OUR STORE: SHOP HERE

ILONA ANDREWS

#1 New York Times Bestselling Author

You are here: Home / Blog / Cats and Bookmarks

Cats and Bookmarks

Blog, Cats, Family, Maggie, Merch POST A COMMENT by

I overslept, and my day started with an outraged cat.

Over the past few days, a road crew has been working on the street next to our house. They are repaving it. The road is closed, and Gordon observed the workers having heated words with a driver of a delivery truck this morning. We might be trapped today.

Because of the road crew, we are keeping Tuna inside. Tuna started life as a stray who wandered randomly around an apartment complex, and breaking him of wanting to go outside is impossible. He has two acres here, and he is very much the lord of his domain. Today His Majesty was refused access to the outside. The inability to inspect his lands didn’t sit well, so he made himself into a nuisance.

Tuna: Pet me! Pet me! Pet me! Look, I meow by the door. Open door. OPEN DOOR.

Me, trying to clean up: No.

The allergies have been terrible, and neither of us is sleeping that well. I was shopping for some Halls cough drops and saw that instead of puny bags, they now come in full scale large jars. Of course, I bought a jar. It was delivered yesterday with saline spray and Flonase, and being too tired, I plopped all of that on my writing tray in the office. I need the tray to write.

Me, gathering items to take to the medicine cabinet.

Tuna: TREATS.

Me: No, you fool. These are not Temptation treats.

Tuna: TREATS.

Me: It’s cough drops!

Tuna: If not treats, why treat shaped? TREATS.

Tuna Vision

I gave him treats. The vet will fuss at me again over his weight, but there are limits to human patience.

I come to you with a mission this morning. The book is now 185K. It is very clear that there is no room left for anything else in our lives. I still have not unpacked. Or sent things out. Mod R will have strong words with me here soon if I keep failing.

We need assistance, or we will never get the shop back off the ground, and our time is better spent writing. To that end, we hired a designer to help us turn the treasure trove of art into merch. Here is some of her work.

These bookmarks will be included in the media package. We have secured a printer for the vellum, so we will be bringing to you a media pack with vellum, stickers, and bookmarks.

Do you have any favorite quotes or moments you want reflected in This Kingdom merch? Please leave us a comment below. If you are dying for something from the other series, you can throw it in there too, but we are focusing on This Kingdom as it is the latest release.

The comment section to this post contains SPOILERS. Read at your own risk.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. my two favourite quotes are from Everard:
    “When it happens—and it will—remember, you forced my hand.”
    and

    “It is a fine, long-standing tradition in my family to not give a fuck about what the Savarics think. I plan to continue it.”

  2. The picture of Tuna and Gordon in the stare off is hilarious. 🤣🤣🤣

  3. There are a lot of great quotes, and you don’t even have to know the context for them!

    “You have me. I don’t know the future, but I know the present, and I’ve decided to walk this path with you.”

    “Bless your heart.”
    “And that means?”
    “‘Eat dirt and die.’”

    “Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”

    “Survive, get paid.”

  4. “That was my idea, I came up with that”. My favorite quote from our clueless golden knight.

    • Maybe a little more context, but otherwise, yes, that’s a really good one.

    • Laughed out loud at that! So proud of his reign of destruction. He is hiding his spoiled evil behind his pretty face

    • I adore that line (the whole scene) especially in the audio book. The way the narrator says it is just perfect.

      • Yes!!! The narrator is AMAZING!!! She should win all of the awards for how fantastic she is!

  6. I must have that Soap Queen bookmark.

    Maggie’s Soap Queen quote would be a short and funny one for a bookmark. So many of my favorite quotes are 3+ paragraphs.

  7. Allergies are hitting hard in Texas. Try Fisherman’s Friend. Honey lemon cough drops. Strong but they will open your sinuses and stop the cough. You can get them on Amazon. Hopefully Tuna can return to land inspection tomorrow.

  11. Seriously love the Gordon/Tuna stare-off.

    My weather app tells me every day that pollen is increasing. Evidently in my part of Texas we also import pollen from New Mexico. 🙄

    Folks have picked some great quotes. (+1 on all of Molly Froerer’s picks.) For some reason, one of my favs:

    “Apparently, Lute didn’t just hold grudges, he cuddled them and tucked them in at night.” I would not be adverse to merch that says “Cuddles grudges and tucks them in.”

