The plan was to work today, but I don’t think I’m going to. I woke up at a little after 4:00 am shaking and terrified out of my mind. I must’ve had a nightmare or some weird anxiety attack, so I just lay there staring at the dark ceiling and shaking for a bit.
Normally, I remember my dreams. I remember nothing this time. Clearly whatever I dreamed up was pretty horrible. The best cure for times like this is distraction, so I opened my Kindle and read the first sample I had downloaded. It was something about an assassin trying to kill some drug lord. I got as far as the guy’s head exploding into bloody mist and then I fell asleep.
I must find murder for hire soothing. 🙂
A few years ago I went through some rough time related to writing. I had trouble managing publisher expectations, reader expectations, and my own. I decided to try therapy. I walked into the office, sat down, described my problems, and the therapist nodded and asked, “What do you do for fun?” to which I answered, “I work.”
I was in therapy for over a year. Relearning how to have fun.
One of the fun things I learned was to never ignore the warning signs of overwork. For me most of them come when I am relaxing. As long as I am actively focusing on something, I have zero problems. It’s when I’m in a movie theater, or reading a book on the couch, or sleeping that my subconscious freaks out.
Yesterday was a fun day. I finally finished playing Subnautica, the computer game into I had sunk an ungodly amount of hours, and then Gordon and I went on a date. I wore a dress and put on make up. He wore clothes that were not shorts or sweatpants. It was awesome.
Clearly, I am in need of even more relaxing, because my brain’s reaction to the nice fun day was to dump all of the stress it’s been storing into my dreams. So no work today. I’m going to putter around, knit, drink tea, and in general do zip. Maybe read a bit more of that assassin book.
If I’m being objective, I can see why I’m stressed. We’ve ran into an issue with passports and we are expected in Paris at RARE in April. And we’ve been pushing pretty hard on Sapphire Flames. It’s 80% or more done. I should have the cover for you in the near future. Spoiler: the guy is not naked this time. It’s so easy to just sink into work and forget to recharge.
So this is your reminder: don’t forget to take a mental health day for yourself.
Enjoy your leisure day! You’ve certainly earned it!
Mary Beth says
I just received the welcome news that I do not, in fact, have leukemia…I’m just a fat and tired 52 year old.
I have never been so happy to be fat in my life. My mental health day includes a Masterclass lesson with Neil Gaiman, a glass of wine, and dark chocolate.
Yay no leukemia!
Pat Crouch says
No leukemia. Always good news. So glad that good news found it’s way to you.
Hooray to no leukemia! Also, I have been tempted to take one of those master classes… is it truly with Neil Gaiman? I almost did the Margaret Atwood….
Yay, no leukemia! Enjoy the day!
Cheryl M says
Ista in Sydney says
You, to no leukaemia. I hope at least you knew it was being considered. @ 30 years ago I was pretty sick but I got a shock after several test (one after the other as they came back OK) to be told it wasn’t leukaemia. Didn’t even know it was in the battery of tests.
Yay not leukaemia and I hope you get to feel better soon.
Thank you for the reminder. I was also supposed to work today. However, I woke up afraid from a nightmare. So working is getting taken off the table and a relaxing day today while I watch it snow outside.
Please take as many de-stressor days as you need. You have given your readers many many hours of relief from the real world. You deserve to relax!
Yes! Please take care of yourselves. Healthy authors = Happy authors
I remember several years ago I was running my own business but also doing some quite full-on unpaid admin work for a charity. It got to the stage that if I wasn’t doing one or the other I didn’t know what to do with my time. I had forgotten how to relax.
It’s very easy to forget how important downtime is. Enjoy your day off. Puttering is always a good way to spend a day x
You have been pushing yourself crazy hard ever since you recovered from that bacterial sinusitis. Enjoy your days off!
I love your work & am so glad to hear you are taking a day to relax. Please, please give yourself a break when you need it. (Take a week!) Build some down time into your schedule so you can continue to churn out books that delight & thrill your readers many years to come.
I find it very ironic that you posted this today as I am in the same boat. I hope your book is amazing and allows you the distraction you need to unwind. ?
