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ILONA ANDREWS

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author

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Am I a Bad Person for Laughing at Your Posts?

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You are supposed to laugh at my posts. That’s why I post them – so you could have a chuckle. Unless it’s something deadly serious, which the last post definitely wasn’t. Also, there are funny jokes in the comments. Hehe.

In more funny news, Harney & Sons gifted me some Paris tea. This is the second time a company did this. First socks, now tea.

::makes sly eyes::

You know what’s a good bank? Wells Fargo. Very convenient and prompt with conflict resolution.

We’ll see what happens.

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Comments

  1. Oh the Wells Fargo wagon is a comin’ down the street, I wish, Iwish I knew what it could be!

    Good luck and maybe they will bring you something nice(:

  2. Good try! I wish you better luck than I had, but we like the new bank better overall anyway. So all for the better. And thank you so much for the books and the chuckles. And the recipes, can’t forget the recipes. Big smiles and hopes for excellent karma coming your way.

    • The COVID comfort food recipe thread in March? April? was amazing. My family is hooked on the Mississippi pot roast. Made it with a bison roast and OMG.

  4. Hahahha thank you! Just laughed at loud in my office. Thankful to have my OWN office :). Good luck with your bank woes.

    • The real sort – the ones who don’t go around telling people “I’m an influencer, you need to give me free stuff” but instead, have people come to them!

      And I can say, I have definitely made purchases due to mentions in the blog that I would not have otherwise made. And been pretty universally happy with them.

  13. I really got into the show Schitt’s Creek, way after the fact. I wasn’t sure based on the premise I would like it. I really had no idea what it really is. That first season, where they lose everything and the mom is in the closet on the floor ..and the way she just screams sometimes… I get that. LOL. I’ve never indulged but I’ve fantasised… I feel that similar sense of being able to relate when I read your just life posts.

    I say heap all the Emmy’s on you guys next… I know I know, bestseller list, etc. But I’m just saying. Heaps of awards for going above and beyond the call of writing duty.

    PS…I still see ads for Bombas socks in my Facebook feed!! I finally thought to hit the button to block it for being repetitive…

  14. I’m laughing at the title to this post. If people are asking that question, oh boy! You would tell us if it was serious.

    I needed a good laugh since my left hand is still bruised and swollen from Wednesday’s car battery saga. At least I can work today.

    ????????????????????????

  15. Lol ^_^ wondering if they’ll send some promotional money? I wish, but more likely it’d be a preapproved credit card offer

  17. You might have better chances getting free stuff from the yarn places, but best of luck with Wells Fargo (I mentioned them by name, in case it helps the bots that search for those kinds of things find your post)! ????

    By the way, did the Wells Fargo mention (????) make anyone else get the “She’ll Be Comin’ Round The Mountain” song on their head?

    • Clydesdale or something else? Those are enormous, almost moose sized. Now I’m thinking of Cuddles…isn’t it weird how the mind wanders sometimes? ????

  22. We LOVE your posts, and extra chuckles especially this week are very much appreciated (no matter who we voted for!) 🙂

  23. They keep sending me checks to reimburse me for having their identity theft protection…..over 5 years ago.

  25. Because I’m distracting myself from the news…

    1. It appears that the Paris Tea page of the Harney & Sons website is their 16th most popular page (behind delicious-sounding flavors like “White Christmas” and “Victorian London Fog”), with an estimated 618 organic clicks per month.

    2. Based on data I can see, you are currently the third backlink (in traffic generated) linking to the Paris Tea page (with Washington Post being #1).

    So… someone must be doing their job well, looking to see why the Paris Tea page got a sudden jump in traffic earlier this month! 🙂

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/food/the-no-frills-very-british-way-to-host-an-afternoon-tea/2017/04/10/28402f62-13e6-11e7-9e4f-09aa75d3ec57_story.html

  26. I am not sure about a Wells Fargo gift, although correct application of mortgage payments does sound nice.

    Whenever I read about random people emailing you with complaints ?!) about stories, I am stunned (and often laugh in a what hubris type of way).

    Maybe it’s just a function of being “old”, but I feel like you should be able to respond with a Bambi derived virus. There is a key scene “if you can’t say something nice” with rabbits that would a good use of 23 seconds.

    I think it’s available on YouTube
    YouTube.com/watch?v=nGt9jAkWie4

  30. I have an almost 20 year feud with Wells Fargo — I hold a grudge. But if they come through with “product” for you I will drop it and even stop telling the story. Oddly I was talking to my husband about it just this morning. I kept 52 cents in a free checking account that had been my primary account until Wells Fargo merged with the bank. They mailed me a paper statement every month for that account for 10 years until they decided to initiate a service charge and I closed the account – before the charge was applied. It came up because I just shifted banks again and there is 61 cents in the account I am leaving though the offense is less grievous this time. I may close this one since my husband and I have a joint account at that bank.

