This morning’s news item from BBC: York student uses AI chatbot to get parking fine revoked.
Final Option
Written in the last 45 minutes for your enjoyment
Nothing depressed Tamara more than looking at her bank account.
It wasn’t that she bought extravagant things. There were no splurges on the latest designer handbags with integrated wallets and inventory tracker or the trendy, spider-web thin body contour jewelry, 3d printed with the patented liquid gold alloy. No, all of her purchases were reasonably cheap. $59.08 at Bed, Bath, and Bodyworks. They had a buy 3, get 3 free sale on fragrance mist, and it was too good to pass up. $6 at Starbucks two days ago. In her defense, it had been a very hard Monday, and a Frappuccino made it bearable. $21 on cat litter. Not an optional purchase…
Tamara sighed. She was 27 years old. Her high school dreams of making crazy money and laughing all the way to the bank while driving a white convertible with her hair blowing in the wind had met the cold, hard wall of reality and splattered against it long ago. Now she just wanted to make her ends meet. She loved her job. It just… didn’t pay much and a better paying job hadn’t materialized. She’d been looking.
Her checking account was down to $276. Nine days till payday and the electric bill was still due. There was no way. Even if she ate only ramen and sadness till the end of the month, there was no way.
She wouldn’t borrow money from her parents again. They would give it to her, no questions asked, and they wouldn’t even expect repayment, but the guilt would be too much. It was enough that they footed the bill for her medical insurance and allowed her to use the family AI.
Speaking of AI…
“Chadwick, how is it going with that parking fine?”
Chadwick’s cultured voice issued from the wall speakers, “I’ve failed to succeed.”
“What? Why? It worked the first two times.”
“The AMPA AI must’ve received a major upgrade.”
The Austin Municipal Parking Authority was a menace to society. Its drones were 3rd generation junk, and they routinely misread the parking permit stickers.
“But I have the permit. I have the right to park in that lot.”
“I’ve pointed that out. The AMPA insists that it’s entitled to $50”
Tamara rubbed her temples. “What have you tried?”
A mural on her wall blinked, turning into a screen. A list appeared.
“In the 22 hours 43 minutes and 12 seconds since receiving the assignment, I have submitted 1,734 appeals and received 1,734 denials. Topics covered: existence of the permit, placement of the permit, visibility of the permit, AMPA’s equipment failure, AMPA’s responsibility to maintain equipment standards, limits of a citizen’s personal responsibility to compensate for AMPA’s failure, citizen’s tax burden…”
“The cliffs notes, please.”
“In summary, the AMPA maintains that since you are aware its drones have difficulty scanning your permit due to the sun glare, it is your responsibility to park in a way that reduces that glare.”
“How? There is no shade in that lot. It’s a parking lot! I’m required to park in that parking lot.”
“It will not budge.”
Tamara shut her eyes.
“There is one last option you can try,” Chadwick advised.
“No. I don’t want to. I don’t want to, I don’t want to, I don’t want to… Anything but that.”
The AI waited, quiet.
$50.
Tamara sighed. “Fine. Do it.”
A quiet beep echoed through her apartment.
“You have reached the Austin Municipal Parking Authority,” a female voice announced. “Please listen carefully to our menu because our options have changed. To apply for a permit, press or say 1. To…”
Tamara steeled herself and took a deep breath. “REPRESENTATIVE!”
???? Oh my, that was so good! Thanks for taking 45 minutes to give us the laughs!
Dear fellow bdh members, chirp is having a one day sale on White Hot by Ilona Andrews today. Just an fyi – I already own it in print, e-book and audible. Search for Chirp.
Thanks Kate! ????
Loved it! Thank you so much for the laugh!
Hahahaa, REPRESENTATIVE! This is me whenever I have to speak to an automated voice- it just enrages me for some reason.
Oh my gosh! Laughing at this, but seriously want to cry every time I shout REPRESENTATIVE in the phone to try and reach a live, breathing person.
Similar experience now with some of the online or app “chat” features. They just seem to take you in circles.
Thank you for the Friday laugh!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
If only that worked!!!
Amen
The all caps for representative is so very accurate. That and yelling “ZERO” since that is sometimes the option for a live person.
Roflmao! So on point! Thanks and have a great weekend!
Back in the 20th century when my phone service was out, I used the pay phone outside the 7-11 to call The Phone Company. I spoke to a live person and arranged for a service visit.
A few years later when the phone went out again, I used my husband’s cell phone to call from the comfort of my home. That time I got the automated system. After going through a series of questions, the computer asked for a number to call me at. I lost my cool and said the F bomb. It said “I understand you wish to speak with a representative”, then forwarded me to a person. 😉
I had trouble getting an automated call to understand me and finally resorted to using the NATO phonetic alphabet whereupon it got every single bit correct except for one letter! How?!
Had a $10.59 charge that I didn’t recognize. Spent 3 hours on the phone, most of it on hold listening to that freaking Bach concerto that I used to love. They couldn’t FIND THE CHARGE and kept transfering me. So I called my bank and whined at them about it and how I’d just paid bills and bought some stuff from Amazon and I didn’t want to cancel my card if I didn’t have to. Turns out my husband charged something on the house account instead of on his account. Bank was more understanding than me.
