Bad things come in threes. Two of the three things are now rolling to conclusion: I’ve had my endoscopy and it went better than I expected, although we are still waiting on the biopsy results. Glad that’s over. And the infected eye of Charlie the French Bulldog has ruptured after 3 months of us treating it with antibiotics and drops and was taken out. So we have a pirate dog. At some point Charlie was on 7 different medications administered on a strict schedule and the eye never got better.
Kid 1’s headache is the only issue still in progress. They are now talking nerve block and she will need an MRI of her neck.
Today we are starting back on the sequel to Sapphire Flames. 🙂
Perhaps because of all the stress, I have purchased more yarn.
Update: we wrote 800 words, which were mediocre, and now I am brain dead. This is terrible.
I’m gonna go out on an limb and say mediocre from you is a lot better than most writers. I’ve read some really brain dead stories.
Thanks for all that you do, we really appreciate it.
You pretty much hit the nail on the head. I will take bad IA over what some other authors call “OMG this is the best book EVER”. —though we will never see it because they have too much work pride—
Karen the Griffmom says
OK. Wishing your kid good health. In Africa we believe the greatest wealth is health.
Hoping you would find a permanent cure for the headache.
Kelly Jacobs says
We always love your work.
You have told us that getting it written down is the main hurdle.
You have done 800 words!
We support you!
I can’t attach a picture, but I’m guessing most people have seen that one.
Huh, I typed stuff in between the carrot marks, but it disappeared. So I’ll try it again with parentheses. (Insert cute picture of a cat hanging from a tree limb saying “Hang in there!”) ?
It is not terrible, you have bought more yarn. It is one great thing that happened today.
Consider the yarn a future plot device, and you can knit your way to a sequel? Perhaps write off the yarn as a tax deduction?
And dogs are so resiliant, we are probably suffering more on behalf of the animals that we love, than they do.
If all else fails, you can always use the yarn to tie up Gordon. I’ll let you decide on a reason to tie up your husband. I simply offer the suggestion.
Patricia Schlorke says
That’s like in one of Nalini Singh’s Angel’s Blood where Dimitri ties up Elena because she shot Raphael at the bottom of his wings. Just don’t shoot Gordon. Tie him up for whatever reason, yes. Shooting, no. ?
Tiger Lily says
I hope things get better. It is difficult to work when things are out of sync. Sending good energy to Kid 1.
Cherylanne Farley says
At least know if there was an opportunity for goodness positivity whatever to be transferred thru the—ummm??–air or digital–umm–magic?? Of it all you guys would be rolling in super great chocolate brownies bags of gold coins doggie eye patches and epically happy healed kiddos. Just surf the waves right now. You got this.
Getting words down is a win, especially when it’s the last thing you are up to. You all have been through a lot. I hope Kid 1 is better soon. She has been through a hell of a lot.
Elizabeth G says
Mediocre can always be improved, but editing a blank page sucks!
I’m glad things are going. My husband has chronic headaches. BP meds and having in-office eye surgery to perforate the iris because something involving the fluid pressure in his eyes when the pupil dialates…. anyway that has helped some to a more “functional” level on migraines. I find that anything is worth taking and that “migraine” is basically “chronic head pain that can be caused by anything — wanna draw from the hat today?”
Just the few posts from the BDH, said it all. Your mediocracy is most author’s best. Hugs and hang in there, because we will wait.
Bummer/yay Pirate Dog! Keeping fingers crossed on your results and sending positive vibes. We have also been dealing (remotely) with our youngest son’s illness that sounds strikingly similar to Kid2. He is now 44 and for the last 3 years he has been suffering from severe headaches, photophobia, severe vomiting, etc. They have ran just about every test they can. The doctors think he might have NDPH (new onset persistent daily headache) but it is not well researched so there is really no clear way for relief. He hasn’t been able to work full time for the last 3 years due to this. Medical coverage is not much but they keep pushing through trying to get a clear diagnosis. It sucks and worrisome. I wish Kid2 fast diagnosis and quick fix.
Mediocre is still a start. Hopefully, you’ll feel better and more in control of life getting back into a normal routine. Good luck with Kid 1’s headache problem. Sorry about Charlie’s eye. My Persian is being treated for a recurrent viral eye infection. We’d gotten it into remission, and then it flared up resulting in a corneal ulcer. You do the best you can.
Hang in there. More options today for migraine than in past (I work in clinical trails, and one can always be an option if standard care doesn’t produce results). Can always use some distraction writing the migraine and pirate dog into a subplot. Perhaps new magic with magnetic disruption interferes with MRI at hospital (or an MRI used for security screening of some sort). Or character stops off to get something for migraine and avoids being in building or overpass, etc. that is destroyed. Pirate dog keeps showing up at key events, followed at some point to an important clue. Find joy where you can.
I had an endoscopy last year. It was like a cattle call. Oh vey. I was rolled in and hooked up to an IV for anesthesia which hurt like hell and said “F**k that hurts then next thing I knew a nurse was waking me up to leave. Have a good weekend and give my best to Kid 1. Acupuncture may help her migraines.
Our oldest has a pirate Chihuahua mix. The neighborhood kids call him One-eyeballhead. He walks in circles. Your woozle would probably prefer to lose the eye over many medications, so I hope he recovers quickly.
Eight hundred words on a page is at least forward momentum. So we are all happy about that.
As for the Kid, I wish we could find the solution for the headache. We will simply all have to wish and hope real hard that the doctor figures it out.
Good luck and best wishes.
This is going to sound crazy but have you looked at food allergies for Kid 1. I started to get migraines in high school nothing worked for them drug wise. Went to a holistic healing facility they did food allergy testing and items I’ve always eaten I was allergic to. Control my diet controls the headaches. Something to look into.
