I overslept, and my day started with an outraged cat.
Over the past few days, a road crew has been working on the street next to our house. They are repaving it. The road is closed, and Gordon observed the workers having heated words with a driver of a delivery truck this morning. We might be trapped today.
Because of the road crew, we are keeping Tuna inside. Tuna started life as a stray who wandered randomly around an apartment complex, and breaking him of wanting to go outside is impossible. He has two acres here, and he is very much the lord of his domain. Today His Majesty was refused access to the outside. The inability to inspect his lands didn’t sit well, so he made himself into a nuisance.
Tuna: Pet me! Pet me! Pet me! Look, I meow by the door. Open door. OPEN DOOR.
Me, trying to clean up: No.
The allergies have been terrible, and neither of us is sleeping that well. I was shopping for some Halls cough drops and saw that instead of puny bags, they now come in full scale large jars. Of course, I bought a jar. It was delivered yesterday with saline spray and Flonase, and being too tired, I plopped all of that on my writing tray in the office. I need the tray to write.
Me, gathering items to take to the medicine cabinet.
Tuna: TREATS.
Me: No, you fool. These are not Temptation treats.
Tuna: TREATS.
Me: It’s cough drops!
Tuna: If not treats, why treat shaped? TREATS.
I gave him treats. The vet will fuss at me again over his weight, but there are limits to human patience.
I come to you with a mission this morning. The book is now 185K. It is very clear that there is no room left for anything else in our lives. I still have not unpacked. Or sent things out. Mod R will have strong words with me here soon if I keep failing.
We need assistance, or we will never get the shop back off the ground, and our time is better spent writing. To that end, we hired a designer to help us turn the treasure trove of art into merch. Here is some of her work.
These bookmarks will be included in the media package. We have secured a printer for the vellum, so we will be bringing to you a media pack with vellum, stickers, and bookmarks.
Do you have any favorite quotes or moments you want reflected in This Kingdom merch? Please leave us a comment below. If you are dying for something from the other series, you can throw it in there too, but we are focusing on This Kingdom as it is the latest release.
The comment section to this post contains SPOILERS. Read at your own risk.
my two favourite quotes are from Everard:
“When it happens—and it will—remember, you forced my hand.”
and
“It is a fine, long-standing tradition in my family to not give a fuck about what the Savarics think. I plan to continue it.”
+1!
+1
+1
Those are good!
+1
These quotes!!! Can I please count this comment as +10 votes! Lol.
The picture of Tuna and Gordon in the stare off is hilarious. 🤣🤣🤣
Spoiler: The cat is winning…
💯
Always.
As they always do…..
There are a lot of great quotes, and you don’t even have to know the context for them!
“You have me. I don’t know the future, but I know the present, and I’ve decided to walk this path with you.”
“Bless your heart.”
“And that means?”
“‘Eat dirt and die.’”
“Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”
“Survive, get paid.”
+1 ! I love all these!
+1
These are some of the best quotes and work without book knowledge. one can be an inconspicuous member of the BDH this way. Just working in the office. Sweep. Sweep.
+1 and for sure on the reasoning.
These all for big mugs, so I can drink my black coffee like a psychopath (thank you Roman) in the surgeons lounge
Perfect!
Survive, get paid.
I need this on a T-shirt.
Also, I may be addicted to Tuna Vision.
“Survive, get paid”, definitely needs to be a t-shirt!
yes
Yes
+1!!!!
Definitely!
+1
yes! my new life motto 🤣
I need this on a large mug for work. +200
+1 “Survive, Get Paid”
YES, definitely would be awesome on a t-shirt!
Yes! Those are great!
Love all of these especially survive, get paid. lol. I need that on a mug.
All of these but for the Survive, Get Paid one have the other side say No Risk, No Gold
yes!! I’d want it to have both parts
‘no risk, no gold’ and ‘survive, get paid’
+1
+1
can be T-shirt and moks
for the T-shirt
front = survive, get paind
back = no risk, no gold
+1! gotta have both parts.
+1
+1
+1
+1
+1
+1 YES, gotta have both parts!!
Agree, both parts
+1
+1
+1
I’m retired. so I want the “Good morning. I see the assassins have failed.” on a large mug.
but I agree these are all great quotes. I’m definitely saving my pennies for a bookmark set.
Thank you for setting this up
I want that one too.
I want that one too. Though I love the survive. Get Paid on one side of the mug and No risk, no gold.
+1 to all the quote mugs, but especially this one
+1 Love these!
“I see the assassins have failed” gets my vote!
:))))
The “eat dirt and die” did it for me :)))))
These are great!!
That “Bless Your Heart” quote is for everyone in the Southern United States. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I love “Bless your heart” quote. Also “assassins have failed”
Favorite: Survive. Get paid.
+1 🙂
living in the south, kinda want a shirt of this.
“Bless your heart.”
“And that means?”
“‘Eat dirt and die.’”
bonus if the Bless your ❤️ is in the front and the rest on the back. 🤣
+1 Perfect!
love the assassins failed quote!!
+ 1 to all of those, the first two were the one I was trying to remember, and third is great.
The assassins one has been done before, so I’m not sure. I love “Survive, get paid”; short, sweet and applicable to many instances:)
YES! These!! !!! !!!! V
+1
Absolutely “Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.” is the best. I would love to have mug, book mark and bookbag, and maybe an accent pillow with that.
Assassins and Survive are great. Either would be good on a shirt or mug too
Survive get paid is the most clever and gangsta.
“That was my idea, I came up with that”. My favorite quote from our clueless golden knight.
Maybe a little more context, but otherwise, yes, that’s a really good one.
+1
lol – loved that
Laughed out loud at that! So proud of his reign of destruction. He is hiding his spoiled evil behind his pretty face
Will it be fresh enough, Maggie?
+1
omg, yes ,this one too! 😂
+1
+1
Yes this one!
+1 🤣
Absolutely. LOVE. This one. So clever. And I think this is one of the moments when he realizes how clever she is.
I love this quote too
YES!!!!!
😂 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I must have that Soap Queen bookmark.
Maggie’s Soap Queen quote would be a short and funny one for a bookmark. So many of my favorite quotes are 3+ paragraphs.
+1
+1
haha me too, so many are rather long!!
Allergies are hitting hard in Texas. Try Fisherman’s Friend. Honey lemon cough drops. Strong but they will open your sinuses and stop the cough. You can get them on Amazon. Hopefully Tuna can return to land inspection tomorrow.
I swear by Fisherman’s Friends! I wish they came by the tub full.