This advice came just as I decided to take a break from my school work. I just finished an intense class on yesterday and start a new one on Tuesday. I planned to take today off but after looking over the Syllabus and workloads, I can already tell I will be up late reading and finishing assignements (4 in the first week, two essays and two power points) plus lots of reading… I started to read and just spent 4 hours on it already. But besides the notes I wrote I am not sure anything stuck today. So I gave up for today. I am going to open the book I started Friday and contemplate ordering in for dinner.
Enjoy your time off.
Thank you, it’s also a kind reminder for myself<3
Lisa Strangeman says
Good for you! I just discovered Barry Eisler on my Kindle Unlimited if you need more assassins to read.
I can’t. He gave this one interview years ago with another author and they had referenced something really off-putting in it. So to this day, when I hear Barry Eisler, that image pops into my head.
To people reading this: if you know what I am talking about, don’t post it in the comments. I don’t want to ruin Lisa’s reading experience. 🙂
To those of use who don’t know, have no interest in reading the book but are very curious about the off-putting thing…how do we get to know?
Cheryl M says
It’s my birthday, so I command leisure time for all!!! Have a great, relaxing day off. And, good fortune getting the passports straightened out.
Cheryl M says
Enjoy yourself. Take time – a bubble bath is another way to relax or if you like them I have been known to go to MassageEnvy or some such down your way for a 60 minute massage.
I usually am so relaxed afterwards I have been known to take a nap.
Massage! Your body will relax and flood the brain with the good stuff. Or just work out so that your brain is too tired to come up anything to wake you up. The goal is to make your brain shut up while you are resting. Just a thought.
There’s also another way to tire yourself out before sleep. Gordon would probably help. 😉
Hope you find the root cause soon!
I hope you feel better soon and that you enjoy your relaxing Sunday.
And totally off topic, but I’ve been wondering for some time about the text on the spine of my paper copy of Iron and Magic, so I decided to go ahead and ask you all if the text on the spine of your books is also printed in the other direction than the text on your other paper books? It’s not a real problem, but it does make me want to put this book upside down.
Answer: I am not working today. 🙂
Lol you go girl
I’m happy to hear that. And I meant to ask the other readers, sorry for bothering you on your day off.
Gai LaMarche says
It may just be a printing error, but I have noticed that books I have that were printed in Europe have the covers oriented upside down from ours. Makes it interesting to skim a row of books.
You just have to get used to tilting your head the other way! 🙂 So long as you don’t inter-shelve American with European publications, you won’t get too dizzy flipping your POV back and forth! 😉
Good to know. Thank you both for taking the time to answer my question.
Awww no Count eye-candy (pout)!!! What were you reading (exploding bad guy heads? sounds like my kinda book). Hope u r having a great time off….what so you do for fun? Work? Yeeeeeaaahhh have had that prob too, esp since its winter right now and I cant go hiking! Well, i could, but duuuude it’s like -10F out and I am just not up for that. Good thing I have plenty of books to read!!
Sara S says
I’m sorry you’ve been so stressed. Subnautica was an amazing game and the early release of subnautica: subzero is on steam for ~$20 if you like early release games. I hope you feel recharged soon!
Than YOU for persevering it is appreciated it doesn’t matter if it’s next month or next year we’ll survive?
Take care, couch surfing here with a sick kiddo.. I can’t seem to shake a cough either, myself . So we are eating ice cream and watching “ How it’s Made”….
Pat Crouch says
I’m glad you are taking care of yourself. I’ve been staying with my mother this past year helping her through one health crisis after another. We are losing her at a gradually increasing rate. I’ve begun to feel unreal. Kind of like The Velveteen Rabbit in reverse. I enjoy reading what’s happening with my friends who care deeply about many things. They are so alive with it all. You are another one. It helps to read what’s happening with your writing and your life. Rooting for you to succeed brings a bit of reality back for me. Thank you.
A long decline like this is very draining on care takers. I think eventually there is just so much hurt and worry that we go numb. I am so sorry you’re going through this.
I am sorry to hear about your Mom. She is lucky to have your help and kindness. Try to enjoy her while you have her! Also try to get some de-stress time for your self.
Lynn T. says
Hospice has good end of life counselors. Since they “specialize’ in death, they know what to say to the family/ caretakers and the loved one. I found it very helpful for me while i was dealing with Mother and her dementia when Dad was going thru chemo and his death. It really helps to talk to that third party person who actually has gone thru the ‘stages’ of human death.