  33. With any luck Wells Fargo will offer you an extra zero or two right before the decimal point. Haha ????

    Very nice of Harney & Sons to gift you Paris tea ☕️ Enjoy!

  35. Well as for the tea I did recommend Paris and Chocolate to a few folks that said they were into tea…did say you liked it, and I haven’t tried it yet. Went and got my hair cut this week, and guess what they had Paris for sell there, bought it and can say I love it. They hadn’t tried Chocolate so were going add to their next order, to see if they will keep it stocked too, haven’t tried the spice yet, or the others they keep on hand but plan to go back there and buy more. LOL live in a small town was surprised to see exactly the brand, and in all places where I get my hair cut. Funny thing their price nearly the same as if I ordered it on line without shipping so to me a better price. So thanks for the recommendation might not of paid attention to the shelf of tea. Oh wish you luck on well fargo.

  37. Thanks for all the funny posts! Appreciate them.

    Never used Wells Fargo. Quite happy with my two banks: Ally for personal savings and US Bank for everything else.

    Good luck with you bank stuff and happy you enjoy the tea! Lemon Balm with calendula and chamomile is my favorite right now.

  39. Wells Fargo: You have been pre-approved for (insert here)

    I than you very much for the tea recommendations. Trying to switch from coffee just to change things up. I mix the Paris with Hot Cinnamon Spice. Excellent!

  42. So happy to amuse you! After all, you amuse the heck out of me – often – with stories, books and the blog. (Always love pet pix!)

    Free tea is always a big plus. Good for you! I drink boring at the rate of one or two cups a day, so it is never something I’ll see. That’s okay, I wouldn’t know what to do with really good tea anyway.

    Good luck with Wells Fargo.
    Personally, I have belonged to a credit union (Members Choice C U in Houston, in case anyone cares) since 1992. Their business model is great (the depositors are the owners), they do everything a bank does, and their service is great! I have not missed banks at all. Why should my deposits be making money for someone else when they can be “making money” in lower or nonexistent fees for me.

    I’m really looking forward to the next few books. Thank you for keeping us in the loop as to what’s going on with your plans. It helps to have an idea of how long the wait will be.

    • I agree with the credit union. I left Wells Fargo about 15 yrs ago after I put a freeze on my account when my wallet was stolen and they still tried to deposit all of the checks I’d written and charged me hundreds of dollars in overdraft fees. I had a small savings account at First Community Credit Union in Houston for years so after fighting with a Wells Fargo branch manager about how they could bounce checks on my account when they froze the account in the first place, I walked out of the bank and drove to the closest FCCU branch and opened a checking account with them also and moved my direct deposit over. I have never looked back. I love banking with a credit union. I now have a checking, savings, IRA and money market account with them plus a credit card and I had my mortgage and car note until I paid those off. A bonus with banking with a credit union, my pay check gets deposited a day earlier than all of my coworkers that do business with banks. Also I agree that your posts are the best. They really brighten up my days. Same with the comments. You have great fans/followers.

    • I have all my accounts in credit unions. I stopped using banks when they started charging fees for everything. I use two different credit unions. BECU in Washington State. And FirstTech based out of Oregon. They were one of the first to offer online banking in the late 1990s.

    • Mmmmm See’s candies love me some scotchmallows, Bordeaux, Butterscotch square, Molasses chips… You get the idea except for the Marzipan

  48. Have you tried Harney & Sons’ Rose Scented or Sally’s Secret? Other than their Scottish Morn and Special English Breakfast, those 2 are my favorite right now. The Scottish Morn and Special English Breakfast I have to have for my mornings. But the Rose Scented and Sally’s Secret are soooo good. If you like rose in your food.

  51. Best of luck with Wells Fargo … I have them a my mortgage company and after being party to 3 or 5 class actions where I was in no way made whole … the only winners have been the bank and the lawyers(leeches) …there is a reason Wells Fargo is highly invested in by Warren Buffet (also Geico) … my only suggestion is if it is in any way possible look into getting away from using WF for any of your business.

  54. If we’re crossing our fingers for free money I get it, but otherwise I would have tried mentioning Thorntons myself in the hope of delicious chocolates coming my way (mmmm, yummy). Or I guess Hershey’s in the US?

    I don’t know how American banks are but if they’re anything like UK ones then I would think you’re as likely to get a letter to stop and desist with mentioning their name as you are anything else!