Sorry for the crudeness but “Fuck ‘em” is my favorite quote 🤣
Maybe
“The Fuck’em Knight”
for completeness.
Yes!🤣
Remember my name and wait for me.
❤️ Yes!
Love this one!
Yes!
“wait for me”
“maybe”
I giggle just thinking about it.
❤️omg yes
Spectacular! +1
Yes, this one too! Also maybe just “Bless your heart”- so many of us aren’t even American yet we all know what it means 😜
This is a proper rescue!
+1
Seriously love the Gordon/Tuna stare-off.
My weather app tells me every day that pollen is increasing. Evidently in my part of Texas we also import pollen from New Mexico. 🙄
Folks have picked some great quotes. (+1 on all of Molly Froerer’s picks.) For some reason, one of my favs:
“Apparently, Lute didn’t just hold grudges, he cuddled them and tucked them in at night.” I would not be adverse to merch that says “Cuddles grudges and tucks them in.”
I like the full quote.
Love this one! “Cuddles grudges and tucks them in.”
I like the abridged version of the quote because then I can warn others that I too might cuddle my grudges, tucked them in again night
I can’t recall the grudge quote!!! A reread is required!! 🤣
poor grudge- it needs a cuddle.
It’s when Digi comes to visit and asks after her siblings, the third crime.
+ 1
perhaps on a cushion or sweatshirt
+1
+1
My father only had one grudge in his life and he cuddled it for 50 years of his 80+ years. It was against his younger brother; he was always civil to him but he did cuddle that grudge. Lol. they did reconcile before they both died, which was good to see. This quote made me laugh out loud in remembrance of my father’s cuddling.
+1
few lines I loved…
Put a hot dude in armor with a sword on the cover, and my eyes glazed over while my hand crept to the BUY button, budget be damned.
“You have me, Maggie,” he said. “I don’t know the future, but I know the present, and I’ve decided to walk this path with you. As long as you will have me by your side, I won’t allow anyone to harm you.”
My favorite was: “And for the record, you give me too little credit. I would take great care with your heart, Sol.”😂
I love this quote!!
+1
Definitely one of my favorites!
+1000000
The Recipe bookmark has a typo, methinks. Sorry.
185K words? OMG.
Thank you, this is just a draft concept 🙂
Understood. Should have known you’d be on top of it. I honestly don’t know how you and the Author Lords keep all this stuff straight with your workloads.
I have waded through David Webber. Don’t threaten me with a good time LOL.
I read the eBooks and knew it was a commitment with 10 books when recommended by a friend. Half way through the first one I was like…. wait…. how am I not at least through book one yet? Checked the page length and started laughing maniacally – yes each book is over 800 pages and I tore through them.
And I would absolutely do the same for any House Andrews books 🙂 I read TONS of genres and HA hits all of my faves so far 🙂 I know this isn’t for everyone one, but for me? Bring it!
+1
+1
Thanks horde – now I have to reread Maggie AGAIN just to check for all the great quotes and find some more!
And for the record: I for one do like the increasing numbers on the wordcount.
Yes, all of the above.
I’m terrible at quotes, I think 4 or 5 rereads should do the trick 😂
And I love many of the ones mentioned above, “Remember my name” is an epic one and also the quote about not knowing the future but being in the present
A while ago, you had a mockup of a mug that had what looked like the Demarr crest on it, a dagger with three moons. I don’t need any more mugs, but I really want that one.
Same! I feel like this is in danger of becoming my new Hogwarts house
Oooh, yes, and with the caption: “We come at night and stab you”. 😁
+1
+💯
+1 House crests
I’m almost sure I’ve already asked for a mug with the Demarr crest on another thread, but also international shipping:)
I like a few different quotes cause they would express the kind of day that is happening:
“Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”-it is a good day
“Survive, get paid”-just need to get through
“Cuddle the grudges and tuck them in at night”-something has gone wrong
“Fuck’em”- The world needs to burn and start over
stickers, cups, mugs, possible t-shirt
I like the idea of all 4 with checkboxes
Love this ^^^
Ooh, yes!
Me, too.
+1,000
+10^100 these with checkboxes on a t-shirt!
Yeeeesss.
+1
+1 to all these
Thank you, Becky, for giving voice to something I didn’t know I needed but now need desperately……
Or, “I cuddle grudges and tuck them in at night.”
My new motto: “Beware! I cuddle grudges and tuck them in at night”
I love this idea !
the one with the check marks!
Yes!!
You win! +1
I looove this. I NEED this tshirt/coffee mug/any sort of merch! Great quotes 😁
Sounds like this needs to be one of the mugs that change colour/quote as the mug gets warmer or colder.
I would love a new Roman mug “only cops and psychopaths drink their coffee black” as mine walked away to pastures unknown at work
I totally quote that to people that don’t want to fast for their blood work. 🤣 They complain that they can’t have their coffee black. It took until now to remember where I got that quote from. ❤️
Sorry for the loss but still had to laugh. I think my favorite mug did the same. It said: Science is my life. Kill me now.
I had a t-shirt that said, “Reasons to be a science major.” The number 1 reason was “So we can read and understand the ingredients of Spam.” 😂😂😂😂
“Please have no fear. I do not intend to pursue you, my lord. I’d promise that I have no desire to end your chastity, but, as you’ve assured me, that dursan flew long ago.”
I would go for simply, “That dursan flew long ago”, with, of course a picture of a dursan…
Yes, for sure.
That IS an outstanding reply!!
“Yes! All the seduction!”
“Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”
“Survive, get paid.”
As one also suffering from allergies (mine include cats and dogs unfortunately) I salute you.
Holy (double) hundred thousand word range! Every time the count ticks up, I both feel your pain and squee with joy. HA effin rocks.
Also, I upvote Molly Froehrer’s any-context quotes, particularly, “Survive, get paid.” and “Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”
I cannot wait for Maggie 2 and have no chill 🙃
Are we reaching WOT territory?
I wish…
Tuna: I will make myself so obnoxious that you will THROW me outside!
My Felix is so skittish that after nearly 6 years in this house, he will *occasionally* pass me in the hallway instead of running the other direction. Right now, a handy man is replacing our railing and his saw is outside on the porch. The door is standing open when he goes back and forth. I closed the door to my office/the master bedroom because 1) noisy! and 2) open door, even though Felix has been cowering in the bedroom for the last week. The door was closed for 10 minutes before Felix was over there yelling about it. If I open the door, he will run away and hide again but restricted access to anywhere must be protested.