Patricia Schlorke says
Pat, I understand what you’re going through. After you get through one crisis, and you think “whew” and relax, something else comes up. Unfortunately not all children will help their parents when the parent or parents decline in health. I do not regret helping my mom before she left this Earth. I give you lots of hugs and encouragement. Sometimes just reading or listening to someone else say “I’ve been there” can be a great relief to know you’re not alone. 🙂
I’ve done this multiple times now. It is a gift to be able to spend time with them. You need time to recharge yourself too. The suggestions above are good ones. You’re not alone, and if you start feeling that you are, it’s time to look around for some respite.
Kim K says
I have this issue with relaxing. My one time hobby is now how I make my living. Since I listen to books and watch movies while I work, I have apparently taught my body that relaxing is dangerous and not to be done. Sitting without working causes me severe anxiety. Vacations have become stressful. Now when I need to relax, I have to have other hobbies to do or spend days trying to unwind. I fully understand your problem!
Knitting or crochet really helps with this. Or coloring books. If you are doing something with your hands, the brain thinks, “Hey, we’re still working, but this is super easy work.”
Patricia Schlorke says
I agree with Ilona about knitting or crocheting. I also sew (clothes). I find when my mind is going a million miles a minute, cutting out patterns, sewing, and pressing gets my mind to calm down. Sometimes if it’s too much, I do a lot of cleaning.
I discovered diamond painting /diamond dotz a few years ago. It is like painting by numbers except you have a sticky picture with numbered squares, a pen, waxy stuff to help pick up said dots and a tray. Even with arm difficulties I can do a small amount. You need to concentrate a little bit but it is like colouring, very very satisfying end result. Kits cost anything from £1 to nearly £100. (English reader here).
I recently boughta light board which also helps.
Oh, Kim, I can relate to so much of this!
I’ve been joking that my hobbies have metastasized for a while now… but the line between work and hobby is so fluid I barely know what to do with it, and after the last couple of years, “fun” as a distinct thing almost requires a vacation – I haven’t lost that, luckily. My local peeps keep trying to get me to watch shows of various sorts, but even when I’m doing crafts I really don’t enjoy doing that by myself. (Having friends to snark with is such a huge part of the fun.)
…it’s turning out to have been a really good thing that I have this time off before the new job starts, but then, I’m spending a lot of it tying up loose ends at the old lab. (And getting new ink, and planning my move. And if the senior bio-robotics guy gets the funding, I’ll do a little squishy robotics for him before I move and do a whole different kind of bio-robotics…)
Claire M says
Good for you!! Self care days are so, so important!! Sometimes you just have to walk away from everything for a day and know it’s for the best.
For me, it’s usually curling up in bed, switching between rewatching favourite shows, reading and naps. Cause I’m chronically ill and burnout easy, so my fun is giving myself the permission to be sick for the day, and get better. 🙂
I wish you a relaxing and productive day. Productive in the amount of relaxation it produces that is. If the guy on the cover of Sapphire Flames is not naked is he at least clutching a stuffed unicorn covered in sparklies!? And why do I have tassels that have been bedazzled stuck in my head now? Probably because I just finished Shades of Wicked last night after listening to Diamond Fire again.
RJ Blain says
I’m really bad at time off. I sent a book to my editor yesterday. Have to resend it today. Did a stupid. But Thursday? I go overseas for the first time. I have to write a little every day or I have major anxiety, but I’m allowed no more than one hour a day working on something fun. Rest of time, we will explore castles in England. One day, we get to try our hand at flying birds of prey! (At a castle!)
Doing fun things is so important. I’m also bad at fun things. My awnser for what I do for fun would be work, too. (Oops.)
But Thursday, I fly awayyyyyy! To go have fun!
Enjoy your day. :3
Lynn Latimer says
You will adore England
Have so much fun! Are you going to Alnwick? Or Hever? Wherever you’re going, it will be great. Take your woolies and wellies?
If you’re touring UK castles, the best ones are in north Wales x
Meg Watts says
My husband and I have been talking about what it would take to get me a long-arm quilting machine. I justified the more expensive set up with…and I could make it into a third business. He said no to another business, flat out. After this post, I think I have to agree with him. Thanks.
