That’s how much time I have for the blog post today. I have a fancy and semi-intelligent post in drafts about Fantasy genres and it need more braining than I have at the moment. So this is a rambling salad of randomness instead.
On Monday we got a massive attack of Chinese IPs and the site has crashed. We have solved the problem but it ate most of the day, even with the capable assistance of WP-Engine Support.
I worked two weeks straight without breaks and crashed just like the website for the whole day yesterday. It was that place where you haven’t slept well and you have a low grade headache, and you almost feel slightly out of it because you are that tired. This release + deadline is kicking my ass.
It’s been hot and humid, so we haven’t gone walking this week. I can’t play computer games because we are signing things for Waterstones and I am making a blanket for Gordon, and the hand can only take so much. The blanket actually helps to loosen the fingers up, because I’m using a very bulky yard and a big hook, so the motion is wider. I will take a pic once it’s done. It is very pretty.
All my coping mechanisms are failing a bit.
In a flash of brilliance or desperation, I’ve off loaded the This Kingdom website to Anchored Designs, who created this one, so that is one less thing on my plate. I’ve also learned the InDesign in self-defense. OMG, editing graphics for print layout is so much easier.
In the good news, This Kingdom has taken the triple crown in audio: Audible, Apple and Spotify all selected it as their featured release for the month of March.
I leave you with this wonderful post by Éros Brousson. Everything you ever wanted to know about Texas HEB religion. If you are reading this in your email, here is a direct link.
That reminds me, I need to put a grocery order in and the flyer should’ve just come out.
I’m more than happy to accept the HEB TikTok in exchange for my p*tience.
I find that guy so funny! and thanks for the update!
Sorry about being one of the Waterstones people.
Hope you get them finished soon and get a nice break and life calms down a bit.
Much love to the Waterstones people! 💖
I’ve pre-ordered the Waterstones special edition (signed) so sorry about the aching hand 😥☺️ I’m also contemplating getting the normal book and I’ve got the ebook pre-ordered as well. Think I’m going a bit over the top with this one..💕😘😘😂😂
I’ve ordered the audio too because the sample sounds amazing.
Haha me too! I have the ebook, audio book and waterstones ordered! I was excited about Waterstones as they ship to Australia for only the cost of half a kidney haha!
Audio and ebook pre-ordered and I joined OC Adult sub just for April’s book!
😅🙈 I live in South East Asia and the shipping is almost as much as the subscription/book, but I know it’ll be worth it!
Thanks Mod R. Can’t wait to have it in my hot little hands!
me too ☺️
Oh I can’t wait to see your blanket. My 8 year-old begged me to teach her how to crochet. So now we have two scarves that are 1/4 of the way done. But it’s been fun to pass along a skill I was taught by my grandmother. Any recommendations for a more fun and simpler project for a new crochet beginner? The scarf is easy but long.
I’m glad you got the tech stuff sorted and you are getting support for the website. Take care of yourself!
One of my neighbor’s kids wants to learn how to crochet so she can make the little crocheted animal kits she has seen. I loaned her a book so far and showed her how to make a chain. I also gave her practice yarn and some crochet hooks. Perhaps there are instructions on line for some of the little projects. I’ve been making baby beanies and doll berets and vests for 18 inch dolls. The baby hats are a 7 x 11 inch rectangle that you sew into a tube and gather the top for newborn or baby doll size.
Dishcloths are a good option for small learning pieces. There are lots of free patterns on the internet. Good luck and have fun!
I taught myself how to crochet back when there was no internet (I hear the gasps in the background). My mom had a crochet book that I used to teach myself.
I started out with small blankets. It’s a great way to get the yarn tension just right without feeling like you have to remind yourself. One thing I learned over time is to use a larger crochet hook for the chain row when making blankets. If the same hook is used on the chain row and the rest of the blanket, the chain row will pull in and look really weird. Remember to add on to the chain row the number stitches corresponding the stitch used. Single crochet – 1 added stitch. Half-double crochet (my favorite stitch) – 2 added stitches. Double crochet – 3 added stitches.
The first crochet pattern I learned is for a hot pad.