Another suggestion because this just happened to a co-worker…
Have they tested Kid 1 for Vitamin D deficiency? In my co-worker’s case, it was a secondary symptom, but the main reason she went to the doctor was because she was having severe foot pain. I would have thought calcium deficiency in that case, but she said calcium deficiency is a possible sign of Vitamin D deficiency, but a Vitamin D deficiency is not necessarily a sign of calcium deficiency. (Vitamin D helps the body to absorb calcium.)
Anyway, she was getting migraines and she hasn’t had them since she went on a once-a-week high-dose Vitamin D supplement.
My migraines will trigger if I take meds that have talc in the base. Even over the counter items, migraine meds, other prescriptions, etc can use talc as the base, then they don’t work. To make pills big enough they use talc or cellulose. So the allergy route is definitely one to consider.
R Coots says
I guess it’s good that two of the three are winding down. I do hope the migraines find a treatment soon. Preferably one that gets rid of them entirely. And yay for new words! Do we get pictures of the yarn?
barbara stewart says
So its eeny meeny miney moe. Trichinosis which is a worm that makes a cyst, aneurysm, fluid buid up that isn’t draining, an abcess tooth, a nail or other foreign object, etc, etc, etc.
Have had that eye surgery and it has helped a lot.
Has anyone ever had a wellness check? Had one a couple of years ago. Been wanting to get on thyroid med for 30 yrs or so. Did get on thyroid meds and got dosage up to mid range. Was low on potassium. This led to getting and obgyn , a heart doctor, and a colon exam. Forgot to doc had low blood sugar and after the operation he had me on high glucose setting. Got my sugar levels up to 200.
So decided to have another one this year, So now instead just being on low fat and sugar and slow carb diet, get to add low salt and high fiber going more for water fiber instead of fat fiber.
Have you checked with the WebMD?
No idea about migraines, but I read Lyme Disease is often misdiagnosed.
Ms. Kim says
Brain dead? Ice cream! Floating in pool. Mindless hedonism.
A friend of mine swears by those floats you do in a dark egg… it sounds like a claustrophobia trigger for ME but she finds it incredibly stress relieving and renewing…. ?
Hugs. Many, many hugs. Hoping you all get some rest.
Perhaps Charlie could rock an eye-patch like Samuel L Jackson’s in the MCU movies?
Î that (trying to get an arrow pointing up, not having much success)
Two out of three (pretty much) taken care of isn’t bad – although I’m sure you’d prefer the docs had miraculously discovered what was causing Kid 1’s migraines and gotten rid of them. Re pirate dog – do you get Shelly Laurenston’s newsletter? A few months ago, she mentioned that her dog, Gaius, had to have his eye removed because the pressure in it was dangerously high and getting higher. She showed a picture of him and he, too, is now a pirate dog. She said the loss doesn’t seem to bother him at all. Anyway, sending you lots of good wishes that the biopsy comes back clean and that Kid 1 gets relief from her migraines soon. And news that you’ve started on Hidden Legacy 5 is WONDERFUL, especially given what you and your family have been and are still going through. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Melissa b says
Good luck getting back in the saddle and don’t be to hard on yourselves. Sometimes it just takes a bit for feeling like things flow again. The flip side is you may need more of a break and that’s fine too.
Charlie will be fine, Shelly Laurenston’s dog Gaius has also lost an eye & he’s rocking the patch.
800 words is 800 words more than I’ve ever written. Better than looking at a blank screen. Gotta start somewhere. Etc etc, we know it’ll eventually turn into a fabulous book, brain dead or not 🙂
Very sorry kid 1 is still having migraine problems, no solutions from me, just sending best wishes that they sort it out asap.
Hope the biopsy results are great & they get to you fast.
And I’d also like a photo of the yarn …… just saying 😀
Happy to hear about the yarn; you deserve an alpaca/silk blend. Sorry to hear about everything else. Surprised to hear that an MRI is only just now occurring, unless your young’un suffers from claustrophobia–in which case I’m behind her all the way. If it indicates a herniated disc then at least she’ll have something she can tackle with PT. Been there, done that. I’m thinking healing thoughts at all of you. Best wishes.
My one-eyed pet sitting client was an orange tabby cat named Fromie, short for Fromage (his momma called him her “golden cheese boy”!) I often referred to Fromie as the “One-Eyed Wonder Cat,” but he was more often than not the “One-Eyed Make-Me-Wonder Cat”!!!
Pirate Pet Love FOREVER!!!!
Patricia Schlorke says
First off: deep breath in through nose.
Second: exhale slowly through mouth.
Repeat as necessary.
800 words is mediocre?! I don’t think so. At least it’s something to start on. Another author I read is taking her time just to write the next book in her series. She started over a year ago, and isn’t finished with the first draft.
Please (on bended knee) take time to knit, rest, or whatever it is that makes you happy. If writing 800 words a day makes you happy go for it.
This, too, shall pass.
I hope things start looking up for you soon.
I have to say that as a fellow artist (painting vs writing) if all your emotional energy is absorbed by other things it is awfully hard to create. The mere fact that you guys knocked out 800 words is a major success. Maybe declare victory, have a cuppa tea or a bourbon or whatever floats your boat and take a well deserved sleep?
Stupid migraines. What’s really fun is when taking pain killers for the migraines causes the next one. FYI…
Ilona and Gordon, take your time writing. We want your creative, witty, sassiness, which is hard to do when you’re tied in knots. We understand. Hope things finally resolve for you.
Margaret R says
So sorry about your doggie but I bet he’s relieved. Hope Kid 1 finds a solution also, food allergies, or impacted wisdom teeth can cause headache. A friend of mine who has minor scoliosis was having neck pain and they discovered bone spurs on her neck, she’s better now. Good luck, take a break, get some rest, your readers will wait patiently.
Theodore D. says
Ilona & Gordon,
I love your persistence… it gives me something to strive for and work towards!
