There are only 14 more weeks of 2026, which frankly fells like an attack. But at least Spooky Season, my favourite season, is coming next.
I was looking over some ideas for themed posts and content, and I’m having trouble choosing.
On paper, we read Ilona Andrews books and we’ve got witches and covens, giant grandma skeletons, the God of Darkness and his ritual priests, necromancers with giant eels, decapitated heads in sacks, jorogumos and a thousand and one monsters, vampirifications and giant flowers that feed on people.
And yet…very few of the scenes actually register as legitimately *spooky* to me.
House Andrews somehow manages to make most of those elements heartwarming. Who doesn’t love Evdokia and her “I have a herb for that!”? George spending himself on his necromancy is touchingly bittersweet. We all chuckled at the Undead Rainbow, and the Skittles vampires knitting soft baby socks. The Horde’s special relationship with Cherny is well documented, and we think his volhv is a snaccck (yay, we’re evil enough!).
Just in case this is a me problem and I’ve consumed too much horror and creepy stuff to feel the tingles anymore, I’m coming to my favourite Horde for opinions.
Which scene, creature, location or moment in the Ilona Andrews books gave you the strongest Halloween feeling? That deliciously creeping, eerie, something-is-wrong-and-I-do-not-want-to-turn-around feeling?
And if you’re new to House Andrews, no encyclopedic knowledge required – tell me what has given you the shivers so far!
All series are fair game, I want your creepiest nominations.
First?
👻First!
Second – never bin so close. Have a great day
Been 🙈
I know second isn’t a thing… but I’ve never been in sneezing distance from first before so this feels like an achievement.
And I feel like HA tends to uncreepify the creepy which is one of the things I love about them!
Or I guess third once I finished typing so slowly 😂. Still feeling the residual glow!
The corrupted innkeepers!
Absolutely the corrupted innkeepers!
Absolutely! No humor, no chance of redemption, total unknown. Walking Death.
DITTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
True, very high creep factor!
Yes!
Completely the creepiest!
More the realization that the twisted inn was Magnolia Green.
for me that is magnolia is just heartbreaking, not the corrupted inn keepers Def creepy as others have said above
Creepy, yes, but more *infinetely* heartbreaking
+Whatever number we’re up to
+1
+1000
+1
The creepiest of the creepy. Tattered robes, hoods that make their faces looks like a void, sallow skin and claws. Yup. No thanks.
The “visit” to the corrupted Magnolia Green epitomized the creepy corrupted ad-hals! That was a true house of horrors!
+1
By far.
Yep! Along with the rotting moldy kidnapped inn where they found Wilmos. Creepy & sad.
Ugh yes. That poor Inn
Yup i came here to say this! Also when Dina is walking through the house in the last book. The Corruption everywhere and the horror of what had been done!
+1
+1
The first- and second- thing that came to mind was Unicorn Lane. Every time something happens.
My favourite is “Here kitty, kitty, kitty”.
Same!
Unicorn Lane is mine too. Weird, creepy but also fascinating…definitely Halloween vibes.
This! That’s the first thing that popped in my head when I read this post. 😀
I think one of the creepiest things I have read is the creature in the pit and its creativity.
Me too! I thought it was scary and creepy! But then, I can’t read certain authors because they scare me to death and give me nightmares- mainly because they’re too close to crazies in the real world
In the Edge series the mother has been turned into a plant. Also any thing involving water dangers! I hope everyone is well and looking forward to Autumn. I ended up mailing a box off for last Saturday’s baby shower with a quilt, changing pad, burp rags, bibs, crocheted hat and bootie set, swaddling /nursing cover, pink sacque, and white gown with bonnet! Good thing I make stuff ahead for when my cousins need it. I mailed it priority mail with signiture required and it got there in time! Happy Autumn!
I second Spider and the fusion of Genevieve with the plant, if we’re talking creepiness. That for me is an element of true horror, well beyond anyone who accepted modifications with consent.
However, Halloween for me means a cozy, theatrical kind of creepy. The Edge series is more cinematic and more visceral in its impact.
Yeah, I won’t reread that one. I’m not into horror at all, and Spider got to me.
I don’t like horror at all but love IA. 99% of the time it’s on the right side of the line for me, but Spider frequently crosses it. I love that series but skip Spider scenes. Genevieve breaks my heart.
I just re-read Bayou Moon, and I had forgotten just how creepy the Hand and Spider really were. I love William and the Marr family, but I won’t be visiting the Mire again any time soon!
+1
I hadn’t reread the Edge in ages. Then got far enough to realize it was the one with the mom turned into a plant, which I find really disturbing. Tried a bit to see if I could read around it, but have mostly given up. Sigh.
Yes, the plant thing was REALLY creepy!
+1
the plant modification of Geneivieve and how disgusting the Hand’s agents were… nothing cosy about that.
I find it hard to read those scenes and yet that book and the last was my favourite of the Edge series
+1
I had forgotten about that. Oh, well. Time for a reread.
+1
+++
That is why I just can’t reread that volume! It completely does me in the horror that she is still here Mom trapped into this horrific change! Like the sisters in Roman’s short story where the priest can’t keep his promise and the transform into hideous monsters all while being completely aware of what is happening to them. Horrors indeed!
