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Tote Bag Dushegub Giveaway

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Hehehe. Happy Monday!

At Dragoncon, Jeaniene Frost and we gave away tote bags with a vampire on one side and a dushegub on the other. They turned out much cuter than expected. We printed 250 and they were gone – whooosh. For anyone looking into their own merch, we used 4imprint, and had a great experience. They are usually reliable and hit a nice balance between a good product and a reasonable price.

Anyway, both Jeaniene and I meant to keep a bag for ourselves, and I was sure I did. Then we got home, unpacked, and no bag. Bummer.

Luckily I still have access to the merch store, so I made my own personal merchandise.

I posted this on Instagram and so many people like it and wanted one that I decided to give one away.

This is your chance to win your own personal tote bag. It is 18 x18 inches, so large enough to hold many skeins. The word yarn can be replaced by a word of your choice, as in “Finish this project or no more fabric!” or “Finish this novel or no more books!”

To enter, comment on this post with your favorite Innkeeper quote or moment. Please comment on the blog only. Entries on Facebook/Instagram/Threads will not count, because it’s too hard to keep track. If you are seeing this on a social network or in your email inbox, click here to enter.

If you don’t read Innkeeper, put the favorite quote from our series of your choice. The giveaway is open to US and International readers. Winner will be chosen on Monday 23, 2024.

Please be aware that the bag will be printed to order, so it will take a couple of weeks to make its way to you. Just in time for Halloween if you are in US.

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Comments

  1. I like the space chickens. They are hilariously serious about their philosophical arguments. I wouldn’t mind a roll of toilet paper…erm…parchment that I could carry around to take notes on, such as the ones the students of the Great Scholar Thek have to keep track of random thoughts and ideas.

  2. “He said he’d met a girl with stardust on her robe, and when he looked into her eyes, he saw the universe looking back.” Sweep in Peace

    Man, I just swooned.

    • My (current) favourite IA quote is from KD: “I’m sure he is”, which probably doesn’t stand up without the context. Is it (context included) too much for consideration?

      “Rimush bowed deeply. “You are very generous, Sharratum.” “The Consort is merciful and kind to a fault,” Keelan said. The two of them stared at each other for half a second. “I’m sure he is,” Jushur said. Ha!” (Magic Claims)

      • *snort, chuckle* good one, enjoyed that scene. Thanks I need a reread, it’s been over five months 😬

    • One of my favorite quotes as well. Got Halloween costume this year based on it- a cloak (hard to find a good robe) with galaxies and nebulae printed on it. Work appropriate and fun. Just add broom (or spear) for innkeeper costume.

  3. Sean playing with the fart gun in One Fell Sweep is one of my favorite Innkeeper moments…because I have the sense of humor of an 11 year-old. 😁

  4. When Arland’s family takes him to task about the video of him rescuing Maud and her daughter, “…..and ….offers of marriage”.

    • when Arland and Helen are pretty much busted for extreme fun after Maud comes back from the brides event and everything that follows.

      It’s the first scene that popped into my brain, which is non functional after an emergency trip to the vet this morning to find out our little dog has broken her hip implant. she’s 5 had severe dysplasia when we adopted her as a puppy so she has bionic hips….this is our 4th month in a row with an emergency related vet trip

  7. “Besides, it’s been almost two weeks since anyone was brutally murdered. Things were getting a bit dull. We wouldn’t want to die of boredom, would we?” Caldenia

    Sweep with me- I just find this funny. I don’t know what is says about me.

  10. The point when Dina brings Adira to Baha-char, it’s such a kind moment and shows her understanding of the needs of her guests. She is truly a talented Innkeeper.

  11. “You went up against nine knights in prime condition, in good armor, and couldn’t kill any of them without ruining the wedding. Who does that?”

    “Well, sure, it sounds unwise when you put it like that. But I won.”

    I love Maud and Arland

  12. My current favorite moment is the final, cathartically public, sweet sweet revenge scene from Sweep of the Blade; when Maude and Arland announce to the Kozor and Serak families that their plot to take down House Krahr has been discovered and summarily dismantled.

    Arland: “My lords and ladies, please take these few precious seconds of your lives to contemplate where it all went wrong and prepare to cross death’s threshold. You will not be granted another chance to reflect.”

    Maud, to the sneery vampire babes, in Ancestor Vampiric: “Did you get all that or do you need me to translate it for you into your backwater gibberish?”

    And if I were perchance to win, I would be thrilled to receive that tote bag with: “Finish this project or no more books!” Books tempt me away from many many worthy chores…

    Thank you thank you.

    • This scene! And book word! Couldn’t have said it better. I love that Maud could understand every word of ancient vampiric.

      This post is a treasure trove of good memories. There are so many wonderful scenes and quotes. It’s hard to narrow down to one.

  13. “I crawled out of my chair and walked to the phone. If they asked me one more time if I approved of my congressmen, I would use my powers for evil.”
    Heheh so me right now with all the political texts I’ve been getting.

  14. I laughed out loud at the bag.
    Do you wish to discuss?
    I’m going to try that line on my kids.

    I’m listening to Graphic Audio of Sweep of the Heart and I love it so much. I just need more Helen. Obviously the Inn did too. . .

  15. “Obnoxious smart-ass. Never been anywhere, never done anything, huh. Arrested development, huh. Considering that it was coming from a man who spent his nights peeing on his neighbors’ fences, that was rich. Shoot, I should’ve told him that. Oh well, too late now.”

    The beginning of my favorite love story haha.

  17. My absolute favourite, the “Consort” confusion in Magic Claims: whenKeelan says “The Consort is merciful and kind to a fault” (referring to Kate) and then Jushur replies confused, “I’m sure HE is” (referring to Curran).

  20. I don’t have the memory for quotes, but being a HUGE fan of the Edge series, I was THRILLED to see those characters again. 🙂

  21. The Innkeeper series is my favorite by far, but my favorite all time quote has to be “Here, kitty, kitty, kitty” from Magic Bites

  22. Sweep in peace: “When the night is long and dark, you picture dawn in your head and you wait for it….”

    I read Innkeeper and Kingsmen when my mental load gets to much. It is save and the emotions it evokes takes me to a safer place. The only other author that has come close is Nalini Singhs changeling series.

    This does not mean other authors are bad but that I just spend a lot of time finding a writing voice that so effortlessly captures the reader. The Maggie excerpts have the same affect 🙂

    I’m glad you guys enjoyed Dragoncon and good luck with the next project.

    • ohhh dios mío!!! lo mismo Inkeeper y Kingsmen y Nalini con changeling
      te saludo desde la otra parte del mundo 🥹

    • I love how resourceful Dina is with ordinary Earth objects like when she went to the store with Sean to buy the obnoxious toys and fart gun.

  26. How do you pick just one moment?! What comes to mind right now I’d any time Oro loses it in the most dramatic, Shakespearian style ever. It’s always fabulous and hilarious.

  27. I like when Sean set one of the marriage contestants up to quote Conan the Barbarian. I love seeing that he’s settling into his life as an innkeeper.

    • Oh this is the best ever! I laughed so hard when I read this and again when listening to both audio versions that my family came to check on me!
      You see my husband coached our kids to recite this Conan quote when they was a toddlers and still says it to them periodically now that they are older.

  30. Pick one quote?!? This BDH Member is challenged with decisional paralysis.

    From the scene of Dina and Caldaneia observing the “ninjas” crossing the backyard, now trapped in the ground, and Sean advancing on the invaders in Full Wolf form. hehehe.

    Caldaneia remarks, “Oh dear, I think he broke that one!”

    Her tone in the audiobooks is priceless!

  31. My favorite moment (currently) is when Maud sees Helen & Arland with matching tree residue….and they don’t comment on it. I love that they two are bonding..,,

  32. I love Orro. From Sweep of the Heart:

    “I will need two assistants! Maybe three. I need the species list. I need to go shopping. I need to go to Baha-char! I need things and money!”

  35. Beast with his huge maw of gleaming teeth. The idea of a fluffy little lap dog that transforms into something else just tickles me. 😀 The huge, flirty space vampire is pretty high on my list of Innkeeper faves, too.

  38. Without doubt my favorite moment is when George bumped into Maud and offered to send her message to Dina. That random encounter took her grimly desperate situation from hopeless to a wild rescue. And it all happened because Dina went the extra mile for George and made it possible for him to reach his goal in solving a war. Great example of someone reaping what they sowed.

    • Random?
      Remember, this is George we are talking about here…

      I don’t think he even knows how to spell that word. 😉

  39. I love that Caldenia wants junk food. “You’re Funyuns and Melli Yello, Your Grace.” Clean Sweep. The contrast of someone so influential and powerful with obviously refined taste wanting something so common and cheap…

  40. “If the rules they made up don’t apply anymore, they don’t know how to act, and it makes them feel like their survival is in doubt. Instead of adapting to a new situation and coming up with a new set of rules, some of them will fight to the death to keep the world the way it was.”

    -Sweep of the Blade

  41. From Helen in Sweep of the Blade: “…if I challenged the boy, there would be ripper cushions.”

    I can just see the interaction of a serious little child saying this to an adult who is trying to be serious and not giggle about “ripper cushions” whenever I read this.

  42. The Space Chicken scenes were priceless!

    Sean: “They are chickens.” “Technically they’re not even avian.” “Dina, we’re going to host sixty-one space chickens.” “Yes.” “And they’re going to argue philosophy”.

    Just an FYI there are far far far to many hysterical quotes in all of your books to really have a favorite. Just saying… 🙂 Love from House Campbell

  43. Dina thinking – “There would be no more dead dogs if I could help it.” in Clean Sweep after her conversation with Caldenia. I love all these books because all the women are badasses, but Dina’s introduction & this simple thought, despite all the logic against it, had me hook, line and sinker. I think this particular sentence might be why Innkeeper series as a whole is my absolute favorite, simple decision with complex actions.

  44. It’s been a while since I read Inn Keeper series so I am just gonna drop my favorite KD. “ Curran growled. “Later, babycakes.”Babycakes. Asshole. “Good hunting, sugar woogums.” This always makes me chuckle and to me is the best representation of my relationship too.

  46. Nuan Tooki ducked her head, fluffing her tail, and clasped her little paw-hands together, looking almost terminally adorable. “Please forgive us, Lord Consort. It’s all my fault. I was lost. This brave tachi came to my rescue and then these mean vampires came and menaced us. You are not like them. You are a good vampire. I was so frightened and helpless, and you have saved us. I am so sorry.”

  47. Dina “The apple trees recovered.” Sean “I told you I wasn’t poisonous.” Sweep In Peace.

    This series has so many great moments, but this grabs me every time.

  48. My favorite: “Yes, the princess you were expecting put on her armor and left to kill the dragon. So sorry.”

    Love these books!

  49. Pretty much any of the scenes with George being George, but especially the scene that starts with this:
    George and Sophie looked at me.
    “I’ll get us some tea,” Sophie said and went into the kitchen.
    “She made you come down here to talk to me.” I took a seat on the sofa.
    “Yes.” He lowered himself onto a chair opposite me.
    “And you humored her. Her feelings are important to you, so you weighed the odds and decided that whatever plan you have wouldn’t be injured too much by having this conversation with me, and here we are.”
    “Yes.” He leaned back, his handsome face somber. She must’ve told him he had to be honest.

  50. RIPPERCUSHIONS! That was so funny, I raised 4 boys and we have quite a few words that are still mispronounced.

  51. I love the moment where Maud rides the Hordes gift in Sweep of the Blade (blanking on the species name!) That and her finally speaking in Ancestor Vampiric on the battle station!

  52. Orro turned from the stove. “It’s the rite of passage during which the young males of the human species learn to display aggression and use weapons.”

  53. How can I pick just one favourite moment?! The time Arland had his first taste of coffee and got drunk and naked, when Sean first saw how big Beast’s mouth gets when she’s angry, the Inn’s reaction when Orro first started shouting Fire, Dina finding out what Sean had agreed to do to save her life and how determined she was to make sure it didn’t happen, the water issues George kept experiencing after he destroyed some of apple trees!

    There are just so many amazing moments in the series that it’s impossible to just pick one. I could go on with this list forever!

    Thanks for the giveaway, that tote bag is brilliant!

  54. The whole scene in Clean Sweep with Arland, Sean, Dina, and Calendia when Sean gives Arland coffee. I laugh so hard every time.

    Arland opened the back door and walked out. I ran to the door. He stopped in the middle of the grassy stretch of lawn and yanked off his T-shirt, presenting us with a view of a muscular back.

    “So coffee gets him drunk,” Sean said.

    “Vampires have a very sensitive metabolism,” Caldenia said.

    “He just drank an equivalent of an entire bottle of whiskey,” I told him.

    Arland’s jeans followed his T-shirt. He wasn’t wearing anything under them.

    “Oo,” Caldenia said. “What is the saying? Full moon!”

    Too bad Maud wasn’t there to see the action. 😉

    • I also laugh so hard when Maud is at the wassail in Sweep of the Blade. First everyone is horrified when Maud puts cream in her coffee. The second is when at other wassails in her past life someone challenges her to a drink off with the other person is stinking drunk, and Maud is trying to find the nearest bathroom.

      • I always wondered why the vampires were so keen to get Maud drunk on coffee. Surely they knew it wouldn’t work on a human??? It’s not like they’re unaware of her species origin.

    • “Here, I own the air you breathe.” One of my favorite parts when she decides to help the Heru. Which we all knew she was going to do anyway. 😂

  55. It’s so hard to choose a favorite. Though one of my favorites is from Sweep of the Heart when Cyanide gets her date. And the whole thing is just Dena giving “attentions“ by brushing this massive feline! So very cat. She and the perspective groom to be just ignore each other the entire time. Lol

  57. Conlan won’t attack you if you don’t present a threat. Your best strategy is to sit still and look down. Don’t run because he will chase you, and he is very fast. Cringing and urinating on yourself will also remove you from his target list. Magic Tides. I think it’s the last sentence I love best 😂

  59. Soooo many favorite scenes and lines! How about Cookie negotiating with the muskrats and shoe vendor. “The odor adds character!”

  61. I like the ‘Finish this novel or no more books”. Or ” The princess you were expecting put on her Armour & left to kill the dragon “

  64. My fav comment from Inkeeper (after ripper cushions, of course!)~

    “Yes, the princess you were expecting put on her armor and left to kill the dragon. So sorry.”

  65. “It was the kind of sky that called space pirates to their ships.”

    I just loved Sweep in Peace so much! Pretty much all interactions with Orro and I just love George, Jack, Gaston, and Sophie.

  66. “Their first option is murder, their second option is murder and if that fails they go straight to murder.”
    My favorite quote from Sweep of the Heart.

  70. OMG! It has to be the Ferret Heist for me! I still giggle thinking about it mostly because I had ferrets and know that they are the best thieves ever!

    • I once had an entire little business of ferrets…seven in total. (My Dad called them “The Herd”.)
      It was adorable chaos. Especially before they learned that us being in bed meant “Cuddle up with us and sleep”, rather than “All of the humans’ toes are still, and ripe for nibbling!”
      When we finally moved house years later, we found many little interesting piles of shinies hoarded away in the beds’ box springs, the bottom of the couch, underneath all the major appliances, and anything else too low to sweep under. 🙂
      Listening to the ferret heist scene makes me smile and miss my little buddies every time I do a listen-through.

    • It’s the billionaires reaction to the ferret heist that makes it for me… “put pressure sensors in the dryer ducts. yes, yes that is what I just said, you heard me, now do it” (severely paraphrased, sorry)

  71. The bit where Oreo explains the plot of ‘A Christmas Story’ to Wing. I did a dramatic reading of it at Christmas a few years ago and had everyone howling with laughter!

  72. I was mesmerized by the description of Nycati’s improvised performance in honor of Bestata’s talent demonstration (which was also impressive even though I dislike her as a character). I was wishing I could be in the audience.

    There are so many Innkeeper moments, though. Anything related to Orro, Helen’s “ripper cushions” and Arland drunk on coffee running naked into the orchard are just a few. Dina has so many I can’t settle on just one.

  73. The first time that Sean is pushed from the Inn and then the scene after where he thinks that Dina needs her broom.

    Or

    The scene where Maude is walking away from Arland and he doesn’t realize she had already resigned and he can’t run after her

  74. “Yes, the princess you were expecting put on her armor and left to kill the dragon. So sorry.”

    My tote would have to change to fabric as I am a quilter who is down the rabbit hole with my stash

  75. I have to pick one? I’m torn between the moment in Clean Sweep that Dina and Sean pass by George and Jack at Bahachar (I do love story tie-ins), and in One Fell Sweep when the Hiru are revealed to be the Draziri gods. The description of their beauty is so vivid.

  77. There are so many great quotes and scenes, but this is the one that makes me chuckle all the time even if I’m not even rereading the books at the time –

    “Then the scary old knight came and told me that if I challenged the boy, there would be ripper cushions.”

  78. What really beats “Ripper Cushions?” But to keep from being a broker record, I will go with a runner up:
    “That idiot couldn’t find his way out of a boot with floodlights and scout support. Trust me, victory is not in his future.”

    • +1

      My main projects are beadwork, and the bag is probably too big for them. Good thing my secondary projects are usually yarn.

  80. “Did you know that smoking meat with Dushegub logs gives the flesh a unique flavor? I just found out. This is very exciting. I couldn’t help but notice you have five on the lawn. They must have done something to warrant a rigorous pruning.”

    “We are not pruning guests to use as fuel for a BBQ,” I said.

    “I spoke to Orro, and he’s on board.”

    “No,” I said firmly.

  82. The aftermath of the dragon trying to consume Helen, next morning having breakfast. Armand and Maud at the table while Helen flirts with gravity on the window ledge. The entire scene felt so homey and destined. I loved it. it felt like a pre reward for them all before the big fight in Sweep of the Blade.

  84. So hard to choose one. But this one is at the top:

    “Will you take this seriously? The future of an entire species is at stake.”

    “Yes, we’re going to save them with a fart gun.”

    One fell sweep

  86. “He said he’d met a girl with stardust on her robe, and when he looked into her eyes, he saw the universe looking back.”
    Sweep in Peace

  87. My favorite Innkeeper moment is Sean and Beast in the orchard in Clean Sweep. Beast biting the tree to get to him.

  89. I laugh every time at Orro describing what he thinks Christmas is because of watching the Christmas Story. But these lines especially….
    Orro – “I suppose small Helen could substitute for a male. I’m sure we could find her a proper gun.
    Sean – “We can’t, she’ll out her eye out.”
    Orro – “That does seem to be a prevalent concern among parents. Perhaps we could employ some sort of protective eye wear.”

