P. writes,
I desperately want to be a writer. … I attended a book signing and I could picture myself doing it, like it could be me. I could do this. … What does it take to make it?
Oy.
It would be good if life had easy answers. If you could just say, “Work hard and persist, and you will be successful.” Life doesn’t always work that way.
So let’s talk about making it. What do you mean by that? Is it being published by a respected publishing house? Is having your own signing with a long line “making it?” Is it receiving critical acclaim? Is it respect of your family and friends? (Let it go on that last one, by the way. One of the first things I realized when we go published – nobody except us cared.) You need to define what “making it” means to you.
When I was younger, I wanted to be a genetic engineer. I had a very romantic view of it, thanks to all of the science fiction I’ve read. I thought it would be interesting and exciting. I was in love with the idea of being a scientist. I literally couldn’t imagine myself doing anything else. I’ve had excellent grades, I was smart, and both of my parents were scientists. Nothing in my life indicated that I wouldn’t successful at it.
And then I got to work in a genetics lab in the university where my professor explored such awesome research topics as characteristics of regulatory subunits of Arabidopsis protein phosphatase. Do you know what Arabidopsis is?
It’s a weed. We literally watched the grass grow. It was so boring. So very, very boring.
It dawned on me that while I loved the end result – being a scientist – I hate the actual grind of it. I hated the smell of autoclave, the endless notes, the mixing of buffers, the operation of the lab equipment. I hated the damn grass. In my head, I expected to, I don’t know, cross apple with a tangerine and create a new fruit. Grow giant carrots. Make a tiger with wings. Something.
I realized than that it wasn’t worth it. Even though I would be doing something important and my parents would be deeply proud of me, it wasn’t worth it. If I became a genetic engineer, I would hate my daily life.
I like writing. When I think about starting Hidden Legacy #4 after the tour, it fills me with a happy anticipation. I’ve been in a place where I dread writing, usually because I am exhausted and the deadline is looming, but most of the time I like sentence by sentence act of putting the story together. It makes me happy. Yesterday, when my husband and I were working the latest installment of our serial, we laughed half of the time, because we kept making it more and more out there. For me, this is where the real joy of it is. How much cool stuff can I cram into one scene?
The signings, the interviews, the ecstatic reviews, and all of the attention is very fleeting. We finished IRON AND MAGIC and it blew everyone’s expectations out of the water in terms of reader receptions and units sold. But that lasted maybe a week. Having written doesn’t last, unless you manage to produce a classic.
And truly, after awhile, the excitement of receiving all of that attention fades. At least it did for me.
So, to circle back, I don’t have a magic answer for you. You can work hard in this business and still fail commercially and critically. But I do know that those who make it in the entertainment industry tend to love what they do. They are the musicians staying up too late to rewrite a song for the twentieth time and drag their equipment into hole in the wall bars just so they can play. They are the artists who rip apart a sketch on which they worked for a month and start over, the actors who rehearse the part over and over, and the writers who spend hours at the keyboard. We do this because we love the process itself. It is compelling, and it makes us fulfilled.
We love the grind.
So my advice is, make sure what is it you truly want. Is it the accolades at the end of the journey or the journey itself? Because if it’s the accolades, it’s honestly not worth it. If it’s the writing itself, keep going. Keep doing what you are doing. Read good books. Rip them apart to figure what works. Write a story that moves you. Submit it. You might “make it” or not, but if it brings you joy, it is time well spent.
That is so true. You have to be so passionate for what you are doing.That the little nitpicking things of life doesn’t kill what you are feeling while your doing the work or writing a book or any kind of job. It has to feed the joy you feel when you are creating your masterpiece or doing the best job you can.
I’m not so sure that you need to be passionate about things; I approach my job more as a thing I do five days a week to earn money to do things I am passionate about. That said, you definitely need to not hate it.
I deliberately decided not to work in areas that I was passionate about because the type of jobs available had day-to-day responsibilities that would have made me miserable.
I hate public speaking. Hate it. I hate dealing with personal politics. I loved the idea of research in my chosen field, but success would have meant being a professor, which means politicking to get tenure and daily public speaking when you teach. And, also, the constant grind to come up with publications. Loved the field. Loved the idea of doing something original. I was good at it. But the day-to-day is what you live.