When I was in therapy, looking for a thing to make me happy, the subject of yarn came up. I told my therapist that I really love all the pretty colors, but I don’t buy yarn anymore, because I have a big stash and I feel guilty that I haven’t worked through it yet. She looked at me and said, “Does shopping for yarn make you happy?” I said, “Yes.” She said, “Go buy yarn.”
The value of my knitting isn’t in the finished item, although it’s a lovely bonus. It’s in the happiness I feel shopping for yarn, picking a pattern, and knitting it up on the couch, while watching TV and weaving all of my soothing memories into it. 🙂
You can put a lot off stress into knitting!
I really love that way of thinking about yarn. Thank you. I’m going to use that. Bc I miss my yarn but I haven’t let me buy any in a long time bc of the not finishing thing.
BEADS! I do that with seed beads and Swarovski crystals. They’re soooo pretty. Nice warm cup of hot cocoa, tv on and beading. Ahhhhh….so nice.
One of my biggest sads from my last trip home is that my sister and I didn’t dye our own colorways, even though she had “blank” yarn and dye ready for it. (While we knitted together, we came up with a whole fantasy that involved us living in the same state, me spinning on a wheel*, and us dying lots of yarn together and selling most of it.)
…I’m not sure if I present this more as a messy hobby suggestion or a fun fantasy.
* I mostly do dropspindle because it’s portable, but I can actual sit still if we’re hanging out together. This isn’t actually exclusive to my sister, but darn, I have not gotten the right kind of social circle in Ohio… and sitting still has never been my forte.
Lynn L says
Whatever your belief system, a Sabbath is a good idea. Resting the body, mind, and spirit is important.
Yep, there’s a reason for that concept.
So glad you’re taking the day off, you work so hard. I’m also taking the day off. I baked a marzipan/bittersweet chocolates scone loaf (amazing recipe from Food 52. Not too sweet) and am going to read and needlepoint. I’ve got a rough 6 weeks coming up at work and am already anxious. Ir took me years to realize days off are good. Enjoy yours!!
Days off to recharge are so important. Walking / playing with my dog is enjoyable free time except when it is extremely cold or pouring rain – neither of us enjoys walking outside then (NYC – no yard).
R Coots says
Oh, not a fun way to wake up. Glad yoy were able to get back to sleep! And yay for relaxing! Will we get to see what you’re knitting?
My favourite way to relax is to set up two movies on DVD and video, so that I don’t have to get up as often, both remotes, a hot pizza, a cold drink, a bag of lollies next to me, a blanket and a cat purring on my lap and a dark room.
Did you do Subnautica on creative or survival mode? I have to admit survival mode was bl#$y hard!
Linda B says
The older I get and the more politically fraught matters become, the more mental health days I take. They are necessary and I take them with no compunction. More important, I need a sofa for my cat!!!!!
Cannabis oil. CBD specifically. I’ve had sleep problems most of my adult life and I’m suffer from stress that affects my gut– as do my sister’s. When I saw the relief my sister got fr9m CBD and THC oil, I decided to try it myself. Eureka! I sleep and don’t get stress attacks. Of course, I’m in Canada where it’s legal but I still went through the cannabis doctor. I very much recommend it if you can get it legally.
trailing wife says
Fractionated CBD oil does not contain THC, so should be legal in states where cannabis is not…
I’m really glad you’ve learned. This are important things. Also thank you for sharing. That’s a perspective I’m not sure I’ve seen before and I need to chew on it bc I might see some me in there.
So what’s the name of the book? Is it a Victor the Assassin book? Just curious… 🙂
(I’m on the look out for a good assassin book (or a Lee Child/Jack Reacher, Stephen Hunter/Point of Impact/Bob Lee Swagger type book) and I didn’t see any listed on the BDH sticky)
It’s the Assassin: King of Swords by Russell Blake. Someone recommended it, so I downloaded a sample. I don’t remember anything about what I read except for night, plane, head goes boom, so I can’t recommend or advise against it.
Russell Blake? Will have to check that out. Do you like military SF? Try out Michael Z Williams, and of course Ringo’s Troy Rising or Posleen series. But Ringo also tends to be kinda polarizing…..