  92. The first moment Kate meets Beast Lord: “Here kitty kitty” Also the same moment form his point of view 🙂
    Also my reward would say: “Finish this novel or no more books!”

  93. lurrrve the yarn bag so much I want to squeeze and make it mine!!!!!

    This is one of my Favs across series…

    “Sometimes when Olasard persisted in his feline entitlement, I gently booped him on the nose with my finger. The gray Maine Coon always looked stunned, as if I had committed an outrage so great, he simply couldn’t come to terms with it. The sphinx looked just like that.”

    Chapter 4 , Sweep of the Heart

  94. I love a give-away as much as anyone, but absolutely can not decide what quote to post as my entry. There are just too many options. Do you suppose that, after the dust settles on this event, it would be possible to just order one from the store and pay for it? Maybe limit the options for our particular vice/craft of choice to those that are wholesomely bad such as yarn, books, fabric, cross-stitch etc…so people don’t’ go off the rails with it. Do you wish to discuss? 🙂

    • This had me gagging on my coffee soon as I read it🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 no more store I think wonder if they’d let us have the file to make our own at vendors though?

  95. My favorite Innkeeper quote: “Sean Evans! I see you. Stop marking your territory on my apple tree.” I think that was the moment in the first book that I knew I would enjoy every one of the books in this particular series. It is such a wonderful juxtaposition with the seriousness of the dead dog scene that starts the book.

  98. “Maybe he’s just not that into you” Dina to Sean when he complains Arland isn’t answering his texts. – One Fell Sweep

    I still laugh at that whenever I think about it.

  99. I basically like everything Helen says (ripper cushions), but I love when she jumps in all fierce and adorable to defend her Mom during the fight.

  101. so many, but I loved the scene where you find out why Caldenia lost her throne and lives at the inn.

  102. I think often of this conversation between Adira and Dina.

    “Dina, it can’t all be sunshine, shopping trips, and bubbly drinks.”
    “But wouldn’t it be nice if it was?”

  105. finish this project or no more books!

    Sweep of the Heart
    When Caldenia, Kosandion, and Dina are walking and we learn Caldenia ‘s background and why she killed her brother. And Caldenia got to meet her niece and nephew.

    I read this chapter at work when it was being posted weekly and my coworkers all wanted to know why I was crying.

    • Oh I know! The nobility of the entire situation, what strength. Had to pause for a bit after I read that bit.

  109. In relation to previous post. Sweep of the Blade, after the battle on the battle station, when Helen was waiting with Arland for Maude to wake up.

  111. My favorite Innkeeper moment is whenever Dina makes a special room. I would love to be able to make any room I wanted. And the descriptions of the rooms are always so vivid.

  112. I love when Arland and Helen are waiting for Maud to get back from the vigil hike thing, and they both have sap on them and twigs in their hair, and they just refuse to discuss it!

  115. I listened to the audiobooks so I don’t have any direct quotes. So many great moments though! I recently chuckled with my sister about the the beginning of the first Innkeeper book when Dina tried to get Sean to protect his territory, so he came and peed on her trees.

  116. There are so many brilliant moments, but my favourite is when Arland drinks coffee in Clean Sweep. It still makes me giggle helplessly as I picture him gamboling around the orchard, flinging clothes as he goes! I would request a bag that says “books” instead of yarn.

    • Hey Isabel….
      Tapas Innkeeper Chronicles Episode 20 has this scene covered and it is the next best thing!

      My favorite is Purpose. I Reread it often while thinking BDH fluffy thoughts and waiting p******** for Wilmington 3 serial to begin……

      It tickles my funny bone after all Kate’s teaching, Narra flew into action killing the insect with 3 stabs .

      She did the exact same thing Kate would have done. My favorite line was the ending.

      “There would be other towers and other hrrrts, but I would always remember Narra’s first smile.”

      Can’t wait to read what happens next in Wilmington 3.🕺💃🎊

  117. My favourite moments are all the times that the Dushegub get what’s coming to them – they think they are so superior and clever and they are even taking up 5% of Dina’s attention because she has so many more important things to think about. She’s always 8 steps ahead of them.

  118. Favorite of all time.

    Small talk with the dragon. How are you? Eaten any adventurers lately? Sure, just had one this morning. Look, I still got his femur stuck in my teeth. Is that upsetting to you?

  119. Apparently it wouldn’t take my first comment because it was too close so someone else’s. But if this a is a second one from me, I sincerely apologize! I did look to see if I could find my other one first.
    Anyway.
    My favorite quote is Helen saying “Rippercushions” for the first time. Always makes me smile

  120. Sweep of the heart chapter 4
    The scene where sphinx gets owned by the First Scholar.
    I love this scene which is ended by the inspirational speech to young scholars about reading classics.

  122. Gotta be Cyanide’s line “I require attentions. All of them… and the brush.” Kosandion’s reaction makes it hilarious. The whole bit about Cyanide and Olasaard just proves HA are cat people.

  123. One of my favorites out of many is a reference to The Princess Bride:

    “She’s made the one mistake she couldn’t afford. It is a basic rule of galactic warfare. Never get into a land war with a vampire. Especially during the Feudal period.”
    – Caldenia, “Sweep of the Heart”

  125. “Since every being is unique and unlike any other, so too their love and the microcosm it creates are unique. It cannot be defined, but only experienced.”

    This I felt in my soul.

  126. Lovely! I laughed so hard at the Costco scene when the woman kicks the stalker and says, “Don’t mess with Texas.” I’m so glad too that she gets to meet Dina later.

  130. So many favorite quotes and moments! Hard to pick— maybe the ripper cushions moment, or the one where Dina and Sean pass George and Jack in the market without knowing who they are yet, or the one where Officer Marais threatens to arrest the bird-assassins! Love them all…💜🦋💜

  131. I really like the bit where Dina, Sean and Cookie are negotiating with the Jawa-like beings and Dina has to give up one of her shoes.

  133. Ooh! Ok, my favorite quote in innkeeper is “House Meer. Hasten to the high castle so that you may witness the execution of your preceptor and the marshal while I ponder the fate of your house” (said by the War Lord from ‘Sweep of the Heart’- I may be off by a couple of words). And I would like the quote, “Finish this novel or no more books!”

    Other favorite moments:

    -Hope Crushing Horde’s religious ceremony, where they can see their loved ones who have passed away one more time.

    -The Hiru revealing themselves to the Draziri before moving on to their new planet

    -“You’re the best chef in the galaxy” moment, where Dina is reassuring Orro about his perceived failure in making his big “comeback.”

    -Space chicken debates

    -Helen giving the one of the Hiru (Sunset?) a Christmas ornament.

    -Wing carving a figure of the Draziri leader, then attempting to pee on it.

    -Maud’s rescue from the anus of the galaxy.

    -Maud interacting with the Tachi at dinner (with the fruit, bread, and honey)

    -Orro’s speeches

    Ok, let me limit myself, or I’ll be here all day…

    • Choices, choices! From Magic Tides –
      “Red Horn kills people,” Thomas said from behind my back. “Your wife…”
      “Will enjoy the exercise,” my husband said. “You know what they say. Happy wife, happy life.”
      This just shows how they’ve grown together.

  134. One of my all time favorite moments: book 1 after Sean is starting to work with Dina, and they just had all the materials delivered. Dina is messing with Sean and keeps moving the materials in the yard.

  136. I really enjoyed the one from Roman’s book that you also put on a shirt.

    “I’m not evil, but I’m beloved by evil things. ”

    Well, something like that. I need to pull out the book.

  137. They’re space chickens- Sean
    Do you wish to discuss?- Dushegubs
    What is love?- Head Space Chicken

    I’m in a Disney movie!- Augustine

    Here, kitty kitty- Kate

    There are sooooo many amazing lines from all of the books!!

  138. I actually love the Dushegubs themselves. The way they are completely oblivious to how their tactics aren’t working and yet they keep trying. Plus, the “do you wish to discuss?” is hilarious. I’m just sad I don’t know anyone in real life who has read the books and I can’t use this phrase in real life!

    By the way thank you so much for the giveaway!

  139. I always adored Caldenia, but wondered about how she’d come to be in her current position with such a brilliantly ruthless mind. How didn’t she see it all coming, and navigate around it, you know? So I loved learning the truth of her past, her willing and deliberate sacrifice, and her devotion to her family.
    Also, all things Helen.

  140. I like the little moments, the little asides that make you go back and read them a second time.
    Orro explaining Christmas, the visiting vampire engineer being forced to make an awful gas burning engine, so very serious space chickens, Dina being forced to give up her “left” shoe.

  141. Helen giggled again, grabbed her mug, and hurled it at the wall. The mug shattered. I looked back. Helen’s seat was empty. The platter of bacon had vanished. Sean lost it and laughed.

  143. There are so many great lines and characters. Your series are my favorite. One scene that has been on my mind lately is the debate in “Sweep of the Heart”.
    Surkar: “Am I supposed to debate a fish?”
    First Scholar: “Xenophobia has never led anyone to a path of enlightenment”.

    I love First Scholar Thek.

  144. There are so many quotes I love, but the entire scene where Orro explains Christmas. It still makes laugh until I cry!

  145. There are soooo many scenes but, since we’re talking Dushegubs, I love the scene in Sweep of the Heart where Dina and Sean are relaxing alone at the end of the first competition day. We get to see how they live and work together, adjusting the inn layout, analyzing the competition and security threats, and casually dealing with the Dushegub’s escape attempt – so much going on, even in a quieter moment.

  146. I really like the Costco scene with Officer Marais wife. The monster gets vanished into the floor as soon as she goes for help. Probably gave the poor lady a complex.

  148. My favorite moment is when Dina and Sean are sleeping and Helen comes in to tell them that Officer Maria’s was about to go “middle evil” on Mrak.
    And September 23 is my birthday. I will be 78.

  150. In the very first Innkeeper book when Dina approaches Sean to get him to get off his fuzzy werewolf butt and take care of the creatures murdering dogs in the Avalon Subdivision, he says, “I think you may be crazy.”

    That moment still makes me laugh!

  151. “Beast growled. The undertone of her growl changed, gaining a vicious edge. Sean squinted at her. Beast’s long fur stood up like hackles on a cat. Claws slid from her feet. Her mouth gaped, wider and wider, as if her entire head had split in half. Four rows of fangs gleamed inside. “What the h…?” Sean backed away.”

    and the following paragraphs never, ever fail to make me chuckle.

  152. Donna “Costco Lady” Marais “Don’t mess with Texas”
    I can’t shop Costco or Sam’s without peering around the corner for aliens. And Sean’s “I love Buccee’s”. I always tell my reader, “Yeah everybody loves Buccee’s.”

  153. The fart gun is my favorite moment. It’s funny as it is, but also it made it possible to see a little bit of the old Sean, the cocky werewolf who “ma’am”ed Dina while warning her off.

  154. I need that! Just as it is!
    Although, really, I hate having to pick favorites. There’s Arland’s coffee experience. There’s Sean, Cookie and the fart machine. There’s Helen and the bacon and the interruption of the private times and yes, the ripper cushions. There’s Maud. Just Maud, being a badass. I haven’t even gotten to Orro or the space chickens or Beast treeing Sean.
    Do you wish to discuss? Because I could go on, and I *need* more yarn.

  155. Comment!!! A Dushegub project bag would seriously increase my street cred at Red Alder Fiber Festival, Fiber in the Forest, or Black Sheep Gathering. Favorite moment? There are so many! I still laugh out loud when Sean tells Orro he will shoot his eye out, so that may have to count as my favorite quote.

  156. There are so many good quotes, my favorite changes with my mood. But right now it’s:
    “You weren’t wrong,” Maud said. “But you weren’t wise.”

  157. “Then the scary old knight came and told me that if I challenged the boy, there would be ripper cushions.” Sweep of the Blade, Chapter 5 (approximately page 90 of the Kindle edition).

    This was really tough! There are so many great ones! Lots of poignant ones, inspirational ones, or even words to live by. But I went with a funny one that’s stuck in my head since I read it.

    Thanks so much for everything you all do!

  159. I absolutely adore the bit when kate, curran and dali make short work of their opponents in the arena, and jim is furious with them for making it obvious that they are fantastic fighters.
    Currans question, if he should catch the buffolp(bull?) thingy is absolutely hilarious. Kate is equally flabbergasted why her „sloppy“ handling of the muscle guy is not considered „not skilled“.
    I love this scene so much. They tried so hard to no be the absolue badasses they ate….

  160. I can only do audio books so this isn’t exact but:
    “He said, ‘there would be ripper-cushions’ and was I prepared for that. And I said I was so he said, ‘Proceed’ and I broke his arm.”

  161. Anytime Orro is involved! However, I felt so bad for him when he asked “What is the point of my existence?” , when his Chicken feast got ruined in Book 2.I also loved the part where Chef Adri visits Orro at the end of Sweep with me.

  162. Sweep in Peace Chapter 6: “Live. Join me or not, but live, gods damn you, because I can not stand the thought of you slowly aging here like some dusty fossil under glass. Take my hand and bring your sword. The universe is waiting.”

    I confess to muttering this to myself on slow, boring days at work…

    Thank-you for all the quotable magical moments house Andrews!

  163. Apparently my brain is too cooked to think of a specific quote, but Olazard holds a special place in my heart and well Vampire drunk on caffeine is just hilarious.

  164. I just love this quote about what Sean said about Dina, it’s so beautiful. “He said he’d met a girl with stardust on her robe, and when he looked into her eyes, he saw the universe looking back”

  165. “You want me to….” “Share,” I said. – Page 241, Magic Triumps. I love when Kate orders Saiman, Ghastek, and Luther to play nice together to figure out the yeddimurs. Even though she doesn’t like to admit to herself that she’s a leader and inspires people to come together as a team, it’s moments like this which show Kate’s own brand of leadership and team building haha.

  166. “Only birds?” I am currently listening to GA Sweep of the Blade and I love the scene where they are trying to provoke Maud and she verbally runs rings around them. She turns the heinous slurs back at them and they lose their cool, not her. That scene makes me snicker every time I reread it or relisten to it.

  168. “The second time was when he was three and very sick. She sat by his bed, held his hand, and swore to murder everyone in the room if he didn’t survive.”

    -Sweep of the Heart. 🙂

    Your books are excellent. Thank you for all of the time and care you put into them.

  170. I would love this tote, just as it is. 5 large Rubbermaid totes of yarn is apparently not enough.

    As for a favourite Innkeeper quote, there are so many. Having to choose right now, I’ll go with, “Yes, the princess you were expecting put on her armor and left to kill the dragon. So sorry.”

    Thank you!

  171. “Look, it can be fast, good, or cheap. You can have any two but never all three.”

    The above is just one of my favorite quotes from Inkeeper series….there are so many to choose from!

  172. Finding out that Caldenia is in her situation because of the love she had for her brother and his children and the choices she made because of it

    • I also wrote about that, and wrote, erased, rewrote the fact I read that just after I lost my own baby brother in a sudden accidental event.
      So I always cry on re listening.

  173. Entry
    ‘My future chef was an oversized hedgehog with a martyr complex’.

    just to share, the amazing short piece in sweep of the heart when authors take a character wanted for murder of her brother and in a short poignant few sentences turn the story around, with a base of love and courage.
    Take that Hugh! You needed a whole book.

    Caledonia answers “of course I came, he was my baby brother.”

  174. Especially liked when both Curran and Kate answered the question at the same time of why they were totally changing their minds about “laying low” in Wilmington was because of Conlan

  175. “Yes, we’re going to save them with a fart gun” 😂🫣 fart. One Fell Sweep was a hoot, do you wish to discuss? 👀😂

  178. My absolute favorite moment is with Maud on the space station. “That was her cue. Maud stood up, turned to Seveline and Onda, and said in Ancestor Vampiric, ‘Did you get all that or do you need me to translate it for you into your backwater gibberish?'” (page 77 of 81 ebook Sweep of the Blade)

    But so many across the series are seriously fun to come across.

  179. “Will you take this seriously? The future of an entire species is at stake.”
    “Yes, we’re going to save them with a fart gun.”
    – Sean and Dina exchange, One Fell Sweep

    I love this moment, can easily picture them running through Walmart!

  180. Never can have too many knitting bags or too much yarn. Love InnKeepers but my favourite saying is still from the very first books of yours I read way back when, ‘Here kitty, kitty, kitty’, got the t shirt.

  181. I love tote bags!

    One of my fave Innkeeper moments is when Helen gives Sunset the ornament in One Fell Sweep. I turn into a mess of emotions every time.

  182. “That is the nicest ‘Here are your dishonored dead, piss off and don’t come back’ letter I have ever heard,”

    Dina, Sweep in Peace

  185. I loved finding out that Mrs. Marais was the Costco lady from the first book! Everything weaves together so well 🙂

  186. Because Inn Keeper is my personal favorite IA series, I’ve listed a few.

    “I’m not interested in seizing any of Sean Evans’ days. I just want him to stop the dog murderer.”
    I just love this quote because you then have to explain the book.

    “My future chef was an oversized, hysterical hedgehog with a martyr complex.”
    We Orro and his theatrics. In particular I love this scene in graphic audio because of the magic they added by having a Gerard VA.

    “I don’t want him to be happy.” Lord Soren pounded his gauntleted fist into his other palm. “I want him to be an adult!”
    Lord Soren, no further explanation.

  187. I appreciate dry humor, so enjoy little moments such as Jack and Gaston’s introduction to the Gertrude Hunt “security team” in Sweep in Peace are a favourite for me, e.g. when Gaston unhinges his massive jaws to say “Well. This is a bit of a predicament. “

  188. My favorite moment is when Dina gives Orro the mango and he nomnomnoms so enthusiastically he says “Don’t see me.” I love the imagery and the phrasing. I also use the phrase often as well as “ripper cushions” 💕

    • O man! I was going to say the mango one too 🙂 I loved that scene and I use the ‘don’t see me’ on my husband sometimes!

  189. “He said he’d met a girl with stardust on her robe, and when he looked into her eyes, he saw the universe looking back.” is my favorite quote from Innkeeper, but “Ripper Cushions” is a close second.

  191. “We should tell your mother about the invasion.” Maud said. “Lady Ilemina would love this”. I look forward to hearing more about the wedding!

  192. “That mosquito would have qualified as air support.”

    Innkeeper is my comfort read. Thanks for all that you do for the Hoard.

  193. “Splendid,” I said. “All of us look forward to witnessing you honor your ancestors. The spirit of Olasard’s granddaughter is watching. No pressure.”