This isn’t a quote but I love Candice Slater’s art. I would love to have a bookmark and other merch that features her artwork!
“Religious extremists rarely had room for compassion. They were too busy making their religion into everyone else’s problem.”
Love that line!
+1
So extreme they cut half my bame off 😉
+1
1+
YES! This one is perfect for our times and lives. I have it on an index card (in my crappy handwriting).
All the quotes are great – and just think of all the possibles not yet suggested.
Please be sure to put identifying info “Ilona Andrews,” or “This Kingdom Will Not Kill Me” (but it’s rather long), on all the T-shirts, and squeeze it on cups or wherever if possible, so folks who haven’t found HA yet have a clue as to where to find the goodness!
Your books are wonderful. They are so satisfying as they take us through the range of emotions and experiences. Very re-readable, too. The merch just piles on the fun. We of the Hoard are so thankful to be the beneficiaries of your shining talents and drive to write. Thank you.
Very well said Miriam!
+1
Yes yes yes!
I see you intend to turn your interest in me into my problem
For the love of the Aspects!
+1
+1
+1
Ooh, another great quote!
my favorites quote is still: “Good morning. I see the assassins have failed.”
Glad to see Tuna remains in fine fettle!
My fave so far:
“Well,” he said. “‘Undying’ is a bit of a misnomer, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but ‘dying horribly and then waking up in a lot of pain’ is a bit of a mouthful.”
+1
+1
“Your welcome has been withdrawn” because that was straight from Innkeeper and made me gasp. Also, one of the ridiculous names Solentine threw out when guessing Maggie’s actual first name ended up being another characters name at the ball. That was hilarious.
I saw the name thing last night on my reread and almost chocked. I genuinely thought he was just being silly with the names
Sympathize with the allergies; I take Nettles supplements with the generic Claritin(used to include generic Flonase, but it began to raise my BP after so many years). If you all have a natural based pharmacy such as Natural Grocers, has these ‘Regional’ homeopathic drops/sprays that may help( I’d have to use at least 2 different formulas to cover mine, IF I remembered to pick them up). You might consider constructing a Catio enclosure, so if any of your cats aren’t supposed to actually go out, they’d still be able to Be outside. Gordon should have opened one of those cough drops and let Tuna smell it, to persuade him that it wasn’t a Treat. the ‘man to man’, human/cat standoff is very funny! “Catnip, anyone? Perhaps some cat-grass, monsieur?” Have also seen there are wheels/treadmills for cats…!
It’s hard to pick favourite quotes, there are so many great ones.
“‘Three hours after we met, you sold yourself into slavery and then died’ Well, yes, it sounded bad when he put it that way.”
“What’s scarier than a rabid honey badger in human form? A rabid honey badger in human form who is your loyal cousin.”
“You made it seem as if I have much more influence over you than I do.” “I believe I’m the ultimate authority on the amount of influence you have over me.”
“We have a bigger problem.” Solentine spun me the same way Arvel had, giving me a glimpse of the northern side of the room. Black smoke coiled around Everard. It was barely visible, but it was there, snaking around his chest and arms. His eyes were a bright piercing green. “He’s smoking,” I ground out. “I’ve noticed. No man wants Arvel as a rival.”
The first three are my favorites as well!
Hmm. Let’s see…there’s another of my favorite characters who is also a “honey badger”. Honey badgers must have quite a rep.
Honey Badgers take on much larger creatures than themselves. Its become a bit of a meme in some circles, it’s crazy to watch.
“No risk no gold”
“Looking for a lightning rod to scorch”
My highlights:
“Maggie, you need to live in someone else’s head for a bit.”
Fuck it.
“One day, if we become friends, I might explain.”
“Do I look like a noble?” I asked under my breath.
“Yes,” Reynald told me. “Green suits you, Maggie.”
“Survive, get paid.”
“Is he dead?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Are you sure?”
“He’s as dead as any corpse I’ve ever seen.”
“So we can’t question him?”
“Maggie, he doesn’t have a face anymore.”
“Oh.”
I was right. I was right, I was right, I was right. I hadn’t screwed up. I would do a victory dance, except if I tried to stand right now, I’d probably fall over.
I really like the “You need to live in someone else’s head for a bit” quote for, like, a book-printed mug so everyone knows what the quote is referring to.
The others are funny and delightful, but are inside jokes… this one lets the perceiver get a peek into the joke, too.
+1
+1
+1
+1 is he dead/can’t question him
I’m no help. I love everything everyone else has suggested. 😂 And the Gordon/Tuna stare down is a hoot.
I’ll throw in a vote for “Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”
+1
(as I look across the room at my awesome Ripper Cushion pillow)
Surprised I haven’t seen it here yet, but my votes for a bookmark would be Maggie’s leather and lace comment to Everard (however it best fits on the card) and possibly her “Bite me” to Silveren at the ball. I DIED of LAUGH when I got to that gem of a line. Appreciate you all for sharing peeks into the inner workings of goodie production, and much sympathy for the allergies and Tuna’s imprisonment. He’s not locked in with you; you’re locked in with him.
Adding a thought as shared by bestie coworker: the “Bite me” bookmark could feature Sushi art so even they who do not recall such a momentous moment in Maggie’s journey can join in. 😀
Yes! +1
I was looking at Solentine Dagarra. In the flesh. I could reach out and boop him on the nose. Oh god, he would kill me.
Shirts with Sushi and First Scholar Thek(sp), I love that picture of him.
Thinking of the First Scholar, I saw a commercial in which a pitchman was trying to convince the other people to use space chickens in a commercial. Space chickens! I wonder if the writer of the commercial is a BDH member…
Would love a t-shirt with Sushi
I probably won’t buy merchandise. Well I might, I bought a copy for my granddaughter for her birthday and she loves merch. My favorite quote is “Lute doesnt just hold a grudge, he cuddled them and tucked them in at night.”
I have a son like that.
“But is it FRESH????”
+1
Good Morning, I see the assassins have failed.
I would buy several mugs and shirts with this! Great gifts for my coworkers lol!
My favorite line of all time is the one about the ripper cushions. I got one of the journals with that one. But survive get paid is top tier.
For Clover: “Why did you stop eating? Is the food not delicious?”
I’d also love a bookmark with Luisa Pressler’s Maggie and Everard – one on each side.
Possible quotes
Maggie “You made it seem as if I have much more influence over you than I do.”
Everard “I believe I’m the ultimate authority on the amount of influence you have over me.”
Or
Everard “‘Your hair is down,’ he said. The smile got deeper.”
