If you eavesdropped on writer conversations, you would think we were all mad.
On covers and models:
“Why can’t we have a bearded guy without a beard?” ~ Gordon
OMGosh — LOVE! But — question. Is his finger on the trigger? ~ Faith Hunter
Yes. It’s a plastic gun, Faith. He isn’t going to shoot anyone with it. ~ Ilona
Do I want to know about the ice penis? ~ Jeffe Kennedy
On process:
“It’s a departure for us. She still stabs people, but she is conflicted about it.” ~Ilona
Coffee? check. Timer? check. Music? check. Big word count goals today. ~ Devon Monk
Getting a DIK was a huge thing for me. ~ Meljean Brook (DIK stands for Dessert Island Keeper award.)
That moment when autocorrect changes antifungal to anti dung Al. ~ Faith Hunter
Showers are for closers! ~ Jeaniene Frost.
I need a tape recorder running. “It doesn’t bend that way” was a recent one.
+1
Bwahahaha I love y’all. Thank you for the fly on the wall moment. ? I needed that chuckle so thanks!
😀 😀 😀
ROFLMAO! Here’s to all the unbearded bearded guys! Thanks for the laugh, I’m only 30 hours into a 48 hour shift and I needed some humor.
Always be closing, Jeaniene Frost. Always be closing.
LOLOL
Bwahahahaha love the inside scoop. Keep doing what you’re doing – it obviously works ?
Thank you so much for bringing us chuckles today!
+1
Thanks for sharing :).
ROTFL! ??
Gordon is working too hard.
Jeaniene gets the prize for funniest and wisest.
We had the same question about the icicle penis, so it’s not just writers.
Although I love the DIK one. I’ve have lots of fun with that acronym.
My brother once tried to totally weird me out one day. He knows that I mostly drink ice water, and so he (or maybe it was his gf at the time) found an ice mold in the shape of a penis (probably used for bachelorette parties) and when I asked for ice water, that’s the ice I got. I wasn’t paying that much attention to the glass and so when I took a drink I got an ice penis to the mouth. I flipped it on him though by taking a bite off the tip. ?
Uh, thanks. All us guys reading this are gonna wince and go ” Oh no she didn’t” .
???
To which all the woman reply, “oh yes she did” and “you go girl!”.
So, um, where did he buy the mold? 😛
I did the tiny ice cube penises for my mother is drink on her birthday a few years back. Had to alert her to the fact that they were tiny penises before they all melted. There’s all sorts of fun silicone molds you can get.
…y’know, almost everything I know about this style of bachlorette parties comes from reading Molly Harper books.
I was immediately transported back to the lead in to a song at an Uncle Bonsai concert, years ago, where the singers (both female) explained that this was a very special year for them, because they were both 26 so this was the year when they were finally going to get their penises. (The song was, of course, Penis Envy. Which I’ve mentioned before this year, I think…)
Sad thing is these sound like some of our Operating Room conversations…..
I know. ? Nice to see that this can be anywhere
that “anti dung al” remark would only be better if Kim Harrison had said it!! lol
Too funny!!
I’m not surprised. I teach middle school, I go home and think about ALLLLLLL the crazy shit that came out of my mouth and what came out of their mouths and BAM! I’m drinking.
Oh me too! But on the kindergarten level!
Yep… Post-secondary teaching is like that too. When you teach writing (the technical/academic kind, not the fun kind), there’s a running team list of ‘listen to this…’ from assignments. We do try to not laugh AT students; it’s our job to teach them to be better … But some days, it’s laugh or cry (or drink).
I know the pain, especially after the first class when you carefully explain that “creative” writing (scifi, mystery, romance, deep-dive-into angst) will NOT be happening. And yes, this class is a program AND graduation requirement!
BTW about the ice penis cover, I recently came across a YouTube post about creative libraries . One of the pictures was a shelf labeled “men who have lost their shirts “. White Hot was there.
Splendid!!
On the subject of an “ice penis”. I found its tracks in the snow…
?????
I expected the tracks to be smaller! 😉
Or at least get smaller the farther they go.
(Because snow is cold. Get it?)
?
ha ha ha ha ha ha. That was awesome!
Does anyone else read oglaf? (Note: portions of oglaf are highly NSFW. But it is amusing, and subversive.)
Yes. I do and agree.
Too funny!! Can’t stop laughing!! Love the pic of tracks in the snow, and Tink’s comment about thinking they would get smaller! ????
Bwahaha! Thank you. A great antidote to doing the taxes. I needed it, and the follow up comments.
I am still going back to those tracks in the snow….lol
*raises hand* I kinda want to know about the ice penis.