Chain 41. Slip stitch into ch 40 and continue down the side to the end, chain around the end, and back up the other side. Continue slip stitching around – this should give you a tube. Continue crocheting around your tube until it’s long enough that when you lay it flat, the edges meet perpendicular to the base chain. (Your base chain and the edges of the tube, laid flat, should make an X). Slip stitch closed (I like to add a loop at the end so I can hang it up).
Viola, hot pad.
Slip stitch gives the hot pad a tight weave that protects your hand or surface from the hot things.
*Do NOT use acrylic or any synthetic yarn for this, because hot things melt plastics* – I use 4 ply worsted cotton.
Happy crafting 🙂
A jellyfish is my favorite easy/fast crochet pattern, the one I make uses single crochet for the body, half double crochet for the frill, and then long chains out and back for the tentacles, easy to find free patterns as well. Fun to use colorful or glow-in-the-dark yarn too 😀
The main things that can be tricky for crochet stuffies is having to keep the stitch fairly tight so the stuffing doesn’t poke out (you’ll often use a smaller hook than recommended by the yarn info), learning how to make a magic circle (starting point for most of them), and making sure to count your stitches and rounds. It may not be simpler than a scarf, but the progress is satisfying and may keep things on track to completion. Good luck, hope you and daughter have fun with it!
When I started crocheting, all my first projects went to my son’s favorite stuffed animals. First a scarf, but I still do stuffed animal sized blankets when trying a new stitch. So I’d suggest that for a good, quick first project.
You could make an lap-size afghan (slowly) by having her make one square at a time, either granny squares or different stitches. It would be a long process, but make a lot of memories.
I ama knitter I can not crochet to save a life. Also self taught about 2 years ago from a friend showing me to swatch and then a few months later on youtube watching and kind of re learning cuz i had forgotten lol. Currently working on my Andrea Mowry Big cozy cardi for her KAL on ravelry.
The water stones edition is so beautiful! Can’t wait to learn more about the other usa editions!
Good luck on the blanket! I started using bamboo crochet hooks. My arthritic finger prefers soft baby yarn and a 5.5 mm hook. I also only make little stuff.
Hang in there. It is cool humid and drizzly here.
I love Eros Brousson. Never fails to make me laugh. I hadn’t seen this one so thank you for sharing.
Delegation is a Wonderful Thing. And frankly, the operation and maintenance of a secondary promotional website sounds like the kind of thing you *should* be offloading if at all possible.
Congratulations on your audio Triple Crown. (Is that like the old Pope’s Crown?)
It’s also nice to know that you have a decent grocery store in your neck of the woods…
Everything in the video is true! I’m not from TX, but I’ve been here more than 1/2 my life and I’ve been HEB indoctrinated 🤣
During the pandemic HEB sponsored a podcast of Hank the Cowdog starring Matthew McConaughey. I don’t live anywhere near Texas and my kids still love HEB.
We moved out of state, but I still use my giant HEB frozen goods bag for every big shop. Other expat Texans always grin and nod. This state has been a great place to live, but my heart yearns for HEB.
Ps this Texas French guy is one of my best follows.
HEB is expanding in the DFW area. Central Market (a HEB store by a different name) is about 10 minutes away from where I live in Fort Worth. That place is always crowded.
Good luck with all the stuff that’s happening. Take care of your hands and wrists. Too bad you can’t get a rubber stamp of your signature and do all the signatures that way. **Horde, don’t throw rotten tomatoes at me. 😂**
Ha! I saw that bit from Eros this morning and thought of you guys! I have very fond memories of my years in Austin and learning HEB as a freshman. It’s like no where else on earth.
I love the Maggie pages on the website so far. They are beautiful! I keep glancing at my calendar and seeing MAGGIE written at the bottom and starting in disbelief. Are we here already?!? That year kinda sped by for me. 😉
Thank you as always for everything you guys do. Please take care of yourselves!!! It’s a marathon, not a sprint. Well, maybe today it is…. 🙂 Hang in there.
Saw this video the other day and sent it to my friends back east who are limited to ACME and Superfresh.
And he barely even touched on HEB’s disaster response teams that get there before the National Guard.
HEB is life!
Best line: You buy your brisket at Walmart, how brave of you.
Delegating is key. I haven’t mastered it yet, but I always recommend it to others 😜
HEB is one of the main things I missed leaving Houston!
