ILONA ANDREWS

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author

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OPERATION: NINJA FERRET THE DEAL

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It began, as all questionable Horde initiatives do, with Steve.

Minutes from the Official BDH Valentine’s Strategic Business Summit

Q1 Special Session: Romantic Advancement Initiative

Chair:
Mod R (reluctantly)

Instigator:
You’ll never guess who

Objective:
Secure formal Valentine’s Day declaration between Augustine Montgomery, illusion Prime, Head of House Montgomery and Diana Harrison, animal mage Prime, Head of House Harrison.

Method:
Deploy ferret-based reconnaissance unit (hereafter Ninja Ferrets) to infiltrate Montgomery International Investigations via vent system – precedent established. (See: historical ferret heist performance review, Hidden Legacy archives).

Upon successful breach, unit will deliver the Valentines Declaration directly to Prime Montgomery’s desk and maintain soulful visual observation (aka “puppy eyes”) until desired request compliance.

Supporting Documentation:
Valentine’s Declaration Request – Sponsored by the Book Devouring Horde (the undersigned)

  • Section I: Confirmation of mutual feelings (Panthercakes officialized)
  • Section II: Kissy Face
  • Section III: Sequel acknowledgment (non-hostile)

Objections raised:

“This is emotional manipulation.”
Counterargument (Steve): “It’s facilitation.”
Discussion note entered into the record:: “Augustine’s whatthefuckeries didn’t weird Diana out. They weirded her in.”
Consensus reached that the Horde’s role is not to interfere, but to optimize delivery.

“We really shouldn’t. Have you seen what they’re capable of? I don’t want my insides all yoinky sploinky around Houston.”
Counterargument (Steve): OUR FERRETS ARE ALL HARNESSED WITH SOMEWHERE TO GO!
General murmurs of Horde agreement. Concerns formally tabled.

Addendum
At 21:17 hours, a note was delivered to the Chair and read aloud:

We are both perfectly capable of sealing our own deal.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
D.H. & A.M.

Meeting adjourned. Ferrets stood down.

From Ilona: Sneaking store update in: mugs are open, deskmats are coming by request but they will be expensive, and VAT people still did not get back to me.

I’m going to have to insist on Monday. We are paying them for a reason. We need to be able to open international storefronts.

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Comments

  5. But!! SECTION III still needs confirmation!!!!

    Seriously though, thank you!!

    Officially: The Horde will p@t!ently w@!t for whatever House Andrews grants…
    Unofficially: gimmegimmegimme

    • Hord member response to Addendum: If we didnt wached/read it doesnt count. Yes we members of the hord voyers deal with it.
      Seriously thought I understand ig HA doesnt have intention of a sequel or even a plot for it in mind. That doesnt mean we can at least get some free blog closure material right (puppy eyes).
      Also it could be worse. This last story finaly introduce a classic “werewolf”/hermit like woodsmen romance fantasy male main character on the ilustruos person of the last but not least prime of our favorite animagus family. The hord are too focused/obsessed with this last book not closing the romance plot of pantercakes to have started asking coff demanding coff for a book… yet

  7. OMG! I squeeled/laughed at the Addendum so hard that my son came out to check on me🤪

    Thank you for the laugh. You love us – you really love us💕 (and we love you, too!)

    Happy Valentine’s Day!

    • Pah! My sons just roll their eyes at me and ask me if it’s a new book or the blog…

      But seriously, thank you so much, I finished BB and danced, sighed and secretly hope for more.

      More please (baby tigrionex eye)?

  10. OMG this was hysterical!

    Thank you House Andrews, thank you BDH siblings snd thank you sooo much Mod R for trying to coordinate the madness.

  12. Excellent. No ferret were harmed in the making of this post. They were disappointed that they were suited up and had nowhere to go.

    • I am now visualizing poor, little disappointed ferrets staring despondently into the middle distance.

      . . .

      There were reports across the city later of Random Acts of Valentines.

  15. “Augustine’s whatthefuckeries didn’t weird Diana out. They weirded her in.”

    hahahahahaha love this!

  16. Yey Steve. They both signed the note. We should start planning the wedding 😉

    Thanks Mod R for the laugh

    Happy long weekend from my part of the north.

      • it would be a great cross-over.
        you are invited to the wedding of an illusion mage and an animal mage, officiated by the black volhv

        • I’m trying to imagine what that would look like- ferrets for photographers/videoers? Various animal ring-bears? (Oops, ring-bearers?) Then I realized it would look like whatever the illusion prime wants it to look like, which would certainly save money.