  55. Harney & Sons is wise!

    I ordered Paris tea based on your rec, and a variety pack as a gift for a neighbor. (We already had their chocolate tea; but I don’t love it.) The Paris tea is delicious, something I’m unlikely to have found out without your post — thanks!

    And good luck w the Wells Fargo attempt!

  57. As someone who used to work at a bank, nobody likes their bank lol. When someone does have to call their bank, it’s either a chore or something has gone very, very wrong, and it’s either the bank’s fault or the bank’s responsibility to fix it. Right. Now.

    Once had a guy walk out of the branch I worked at screaming at the top of his lungs, “Never trust the bank!” Keep in mind, he’d just walked out $147 richer because of a special we were running.

    There are so many stories. So. Many. Stories. I could tell.

    • Well there are two people up thread praising the Credit Unions they bank with, and I love the Nationwide Building Society (I’m in the UK) that I bank with, the common factor being, I suspect, that we own our respective banks – they have to satisfy their customers rather than make profit for shareholders.

  60. You never fail to brighten my day, whether it is a new excerpt, those amazing happy days of new releases, or glimpses into your daily life. The glimpses are perhaps the most cherished, since the struggles are real, and so relatable! The occasional chaos you relate so hilariously makes it easier to see the humor in my own chaos central, and that is a true gift! Thank you!!

  62. That’s like when my 16 year old son asks if he can take a bath…uh YES!

    I hope Wells Fargo comes through for you … hahaha! 😉

  65. If this succeeds in actually making Wells Fargo a decent place to bank than the world will owe you a huge favor 🙂

  67. Too bad WF does not have a heart. Good luck regardless.

    Pet products! Oooooh, the possibilities!

    I love your posts. You write them, and we have similar tastes. Hope all your wiring issues are resolved now.

  68. After reading your tea post and comments by the Horde, I ordered some Harney & Sons Hot Cinnamon Spice tea in a metal tin, then couldn’t get the blasted lid off. According to some Amazon reviews, this can be a problem, at least with the Hot Cinnamon Spice tea. I contacted Harney’s customer service, who sent me a new tin. While we were chatting, I gave them the link to your webpage where you talked about their tea, hoping they would be grateful to House Andrews for the positive reviews. Certainly, I’m grateful to you two for the hours and hours of wonderful reading that your books have given me. By the way, I had the same problem with the lid of the replacement tin that their customer service sent me. I finally figured out I could use a flat-head screwdriver to pry under the lid in a few places, and the puppy popped off.

  70. Just received an order of Chocolate and Paris sample tins from Harney & Sons. Chocolate is delicious! Haven’t tried Paris yet but it smells yummy. Thank you for the tea recommendations in your earlier post!

  71. I love your tea recommendations & ordered the cinnamon tea from them after reading your blog. Happy drinking! (& good luck with that bank)

  73. Hate to rain on your parade, but are you aware that Wells Fargo is currently operating under 14 or 15 separate consent decrees?

  74. As a veteran (USMC) I use USAA for my banking and insurance needs. They are excellent at on-line banking and the customer service cannot be beat. If you are currently serving, or are a veteran, I highly recommend check them out. Hint, Hint Gordon!

    • I’ve been a member of USAA since I was a teenager thanks to my dad’s military service. They are a wonderful online bank! They’re run more like a credit union than a bank. I currently work for a local STL credit union and I’m much happier there than I was working for a brokerage firm/bank combo (now defunct). Several of my firmer co-workers work for WF, and I get mixed signals about them as a firm. But it sounds better on the brokerage side than the bank side!

      Good luck with WF, if you are lucky they might send you the annual stuffed horse, they are apparently VERY prized by the employees as a gift. From what I understand, the employees vote on which horse gets the honor each year.

  76. That was soooo funny!!

    By the way, I wanted to thank you for gifting us with Julie’s journey into adulthood. Seeing her evolve from a traumatized child into the self-aware and determined young woman she is today has made her my favorite IA character to date – and trust me it’s hard to pick a favorite out of all your amazing heroines.

    Warm regards, Regina
    PS I thoroughly enjoyed the edited Chapter one of Blood Heir.

  77. Hahaha! Ilona, I wrote to them and told them that you had rhapsodized about their teas 🙂

    So, I didn’t have to get all creeper and send House Andrews a pandemic present myself.

  78. I love the sly eyes! Perhaps they’ll send a stagecoach to take you on a ride one day. That would be fun, I think. I’ll wait for the post to see what happens.

    I think writing out all that crap about how tough things were last week is a good way to clear it out of your head. Just telling someone helps, and you certainly tell a lot of people! Sometimes, I just type it all out and delete it from the e-mail I’m writing because I’ve gotten it out and it’s suddenly not so important to actually have someone else read it. If I could make it funny the way you do, I’d send it. I’m just not funny that way.