Hmmmm – now I’m thinking of the Inn, and HEB flyers, and I want all the donuts!
If the stalkers had shown up at H-E-B, it would have been too crowded to contain them quietly but the crowd would have bribed it with warm tortillas and sushi, found it a foster home, created a social media campaign for the ugly dog, and taught it to like cats.
Very tasty salad, thank you!!!
I trained on the first version of InDesign and used it for 20 years. Now I’m stuck in a job that forces me to do the same things in Word. (Enjoy the job. Hate Word. Okay, sometimes hate, other times only strongly dislike.) I miss InDesign every time I start a new document.
Also, I have now added this phrase to my lexicon: “This task requires more braining than I have right now.”
LOL! HEB is the bomb. My favorite part was when he said, “The checkout lady called me honey.”
So happy for potential new readers and BDH members! Boo on the site hack! I hope you get more rest soon!
😂 This video. Thank you. I was feeling down today and the chuckles kept on coming.
I never understood the HEB references in Innkeeper, or Orro’s flyer obsession, but now I do. Must take a road trip to experience for myself.
Possibly the funniest post I’ve seen in a couple of years!
Too funny. He is right everything is Texas-shaped. My Uncle in San Antonio was so proud of his Texas-shaped fire pit; dug out and cement framed, but the fam. LOL
oooh! I just finished a big blanket and started my first hand knit one. I consider it therapy.
Once upon a very long time ago, I worked five months straight at three jobs and got that headache a lot. My cure was massive doses of caffeine, which occasionally turned me into something resembling a 3rd cousin of Arabella’s transformed side. (0 out of 5 stars, would not recommend; but I was forty-something and thought I was invincible.)
Grocery shopping makes me crazy, because people. I miss the 24 hour days when it was me, one check out clerk, and the 2 a.m. stock guys driving forklifts like they were race cars….
Wishing you strength and lots of tea for this next stretch!! Forward!! 📚✍️🫖
I love this man.
He’s hilarious.
I LOVED that “cult of HEB” video, sent it to all my friends in Texas.
Hope you can take some down time and let yourself recover. ❤️
I lived in Texas for most of my life and this is spot-on. The only thing he left out is that I think it is some kind of requirement that as a teenager in Texas that you work for HEB. My friends and I all worked there at some point while in High School. My boyfriend’s mom would ask me to let her know when certain items were going on sale so she could get to the store early that day and lord help me if I forgot to bring the sales flyer home to my mom. I don’t miss much about living in Texas, but I do miss HEB.
That man is so funny! I loved the one on TX allergens too.
Sorry to hear about the exhaustion levels, do try to get more rest! 🤞😬
And many many congrats to HA for the triple crown! So looking forward to this book
Thank you for the H-E-B Religion from Eros! His outlook on Texas and Americans makes me smile each time I see one of his short videos. Is he really opening a bakery in Austin?
“that’s not shopping, Brenda. That’s a personality disorder” 🤣 love it!
also please take the downtime you need! books can wait, your health (mental and physical!) is important.
The thing I miss most about Texas is my friends who are still there. The thing I miss most after them is HEB. Good prices and good food that’s what I want from my grocery store. Also after all the natural disasters I lived through while I lived in Texas HEBs disaster response team is amazing. We could always count on them before anyone else.
That level of exhaustion is so relatable. I was there Monday, after a week leading up to my best friend’s wedding. The event was amazing, but everything wanted to go wrong in the lead up. Innkeeper reread has been keeping going. Hopefully, you get a bit of rest and minimal goes wrong for a bit.
Omg 👏😁💪🏼🤘🏼
Snicker, chortle, guffaw! Actually, I just about fell out of my chair listening to that man talk about H.E.B.
“I bought enough butter to kill a horse..” Just kill me now.. I feel like this shopping at Costco or BJ’s. (another store like Costco on the east coast)
Congrats on being #1 on all the platforms!! The Horde salutes you!