          I think the return note from BOTH of them means our core mission is accomplished! What can’t the BDH do when allowed some ferret help?!

          Also, clearly such a wedding should b held at our favorite Inn! U know the food will b awesome! I wonder if the illusions would annoy the Inn?

          Thanks Mod. R!

  17. Thank you, ModR, for continuing the business related theme for the Beast Business posts! Your creative spirit is so very enjoyable! (And one can never have too many ferret shenanigans)
    Sending peace, health and safety to all!

  19. I am content to let Augustine and Diana seal the deal on House Andrews’ timeframe, despite Steve’s efforts. We are chalant! Happy Valentine’s to Mod R and the BDH!

  20. “I don’t want my insides all yoinky sploinky around Houston!” Mwahahaha!

    That would be great, engraved on a shot glass. Cheers to HA, ModR, Steve, and … Panthercakes!

  22. I follow an otter named Steve that’s in the UK (brings me lots of smiles and chuckles) and I secretly think he’s the same as the BDH Steve. It fits. Plus, I can really see him deploying ferrets (they’re cousins, or something, after all).

    Thank you for this! I really enjoyed it! 🤗

  23. So hilarious. Thanks, Mod R. I started humming the “Mission Impossible” theme song while reading the meeting notes. Steve! Is he trying to make the BDH look bad in front of Panthercakes?

    This was after I read in Magic Rises the whole plums description of Gerardo thanks to Desandra, and Andrea’s raising of her hands in the hallway. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  26. We are the Hoard, not Star ~fleet. Our First Directive is VERY different. Maximum interference for the greater good of appropriate shipping

  27. HA HA HA!!!

    This was excellent and gave me a good chuckle, so I shall return the favor.

    Yesterday I told this story to my College Algebra class:

    Me: Did I tell you guys that I saw a snake yesterday?

    Students: Murmurs of amazement, mainly since it is winter.

    Me: It was huge! I estimate about 3.14 meters long! I’m pretty sure it was a “PI thon”

    Students: Loud groaning and reluctant laughs.

    Nothing like a dad joke combined with math humor! 🙂

  28. “Instigator” seems like such a harsh way to describe the BDH. I respectfully suggest we come up with alternative descriptors. LOLOLOLOL

  29. Didn’t Augustine modify access points after witnessing the ferret heist?

    I could have sworn he was there with Rogan poo-pooing the idea of the heist until they saw it in action.

      • I thought Rogan told his housekeeper to put pressure sensors on the dryer vents. I don’t think Augustine did anything. If he didn’t the ferrets still have a chance even though they were told to stand down.

  32. This was adorable, thank you Mod R!

    I do have a question, is it too late to request mugs for this Friday’s reopening? I was wondering if we could have the ‘I like home it has books’ mug in the 20oz size? I’m a big tea drinker for work and the design is so adorable! If not, no worries, the 15oz one is already in my cart for reopening day.

    Please and thank you in advance~! 🙏❤️

  34. This is just the best. The books make this possible and create the Horde but posts like this just make life better. Thank you.

  35. Is Steve the otter from In Otter News? Or is Steve someone else?

    Because it would be really funny for an otter to run a ferret heist…

  37. This was so great! All of it! I especially loved:

    “Augustine’s whatthefuckeries didn’t weird Diana out. They weirded her in.”

    and

    “…yoinky sploinky…”

    Thank you Mod R for the sweet Friday treat! You are the best!

  40. I came to grab the link to the mugs, and got tiny ferret commandos ready to deploy. I think I’m almost squeed (squode?) out now.

  42. Love the ferrets. Received my “There Will Be RippeR Cushions” 11oz mug today. I just love it. Working on taxes and will drink my first cup of coffee in new mug as I struggle. Hope there will be no Ripper Cushions.

        • I wish to pass on to the Andrews household, how much I appreciate them taking on the enormous task of reopening the merchandise store, because I didn’t order anything the first time around.
          The two 15 ounce mugs I ordered and received were packaged well.
          1. Innkeeper/ripper cushions.
          Arrived on Thursday, February 12th.
          2. The inheritance/into the breach. Arrived on Friday, February 13.

          Thank you for all the effort you put into the merchandise store🥰

  44. Nah — I trust Augustine will have put up the vents ‘just in case’…

    perhaps the ferrets tunneled into offices?