    Sweep of the Heart

    One of my favorites at the moment !
    For the bag, it would be Finish this project or no more books

  196. “I’m angry with you.” She spoke with an unfamiliar but cultured accent. “I don’t like to be angry, George. I work very diligently to avoid that emotion. You should leave.”

  197. So many good quotes. And now I need to do a reread.
    “I’ve never considered killing you.” “Aha.” “But now I’m tempted.” While talking to Sean 🤣
    Love the tote as it is. Describes me and my yarn stash perfectly- thanks for the opportunity to win it!

  198. Maud standing at the weding and talking in ancient vampire to that b*tch after all she did and said to her in that same language. (I would had paid to see her face….from a safe distance….far away…)

  199. My favorite innkeeper moment is when Beast went slightly feral and scared a grown werewolf off their property. 🤣 Poor Sean.

  200. That just made me snort-giggle. I still think Roman’s little critters are the cutest. I have the cup with his pets on it and LOOOOVE it. It made me smile even when I miserable with Covid 😊 I MIGHT have told my hunny if he tries to snitch it he may lose fingers lol

  201. Anything to do with Arland, Maud and Helen. They’re such an amazing family and I’m so happy that Helen found a place among the vampires

  202. Cookie negotiating with the muckrats and then in the shoe store. So very serious even when playing with the fart gun. ” YES from the genuine ass of an okarian nifrook!”

  203. My favorite Innkeeper moment was being charmed by the first time Dina struck the inn’s floor with her broom, getting settled in for a good fantasy, and being delightedly confounded shortly thereafter with a sci fi story instead. For whatever reason, that initial quirk has made this particular series my favorite.
    I am also favorite-ing Ilona’s Dushegub bag, exactly as it is. My yarn management needs serious help.

  205. The moment on the Vampire home world where Maud gives everything inside her, everything, to stop time and save Helen. Gets me every time.

  207. We traveled to from TN to MT to WY to CO back to TN this summer with an 8 yo and 4 yo and we listened to Innkeeper on graphic audio. My 8 year old is in love with the series and now will quote it at command. She laughs that beautiful kid laugh that is joyous to hear. She loves Orro and “little” Helen the most. She truly loved the kitchen scene when Helen was the Soup Chef and had to say “Yes, Chef real loud.”

  209. “You know what else chicks dig? Werewolves. ”

    I don’t know why, but that whole scene where Sean and Dina is running through Bahachar with a flock of murderous poultry on their tails always elicts a giggle or two.
    The wordplay with the mercenaries in Willmos’ shop really puts the icing on the cake ~

  210. The whole scene when Maud arrives late to get her mount for the hunt. The interactions with the Chatty Cathy of vampires. Approaching the savoks. Racing Attura to try and meet the hunt in time. The dragon. Helen. Ad-hal powers stopping time. Arland and Maud defeating the monster. Huge relief. That kiss.

    Sweep of the Blade, Chapter 17

  211. I loved the scene where Helen distracted by throwing the plate so she could abscond with platter of bacon. I always say I can’t be a vegetarian because bacon.

  213. I love it when Dina asked Gaston why he has so many outfits and he replied he grew up poor and was compensating.

  214. There are too many favorites to choose from, but for today I think I’ll go with when Officer Marais finally learned the truth. It gives me hope that one day I can also learn that magic is real, and wouldn’t that be a grand adventure?!

  216. Orro’s reaction to being told Donna Marais was at the inn and giving her husband a piece of her mind. “Bring ALL the donuts!”

    It was very hard to pick just one.

  220. “‘If you do well, I will give you cake,’ Ilemina said.
    Helen’s eyes lit up,’What kind of cake?’
    ‘The delicious kind,’Otubar told her”

    You guys do amazing dialogue. But my favorite is the dialogue with kids. Many authors of adult fiction don’t give kids personalities or singular voices. You treat the children in your books with the same respect you give the adult characters. As your child characters grow the voices grow, but still reflect the child they were. This interaction at the end of Sweep of the Blade always struck the right note with me showing Helen accepting Arlands family in the very easy way kids have when they decide they trust you.

  221. “Dina, we’re going to host sixty-one space chickens.”

    I gave up. “Yes.”

    “And they’re going to argue philosophy.”

    I love me some koo-kos!

  222. When the Hiru were finally free from their body suits, revealing their true forms, and the Draziri realized who they had been killing.

  223. George/Sweep in Peace: the arbitrator closed his mouth with a click, “I stand corrected”.

    I like the “finish the project or no more books”

  224. Anything to do with Helen and her knives but also because I’m a sucker for romance the moment of realisation of “In all the time I’d owned Gertrude Hunt, there’d been only one person besides me who could hold Beast on his lap.”

  226. my favorite quote is this one from book 5.

    “Nothing can ever be easy,” he said.
    “Nope. We can’t even just walk into a trap like normal people. We have to work really hard first.”

  227. We should get him a cape.
    -Sean about Orro’s dramatics.

    I have waaay too much fabric …

    I turn 70 tomorrow.

  228. My favorite Innkeeper moment is when Kosandion brings Caldenia’s niece and nephew to meet her. Actually that whole chapter makes me cry (but good tears), and especially when he tells her they know the past history and asks if she would like to meet them, and she just says, “yes”.

  229. Found one I forgot: Caldenia: “Elegance is never ostentatious, and there is nothing more bourgeois than covering everything in gold. It screams that one has too much money and too little taste, and it infuriates peasants.”

    • This one is on my list too!
      There’s someone particular that I think of when this quote runs through my mind – BOURGEOUIS

  230. After the very fraught punishment scene Orro trailing the head of the waterdragon away to the kitchen:”We are on a budget afterall…”

  235. I love Helen….

    The attack came with blinding speed. Helen dashed forward. Her dagger sliced the front of Arland’s thigh and she scuttled back around him, cutting across his calves. Arland let out a dramatic roar and fell to his knees. Helen leapt up and slit his throat. It was so fast and precise, she must’ve done it dozens of times. I hoped in practice. It had to be in practice. Arland collapsed on the ground, conveniently rolling onto his back. Helen put her foot on his chest, raised her dagger, and let out a vampire roar.

  237. I have too many favorite moments. but my all time favorite is Sean peeing on Dina’s trees. it literally makes me laugh out loud every time. my second favorite is when Dina and Maud are in the war room ogling Arland and he can totally hear them. y’all are just golden.

  238. I have so many favorite moments but Mt top quote is:

    “Then the scary old knight came and told me that if I challenged the boy, there would be ripper cushions.”

    Love Helen. ❤️

  239. Favorite? This is HARD. I feel like I need to go do a quick re-read. 🙂

    For some reason, I really like Dina revoking Sean’s welcome.

    Also — any time Arland reminds us of his humble state. Sean’s off-hand poetry. Orro’s epic melt downs.

    Ripper cushions. Love the ripper cushions.

  240. “This hamburger is unnatural.” – Sweep With Me

    The whole scene of Orro determinedly trying to make the Grand Burger and everyone trying to talk him out of it.

    This also leads to him watching a live filming of a cooking show and such chaos ensues.

  243. When Orro finds out it is Officer’s wife – arrived at the inn & they bring out a platter of donuts… died laughing because it is so true – much scarier than his Captain

  244. That’s seriously cute! I’d put in a quote but I already have a plethora of totes, so I’ll reduce the rush by one hehehe

  245. I absolutely love in Sweep of the Heart when Costco lady turns out to be Donna – Marais’ wife!

    I love that we were brought back to that moment and I just keep wondering was that always the plan or was it something that just came as the story progressed.

  247. 🤩 if international fans are allowed to enter, I want mine to say,

    “It’s a lovely day and we’re under siege. People are trying to murder us. Isn’t it marvelous?

  248. There is nothing better than Helen’s daughter and her ‘ripper cushions’!! I so love that quote! Perfection!!❤️

  249. Did you get all that or do you need me to translate it for you into your backwater gibberish?

    Oh the disdain!!

    I’m wearing my dushegub shirt right now… Do you wish to discuss?

    Finish this novel or no more books 😱

  250. I really enjoyed the chapter recaps on Sweep of the Heart. Very Lady Whistledown.
    Also, anything Orro. I love his dramatics.

  251. “Your skulls are soft. Your brains are delicious. We are coming.” Leader of the Murder Beaks to their expelled candidate, Pivor/Cumbr Adgi ar’Muterzen, in “Sweep of the Heart”

  253. My favorite is…. There would be ripper cushions.

    I sat that all the time, and people just look at me. lol … If you know you know.

  255. …But know that there will never be another one like you for me and one like me for you. We both waited years so we could meet.

    most romantic thing i ever read

  256. “ he wore the “grant me patience” expression instantly recognizable by any adult child who had to endure lectures on the wrongfulness of their life choices.” from Sweep With Me.

    I too sit through lectures on my life choices as an adult!

  257. I have many favorite innkeeper moments, but one of my favorite (under-rated) Caldenia moments is when Dina and her are discussing rescuing Maud: “Does everyone have an interstellar ship except us?”. “You should get one.” She licked jam from the corner of her mouth. “We do need to keep up with the Jones, my dear” One Fell Sweep

  258. Oooh, this would go very well with the Green Dushegub tote bag I ordered through the store.

    Favourite Innkeeper quote:

    From when Caldenia visited Dina after the loss of her baby Inn in One Fell Sweep.

    “You and I have an agreement. I expect you to honor it. Get up now. You don’t want to spend your life like a lump of wood. The scaled creature made a totem of you and he keeps putting different medicines on it and dancing around it. It is getting annoying. Get up, dear. We do not let our enemies win. We claw their hearts out and devour them. You have work to do.”

  259. Maud stood up, turned to Seveline and Onda, and said in Ancestor Vampiric, “Did you get all that or do you need me to translate it for you into your backwater gibberish?”

    Love that part.

  260. While I love the Innkeeper series, my favorite quote is from the Edge. “If the sky could dream, it would dream of dragons.” Second place “here kitty, kitty, kitty.”

  261. I also really like this one since we’re talking about the Dushegubs.

    “Proposition. You stop interfering or we kill you and break your house-tree. Do you want to discuss?”
    This was not my first Dushegub rodeo. “You follow rules, or we kill all of you, go to your planet, and kill your saplings with fire.”
    The leader creaked, rocking side to side. “Fallacy: you do not leave your tree. You cannot go to our planet. Submit or we kill you. Do you want to discuss?”
    “I will kill you here. He will go to your planet.” I pointed at Sean.

  262. “I was going to Costco, possibly the safest place I could be, in a crowd of people.”

    Ad libbed, my apologies, but I don’t have my book in front of me. It’s my favourite as it really shows how much Dina’s life and perception of it is about to change, even with being used to Innkeeper weirdness.

  263. I love Caldenia manipulating Surkir (sorry if I didn’t spell his name correctly) into challenging her nephew. She’s my idol.

  264. The entire screen with Arland and Helen regarding ripper cushions.

    Mauds response

    That is some fine parenting Lord Marshal.

  266. Do you wish to discuss? is one of my favorites.
    Ripper cushions.
    Officer Maria’s wife being the Costco lady.
    So, so many!

  267. I’m not sure I can pick one favorite line. But I love the little quips
    “technically they’re not even avian”

  270. “… If you kill him, do save me his liver. Werewolf liver is a very tender delicacy.” Caldenia – Clean Sweep.

  271. “Get the guns, we’re going to Walmart”.

    Innkeeper is chock full of funny, brilliant and emotional moments. Can’t pick one, so went with my favorite Edge line.

  272. “He was about to debate a space fish, and their discussion would be presided over by a space chicken. This was not a trial appropriate to his stature.” I always laugh outloud when I read those lines.

  274. My favorite will always be Kate…

    Even though they lived in a monstrous world, they did not become such

  277. “I realize now why I have never fallen in love. I’m entirely too sane for that nonsense.”
    Karat to Maud & Arland: Sweep of the blade

  278. I love Linus saying Vicky, Baby from Ruby Fever and when Arabella is being tested Does it have to be math ? in Wildfire.

    • the best is the imagery of her in beast form counting her fingers and toes and that’s when they cut off the testing .

  279. Aside from anything involving Orro, my favorite innkeeper moment is Cyanide’s date with Kosandion in Sweep of the Heart. I love when she hops onto Dina’s lap and announces, “I require attentions. All of them.”

    Sweep of the Heart was full of so many hilarious moments, between the candidate delegations, First Scholar Thek, Marais’ wife showing up, and the Barsas.

  280. That moment when Gaston is walking out into the arena in the last book to act as announcer and Dina has the walkway rise up to meet him. I don’t see images very often as I read, but the awe from that moment has always stuck with me.

  281. I love when Arland tells Helen “You are not half and half but both and whole” (or something like that). What a wonderful way to frame identity as gestalt – and teach a child that she is loved just the way she is. Very Mr. Rogers.

  283. About fifteen minutes into the drive, Conlan gave up singing the sad song of his people and fell asleep.

  284. one of my all-time favorite IA scenes is in Kate Daniels, when Kate is negotiating with Bran for the maps and they decide that whoever reaches them first wins.
    ““On three. One,” he said, bending forward like a runner. “Two.” He lunged for the maps. I grabbed the chair and hit him with it. He went down. I hit him again to make sure he stayed that way, stepped over him, and picked up the maps. “I win.” ”

    the double tap does me in every time 😂

  285. My favorite quote is, “Do you wish to discuss?” My bestie and I ask each other that all the time!

  286. “Yes, the princess you were expecting put on her armor and left to kill the dragon. So sorry.”

    So hard to pick though….

    My vice is hand embroidery thread. Would love pdf file of artwork to use as pattern to embroider my own tote. Did a screen capture of kolovershi (sp?) – turned out cute embroidered.

  288. “Then you will bring this Grand Burger to me and I shall make it. You will taste it and you will weep, for it will be the best Grand Burger to ever grace a human mouth”- Orro

    “We should get him a cape.” – Sean

    Sweep with me p25

    If you can believe it, I have family like Orro. I once bought my nephew a chef’s hat 🧑‍🍳

  289. “Matilda Rose, daughter of Gerard, daughter of Helen, Lady and Heir of Demille, Maven of House Krahr.”
    The hallway ended, and they strode into the banquet hall. The entirety of the room was watching them.
    “Maud the Red, the Sariv, the Learned One.”
    They were approaching the table where Onda and Seveline sat. Both women were staring daggers at her.
    “Kill count of sixty and eight.”
    A muscle in Seveline’s face perked. That’s right, precious. I’m coming for you.

  290. Any time Caldenia opens her mouth, but I think I got a bit teary when we discovered all she did for her nephew and met his siblings.
    The death of Dina’s parents inn, clinging to her one last time for comfort while giving everything to save her.
    And to prove that I DON’T only like the gut wrenching bits, Sean’s conversation with his parents over the phone when he found out he was a Space Werewolf.

  291. Got to go with a classic:

    It’s not funny. I’ve got a naked drunk vampire running around in my orchard.

  292. “I’m getting ripper cushions,” Helen told him. Arland turned to Maud, (Maud tells him what happened) “Did you win?” Arland asked. Helen nodded. “All is well then. If you go through life never doing anything deserving repercussions, you’ll never know victory. Helen grinned. “That is some fine parenting, Lord Marshal.” Maud loaded enough sarcasm into her tone to sink a space cruiser.
    “I try,” Arland said.

  293. I love getting to know Arland better and his relationship with Maud: “I know that you don’t require my protection, my lady. If I thought you did, I wouldn’t have extended the invitation. I’m not looking for a maiden to save. I’m looking for a partner.”

    This is right after Helen faces her “ripper cushions.” Meanwhile, back at the inn, we have Orro and space chickens. So much wonderfulness!

  294. “Keep playing,” Phillip said, his voice upbeat. “Keep playing. Faculty, continue to project. Everyone is doing spectacularly. I’m truly privileged to be working with such a talented group.” – Magic Triumphs

    I do read Innkeeper, but this KD quote makes me lol every time. Academic satire never fails to crack me up, possibly because I worked for and with a university department for several years.

  296. That moment when Orro is comforted and enraptured by the taste of the mango, then feels embarrassed, and says “Don’t see me”, I love that quote and moment, there’s something so precious about it to me. When something tastes that good and is that comforting that we lose ourselves unselfconsciously in it like he did. I also think of how that moment probably was difficult and nice for Sean to witness, a slice of life moment just out of his weary reach. I love that Dina brought Orro that comfort in that tough moment, plus I personally love mangos lol :).

  297. “The oomboles are bright and colorful, and a certain segment of the population thinks it would be funny if you married a fish.”

    Makes me chuckle every time. What else did Kosandion expect?

  298. One Fell Sweep:
    “Hey,” he said. He didn’t jump, even though I just spoke to him from seemingly thin air.
    “Do you need a hand with all of that equipment?”
    “Oh sure, he totally needs your help with his equipment,” Maud whispered.

    Cracks me up every time. It’s the first time we see a glimpse of Maud’s humour, plus some sisterly interaction that’s fun.

  299. There are great scenes and quotes scattered throughout the entire Innkeeper series.

    But the first one that leaps into my mind is the scene in One Fell Sweep where Arland invites himself to the inn because he is “stressed” and in the process slanders Lord Soren in the most appalling fashion: “His grizzled exterior hides a gentle heart.”

    If I won, I would want a tote bag that said “Finish this project or no more coffee.”

  300. “Behind her, two sislafs in formal robes dragged a body across the floor, realized they were on camera, reversed course and dragged it out of view.”

    Sweep of the Heart

  301. “Like a primitive savage who sets out to tame the wilderness armed with nothing but a knife and his indomitable will, I will persevere. I will wrestle victory from the greedy jaws of defeat. I shall rise like a bird of prey upon the current of the wind, my talons raised for the kill, and I shall strike true.” Orro, my favorite chef!

  303. Innkeeper has so many great moments. I really enjoyed Orro’s dramatics, especially in the graphic audio editions.

  304. Possibly my favorite in the whole series. Sean teaching aliens that Lethal Weapon style movies are documentaries:
    “Chef wants to know if this is your captain and if your badge is on the line,” Droplet asked Marais. I had tried to explain the difference between film and reality to Orro, but he stubbornly refused to acknowledge it. It didn’t help that Sean kept showing him buddy cop movies and calling them “Angry Captain Documentaries.” “She’s my spouse,” Marais said. Droplet’s fur stood on end. She ran to the kitchen, calling out, “It’s his wife! Bring all the doughnuts!”

  305. Fear not the darkness. Fear not the night. You are not forsaken. We remember you.

    This quote from Sweep in Peace gets me every time. We lost my mother in law a couple years ago, and she was such a kind and loving person and we miss her so much. I re-read the book after we lost her, and the entire scene with the Oteokars ceremony, of remembering that we’re alive, and honoring those that passed, was healing for me in a difficult time.