The level of promotion for This Kingdom is incredible! or maybe the algorithms have gotten better at knowing me for a House Andrews fan. It’s everywhere! Congratulations on the triple crown too! This book feels like a tsunami of acclaim just waiting to crash. It’s going to be big.
if you want to know all about h.e.b go onto YouTube and bring up the the fat electrician the fatfiles he put out a video on the history of h.e.b it is informative and funny
“How brave of you!” This might be the French version of “Bless your heart!”. Ilona, I bought a cold pack wrist brace, for when I over-exert my wrists, and it really helps with reducing inflammation, and it helps with pain. You pop it into the freezer. So, I did figure out that I need to wear a thin glove first, and then the cold pack on top, as otherwise it is too cold. Just a thought! I suggested the idea to one of my crocheting friends, and she said she loves hers, and it helps her recovery if she has had a big crochet day. If you want to check it out… https://www.amazon.com/dp/B095RXFZRK?ref_=ppx_hzsearch_conn_dt_b_fed_asin_title_2&th=1
Also, I ordered three mugs, and all three arrived, well packaged, and fully intact. Now I want one more, cause what if my favorite breaks? Thanks!
Yay mug love! 🥰
I moved to Maryland from Houston in 1997 and I still miss HEB and Kroger which we don’t have here. And I was in an HEB in Austin with my sister-in-law a few years ago and it seemed so strange that they now sell beer & wine. I guess Howard may be rolling over in his grave…
Loved the Instagram post, and what I wouldn’t give to have some fresh made flour tortillas! I had for gotten about that.
No, we don’t have HEB in Maryland, but we do have Wegmans!
Please take care. We love the books but exhausted or dead writers don’t write more. Happy sleeping regularly writers are much better.
Butter tortillas….🤤
Thanks for the 25 min. Don’t know HEB as I am a northwest girl. Loved the video!
As much as I look forward to your posts, we all want you to take care of yourselves!
Sleep well!
Congratulations that Audible, Apple and Spotify all selected “This Kingdom” as their featured release for March. That is significant! I wish much good to come out of it for you both! You are awesome! I can’t wait for “This Kingdom”to be released! I know it’s in MY selection!! 😄
That was hilarious. I can’t imagine a supermarket inspiring that kind of devotion in the UK either (though I think Homesense could manage it 😂) cheers for the marvellously accented funnies.
Unsolicited advice incoming – feel free to ignore.
Has anyone told you about fascia stretching exercises for knitters/crocheter/general hand over-users?
I was sent a link to a blog demonstrating them when I first started but I can’t find it or I’d pass it on.
But if you haven’t, give it a quick search. They don’t cure all ills but they definitely relieve stiffness and some pain. Other than that, it’s using voltarol (diclofenec/ibuprofen) gel like it’s a hand cream but that’s probably not wise, it’s it?
Have a hug.
Take a breath.
The idea of This Kingdom coming out in both print and audio is so exciting I just can’t even (having discovered at the early age of 62 the delights of reading and listening so as to not waste driving time, I’m unreasonably peeved at books that don’t have audio versions).
LOVE LOVE LOVE EROS!
You hang in there, Ilona. Looking forward to the photo of the blanket.
Hysterical and true! I hosted a foreign exchange student once and she took more photos there than anywhere else. The colors of the food, turquoise blue cake, pink cupcakes. The WALL of processed meats.
I love this guy! But he’s right on so many levels. HEB takes good care of us here in Texas.
I Miss living in Texas. The warm, friendly people the amazing, rich food and….HEB! Thank you for bringing back wonderful memories from earlier in our marriage when all things were possible!
Thank you for the video; that was hilarious. “How brave of you…” That one is going into my canned-response inventory, for the times my mouth would otherwise be hanging open.
My coping mechanisms are just coming back online after a truly hideous winter. Good thing because taxes and colonoscopy prep are on the ten-day agenda, not to mention navigating a bunch of BS medical accounting. Then reno cr@p.
Washington Post had an article today on six ways to head off overthinking. Enough of it was useful to warrant the read. Now off for some adulting. My reward will be working in the garden and walking in the woods.
Omgosh! Tears of a golden retriever!😂😂. Having lived in Texas for a few years, he’s not wrong!
I’ve been following Eros since before he came to Texas. So witty and funny, but with heart.