The BDH was told, don’t talk about it anymore. Look at the cover of White Book Hot.
The book White Hot.
I dont get it. ?
Omg!!! I never noticed… ?? that is too funny. Unfortunate but funny!!! Now, will never speak of it again…
Oh crikey! I never noticed that and now I can’t unsee it! Oh dear, oh dear, that made me fall about laughing. Thanks for making my return from holiday much more cheerful!
Me either/me too.
Wow, never noticed it at all until just then. Gee, thanks so much (not) Henry and BDH for that “pointer”! A mind deletion needed for that, please! *giggle-snort*
i still don’t get it.
Seriously.
Where is there iconography of a penis?
it isn’t drawn like a penis, but if you look at where the icicle is in the 2nd letter H (HOT), it is almost exactly where a man’s penis would be. Hence, “ice penis”. I hadn’t noticed it either until this thread. And now, I can’t ‘unsee it” either (did Nevada ever figure out how to turn back time?!)
Love all the comments! Great way to end a work day. ??
My husband and I are on our 6th book, collaboratively (about to self-publish our first). Not only am I sure we are on the FBI watch list, but my husband can’t concentrate at home so we write at Starbucks. We have to rotate which Starbucks we go to because after a few days straight the staff starts looking at us with concern– as if they will need to report us to the authorities.
“How about Napalm? Could a talented chemist make that at home?”
Napalm? It’s my understanding that anyone who can make Jello (jelly, for you speakers of British English) can handle napalm. Possibly I’m wrong, but we aren’t talking about Mother of Satan, after all. That, from what I’ve picked up, is a good way to meet one’s maker ahead of schedule, taking the immediate surroundings with one.
Witty! Love it. LOL
Thanks guys. It’s funny to see someone do a double take after they accidentally hear something we’ve said, and then to review the conversation in my head and wince when I realize what they must have overheard. 🙂
Readers out in public may or may not yell at characters to not do it or tell the author that they will absolutely track them down if they kill off x etc etc. George RR Nartin has been murdered millions of times I’m sure. I really hated one Booda dying in battle. Never will agree with that one. Sigh. So it just goes to show that writers infect readers and we’re all wacked out. ?
Love it! Thanks. I’d be in trouble if someone managed to record me as I go through my days, talking to myself.
The finger on the trigger is a pet peeve of mine. I have an ongoing cover share thing with a friend. And the he is currently shooting his girlfriend in the butt, or he/she learned gun safety from Hollywood is a major reoccurring theme. That and how many different people’s body parts make up one person. And another big favorite : that does not bend that way.
The only Ilona Andrews cover that I just can’t stand is the audio book cover for Gunmetal Magic. To me it does not represent the awesomeness that is the book’s audio version. Though they cover for the print version does have the finger on the trigger issue as well, the overall composition was much better.
Sounds about right! I get crazy looks all the time. Last one was from a friend when he asked me what my book was about and my research. “No, really. I swear I’m not a serial killer” did not make it better.
Ha Ha, Thanks for the chuckles. It is amazing how funny we can be without trying. My youngest and I try to insert puns to each other which I am sure sound weird to people listening in.
A middle school girl was presenting/ doing a book talk about the book Heartless by Marissa Meyer to two middle school boys. “So the king, he has these black and white balls…”
My eyes immediately cut to the boys to see them looking at each other. (Lots of eye contact going around the table.) They admirably held it together, but my inner immature middle schooler thought it was worth an internal snicker.
That would be the moment I would channel my inner AC/DC – I but I’ve got the biggest balls of them all 😉 My balls are always bouncing… (it’s been 30 yrs since I 1st heard that song but it still makes me snicker)
Now I have that song stuck in my head ????. Have to go listen to AC/DC.
So basically y’all are endlessly entertaining in real life too!
Thanks. I needed that.
I have a list of crazy a stuff I’ve said as a parent that is similar. ‘Don’t rub your wiener on the shower wall’ why? ‘Because then it gets hard and you ask me to fix it’. Or please don’t play with your wiener at the table. Or new fav is. Kiddo puts the lid back on my decorative basket in the bathroom filled with lady supplies. He proceeds to announce ‘mommy I fixed your ‘gina box’ I lost it and still giggle over that one.
Dammit, I know better than to try to drink anything when reading these posts and comments!
“Showers are for closers”? No,no hygiene is imp! Please for the sake of your friends & relatives, shower before you close out your book draft! LOL!
Heh that spellcheck story reminds me of being deployed and writing plans for our AF base and having to continually stop MS Word from changing Al Udeid to Al Undead……apparently we were all zombies?