Thank you for your wonderful example of doing all you can and keeping going! <3
I’m sorry everything is so horrible for your family right now, it seems like everything is just piling up for you guys. When I feel washed out and brain dead, I go back and read the books from my childhood, some of the first fantasy novels I really connected with and gave me the escape I needed back then. For me that’s usually the Song of the Lioness series by Tamora Pierce, and basically the rest of her books as well. Maybe it’s because I can rely on how the story arc unfolds, and know what lies ahead that gives me that sense of comfort. Whether it’s yarn or video games or reading, I hope that you guys get the comfort and relief you need in order to reset and stay healthy.
Well wishes to you, your daughter and family,
Judy Siudzinski says
Sorry to hear things still going badly. I had daily, constant headaches for over a month. It was due to TMJ Temporomandibulur Joint Syndrome, basically clenching or grinding teeth. Didn’t even realize I was doing it! I hope doctors can help your daughter sooner rather than later.
Talked to my chiropractor last week and told him about Kid 1 and the migraines, he said he’s happy to recommend a chiropractor local to you who does similar treatments as he does. He said he has a very high rate of clearing up migraines in kids . Let me know if you want explore this farther.
Good wishes on the test results and Kid1 getting some relief. Hopefully the dog will heal fast.
I’m sorry about all the stuff you are dealing with. No fun at all, especially the sick kid. Buying yarn is a nice therapeutic move. What did you buy?
Joy W says
I do this, too, Sarah! That comfort bookshelf has helped me weather many a trial.
Blessings to you all, Ilona! As someone mentioned earlier, and because so many of your readers have or know someone with migraines, perhaps you can take your frustration out on behalf of kid1 as a plot device? I remember how helpless I’ve felt when either child of mine was sick. Argh! One year of tests for one with never a satisfactory answer. Over time, she has learned to deal.
Along with everyone else, I truly pray for a swift, correct diagnosis for your daughter!?
They shared it with me, now I’ll share it with you.
You’ll probably Love-It OR Hate-It: https://youtu.be/QH2-TGUlwu4
I’m glad you seem to be healthy, I’m glad pirate dog seems ok despite his new status, and I really hope Kid 1 gets better. Best wishes for all ♡
Oh, darlings. I love you.
I ordered Innkeeper #4, and realized that I didn’t have #3 in my collection (was doing a read-through from the beginning). So I ordered #3.
I’m realizing that I’ll have read through the Innkeeper series in just a couple of days. IA-deprivation. Can’t stand the thought of that, plus more summer heat – so I’ve ordered Hidden Legacy Nos. #1-3. (Must have gotten my earlier versions from the library. Need my own. HL #1 is in hardcover – how nice! Worth the extra.)
I’m LOANING Innkeepers #1-2 to my friend, for her terribly literary-precocious 12 or 13-year old daughter to read. (The same who has already read through the Harry Potter series, a couple of other young adult series, and the mom is very eager to find age-appropriate summer reading materials for a girls who is emotionally at-age, but whose reading skills are way up there … ). Innkeeper should hold her for a while. (At some point, I may have to spring for copies for her; am building out my own complete set now.)
Which is a back-a** way of saying that I love you. (After all, if I can paraphrase Charles Dickens, “No one ever wrote, except for money.” And I realize that while you love what you’re doing – even if you’re tired, stressed, and exhausted right now, you ARE doing this for a living. So … “I love you” means that I’m ordering your books. And will probably order more as birthday/ Christmas presents for said 13-year-old.)
Hang tough, darling.
I love you for getting back into things.
So appreciate your putting work out as much as you do. Two IA novels this summer (w/ the Sapphire still to come) will take the edge off the summer heat-pain.
Thank you so much!
Karen the Griffmom says
Ordering all of Innkeper for my granddaughter. Love you guys. Snootboops to pirate doggo! We’re siblings – I’ve got one eye covered, too. Uveitis.
Growing up I had a pirate doggy called Bob. He got hit by a car and lost an eye, but once it healed it didn’t seem to bother him too much. He used to roam our neighborhood and walk us to the taxi stop and back.
Life often gets in the way, dont feel bad for taking a break or struggling. At least something was written even if you don’t think it was good.
Sending good vibes your way!
Had a pirate cat once due to an unfortunate night golf game my brothers played. Cool cat.
Otherwise, as a former mental health therapist, I’d say y’all are doing well. Resolutions to difficulties with yet another difficulty produce as much exhaustion initially. Carry on, it’ll be okay.
Best wishes for Pirate Dog and Kid1s headaches. Don’t stress over the writing. Take care of you and yours and worry about the other stuff later.
So. I am sorry things are not so great. I would like to share last weekend in the hope it gives you a smile.
I bought my first ever EV…a Hyundai Kona. Lovely. Picked it up on Friday. Cv happy.
Sat pm I called the RAA (not sure of American equivalent for nice people who come and fix your car when it is dead or dying). I could not unplug the car from the wall charger. As the nice man turns up YouTube gives me an answer. THERE IS A BUTTON! Thank you Hyundai for making this obvious in your Manual….NOT.
Sum am ( yes less than 12 hrs later and w 96ks on the clock) I called the RAA again as the car was dead. You know, like the dodos. Apparently I needed to read the instruction book to learn how to turn off the car. Like, pressing the power button is not enough. Apparently you also need to not have your foot on the foot brake. Or else, you know, your (12v) battery will doe and your EV wil” need to be jumpstarted,
I am in despair. So far even w carbon credit am so far behind I should set up my own forest. +sigh+
Maybe will become a guerilla tree planter!
I hope you smiled, and a little joy sparkled in your life today ???
Did you read the owner’s manual yet?
Forgot to mention, in case it makes you smile: I have been re-reading the Kate Daniels series on audio for my commute and just finished Magic Rises. The argument scene in the mountains where Curran tosses boulders and rocks in his anger while completely naked had me laughing so hard I cried all the way home from work the other day. Thank you!
Patricia Schlorke says
Thank you for the reminder of a naked Curran tossing rocks to get his anger out. What a lovely picture for Friday morning (here in Texas). 😀
Lisa L says
I watch Vet Ranch on youtube all the time and hate it when they have to remove an eye or a limb, but the animal always seems much happier once the painful body part is gone.