Even if you’re passionate about it, it’s still work, no matter how much you love it. You still have to get up out of bed and do it every day, or almost anyway. That is why we need vacations.
It’s like that with any profession. I started out in my college education with the goal of being a physician. That didn’t work out, so I got a degree in History. Then, I still couldn’t get healthcare out of my head, I thought about going to law school to be a health lawyer. That didn’t work either. Instead I got a Masters degree in Health Administration and Policy. Then the big kicker (it still amazes me to this day), I got a doctorate in Biostatistics. I am using what I learned in all three of my degrees. So…it’s all about finding what you don’t like and along the way finding out what you do like. Run with what you like…it could become a passion. ?
What a fantastic way to look at a career. It’s a delight to picture the two of you giggling while you write!
I have to agree! The image of the two of you working on your next scene makes me smile.
Your work makes me smile. I’ve been going through a series of hard changes in almost every aspect of my life this year. Changes I’ve chosen. Changes that will make my life better in the long run, but changes that are still difficult to get through in the now. Your work has helped keep me sane. I’ve reread every Edge and Hidden Legacy book you’ve published, and am now working my way back through Kate’s series.
Personally, I am so glad that you found science not to be your cup of tea, because your writing is incredible. Thank you!
This is my favourite blog post of yours, and i love your blog.
I did not read your books for a long time, because they didn’t seem my type of thing from a brief synopsis. I still don’t enjoy books that would be described as similar. But then I read the first Edge book, where Wallmart, magic, and the rural harshness of my childhood met, and now I’ve read all of them. Your love of what you do comes through, and the humour. Rose will always be my favourite though.
I second that!
The Edge series is what pulled me completely into Ilona’s orbit too, although I don’t think Ilona cared for that series much at the time or that’s what I remember reading somewhere. I was disheartened because I loved it!
Rose, Declan, George and Jack! Were my first as well! Found it in the library, and I was hooked. It was such a treat when they went to the inn.
Yes, I love all their books and it was ‘The Edge’ books that started it for me too. My children – male + female – have read them all also ?
George and Jack were definite favourites
I agree with you. I normally don’t read blogs. But how good Ilona and Gordon write really comes through even in a blog. The Edge series introduced me to their books.
I understand about loving “the grind,” since I absolutely do not love the grind of my occupation, although I do love and am proud of the end result. I feel like I racked up so much debt to get a degree for something that is so freaking boring and that I truly do not like (even though everyone else in the same occupation seem to love their jobs)… I really need to get the lead out and find something that I love to do, because this is not working for me at all!
On another note, I love the image of you and Gordon laughing as you write a scene!
Well, that explains all the science stuff in your books.
I’m waiting for Tyklicat (sp?) to jump in with some comment about the joys of watching grass grow. Sounds like something she’s done, too. 😉
Slugs
*coughs*
Tylikcat differentiated, characterized and I think, named her slugs. It would be hard to do that with grass. However she’s moving on to nano robots, now. I don’t know if she will name them too, but I wouldn’t dream of thinking that Tylikcat couldn’t find a way to do it. Though it would be entertaining to read her explanation of how it would be done.
Not actually nano-robots, biologically inspired robots. Closest I’ve gotten to nano tech was when I was doing protein work a bit ago. Most things will be in the order of magnitude of a breadbox, at least the first couple of prototypes.
???
*plaintive* …and I’d like to hear from you?
OMG, you guys. I love you all. What I was about to say* was:
“Do you know what Arabidopsis is?
It’s a weed. We literally watched the grass grow. It was so boring. So very, very boring.”
…OMG, that was totally me in the yeast lab! I did love learning the techniques. And I found the idea of chromatin remodeling fascinating… but once I really got my head around what the day to day work involved, ugh, so not for me. (And yeast grows pretty quickly compared to Arabidopsis.)
* I’ve been on deadline and dealing with both PI and departmental issues. So I read this, but this is the first time I’ve stuck my head in the comments…
And from my first project on, I’ve had a huge amount of scope for running my own projects, doing my own thing, and being as creative as I wanted to be.* (I mean, there were a lot of “So, I have this idea…” discussions.) Even in the situation above, I’d gone to the yeast lab to learn bench skills, and hadn’t managed to separate from the computational protein lab… and V eventually reclaimed me when the boredom got too much.