I don’t blame you in the slightest. LOL
I was once getting really frustrated with an automated system so just shouted ‘human!’ At it
Surprisingly I actually got transferred to a representative
Thanks for the cute story:) I will say that I myself actually prefer the ‘representative’ option. It is trying to get past all the automated messages et. al to actually speak with said representative that is the problem. Once a real live person (or one heck of a great AI facsimile of a real live person) is connected with the issue usually gets resolved, in a satisfactory manner even. This of course supposing you haven’t expired while waiting to connect to said live person…..
???? Thank you! Needed that. That’s exactly my reaction.
The God of Small Smiles approves. ????
I LOL’d!!
I’m from the UK and read the story this morning while checking out my daily dose of news. It was brilliant! Having had to call the complaints department of a company this week for the numerous time in the last 3 months I feel Tamara’s pain and really wish I had an AI to speak to them for me maybe it would help solve the problem of going round in circles again ????????
I had something similar with my internet yesterday. I only had to appeal twice last evening and once today.
CenturyLink finally admitted it was their mistake, and I get to save a moderate amount of money because of that. The appointment to deal with the corrected order is about a month from now; but I don’t have to pay the usual fees because it was their screw-up. I can live with this.
I just went around in circles with Amazon and their automated and chat app to fix a verification problem.
One week later: purchase canceled and charged anyway.
Bank: We can’t fix that because Amazon has a hold on it.
I whine I have still been charged for the item according to your transcript of my account.
Response: They can take up to 30 days to fix the problem. You will have to contact them.
Sigh. Limbo has arrived. Maybe you can get your money back in time or until you give up and call it a gift to “make the company grow”
I have decided to be mellow and not raise the anxiety mule.
oops. hit the send button before I finished.
So the upshot of this was thank you for the snippet.
I loved it and I loved all the comments and now know … it isn’t just me.
haha
I, too, really don’t want to make the phone call, but to save $50 you bet I will. whining the whole time.
100 % accurate lol. Thanks for the chuckle after an awful day, with tomorrow looming on the horizon with the likelihood of being more awful.
I feel the pain! Four months after selling my home Waste Management called me with threats to send me to collections for the unpaid bills. I explained that I had contacted them at the time of sale and had them prorate my bill to coincide with my closing date and paid it. For MONTHS they hounded me to pay a bill for a property I didn’t own and hadn’t owned for months. It was maddening!
Anything but a human being. Noooo
LOL!!! Sadly, your crystal ball is probably working just fine.
this is great. thank you. I’m the one who normally calls first and when given the option to talk to an airline bot keeps saying “Human” until I get a real life person who understands what I’m saying!
ROTFLOL!
I feel this so much. I have three phone calls I’ve been procrastinating. I hate the phone.
I have been known to choose dentists to vets based on who had the option to make appointments online.
My nightmare, haha. Thanks for sharing!
ROFLMAO I LOVE IT!!!!! I can actually see the City of Austin doing that. Have a fabulous weekend!!
This is a very long story. Or haven’t you tried to speak to a representative recently?
Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!
I have a literal list of phone calls I need to make that I have been procrastinating.
Excellent! as always!
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Love this! But is it wrong that I have on occasion paid (reasonably) small but erroneous bills rather than deal with someone on the phone? ????
Thank you so much for this!!!
Great ending! I called my internet company during lunch with my coworkers who were in stitches laughing as I was trying to get someone on the phone. I gave up on the word, representative or agent and just started asking for a human being. I’m told I was responsible for several soda snorts up the nose.
This made me giggle. Would read more in this world. Thanks for the share!
Ha!!! Amazing, I love it!!
Thank you for spending 45 minutes to make us laugh (and commiserate) on a Saturday morning. Another reason to be a BDH-er!
Hey girlfriend! Pleased to see you representing the sisterhood.
Lol- love it! Perfectly presents the depths we’d all go to to avoid talking to the parking authorities… Thank you for the lovely story and the article that inspired it. Now kick your feet up and enjoy some good old fashioned family time;)
I love it. ???? Thank you.
Had to read the comments to understand this one! As far as I am aware, in the U.K. the word representative is not used with this meaning … we have advisors!
I do love these snippets so thank you.
I love it! Thank you!
Second-hand frustration just reading this! Soooo relatable.
LOL!!! Spent almost 2 hours with the IVRU for Social Security yesterday. I can empathize!!!
Yep. I bet we can ALL identify! And what a waste…
Thanks for the Daily Grin and Giggle.
Faith
???? Thats what I do! REPRESENTATIVE!…and keep repeating. Ugh! Made me laugh!
Oops! ???? I need a t!
Fixed ????
I needed this. I just spent of an hour with three different online chat agents who probably badly need their jobs and don’t need me making life hard for them – and I know how hard it is to try to understand a problem when the language you’re stuck using isn’t the one you grew up speaking, so I appreciate what they were going through – but the file was supposed to download and work. Why can’t someone just tell me why the file won’t download and work? WHY!?
And why did it finally work when I used the option to convert the file version that ISN’T in the compatible format? I mean, it works, so yay, but I feel deeply betrayed.