For us humans it always seems like the end of the world if we lost an eye or a limb. We could learn a lot from our little fuzzballs.
Yarn is good. 800 words is good. It’s progress. Sometimes you just have to keep writing until something clicks, and away you go. Knitting needles always seem to click. Must be part of the attraction.
Something I was told once: “Any job worth doing is worth doing badly.”
Even doing a half a job is better than no t doing it at all. You now have 800 words, before you had 0.
You are 800 words better off than yesterday.
Glad to hear about some resolution for you all. I’m beyond impressed that you got any writing done at all. Best wishes for some diagnoses that will allow effective treatments.
RJ Blain says
My stress purchase was art supplies. I am now painting a cat with a laser and a centurion helm because Bob Ross told me to paint what made my heart happy.
I make cards for holidays. Allll the holidays. Stickers, and cute cards if I can find “themed” ones, otherwise the blank ones from the hobby store. Also, themed postage, if possible. Fourth of July is one of my favorites. Also May Day, the old-fashioned one; we used to make May Day baskets in Girl Scouts with tissue paper flowers, for hospitals or retirement homes. My theory: I have fun and people like real mail .vs. bills and advertising.
Leigh Ann says
For you daughter’s headaches.
I’m not going to say, “HAVE YOU TRIED (insert miracle cure here) BECAUSE IT WORKED FOR ME!!!” No. Because I nearly killed a girl who asked if, because my migraines were triggered by light, if I had ever considered wearing sunglasses. No, bitch. I definitely considered suicide *before* I thought to put on sunglasses. Thank heavens you made that insightful suggestion!
But what I am going to say is: in my experience, there is not *one* magic bullet. I took pain control classes at Kaiser, and they basically taught me to use alllll the things. So, it’s not physical therapy, and it’s not one special medicine, and it’s not avoiding triggers — it’s all of that, and sometimes I still get migraines, but now I can control them better.
I wish you and her all the luck in the world.
kris ten-eyck says
Yay – YARN! More yarn for the stash is always a good to relieve stress. I went online last week looking for ‘big box store’ acrylic yarn to crochet a baby afghan for sister’s co-worker and ended up buying 12 skeins of that brand in a different color for myself, as well as 9 skeins of a bamboo cotton blend that absolutely love. Since I now have 2 baby afghans by October and 6 kid-sized afghans by Christmas, I have no idea when I am going to get to the yarn I bought for myself, but what my husband doesn’t know won’t hurt him…. lol
Karen Alonzi says
A good friend of mine in her 20s went through a similar period of constant headaches and nausea. This was a terrifying time for us, and my heart goes out to you and your daughter. I watch anxiously for more news, and send little prayers your way.
Hang in there, and don’t give up. Your daughter needs you to be her medical advocate if the medical advice isn’t working. A solution IS out there, so keep smiling and keep pushing.
That’s what we did, and today my friend is fine. She was eventually diagnosed with a tiny leak in the fluid sac around her spinal column. She had to spend another six weeks on bed rest, but it worked. (Normally this is the result of a traumatic injury and easily diagnosed, but not in her case. Further evidence that I don’t hang with normal girls…)
Lisa P says
You need to give yourselves a break. You have had so many things going on. Sending you good thoughts and lots of love!
It probably won’t cure anything, but maybe you guys should have a Mother/Daughter day and get professional massages.
It can’t hurt, and it may help with tension so the other therapies can work better.
I would really like to see any projects you make. To me, knitting and crochet are like magic. Hey, here is pretty fibers… and then ***POOF!*** There is an amazing hat/scarf/blanket. Lololol
Deborah Armstrong says
Fiber…… I spin, and I dream of handing Ilona a beautiful skein of something two ply and fluffy…but she says she cannot accept gifts.
Maybe I should try selling it to her…or to Kate…or Nevada….Dina? Or just lobbing it over the wall at Hugh.
Laura Patterson says
I tend to get yarn if I’m stressed. I Have a closet full. Lol.
Happy the pups OK. I love pirate dogs.
It all gets better eventually. Nowadays doctors are better than ever.
Life is all about ebbs and flows. Hopefully this ebbing time doesn’t last much longer and you can heal into the flow part once again. Sending strength and good thoughts your way that an answer for her pain comes quickly.
I hope you have a fun vacation planned. Chilling out at the beach. You deserve it. Good luck with the nerve block. They can do wonders.
Chris T. says
One foot in front of the other, keep on slogging. Sounds like the doggie is better off as a pirate and you’ve got good medical advice. Here’s and cheers to a weekend! I have to write out about 60 invitations to a bridal shower by Monday, so I know what I’ll be doing, lol!
Cindy Mc says
I’m so sorry. I’m glad two of the three things are over with, but that third one (your daughter) is a doozy. I hope that all turns out well. I certainly feel for you. Hugs and love and best wishes.
Elise Logan says
I actually wrote a FB post on this not too long ago – 800 words is better than no words. Baby steps. Y’all are AWESOME.
Rebecca Schaefer says
Sorry to hear Kid1 headaches aren’t getting better! I used to suffer from debilitating migraines. MRI looked fine, so neurologist started me on daily prescription meds with emergency meds as well, and even they only kind of worked.
Then I found my new chiropractor, he uses the Torque Release Technique(TRT) to put specific bones back in place rather than the manual manipulation my other chiropractors have used. Within ONE MONTH I was able to come off ALL PRESCRIPTIONS! How he does his practice is a bit different, and it actually cost me less than insurance would have charged me and without the visit limitations that go with it. Started 3x/week for the first month, 2x/week for the next two, and then 1x/week to finish out a year of treatment where now I only see him every other week, and he tailors the treatment plan to each individual. After I started seeing him I only had FOUR migraines in a YEAR!!!