There is tedium – though it helps that I usually have had a team working for me (even when I was a volunteer. Being a non-traditional student with a management background sometimes helps.) But I can deal with a lot of tedium if I am personally committed to the end product, and more parts of the work are fun and rewarding.
Also, I have to show off the slug cookie cutter.
* Passive aggressive PI’s with separation issues and communication problems aside… And my first PI was amazing.
Bah, wrong button
I realize that is a slug cookie cutter, but if you take away the head part, it looks like a chili pepper cookie cutter. ?
I’m sure with the right decorations, it could pass? I mean, it’s specifically Aplysia californica, but with the right decorations it could totally be a nudibranch – and nudibranchs can look like a lot of things.
That slog cookie cutter is the most awesome thing I’ve seen this week.
Yay! When I first started working with Aplysia I did a random drawing of one, that kind of became a signature – it shows up in all my talks and posters, a version of it is the bullet points for a lot of presentations. (I was learning a new drawing program…) So being able to make cookies is super cheering
This is SO true. About a lot of “artistic” professions. A lot of times, I find people outside the profession don’t really know how hard writing is, how much work beyond the actual writing goes into it. I have run across writers in the indie world who are doing it “just for the money”, and this always baffles me. The sheer amount of work and grind and pressure it can be – to me – means that I have to really LOVE writing to want to do this as a profession. And I do. But even as much as I love the act of telling a story, or shaping words into something meaningful, I still have days when it is a grind, when I have to force myself to sit at my keyboard and write words. I can’t imagine doing that if I didn’t love it. ESPECIALLY “just for the money” because indie or traditionally published, making money at this isn’t easy. Most writers have day jobs for a reason.
By all means, if you are an aspiring author and you love telling stories, don’t quit. Doing what you love is worth it, it really is. Just go into it with your eyes open about the amount of hard work it will take, and the level of commitment not to give up. One of my favorite (and most heartbreaking) stories about one of my favorite authors, Anne McCaffrey, is when an aspiring author met her in real life for the first time. I think this might have been Maggie Stiefvater, but don’t quote me, she breathlessly told Anne how much she loved her work, and that she, too, wanted to be an author. Anne looked up, and said something like “I’m sorry. If you can do anything else, you should.” That story has stuck with me through the years, because it’s so true in a way that people outside the profession probably don’t understand.
Excellent advice! You have to love the creative process and not be afraid to start over. I knit for relaxation and have shocked more than one friend by fearlessly unraveling sweaters. Last winter I took apart two garments, washed the yarn and re-knit them. Tweaked the patterns a little to keep things interesting. 🙂
I always made my new knitting students rip out their practice swatches after they worked on them for awhile (little 3-stitch strips to give them lots of practice at those troublesome first and last stitches). As the cries of angst and despair would rise, I would tell them that ripping is the shadow side of knitting. You can’t truly master knitting without being willing to rip out what you’ve done.
As a side note, when I learned to steek, I was dangerous with a pair of scissors there for a week or so: the bone deep knowledge that I could cut my knitting (carefully) without negative consequences made all my knitted items vulnerable to Extreme Ripping (or perhaps Ultimate Ripping?). I was talked off the ledge a time or two (“Just put the scissors down, ma’am, and step away from those cabled knee socks.”) and thankfully, the urge to administer the Definitive Cut Direct to everything I owned passed. Mostly.
You guys are so generous with your time…I really appreciated this post, as I opened up an old writing file from 2014 today. Before I even saw this. And thought of finishing the story…just for the sake of finishing it. I’m someone who just gets a story in their head and has to write it, and likely the story is, as Chuck Wendig said in his blog on first drafts, “a big pile of steaming rhino dung.” but the point is the writing…in and of itself. I once used a blog to publish pieces of the story at a time, just my friends, really, saw it, and they were so demanding, and not nearly as nice as the Innkeeper audience!! haha… thank you for keeping up what I think is one of the best blogs and author sites going. I actually LIKE to read Innkeeper in installments because otherwise, I stay up and read your books in one night. It’s more fun for me, to be forced to get a little at a time.