  306. I love Orro. One of my favorite scenes is when Orro goes to see his favorite cooking show live by Emril and gets disappointed with the reality of the show.

  309. “I didn’t have all the relevant information. Had I known you had a haunted house, a magic broom, and a devil dog on your side, my initial response would’ve been different.”
    Sean in Clean Sweep, dealing with his introduction to Dina’s world. It sounds at first like he’s making excuses, but he’s actually reframing his entire worldview.

  310. The first time ‘look at how manly and terrifying and scary I am’ Werewolf Sean meets Beasts’ true form.

    …. and now I think I know what my next reread will be.

  311. ‘There will be Ripper-cushions!

    Oh so many to choose from, it’s hard to pick.
    ‘If the sky could dream, it would dream of dragons’
    I have lots of remorse at not ordering a Dushegub shirt
    So this would be awesome!
    Thank you

  312. Just reading KD Magic strikes and in the arena, after Curran kills the ware buffalo by tripping it and giving it a push that breaks its neck. Kate kills hers by bashing the sword man’s head with hers and Dali curse works all in less than 5 minutes, they return to have Jim he’ll at them “What part of sloppy and barely win did youb not understand? “, Curran replies “I only tripped him, how was I to know need call and break his neck? And Kate thinks “I bashed mine with my head! I didn’t even draw my sword! How now sloppy could I get? “.

  314. So many choices …”but the erhissa knows the world doesn’t revolve around vampires; it doesn’t care what vampires think.”

  315. Anything with Caldenia being Caldenia is always fun! Like this gem from Clean Sweep:

    Caldenia descended down the stairs and saw him. “Ooo. Planning a kinky morning?”

    “No, just dealing with a pesky intruder.”

    “Oh well. If you kill him, do save me his liver. Werewolf liver is a very tender delicacy.” She licked her lips. “Especially when sautéed in butter.”

    “What the hell…?” Sean growled.

    “I’ll keep that in mind.”

    Caldenia walked past me to the kitchen, took a bag of Funyuns off the counter, then headed back upstairs.

  316. One of the best lines ever: “He said met a girl with Stardust on her robe and when he looked into her eyes, he saw the universe looking back.”

    …y’all if he doesn’t say stuff like this to me, I don’t want him!

  320. I don’t usually post, but I can’t resist the opportunity for the dushegub knitting bag. (I’ve probably achieved SABLE-Stash Acquisition Beyond Life Expectancy).

    I’m terrible at picking favourites, and many of mine have been mentioned. I’ll narrow down my first thought (Sweep of the Blade) to one of my favourite scenes I don’t think has been mentioned:
    “I don’t know a room suitable to a woman I asked to marry me and who replied with ‘maybe.” ….
    “ This will make things harder,” she said.
    “Are you unfit for the challenge?”

  321. “You’re more like a crazy aunt who only gets called when somebody needs bailing out of Jail,” said Derek to Kate when Kate told Julie that she (Kate) was more like a substitute mom.
    That is my favorite line out of all of the books!
    Location 1697 of Magic Burns.

  322. I just chuckled a lot when Dina was talking to Sean about his “marking of his territory” and her trees….
    I live in the country and the been in my life are always “ marking” something
    It just adds to the richness and realness of the characters.
    I love everything House Andrews writes
    I quilt, so I would adore that tote with the word fabric on it instead of yarn, too cute!!

  325. Regarding the sweepstakes, I do wish to discuss. Among the many, many quotes I love in all your books, my favorite Innkeeper quote is “It’s his wife. Bring all the donuts!”

    That one almost made me spit out my coffee, and I don’t waste coffee. Which, of course, is why, were I to win the bag, instead of yarn I would put in the word coffee.

    That said, however this turns out, thank you so much for the hours of enjoyment I’ve had reading your amazing books, stories, and blog.

  326. Rippercushions, always. Whenever I need smile I think of that scene. somewhere in my brain, I hope for Innkeeper to continue and see Helen growing up and being an amazing bad ass leader. BDH forever!

  327. My daughter’s name is Helen, so anything Helen does in the books! Mine is feisty and adventurous too!

  328. I love Helen and Maud. “Then the scary old knight came and told me that if I challenged the boy, there would be ripper cushions.”

  329. Oh so many to choose from as so many amazing characters! But I think my favourite was from One Fell Sweep when Dina was trapped in her body and the family was mourning and trying to carry on and Helen asked if they would still have Christmas.

    “Yes”, Sean said. “We will still have Christmas. It’s important to her. We will kill every Draziri until there is nothing left but blood and bodies. And then we’ll have Christmas.”
    The darkness around me grew a little thinner.

    I so love the Sean/Dina dynamic and this quote beautifully encapsulates their love for each other, how they support each other -and Sean’s werewolf side!

  330. “Matilda Rose, daughter of Gerard, daughter of Helen, Lady and Heir of Demille, Maven of House Krahr. Maud the Red, the Sariv, the Learned One. Kill count of sixty and eight.”

    I just love imagining the look on Seveline’s face when she hears Maud’s kill count is higher than her measly 57.

    My other favorite is when Arland figures out that Maud turned down being a knight because of the rule against fraternization between knights separated by three ranks or more. Frankly, I want to know if we can clone Arland. He embodies what is best about strong men – they can fight and be equally tender when needed—that and how he thinks of Helen as his daughter practically from the beginning. The world outside that of the Innkeepers could use a heck of a lot more Arlands.

  331. What a project fun bag!

    I have too many moments I love, but one is in Sweep of the Heart, when Dina takes Kosandion and Nycati to Adira’s throne room. I like how Dina turned the tables on Nycati and then also the peaceful feeling of the rest of that scene.

    (Also, I am truly a part of the Book Devouring Horde because if House Andrews is ever moved to write about the Drifen, I will gladly consume the book(s)! I’m always so curious about Adira and those worlds.)

  333. In One Fell Sweep, when Helen gave the Hiru her Christmas ornament.

    In Sweep of the Heart, the (musical) “What is love?” moment between Sean and Tony. I loved that part in the unabridged audio book but I don’t think they were able to incorporate it in the GA version.

  334. Great tote bag !❤️ I hope you could rest after dragoncon 😊
    I think one of my favourites scene is Maud telling Arland’s mother why she is still hesitant to marry. I love Illemina no nonsense attitude ❤️

  335. The Innkeeper Chronicles were my gateway to Ilona Andrews and there are so many wonderful scenes that I read again and again! Right now I’m re-reading Sweep of the Heart…the scene late at night in the Ocean Dining Room when the Muterzen pirate cruiser attacks. I can see it in my head. Dina’s void field. Droplet on the table like an electrocuted squirrel while Orro waves a languid hand and goes back to sleep. Sean using the inn to throw himself at the cruiser. Cookie giving a too-late warning as parts of the cruiser sink into the Kolinda ocean. Tony striding in quoting Star Wars. Dina and Sean’s interaction at the end. I’m always smiling as I read it all!

  336. My favourite all time quote is from Burn for Me. I love Mad Rogan.

    “Yes, I’m a hermit. Mostly I brood,” Mad Rogan said. “Also, I’m very good at wallowing in self-pity. I spend my days steeped in melancholy, looking out the window. Occasionally a single tear quietly rolls down my cheek.”

  337. my favorite scene is, wenn Dina puts George on the problematic guest list, so no innkeeper will let him stay. so he has no choice but to stay at Gertrude hunt for a horrible high price.

  338. I suggest you give up now. According to my research in a vampire-werewolf love triangle, the vampire always gers the girl 🤣

  339. Decided to go with favorite moment instead of trying to narrow it down to a specific quote. In the Innkeeper books, I really enjoy all of Caldenia’s scenes. She is so enjoyable with her comments and observations. And her recollection of her brother’s death was especially memorable and emotional.
    There is one other scene, from your non Innkeeper books, that really stands out, and is an all time favorite of mine. It’s when Nevada meets Sergeant Teddy, and he senses just how down she’s feeling and gives her a hug. Love that scene.
    Thank you for writing such enjoyable and entertaining books, full of great characters.

  340. I love when they go to watch the recording of the cooking show. From such joy and excitement to deep betrayal and disappointment. It is one of my all time favourites of any series.

  341. “Follow me,” Linus ordered. “and cheer up. We’re about to embark on a killing spree accompanied by massive property damage. Try and have fun.”
    Linus Duncan, Sapphire Flames

    This is my favourite quote and when I saw this competition it was the first one I thought of.

  342. The Consort is merciful and kind to a fault,” Keelan said.
    The two of them stared at each other for half a second.
    “I’m sure he is,” Jushur said.
    This cracked me up so much but I couldn’t share it with anyone because no one around me had read the whole Kate Daniels series plus the Wilmington years.

  343. In the first book in the series, Clean Sweep, I really like the vampires in ‘stealth mode’. I live in Dublin (Ireland) city centre. You will often see locals in shorts and T-shirts while the tourists are freezing their rear ends off in full length duck down or wool coats. It makes me laugh to myself when I think of them as alien vampires.

  346. Love that idea got the bag.
    re fav quote. While
    “Fire!” is up there, for me it’s all about the cushions….

    “Then the scary old knight came and told me that if I challenged the boy, there would be ripper cushions.”

    😆😆😆

  347. “I used to finesse my husband, I won’t do that again.”

    as someone who’s sworn a similar vow, this made me relate to Maud so very much. Can’t wait for the wedding!

  348. My favorite quote has to be Helen, “I’m getting ripper cushions”. I liked it so much I requested it on a tote bag in last years merch. I adore Innkeeper and tote bags.

  349. The wonderfully perfect moment in Sweep of the Blade where Lord Soren informs Maud that yes Lady Ilemina knows she turned down Armands proposal and commented CANT WAIT TO MEET HER.

  350. Hi I have so many favourites from your books but “here kitty kitty “ is one that still makes me chuckle and Currans comment to Jim in the arena that it wasn’t his fault the guy couldn’t fall properly 😂😂😂

  351. “Did you know that smoking meat with Dushegub logs gives the flesh a unique flavor? I just found out. This is very exciting. I couldn’t help but notice you have five on the lawn. They must have done something to warrant a rigorous pruning.” — Sweep of the Heart

  352. I love a quote that’s actually in both Innkeeper and KD – “often wrong but never in doubt”. I say it at work all the time about people that wrongly barrel ahead. It’s so perfect.

  353. “I attempted to shave and the faucet sprayed me with water,” George reported when I finished. “Icy water. It’s been three, no four days since I was able to take a hot shower. No, maybe three…”

    it’s a bit long for a “quote” but this was one of my favourite scenes

  354. I love the space chickens and Orro, but Dina and Sean falling in love is just so sweet. Innkeeper is my comfort read when everything is too much.

  357. “Their first option is murder, their second option is murder and if that fails they go straight to murder”

  358. Orro surged to his feet and roared, “You are a fraud!”
    Oh my God.
    Sean grabbed him, trying to pull him back into his seat, but Orro threw him off. “You are no chef! That poultry is a lie!”

    this comes to mind, every time I put any poultry in to cook. I am heard to murmur “you are a fraud” and giggle.

  359. Loved reading your posts! As one of those that gets this post a day later—I loved Conlan’s chatter as a toddler: “ Nat-ned! “ Maybe not appropriate for merch but so funny especially when Curran loses it. Every time I re-read any of the series I am happily transported to the wonderful worlds you have created. Thank you!

  360. There will be ripper cushions.
    This is one of my favorite quotes. There are too many to choose from.
    Thanks for the giveaway.

  361. One Fell Sweep in my favorite, and I knew I’m going to love it from the very beginning of it, when Dina and Sean talk in the middle of the night. I just love their relationship <3

    Sean smiled.
    Ugh. I turned around. “Come inside.”
    “You sure?” He was grinning now. “People might get the wrong idea.”
    “Just come inside,” I growled.

    I'm not sure it was posted correctly (as a comment and not a replay) the last time so posting again, sorry.

  362. There are so many it’s hard to choose. Caldenia has such great quotes, but this one made me laugh out loud:

    Sean: “You know what else chicks dig?”
    Dina: “Subatomic vaporizers?”

    That snark is delicious!

  364. My favourite is: “That’s what marriage was, at the core – the right to spend as much time with someone you loved as they were willing to give.”

    It was such a different perspective on marriage that it made me re-evaluate my relationship then.

    (Spoiler alert: I got a divorce)

  365. Caldenia was worldly, wise, and fashionably weary of life. Despite her detached air, she had no intentions of going gently into that good night and had gone to a great length to make sure she wouldn’t pass on any time soon.

    I would love to read Calsenia’s entire back story.

  367. My kids happened to be in the car when I was listening to the most recent Innkeeper and we all still will randomly shout out “It’s his wife! Bring all the doughnuts!” Then we promptly all give in to a fit of the giggles. Are there better lines, absolutely. However this line will always be my favorite now because of my kids’ giggles.

  368. “Lady Maud!” Konstana pointed her sword at Maud. “Your mongrel child broke my son’s arm.”
    Oh. That.
    “I wonder if you would be so kind as to demonstrate to me how she did it.” Konstana bared her fangs.

    …

    “You asked me how my daughter did it,” Maud said. “She did it just like this.”
    She hit the elbow. The elbow capsule popped with a loud crack as the sheath around the joint tore. Konstana cried out. The women around them winced and made sucking noises.
    “Exactly like I taught her.” Maud let go and stepped away.

    I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve re-read Sweep of the Blade. This scene always cracks me up!

  369. Easily Arland getting drunk on coffee, George having his water difficulties until him and Dina called truce and how Dina is a badass strong innkeeper who can take care of a threat in a supermarket away from the inn.

  370. Vampire worldview, condensed into three sentences: If it’s not food or a pet, kill it, because it might be poisonous.

    Sweep of the Blade

    • And I forgot to tell you that I would love your tote bag so much with “fabric” being my overflowing stash.

  372. Finish this history or no more dead tree books!

    The whole scene, but this moment in particular.

    The First Scholar sighed. “Let me save you the trouble. Wind, time, self, light, youth, fire. Shall I continue?” The sphinx stared at him, mute. A few seconds passed.

    “How?” the sphinx managed finally.

    “You’re obviously going through Bartran’s Guide to the Questions of an Inquisitive Mind and the Nature of Existence.” The First Scholar turned to his students and waved the stick. “Note this moment.”

    • I cannot believe I forgot. “Hey Dad? Does the word Auul ring a bell?”

      It’s actually my favorite moment in any of your books*, and I blanked on it while answering. Stupid ADHD memory.
      ___
      *although my favorite overall series is almost always HL. Except for those days when it’s KD or Innkeeper.

  373. there are so many to choose from, but I think my favorite is “here kitty, kitty” from the first Kate Daniels book

  374. I have too many favorites, but thought this was fitting. 🙂

    “Dushegubs are calculating, homicidal, moving trees that feed on animal life. They know that other creatures have emotions and what those emotions are, and they don’t care. Their first option is murder, their second option is murder, and if that fails, they go straight to murder.”

    “Well, at least they have their priorities straight.”

  377. There’s so many! How can I choose only one??? lol

    I opened my eyes really wide and fluttered my eyelashes at him. “I’m sorry, I must’ve missed your coronation ceremony. Silly me.”

  378. Fabulous idea. My favorite moment was when Dina realized that Sean was behind the armor of the merchants’ fighter and that she needed to save him. The realization galvanized her and made her dig her heels in.

  380. Good morning, Ilona do you know about Austin creative reuse. It doesn’t sound like you go to Austin very often. But in East Austin there is a craft and every kind you can imagine recycling place called Austin Creative Reuse. I realize a lot of the yarn you buy is upper crust, but you never know what you’re gonna find, and Most of the yarn is a dollar to two dollars a skein! And there’s tons of it. they recently had a sale they had so much. You might check it out.

  381. My all-time favourite moment is the ferret heist from Hidden Legacy. I’ve reread this books many times and this scene nevers fails to make me laugh. Especially, Rogan’s and Augustine’s reaction.

    And favourite quote… for some reason it’s “she looked left, she looked right, she looked confused” from Blood Heir. Love it.

  383. It’s not easy, because the Innkeeper series is full of wonderful moments.

    I really love the moment, when Erast, the scribe, talks to Maude, watches the first revenge killings with her and the following conversation:

    “How many are there?” Erast asked.
    “I don’t know,” she answered. “I never counted.”
    “Then perhaps we should do so,” he said.

    Second best moments are everything related to Orro. I really, really love Orro.

    I bought some items of the shop, but for lack of money had to prioritise. Now I’m missing everything I didn’t buy, for I forever lost the chance to have it. Sigh.

    (And on the slight chance I might win a tote bag, the word “books” would fit in perfectly.)

  385. In Sweep of the Heart when Prysen Ol is in the medward after the assassination attempt and Klook calls Dina and asks if he is ok. And then when Dina asks if the First Scholar wants to see him and the very dignified space chicken SHOVES Klook out of the way to get to the screen. It cracks me up every time to picture the First Scholar do something so ridiculous.

  386. My favorite innkeeper scene is always when Oreo describes a Christmas Story and Sean is laughing his tushie off.

    “I suppose small Helen could substitute for a male.” Orro said thoughtfully. “I’m sure we can get her a proper gun.””We can’t” Sean managed between gulps of laughter. “She’ll put her eye out”. “That does seem to be a prevalent concern among parents,” Orro said.

  387. “Vampire worldview, condensed into three sentences: If it’s not food or a pet, kill it, because it might be poisonous” – Sweep of the Blade

  390. I have so many favorite quotes and moments, but here’s a small one that always makes me giggle: “You blackmailed me. You are not invited for these theoretical fried tomatoes.”

  393. My favorite Innkeeper bit is Orro’s quest to make the perfect fast food cheeseburger and how hard it was for him

  394. I still love it when Helen says, “I have ripper cushions.” On Graphic Audio, it’s even cuter.

    If I were to win, the yarn comment fits perfectly. After all, collecting yarn is an additional hobby that works well with knitting. 😉

  396. My favorite Innkeeper moment was basically all of Sweep of the Blade. Seeing Maud, who had gone through so much for Helen, finally come in to her own and be seen was really wonderful.

  397. Quote from One Fell Sweep that was on my white board at work until I retired:
    Yes, the princess you were expecting put on her armour and left to kill the dragon. So sorry.