  12. few lines I loved…

    Put a hot dude in armor with a sword on the cover, and my eyes glazed over while my hand crept to the BUY button, budget be damned.

    “You have me, Maggie,” he said. “I don’t know the future, but I know the present, and I’ve decided to walk this path with you. As long as you will have me by your side, I won’t allow anyone to harm you.”

  13. My favorite was: “And for the record, you give me too little credit. I would take great care with your heart, Sol.”😂

      • Understood. Should have known you’d be on top of it. I honestly don’t know how you and the Author Lords keep all this stuff straight with your workloads.

      • I have waded through David Webber. Don’t threaten me with a good time LOL.

        I read the eBooks and knew it was a commitment with 10 books when recommended by a friend. Half way through the first one I was like…. wait…. how am I not at least through book one yet? Checked the page length and started laughing maniacally – yes each book is over 800 pages and I tore through them.

        And I would absolutely do the same for any House Andrews books 🙂 I read TONS of genres and HA hits all of my faves so far 🙂 I know this isn’t for everyone one, but for me? Bring it!

  15. Thanks horde – now I have to reread Maggie AGAIN just to check for all the great quotes and find some more!
    And for the record: I for one do like the increasing numbers on the wordcount.

      • I’m terrible at quotes, I think 4 or 5 rereads should do the trick 😂
        And I love many of the ones mentioned above, “Remember my name” is an epic one and also the quote about not knowing the future but being in the present

  16. A while ago, you had a mockup of a mug that had what looked like the Demarr crest on it, a dagger with three moons. I don’t need any more mugs, but I really want that one.

  17. I like a few different quotes cause they would express the kind of day that is happening:
    “Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”-it is a good day
    “Survive, get paid”-just need to get through
    “Cuddle the grudges and tuck them in at night”-something has gone wrong
    “Fuck’em”- The world needs to burn and start over

    stickers, cups, mugs, possible t-shirt

  18. I would love a new Roman mug “only cops and psychopaths drink their coffee black” as mine walked away to pastures unknown at work

    • I totally quote that to people that don’t want to fast for their blood work. 🤣 They complain that they can’t have their coffee black. It took until now to remember where I got that quote from. ❤️

    • Sorry for the loss but still had to laugh. I think my favorite mug did the same. It said: Science is my life. Kill me now.

      • I had a t-shirt that said, “Reasons to be a science major.” The number 1 reason was “So we can read and understand the ingredients of Spam.” 😂😂😂😂

  19. “Please have no fear. I do not intend to pursue you, my lord. I’d promise that I have no desire to end your chastity, but, as you’ve assured me, that dursan flew long ago.”

  20. “Yes! All the seduction!”

    “Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”

    “Survive, get paid.”

    As one also suffering from allergies (mine include cats and dogs unfortunately) I salute you.

  21. Holy (double) hundred thousand word range! Every time the count ticks up, I both feel your pain and squee with joy. HA effin rocks.

    Also, I upvote Molly Froehrer’s any-context quotes, particularly, “Survive, get paid.” and “Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”

    I cannot wait for Maggie 2 and have no chill 🙃

  22. Tuna: I will make myself so obnoxious that you will THROW me outside!

    My Felix is so skittish that after nearly 6 years in this house, he will *occasionally* pass me in the hallway instead of running the other direction. Right now, a handy man is replacing our railing and his saw is outside on the porch. The door is standing open when he goes back and forth. I closed the door to my office/the master bedroom because 1) noisy! and 2) open door, even though Felix has been cowering in the bedroom for the last week. The door was closed for 10 minutes before Felix was over there yelling about it. If I open the door, he will run away and hide again but restricted access to anywhere must be protested.

  23. This isn’t a quote but I love Candice Slater’s art. I would love to have a bookmark and other merch that features her artwork!

  24. “Religious extremists rarely had room for compassion. They were too busy making their religion into everyone else’s problem.”

    Love that line!

    • YES! This one is perfect for our times and lives. I have it on an index card (in my crappy handwriting).

      All the quotes are great – and just think of all the possibles not yet suggested.

      Please be sure to put identifying info “Ilona Andrews,” or “This Kingdom Will Not Kill Me” (but it’s rather long), on all the T-shirts, and squeeze it on cups or wherever if possible, so folks who haven’t found HA yet have a clue as to where to find the goodness!