Maggie “‘For crying out loud, it’s not like I ran out here wearing nothing but lace and leather.’”
Those would be awesome!! Especially the 2nd.
apparently he didnt just hold grudges, he cuddled them and tucked them in at night.
this makes me laught ever time.
I really hope stickers I can put into my planner are part of the future merch!
It’s not a quote, but I’d be all over a portrait of Everard combined with a “Duke of the North” label 😉
I realise, however, that that might be too… trope-y to work 😊
A +1 on “Good morning…have failed”, as mentioned above 😊
I’d be more tempted to buy it, bonus if Cold is added at the front.
My favorites:
Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.
One day, if we become friends, I might explain.
I don’t just hold grudges, I cuddle them and tuck them in at night. (this is the wording I would want on a mug/shirt/bag/whatever)
Quote for a mug: “Karma was a bitch, she was sharpening her scythe, and there would be a harvest.”
Re: allergies, it is safe to layer on Azelastine with the Flonase… usually allergies are better controlled with both sprays done one after the other. Since the histamine reactions start at the nose, I like to address them there. (Also, I love sinus rinses but it’s a hard sell to patients.)
Eros Brousson has a lovely commentary on cedar trees and their pollen! Thank-you so much for introducing my entire family to his H.E.B. video. I found many more. I also love the one on girl scout cookies! Tuna is adorable! I love ginger cats! Thank- you for sharing. Also, I like the quote about assassins failing.
The Girl Scout Cookie Cartel, selling criminally addictive cookies… such a good comic sketch 🙂
I would love merch with these quotes but esp. latte mugs:
Live in someone else’s head for a bit (with pics of the 2 Latour book covers or any HA book covers really)
Good morning, I see the assassins have failed (with Sol’s house crest)
Karma was a bitch, she was sharpening her scythe, and there would be a harvest
I get Tuna’s fascination with the temptation treats, our cat Precious loves the temptation Seafood treats. She gobbles them up as if they’re the most wonderful thing in the world.
I love seeing Tuna being Tuna!
My cat, Mica, won’t eat her breakfast unless I create a short trail of the shrimpy treats to her bowl.
We meet again, my lady.
Bite me.
+1
+1
The portrait of Tuna on the blog “click on me” is very majestic. That particular picture is not in the blog post when one opens it, but still cute Tuna pictures.
My former ferals send greetings (Hey! – Amaretto; Food? – Sambuca)
Allergies are bad this year in New England too!
As for favorite quotes:
“Karma was a bitch, she was sharpening her scythe, and there would be a harvest.”
“Apparently, Lute didn’t just hold grudges, he cuddled them and tucked them in at night.”
Will it be fresh enough, Maggie?
“And for the record, you give me too little credit. I would take great care with your heart, Sol.”
“Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”
“Survive, get paid”
“The Fuck’em Knight”
“Well,” he said. “‘Undying’ is a bit of a misnomer, isn’t it?
Yes, but ‘dying horribly and then waking up in a lot of pain’ is a bit of a mouthful.”
“You need to live in someone else’s head for a bit”
And Sushi’s “offerings”😂
Lets see … quotes? I already have merch about poking stuff with a stick, checking dryer vents, Barsa, and white picket fences. I’m on 2nd re-read of This Kingdom, and will make note of what makes me chuckle as I go.
Always love a good Kate or Curran quote, or Erra, the Rose of the Tigris:
“Of course it blew up, Kate.”
Adding to the calls for:
Karma was a bitch, she was sharpening her scythe, and there would be a harvest.
“I believe I’m the ultimate authority on the amount of influence you have over me.”
“Sounds like you should be careful not to sleep with him.”
And
“Green suits you, Maggie.”
Would love some stickers and mugs!
Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.
Looking for a knight in armour, 6’5, blue eyes.
‘I had no idea they drank tea,’ Reynald said.
‘Well, blood of their enemies gets old after a while!’
‘How about tea? I’ll drink tea.’
‘Wine is better!
Also I loved the Easter egg of Solentine being described as a honey badger. He does give off
I can totally see a “Tea . . . For when the blood of your enemies gets old” mug.
Oooh, this! As a tea drinker who already has too many mugs, this I would have to get even with import taxes to the EU.
+ 1
+1
+1
+1 to all!
I have read enough fantasy books to fill a library but This Kingdom Will Not Kill Me is my special treasure.
One moment you are flying high and screaming at the world, the next someone bites your throat and drags you off into a dark alley.
When they had swarmed me, I thought they were beautiful. They thought they’d spotted a Thanksgiving dinner.
Is this where we’re both in a place we shouldn’t be, pretending to be someone we are not.”?
I spent too much time watching the struggle and now I’m emotionally invested despite my common sense.
+1
“Is this where we’re both in a place we shouldn’t be, pretending to be someone we are not?”
🤔 Sounds like it should be a sign at a pub.
I love all the above quotes (and the Gordon/Tuna stare off)!
A few more probably too long for a mug:
“Did you die again?” “Yes. But I killed the man who killed me.”
“Maybe you can stay home so you don’t get kidnapped and murdered.” “I’ll die of boredom.”
“I’ve never gone up,against an Archmage before. Might be fun.”
“I trust you with my life. Just not with my freedom….Then I shall have to work harder.”
“He is dead. I wish he wasn’t dead, so I could kill him.”
“He’d looked at me like he would rip the world apart to keep me safe” (sigh)
“What’s scarier than a rabid honey badger in human form? (One) who is your loyal cousin.”
“If I worked that hard for the sake of someone my domain needed, I wonder how far I would go for the sake of someone I truly want.”
“Good punch.
Brace yourself.”
Let’s face it! Virtually the whole book could be highlighted and put on a giant mug. But then we would sit there reading it on the mug again and never leave the table!
+1
+1
+1
+1 Yes, “the whole book could be highlighted.”
In addition to the great suggestions above, I liked:
“What are we doing.”
“Waiting for the fish fairy.”
Fish Fairy is the BEST fairy!!!
Second this! also:
One day, if we become friends, I might explain.
and:
You need to live in someone else’s head for a while.
“Who is in there?” a woman asked. “No one we want to find. Move along!”
lol maybe as a knock knock joke with Everard’s smoking picture?
“Knock knock!”
“Who’s in there?”
“No one we want to find. Move along!”
lol, yes! A black mug with green lining/shield around an image of Everard in a carriage:D
We come at night and stab you.
Yes this with the Demarr coat of arms.
Absolutely! +1
Ok, this too, I have to stop reading this thread, there’s just too many quotes!