I thought I wanted to be a lawyer. I got a degree in political science and a paralegal certification. The second because I dreamed of eating while I got my degree. I worked as a paralegal for two miserable years. I quickly learned that I hated lawyers and the profession. I got a Masters in Libary Science instead and spent 25 very happy years as a children’s librarian. I lived for the story times when all the faces were looking at me mouths agape as they listened or sang along while bopping field mice and giggled. I loved being a part of the decisions that changed libraries forever as the digital age took over. Now I love the puzzles my college students bring me. I love the profession and even the everyday grind brings satisfaction. If writing does that for you, then do it. The happy comes when you get that review or comment that it gave someone pleasure or maybe when a librarian tells you they recommend your book.
I’m just so glad to hear that we didn’t completely destroy the joy of Innkeeper for you. I was worried there for a bit.
10 more days! I’m planning a vacation reading day. ❤️
I’m now retired, so every day is a vacation reading day.
This morning I started with, “Questionable Client,” and I’m going to re-read all the Kate books,,, finishing up with, “Magic Triumphs,” when it comes out.
Then I’m going to buy all the books written by the person who wrote, “Jane Doe,” and read those.
Life is good when you have books.
I only have jobs to pay the bills and the cost of all the “that looks interesting” things I’d like to try. Knitting is a no-go, single crochet rugs, ceramics, project sewing for bags, clothes, and blankets, and furniture painting. Learning to paint an actual painting is on the list and I saw, and spoke to, a lady with a lap loom that I am really interested in learning about. I sit a lot in my elder care jobs and that would fit into a large tote bag. Having to slap my hands and stay away from the store. So, find your passion and go for it!
Thank you!
I – like so many of us! – am very glad that you like what you do, as your sense of humor in things often lifts me out of a bad day. Really. Your snippets of Sweep helped me this summer when I totaled my truck, filled with all the stuff needed for a medieval re-enactment (and that includes a lot of poles and canvas) in Kentucky, about 900 miles from home.
Your generosity with what you give us is amazing, so I am glad that you not only like it, you have fun with it.
That is why I so love grant writing as my profession. I was like you Illona, I wanted to be a doctor for the reason of helping people, not actually being a doctor. I worked in a hospital for a year in college and hated. I learned not only did I not like the grind, I didn’t even like sick people.
I feel into grant writing as a career and love it. I love the research part of it, the thinking of ways to make the project or program sound exciting to the reviewer and most especially knowing that what I am doing makes a difference in someone else’s life. Sure I am super happy when I get a grant funded, because I know what I wrote moved someone enough that they are willing to give me their money, but it pales in a day or two. It’s really helping others and finding the perfect way to say something that makes me happy and feel fulfilled.
Ilona, you just described my experience as a science graduate student to a tee. I’m lucky I’m a stubborn gaI, or I would never have made it through the degree. Such a difference it makes, choosing a path for yourself rather than blindly pursuing the one that is expected of you! Of course, being able to put bread on the table also helps.
Wanting to be a writer to do a book signing is like wanting to be a doctor to save a life. Sure, it might happen, but that’s not what the daily grind is going to be. Being a writer is great, best job I’ve ever had, but that’s because I like living in my imagination. I’ve got friends who want to be writers, but they don’t want to write. They just want to have written. Not the same thing.
“When I think about [you] starting Hidden Legacy #4 after the tour, it fills me with a happy [greedy] anticipation.”
“Let it go on that last one, by the way. One of the first things I realized when we go published – nobody except us cared”
May the gods give me the solution to this one.
I know in their way my family loves me. And I also know I couldn’t ask for more.
Will they ever stop asking me to shape myself in a way that makes them easier to love me? Probably not. It hurts. I’m fine.
I hope moving on gets easier some time.
On a nuts and bolts level, a writer has to understand and use the 3P’s. Plot, People and Prose. In other words the book needs to have good interesting compensated people that react according to their life experience. Plot, where the story is going, and what type of story is being told. And finally the ability to string words together in a coherent interesting manner. Bonus points if additional layers of meaning can be layered into simple statements..
I’d advise a baby writer to read anything about writing on the Ilona Andrews blog. Then there is a website called Magical Words, where a number of writers share their experience for free to anyone who visits the site. Go back into the archives and read all the Faith Hunter posts on writing, some date from 2014.
Good luck
We care , about the books, about the authors and I care about every BDH .