      Your books are wonderful. They are so satisfying as they take us through the range of emotions and experiences. Very re-readable, too. The merch just piles on the fun. We of the Hoard are so thankful to be the beneficiaries of your shining talents and drive to write. Thank you.

  25. I see you intend to turn your interest in me into my problem

    For the love of the Aspects!

  26. my favorites quote is still: “Good morning. I see the assassins have failed.”

    Glad to see Tuna remains in fine fettle!

  27. My fave so far:

    “Well,” he said. “‘Undying’ is a bit of a misnomer, isn’t it?”

    “Yes, but ‘dying horribly and then waking up in a lot of pain’ is a bit of a mouthful.”

  28. “Your welcome has been withdrawn” because that was straight from Innkeeper and made me gasp. Also, one of the ridiculous names Solentine threw out when guessing Maggie’s actual first name ended up being another characters name at the ball. That was hilarious.

    • I saw the name thing last night on my reread and almost chocked. I genuinely thought he was just being silly with the names

  29. Sympathize with the allergies; I take Nettles supplements with the generic Claritin(used to include generic Flonase, but it began to raise my BP after so many years). If you all have a natural based pharmacy such as Natural Grocers, has these ‘Regional’ homeopathic drops/sprays that may help( I’d have to use at least 2 different formulas to cover mine, IF I remembered to pick them up). You might consider constructing a Catio enclosure, so if any of your cats aren’t supposed to actually go out, they’d still be able to Be outside. Gordon should have opened one of those cough drops and let Tuna smell it, to persuade him that it wasn’t a Treat. the ‘man to man’, human/cat standoff is very funny! “Catnip, anyone? Perhaps some cat-grass, monsieur?” Have also seen there are wheels/treadmills for cats…!

  30. It’s hard to pick favourite quotes, there are so many great ones.
    “‘Three hours after we met, you sold yourself into slavery and then died’ Well, yes, it sounded bad when he put it that way.”

    “What’s scarier than a rabid honey badger in human form? A rabid honey badger in human form who is your loyal cousin.”

    “You made it seem as if I have much more influence over you than I do.” “I believe I’m the ultimate authority on the amount of influence you have over me.”

    “We have a bigger problem.” Solentine spun me the same way Arvel had, giving me a glimpse of the northern side of the room. Black smoke coiled around Everard. It was barely visible, but it was there, snaking around his chest and arms. His eyes were a bright piercing green. “He’s smoking,” I ground out. “I’ve noticed. No man wants Arvel as a rival.”

    • Hmm. Let’s see…there’s another of my favorite characters who is also a “honey badger”. Honey badgers must have quite a rep.

      • Honey Badgers take on much larger creatures than themselves. Its become a bit of a meme in some circles, it’s crazy to watch.

  32. My highlights:

    “Maggie, you need to live in someone else’s head for a bit.”

    Fuck it.

    “One day, if we become friends, I might explain.”

    “Do I look like a noble?” I asked under my breath.
    “Yes,” Reynald told me. “Green suits you, Maggie.”

    “Survive, get paid.”

    “Is he dead?” I asked.
    “Yes.”
    “Are you sure?”
    “He’s as dead as any corpse I’ve ever seen.”
    “So we can’t question him?”
    “Maggie, he doesn’t have a face anymore.”
    “Oh.”

    I was right. I was right, I was right, I was right. I hadn’t screwed up. I would do a victory dance, except if I tried to stand right now, I’d probably fall over.

  33. I’m no help. I love everything everyone else has suggested. 😂 And the Gordon/Tuna stare down is a hoot.

    I’ll throw in a vote for “Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”

  34. Surprised I haven’t seen it here yet, but my votes for a bookmark would be Maggie’s leather and lace comment to Everard (however it best fits on the card) and possibly her “Bite me” to Silveren at the ball. I DIED of LAUGH when I got to that gem of a line. Appreciate you all for sharing peeks into the inner workings of goodie production, and much sympathy for the allergies and Tuna’s imprisonment. He’s not locked in with you; you’re locked in with him.

    • Adding a thought as shared by bestie coworker: the “Bite me” bookmark could feature Sushi art so even they who do not recall such a momentous moment in Maggie’s journey can join in. 😀

  35. I was looking at Solentine Dagarra. In the flesh. I could reach out and boop him on the nose. Oh god, he would kill me.

