when stuff gets broken. It’s most annoying!
Oh man! I seriously love you guys! Whether it’s the adventures of Nevada & Mad Rogan, Kate & Curran, or your missing cat I will read anything you write.
I empathize with the missing scrunchies/hair ties. I want to add pens to the list of things that go missing.
Sometimes cats just take a timeout, in your cat’s case the eye treatment had felt stressful. I had a tortoiseshell longhair cat who disapeared. Searched the house to no avail. 4 days later heard a noise in the drawer of my double bed base, and there, among the stored blankets was Tabitha. None the worse for wear and looking quite refreshed as she emerged. Now there is lost and there is – what do you call it when you are sleeping on top of the lost cat and she makes no noise?
This was a cat that got caught in a slamming door as a 5 week old kitten and had a plate in her back leg, so not stressed but had just weaned a litter and obviously wanted a nice quiet peace as te=hey say!
I do not understand why people keep things like spiders and snakes as pets. These are not pets, they are things we should leave ALONE because they mean us no good. They’re here to reduce the populations of insects and rodents, not to be cuddled by humans.
Hi ! TY for sharing ,it made my day.