  398. Omg…I so want one with books! I swear sometimes book hunting is better than reading…wait, no, wait no…reading is better lol

  400. Write us more kate or no more projects
    Do you Wish to discuss

    It’s fun entering this contest but that sounds so mean!
    We love everything you do. Thank you for the joy❤️

  401. Il love the “Ripper Cushions”moment and “besieged by murderous poultry” from Innkeeper.
    But I burst of laughing over :

    Old Barrett had a Farm
    E i e i o
    And on his Farm he had some cows
    E i e i o
    With a paw print here
    And a paw print there
    Here a paw print, there a paw print
    Everywhere a paw print
    Old Barrett had a Farm
    E i e i o
    And on his Farm he had some vampires
    E i e i o…

    I just can’t help having the tune in my head each time 😀
    Thnak you for aaaall the excellent lines in your books. Waiting with batted breath for the nex inkeeper in french ^^ And if I win, I would go for “finish this novel or no more books” :p

  402. “ It’s being handled. Your involvement isn’t necessary. You’re free to continue on your serial urination spree.”
    It makes me giggle every time

  403. classic

    We are cutting our tree stand this winter…I want to replant dushegubs…It would help with the illegal hunting.

  404. I do read Innkeeper, but my favorite quote is Kate meeting Curran for the first time.”Here kitty kitty kitty at Unicorn Lane.

  405. Feed us more Kate, Curren , Derek, Julie , and Hugh or suffer ripper cushions
    Do you Wish to discuss?

  406. I love the bag, but have so many for my yarn! I wanted to say I love the granny squares in the picture. And the captions are great! I am trying to use a lot of my stash on little projects, but it’s hard not to buy more yarn.

  407. My favorite is when Arland had coffee and ran naked through the orchard. I love that coffee is like drinking too many margaritas to vampires.

  408. Feed is more Kate, Curren , Derek , Julie and Hugh or suffer “ ripper-cushions”
    Do you wish to discuss?

    In my Christopher voice , “ this is so fun!”

  409. Soooo many good quotes or scenes to choose from! Ahhh! I want to read them all over again! One of my favorites is when Arland drinks coffee and gets wild! 😜

  410. “Here kitty, kitty” for sure!!! So snarky, confident, and was a perfect way to showcase Kate’s personality.

  411. “Sentient beings are spectacular liars. We are gifted with an unparalleled ability to deny things that make our life unpleasant. We even pretend death isn’t a certainty, because contemplating our own mortality drives us mad.”

  412. I’m about to leave home for a month for RV maintenance and repair. I have piles of yarn all around me and another bag would be mahvelous! (a la Billy Crystal)
    You know there are too many good quotes to narrow it down to just one, but since you insist…
    “Yes, the princess you were expecting put on her armor and left to kill the dragon. So sorry.”

  413. I haven’t read the innkeepers so I’m going to have to do Kate. Here kitty, kitty, kitty. Still one of my favorite quotes ever.

  414. Not entering for the tote, although it’s adorable, but I wanted to say the guy in the romantic photo (is it Fabio?) got it so right! What could be more loving?

  415. Thank you for the giveaway! One of my favorite scenes in the Innkeeper books is when Dina moves the patio around when Sean is wanting to build the fire pit. Makes me snicker every time

  419. “Did you win?”
    Helen nodded.
    “All is well, then. If you go through life never doing anything deserving any repercussions, you’ll never know victory.”
    “That is some fine parenting, Lord Marshall.”

    Love this quote, and love it on Graphic Audio!

  420. This conversation between Maud and Helen has always rang so true in my heart. But I think I’ll use this part for the quote.

    “It’s impossible to stop change,” Maud said. “It’s the nature of life. Those who refuse to adapt will eventually die out. But before they do, they will get nasty. They might even hate you.”

  423. I have a couple of favorites from the most recent Sweep.
    “I dont need a new job, I just want people to stop making the one I have more difficult.”
    And
    “Life is stumbling from one catastrophe to another.”
    With honorable mention to any reference to “jazz fins” 😀

  424. She placed the seven slices around the cubes. The eighth was a hair too thick. She pondered it.
    The tachi pondered it with her.
    Better safe than sorry. She reached for another kora.

  425. One of my favorite quotes is Helen’s from Sweep of the Blade:

    “… I asked if the boy would get repercushions if he fought me, and the knight said yes, and I said I was okay with it.”

    Love her spunk!

  426. Entering the tote giveaway!(Thank you by the way) Finish this project of no more chocolate.

    My favorite quote, is the dushegub, where they always propose and then threaten to eliminate you if the other party does not agree. “Do you wish to discuss?”

  427. The quote that sold me on HA (I started with Inkeeper and then moved on to devour Kate Daniels and the rest) is

    “‘Let’s take down the gold leaf’ Caldenia said. ‘Elegance is never ostentatious and there is nothing more bourgeois than covering everything in gold. It screams that one has too much money and too little taste and it infuriates the peasants.'”

    I still laugh when I read this line

  428. My favorite moment is moving the earth to stop the ants. Idky but it just tickles me everytime I read it.

  431. Hi! My favorite innkeeper quote is “being an innkeeper meant walking a fine line between courtesy and tyranny.”

  432. My favorite Innkeeper book is One Fell Sweep. I love Maude!

    My favorite line from the book is “Yes, the princess you were expecting put on her armor and left to kill the dragon. So sorry.”

  433. Trying to picture Caldenia gardening tomatoes so that she can get the neighborhood gossip makes me giggle.

  434. My favourite part is in the first book when Sean learns what an inn is and what an innkeeper can do 😊

  435. So many great scenes, especially Orro’s dramatics. I think my favorite quote is not related to him but rather is…

    “Yes, the princess you were expecting put on her armor and left to kill the dragon. So sorry.”

  437. I quote this very often with my best friend: “It’s your duty as my best friend to be outraged with me.” And he responds: “I’m outraged!” He’s not a big reader, but he indulges me.

    Very excited for whoever wins the tote!

  440. Anything Orro. I love the Mango scene, but really, anything with our giant hedgehog-like chef.
    Example A:
    Orro stalked out of the kitchen and grabbed the head with his long claws.
    “Please don’t tell me you’re going to cook that,” I said.
    “Of course I’m going to cook it.” He waved the head around for emphasis. “Might I remind you that you’re on a limited budget?” (Sweep in Peace)

  443. I WOULD LIKE BOOKS IN THE BAG. I HAVE ONLY ONE CLOTH BAG FROM A BRICK STORE THAT IS GONE. MY QUOTE IS “It was the moment I realized Gertrude Hunt still lived.”

  447. “What are you planning?” I asked, as we turned toward the grand ballroom.
    “Just a small demonstration for the public good,” he said. “I am so sorry.”
    “You’re apologizing in advance.”
    “Yes.”
    Never a good sign.”

  449. My favorite Innkeeper quote: “when you’re stuck in a hellhole far from home, your family will move heaven and earth to get you back.”
    Love the bag! Being a book person ‘no more books’ is a threat to bring me to my knees!

  450. Officer Marais a great character. I love how he adapts to the knowledge of everything that’s out there by learning the new set of rules and then just going about his business of keeping his community safe. I hope I would react with such practicality, but I doubt it.

  451. It’s a lovely day and we’re under siege. People are trying to murder us.” Her eyes shone with excitement. “Isn’t it marvelous?
    Caledonia always has off the wall comments. She is a great addition to the series.

  452. I love this quote from White Hot

    “He said that when you make a sequence of wrong choices, eventually you’re left with no choice at all. I thought he was speaking about Howling at the time. I realize now he managed to meld a rebuke and a death threat into a single sentence.”

  453. This makes me laugh every time: “That idiot couldn’t find his way out of a boot with floodlights and scout support. Trust me, victory is not in his future.” —Sweep of the Blade

    Thanks for the opportunity to win the tote bag!

  454. Too many to count! If it’s just a short quote from Innkeeper, I love:
    “Some things were constant in the universe. Two and two didn’t always equal four, but every water-based species at some point had heated water and thrown some plants into it.”

    I also frequently think about the scene with the misunderstanding of Oro thinking A Christmas Story was a cultural documentary and Wing saying, “Your culture is so complicated” so seriously in return. Cracks me up every time!

  455. My favorite moment in the innkeeper books is when Diana is talking to Orro in the third book and he dramatically looks towards the ceiling and yells he will prevail. It’s a great moment.

  456. “You are not meant to be at peace. We, the human beings, are meant to live life to its fullest. We are meant to experience it all—sadness, disappointment, rage, kindness, joy, love. We are meant to test ourselves. It is painful and frightening, but this is what it means to be alive.”

  458. I love the Costco scene for so many reasons. 1) My favorite part of urban fantasy is the cross-section of magic and the mundane. 2) Dina gets to be a badass, but Sean still gets to save her, without implying that she is not a badass. 3) All Costcos are the same, so I am pretend I am Dina and buy bulk goodness at the same time. I am pushing an enormous cart, and I am also fighting monsters in my head.

  459. “”I’m not a mighty Hunter. I’m just a southern belle stays home bakes cookies and possibly serves mighty hunters iced tea if they happen to drop by.”

    Arland blinked.

    “You broke it you fix it.””

  461. I love when Maud first sees Dina on Karhari. “Dina”s gaze connected with Maud’s. Her sister grinned.” It’s a beautiful scene with an amazing lead up where the ever practical Maud has hope that somehow sending a random message is going to work out. In so few words, the bond of sisterhood is conveyed. Others may leave or betray you, but your family will go to the ends of the earth to get you back (paraphrasing). It’s my favorite part of the whole series.

  462. My favorite moment currently is the Dushegubs attempting to drill out of their enclosure in ‘Sweep of the Heart’.

    It’s so hilarious, and never gets old, no matter how many times I re-read the book(many, many times).

  463. “I’m supposed to offer a professional response to ‘Call me, you stubborn dickhead.’” “Nick! Earmuffs.” Nick clamped his hands over Conlan’s ears.
    Magic Triumphs

    I love Kate as a mother and how she is trying to do what‘s best for Conlan. It is so incredibly relatable

    • The Innkeeper series is my favorite (so far). Hearing this line was spot on, IMO, because children always get sayings/phrases mixed up, and this fit perfectly.

  465. “I had a lot going for me. I had people who loved me.
    I mattered to them and when I fell, they caught me and put me back on my feet.“ from One Fell Sweep. It’s always a good reminder, especially around the holidays.

    I also find myself thinking, “There are times in life when sugar turns into medicine…” from White Hot, when I’m having a rough day but I have cookies.

  466. There are so many: “space chickens”, Orro as a hysterical hedgehog, Ripper Cushions, Do you wish to discuss. I also am fond of Mrs Marais’ this is not cgi.

  467. “To be accurate, two ferrets and one ferret-badger,” Rogan said.

    I laugh until I start coughing… every time. Poor Lenora

  468. So many memorable lines, so many memorable scenes.

    One of my favorites is when the Inn’s cook discovers that the “fire in the hole” tv cook has been faking it.

  469. I love how Dina was just so unfazed by the dushegubs and their antics. She was busy and stressed but just dealt with them. They think they’re dangerous and scary and everyone just doesn’t care.

  470. My current favorite (and yes, favorites are subject to swift changes) is from Sanctuary. “That way lay dragons. and not the fun kind. He needed eggnog.” Too funny and often too true!

  472. I can’t remember the exact quote and it’s honestly not so important. Dina smells chicken and thinks that Oreo may have cooked one of the deceased Draziri.

    I love how Oreo pushes the other side of his dramatic ability and rather than getting big and calling to the heavens he gets smaller and wounded. “Go…. just go.” It’s so perfect.

  473. From the innkeeper series “FIRE” just the whole bit with Oreo finding a new catch phrase was soo funny to me. I loved it!

    But so many moments from IA books live rent free in my head.

  474. Here ya go:
    Quote
    “You are not meant to be at peace. We, the human beings, are meant to live life to its fullest. We are meant to experience it all—sadness, disappointment, rage, kindness, joy, love. We are meant to test ourselves. It is painful and frightening, but this is what it means to be alive. You are hiding from life here. This isn’t peace. This is a slow, deliberate suicide.”

    Sweep in Peace, p. 138

  475. My favourite quote has to by Roman, “Only two kinds of people drink their coffee black: cops and serial killers.”

    I also love the Ferret heist scene in Nevada’s series. Especially Rogan and Augustine collectively losing it and Rogan getting pressure sensors installed in his dryer vents.

  476. My favorite Innkeeper moment is finally finding out the truth behind why Caldenia killed her brother. It makes me tear up each time I read it.

  477. Reading through the comments posted, makes me happy. There should be links in each one so we could relive them in context. I love Kate Daniels best of all and forever. The little blue bow reminds mean to hold onto my core, no matter what.—Not my official entry, which I already posted.

  478. I love when they give vampires coffee and they get abso wasted. Especially Maud at the engagement party as she’s all la-de-da and the rest of the women are just sloshed!

  479. “Dina,” Sean said. “I need to know what we’re dealing with.”
    “Vampires,” I told him. “Please let me do the talking.”

    And then they all hiss “Krahr!” at Dina. In trench coats. During the summer in Texas. Because they want to be subtle and blend in.

    The whole scene is hilarious.

  480. I love “He said he’d met a girl with stardust on her robe, and when he looked into her eyes, he saw the universe looking back.”…yes, he loves her!

  481. So. Many. Moments and Quotes…can’t decide. Seriously how could I pick just one? Moments between Dina and Sean, melodramatic declarations from Orro, vampires drunk on coffee, Caldenia, space chickens debating philosophy, the moments when Dina reveals Gertrude Hunt in all its glory to someone…all spectacular and so special I could go on and on.

  482. Did you know that Drasire taste like chicken? Sean glanced at me as if not sure if I was ok. I had no idea. Orro told me. We are besieged by murderous poultry.

    I’ve always thought that was the greatest line. Wonderful imaging.

  483. So many great Innkeeper moments. The one I find funniest is early in Clean Sweep when Dina sees Sean running around marking his territory.

  485. Oh! This is a hard one! There’s really not one part of any of the House Andrews books that I *don’t* love!

    But maybe this one, because I just love the interaction between Marais, his wife, Dina and Orro:

    Droplet’s fur stood on end. She ran to the kitchen, calling out, “It’s his wife! Bring all the doughnuts!”

    “Brace yourself,” Marais said and yelled, “She likes strawberry!”

    ^___^

  486. I love the innkeepers and your bag is just fantastic. The quote you picked is fantastic and gave me a great laugh this morning.
    And when you asked for my own favorite innkeeper quote, my mind went just blank.
    But finally one came to mind that we all know and love 💕

    “ I’m getting ripper Cushions “

  487. “Beast growled. The undertone of her growl changed, gaining a vicious edge. Sean squinted at her. Beast’s long fur stood up like hackles on a cat. Claws slid from her feet. Her mouth gaped, wider and wider, as if her entire head had split in half. Four rows of fangs gleamed inside. “What the h…?” Sean backed away.”

    and the word would have to be “books”.

  488. This hit me right in the feels:
    Children leave,” Ilemina told her. “It is the greatest tragedy of motherhood that if you have done everything right, if you have raised them in confidence and independence, they will pick up and leave you. It is as it’s meant to be.
    Ilona Andrews
    Sweep of the Blade (Innkeeper Chronicles Book 4)

    • Second this one – I was going to post the same. Always hits me hard.

      “Children leave,” Ilemina told her. “It is the greatest tragedy of motherhood that if you have done everything right, if you have raised them in confidence and independence, they will pick up and leave you. It is as it’s meant to be.”

      Sweep of the Blade

      • I agree! This has comforted me so often as I watch my daughter happy and living out her dreams. Like Ilemina, I only wish that she wasn’t so far away.

  489. I have so many favorites from the innkeeper series! Most revolve around Orro’s food! The perfect egg basket, mango ice cream, perfect doughnut, Or the cooking show adventure with Sean!

  490. All of Sweep of the Blade is my favorite, but especially where the guard is trying not to smile as Helen is explaining her shenanigans. I have four small kids and trying it keep a straight face while holding a boundary is absolutely one of the most relatable lines I’ve read in a book. I even have the ripper cushions mug. <3

    Thanks for your writing. Ya'll are amazing.

  491. When Lady Wexan exclaims the future child would be her favorite.

    Every mom type person agreed wholeheartedly and knew it couldn’t be any other way. And that was the moment we knew she would win.

  493. My favorite Innkeeper scene is in Sweep of the Blade, when Maude arrives in the busy work area and realizes that this is what her late husband always imagined. And then she is summoned, as Maven, to her own desk and is able to contribute to her new community herself. I love that moment of finding her place for the first time.

  494. My favorite scene of the Innkeepers is when Officer Marais brings his wife into the inn. I always read this as the lady being myself and seeing all this in real life, with my own eyes. And yes, I’d wish to discuss! Believe it!

  495. Love when Maud and Illemina are fighting each other (with swords) and also every moment that Maud is being herself and proving, without trying, how perfect she is. Maud! Maud! Maud!

  496. one of the best lines is Helen being told there would be reaper cushions for what she did. hope your not looking for chapter and verse but this really was one of my favorite lines, even if it did become and actual product, which I still haven’t ordered from the online store. everytime I think of ordering something the store goes away.

  499. “Very well. Like a primitive savage who sets out to tame the wilderness armed with nothing but a knife and his indomitable will, I will persevere. I will wrestle victory from the greedy jaws of defeat. I shall rise like a bird of prey upon the current of the wind, my talons raised for the kill, and I shall strike true”

    My mom and I now quote this at each other when we’re feeling dramatic!

  500. I’m sure only this is only because I have a 20 something son who wants to be ‘happy’, but I love when Soren comes to the Inn to collect Arland and is ranting about how Arland said this little vacation would make him happy and Soren says ” I don’t want him to be happy, I want him to be an adult, I want him to deal with his duties … ” I relate !!!

  502. “Had I known you had a haunted house, a magic broom and a devil dog on your side, my initial response would have been extremely different “

  503. Orro spun around and hurled a cabbage at Tony’s head. Tony caught it and set it on the table. “Again, I’m just the messenger.”
    I love these two, just side characters but so important.

  504. There are so many that brought chuckles,but since I want to enter now and not miss my chance, the only book I can retrieve from my elibrary is Sweep in Peace: On learning that Orro was staying….”oh thank the stars.” No offense to your cooking, but the thought of going back to it was causing me actual anxiety.” Causing wondering about her actual cooking skills.

  505. It’s funny; I love these books but I found pulling out a single quote hard. I think it’s because the beauty of them is the emotional tension and that my favorite characters are the smartest people in the room, so they have to explain things to everyone else. A joy to read, but hard to pick single moments out of. That being said, ripper cushions!
    “Then the scary old knight came and told me that if I challenged the boy, there would be ripper cushions.”