His team can probably help find out who in your area uses this technique if you wanted to pursue this, just contact them at firstname.lastname@example.org . I hope Kid1 finds some relief that works for her!
I know you have professional obligations to meet, and that makes everything harder. But please don’t let the BDH enthusiasm for more everything push you into lack of self care. We want you and your family to be healthy first!
Lynne Binkley says
Hang in there! I second several comments about allergies – they can have very weird side effects. Doesn’t hurt to take a look anyway, after doctors have ruled out more common causes. Sending best wishes to kid1, Charlie and you both.
I get it, more than I wish I did so I’ll share my story. The last week of February, my husband and I put a contract in a house we REALLY like in the same town where our oldest daughter lives. We moved here two years ago, at her request; she has MS (in remission, thank God) and I have RA. We all agreed it might be beneficial if we lived closer than 6 hours apart.
Four days after we signed the contract, my husband broke his back (compression fracture of L1 vertebra) in a work accident. No surgery, but a very long recovery. So no lifting, no bending, no stooping, NO HELPING pack for the move. He’s a great guy and hates to see anyone struggle, especially me so not helping was torture for him. He got to open and close the door for me, which was a huge help, but made him very cranky. 🙂
The day after we closed on the house, he has some bloodwork done. He’d had pneumonia for 5 months over the winter and I was very concerned because in our 30 years together he’s NEVER been sick. The doctor called him back the following week for more bloodwork. Meanwhile, he’s gone back to work, light duty and I’m moving us one van load at a time. It wasn’t too bad, just very tiring.
A couple of days after the second blood test, the doctor’s nurse calls my husband to tell him he’s been referred to a specialist. No explaination, no nothing. When he called the doctor back that afternoon to find out more, the receptionist told him the referral was to a Hemotologist/Oncologist. The doctor never returned our calls and has been fired.
Meanwhike, we’re still moving. We gave ourselves the month of April to move, because 1) the new house was less than a mile from our rental. 2) we could only afford to hire movers for the heavy stuff, furniture, etc. 3) we thought our daughter and grandsons would help. They didn’t.
Our daughter did not help us, at all, and both grandsons who live out of town, couldn’t get away to help us, which we understood. When we did hear from our daughter it was, to tell us why she couldn’t help (too busy). Ok.
We didn’t tell anyone anything about my husband’s blood issue until we had a diagnosis, which was the end of May. He has acute MDS, which is bone marrow cancer that will become acute myloma leukemia if he doesnt get a bone marrow transplant asap.
We told the family the day after we found out and our daughter said we were lying and has disowned us. Yeah, it’s a brain twister.
I think that’s the 3, at least I hope it is, because I don’t think we can take anything else.
But there are blessings in all this.
He broke his back at work so it’s under workers comp and he is healing. If he’d broken it during the move, I don’t know where we be financially
I believe in miricles.
My friends and spiritual community has rallied in loving support of us and after I told them about my husband’s MDS, his numbers stabilized and have continued to stay above the doctor’s expectations.
He has responded well to chemo so far with manageable side effects. He still goes to work, everyday, M-F. It keeps him sane. Still on light duty because of his back.
He LIKES his doctors and that’s just amazing because he really dosent like doctors.
His bone marrow transplant is on schedule for October, which is the soonest it can happen, in the facility of our choice under the care of doctors we trust.
Our daughter has never been to our new home. She has moved in with a guy we haven’t met and we dont know where she lives or works. In a matter of weeks,she went from our daughter to a total stranger. Her’s choices have saddened and hurt us, but she’s an adult with grown children and they are hers to make. She’ll hopefully find the help she needs to heal whatever has her to angry.
We love our new home. It’s HOME. We’re mostly unpacked and enjoying having our own space again. We will get through this. My husband’s prognosis is good. Unlike other cancers, for MDS, a successful bone marrow transplant ends it forever. He’ll be monitored, of course, but his doctor says if he makes it through the first year, and we all believe he will, he could outlive us all.
I’ve written this so you’ll understand I really get where you are. The stress of not knowing what’s the root cause of your daughter’s headaches is overwhelming. I hope you get you are loved and supported by a HUGE community that holds you very dear, not because you write amazing books (which you do) but because you are wonderful, kind, generous, loving people who deserve all good things in life.
All is well, all is well and all manner of things are well.
Jennifer johnson says
Love and prayers
Wow. What a difficult time you have been having! I’m happy that is a solution for your husband’s health issues. You sound if you are dealing with your daughter’s craziness very rationally. I will send reiki healing energy to your husband for his health and to you for your stress. Hope everything improves soon. Enjoy your new home ?.
Thank you both. I won’t lie, there have been bad days were all I’ve wanted to do is cry. And I have wept, in fear for my husband, sorrow for my daughter. But I always come back to knowing, in my heart of hearts, all I can do is take one day at a time, let go of what i cant change, love as generously as I know how, myself and him, treasuring every minute, every smile, every touch.
Cheryl M says
Yarn solves all problems. I hope Kid1 finds relief very soon!
Carysa Locke says
Ilona, you’ve had a really rough time. I’m so sorry. Especially about Kid1. I think the absolute worst thing for any parent is when their kid is in pain and they can’t fix it. When my Dad passed. I was 19, my little sister was 14. I will never forget watching my Mom hold her and rock her saying over and over again that she was so sorry. Watching her children hurt with a grief she couldn’t shield them or protect them from was devastating for her. When I had my miscarriage, it was the same. Mom felt powerless, but she drove an hour and a half and was right there bringing me flowers and a soft teddy bear and cooking meals for me, trying to help in other ways because she couldn’t do anything to stop the pain I was in.
Hopefully, the doctors will find something that works for Kid1 soon. In the meantime, don’t be hard on yourself. 800 words is better than zero words, even if you end up rewriting them later. Writers have this tendency to beat ourselves up over word counts or lack thereof. “Ugh, I’m so horrible. I watched three episodes of Good Omens today and wrote 500 words. I suck.” Instead of “Hey, everything is terrible, but I wrote 500 words today, go me!” Sometimes just the act of getting words down is enough to help you get back into it after a break, too. Be kind to yourself. Tomorrow will be better.