I am so grateful that you and Gordon became writers . You have given me immense pleasure reading all of your work .
My mother was dying when you started the Innkeeper series. I don’t even know how I found your blog. But I remember Reading each chapter, plus potato chips , chocolate and my cats kept me going. It was an anchor to the outside world. I can’t remember anything else about that year as clearly as I remember Bruno the dog .
Thank you.
And I am so excited about Hidden legacy 4 .
And I don’t think the lees poisoned Helen.
While a schoolchild, I achieved a ‘commendation’ after submitting an amateurish critique of a TV series, as a competition entry, to the BBC. Cue excitement !! – Err, not. Any inspiration I felt, had disappeared over the many months it took to receive that note..
It was clear even then , though I had occasional dreams of writing books, it wasn’t for me. I simply couldn’t put my ideas down successfully on paper….
In the end it took three decades to discover what really ‘floated my boat’ and I was fortunate to follow that career until retirement. Teaching as it happened….
In summary, I have always been a reader – mostly of SF – but in recent years discovered Urban Fantasy and related genres… I am hugely grateful for your books, as they feed my need for mental/spiritual(?) entertainment…Long may you both continue to enjoy writing…
I love this post SO much. You have exactly captured the secret to loving one’s career. It puts into words why I love my job so much–because I find the grind (in my case, doing legal research and writing appellate briefs in criminal appeals) fun and immensely satisfying.
This resonated with me SO much. I became a translator because I loved the idea of it, but I quit after one year – I was good at what I did, one of the best translators that company had had, but the thought of doing that job for 20 years literally gave me a panic attack.
Now I’m children’s librarian. I LOVE doing reader’s advisory, purchasing new books, and doing story times. I really love weeding – the act of removing books from the collection – and I even like cleaning the picture books. I adore circulation stats, and can tell you the average item turnover per year for every section of children’s. I can usually guess how well any given new book will circ and how many copies we should own. It’s not a glamorous job, and it’s underpaid in most cities – but I love going to work. I can’t imagine feeling that way about writing – if I did, I’d be an author too. 😀
I love this blog, possibly because I do know what arabidopsis is. I’ve noticed in the past that your writing of science makes me the least nuts of any author or TV show, and that is probably due to your actual lab experience. So I guess my point is that even when you’re discovering what you don’t want to do, the experience can still help a seemingly unrelated passion.
And they is why I love your work! I read so many books a year I can barely remember what books I read the previous month…and I truly cannot remember most of the books that I read last year. There are however, a few authors whose work touches me in a profound way, the words reaching something inside of me until I am no longer reading a book, I am receiving a priceless gift.
I have read many different genres, but for the last 9 years, Urban Fantasy brings me the most pleasure. Following a severe emotional trauma 24 years ago, I became severely depressed and was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder. For the next 15 years I struggled with alternating periods of suicidality and self harm, occasionally interrupted by days or weeks of impulsive, shameful and often dangerous behavior and psychosis…and seemingly endless hospital stays. During those 15 years I could not read more than a paragraph or two of a magazine article. The love of books that had sustained me through a very painful and traumaric childhood and abuse during my teen years, was taken from me. No matter how hard I tried, I could not concentrate hard enough to hold onto the information I tried to read. I would start a book, one that I had read many times previously, and I could not get past the first page or two. I would have to reread the same few paragraphs over and over again to refresh my memory as to what I had just read.
It broke my heart.
Then, in November of 2009, shortly after moving into our first home, a friend gave me a copy of Twilight and urged me to try and read it. 5 years earlier we had moved from the area I was born and raised in, to a new state and new job for my husband. As terrifying as that move was, it proved to be an excellent decision for my mental health. Being away from many of the things that triggered my depression helped me more than any previous medications or treatments had. The other thing that was key to my improvement was my obsession with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Something in that show resonated with me and rewatching the series, over and over,(along with Angel and Firefly), collecting the trading cards and meeting other collectors on ebay, had begun pulling me out of my deep depression. My friend felt that I should read Twilight the book, as I had really disliked Twilight the movie, and she insisted the books were so much better. So she gave me a copy and after letting it sit on my nightstand for months, sure that I would not be able to read it, I decided to try. I devoured it! I requested the other 3 books for Christmas and I finished all three by New Years day.
And my love for Urban Fantasy was born.