    I love the cat photo, too. That’s a keeper! You can use that many times for various posts.

  79. Oh God, Don’t tempt fate. We can only get some much luck and positive outcomes this month!!!!!

  80. i am always laughing with you! And hey! Where did you get a picture of my cat and why did you photoshop his eyes?

  81. That makes me smile. I definitely ordered some of their chocolate tea thanks to your post- and I love it, so thanks!! You should tell us about your favorite yarn store so we can browse their web site and tell them you sent us…
    Good luck with Wells Fargo!

  83. But, wait – so many unresolved questions!

    Did you ever find the right white paint?

    Have Kids 1 and 2 resolved their conflict? Was banana bread involved?

    Did you manage to buy Canadian Chanel? Does it smell like maple syrup and apology?

    And why is your office crooked? Does this mean you write at an angle? And would that make it a write angle?

    I’m sorry. I’ll stop now.

  84. Lord we love laughing at your tales. Needed it this evening. I work closing shift at my store. Was doing the covid cleaning this evening looked up to see a charming customer had spat on the shield in front of my station. I’m 5ft and this was above my head so it wasn’t a kid. We’ve worked our backsides off throughout the pandemic dealing with scared and angry people and some moron decides its a great idea to spit on the shield. People just suck.

  85. I wish I can easily buy Harney & Sons too in supermarket in Indonesia. Super curious about the Paris and Chocolate flavor. Want to try them from official store without expensive delivery price from abroad n_n

  86. So Wells Fargo is a real existing company? I’ve only ever seen the name in Lucky Luke comics. I thought it was fictional or maybe something that disappeared with the Wild West :).I’m learning a lot from this blog.

    • Wells Fargo was founded in 1852 and when they operated, the had a guy with a rifle sitting next to the driver. Their rifles show up on Antiques Road Show. They’re still in business today and still have armed guards.

      Fun fact. Armed Guards delivering money have no sense of humor. My mom who was infamous for making inappropriate remarks walked up and asked for money. They turned around with guns out and pointed at her and fortunately did not shoot the crazy woman with her hubby and kids in the background. After the initial shock, we were laughing our heads off. My dad’s stock remark was “Oh Beverly” in a very resigned voice.

  89. I laugh at your posts. I laugh with the and at the characters in your books. Your blog has helped me so much since March. Thank you. My daughter and I both enjoy your books.

    My cats and husband know I love your books.

  90. If you are still looking at possible places to move, I am very happy to live in Pennsylvania right now. Very happy!

  92. Thank you for the snarky laughs. I so needed that. Starting week 4 post surgery bilateral knee replacement. Yup – did both at one time. One knee feels great, the other one is stiff. Even enjoy reading about all the drama going on in your life as my just revolves around PT. Ooof.

  93. I left Wells Barfo a few years back when they proved unable to keep basic paperwork and personal data straight. They crossed up mine and my wife’s birthdays and wouldn’t fix them unless we both came in at the same time. They mis-entered my name and argued about fixing it. They fouled up which member of the allowed list on our safe deposit box was supposed to get the annual bill and couldn’t keep the addresses straight. We could make corrections, and a week later they’d be changed back to the wrong versions. Then around the time of the unasked-for accounts scandal we closed all of our accounts and have had almost no problems with our new institutions.

  95. Just want to say, USAA is the best. Thanks to Gordon’s service you are eligible. Check them out.

    Also, loved the new chapter one. The new additions (editions ? ;)) clear up some things that bothered me initially, which I NEVER posted cuz I’m not the writer, its not my story and I don’t get a say. Just sayin’.

    Thanks to both of you for your service to us! You guys got me through so many crises over the years. Your books, the blog and the BDH!

  96. Good luck with Wells Fargo. My credit union won’t even give out free samples. I can understand no more freebies at the grocery stores but I can at least put money samples under UV light.

  97. I bought some very nice teas from Harney after that post. The black tea with apricot is phenomenal. Thanks!

  98. I bought Harney Chocolate tea because you said so. ???? It’s wonderful! I even sent some decaf version to my friend for her birthday. You soooo deserve freebies!

  99. HA! Good luck with that one! They’ll probably send you a calendar. (I think I have about a hundred of them from various vendors.)

  101. Oh boy, how many thousands of responses did you get about house slippers? I’m adding my comments too: I love my Crocs flip flops. They keep my feet off the cold floor, if I have to run outside they are up to it (no soggy slippers), they are extra comfortable, and they last forever. Mine are at least 3 years old. Yeah, they do the flip flop noise but they stay on your feet.

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