  46. A perfect end to a long day!
    Thank you Mod R
    (And also BDH commentators)

    I shall strive to be ever so chalant while waiting for further news of ferrets and/or Valentines.

    😉

  47. I loved, loved, loved Beast Business! Thank you for this snippet(?) whatever. The side story and characterization of Tina Maduro was so fully developed. I just loved her, and the fuller story of Arabella as related to Diana just sucked me right in (that doesn’t sound good, maybe enthralled me? too gushy). Anyway I hooked on all the characters in and around Beast Business. Like Casablanca, each side character in the story was so complete and real you just want more.

    • That’s kind of the Andrews curse, isn’t it? Side characters so well developed that you just know there’s a story there-and we’re the Horde. We want the story. We want all the stories.
      Darn this adulting business where you have to accept reality

      • +1

        definitely the House Andrews curse! I’m imagining Ada, Elias, Bear, Cat, and Tia in future. also how Ada gets to Baha Char and finds Jovo. Sigh. How amazing HA is at creating living, breathing characters who continue on after every page is read! ❤❤❤❤❤

  48. Thank you for the chuckles Mod R! Go Panthercakes!!!
    If more mugs will be in the store Monday, I might be leaving my cart open to grab more goodies! Thanks HA!

  49. My sky dragon mug came and it was in perfect shape. I love it! Thanks for all you do to indulge us.

  50. Hehe, having just finished Beast Business yesterday and desperately wanting more… this was perfect ^.6pm

  51. this is great. thank you so much, love that the ferrets had to be stood down, bit I’m sure when they made it in, that maintaining soulful visual observation would have worked.

  52. I’m sorry to say I don’t think Steve is feeling that abashed – I heard him muttering about Maggie and March and I think he might be plotting. . .

  54. Love the ferrets, love the snippet!
    However, being in the UK, I’d be pessimistic about getting a prompt response from HMRC about VAT … sorry

  57. Mod R, you are the BEST!!!!

    I am sitting here too early in the morning on Valentine’s Day, getting ready for a 5k race that starts in about two hours and wondering why on earth I signed up for this when I KNEW how cold it’s been here lately…and this little adventure just gave me enough smiles and cheer to last through the end of the race and beyond! Thank you!!!

    Happy Valentine’s Day to HA, Mod R, and the BDH! 💕💕💕

  59. I love the BHD.

    Thank you for mugs. A thank you and a hug for all the patterns and sizes.

    I ordered, umm, several. I don’t know if this helps but I don’t care when they arrive . . . months. early next year. all good.

  60. Happy Valentine’s Day BDH

    I know the store issues can be stressful. That is why I didn’t request.

    That being said in the future, if possible and not too stressful, I would greatly appreciate a phone cover. I am holding onto my “cutting Edge” case with a thin ribbon of Arabella’s magic.

    Anything from house Andrew on the phone case. Everyone asked me about it and it gives me an opportunity to dive into my favorite world(s) and recruit potential BDH members.

    Thanks and Happy Valentines Day to my Favorite Authors

  61. I will be diligently following to see when the desk mat order link is up! And no, it’s not stalking!😁
    Finally move back into an office since the pandemic and I need office bling!

  63. This was fun. Glad the store is progressing, good idea to shut it down to catch up. Did Gordon’s shoulder completely recover?

  72. Thank you! This suggestion made me laugh and brightened my day! Now we really need more on Augustine and Diana, please. Ferrets, panthers and the whole zoo of wonderful creatures included!

  76. Now we would like a ninja ferret mug ,
    In little ninja costumes !
    With big expressive eyes …🥹 Pretty please 💕

  77. Those mats are gorgeous! Can we somehow get them as wallpapers? I really MUST have The Inheritance one to stare at all day on my computer (38″ ultrawide) pretty pwease????

  80. Considering Augustine had already noted the security risk ferrets represented, I’m really glad they weren’t released into MIIs vents.

  81. Personally?
    I am looking for a mug of various sizes….with the Beasty Business cover….and down at the bottom, a small BDH member/terrorist runs by, trailing a banner with “PANTHERCAKES” printed in KindergardenRiot font.

  84. That was fun. Thank you, Mod R. 🙂

    So many beautiful mugs!!! Thank you for indulging us!

    By my count we have 43 days ’til Maggie. Yea! Happily w****iting!

  86. Will there be more hidden legacy books ? I love those so much and this one was awesome!
    Would also like more Kate Daniels
    And more clean sweep
    Please!

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