  36. Shirts with Sushi and First Scholar Thek(sp), I love that picture of him.

    • Thinking of the First Scholar, I saw a commercial in which a pitchman was trying to convince the other people to use space chickens in a commercial. Space chickens! I wonder if the writer of the commercial is a BDH member…

      Would love a t-shirt with Sushi

  37. I probably won’t buy merchandise. Well I might, I bought a copy for my granddaughter for her birthday and she loves merch. My favorite quote is “Lute doesnt just hold a grudge, he cuddled them and tucked them in at night.”

    I have a son like that.

  39. Good Morning, I see the assassins have failed.

    I would buy several mugs and shirts with this! Great gifts for my coworkers lol!

  40. My favorite line of all time is the one about the ripper cushions. I got one of the journals with that one. But survive get paid is top tier.

  41. For Clover: “Why did you stop eating? Is the food not delicious?”

    I’d also love a bookmark with Luisa Pressler’s Maggie and Everard – one on each side.
    Possible quotes
    Maggie “You made it seem as if I have much more influence over you than I do.”
    Everard “I believe I’m the ultimate authority on the amount of influence you have over me.”
    Or
    Everard “‘Your hair is down,’ he said. The smile got deeper.”
    Maggie “‘For crying out loud, it’s not like I ran out here wearing nothing but lace and leather.’”

      • apparently he didnt just hold grudges, he cuddled them and tucked them in at night.

        this makes me laught ever time.

  42. I really hope stickers I can put into my planner are part of the future merch!

  43. It’s not a quote, but I’d be all over a portrait of Everard combined with a “Duke of the North” label 😉
    I realise, however, that that might be too… trope-y to work 😊

    A +1 on “Good morning…have failed”, as mentioned above 😊

  44. My favorites:

    Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.

    One day, if we become friends, I might explain.

    I don’t just hold grudges, I cuddle them and tuck them in at night. (this is the wording I would want on a mug/shirt/bag/whatever)

  45. Quote for a mug: “Karma was a bitch, she was sharpening her scythe, and there would be a harvest.”

    Re: allergies, it is safe to layer on Azelastine with the Flonase… usually allergies are better controlled with both sprays done one after the other. Since the histamine reactions start at the nose, I like to address them there. (Also, I love sinus rinses but it’s a hard sell to patients.)

    • I have found I get nosebleeds if I use both Flonase and azelastine on the same day. So I alternate them every other day.

  46. Eros Brousson has a lovely commentary on cedar trees and their pollen! Thank-you so much for introducing my entire family to his H.E.B. video. I found many more. I also love the one on girl scout cookies! Tuna is adorable! I love ginger cats! Thank- you for sharing. Also, I like the quote about assassins failing.

    • The Girl Scout Cookie Cartel, selling criminally addictive cookies… such a good comic sketch 🙂

  47. I would love merch with these quotes but esp. latte mugs:

    Live in someone else’s head for a bit (with pics of the 2 Latour book covers or any HA book covers really)

    Good morning, I see the assassins have failed (with Sol’s house crest)

    Karma was a bitch, she was sharpening her scythe, and there would be a harvest

    • Yes! I adore: you need to love in someone else’s head for a bit! Can we do an oversized v neck nightgown?

  48. I get Tuna’s fascination with the temptation treats, our cat Precious loves the temptation Seafood treats. She gobbles them up as if they’re the most wonderful thing in the world.

    • I love seeing Tuna being Tuna!

      My cat, Mica, won’t eat her breakfast unless I create a short trail of the shrimpy treats to her bowl.

  50. The portrait of Tuna on the blog “click on me” is very majestic. That particular picture is not in the blog post when one opens it, but still cute Tuna pictures.
    My former ferals send greetings (Hey! – Amaretto; Food? – Sambuca)

  51. Allergies are bad this year in New England too!

    As for favorite quotes:

    “Karma was a bitch, she was sharpening her scythe, and there would be a harvest.”

    “Apparently, Lute didn’t just hold grudges, he cuddled them and tucked them in at night.”

    Will it be fresh enough, Maggie?

    “And for the record, you give me too little credit. I would take great care with your heart, Sol.”

    “Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”

    “Survive, get paid”

    “The Fuck’em Knight”

    “Well,” he said. “‘Undying’ is a bit of a misnomer, isn’t it?
    Yes, but ‘dying horribly and then waking up in a lot of pain’ is a bit of a mouthful.”