Gail G says
Self care first. Kid1 sort of first too. Mess with the yarn, get a massage, small vaycay? Life’s too short. Tea? Really good wine? Publisher better be kind. Your readers, the least of your problems. We’ll be here, rereading as needed.
Other Barbara says
I just read about a dad who knitted a blanket ofmhis son’s sleep patterns.
Perhaps you could design a scarf that reflects word counts..adjectives, nouns, etc
Special colors for rewrites and writers blocks.
Random bits of medical bill totals yarn design?
Bruce R says
800 words is sort of like infinity in both directions (8 ∞) … so it’s all a matter of PoV!
We love you! Hoping & praying for a speedy, successful solution for Kid 1’s headache.
Judy Schultheis says
800 words is a good start after what you’ve just been through. I’m glad you got the yarn – I’m not a knitter myself, but I do understand how soothing the process can be for people who are.
My first cat was Sybil, she was a one eyed stray all black kitten we adopted from my block. Her one eyed never interfered with her yearly trying to climb to the top of the Christmas tree. She was feisty, friendly and would put her paws on my legs and accompany me when I played the piano and sang. I never could finish a song.She made me laugh so much. My friends thought she was brilliant and weird. This was before cell phones,so her singing is only in my memory.
Charlie will adjust, and he is now even more distinguished.
Hope kid 1 finds something that works for her. Both me and my mom got miagraines from weather changes. It’s not something you first think , but my mom could tell when a storm was coming.
I got really nauseous when a large earthquake hit. Any where in the world. Or right before the earthquake hit. It was a very weird feeling .I only told my mom.
Your body is very complex and everyone is different.
Take care , and things really do get better. Or your coping skills get more efficient.
New book, we have had Fire books 1-3, now jewels , 3.5 and 4 . So 5 and 6 could be Ruby and Emerald.
Loved the short story about Leon, Arabella and Grandma. They are such a devoted, crazy family. Love each one.
And in Sapphire Flames , loved all the dialogue between Bug and Catalina.
It was unexpected and just so damn funny.
Thank you for your writing and your high standards .
I am sure you guys are trying everything. but I thought I’d mention this in case it hadn’t come up – A good friend of mine has suffered from debilitating migraine for years, and recently discovered she has a disk in her neck that constantly “slips” – when she has it adjusted, the migraines go away. She is working on physical therapy to try and keep it from slipping anymore.
Steve Lucas says
hugs to you! my brothers dog has only 1 eye she is healthy and happy, barely caused her to slow down. I’m lucky and cyropracter fixing my neck fixed my head hurts, my thoughts and well wishes are with you and your daughter. Good luck, hope she can feel better soon
So glad to hear the good news and pray for your daughter to be treated successfully and she can resume her life. I have migraines and it is hard to say the least. I think your dog will be a changed animal, if not already, after the eye was removed. I know from trying to save my cat’s leg and failing, that he was so much happier after it was gone. He was a different cat because not only was the pain gone but he no longer had to endure the treatment and the strangers, in his kitty mind, handling him so often. He also adapted almost immediately.
Heather Langston says
With you in positive spirit! Hang in there, because things will turn around and life will stop kicking you in the back of the head.
And, yeah! You wrote 800 words when you probably didn’t feel like it- that is dedication.
Maria (BearMountainBooks) says
Sending you positive thoughts and prayers.
Visiting a yarn store and touching things is like hugging a cloud fortress.
Big hugs and well wishes from over the pond. I hope that they find a resolution for kid1. As I have family who suffer from migraines, I know that this is not an issue to be taken lightly. Sending prayers, such as they are.
Also to say that I have now read 95% of things you have written ( including the blogs). It is my humble opinion that you two could write the blurb on the back of a cornflake box, and I would still love it, while LMFAO! Thank you for doing what you do.
Be kind to yourselves. You have been through several stressful months in a row and it takes its toll, at least you were able to write even if you were not happy with it.
Also – yarn! Even if you just pet it, it’s comforting to have around. I like Martina Behm’s patterns, not hard to follow when my brain has vacated the premises ?
Hugs and a back rub Ilona.
2 out of 3 is at least a step in the right direction. Having gone through all of the testing for my severe chronic migraines it is a long drawn out journey that is difficult for all involved. It will be difficult but you will need to make time to care for yourselves. I saw specialists in so many fields of medicine all to come down to “We know it’s neurological but we don’t know enough about the brain to say what it is. All we can do is treat the symptoms and monitor changes that may give us a direction to follow.” That was in 2003. I was later glad I went through all of the testing for peace of mind. Even though they couldn’t prevent them at least I knew I wasn’t dying and didn’t have a disease that would make things worse. I was able to concentrate on getting the right treatment plan that gave me the best quality of life. It can be difficult living with pain and being bed ridden from time to time but it is doable. I do everything I can to minimize the effects. It is my not so new normal. The study and treatments of migraines have come a long way. I’m very confident the doctors will find what works for your daughter. My recommendation is to be aggressive with her doctors to keep pushing for all of the tests in a timely manner. There is no need to drag things out. The unknown is the scariest part. I’ll be praying for her and your family.
Wendy S says
You wrote 800 words. Even if those words aren’t exciting, you still wrote! Congratulations! And if you need to just knit and rest for awhile, go for it. The story will still be there. Wishing all of you better days ahead.
My daughter suffered from migraines. Tried everything, including piercing a pressure point in her ear (which oddly enough, actually reduced symptoms ). MrI showed an enlarged vein in her neck. A thoracic surgeon ligated the carotid vein-no more migraines. Surgeon doesn’t understand why it worked, but it did. Thought has been the vein was putting pressure on a nerve.
Bill G says
Ugh. Blessed be.