Although there are many UF authors that I really love and enjoy, only a handful reach me the way you do. I have reread all of your series multiple times and I enjoy them every bit the 9th or 10th time as I did the 1st time.
I think it is your love of writing that transforms a book from mere words on paper to a joyful experience. I believe many authors enjoy writing and are blessed with a creative imagination, but only a handful actually pour a bit of themselves into their stories, inviting their readers to not just read the book, but to experience it.
Thank you for sharing your love of writing with those of us who love to read….you truly are giving us a priceless gift.
*sorry that was so long!
Yay for Buffy!
I’m so glad that you found what makes you happy!
Also thank you for this post, as I am still deciding my future. I’m studying biotechnologies and liking it, but I’m really afraid I won’t like my daily job (whatever it will be haha). When I think about the possibilities I can’t wait to work, but I fear it will be boring, like it was for you… I just hope to find the job that makes me happy!
❤️
I took one of those “write children’s books” tests, and found out that I’m a much better reader than a writer. The one short story that popped into my head nearly whole, I wrote down and showed my mother. She liked it. I was happy. That was enough for me.
My favorite part of the newspaper is the editorial section. Having the skill to do that would be awesome!! (Maybe in my next life time…!?)
Well said! As the artist who has ripped many a sketch and burned lots of paintings (very cathartic) it really comes down to loving the process. Every piece I complete teaches me something, especially the failures, and I find myself slowly inching towards complete awesomeness. (or at least artistic competency)
I couldn’t continue to create if I was not completely obsessed, committed and in love with the artistic process. It’s kind of like a relationship.
I’m glad you are enjoying writing the serial again…that’s all I wanted to say.
Oh my gosh I had a similar experience w science. I adore the concepts and the learning and the sense of discovery but i learned real quick that I hate lab work and the repetition of it with a passion. That is not just a no that’s a heck no. Yes every job is essentially repeating some variety of task but what that task is matters. Big.
I also get filled with happy anticipation when I think about you starting Hidden Legacy #4 ?
I graduated from college with a degree in Botany and Genetics. My first job was as a supervisor on a sugar plantation in Hawaii. It took 4 years to realize I really disliked watching cane grow. I loved the people and islands but hated my job. I finally quit, went back to school and got a degree in electrical engineer. I never regretted working in agriculture, but my first love was engineering. After 35 years as an engineer, I retired and am looking forward to a new career as a volunteer. You have to enjoy your career or you will be miserable
As a part-time artist, I had to come to a point in my life where I came to terms with the fact that a day-job will pay the bills, put a roof over my head and pay for the art supplies I need to make me happy. I might not like my day-job, but I give it my all regardless because it’s my ticket to enjoy my off time.
I made peace with the fact that being ‘discovered’ as an artist is 10% talent, 90% luck and social climate. You could be making fantastic realism pieces you love to bits and get shot down gallery after gallery because it’s not what people are interested in at the time. Then you have a choice; do you adapt to the current climate to satisfy the masses, or continue making paintings you love in your spare time? I chose the latter route. Choosing the first option does not mean you are a failure as an artist, it means you are smarter than I am and way more adaptable ?
Choose what works for you, and what makes you happy.
and another ping with my heart, I too am a scienece drop out, I got my degree in chemical engineering, plant and process specifically, and even during studies I realised it wasn´t for me.
unfortunately i listened to my familiy and just tried the job.
hated it with a passion 60h+ a week and no passion is toture.
one breakdown and 8years later I finally start to come back to life and starting my own bussiness, a small restaurant, because I love cooking for people and working in the kitchen.
thanks to my husband I could take the time,
the first Kate book is one of the first real memories I have after my break,
thank you so much for that and charing so much with us
sorry for any misspellings i am german
to the bdh reallising i am not alone with my problems also helped quite a bit thank you
Yes. The realization every one else has problems too is empowering.
The BDH is very fortunate that you have found you and Gordon have found each other and as the wonderful, devious, delightful Authorlords have given us so much comfort and joy. You are one of the authors whose books I go back to for comfort on a bad day.