I cannot remember which image I thought would work best I think the book devouring horde one with the flag being set. BUT I really really want a sunset hills stoneware, wide mouth or potbelly cup in possibly these colors: dark mint, lava rock, silvery night, or heritage green. they do amazing work I have a few mugs from them from other places and their work is immaculate. I’ve even been tempted to offer to pay the price (200$) for the first box I exchange for one cup to get a Ilona Andrews cup from them I don’t even care what emblem was used, hell I’d love the tree with the nechists in n it would be cool ….
to make it Maggie it’d be cool to get the house crests on some cups and people could collect them all or the houses they like. https://www.shstoneware.com/
Second this, if possible. I love this style of mug. Maybe expand to one or two of the most popular ones for this?
Without looking at the other comments..
“Maggie the Soap Queen” for the win!!!
“You too can Rule with clean, soft hands!”
I laugh each time I read the line..
‘Commitment isn’t a problem for me.’
‘No, I imagine not. it’s getting you to stop that’s the problem. ‘ hehe
but mostly, am surprised it wasn’t one of the top ones:
‘If I worked that hard for the sake of someone my domain needed, I wonder how far I would go for the sake of someone I truly want?”
swoon❤️
but I suppose Everard saying to Solentine about ‘when it happens and it will-remember-you forced my hand’ is a shorter declaration of his intent
A bunch of the stuff her “brother” said when he was getting her away from Arvel.
The thing about the magic words, something like, I should totally be dead.
Oh, oh, and that one where Everard says how dangerous she is.
Someone please help me find these?
The whole scene with Rumian was hilarious.
Rumian shows up end of chapter 40 and little bit beginning of 41, pg 437-439 on kindle.
Do you think he will chase us?…That would be fun.
Did I do well?…Was I too stern? You were wonderful. Splendid. I always wanted to be an older brother.
Why do I never get to do anything exciting?
Leather and lace!!
“For crying out loud, it’s not like I ran out here wearing nothing but lace and leather.”
Love everything about the scene.
I highlight as I go along just for some task such as this:
“You’re bold this morning.” / “Clover’s delicious brunch restored me to my natural state.” – ch11
Put like that, it did sound ridiculous, but I had marched into this conversation, and I had to keep going until I got myself out of it.
– ch 12 (so relatable)
“Green suits you, Maggie.”
– ch 13 (I will admit, this line is part of what made me shout when I got to the reveal, and reread the book just to double check it came across the way I had remembered.)
“Salt is always fresh, my lady”
– ch 13 (too many friends of mine are always salty over games and it stood out).
I do have more highlighted but this seems like a good place to stop!
+1
The future always had the last laugh. With a dursan.
These 3 are my “keepers”:
Bless your heart.”
“And that means?”
“‘Eat dirt and die.’”
“Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”
“Survive, get paid.”
Thank you for sharing your worlds with us.
+1
Also, a hand with 3 coins and the quote “It was hope in my fingers.”
+1
+1
he’s watching me…
I know, everyone is watching him watch you.
“I’m looking for a man in armor. Six five, blue eyes.”
“Zero out of ten stars. Would not recommend.” If there’s enough space, I would do the entire passage that starts with “I started yesterday with beautiful hair…”
+1
+1 Yes!
+1
“If there was anything a liberal arts education taught you how to do, it was to read a bunch of different sources and vomit all the information in an organized and concise manner.”
I have a couple English literature degrees, and this is pretty much how I describe the skills I gained. 🤣
We must have “Green suits you, Maggie” for sure!
Tuna verses Gordon who will win ? Methinks Tuna 😂💕
This one made me laugh out loud.
“Good morning. I see the assassins have failed.”
I’d love a Solentine one with “when someone says let’s put all our cards on the table, you never put all your cards on that table”
I also would love the Demarr coat of arms with “We come at night and stab you”
I love the passage where Sol asks Maggie what her feelings are for Everard, and she says she wants to brain him with something heavy.
I would also love a Rumian picture with “Fastest blade in Rellas” or “Why do I never get to do anything exciting?”
+1
+1
“I thought we had established trust.” Everard looked into my eyes. “I trust you with my life. Just not with my freedom.” The Sleepless Duke smiled. It was an indescribable smile, knitted from determination, power, and pure heat. “Then I shall have to work harder.” Dear god.
Oh sound marvellous! Is it possible to have it if we are in France or is it US only?
Thanks for all your great work I am so happy to know that volume 2 is coming with a lot of words. I love Maggie so much.
Cuddles to Tuna, he is beautiful your majesty.
I must have read the book four times already. I’m half-way through a fifth time now to find favorite quotes I could see on bookmarks. I figured I should stop while I’m ahead.
“Undying’ is a bit of a misnomer, isn’t it?”
“Yes, but ‘dying horribly and then waking up in a lot of pain’ is a bit of a mouthful.”
“I’m not a knight, but I’m not afraid.”
“I shall be Maggie the Soap Queen of Kair Toren. I will rule this city with my clean, soft hands…”
“Calm winds and tranquil sky.” “Warm sun and safe harbor,”
“I’m no Omelyana. I have other things to do.”
“That was coincidental, my lord. I’m not into bondage, and if I were, you’re not the partner I would choose.”
“I will devote my life to the Sleepless Duke, but first I will get some pastries.“
+1
I love the quotes you shared!
I’ve re-listened to the audiobook over a dozen times.
I do not want to leave Kair Toren!!
Whenever I finish, I just click right back to Month of Planter, Day 6 (and sometimes restart in chapter 2, skipping over the first death).
It’s so good! It’s ridiculous and unreasonable how much I need the next book NOW.
“These are the actions of deranged assholes! What does that make you?”
“I am the Lord of Assholes, your majesty.”
+1 YES
+1 YES please
More Words! More Words!
“Do you think the toad knows he is a toad?”
“Use me. Let me be your shield. Let me take care of you.”
“If I come back here and find you gone, I will level this damn city. “
+1
All the quotes already mentioned need to be merched asap!
I need a “Survive, Get Paid” shirt! I want the option of not having the “no risk, no gold” on the back. This way I can buy 2 different options for my various moods.
And I totally want a “Good morning, I see the assassins have failed” mug.
I think a bookmark with “Calm Wind, Tranquil Skies” on the front and the response on the back would be lovely too! But I could also see it as a mug, sweatshirt, and sticker.
Every memorable quote would be great in sticker format, please!!
I love the Maggie soap bookmark. Lots of stickers! And Sanctuary stickers! I missed out on those.