So interesting. I also had very unsettling dreams. With a big project at work I’ve had about the equivalent of maybe 10 total days off in the last 2 weeks. Trying to find my way back to relaxation is difficult and I always seem to want to solve problems subliminally in my dreams.
Last night I dreamed I had an eye infection, but when I leaned over into the mirror I could see to the back of my retina where there was some sort of device implanted. Now I’m concerned that the Borg are coming for me???
Assimilate or else….
LOL, too funny!
OMG. That sounded so stupid. 10 days off in 2 MONTHS not weeks ???
When I was in grad school I started therapy and it changed my life in ways that I could never have imagined at the time. I had trouble with joy. I had no trouble expressing anger or sadness, but joy escaped me. I loved what your therapist said about yarn shopping, it’s so true we sometimes need to do “yarn shopping” even if we’re not knitting if that is what brings us joy. For me it was baking and gardening. In the beginning just buying baking stuff and plants was better than the baking and the planting, now the results are where I find my joy. Get stressed I bake or go dig a hole.
Heather Langston says
Mental health days are so very important. It isn’t easy sharing personal experience, so thank you for sharing with all of us.
Reading, mostly KD books, is a comfort activity for me. It’s a known world I can sink into when my mental health issues are getting the best of me.
Take plenty of time to care for yourself, because you deserve to be happy and healthy.
Lynn T. says
Thank you, Ilona Andrews for the post. Enjoy your off day.
Titan pup and I were doing our Sunday afternoon chores which are pick up everything he has toted out of house thru dog door and chewed in front yard and walk all the pasture fences. Yes we take detours to chase the deer, the bunny rabbits [one of my neighbors raised show bunnies but there were escapists who went feral etc] and run agility course with the bull. We are in house because he was convinced he was going to melt in the Rain. Nah, it is below freezing here and felt and looked like ice pellets. So I checked your blog on my way to checking dopplar radar. I had to laugh as I had a funny dream and woke up laughing this am. First time that has happened and I had 2 sets of eyes, one amber which is Titan and other green which is his kitten Jupiter, observing me. Unfortunately, unlike the bad dreams i have no clue what i dreamed about.
Don’t forget the local office of your federal representative if you continue to have passport problems. Sometimes they can goose the right person into action, or smooth troubled waters. Good luck with your planned trip.
Lisa Warden says
Lazy days are very important for life and relationship happiness. ? Enjoy. From a fan somewhat calmly awaiting the next Iron Covenant book. ?
Enforced mental health days up here in western Washington state. We had 7″ of snow on Friday night, it froze last night, and we are expecting snow every day for the next week. We have 15-18% grade hills all over the place up here (glacier-dug), and little to no snow-related infrastructure. I expect school to be closed all week. We went to the grocery store and there were ZERO egg cartons on the shelves. Not a single one.
But we have a gas fireplace and warm kitties. Bring it on.
My daughter was shocked at the zero level of snow-handling. The local authorities prefer that the area just shut down during the infrequent snow events, rather than pretreat roads, plow, etc. She says “now I know why I kept hearing ads for winter tires”. (She relocated from central Maryland to Tacoma WA.)
Kelly M says
OMG tell me you’ve seen this! So glad you two write such great female characters and don’t make these kinds of ridiculous goofs! ??
Thank you for that! There’s another thread under it where women describe themselves as male authors would, at least as good.
Colleen C. says
After my husband died I had the most horrible dreams ever. That has stopped but I still dream my stress. The last one I woke up crying, “I don’t want the plague anymore!” ? Enjoy your down time, you deserve it.
TV and knitting – this sounds good to me right now. Take your mental health day and enjoy. Unfortunately I’m having to take a break because I had rotator cuff surgery on February 1. I can’t even properly text and have to use the microphone and then with one hand try to edit. I can do nothing but read and drink tea. I can’t cook. I can’t even crochet or knit or needlepoint. But I am reading and reading and watching The Walking Dead.
“Night terrors”, which is supposedly an infant/pre-verbal toddler version of nightmares. Which woke me up screaming far past the toddler age. Still have them sometimes, they’re not bad dreams, just that shocking sense of real, real bad feeling. Mucho no bueno. Hope everyone gets better sleep tonight!!