New paragraph to make it easy for people to skip this and move on to the next comment. To explain adequately what a gift you are and by my standards very successful, you need context. I’m an Aspie who didnt get officially diagnosed until my mid fifties. Books have always been my thing. I taught myself to read at an adult level while I was flunking Kindergarten. Dead serious about that. I was so clumsy and uncoordinated that I had difficulty with basic functions like tying shoes and learning to print in a legible fashion. I had a serious speech impairment (needed 3 years of speech therapy in grade school) so few people could understand me or took the trouble to try when it was obvious that I was mentally retarded (this was the 60s) until I was able to master printing and prove that I had above average academic skills. It was also difficult to get me to pay attention in class. My only good memory of school was an amazing second grade teacher who kept me after school and taught me to skip. It took weeks. Being smart made me a bigger target than being retarded. I was “teased” verbally and physically until I lost it and fisticuffs ensued. Considering that I was a girl fighting boys and on the small side, I think that my success as a fighter was due to the fact that I was incapable of quitting no matter how badly I was hurt and there was a limit on how much damage they were willing do to a girl whilst I would use any object that came to hand, including rocks and picking up and throwing a bicycle when it was 3 against 1. I was robbed of my paper route money at 13 by two 16 year old boys and chased them trying to bludgeon them with my collection book which featured half inch diameter screws that extended past the book by about 3 inches until they ditched the money, abandonded ther bikes and ran home to mommy – one of last customers on my route – who blamed me for her boy being arrested. It was my fault for looking like easy prey with a bag full of cash. My dexterity issues never improved. I couldn’t graduate until I met the minimum standard for typing and shorthand. In the 70s with a blue collar background, I ended up in secretarial school not college. I blundered into becoming a new fangled paralegal while on probation as a legal secretary when I asked the token female attorney in our department a complicated legal question which proved that I had picked up enough legal concepts by reading what I typed to realize that the municipal bond prospectus was factually incorrect before it was sent to the printer thus saving the firm and our client thousands of dollars from possible lawsuits for fraud. That is how I found what I’m good at. So reading has been a huge part of my personal and professional life. Enough so that I had an embarrassing meltdown in an ER recently while I was in an area where cell phone use was prohibited. I’d stopped carrying paper backs since using my phone as an eReader. The had to track down a paper back for me from a staffer who has a son who is an Aspie so she understood it’s importance. I realized that was the first time in my life when I didn’t have access to a book and that left me unable to function. I’ve acquired people skills – it seems my efforts to fake it were “behavior modification” – and learned to make people laugh on purpose instead of by accident. Much to my surprise, now that I stopped trying to be normal, most people like me. I’ve read thousands of books, forgotten most of them and reread your books more times than I can count. The edge series, hidden legacy and inn keepers are my go to when the world is too hard to handle. I love Kate, but it’s a bit dark for comfort although the cooking for Curran scene has to be close to the ferret heist. Now that I’ve found them, I love the BDH. That makes you both extremely successful by my standards.
Dear Susie Q, I am so glad you find the BDH so supportive. I thoroughly enjoy the exchange of opinions, speculation, and analysis in the supportive environment that our Authorlords mandate on their blog. I believe that if I ever had the opportunity to actually meet other BDH members we would find we have interests in common to discuss.
I don’t know very much about the reality of Aspergers’ on learning for an Aspie person but I found your story fascinating and admire your determination and courage.
Like you I enjoy the Kate books but don’t reread them as often as I read Innkeepers, Hidden Legacy etc. My all time favourite read is Silver Shark. I suspect Maud’s story Sweep of the Blade may rival it in my affections in the future!
Warm best wishes from this member of the BDH.
Have you read The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion? The hero has aspergers. Wonderful story.
Sounds like my life! Molecular genetics degree, start of my PhD and so so soooo boring looking down a microscope all day and running ELISA assays. The thinking interested me, then end product. I also liked being a student. So off I toddled to medical school. Reaching the top in two specialities later I discovered that I actually don’t really like patients. They don’t do as they are told and often don’t help themselves. So now I apply my multiple degrees to anything from books to pension funds. All the intellectual fun and none of the drama.
? I wish you could say that to those who get into medical school and want to leave but thinking they can’t because it would make them feel awful to family and friends.
When I was a teaching assistant to the Biostatistics department, I always asked prospective medical school students why did they want to go to medical school. The answers varied.
My evilest most burnt out students and residents are the ones who never really wanted it for the right reasons. It’s bad enough with the right reasons, without it–horrific.