I loved this quote from Maggie
“Someone in this awful city had been nice to me, and good things did happen here. It was hope in my fingers.”
Oh yes this one is good with the coins on it
This is so beautiful. There were so many lovely, hopeful moments like this that I’d love to see on merch.
+1
I love the book so much, that picking quotes is hard but I agree with a lot of the suggestions and added a few of my own:
“Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”
“Survive, get paid”
“The Fuck’em Knight”
“Well,” he said. “‘Undying’ is a bit of a misnomer, isn’t it?
Yes, but ‘dying horribly and then waking up in a lot of pain’ is a bit of a mouthful.”
“Bless your heart.”
“And that means?”
“‘Eat dirt and die.’”
“These are the actions of deranged assholes! What does that make you?”
“I am the Lord of Assholes, your majesty.”
“Butt napkins. The essence of luxury.”
“For crying out loud, it’s not like I ran out here wearing nothing but lace and leather.”
“Leather and lace. I’m still trying to picture it.”
“Don’t.”
“Is it not usually either or? How would one combine the two…” He gave me a contemplative glance.
“You need to broaden your horizons.”
I would love the last one on a bookmark! I want to buy all the things!
Tuna is incessantly adorable! My cat Snowball used to block my computer like that.
!! I kept trying to find a way to shorten the leather and lace scene, and I’m so glad someone included it as is.
Also, all your quotes are chef’s kiss.
“You need to broaden your horizons” is a great line even without the context.
All the quotes!
“You need to broaden your horizons.”
this is a great way to shorten it and make itt workplace appropriate.
A mug with
“Good morning,
I see the assassins have failed again”
Another good one
So many things…
“No risk, no gold”
“She needs to stay in her carriage”
But, will it be fresh enough?
I keep hoping for a new phone case. I am still using the Cutting Edge one that I purchased years ago.
Same here!!
Okay, all of these are so good! I listened to the book, and then I listen to it again right away. I don’t think I’ve ever gone straight back to a book like that, that quickly!
The one that keeps floating around in my head. I don’t know the full quote for but it was something like this:
There were a bunch of hot guys around or something and she was looking around and thinking that it was like a fireman calendar but with a distressing lack of cats.
That was another Laugh Out Loud moment. I’ve read it four times and I’m still laughing. I’ve noticed that people are edging away from and giving me the side eye everytime I read this book in public. No idea why!!
Green suits you.
Please please please!! 💚💚💚
Astepro nasal spray is available without a prescription. I’ve used it on and off for years. It works. Quickly. BUT, it tastes terrible. Cough drops will help dilute most of the taste. Usually. Talk to your PCP.
I had to share the quote, “Apparently, Lute didn’t just hold grudges, he cuddled them and tucked them in at night.” I’m laughing out loud again just typing this in. Yes, I’m getting odd looks from my husband and our fur-baby.
I have a Drago, orange long haired, goes outside every night on his schedule and demands catnip every night, again, on his schedule and will try to open the drawer where it is kept. If I’m not paying attention or ignoring him he jumps up and stomps across my lap desk and my chest, all 16 pounds of him over and over until I pay attention.
Dani, my mannered 8 pound female, quietly sits on the floor next to my chair, utters a quiet meow, and gently taps my arm with her paw for attention. I’ve had them for almost 11 years now and it took her about 6 years to feel comfortable with me. Our relationship developed very slowly and entirely at her pace. She only connects about three times a day and the rest of the time she is under cover somewhere. Godzilla vs the Princess.
What beautiful descriptions of your cats! thanks for sharing.
Green suits you, Maggie.
I just imagine the hard-on he had seeing Maggie wear all that green :)))))
“You made it seem as if I have much more influence over you than I do.” “I believe I’m the ultimate authority on the amount of influence you have over me.”
Also, I would like a blank one to write my personal favorite
“Survive, get paid.”
and thank you for putting up with us.
Very Horde-ishly Yours
I just don’t understand how a larger word count can in any way be something bad :)))
bring moooorrrreeee
yes, need more pages
Also a good quote is the “Good morning. I see the assassins have failed.”
Really encompasses the whole book :))
I live in central Texas (about 45 minutes down the road from y’all). Right now, Zyrtec is my BEST FRIEND! And the weather is unpredictable! It’s 9:30am and 60 degrees with a real feel of 51! In May! I think Mother Nature is trying to make a point here!
“Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”
How adorable His Majesty is!! you surely cannot deprive him of treats if he demands them (plus you need to keep him well bribed so he doesn’t hinder your writing, no?) 😁😹 “Tuna Vision” is hilarious BTW!! Mine will sit on my books to demand their treats.
Hope you allergies ease up a bit soon HA!
There are literally so many brilliant quotes it’s hard to choose. In addition to the ones you already have in the pics these are some of my shorter faves, they’re all already mentioned by the rest of the BDH though.
“Survive, get paid.”
“Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”
“Green suits you, Maggie.”
“Bite me”
“Do you think he will chase us?…That would be fun”
“I will devote my life to the Sleepless Duke, but first I will get some pastries.“
*hopes UK BDH will get our hands on them too!* 😊🙏
+1
When someone says ‘let’s put all our cards on the table’…
… you never put all your cards on that table
+1
“The Fish Fairy” with an image of Sushi
+1
+1
“You’re standing too close to my cousin. Remove yourself to the appropriate distance.”
“Move me, Sol.”
“Guard Vermin. Charming.”
“That’s one thing about you,Maggie. Being with you is never boring.”
“Bless your heart.”
“And that means?”
“‘Eat dirt and die.’”
Absolutely love this 😁
+1
I laughed the first time I read this:
“Your mother sounds like a very wise woman,” Bellen said.
“My lord, I think you are the man my mother warned me about.”
Sushi crouched by me. She had crawled into the boat before we cast off and perched by my feet. There had been a brief commotion, until I picked her up to assure everyone that we were on a petting basis, and she wouldn’t be biting any ankles.
LOVE THIS ONE!!!!
+5
Another chuckle with this one:
Sushi crouched by me. She had crawled into the boat before we cast off and perched by my feet. There had been a brief commotion, until I picked her up to assure everyone that we were on a petting basis, and she wouldn’t be biting any ankles.
ISO: fresh pink salt for MIL
I really love the one from the bonus scene. It would be great on a bookmark.
“She is a lady,” Clover said. “Without a doubt. She looks you in the eye when she talks, and she keeps forgetting to bow her head, like she isn’t used to it. She is very educated. She knows things others don’t, and she can’t do her own hair. When she needs it put away, she makes a three-part plait like she is a child. She has great teeth, and her hands are soft.”