Also, Date Night! Cheers to that! My parents were married 54 years, and date night was important to them – although it became date brunch mostly when they were in their 80s, due to not driving as much after dark.
It is a myth night terrors go away after baby/toddlerhood. I had well into my adult life and once able to research online, I learned sooo many people struggle with them…
I’ve been reading up on brain chemistry and creativity, and you are correct. It is crucial to recharge/rest/play/process. (Rosanne Bane is my favorite person this year. So much makes sense now. Find your mojo here: https://www.amazon.com/Around-Writers-Block-Science-Resistance-ebook/dp/B0085DP1LM/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_1?keywords=rosanne+bane&qid=1549840617&s=gateway&sr=8-1-fkmrnull )
Not an affiliate link! Just a brain geek thing.
I can definitely relate. Today has been a tough for me, so thank you for sharing this.
barbie doll says
As I am now old I have learned that laying on the couch is not a sin. It took me a long time to learn that sometimes I just had to stop and rest. I also know that after the grandkids are here for the day the next day is rest day. For me quiet music and a good book is what I need. I am glad that you can buy yarn and enjoy it. Take care and enjoy.
Bill G says
I had a pretty lazy Saturday, but that was largely due to power being out for the morning and part of the afternoon.
A good reminder to prioritize self-care. Take time to breathe, de-stress and be kind to yourself. Be creative, try something new and have fun!
Patricia Schlorke says
Hope your day was relaxing. I also have to remind myself to relax. If I don’t, I get insomnia, and my mind spins like it’s on a hamster wheel. Over time, I learned what will trigger the spin, and stop it before it gets too bad.
I enjoyed my day with getting up a little later, cleaned, cooked, and watched TV. 🙂
Thank you for sharing…it happens to me all the time it’s good to know that I’m not alone
Sharon Sherry says
Dear Ilona and Gordon
Nice to hear you are having some fun. Plan for more and look after yourselves!
Good luck with the passport situation.
Sarah N says
Or it could be the Muse is so highly trained that it unloads best in a book. I’ve found the same thing, if I go for a day without writing then I don’t sleep well, but the writing only needs to be ten minuets of fresh words or revision. Not an all day thing which is good when the all-day Kindergartener misses mommy.
Marilyn Ellis says
Look after yourselves and a big thank you for introducing me to a new author Jessie Mihalik
Days off are wonderful and therapy can be very helpful. I went to a therapist when my husband left me for another woman. This happened years ago and it really helped me deal with the shock and emotional trauma. Nowadays I feel very secure and good about myself and I know those therapy sessions are a part of what made that happen. He, on the other hand, is in the process of divorcing wife #4. I seriously believe HE could use some therapy.
May I ask what RARE is? Sorry if I’m being dense. I know it’s most likely something authorly, but if it’s something personal please ignore the question. It’s just that I tried looking it up and got various answers such as Reptile Adoption, Rehabilitation and Education. For some reason, lol, I can’t picture you going to Paris for that.
Romance Author & Reader Event. April 6th, Paris. Meet your favourite authors, aka Authorlords. Some tickets still available. ?
Karen the Griffmom says
I don’t know – French snakes would be quite chic with their mustaches, Breton shirts, and berets . . .
Ellen D. says
Gardening is my thing. In the winter when the garden is dormant. I pour over gardening magazines seeing whats new looking for inspiration. Grab a pencil and notebook and design new beds or redesign existing beds. Other times I’m curled up in my reading nook with a good book and some tunes playing. My back yard became a wildlife nursery this year. Bobcat and her kits put on a show for several weeks.
Same thing happens here. I am somewhat of a work-aholuc and I love my job (teaching kindergarten) and I volunteer a lot. As long as I’m moving I’m fine. We’ve had MULTIPLE snow and cold days in the last three weeks and I could feel myself slipping into depressive state. No joy, crazy dreams, no energy, midnight panic attacks. It’s like my body can’t process down time anymore. So I relax with comedy on Pandora and CSI marathons.
There has got to be some weird brain trip going on in there. At least you aren’t alone.
Mary B Cruickshank-Peed says
In truth, I’m going to a science fiction convention next weekend. I’m going to hang out with people I like and who like me, I’m going to have intelligent conversation. I’m going to eat interesting food and I’m going to not deal with the kids or health issues or any other issue which is causing stress. For 4 days.