  506. Omg, this tote is amazing 😂 Idk that I have a specific moment, but I really love when Dina crafts a room for her guests and makes them feel completely at home. It’s always such a special moment!

  507. “You’re a control freak and I fight all authority. And you want us to mate?”
    A wicked spark lit his eyes. “Many, many times.”
    Magic Bleeds

  508. My favorite quote is from Curran POV collection, I hope it still counts🤭

    ‘Here kitty, kitty, kitty.’

    Oh my God. She was an imbecile, and I was going to kill Jim.

    Makes me laugh so hard every time I read it😂

  509. “Some things were constant in the universe. Two and two didn’t always equal four, but every water-based species at some point had heated water and thrown some plants into it.”

  510. Okay, so my reading comprehension is a bit lacking, one of my favorite innkeeper moments, is the first time Beast became the real Beast. Never underestimate the power of a small dog!

  511. I wish I had more time to read all the quotes, but I’ll read the books again soon.
    When I’m overwhelmed, I frequently find myself exclaiming, “Devourer give me strength!” (and then giggling) from Sweep with Me. Not sure how helpful the Devourer would be for not eating space chickens, though it seemed to work.

  512. My very favorite moments in the Innkeeper series are all in Sweep of the Blade, and I can’t decide on most favorite. I think it’s the fight between Maud and Lady Ilhemina at the Ladies’ Communal, but then there’s rescuing her daughter from the Mukona, and getting the Saurok from the stablemaster, and “Did you get all that or do you need me to translate it for you into your backwater gibberish?” A favorite, and frequently re-read.

  514. How can you pick one favourite? The stardust one, or “we can’t even just walk into a trap like normal people. We have to work really hard first”

  517. My favorite quote for this season is from an Innkeeper snippet:

    It’s from the conversation between Maud, Armand, and Klaus after he asks them to postpone the wedding to avoid a Mucama invasion…

    “I think we just discovered how to get vampire men interested in wedding preparations: promise them a monster invasion!”

  518. Will you take this seriously? The future of an entire species is at stake.”

    “Yes, we’re going to save them with a fart gun.

  519. Then the scary old knight came and told me that if I challenged the boy, there would be ripper cushions.” This scene always makes me smile

  521. “According to our mother,” Bern said, “he was conceived because she was too wasted to remember a rubber.”. This whole conversation was epic. (I do read and love Innkeeper, I just love the Baylors more).

  522. There are so many I could choose, but this one paints such a vivid picture for me.

    “She walked onto the transport and presented herself to the guards,” he said. When they asked her what she was doing there, she told them, ‘My mommy is the Maven and she is waiting for me.”

    Sweep of the Blade

  523. “If he ever becomes an issue, I could eat him. He looks delicious.”

    Ripper-cushions are great, but I dearly love Caldenia.

  524. I love Orro. I love his moods and I love All the description of the food he prepares. I want my own personal Orro!

  526. “RIPPER CUSHIONS”!!! This will make me smile until I’m 99!!!🤣🤣🤣

    And I’ll never tire of hearing Arland speak….sigh!🥰 The charm, the gallantry, the self deprecation…one of the best written characters ever…

  527. There are so many moments to love. One of my favorites is Dina’s trust (amid terror) when Sean defends the Inn against the attacking pirate cruiser. She tells Gorvar: ‘He will be fine…This is what he does.”

  528. (1) for humor = “Let’s take down the gold leaf,” Caldenia said. “Elegance is never ostentatious, and there is nothing more bourgeois than covering everything in gold. It screams that one has too much money and too little taste, and it infuriates peasants…”

    (2) for truth = “Once a species is introduced to interstellar spaceflight, it will advance technologically but not socially”…. This quote is what worries me about people like Elon Musk…

    (3) my personal favorite and what I wish was on a mug = “Some things were constant in the Universe. Two and two didn’t always equal four, but every water-based species at some point had heated water and thrown some plants into it.”

  529. Maud the Red, the Sariv, the Learned One.” They were approaching the table where Onda and Seveline sat. Both women were staring daggers at her. “Kill count of sixty and eight.”

  530. Sweep of the Blade- Arland
    “ “Please, allow me this small diversion. I’m but a guest on your planet. It was a long trip and I have sat for far too much of it.”

    “Books!”

  531. House Andrews fills volumes with memorable quotes and hilarious characters. I like the Ripper Cushions, space chickens, serial urination sprees, caffeine as an intoxicant resulting in naked space vampires, fart guns, oversized hysterical hedgehogs with martyr complexes…

    …but as I recall, the first thing that made me cackle was:

    “I suggest you give up now. According to my research, in a vampire-werewolf love triangle, the vampire always gets the girl.” (Clean Sweep)

    (I did not read Twilight, but I was on the internet when the discussion about it was happening.)

    Also, instead of working on my existing projects, I cast on a pair of socks in thick yarn yesterday—because why would I bother to problem solve or weave in ends when new yarn beckons… That tote is perfect as-is.

  533. here kitty kitty will forever be my favorite quote, It made me laugh out loud. It’s the moment I was hooked by Kate’s sarcasm and never looked back.

  534. “Look, it can be fast, good, or cheap. You can have any two but never all three.” This one also: “Get up, dear. We do not let our enemies win. We claw their hearts out and devour them.”

    There are SOOOOOO many!

  535. I’m not seeing my quote–which I extracted from my highlights–so here it is:

    “You are not meant to be at peace. We, the human beings, are meant to live life to its fullest. We are meant to experience it all—sadness, disappointment, rage, kindness, joy, love. We are meant to test ourselves. It is painful and frightening, but this is what it means to be alive. You are hiding from life here. This isn’t peace. This is a slow, deliberate suicide.”
    Sweep in Peace, p. 138

    And my favorite scene (from the KD series) is the one where Kate & Curran are trying to convince the powers in Atlanta to join forces against the Dragons and Nick Feldman is mocking the crap out of them, until in walks the big bad (Hugh) with the proof. when Hugh tosses that scale on the table, it’s like he’s channeling pure Cordelia Naismith Vorkosigan energy, and I get to bask in two favorite fictional moments at once.

  536. There is so many quotes in this book that are relevant today, and this is my all time favorite quote and moment:
    “I understand them now. They fight because they cannot stop,” he said, his voice somehow reaching me despite the wails. “They have buried their friends and lovers in that ground. It is watered with their blood, and they have nothing to show for it. The idea that those they lost died for nothing is too painful and frightening to contemplate.
    It’s not a war of the living, Dina. It’s the War of the Dead.
    Trust me when I say this: the dead do not care. I can call on their last memories and feelings, but they’re not the same beings they were during their lives. They are echoes of the dying minds. They have no soul.”

  537. My favorite, rather, one of my favorites, is “ ripper cushions”. I also really enjoy George and company. I hope we get to see them again in action, though I know George’s actions are limited.

  539. “Besides, it’s been almost two weeks since anyone was brutally murdered. Things were getting a bit dull. We wouldn’t want to die of boredom, would we?” I love Caldenia she’s always funny. Sweep with Me

  540. I don’t think I should enter. My finish this project or no more word would be “wood”. That seems problematic given that I’m speaking to a tree.

  541. “Yes, the princess you were expecting put on her armor and left to kill the dragon. So sorry.”

    followed closely by (because it applies to so many things, especially art):

    “Look, it can be fast, good, or cheap. You can have any two but never all three.”

  542. “Proposition. You stop interfering or we kill you and break your house-tree. Do you want to discuss?” This was not my first Dushegub rodeo. “You follow rules, or we kill all of you, go to your planet, and kill your saplings with fire.”

    Ohhhh! best ever

  543. Oh, so many moments!

    The first one that came to mind however was from Clean Sweep –Dina describing her father, a man out of time, and his anxiety-filled experiences with cars (“Jesu, Helen, turn the horses!”)

    …but the most poignant image for me is when, after summoning up his courage to drive a mile & a half to the gas station for groceries at 35 miles an hour, Dina’s father would park the car and lay in the grass for ten minutes looking at the sky; and how Dina would sometimes join him to watch the sky and the trees rustling above them and be happy they were alive.

    It brings up a lot for me, casts me back to moments of quiet closeness with my dad.

  547. “i asked him if he was leaving anyone behind. He said he’d met a girl with stardust on her robe, and when he looked into her eyes, he saw the universe looking back.”
    wilmos from Sweep in Peace

  548. I can’t pick a favorite quote OR a favorite scene, there are too many and my brain can’t handle it. In Graphic Audio format I love Orro’s scenes – his voice actor is perfect for the role! I can’t even envision the character without that voice – and in printed word format, I love Maud in Sweep of the Blade, favorite character, favorite book, full stop.

    I too would have to replace “yarn” with “books.”

  549. I have to admit, the Ferret Badger and Ferret heist is my favorite scene. I even made a ferret badger companion for my D&D Ranger

  550. I love when Helen throws her mug at the wall to distract everyone as she makes off with the plate of bacon! She’s my kind of kid.

  551. Whole Innkeeper series is a comfort read for me but I’ve come to love Maude’s book the best. But also the Peace Summit. And Orro. And the “stardust on her robe” quote re Sean’s feelings about Dina 😉

  552. From Kate Daniels’ séries
    “Tart. Think they’ll keep for a week? I’ve gîte compagny coming next friday, and I’d like to make them into a pie.
    -Can the compagny handle the Persephone’s Apples?
    -He can.”

  553. That tote is adorbs! Thanks for the giveaway.

    Caldenia is my fav.
    “I’ve tried to poison everyone at one time or another. Don’t take it personally.”

  554. “‘Welcome. Thank you for being eaten.’”
    “That couldn’t possibly be right.”
    “I know. […] Oh. ‘Prepare to be eaten.’”
    “That’s not better, Dina.”
    -Sweep of the Heart, Chapter 28

  555. when she gets back to the inn from costco and it’s creaking and she tells sean it’s okay it’s just scared.

  556. Innkeeper is my favorite series, with Wilmington Years a close second. I find lots of “favorite quotes” in my many re-readings. But my current favorite is from Sanctuary. “You will need cookies and eggnog to get through it.”

  558. My favorite scene is from Sweep of the Heart, when First Scholar Thek completely owns the sphinx. Funny and satisfying.

  559. Any chance you’ll be offering the original vampire/dushegub tote bags (that you took to Dragoncon) in your store? You’d sell a zillion.

  560. My favorite Inkeeper scene is in Costco. I love the random shopper who took the chaos in stride!

    If I were to be so lucky, I love the bag as pictured. I’m a “hooker” 😉

  561. Love the project bag!

    “You taught me the meaning of loneliness, because when I don’t see you, I feel alone.”

    All the swoony feels.

  562. My favorite innkeeper moment is in Sweep of the Heart when Dina finds Orro’s old mentor since he felt betrayed by the TV chef.

    The quote: “Today there are two masters here. I have come to learn from you, my former pupil. Share with me what you have discovered. I cannot wait to taste your food.”

    Just the most wholesome.

  564. “Fate threw us at each other. I could never tell Grandma.” -White Hot

    “I will drown you in sewage!” – Innkeeper

  567. Impossible to pick a favorite. The Innkeeper Series are my comfort books.

    This moment comes to mind: in Sweep of the Blade when Arland tells Helen, “You’re not a halfer. You’re a vampire and a human. Both and whole, not half and half.”

  569. There are so many favorites!!

    The first one that came to mind is from the Edge Series, when Declan and Rose first meet and she says to him “I am not going to marry you!” and it seems out of the blue to Declan because he doesn’t know the background but it is so damn funny and good!

  570. Look, it can be fast, good, or cheap. You can have any two but never all three.

    From “One Fell Sweep” because it is also true in real life.

  571. One of my favorite scenes is in Sweep With Me. Orro is on a rant about a “Grand Burger” and Sean says “We should get him a cape”.

  572. Anything in the Sweep of the Heart to do with the Barsas.

    Or the scene in same when Dina lines up her vampire”back-up,” much to the disappointment of Cookie and our favorite Under-Khan (can you picture them both jumping up and down with their hands raised begging, “pick me, pick me!”?).

    Or on the winter chalet date when Cyanide demands “all the attentions.”

    *sigh*, too many to choose from!

  573. I flexed my wrist, popped a silver needle into my palm, and offered it to him. “What’s this?” “A needle.” “What should I do with it?” He’d walked right into it. Too easy. “Please use it to pop your head. It’s obscuring my view of the room.” – Kate & Saiman

  575. Eggs done 3 ways from the majestic Orro. I loved the whole scene and description. My bag should say books rather than yarn, if i were lucky enough to win

  579. I’m late reading this (curse you Covid) and am trying to stay awake for more than 2 hours at a time.

    some of my favourites:

    “Dushegubs don’t have emotions. besides I think this looks festive. Just view them as holiday decorations.

    For which holiday?

    Halloween. It’s only 3 months away.”

    this scene and then the one that directly follows it, when we all learn that Costco Lady is Officer Marais’s wife. And bracketing that discovery with yet another Dushegub being frozen and sent to join the “other” lawn ornaments. Just wonderful writing

  581. “He is spoiled rotten,” Evdokia barked. “He spends all his time trying to kill my cat. One child is a doctor, the other is an attorney, the third is a serial killer in training!”

    -Magic Slays

  582. “No. Focus. I’m telling you your boyfriend beheaded your enemies and threaded their skulls on sticks, and all you care about is if your neighbors can see them.”
    “Is he okay?”
    makes me laugh every time

  583. So funny and so apt! I know you aren’t selling merchandise anymore. Wishing this had been available previously!

  584. “It’s not funny. I’ve got a naked drunk vampire running around in my orchard.”

    This in and of itself cemented my love of the Innkeeper series.

  585. I’m traveling and don’t have my books in front of me, so I don’t have the exact quote, but I am found of the moment when Dina and Sean are first getting to know each other and he thinks she’s some naive little gal that needs protecting and/or putting in her place and then she literally opens the ground out from under him. Boss move.

  586. I love the moment in Sweep of the Blade where Maud and Lady Ilhemina spar. It always makes me feel such a surge of emotions– pride and triumph for Maud’s badassery, and the aching poignancy of her protectiveness and survival instinct, the shocking interruption of Helen after you’ve sunk into Maud’s mindset. It’s the moment where the vampires finally get an inkling of who she is and what she’s been through and I always devour that kind of scene.

  587. It’s a hard choice. I love the one where we learn about Caldenia and her brother and she says something about living her best life and seeing Konsandian in swaddling clothes. But I think I’m gonna go with where we see Karat and Bestata sparring and we learn the origin of Dina’s practice weapons.
    “All of us look forward to witnessing you honor your ancestors. The spirit of Olasard’s granddaughter is watching. No pressure.” From Sweep of the Heart.

  588. OMGosh I just finished re-listening to the entire Innkeeper series and I’m now salivating for the next one. I decided to check the blog and saw this. Awesome…that line “do you wish to discuss”, coming after a dire threat, never failed to make me laugh. 😆

  590. “FIRE” every time Orro yelled this it made me laugh so hard. Then when Shawn takes him and the Medamoth on Orro’s fieldtrip! EPIC. 2nd is when the Medamoth is chanting “I will not chase, I will not chase…” because of the koo-ko shenanigans. Oh man so much laughter I had tears streaming down my face and my kids thinking I was nuts.
    Seriously I loved this addition to the series (Sweep with Me). I think it’s my favorite of them all, I’ve reread it so many times and listened to it on many a long road trip.

  591. There are way too many favorite moments or quotes. But there is one I remember most: “There will be ripper cushions.”

    That quote is short and memorable. Other favorite moments I can’t quote verbatim even if I remember them often.

  592. So many to choose from!

    “There will be rippercushions”
    When Kosandian makes his choice, “I finally caught you,” & Lady Wexyn replies, “You silly fool”.
    “I’d never had an attempt at intimidation whispered at me before”.

    Just too many to list them all for the joy they give me.

  593. My favorite moment in the innkeeper books is when Dina starts moving the floor under the two charging vampires and Jack laughs. It was left out of the GA adapted version but it stands out in my mind as a fun moment in a very serious situation.

  594. “And the child is adorable.” Ilemina smiled, “The daggers were so cute.”
    “I’ve seen her kill with those daggers,” Arland said.
    “The baby Helen?”
    He nodded. “She cut a Draziri assassin’s throat in the middle of a battle. She did it the right way, mother.”
    Ilemina recoiled, shocked.

    This scene, or the ushivim thingie.

  596. As much as I love the Inn Keeper books, I have to go to what for me is Kate Daniels classic – “that’s not a cookie.” 😂

  597. I like when the marriage contestant started quoting Conan the Barbarian. I was listening to the graphic audio version and was like, is that? Then started laughing my head off. Then had to rewind and ask my husband “do you recognize this?” Also, as everyone else has said about KD – “Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.” is CLASSIC.

  600. Love Harwir! Vampire of principles!
    “This is an internal combustion engine.”
    “Yes,” I agreed.
    “This is an abomination against nature.”
    Also love that he is finally persuaded to fix it but “fixes” it instead. 🙂

  601. I love it when things mesh together. Finding out the Costco lady is Officer Marais’ wife and the subsequent explanation got me all giddy inside.

  602. “Then the scary old knight came and told me that if I challenged the boy, there would be ripper cushions.” 🙂

  603. So many quotes – all of the Orro and Helen ones are awesome but this one reminds me of family and mobile phones:

    I got my phone out and dialled Arland’s. I’d given him one of the spares we kept for guests and showed him how to use it. He didn’t seem enthusiastic. “Come on Arland” “This is a ridiculous communicator” I put him on speaker “What is with the swiping and the pushing – why isn’t it simply voice activated”

  604. Clean Sweep at the end of ch 6, when Dina teases Sean by sinking the patio into the ground and he jumps straight up in the air like a startled cat <3

  609. I love Orro always being so dramatic and at one point when Orro swept out of the room Sean said they should get him a cape!

  610. Leon’s ‘there is no justice in the world’ while comparing himself with Mad Rogan.
    Love Leon’s character 🙂

  611. Yes, the princess you were expecting put on her armor and left to kill the dragon. So sorry.
    One Fell Sweep

  613. Cute Bag, I love the yarn reference as I’m an avid knitter.

    I’m not one to remember quotes, but I remember “Here Kitty, Kitty” from Kate Daniels. Can’t forget that one. I have loved all the innkeeper books and even encouraged *cough bullied cough* my 14 and 16-year-olds into reading them. They loved them! We had fun discussing the books.

  614. Choices, choices! I have to go with:

    “You make me despair, my lord. Is there no common sense in your head? None at all?” He gave her a dazzling smile. “No, not right now.”