    “You need to live in someone else’s head for a bit”

    And Sushi’s “offerings”😂

  52. Lets see … quotes? I already have merch about poking stuff with a stick, checking dryer vents, Barsa, and white picket fences. I’m on 2nd re-read of This Kingdom, and will make note of what makes me chuckle as I go.

    Always love a good Kate or Curran quote, or Erra, the Rose of the Tigris:
    “Of course it blew up, Kate.”

  53. Adding to the calls for:

    Karma was a bitch, she was sharpening her scythe, and there would be a harvest.

    “I believe I’m the ultimate authority on the amount of influence you have over me.”

    “Sounds like you should be careful not to sleep with him.”

    And

    “Green suits you, Maggie.”

  54. Would love some stickers and mugs!

    Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.

    Looking for a knight in armour, 6’5, blue eyes.

    ‘I had no idea they drank tea,’ Reynald said.
    ‘Well, blood of their enemies gets old after a while!’

    ‘How about tea? I’ll drink tea.’
    ‘Wine is better!

    Also I loved the Easter egg of Solentine being described as a honey badger. He does give off

  55. I have read enough fantasy books to fill a library but This Kingdom Will Not Kill Me is my special treasure.

    One moment you are flying high and screaming at the world, the next someone bites your throat and drags you off into a dark alley.

    When they had swarmed me, I thought they were beautiful. They thought they’d spotted a Thanksgiving dinner.

    Is this where we’re both in a place we shouldn’t be, pretending to be someone we are not.”?

    I spent too much time watching the struggle and now I’m emotionally invested despite my common sense.

  56. I love all the above quotes (and the Gordon/Tuna stare off)!

    A few more probably too long for a mug:

    “Did you die again?” “Yes. But I killed the man who killed me.”

    “Maybe you can stay home so you don’t get kidnapped and murdered.” “I’ll die of boredom.”

    “I’ve never gone up,against an Archmage before. Might be fun.”

    “I trust you with my life. Just not with my freedom….Then I shall have to work harder.”

    “He is dead. I wish he wasn’t dead, so I could kill him.”

    “He’d looked at me like he would rip the world apart to keep me safe” (sigh)

    “What’s scarier than a rabid honey badger in human form? (One) who is your loyal cousin.”

    “If I worked that hard for the sake of someone my domain needed, I wonder how far I would go for the sake of someone I truly want.”

    “Good punch.
    Brace yourself.”

    Let’s face it! Virtually the whole book could be highlighted and put on a giant mug. But then we would sit there reading it on the mug again and never leave the table!

  57. In addition to the great suggestions above, I liked:

    “What are we doing.”
    “Waiting for the fish fairy.”

  58. “Who is in there?” a woman asked. “No one we want to find. Move along!”

    • lol maybe as a knock knock joke with Everard’s smoking picture?

      “Knock knock!”
      “Who’s in there?”
      “No one we want to find. Move along!”

  60. I cannot remember which image I thought would work best I think the book devouring horde one with the flag being set. BUT I really really want a sunset hills stoneware, wide mouth or potbelly cup in possibly these colors: dark mint, lava rock, silvery night, or heritage green. they do amazing work I have a few mugs from them from other places and their work is immaculate. I’ve even been tempted to offer to pay the price (200$) for the first box I exchange for one cup to get a Ilona Andrews cup from them I don’t even care what emblem was used, hell I’d love the tree with the nechists in n it would be cool ….

    to make it Maggie it’d be cool to get the house crests on some cups and people could collect them all or the houses they like. https://www.shstoneware.com/

    • Second this, if possible. I love this style of mug. Maybe expand to one or two of the most popular ones for this?

  61. Without looking at the other comments..

    “Maggie the Soap Queen” for the win!!!
    “You too can Rule with clean, soft hands!”

    I laugh each time I read the line..

  62. ‘Commitment isn’t a problem for me.’
    ‘No, I imagine not. it’s getting you to stop that’s the problem. ‘ hehe

    but mostly, am surprised it wasn’t one of the top ones:
    ‘If I worked that hard for the sake of someone my domain needed, I wonder how far I would go for the sake of someone I truly want?”
    swoon❤️

    but I suppose Everard saying to Solentine about ‘when it happens and it will-remember-you forced my hand’ is a shorter declaration of his intent

  63. A bunch of the stuff her “brother” said when he was getting her away from Arvel.

    The thing about the magic words, something like, I should totally be dead.