Hope your day went well. A day off is always nice. I hate when I don’t sleep well. Good Luck with the passports.
Teh Gerg says
Hm. Mackerel tabby. Looks exactly like mine.
Mary Carnahan says
Well, my day was going fine until you said “the guy is not naked this time.” That was a real spoiler. sigh….
LOL!! Ok, I agree
Yvonne A says
Have a happy day off work
Late night panic attacks could be low blood sugar. You need a day off every week to be productive. Look after yourselves. We love you
Don’t know much about panic attacks, but I totally agree that you both need time off weekly. Burn out occurs for everyone who doesn’t have time for fun built into their schedules. And the BDH would have panic attacks world wide if you guys burn out!! Just sayin’
“Night Terrors” don’t involve dreams. They are just terror attacks while sleeping. Not nightmares. You probably got them from stress overload – like you thought.
O my goodness, they showed the fifty shades of maple Glen on the local news here in STL last night. With very clear shots of the basement room. Thank goodness it was the eleven pm news.
Margaret R says
I’m very good at distracting myself during the day, but like you my anxiety will peak during the night, right in the middle of a deep sleep and then “WHAM!”. Add hot flashes to that and for a while I dreaded going to bed. Work life balance, good nutrition and exercise are key, but a personal fan, and a good book by the bed to distract the mind are also essential. It does get better, but unfortunately menopause and anxiety seem to walk hand in hand (something my mother never told me)
Listening to your body and practicing self-care is important. Hope you had a relaxing day!
I’m so happy you took time to relax. I can see how you would need to learn to do that. You work all the time. Being self-employed can exacerbate a work schedule because you have no filter. You unintentionally hold a stick over yourself. The date sounds like it was successful. Good. Please keep all these newly learned lessons close. You will need them.
You come to Europe! Is there any possibility that you travel to Spain?
Diana Rashash says
Ilona, YOU and your writing are part of my mental health process! Not to put too much stress on you…as there are several authors that I enjoy reading and escaping with.
Steve Lucas says
Yaaaaay I love that you recognize overwork and are smart enough to relax and look after you. As big a fan of your work that I am I would rather wait months longer than have your guys health or family suffer. Your an inspiration ! 🙂
As always thank you work everything
Yep. Smart to use therapy. When my husband died suddenly I was a mess. Did grief counseling and did every “dumb thing becuz wanted to avoid taking 1 million different prescriptions. I did coloring books vision boards miles of journals essential, oils blahblahblah. And. It all worked. Slightly less hysterical. Take care. Peeps with high powered brains and souls need extra recovery time.
Sending positive vibes your way ~~~
It is all a mater of the realizism or fantasy o& the Head explosion…
I use the first Innkeeper books to fall asleep…I work my way through one two,three, then start over,it my favorite way to turn off my brain if stressed …
Sometimes I don’t get much further than…(Brutus was Dead) other times I get as far as (Give Me the Vampire Meat)
I think your hair looks great!
So weird! I had a bad dream the same night. I hope your day was relaxing and restorative! IMO, Sundays should always be “bumdays”
-so I told my son (17) about your night and he said I needed to ask you if you “Have found the blue tablets yet?”
A blue tablet. There is only one. You have to make the second one.
cheryl z says
I’ve been joyously retired for almost 3 years from high stress jobs. I was a 911 dispatcher for many years, then when my local dispatch center closed instead of transferring to the large regional center 90 minutes away I became an evidence technician (which is also highly stressful. TV shows don’t indicate how gross crime scenes are and how stinky they can be). I still occasionally suffer from stress dreams so I get it. To anyone on the list who is a dispatcher or has friends who are, I honor you. The job has become increasingly difficult with the elimination of local dispatch centers and the plethora of cell phone callers who don’t know their location, I don’t know how I did the job and certainly couldn’t do it today. I now love to knit, listen to opera and play with my poodles. Bad dreams can be soothed by wine and ice cream.
I too have this happen at times and spent 30 years in a high stress job as a clinical therapist. LOL. I found journaling (during the day) and coloring mandalas (right before sleep) work really well on letting my subconscious know it doesn’t have to solve all my issues at night. I’m so glad you are learning to let yourself relax it is an art form.