    I’d love the bag to have the “no more books” line on it! Thank you so much for this chance.

  615. There’s so many to choose from, but I think I have to tap the Edge books for my personal favorite.

    “If the sky could dream, it would dream of dragons.”

  616. “Barsa! Barsa, barsa, barsa. Barsa.”
    “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Sean said. “Is that all they say?”
    “Yep. Hush, I’m trying to concentrate. “

  617. I knew I was going to love the books, the characters, the everything when I read this:

    Arland to Sean:
    “I suggest you give up now. According to my research, in a vampire-werewolf love triangle, the vampire always gets the girl.”

  618. “What kind of cake?” “The delicious kind”

    I loved reading Maud’s story and how Helen was immediately accepted by Arlan and his family. In laws to aspire too minus the women’s comunnial… Thank you so much for creating this world!!

  619. I want gifts and Christmas music. I don’t care how many Draziri are out there. They won’t take Christmas from me.”

    “Yes, but we don’t have a suitable male,” Orro said. “And only one dog.”

    I looked at him.

    “What is this Christmas?” Wing asked.

    Orro turned from the stove. “It’s the rite of passage during which the young males of the human species learn to display aggression and use weapons.”

    Sean stopped what he was doing and looked at Orro.

    “The young men go out in small packs,” Orro continued. “They brave the cold and come into conflict with other packs and they have to prove their dominance through physical combat. Their fathers teach them lessons in the proper use of swear words, and the young men have to undergo tests of endurance, like holding soap in their mouths and licking cold metal objects.”

    Sean made a strangled noise.

    “At the end of their trials, they go to see a wise elder in a red suit to prove their worth. If they are judged worthy, the family erects a ceremonial tree and presents them with gifts of weapons.”

    Sean was clearly struggling, because his head was shaking.

    “Also,” Orro added, “a sacrificial poultry is prepared and then given to the wild animals, probably to appease the nature spirits.”

    Sean roared with laughter.

    From One Fell Sweep

    Hehehe literally one of my favorite scenes AND my all-time favorite Christmas movie

  620. My favorite Innkeeper quote is, “There will be ripper cushions.”
    My favorite moments include Maud baiting Onda and Seveline, Orro misunderstanding television, and the never empty fuel tank.
    You’ve created such a wonderful world for us to enjoy!

  621. One of my favorite bits in Hidden Legacy is Rogan speaking on his cellphone…”Margaret? Look into putting pressure sensors on our dryer vents…Yes. Dryer vents.”

    The ferret heist is fabulous!!!!

  622. My favorite moment is from Sweep of the Heart when Lady Wexyn gives Kosandion the gift of an hour of relaxation during the selection process. I knew then that she was right for him.

  623. “When a man takes up arms, he does so for many reasons. Sometimes to punish, sometimes to intimidate or frighten. But when a woman picks up a weapon, she means to kill.” – Clean Sweep

  624. Why are there so many good quotes in your books? The gift you have of taking three or 4 sentences and making an unforgettable image. Good thing Kindle lets me keep a copy of them…

    Even in a white T-shirt and jeans, Arland didn’t fit into the kitchen. It was like walking into your room and finding a medieval knight with the face of a superstar casually sipping tea from your flowery porcelain cup.

    Andrews, Ilona. Clean Sweep (p. 202). NYLA. Kindle Edition.

  625. “Get up, dear. We do not let our enemies win. We claw their hearts out and devour them. You have work to do.” – Caledonia, One Fell Sweep

  626. This is like being asked to pick my favorite child! I love them all.Having said that, Maud is very dear to me.

    “Arland smiled. “You assume she would meet you in a duel. She wouldn’t. One day you would travel somewhere, step out of the vehicle, suspecting nothing, and there she would be with her blade. If she didn’t cut your head off with the first strike, she’d let you win until you got close enough to her, spit poison gas into your face, then run you through and be gone before anyone was the wiser.”

  627. “We haven’t done anything dumb or dangerous for almost six months.” Sean pushed away from the wall on which he was leaning, walked over, and kissed me. “Let’s do this.” From Sweep of the Heart

  629. Finally getting Caldenia’s backstory in Sweep of the Heart made so many things click into place for me!
    I would love a “Finish your books or no new ones!” On the bag!

  631. “Fire!!!”
    I laughed so hard thru the whole Orro moment of truth situation at the reality show.
    I love to cook, so I can’t help thinking about Orro and “Fire!! ” at particular moments of culinary artistry.

  632. My entry to the Tote Giveaway is from the Sweep of the Blade of the Innkeeper Series is two lines at nearly the end of the book:

    “If you do well, I will give you cake,” Ilemina said.
    Helen’s eyes lit up. “What kind of cake?”

    It spoke of acceptance (to the family), affection and the overcoming of the hardships the characters endured, but most of all, the innocent delight seen through the eyes of a child.

  633. When Mrs. Officer Marais ;-)-Donna- entered entered the Inn! That whole scene was SO entertaining! One of my favorite parts!!!

  634. First time I came to this post there were about 200, today there is over 700 comments. What a great and fun community!

  637. There will be ripper cushions.

    I would love to see this particularly series produced as a series of movies. It has everything–epic adventure, true love, philosophy, humor, crazy aliens, vampires and werewolves. And space chickens. I LOVE the space chickens!

    However, each and ever comment here was like sitting down and reminiscing with old friends. You have such a gift of creating characters and worlds that give me hope for our world.

    Oh, and books instead of yarn. But, now that I am no longer a part of the work force, I admit that I may have a teeny problem of collecting fabric, yarn, books…:)

  638. oh to just pick 1! I will have to use Book 6 and it’s a tie between

    Gaston let out a rumbling chuckle. “Have you ever considered a career in skullduggery, Dina?”

    and

    “Welcome. Thank you for being eaten.’” “That couldn’t possibly be right.” “I know.” I stepped forward and held my palms out, making small circles. “Barsa?” “Barsa. Barsa-barsa, barsa.” “Oh. ‘Prepare to be eaten.’”

  639. Grandma Frida gave me the evil eye. “That yarn cost $38 a skein. I want her to salvage it. I tried doing it myself, except I have frayed nerves today. I was going to set it on fire for closure, but your mother took away my blow torch.“

    Anyone who kits at one time or another has that project calling out to be on fire!

  640. Rippercushions. I was at work and we were discussing repercussions for someone and I couldn’t get the proper word out I kept saying ripper cushions. LOL

  641. Blaatttt!
    What are you, five!?
    Heehee
    and I sent a fart gun to my brother who suffers depression. he loved it.

  642. “I turned and almost walked into Sean. … Every cell in my body went on full alert. My broom sprouted a blade.
    Sean smiled, a feral grin like a wolf panting. “Dina.” He practically purred…..
    “I think your new outfit got you a little too excited.” I began to pool the magic under him. “I’m going to kiss you,” he said.
    “What?”
    He pushed my spear aside with his fingers and bent down. His hand slid into my hair. His mouth closed on mine.
    Kissing Sean Evans was like drinking a shot of the strongest liquor in the world while it was on fire.”

  644. “Unexpected” 🤣 honestly the whole Barsa’s and giant snail scene is pure gold. I love it so much.
    Then! Then they go through the portal and Dina gets ripped away 💔 First you fill my heart with humor and lightness, then you rip my heart in two. Ahhhh, ok now I’m going to listen to Sweep of the Heart again … 😂

  646. This is like asking me to pick my favorite child!
    However, Maud is a favorite of mine.

    “Arland smiled. “You assume she would meet you in a duel. She wouldn’t. One day you would travel somewhere, step out of the vehicle, suspecting nothing, and there she would be with her blade. If she didn’t cut your head off with the first strike, she’d let you win until you got close enough to her, spit poison gas into your face, then run you through and be gone before anyone was the wiser.”
    Sweep of the Blade

  648. Love me some Maud, and love the search function.

    “On Karhari there is a summer wind that comes from the wastes. Nobody knows how it forms, but it comes out of nowhere and it picks up thorny spores from local weeds. When you inhale sariv’s breath, the spores enter your lungs and cut you from the inside. There is no escape from this storm. If you are caught in it without protective gear, it will kill you. They called me that because I paid the blood debt I owed to my husband’s killers.”

  649. All the scenes!

    But “Angry Captain Documentaries” gets me every time.

    Finish your work or no more books

  652. I love your merch and your blog and your stories and your humor and world-building and openness and down-to-earth yet epic natures.
    You’re my all-time favorites! And you write my all-time favorite stories.
    Thanks!
    Favorite Innkeeper moment or quote? I have many, several from each story.
    But I do especially love Helen’s “ripper cushions” line, and also George’s quick answer for how much a quintillionth of a second was (and his openness about looking it up).
    Thank you for the chance to win the awesome tote bag!
    And thanks for the info about the custom-tote website!

  654. I don’t need the tote, but this conversation between Dina and Adira really stuck with me – especially now, with all the hatred and violence spewing out:“Mercy is defined as kindness or forgiveness given to someone who is within your power to punish. To show mercy means to give up retribution, sometimes at the cost of justice.” Sometimes an act of kindness can change a life.

    And, for something on a lighter note, I laugh every time I think of this scene from Magic “Clams”:
    Then I crouched slightly, bounced back up, put one hand on my hip, and held the other arm to the side, bent at the elbow, with my fingers together. “What is this?” Barrett asked. “I believe it’s a little teapot,” Claudia said, completely deadpan. “Short and stout. See, there is its handle and there is its spout.”

  655. George in Sweep of the Heart
    “Take my hand and bring your sword. The universe is waiting.”

    I love the bag wording as is
    And I love, love, love your books

  656. “It was a formal challenge,” Maud said.
    “I’m getting ripper cushions,” Helen told him.

    Innkeeper Chronicles, Sweep of the Blade.

    I love Maud and Helen… and Arland 😉

  658. Nuan Cee “When I look back I should see the line of my ancestors, long and unbroken. It is they who give us strength” That may not be a perfect quote but I do have it up on my family picture wall at home.

    Dina “Did you have a cat?” to Sebastion North.

  659. I love many different moments and lines from your stories but the following quote by Doolittle has always stuck with me. I’ve actually had it saved on my tablet for years.

    “Humans tend to segregate the world: enemies on one side, friends on the other. Friends are people we know. Enemies are the Other. You can do just about anything to the Other. It doesn’t matter if this Other is actually guilty of any crimes, because it’s a matter of emotion, not logic. You see, angry people aren’t interested in justice. They just want an excuse to vent their rage.” Doolittle sighed. “And once you become their Other, you’re no longer a person. You’re just an idea, an abstraction of everything that’s wrong with their world. Give them the slightest excuse, and they will tear you down. And the easiest way for them to target you as this Other is to find something that’s different about you. Color of your skin. The way you speak. The place you’re from.”

  660. Favorite moment or quote? That’s hard. “Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!”, of course from Kate. From the innkeeper series? It’s little, but I love how the local police officer protects the inn and innkeepers.

  661. I still love the idea of “ripper cushions”! Oh, and I always giggle when we learn who the Costco woman is. 😉

  663. I literally laughed out loud when Dina and the Costco lady killed the stalker. Costco lady’s line ” Don’t mess with Texas” is The Most Texas thing to say. I love it!

  664. This is not from Innkeeper (though I have read every published IA title ever), nor is it a direct quote (just a close paraphrase), but it is something I have used in real life on multiple occasions and therefor must qualify as my favorite…

    “You can go ahead and do this, but I promise that five years from now, when your life is thoroughly ruined, you’ll look back on this moment and wish you had taken two minutes and thought about what you were doing, because this is the point where it all went very wrong.”

    Drunk passenger throwing a fit on an airplane? Use the line. Cop getting overly aggressive on a protester? Use the line? Teenager wanting to do OnlyFans and expecting no one will find out? Line.

    It actually works.

    And I would like a bag identical to Ilona’s because I could use the reminder to finish my current wip before all the shiny patterns and pretty yarns lure me to the dark side.

  665. My favorite was when Unessa asked are you strong, are you rich, do others serve you? A woman with priorities. I laughed!

  666. I love so much but one scene I come back to is in the first of the Edge books when William discovers Jack is like him yet still has a home -looking at Jack’s room while poor Jack tries to work out what is surprising because it’s just a regular room, and then William going out to Declan and saying “You’ve got me for the fight…for the boy.” It gets me everytime.

  667. Hello and Moin from Bremen, Germany. I read: tote bags und in german it is: Death bags. Maybe i giggle a bit….
    I love all your books. Some of them are not translated in german, so i had to read it in english, so i learned a lot.

    I love the space chickens and Orro, Maud and Hellen and her story quite a lot !

  668. Maud/Nuan cee:
    The galaxy had very few universal laws, but the Law of Bronwyn had provel true again and again, so often that is was simply accepted.
    “Once a species is introduced to interstellar spaceflight, it will advance technologically but not socially.

    Illemina to Maud about Helen:
    “Children leave. It is the greatest tragedy of motherhood that if you have done everything right, if you have raised them in confidence and independence, they will pick up and leave you. It is as it’s ment to be.”
    “If you try to hold and restrain her, you’ll be committing an irreperable sin.
    We shouldn’t hobble our young. We do not cut their teeth. One day it will be just you, Maud.”

  670. Maud and Mutual Cooperation Pact with Clan Nuan.
    “If we leave any gap, any hint at an alternative interpretation, they will drive a space cruiser through it.”

  671. Sweep of the Blade – obviously my favorite – as all quotes where from it.
    I love also the artwork of Isabeau Backhaus

  672. One of my favorite quotes is from Catalina: “I can’t even. I may never be able to even again.”

    I use it often in my life these days.

  673. Favorite quote- “Commander Karat says ‘Do this”, and Knight Derit does it, because that’s what knights do.” That particular conversation between Lord Arland and Knight Ruin kills me.

  674. Ripper Cushions. Obviously little Helen is the cutest. Maybe when the sisters get back and Helena is cooking on the stool and the Inn has vines behind her to make sure she doesn’t fall and Maud is yelling for Diana to give her the phone so she can take a picture.

  676. What do you bring to vampire faculty appreciation day?
    Maud messing with Dina about small knives instead of chalk

    One Fell Sweep

  679. It’s such a hard choice, there are so many good ones! I tried to find one I liked that wouldn’t be a common choice, then decided I really needed to do a reread just so I can pick one. Time being short though, means I will still reread, but I will also post my favourite Hidden Legacy quote instead, which makes me laugh every time I read it:

    “She wore a white dress that really wanted to be a sleeve.” ~Burn for Me

  680. “It may not be the Blue Jewel, but it is the kitchen of a chef who takes pride in his work. You can come with me and triumph against impossible odds, or you can reject the challenge of the gods and stay here. Would you rather be a hero in charge of your own destiny or a martyr wallowing in self-pity? What will it be?”

  681. sweep in peace he met a girl with stardust on her robe and when he looked in to her eyes he saw the universe looking back.

  683. Sean’s dismissal snark to yet another female werewolf and how Dina caught her so she not all that let alone a mighty warrior.

  685. I loved the Costco scene in Innkeeper Book 1
    “She wiped her face with her left forarm and kicked the stalker’s corpse with her sneakered foot. “Don’t mess with Texas.””
    Love your books (and knitting)

  686. “You’re beautiful, you’re brilliant, and if they knew how dangerous you were, you would get buried in proposals.”

    ~ a certain swoonworthy antistasi prime

  687. Sean meeting Beast in beastmode and scrambling up a tree is something that sends me into giggles every single time I read it!

  688. “I told you I wasn’t poisonous.”

    Sean’s response to Dina’s message from Wilmos’s shop.

  689. When Arland lays out his intentions to Maud: “But know that there will never be another one like you for me and one like me for you.”

  691. “You are no chef! That poultry is a lie!”
    Orro in Sweep with Me to the fraud chef, Garry Keys
    lol. Never meet your hero.

  692. Orro’s speech when Dina accuses him of cooking Draziri has to be one of my all time favorites. The drama is just magical.

    “ “In all my years, since I was a lowly apprentice barely tall enough to slide a pot onto a stove, I have broken the kitchen code only once. Once I have let a dish I hadn’t tasted leave my kitchen. I have never broken it before or since. The code is my life, my religion, and my conscience. Without it,” he ripped the air with his claws, “I am but a lowly savage.” There was no stopping it. I brought it on myself, I had to stand there and take it. “Rise early to be at your station early,” Orro intoned. “Keep your knives sharp. Never touch other chef’s knives. Keep yourself, your station, and your food clean. Never let a dish out of your kitchen without tasting it. Know your ingredients. Respect the creatures on your prep table; honor their lives. Know your diners. Cook to the tastes of those who dine, not your own. Never serve a dish that harms your diners’ health or soul. Never settle for second best. Never stop learning. These are the cornerstones of everything I am. They are the firmament of my universe.” He paused over me. I nodded. “Am I some vagrant you found on the street cooking rats in a rusted pot?” Oh for the love of… “Do you honestly think I would sink so low as to harm your soul by serving you a sentient being? Do you think so little of me?” “I apologize.” He slapped his clawed hand over his eyes in a pose that would’ve made any Shakespearean actor proud. “Go. Just… go.””

  693. Easily the scene where Beast chases Sean up a tree. It’s so awesome when a character expects to be dominate in a situation is compeltely thrown off guard.

    Pretty much goes for eveyrone who ever underestimates Dina.

    Second favorite scene would be Officer M.’s wife coming to the Inn. Loved when her and Dina realized they knew each other. Also loved how shocked she is.

  694. Remembered this one after posting earlier.

    First scholar Thek: Do you have a rebuttal?
    Unessa: I didn’t know I was supposed to bring one.

  696. “Would you rather be a hero in charge of your own destiny or a martyr wallowing in self-pity? What will it be?”

    I actually wrote this out and have it taped up on the wall. Very good for motivation! From Sweep in Peace!

  697. My favorite inkeeper quote is from Clean sweep. Maybe not the most funny or witty. But for me it had the most impact.

    Most people discounted intuition as a nonexistent superstition. I knew better. Whenever I’d get too bratty with my powers, Dad used to remind me that every human had magic. The difference between them and me was awareness and practice. Most people simply didn’t realize they could do things that bent their reality. It was kind of like growing up in a land with no deep rivers or lakes. If you never tried, how would you know if you could swim? But even without practice, the magic found a way to make itself known. Intuition was such a manifestation.

    It makes me feel that I have magic with my intuition. 😊 we should all feel a little magical.