Omg, the part about the plait cracked me up again. I love this.
I agree with an earlier note, if you open the Halls jar and let Tuna inspect the cough drops, the feud and injured feelings would probably dissolve immediately. The Temptations kibble are a pretty good cat treat, but if you want to get your cat really seriously happy and excited, offer him a Temptations Soft Lickable Spoons Cat Treat. They are kind of pricey, but our cats practically inhale them, and will come running if they sense there is a Lickable Spoon anywhere nearby. I’m not sure what’s in that little foil packet, but it very much loved and desired by our spoiled felines.
If I walk to the cabinet where treats are kept, I get frantic running and then meows non-stop… one of my favorite quotes that I don’t see below is:
“I’m looking for a man in armor. Six five, blue eyes.”
That box DOES look like treats!
PS: I dislike the new boxes, and pour the into the old better boxes that look just like that box of cough drops. So I knew immediately exactly what Tuna was saying.
Oh! I’d love to see the crests on things including shirts!
Re-reading and loving all the descriptions but especially the Dagarra family crest:
A shield depicting a rust-colored dagger on a cream background with three moons in different phases above it in a saturated blue. We come at night and stab you.
I don’t know that it would it on a bookmark but I also loved: What’s scarier than a rabid honey badger in human form? A rabid honey badger in human form who is your loyal cousin.
(I’m not re-reading a specific scene. Not at all. These connected quotes came to me individually. For no reason.)
I’d personally like a quote from the “how dare” scene, when Maggie calls someone out for pointing out she was adopted!
don’t have my copy with me, so I can’t do the full quote, safdly
I have 2 cats likewise annoyed because they are on diet food. One cat is skinny, and he pesters all day long because he wants treats. The other cat is 18 lbs and has ears like a bat- he comes running if I try to sneak treats to the other cat. My vet wants me to buy $300 feeders that open to a micro chip. *sigh*.
I would wager The Vet would approve of Bonito Flakes for Cats, as ‘Treats’, the Only thing our cats will eat as Treat, but be warned, it’s sort of expensive, though it can go awhile if carefully doled out. There wouldn’t be any grains/carbs to contribute to weight gain. It’s basically ‘Shaved’ dried fish.
Unless Tuna is allergic to fish, that should be a Healthy Treat option.
Our Natural Pet Market had the bags at $18-something for 6 ounces, some years ago, so is probably more today.
In Brazil Tuna would be known as a particularly shaped variety of cat called “gatochinha” (mixture of gato (cat) and cochinha (a very famous delicious fried finger food), gatochinhas are the best, as a proud momma of 2 I understand the need to help them slim down though. All my best wishes to Tuna in his slimming journey.
I commented and liked some quotes on instagram, I’ve been in such a “new book series” funk for the longest of times and of course you would be the ones to rescue me with the new book in a new series, this last month Maggie and this world have pretty much consumed all my thoughts not linked to work or family. I’m enjoying immensely my 2nd relisten and can’t wait to see what goodies will come our way.
Another vote for “Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.” and “Survive, get paid”!
But to deal with my Maggie hangover I just re-read the whole Innkeeper series (a Maggie re-read and a Kate Daniels re-read soon to follow!) and I have to say I NEED a print of some kind for work with the following Caldenia quote:
“Get up, dear. We do not let our enemies win. We claw their hearts out and devour them. You have work to do.”
+1
don’t know the future, but I know the present, and I’ve decided to walk this path with you. As long as you will have me by your side, I won’t allow anyone to harm you.
Love everyones ideas! For the record, I missed my chance to get a mug and would still love to procure one when there is time in the future!
Curse you Ilona and Gordon! I fell in love with Maggie and now have to wait until her next story comes out!
I think this has been mentioned, but I’m putting in a nomination for merch with the house crest (for each house) with an appropriate (to the House) quote.
“The world doesn’t revolve around the two of you.”
“Be silent.”
“Or what? You’re going to kill me? Ha.”
“Last I checked people didn’t come back to life. That would be utterly ridiculous.”
“Ha!”
“Bless your heart.”
“And that means?”
“Eat dirt and die.”
“I trust you with my life. Just not with my freedom.”
“Then I shall have to work harder.”
“You made it seem as if I have much more influence over you than I do.”
“I believe I’m the ultimate authority on the amount of influence you have over me.”
“The only person who can come between us is you.”
One of my favorites: “My lord, I think you are the man my mother warned me about.”
Stuff already posted by other people that I also love:
– “Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”
– Front: “No risk, no gold.” | Back: “Survive, get paid”
– “Well,” he said. “‘Undying’ is a bit of a misnomer, isn’t it?
Yes, but ‘dying horribly and then waking up in a lot of pain’ is a bit of a mouthful.”
-Bless your heart.”
“And that means?”
“‘Eat dirt and die.’”
+1
I am looking forward to your merch. In the meantime, I had to tell you that we just adopted our first orange cat as previous cats have been gray with mixed colors. To say they are an adjustment is not saying enough. Like Tuna, if our Biscuit wants something, we get constant vocal nagging. He has vocalizations I have not before heard from a cat and he has low, medium and very HIGH volumes! I agree, it is easier to give them the treat than listen to the constant complaints about abuse and neglect! Tell Tuna he has a soulmate here in Oregon!
“I’m looking for a man in armour. Six five, blue eyes.”
+1
Aren’t we all?
You know it!
I would live to see art related to Maggie’s fancy court dress!
The cuddles grudges and tucks them in at night line would be awesome on a throw pillow…
But then I would also need a Ripper Cushion cushion, because I missed them last time.
In addition to SUSHI stickers and bookmarks, I would love to see something with the coins that Maggie was given by the Sleepless Duke at the beginning. They had such importance and loaded meaning later. (If Luisa’s art of his lordship holding said coins was also available as a bookmark or sticker that would be a bonus!) The bookmark mock-up with Clover and a tea recipe is promising; tea-related stickers would be fun as well.
As for favorite quotes, I laughed out loud when Maggie first meets Solentine and mentions she is close enough to “boop his nose” but he would kill her. Her inner thoughts were some of the best lines.
Will the companion book with bonus scenes mentioned previously still be happening?
I would totally buy a “survive, get paid” t-shirt.
favorite from this list:
1. When the blood of your enemies get old.
2. Survive get paid
My favorite Quotes:
1. But is it fresh? with a box of salt
2. this is from a snippet between
Clover and Gort’s wife
She needs to stay in her own carriage.