    Oh, oh, and that one where Everard says how dangerous she is.

    Someone please help me find these?

    • The whole scene with Rumian was hilarious.

      Rumian shows up end of chapter 40 and little bit beginning of 41, pg 437-439 on kindle.

      Do you think he will chase us?…That would be fun.

      Did I do well?…Was I too stern? You were wonderful. Splendid. I always wanted to be an older brother.

      Why do I never get to do anything exciting?

  65. “For crying out loud, it’s not like I ran out here wearing nothing but lace and leather.”

    Love everything about the scene.

  66. I highlight as I go along just for some task such as this:
    “You’re bold this morning.” / “Clover’s delicious brunch restored me to my natural state.” – ch11

    Put like that, it did sound ridiculous, but I had marched into this conversation, and I had to keep going until I got myself out of it.
    – ch 12 (so relatable)

    “Green suits you, Maggie.”
    – ch 13 (I will admit, this line is part of what made me shout when I got to the reveal, and reread the book just to double check it came across the way I had remembered.)

    “Salt is always fresh, my lady”
    – ch 13 (too many friends of mine are always salty over games and it stood out).

    I do have more highlighted but this seems like a good place to stop!

  68. These 3 are my “keepers”:

    Bless your heart.”
    “And that means?”
    “‘Eat dirt and die.’”

    “Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”

    “Survive, get paid.”

    Thank you for sharing your worlds with us.

  69. Also, a hand with 3 coins and the quote “It was hope in my fingers.”

  71. “I’m looking for a man in armor. Six five, blue eyes.”

    “Zero out of ten stars. Would not recommend.” If there’s enough space, I would do the entire passage that starts with “I started yesterday with beautiful hair…”

  72. “If there was anything a liberal arts education taught you how to do, it was to read a bunch of different sources and vomit all the information in an organized and concise manner.”

    I have a couple English literature degrees, and this is pretty much how I describe the skills I gained. 🤣

  75. This one made me laugh out loud.

    “Good morning. I see the assassins have failed.”

  76. I’d love a Solentine one with “when someone says let’s put all our cards on the table, you never put all your cards on that table”

    I also would love the Demarr coat of arms with “We come at night and stab you”

    I love the passage where Sol asks Maggie what her feelings are for Everard, and she says she wants to brain him with something heavy.

    I would also love a Rumian picture with “Fastest blade in Rellas” or “Why do I never get to do anything exciting?”

  77. “I thought we had established trust.” Everard looked into my eyes. “I trust you with my life. Just not with my freedom.” The Sleepless Duke smiled. It was an indescribable smile, knitted from determination, power, and pure heat. “Then I shall have to work harder.” Dear god.

  78. Oh sound marvellous! Is it possible to have it if we are in France or is it US only?
    Thanks for all your great work I am so happy to know that volume 2 is coming with a lot of words. I love Maggie so much.
    Cuddles to Tuna, he is beautiful your majesty.

  79. I must have read the book four times already. I’m half-way through a fifth time now to find favorite quotes I could see on bookmarks. I figured I should stop while I’m ahead.

    “Undying’ is a bit of a misnomer, isn’t it?”
    “Yes, but ‘dying horribly and then waking up in a lot of pain’ is a bit of a mouthful.”

    “I’m not a knight, but I’m not afraid.”

    “I shall be Maggie the Soap Queen of Kair Toren. I will rule this city with my clean, soft hands…”

    “Calm winds and tranquil sky.” “Warm sun and safe harbor,”

    “I’m no Omelyana. I have other things to do.”

    “That was coincidental, my lord. I’m not into bondage, and if I were, you’re not the partner I would choose.”

    “I will devote my life to the Sleepless Duke, but first I will get some pastries.“

    • I love the quotes you shared!

      I’ve re-listened to the audiobook over a dozen times.
      I do not want to leave Kair Toren!!
      Whenever I finish, I just click right back to Month of Planter, Day 6 (and sometimes restart in chapter 2, skipping over the first death).

      • It’s so good! It’s ridiculous and unreasonable how much I need the next book NOW.

  80. “These are the actions of deranged assholes! What does that make you?”
    “I am the Lord of Assholes, your majesty.”

  82. “Do you think the toad knows he is a toad?”

    “Use me. Let me be your shield. Let me take care of you.”