My daughter sent me this video recently. She is in withdrawal from H‑E‑B be as she moved to St. Louis. The first time they went to the grocery store there, my 3 y/o granddaughter said “WHERE’S H‑E‑B?!?😢 I love the one where he was warned about coming to Texas because it’s dangerous since “everyone has a gun”. But the only thing he is in danger of dying from is the size of the BBQ PLATE!!! Can’t wait for the book!! I’m in San Antonio, BTW.
LOL. When we were traveling in Texas HEB was a life saver. And Publix can only be green with envy.
This may be off topic but I had to tell you I LOVE The Inheritance! Please tell me that the story continues–and when it might be available. I also love the Kate Daniels series and Hidden Legacy series. I have also read everything published so far and will always get whatever House Andrews publishes. Thanks for any info you might provide.
Hey Betsy!
So glad you liked the Inheritance! You are in good company there hehe.
I am very happy to tell you that House Andrews have confirmed there will be at least one sequel 🙂 . “When” is not something that is announced any longer, until the book is ready for release, in order to avoid pressure and frustrations 🙂
Loved the H-E-B rant, next time I’m in Texas I’ll have to talk my sister into taking me shopping there.
Yay! Welcome to club InDesign! If you ever need a question answered, we are a small buy helpful community!
Hope it’s ok that I will be saving your email in the Useful Contacts folder 🙂
Hilarious video! Thanks for sharing! had no idea about something called HEB until I saw this
Congrats on the triple crown audio news! Hilarious video, too.
Looming deadlines must be so tough – I hope you’re able to find some time to relax and enjoy a cup of tea while crocheting G’s blanket.
OMG that H-E-B blurb was hysterical. Not being from Texas I’ve never been but I can totally see this happening.
Thank you for the hysterical video. That guy is funny, and I needed all the chuckles.
I don’t think I personally know anyone on the blog, and I don’t have the brain bandwidth right now to write this, but my amazing husband of going on 45 years of marriage, and 19 years with advanced cancer is now in Home Hospice care. My heart is breaking again. We didn’t know if he could survive after his original diagnosis in 2007. He had 4 massive cancer surgeries, almost died 3 times in 2021, spent Christmas 2025 in hospital with multiple blood clots in his lungs, and now we know that we are nearing the end. Prayers are requested and appreciated.
I really do SO much appreciate the warmth, goodness, and escape value of the blog and BDH, and for HA especially as I know you care so much for your readers.
Regina, I’m so sorry you and your husband are going through this. Forty-five years together is an incredible life shared, and it sounds like the two of you have faced so much with courage over the years. Thank you for trusting the community enough to share such a tender moment.
Will keep you in my thoughts.
🫂 I’m sorry you’re going through this. Sending you all the peace and good thoughts.
Please remember to give yourself grace as you’re dealing with everything. Everything you feel is valid, no matter what it is. 🫂
Love and care to you and yours. I’m sorry for what you are going through. Sending warm hugs through the air.
Prayers sent. May the good moments be longer, the bad ones shorter, and as someone else said, give yourself grace. Take care.
Seconded. Someone is always here. Best wishes to you and yours.
Slightly random question here. Will any of the art or maps for This Kingdom be in color for the e-book? I’ve been debating the newer color Kindle (not the fire, the Colorsoft) and might use this book as a final reason to push me into getting it. 😄
I can read on my phone, but prefer to read on the Kindle. Even though lately I’ve been doing more on my phone. 🤷♀️
Also, Mod R, I’m having serious fomo over all these special editions! I fully understand that you can’t tell us anything, but trying to decide which one to get, without knowing all the choices is causing anxiety. I’m forcing myself to wait until I know, but am afraid I’ll miss out on one of the earlier ones. 😬🙈
The map is in the ebook – in black and white 🙂 . The art is for the special editions, which are physical.
Thanks! I figured there wasn’t art in the regular book, but you never know. 🤗
After watching the H-E-B video I have the urge to make a pilgrimage to Texas! I made my daughter in Ohio watch it. My husband laughed and laughed. So much joy from your blog! Thank-You so much for sharing these little gems!
What a great HEB post. 😂 I needed that today. Thank you.
Ha! That guy is funny! Texas shaped pasta?! 😂 I’m understanding the HEB references within Innkeeper…and the cult!