I try and talk everyone out of it, and later at least make sure people end up in the best specialty for them, not their parents or their bank accounts.
Thank you. That is what I must absolutely say first to you.
What you said about journey vs the end result hit very close to home for me. I recently had a couple life-altering changes and I’ve been having to make some hard decisions about my personal and professional life. It has not been easy and I keep wanting to steer myself down a road that will, yes be sucessful, but extremely ungratifying. So, thank you. I honestly felt relief when I read this blog post. I can’t articulate what exactly hit home for me or if it was an accumulation of everything but it was eye-opening. Just so you are aware, I intead to share what you’ve said to a women’s veteran’s group I am apart of. I think there are others who would benefit from this. Please keep up the great work! I am always looking forward to whatever creations you put forth.
Thank you Ilona. I appreciate your unwavering honesty on this blog, on being real in a world of artifice, frustration, joy and hope. I admire how you always show up and are so generous. I hope that I get to attend one of your signings one of these days and tell you in person, but until then, I just want to wish you healthy, happy, joyous, creative and pain free!
I have to laugh, since I also did some work with arabadopsis. Epigenetic crap. No wonder I love you. At least it has flowers, grass isn’t that interesting. Why didn’t we just do fruit flies?
To be honest I loved the advice as it is spot on. You have to love or at least like the daily grind of your job. The glory moments will not make up for it. Says a teacher who had spent her entire free time this summer rewriting her entire units by choice. However, what I am really walking away with is Hidden Legacy #4!!!! When can I preorder??? I need something to look forward to!!!
Wise woman, well said.
I grew up wanting to be an author and now I’m a genetic engineer! Arabidopsis is the worst though that is very true. Tbh I’m not keen on plants in general. Bacteria are where it’s at!
Mom!
Mother…
Ma 000mmm!
These are the words of someone who nourishes, teaches enlightens and shares
Desparately wants …
define what that means to you and then pursue it
learn what that is live what that is then grow what that is
and you do all that by doing what you want to be
I so enjoyed your answer not least for how I could apply it to what I want. Thank you f or giving of your time.
Well done outstanding author Lord’s. How many hundreds of times have you been asked that same question? People never get the insane level of work. Reading iron and magic and the smiths sharing nugget of highly specific metal lore and highly specific tests needed to be run. Maybe 10 sentences total. Yet epic in level of detail scientific know
Ledge. Not only was it beautifully written but deep dish information too. People think that stuff just happens by wishing and wanting instead of working.
You’re section about how you became an author is very inspiring.
I’ve never been published, but I write constantly. I have a blog and tons of short stories and several long novels, but I hate the idea of publishing. The past I life is when then characters come alive in my head and I can’t stop until ink meets paper. Being a writer of fiction is what I want most, but it’s not my day job and I’m not exactly great lol. Instead I’m in law enforcement. I don’t think being published and awarded is a true goal for a beginning author anyway. It’s more getting it down and finished. Without typos (heh.)
In defense of families not being properly appreciative:
I have this problem with my brother, but it’s not what he thinks. He’ll tell me about some fabulous achievement and I am happy but not impressed. It’s not impressive because I already know he’s awesome and great at what he does.
I know better than him how fabulous he is, so when he says he’s done something fabulous all I can think is, “of course you have, you’re fabulous”. The sun rises, my baby brother is fabulous, the universe continues on.
Sometimes, the fact that people aren’t impressed should tell you what they think of you. I am rarely impressed by the AL’s external achievements because I already know they are that good. To me, being on the NYT Bestseller list doesn’t come close exemplifying what they really do for the BDH.
You see in the comments people who are buoyed through chemo, or loss of a parent, or serious life challenges. Some of us need it when we take life hit, or not. The stories the BDH tells are amazing.
Y’all are fabulous everyday, and the fact that sometimes it’s not obvious, may just be proof of how highly you are esteemed.
Thank you!
+1
Well said!!
Intended to leave a quick thank you to the AL for the great blog post and the importance of loving the grind (also true for me in my IT job — I love the day to day grind of figuring out how to fix things/make them work) but ended up in sniffles reading all the comments. Love the AL and the BDH.
BIBLIOCRACK!!!!
(Just because it’s my new favorite word)