I’m sorry you’re going through this rough patch. Nothing is worse than when your babies ( 4 legged or 2) are sick. I hope things straighten out quickly for your family.
I have cervical vertebral degeneration and upper thoracic vertebral degeneration which, when out of alignment, causes the most excruciating headaches. Basically, the pinched nerves causes tonic-clonic muscular spasms from my shoulder blades to my forehead and around the front of my throat and jaws. So bad that if I could get a knife to the punched nerve in question, I would sever it. Pain killers don’t touch it. Nothing but chiropractic realignment can stop the pain. I am petite, 5’0″. And the main things that set it off include lifting stuff to chest height or higher, or reading with papers on a flat surface so that I have my neck bent forward, or holding something in front of me while having neck bent. Having my work notebook computer on the table in front of me also stresses my neck. T-Tapp Primary Back Stretch helps loosen the muscles- a lot. Ergonomics to reduce neck bendature reduces incidents, too. And I’m working on strengthening my latts and mid-back core to counteract my traps when lifting.
The nerves also cause my hands to go numb and cramp up too. I hope for Kid’s sake, that her situation is easier than mine, but sounds like it may be similar. A good chiropractor can quickly realign vertebral column and provide astounding relief.
As a veterinarian, I have treated really bad ulcerated eyes, and really, the ones that ended up not healing and needed enucleation, turned out just as happy and healthy as those that eventually recovered. Quality of life is most important – period.
Enjoy the yarn, and let the alpha waves build the story.
I am continually amazed by the number of people who have migraines or chronic headaches. Cudos to all for continuing to actually function and be productive with that kind of pain. I wish all of you well and hope each of you can distress in whatever way works best for you.
Sending positive energy for the biopsy, all will be ok with it. I’m not sure how old your dog is, but you’ll be amazed how quickly he adjusts to one eye. He’ll be very happy to be painfree (I had a one-eyed cat due to a foxtail).
I don’t know all of the treatments that have been tried with kid1’s migraines. I’ve had migraines since age 13 (now in my 50’s). I was started on a new RX that’s out called Aimovig (as my migraines had gotten up to 3-5 a week even while taking my meds) . It actually blocks some type of protein (can’t remember specifics). It’s a shot you give yourself once a month. I still have my zomig to be able to take in case I do get a migraine, but this stuff is wonderful! I’m down to 2, maybe 3 migraines in a month. Which is wonderful to me!
I am 68 and I got them at 40…I haven’t done well on preventive drugs…
Certainly you know you need to eliminate physical issues..I even tried Botox…it’s a big no from me. On that….
Make sure brain is ok…..
Cat scan and so on…
See a neurologist ,a good one, EEG
I am pretty sure mine are now from arthritis and neck tension….to much time on a horse..and after 2 knee replacements and a shoulder replacement I am not quitting now….at least until I have to.
Very best wishes to your child….it’s the pits….
I am open to anything you both wat to write ,I liked the suggestions above but want to know what happened to Gerard and Helen and the missing Inn…..
Love you guys
Lynne Binkley says
Praying for peace and comfort for you and your family, especially Kid 1 ! Hope she’s feeling better soon! Please take care of yourselves! We all look forward to many more years of great stories to come! Just wanted you to know I finally read Sweep of the Blade. I reread the Edge series and went right into Innkeeper. What a wonderful book/story! So many possibilities to come ……….. finding out what happened to Dina’s parents ……… finding out what happened to Michael ……… finding out about Klaus!! I’m constantly amazed by your talent! Thanks for sharing all these years!
Eye issues are never easy with dogs. Feel that pain. And then the vet bill, ouch.
Natural News.com. The 7-25-19 newsletter has a migraine story from the Journal of Neuroscience, university of Texas, Dallas in it. There are also other sources listed that you might find more information in. Thought I’d share.
I have a pirate dog too! He does great. I got him a blue Mohawk and none of the other dogs make fun of him!
There has been a lot of research lately about a PTSD like condition surrounding Medical trauma (MTS). It affects families of special needs children, among other situations. It is absolutely horrible when your child is suffering and you can’t fix it. If yarn helps the stress, buy yarn.
Sending hugs and best wishes to everyone there. You sure your new place isn’t built over an ancient burial ground right? You and Gordon haven’t annoyed any of the local covens have you? I have some friends who are paranormal investigators but they’re in North Carolina. Let me know if you need the house cleansed.
I am so sorry about the migraines. They suck, & it’s even worse when it’s your child in pain. We’ve had some of that this year with our child as well (multiple ER visits, doctors, & a sleep study). Really hope yours finds relief soon.
Yarn does seem to help. My guilty pleasure is to order from The Quarter Stitch in New Orleans. Wonderful shop to visit & they are wonderful about talking to you about what you like or need & shipping it to Texas. (I’m about an hour north of Georgetown). They carry a lot of specialty yarns. ? Just looking at pics of their website & choices is both soothing & exciting for me.
Hope all gets better soon!
I’m so sorry for all you are going through and hope you have an answer for your daughter’s ailments soon.
Hi Ilona, You might miss this comment among all other comments. Have you tried playing – onmyoji – A Chinese game based on Japanese folklore. Loved it and helped me a lot during my depression.
Whoo, your family really needs a break! Consider taking a weekend and spending the day in Spa Castle or King Spa in Dallas. They are Korean Spa and incredible experiences. Various pools, – segregated and mixed- all types of special rooms for therapy – a real gold room, salt room, cold room, etc.. All types of special spa services…the Korean special with gold infused oil and exfoliation is awesome. Areas for eating etc. Come with socks for your feet, a bathing suit and be prepared for a great experience. You might even be able to work some of the experiences into your books. It is unique and wonderful. Read about them on line and see the pictures and their services. Then go and RELAX as a family!