  699. “Like a primitive savage, who sets out to tame the wilderness armed with nothing but a knife and his indomitable will, I will persevere. I will wrestle victory from the greedy jaws of defeat. I shall rise like a bird of prey upon the current of the wind, my talons raised for the kill, and I shall strike true.”
    Oh wow. I hope the inn filmed that.
    -Sweep in Peace

    Anything with Orro and Sweep in Peace is my favorite.

  700. I have loved and requoted (is that a real word??) this line ever since I first read it. It is powerful stuff:
    “When a man takes up arms, he does so for many reasons. Sometimes to punish, sometimes to intimidate or frighten. But when a woman picks up a weapon, she means to kill.”
    ― Ilona Andrews, Clean Sweep

  701. I have so many favorite scenes. I don’t know where to begin. I think the house burying the police officer is just one of many. Now I need to reread the whole series again!

  702. We love the Innkeeper universe and Kate and Julie. Oh wait a minute..the rest of it,too..(says the the wife-demigoddess).
    We routinely name cats, birds, bees and nickname humans after characters. Oh, there goes Curran..the local tom cat.

  703. She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing…
    “Here, kitty, kitty, kitty.”
    Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim.

  704. I LOVE Inkeeper, but many of my favies have been used so…
    I’m heading to Legacy
    Rogan – “Yes. Dryer vents.”
    Cornelius and the antics of his hoard make me endlessly happy.

    MY word would be pigments… no more pigments :o)

  706. Caldenia’s “Full Moon!”

    I’d be excited to see that too lol

    But I also still love everytime the inn takes Dina in when she’s hurt. It’s her first and best partner.

  707. I love the scene when all is done and Orro is packed to leave and Dina asked where he was going and he was overwhelmed when she asked him to stay.

  708. “Children leave…It is the greatest tragedy of motherhood that if you have raised them in confidence and independence, they will pick up and leave you. It is as it’s meant to be.”

    Sweep of the Blade

    The best mom advice ever…even if it made me cry.

  709. I love Innkeeper, but the exchange on pg. 58 of Magic Claims from “When you find freaky sh!t in the scary woods, you don’t poke it with a stick” to “I’m going to poke it with a stick” cracks me up every time.

  710. September 23rd is when Mississippi begins voting absentee – be a voter!
    “Life gives us precious few opportunities to put our best foot forward, so when a chance to shine presents itself, one should always take it.”

  713. This might be too late but my favorite quote from your whole collection of books is “ touch me with that and I’ll cut it off…Bad hobo!”

  714. I love Lord Soren’s reaction to Arland and Maude’s practice session in One Fell Sweep.
    Lord Soren closed his jaw. “Who is that?”
    I gave him a sweet smile. “It’s an Earth woman.”

  715. Ohhhhhh there are too many 🫣
    Okay stay calm, pick one book from the series. I will go with Sweep of the Blade because I can’t wait for that door that opened on Daesyn to bring us full circle. So exciting! Okay the quote “Arland raised his eyebrows, “I’ve survived countless attempts at manipulation before I appeared to be too dense for it however, I am open to being seduced”

    That’s my official entry, but I would also like to note that I love your use of imagery, for example, “Helen scampered off, like a bunny released from its hutch”
    “For a moment everyone forgot to posture and just stared. She had pried Kure out of his armor. The humiliation was absolute.” Like an oyster being popped open. I love it.

  716. My favorite moment was the sword fight between Maude and Ilemina. You felt the complexity and the genuine danger and then the resolution with Helen was really the perfect and only way to end it.

  717. Caldenia ka ret Magren: “Bonus.”

    Dina: “I can give you mom’s take care.”

    Arland: “Say the liturgy of the fallen for me my lady.”

    Sean: “I have to growl at …”

    Dina: “…always get the permission in writing.”

  718. Okay! This is not my ONLY favourite quote from Innkeeper, but it’s definitely up there. 😀

    (Here’s hoping I caught all the ‘helpful’ spelling corrections and didn’t accidentally call Orro “Error” or “Oreo”. He’d be appalled!)

    from One Fell Sweep, Chapter 11:

    “… They won’t take Christmas from me.”

    “Yes, but we don’t have a suitable male,” Orro said. “And only one dog.”

    I looked at him.

    “What is this Christmas?” Wing asked.

    Orro turned from the stove. “It’s the rite of passage during which the young males of the human species learn to display aggression and use weapons.”

    Sean stopped what he was doing and looked at Orro.

    “The young men go out in small packs,” Orro continued. “They brave the cold and come into conflict with other packs and they have to prove their dominance through physical combat. Their fathers teach them lessons in the proper use of swear words, and the young men have to undergo tests of endurance, like holding soap in their mouths and licking cold metal objects.”

    Sean made a strangled noise.

    “At the end of their trials, they go to see a wise elder in a red suit to prove their worth. If they are judged worthy, the family erects a ceremonial tree and presents them with gifts of weapons.”

    Sean was clearly struggling, because his head was shaking.

    “Also,” Orro added, “a sacrificial poultry is prepared and then given to the wild animals, probably to appease the nature spirits.”

    Sean roared with laughter.

    I grinned at him.

    He leaned back, shaking, laughter exploding out of him.

    “Your culture is so complicated,” Wing said. “On my world, we just go on a quest to kill something big.”

    “I suppose small Helen could substitute for a male,” Orro said thoughtfully. “I’m sure we can get her a proper gun.”

    “We can’t,” Sean managed between gulps of laughter. “She’ll put her eye out.”

  719. I loved the Dushegubs’ lines. Pretty much all of them. But the “Do you wish to discuss?” Is my favorite. . . I mean, at least then knew enough to know that they needed to allow other beings to say something in return.

  720. She wore a white dress that really wanted to be a sleeve.

    The tote bag is perfect. Thank you for the opportunity to win one.

  721. l like the Innkeeper series but I really like all things Tremaine therefore ” we lie to everyone… and ” she stole Trevor from me…

  722. “Chef wants to know if this is your captain and if your badge is on the line,” Droplet asked Marais.
    I could not find the original interaction which included Orro’s donut(pink with gold sprinkles?) but the interaction between Orro and Marias is top a favorite.

  723. My favourite Innkeeper moment is in Clean Sweep when Dina kicks Sean out of the Inn and he has his moment where he’s able to hold on and pull himself in the doorway before getting blasted out.

    It was so hard to choose just one because there are so many… like in One Fell Sweep when Arland says to Maud to recite the litany of the fallen for him just before he goes after the world killer. Or in Sweep of the Blade when Maud and Arland are leaving the park after Arland picked a fight with everyone then he kicked their asses yet he is so injured but doesn’t want to show it – so they buck up every time they pass a window. Or when Maud gets back from the hike with the wedding party to find Arland and Helen with twigs in their hair … nope, nothing happened… nothing to see here.

    Or near the end of Sweep in Peace when everything has gone wrong and Dina brings down the hammer – she comes out in her innkeeper robe and is all menacing as she holds everyone accountable. That was so very epic!

    Apologies if I got any of the details wrong as I’m going off of memory, but hopefully you all remember what I mean!!

  727. Much love to Maud in Sweep of the Blade.

    “My lady,” he said in that deep cultured voice. “I apologize for not arriving sooner in your time of dire need.”
    Hell would freeze over before she would owe another vampire. “Not that dire, my lord. Please don’t bestir yourself on my behalf.”
    She dropped, spinning, kicked a vampire’s leg from under her and stabbed her in the throat on the way down.

  728. In Ruby Fever when Arabella is telling everyone about her car accident, she says she didn’t get a good look at the guy, then proceeds to give a detailed description. It’s too funny. Then Arabella starts poking about a very pregnant Nevada. That’s such a sibling moment.

  732. I don’t have a favorite, there are too many wonderful ones for favorites.

    Dragons, ripper cushions, stars in her eyes, Christmas, the end of SOTH.

  733. Oh, there are so many Innkeeper moments. One of the best ones is here on the blog, it’s the snippet where Klaus comes to see Maud and Arland. Mauds response to his news is: “We need to go bigger”. Which can be applied to oh so many situations in everyday life. For instance when considering if one should use yarn from stash or by more. The bigger yarn stash, the better, right? Love the tote. If you ship to Norway, I promise to keep one of my unfinished projects in it.

  734. It’s impressive to come to the rescue of your sister in the form of her stash of candles. Win-Win for everyone.

  735. One of my favorite quotes is from Julie in her short story: The truth strength isn’t in killing or ignoring your opponent, it’s in having the will it shield those who need your protection.

  736. Oops I missed one word: The truth strength isn’t in killing or ignoring your opponent, it’s in having the will to shield those who need your protection. this is sooo true

  737. “A human goes off to walk the Lantern Vigil, while my cousin the Marshal stays home to babysit,” Karat said. “I realize now why I have never fallen in love. I’m entirely too sane for that.”

  738. Maud teasing Dina about Sean as he’s bringing in the weapons during the Draziri seige. Absolutely sibling goals.
    “Do you need a hand with all of that equipment?”
    “OH sure, he totally needs your help with his equipment.”
    😂😂😂

  739. Somewhere out there, there is a subset of readers that needs “Finish this project or no more _fill in university degree or other credential of your choice_.”

  740. I love laugh out loud moments. “I told him if he gets in trouble, he should try singing prettily so his woodland friends will come to the rescue.” Clean Sweep. One of many, many favorites.

  741. I could probably pick almost any line out of any of the innkeeper books.

    My husband and I reference “ripper cushions” and the other day “do you wish to discuss” came up.

    from HL – I also love “I’m hilarious. Ask Peaches” (currently going back through Burn for me)

  742. Ohhh I really like the tote bag! Such pretty murderous trees! 😍
    One of my favourite scenes from Inkeeper is in Clean Sweep, when Arland tells Sean to back off, because according to his literature research vampires always get the girl 😂 it cracks me up every time I read it (and I read it often)!

  744. This is like trying to decide which of my kids is my favourite – all of the Innkeeper moments are my favourite! One that sticks out, though, is Deena’s passive-aggressive revenge when George destroys some of her apple trees. I have never related to a character more!

  745. In One Fell Sweep Dina explains to Sean what it means to be an innkeeper. Sean asks “but would I get you if I were an innkeeper?” Dina “yes” Sean “that is all I want”

  746. I love Roman´s series “This is going to be hell” she said, “Nah”. He grinned. “Hell is for Christians and the Norse. For us, it´s just another day in Nav”.

  748. How exciting! I love this bag!! It makes me laugh.

    In the Innkeeper books, I especially love Maud. So many favorite moments…the two I will mention now: when Maud rides Attura and the scene where Maud tells Arland she resigned because of the fraternization clause.

    Thanks for the give-away!

  750. I adore pretty much everything Innkeeper (it’s one of my comfort-read series), but especially Orro, his dramatics, and his outrage at the lies on the cooking show.
    Also – Arland running around nekkid, the fart gun, and “Ripper cushions”…

  751. I am frozen. Pick ONE?? That´s imposible.
    I like when Curran is near Kate´s ear and whisper “psycho”.
    And “rippercushions”. And the fart gun, and and and….
    Wait, what about magic clams?????

  753. I never have only one favorite, but this scene is a favorite, and I haven’t seen it mentioned yet. It’s from Sweep of the Heart, chapter 4, when Maud, Arland, and Helen arrive at the castle of House Krahr, and Arland is instantly accosted by Knight Ruin.

    “Arland’s face took on the stony expression of a man who was either about to charge the enemy line for the fifth time in a single day, or do his taxes.”

    I feel that scene on a visceral level.

    That tote is marvelous just the way it is.

  754. Then the scary old knight came and told me that if I challenged the boy, there would be ripper cushions.”

    Is probably one of my favorites like many people. Also in sweep of the heart, as for a scene, when they realize that Officer Maris’s wife is the costco lady.

    I can’t think of any other direct quotes atm.

  756. Love that bag!

    Currently doing a re-read of Kate Daniels and just got to Kate and Lorelei meeting in Magic Rises:

    Curren to Kate: “We just got here. baby. It’s too early for you to start killing people.”

    So perfect!

  758. All of the above.
    But the most beautiful moment is when Magnolia Green survives and becomes a colossal Magnolia on Daesyn.
    Innkeeper is my comfort read.

    • Not exact words. When Dina is describing the Vampires- they were on a secret mission but they still forcefully whispered their house credentials.

  761. “Finish this project or no more books” is def something I need.

    One bit that has me “snortling “ every time:
    Six vampires came scuttling over the roof, in assorted colors of sunblock, like someone spilled a bag of Skittles. Taste the undead rainbow.

  762. The scene in “Sweep of the Blade” where the House Kozor is trying to provoke Maud and she keeps turning it back on them. “Are members of House Kozor in the habit of copopulating with their pet birds?” “Birds, children… ” I love the way Maud turned their insults back on them. I wish I could think that fast

  763. “Monday 23, 2024” I don’t really think I could take having a new month, all days being “Monday”, added to the calendar. Can we just nix that idea? 🙃

  764. The bride’s wassail — Sweep of the Blade — 1) Are members of House Kozor in the habit of copulating with their pet birds? No idea you had such exotic tastes. 2) And the BEST — “Clearly”, Maud said [sticky coffee sliding down her neck, dripping from her hair, “some people just can’t handle their coffee.” The entire scene is awesome.

  765. Nevada: “Eat dirt and die”. I’m pretty sure Kate has said this as well. Short, sweet, and to the point.

  766. There are so many great Innkeeper moments: Arland and coffee, the Hiru reveal, Helen making a distraction for bacon, Orro and his delicious food, Mrs. Marais getting clued in, exhausted George, Dina and her knowing the best room to provide guests, anything Caldenia, etc. I think my favorite, though, is Maud’s reveal on the battle station and the Ancestor Vampiric verbal smackdown.

  767. My favourite moment of Innkeeper (in this moment) is when Diana allows her cat to be named the Devourer of Souls. It is funny, touching and what family does: it is a perfect moment.

  768. “Brace yourself”.. “I think we’re about to get attacked with some goodness and light. ” from Sanctuary.

    I have a chronic and as of yet untreatable illness. This does not stop people from smothering me in good advice about nutrition, oxygen therapy, mindfulness, and that one weird trick that cured their aunts’neighbours’friends’niece.

    I snickered when I read this line, picturing a bunch of do-gooders coming to convert Roman to the benefits of yoga.

    (I like Yoga! I did it 3 times a week before I got ill. If I try it now, it will make me sicker)

  769. “Then the scary old knight came and told me that if I challenged the boy, there would be ripper cushions.”

  771. Picking a favourite quote or moment is impossible, it’s all my favourite. This has inspired a re-read of the series which is always fun.

    My quote for entry is Caldenia:
    “Oddly, I find myself mildly fascinated by Genghis Khan. A shrewd and savage warrior, possessing a certain magnetism. I left him with a single city, and I periodically make ridiculous demands that I know he can’t meet so I can watch him squirm.”

    Thank you for offering such a lovely contest and prize. Back to my re-read.

  776. I replay the fartgun scenes from Graphic Audio for my 6yo constantly. They’re our favorite to listen to together

  777. I find myself at times wishing to trade in my day job for my own little inter-galactic inn. Love your stories, keep ’em coming forever!! Many quotes from Kate’s Auntie are some of my favorites. She is so dramatic in a scary fun way.

  778. Favorite Innkeeper Quote: “Is it a habit of House Krahr to waste time with empty threats?”

    That tote is so cute!

  779. My favorite Inkeeper moment is the end of Sweep of the Heart, when they are grafting the cutting of Magnolia Green to Gertrude Hunt. It’s just the best. Like, so much could go wrong, but it’s turning out to be the best thing ever. Loved it!

  780. My all-time favorite is Helen and her “ripper cushions.” Also, Kate saying, “Here kitty kitty.”

  781. I love that bag and the quotes even more haha

    For me, it would change yarn to “fabric” since my wife is a quilter, haha

  782. “The Sovereign asked his sister for help for the very last time. And she came.”
    “Of course, I came. He was my baby brother,” Caldenia said quietly. “In the end, family is all we have.”

    These few lines will never not being me to blubbering tears.

  783. Arland saying All if our security measures have been deeated by a five year old when Helen snuck onto the battle station.Helen saying There will be Ripper Cushions. I just really love Helen and how she was written.

  784. My favorite quote from “Sweep of the Heart” is, “No matter what the future will bring, this will be the one thing I will never regret. Will you marry me?” That was Kosandion talking to Lady Wexyn. It’s so romantic!

  785. I love them all, I love Sweep with Me (Oro Is GREAT!) AND maude is amazing in Sweep of the Blade.

    can’t wait to see #7!!

    • lol, mentioned the book but not the quote

      I’d love to get the bag…
      “pleeeeeeaaaaaasssseeee, small human…”

  788. I love Orro’s “I have spoken”! I might have used it a few times when speaking to my poor husband. Haha!

  791. Thank you for giving me the impetus to binge reread the Innkeeper series. I’m a sucker for a good alien, and the inns have them in rich supply.

    That said, I have to quote my favorite alien: “If Dina dies, I will eat you, dear.” —Caldenia, Clean Sweep, p 161.

  792. I have so many favourite moments! But I’ll stick with when Maud was seated at the Tachi table and instantly realized the significance of the crystal bracelet and that she was in the presence of royalty. To save relations between the vampires and the tachi, she used the knowledge taught to her as the daughter of an Innkeeper and made an edible mandala for Dil’ki.

    I absolutely love this moment bc then one of the tachi guards saves Helen when she was poisoned and it led to trade station agreements being drawn up and an alliance to fight when the battle station was under siege! Such a single great moment that led to more amazing moments!

  793. Just re-read the entire Innkeeper series (it was a lovely week, thank you) and I still have to stick with Kate and Curran…
    Curran: “Are you going to help ke or make fun of me?”
    Kate:”Can’t I do both?”

  794. I have a lot of favorite moments, but this one from Sweep in Peace struck a chord recently:

    “The universe is vast and we’re it’s greatest mystery.”

  796. When Orro gives Dina mango ice cream (after the baby inn seed dies) and says “Will you please eat small human. Please. Please eat. ” It always gives me a lump in my throat.

  797. Helen’s “ripper cushions” scene never fails to make me laugh .. reminds me of some of the kids I work with too, for better or worse!

  798. The quote that I keep coming back to is, “He said he’d met a girl with stardust on her robe, and when he looked into her eyes, he saw the universe looking back.”- Sweep in Peace
    It sticks with me. Orro may be my favorite character. And I love any scene where raises his claws to the heavens, but no individual quote sticks with me more than the universe looking out of Dina’s eyes.

  799. It is very hard to pick. I think anything Orro related is just the best. But a really funny moment is when Officer Marais’ wife shows up and Droplet comes out asks “Chef wants to know if this is your captain and if your badge is on the line.”

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