You take care of yourself! We love to read your stories…but not to the detriment of your health. 😘
I live just north of Austin.
Every thing he says about HEB is true.
When the state shut down in the snow apocalypse they had a disaster plan up and running that was the envy of the nation.
Those butter tortillas do melt in your mouth.
I also ordered the Waterstone special edition, no problem waiting for it since I will have read the ebook a few times before it arrives.
Thank you for the wonderful experiences you give us through you hard work, time, and efforts.
I found his instagram videos a while back. I sent the one on texas cedar pollen to one of my friends from texas. She loved it.
As a side note, look up Randy Feltface (some swearing) HEB on youtube. He’s a comedian puppeter from Australia, so he had no idea why people cheered HEB when he was doing some crowdwork for the first time in San Antonio.
I recommend a gentle swim in the slow lane at the community pool. Don’t forget your flip-flops. I am greatly looking forward to your new book to read and listen to. I hope you get some time to yourself
Sadly, I am not even near Texas or HEB but I love Eros take on it. I especially loved his comment when seeing someone buy brisket elsewhere and told them “how brave of you.” We need fun stores like HEB and Buccees here! (Oregon) Thank you for sharing this – it made me smile for sure.
The HEB reel was fabulous!
I adore Èros!!! His take on Texans is hilarious, accurate, and just delightful! Great way to take your mind off of everything bad. I can’t wait to try his bread!
When you are next to the gulf HEB has shrimp specials which convert you.
Oh my god!!!
The triple crown!
So deserved. Your stories have kept me company for YEARS. I am so excited for so many more to discover Ilona and Gordon and have such a sweeter book adventuring! Congrats. That is huge.
Eros was very funny. I had to watch it twice, it must have been quite the culture shock the first couple of visits. There is a married man from London (American wife) who lives in Texas with his family. He was shocked how far he could drive without seeing any vehicles. His father is here visiting from London and was shocked at the size of the school buses. When I lived in Virginia Beach it surprised me how close other states were, 50 miles! I had to laugh, it was 50 miles to the next small town in Montana! The Maggie books are beautiful! Alas I’m strictly E books now unless a book comes in large print. I bought a page magnifier but it’s awkward and annoying trying to manage a hardcover at the same time. Hopefully you can get time for a mini vacation when the push is over! Think of warm azure water and peaceful thoughts.
I am an ex-Texan living in NYC for the past 35+ years and that HEB post killed me! I have one ex-Texan friend with whom I shared it. Thank you, thank you!
I feel you on the crash thing. Soon as works done I’m crashing for at least an hour. I have all the patience right now because there is nothing left in the tank.
thank you that’s quite an insight
Loved Beast Business and all the short stories! Ran to reread the Hidden Legacy series again. I find I really miss Nevada’s voice.
Would you consider writing a short story from Nevada’s POV some day? Her life changed so drastically after Wildfire, I really wish I could read from her POV what her life is like now, rather than through her sisters’ POV.
Thanks for being such amazing authors, I already purchased Inheritance and pre-ordered This Kingdom.
As a voracious and loyal member of the BDH I love and appreciate anything that you both put out there. Compared to a couple of my other favourite authors, from whom I have been waiting a tortuous 5 years + for next installments in their series your output is phenomenal. It’s amazing that you keep up the threads and still have built a whole new world to draw us into. I am counting the days.
But all too often I am starting to feel that you work yourselves to a standstill so I request that in spite of all BDH’s wish lists it would actually be good to hear that you are taking time to be kind to yourselves and don’t burn out. We will still be your devoted fans if you take a breath now and again 💙
OMG I laughed so hard I was crying. I live in Texas. What can I say but I’m a HEB addict. That was one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a while.
Madly funny, the accent is the icing on the cake
Oh my H-E-B 😁😁😁
Hope you are feeling better 🥰
Eric Brousson has one a bit later on on the I-35 in Texas. ‘Construction started in the Jurassic period and is scheduled to finish three days after the heat death of the universe. I have accepted that I will grow old, die, and be buried under a fresh layer of pavement here. I’m just praying to the Buc-ees beaver that I get to come back somewhere with clean bathrooms.’
Eric’s take on why women are choosing to be single is chef’s kiss hilarious. Love this guy