Lynn Thompson says
Thank you, Ilona andrews, for the update. I agree life as been stressing recently. I had to call 911 3 times thing week. My illegally minded neighbors are not going quietly in the night. I think worse call was last sunday about the naked, yes naked, man running down middle of road chasing someone screaming and yelling because someone stole his crack pipe. My dog was going ballistic and rolling thunder. I kept expecting him to Capel over 8 foot fence.. 911 did not find either guy which was very troubling. But the breaking and entering they caught that guy as house was being fumigated for insect infestation. You know how highly flammable flea foggers are. And disorienting.
Anyway, I appreciate post update on kid1. I rolled over laughing at the text messaging conversations while I waited on deputy to come speak to me about yesterday evening call. Turned out it was a lady who had broken down without a cell phone and was trying to walk home. They had found her car off the road and were searching for her miles from here. She was in need of medical assistance from walking in heat without water. We are rural rural and she was city person so scared. Deputies transported her home and had her vehicle transported to her mechanic. They came by to pet Titan for alerting me. My big lethal pup thinks alpha protect and serve males are the best. They think he is sweet. Sigh.
But thanks for posts. Makes our life better be it chaos central or dismally boring.
Well, can anyone really get too much yarn? 🙂
Fingers crossed for good news on all fronts, and all the best to pirate dog!
I send you muy best wishes for your family. Get better soon.
Glad resolution is on the way on the personal front. You work is appreciated! I just finished Maud’s book and turned to my husband: “I can’t believe it’s done. I want more!” I read it as you published it on the site so should not have been surprised that the story wrapped up when it did. Anyway, all your editing work paid off. Thank you.
Too bad about the eye, but I bet your pirate dog is glad he’s not getting 7 different medications anymore! Hope the nerve block works!
Oooooo, the intimidating blank sheet of paper/computer screen! Hmmm, when I have been struck down w mediocracy at work, I guess my go-to is a good work-out at the gym, followed by some bad food that i just earned the calories for, and a good night’s sleep, hopefully a sleep-in if I worked it right. Then a good cup of coffee the next morning and raring to go kick a–!
Here’s hoping you kick some blank-sheet-of-paper butt!
Nicole Kroner says
Have you tried chiropractic for kid 1? It might really help.. All the best for you. Looking forward to reading new stuff from you.
Nicole from Germany
(I am a therapist for chiropractic 😉
Ilona Ciller says
You could try things like ginkgo biloba teas to increase blood flow to the brain; head massage (gentle with fingertips), gentle head and neck stretch exercises – turning the head up/down/and side to side. Depending on what the cause of the headache and how old your child is you could also try, tumeric power in milk (as an anti-inflammatory), or small about of coffee (I know that must sound strange but sometime that works for headaches). Just suggestions though as I am not a medical doctor. Best of luck.
This. By and large I don’t want much to do with alternative medicine (a lot of is hogwash) but chiropractic medicine just makes sense. Bones out of alignment causes muscle inflammation which causes pain which radiates to other areas of the body. Putting the bone(s) back where they belong can fix this.
There are botox injections for migraines which should be covered by insurance. There is an ear piercing pressure point some people swear by. I had migraines really bad in my teen years. They went away when I got glasses. Maybe her prescription changed? I still have bad tension headaches, massaging the nape of my neck works wonders while I am waiting on meds to kick in.
I know someone who did this. It did work — better than anything else she had tried — for about 3 months.
If your daughter has migraines (basically vascular headaches) there is a new class of medications out. The one I’m taking is called Amovig. Not sure if this type has been approved for under 18 but thought I’d share the information. Good luck!
May the Almighty bless you and yours..may you have ease in all.♥??♥
Oh man friends, take a break from the book for a bit and go on a vacation. Even if it is day at the park vacation. Much chill is needed.
Our dog lost both eyes. Your furbaby will do fine with one.
Sounds like it’s time for a break! Go do something fun.
I hope everything will get better soon ? sending hugs your way hahaha ?❤️
I am sorry for all the bad things happening. We have been ass deep in alligators at my house too. I hope everything resolves well.
Debi Majo says
Slow deep breaths. When the Bible talks about trouble, it says “it came to pass…” it never says it came to stay.
Our dog lost both eyes. Your furbaby will do fine with one.
Sounds like it’s time for a break! Go do something fun.
Hope things start picking up for you soon. It’s terrible when everything is wrong all the time. My partner is sick three weeks out of four at the moment. He’s had the flu, a bad cold, this weird inflammation in his jaw that made eating really painful – twice, a boil on his foot which made walking impossible, and just at the moment getting over bronchitis. All in the last 6 months.
Hope your daughter improves. I’m a remedial massage therapist. If her migraines is mostly caused by neck tension, then it’s stress and dehydration that are contributing to the issue. Stress depletes the body of minerals like magnesium, which then causes the muscles to dehydrate and tighten up, which will restrict blood flow to the brain.
This study may interest you, it might be less invasive than nerve blockers
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11251702 – IV magnesium for migraine relief.
So sorry to hear. Sending love and support to you and the family. May inspiration strike tomorrow. If not, happy knitting.
Candy Daniels says
800 words is more than no words. 😉 Gotta start somewhere! Even if they all get tossed it’s a start! 😀
Yes please. All the Innkeeper you feel up to giving us. I would LOVE more Gerard and Helen. Hope all goes well with kid’s headache.
So sorry about the bad things, I hope the biopsy is benign and they figure out the root cause of your daughter’s headaches. Hope your pup adjusts well and gets better too
Buying pretty yarn is always a good response to stress!
Your creative products are always wonderful and always, always worth the wait. Take the time you need to address your current challenges. We, the BDH, will be here when you are ready.
Sylvia Davis says
Migraines are horrible!
If you’re still looking for ideas on how to resolve Kid 1 issue, consider reading “Fighting The Migraine Epidemic: Complete Guide: How to Treat & Prevent Migraines Without Medicines” by Angela Stanton PhD.
Amazon rates this book at 4.7 stars with 85 reviews. Dr. Stanton’s approach really is life changing. Best wishes to you and your family.