Is it fresh is my favourite, too.
You have to do I’m looking for a man in armor. Six five, blue eyes.
It has been stuck in my brain for weeks!
So much sympathy regarding the allergy issues. It is so windy here at the moment and I can’t leave the house.
I love all the artwork and the bookmarks are epic.
If I had my druthers I would like the map on vellum. It would be awesome framed and on the wall. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be though. And expensive. But I really love the map. I’ve read TKWNKM four times already. Three on the ereader and once on the computer so I can see the map clearly. And I keep going back to see where things are happening and get oriented. I could probably find my own way around now LOL.
With you on the map – I read the passages, jump to map to try to locate/trace the route, and go back to reading. (I’m also having a time envisioning the Rampart Bridge and the Combs).
I know stickers probably aren’t cost effective but I don’t need mugs or t shirts. I can buy multiple stickers to pass out and plaster everywhere!
+1
Because of forest fire smoke from Canada and allergens I invested in furnace air filters that could remove small particles and allergens. I have to rotate them after a month and replace them after 2 months but they are worth it. Filtrete Merv 12 Mpr 1500 allergens, bacteria and viruses filters. More expensive than standard filters but it makes my home a haven.
is there any way we can get a pronunciation guide for names in Maggie? I keep going between Solentine rhymes with Ovaltine or rhymes with valentine. which is it? please and thank you.
I’ve been listening to the audiobook, and the reader pronounces Solentine like Valentine.
I love love LOVE that the BDH is designing merch for the book dedicated to the BDH. Don’t worry House Andrews, we got this! You keep writing Maggie 2.
Wait … who is monitoring Steve?
I just have to say, this blog and the BDH are like nothing I have ever seen. A place to talk about our favorite books. The best part though is the positive discussions about our lives and pets, and people sharing help for HA allergies.
I really want a mug with the three moon tavern logo and I love the quote “you are very dangerous Maggie. I don’t think you realize the full extent of it”.
+1
3 Moons
Fresh squeezed orange juice – HEB kind
Allergies are bad here in the Dallas area. Of course flonase and saline spray.
But I have had luck adding Traditional Medicinals -Breathe Easy herbal tea.
But I do the following– Around 1 hour or so before bedtime — Heat tea to 200 F. Real steamy and too hot to drink so I breathe in the steam from the tea for several minutes. Seems to help me clearing out the sinus. Then later as it cools down I drink the tea. When I skip this — have a lot more problems at night.
“For the record, I also think you’re amazing.”
I’m going to get the exact wording wrong but…..”I would have taken a fucking chamber maid!”
Was what made the book for me!
I would’ve happily taken the fucking chamber maid.
Yes, that was great one too!
One of my favourites is this Everard’s quote:
“Thank you for removing the obstacles in my way,” Everard said. “So considered of you.”
Beside those already mentioned by others:
“I could tell you, but I have to charge.”
“Hello there, Ezio. Imagine meeting you here. Killed any Templars lately?”
“Fuck Latour” with the drawing of ‘a Viking funeral pyre’ out of his books ‘on a raft pushed into Lake Travis’ while Maggie is ‘howling like a wolf while flames consume it’.
“I would’ve happily taken the fucking chamber maid.”
“I was sitting in a wooden chest in a house once owned by slavers in the middle of a magical city watching a plate with a chunk of meat because someone kept leaving fish on my desk. Which of my choices had landed me here, exactly?”
“Dead bodies were heavy as hell.”
I have a question about the merch shop. would it be possible to get some of the quotes as dtf tranfers?
I really like the bit about ‘if they weren’t rebelling they were communicating their intention to rebel’ 😅 reminds me of a whole bunch of Leons 😂
All of the above plus:
“The slow-moving hamster wheel that powered Talpot’s brain turned a couple of times.”
“Here is a giant sack of what ifs, deal with it.”
“I smiled. It seemed better than some half-baked witty comeback.”
“Is that jealousy I smell?”
“How…?” “She does that,” Reynald told him. “You’ll get used to it.”
Trust, the bane of my existence.
I was in real danger of being treated like one of those bumbling genius mage characters, who knew the mysteries of the universe but had trouble putting on socks and couldn’t be trusted to do anything.
“Should I wait for the fresher salt?”
I’ve had enough honesty till next year. I’m full up.”
Honest work takes a lot out of a person. You should try it.
“We are ornery people,” Reynald said. “If we don’t rebel every decade or so, we get bored.”
Only a fool expects loyalty from a man who salts fields and burns villages to the ground.
Reynald’s menace meter was all the way up, and people gave us plenty of room.
“Sauven was always a few arrows short of a full quiver,”
Right now, the plan seemed to be to let Reynald get hacked to pieces while we all stood around like brainless jackasses who filmed their friends’ fights with cell phones instead of breaking them up.
I already had Everard at home. One terrifying magical knight was enough, thank you.
If you cut off his hand, Gort would say it was just a flesh wound.
I died, came back to life, and defaced my killer in the most literal sense of the word.
Zero out of ten stars. Would not recommend.
You can’t keep bashing people to death in a blind panic.”
“It’s worked well for me so far.”
“True, but you might not always have a bludgeon handy.”
This was the point where the isekai heroines usually got struck by a brilliant idea in a flash of intellectual lightning. My mental skies were blue and clear. Not a thundercloud in sight.
“At the moment, I want to brain him with something heavy.”
“I know that urge.”
More words, deeper hole.
“I wonder about you.” “Which part?” “All the parts!”
“I can’t teach you to dance. That would take a miracle. I’m a mage, not a saint.”
I could tell by the set of her jaw that common sense had left the station.
The future always had the last laugh.
There are just so many to choose from!
Love all of the above and also:
„Remember my name. Wait for me.“,
„Killed any Templars lately?“,
„Zero out of ten stars. Would not recommend.“
I have another quote I like
‘There was a distressing lack of kittens’
😂
A favorite in our family, courtesy of Sweep of the Heart contestant Cyanide:
“I require attentions…All of them.”
That phrase perfectly describes our Higgra puppy and her constant needs. If we got her a button mat to express herself, she’d hit the “attentions” button every chance she’d get!
Also support earlier posts for “Survive, get paid” and Bless your heart. Yes!
“Survive, get paid”
Has “Two boots and a sword” already been added? Its a bit morbid, but funny 🙂
– Like you said, Drugh knows what a dead mercenary is worth.” “Two boots and a sword,” Reynald said, his face thoughtful. “And Filderon’s boots were shit.”-