ILONA ANDREWS

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Getting Distracted

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Happy anniversary!

Curran:  Hey, how is the shopping going?

Kate:  I found really good tomatoes.

Curran:   Oh good.  Out of curiosity, what kind of monster looks like a rabid wolf that stands on hind legs?  About eight feet tall, with big scaly bat wings?

Kate:   Bear claws?  Red eyes?  Glows blue?

Curran: Yes, that’s the one.

Kate: It’s a kludde out of Belgium. Cape Fear River has been making stagnant pools all over the place after the last storm. It probably spawned in one of those. Why?

Curran:  No reason.

Kate: Curran, is there a kludde in our yard?

Curran: Seems that way.  So what else did you get besides tomatoes?

Kate:  Where is our son?

Curran: Talking to the kludde.

Kate: What is it saying?

Curran: Something about ripping out Conlan’s heart and eating it.

Kate: Okay, and what is Conlan saying?

Curran: He is asking it why that specific threat.  Ripping the heart out requires breaking the ribs and according to our son, it’s “laborious” while ripping out the throat is faster, easier, and more efficient.  He seems genuinely curious, and the kludde is stumped.

Kate: Why me?

Curran: I’m watching them from the wall. I can jump down there in half a second.

Kate: If you do, don’t rip its head off…

Curran: Too late.  Conlan just did.

Kate: Okay, it’s going to split into seven copies of itself.  Look for the one that’s slightly brighter than the other.

Curran:   By brighter you mean?

Kate:   More saturated.

Curran: …

Kate:  What’s going on? 

Curran:  He made blood claws, ripped out all of their throats, and now he is lecturing the corpses.

Kate: I think we should limit his visits to his grandfather.  His tendency to orate is clearly rubbing off on Conlan, and it’s too dangerous. Something could attack him, and he wouldn’t notice it until it’s too late.

Curran: He is nicely distracted by the sound of his own voice.

Kate: Are you going to jump down and show him the error of his ways?

Curran: Yep.

Kate: Have fun.  Take pics if you can.

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Comments

  3. ❤️❤️❤️

    Peachy ????

    This felt like an IV nourishing fans’ life force with “the good stuff” (Kate & Curran).????

    (P.S. I also really love the sibling love between Julie and Conlan in Blood Heir. ❤️ I am immensely looking forward to the next installment.)

  5. “I think we should limit his visits to his grandfather. His tendency to orate is clearly rubbing off on Conlan, and it’s too dangerous.”

    Lol! Of all the bad influences Roland could have on a child the tenancy to orate is number one.

  6. BWAHAHA, thanks for the hilarious snippet! Also, you’ve reminded me that I need to add tomatoes to my grocery list 🙂

  7. … … …
    I was going to say “poor Kate” but… Bwahahah! ???? Thaaaank you! ????

  8. LOLOLOL!!!
    Oh lord, that was hilarious ????
    I could picture the looks on each of their faces as they talked
    Hahahaa

  13. This is so perfect. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this. My husband just went into surgery and it is a perfect distraction.

  15. I have had a today a week and it’s only Monday. This is just what I needed thank you!

  17. Oh my. Love Conlan Lecturing the corpses. Made me spit my water. I should know better than to drink while reading snippets

  18. Yay, glorious warm and fuzzies. And I’m sure just “getting nice tomatoes” has a backstory, knowing how things tend to go with Kate.

  22. This makes me wonder how worried they would be if their next child turns out to be well behaved and mild mannered.

  29. It’s amazing how Kate and Curran can brighten your day with a simple conversation about tomatoes ????

  34. I LOVE IT!!! The texts, Conlan, Kate’s comments about him Sorenson too much time with his Grandfather… its just perfect!

    Happy Anniversary HA!!!

  39. This made me laugh out loud! ????

    I just love, love these two and their banter.

    You rock ! Thank you for this, as well as for the last 15 years of lolz. 😉

  40. ???? this was wonderful! Thank you for gifting us with a glimpse of the Lennarts. Conlan lecturing the corpses was funny, but Curran about to pounce and Kate requesting pictures is hilarious!

    Also it’s nice to know for sure, to which Wilmington they moved. Thanks for clearing up that detail!

  42. Decapitation

    Magical manipulation of lifeblood into a deadly weapon

    Multi-opponent destruction via violent exsanguination

    Monologuing

    …yep, gotta nip that last one in the bud.

  43. Bwhahaha. Stop yapping, get on with killing?
    Although Kate should note she had that tendency before she met Roland. Maybe it’s genetic,

  45. Thank you for this! What a treat!!

    I introduced my 72 yr old mom to your books and I can’t wait to get her started on KD!

    In the meantime I have her reading Innkeeper. I gave her my old kindle LOADED with your books. Somehow she finished book one and went looking for the second book -in the kindle store. There is erotica by the same title. I got a notification that a charge was made for Clean Sweep. Then I saw the rest of the title (dirty desires 2) ????. I’m still laughing. She got through chapter one and was very, very confused.

    • Lol- this has made me crack- did she keep reading through the confusion or stop there?
      Would be funny if she started critiquing the scenes with “in my day…”

  46. HEAs for Kate and Curran are unique. Some like peace and quiet. And then there is the peace and quiet after ripping out the throats of other beings.

    I prefer number two.

    Excellent.

  48. Thanks for the chuckle. I love that when I read your words, I can not only visualize but I feel like I’m there.

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