    “If I come back here and find you gone, I will level this damn city. “

  83. All the quotes already mentioned need to be merched asap!

    I need a “Survive, Get Paid” shirt! I want the option of not having the “no risk, no gold” on the back. This way I can buy 2 different options for my various moods.

    And I totally want a “Good morning, I see the assassins have failed” mug.

    I think a bookmark with “Calm Wind, Tranquil Skies” on the front and the response on the back would be lovely too! But I could also see it as a mug, sweatshirt, and sticker.

    Every memorable quote would be great in sticker format, please!!

  84. I love the Maggie soap bookmark. Lots of stickers! And Sanctuary stickers! I missed out on those.

  85. I loved this quote from Maggie

    “Someone in this awful city had been nice to me, and good things did happen here. It was hope in my fingers.”

  86. I love the book so much, that picking quotes is hard but I agree with a lot of the suggestions and added a few of my own:

    “Good morning, I see the assassins have failed.”

    “Survive, get paid”

    “The Fuck’em Knight”

    “Well,” he said. “‘Undying’ is a bit of a misnomer, isn’t it?
    Yes, but ‘dying horribly and then waking up in a lot of pain’ is a bit of a mouthful.”

    “Bless your heart.”
    “And that means?”
    “‘Eat dirt and die.’”

    “These are the actions of deranged assholes! What does that make you?”
    “I am the Lord of Assholes, your majesty.”

    “Butt napkins. The essence of luxury.”

    “For crying out loud, it’s not like I ran out here wearing nothing but lace and leather.”
    “Leather and lace. I’m still trying to picture it.”
    “Don’t.”
    “Is it not usually either or? How would one combine the two…” He gave me a contemplative glance.
    “You need to broaden your horizons.”

    I would love the last one on a bookmark! I want to buy all the things!

    Tuna is incessantly adorable! My cat Snowball used to block my computer like that.

  88. So many things…

    “No risk, no gold”
    “She needs to stay in her carriage”

  90. I keep hoping for a new phone case. I am still using the Cutting Edge one that I purchased years ago.

  91. Okay, all of these are so good! I listened to the book, and then I listen to it again right away. I don’t think I’ve ever gone straight back to a book like that, that quickly!

    The one that keeps floating around in my head. I don’t know the full quote for but it was something like this:

    There were a bunch of hot guys around or something and she was looking around and thinking that it was like a fireman calendar but with a distressing lack of cats.

    • That was another Laugh Out Loud moment. I’ve read it four times and I’m still laughing. I’ve noticed that people are edging away from and giving me the side eye everytime I read this book in public. No idea why!!

  93. Astepro nasal spray is available without a prescription. I’ve used it on and off for years. It works. Quickly. BUT, it tastes terrible. Cough drops will help dilute most of the taste. Usually. Talk to your PCP.

  94. I had to share the quote, “Apparently, Lute didn’t just hold grudges, he cuddled them and tucked them in at night.” I’m laughing out loud again just typing this in. Yes, I’m getting odd looks from my husband and our fur-baby.

  95. I have a Drago, orange long haired, goes outside every night on his schedule and demands catnip every night, again, on his schedule and will try to open the drawer where it is kept. If I’m not paying attention or ignoring him he jumps up and stomps across my lap desk and my chest, all 16 pounds of him over and over until I pay attention.

    Dani, my mannered 8 pound female, quietly sits on the floor next to my chair, utters a quiet meow, and gently taps my arm with her paw for attention. I’ve had them for almost 11 years now and it took her about 6 years to feel comfortable with me. Our relationship developed very slowly and entirely at her pace. She only connects about three times a day and the rest of the time she is under cover somewhere. Godzilla vs the Princess.

  97. “You made it seem as if I have much more influence over you than I do.” “I believe I’m the ultimate authority on the amount of influence you have over me.”

    Also, I would like a blank one to write my personal favorite

  98. “Survive, get paid.”

    and thank you for putting up with us.

    Very Horde-ishly Yours

  99. I just don’t understand how a larger word count can in any way be something bad :)))
    bring moooorrrreeee
    yes, need more pages

    Also a good quote is the “Good morning. I see the assassins have failed.”
    Really encompasses the whole book :))

  100. I live in central Texas (about 45 minutes down the road from y’all). Right now, Zyrtec is my BEST FRIEND! And the weather is unpredictable! It’s 9:30am and 60 degrees with a real feel of 51! In May! I think Mother Nature is trying to make a point here!