+1
+1 to the mother turned into the flower! that was the first thing I thought of- and now I am rereading the Edge. so good! I hadn’t read it in a while
I think for me, the first KD book (Magic Bites?) is the spookiest. We have our first foray into Unicorn Lane, a gruesome murder mystery, and scenes of body horror.
Happy spooky season to The Horde!
+1
Before I officially devoured all of their writing this book creeped me out the most. The upir in general was very creepy but even our first glimpse at the vampires were scary. Granted the first time I read this book was in middle school so it could also be because of my age but I still think it’s one of the creepiest books they have written.
+1 yes to this. Also it has a dragon skeleton come to life which is both creepy and wow moment.
+1
+1!
+1 The upir and his son- it’s a dark, gruesome book, but you can’t skip it because so many things begin there that continue through the series.
The Edge series and the first KD book are the darkest and creepiest to me.
+1 for the upir
The scene where Curran and Kate have to listen to Curran’s ex get tortured is always a hard read.
The Box in The Edge series was pretty horrifying. being moderately claustrophobic and then add the pain and bio-magic aspects and that was a big yikes for me.
I think all the murdery descriptions in every series are graphically well-done, and creep me the heck out.
oh, and the interdimensional critters in the Hidden Legacy world. imagine being a mundane person wandering through your neighborhood, heading for a coffee and a scaled monster with rows of giant teeth just leaps out of nowhere because a couple of Houses are having a snit-fit??
+1 million
The Edge books, especially the second and third, were the most disturbing and two of very few I haven’t read more than twice.
In terms of creep factor scenes? The scene on Kate’s front porch with the upir, followed by the approach to the upir’s lair, hearing the history of the place, seeing his victims lined up. The porch scene for me because of the way they describe how he looks, the way he moves, then the dialog. Yikes.
For super-creep factor? I read Only Forever.
Honestly Moderator R
I read house Andrew’s book to avoid all the horrors of the everyday news, the tragedies on the job and the worry about what happens to my almost-contrymen and women in Greenland (beeing danish) I really really don’t need more scary.
I have probably misunderstood halloween and the cozy scary being to old to have had Halloween celebrations as a child
Wish you luck in your endeavors and thank you for your p***ence with the horde
Hugs!
Kate Book 9 Chapter 6/7. Mrs. Boudreaux – the lady who ate children and had an house full of bones. Definitely creepy.
“Her legs turned within their sockets with a vomit-inducing crunch, until her knees stuck straight up, like the legs of a spider. Her neck lengthened, thickening, the skin dripping down to form a pouch on her throat. Her white hair fell loose around her giant head, her wrinkled breasts sagged to the forest floor, and a thin strip of gray fur sprouted on her spine. Yellowed claws curved from her fingers and toes. She was the size of a bus. “Hungry!” She screeched, clicking sharp conical teeth. “I’m hungry!””
Oh yes, the cannibal hill hag!
Ditto Cannibal Hill Hag. Shudder.
Second the corrupted inkeepers.
I feel like the contestant brought by the meat-eating tree al (sp?) bought was also cre, ultimatum-giving trees was pretty creepy. Mostly because of how much humans can be messed up by their upbringing and the contrast between pretty privilege and blood thirst. Discuss. 😀
I listened to that over the weekend and hearing the description is makes it much more real and creepy. Deputy Holland sounds a lot more determined to quit, too.
And her mouth unhinging as wide as it did?
Good one! I forgot about her!
The first book of the Wilmington Years (Kate Daniels).
The monster that ate kids in the ghost ship. The description of the deformed belly and then barfing the kid’s hand to eat it again CREEPED me out.
Also, in the last Innkeeper book. The fight with the bad guy in the Corrupted /Dying Inn of her parents. That whole scene gave me the Creeps as well.
The fight in the corrupted inn is so spooky and devastatingly sad! and I think it was also in that book where Dina went to visit the creepy spider lady who sees the future? She was also super spooky.
Definitely the corrupted inn and inn keepers!
For me “Only Forever” and “Rusalochka” were the spookiest by far. They are the perfect level of spook for me since I sone love the creepy crawlies but I do love to theme read for each season.
Only Forever https://ilona-andrews.com/only-forever/
and Rusalochka https://ilona-andrews.com/rusalochka/
In case anyone missed these two free fiction stories from the Free Fiction page https://ilona-andrews.com/free-fiction/ 🙂
One Americana-flavoured horror and the other very Eastern rite! Good mentions!
Very creepy!!! Reading them once was enough! But the corrupted innkeeper is horrifying in a way I can actually read it and not just go…nope..nope.. not reading that again. I’m glad.
Both of these are new to me! What great way to start the week, thanks!
oh wow, I’d not read the second one ever. very creepy
also I have been listening to of Swine and Roses and realised that the scene where Chad pushes her into the river is linked to this book!!!
just wondering which world the books are set in? is it edge or inheritance?
Cheers
Neither 🙂
Swines and Roses is one of the trunk stories, where the authors were exploring ideas for worldbuilds.
oooh, only forever is super creepy!
That time Kate had to feed deer blood to the Viking ghost!
The draugr is a great reference!
Yes!!!!
The evil in the woods in Magic Claims was SO CREEPY the first time I read it. Low-key felt like a horror novel.
About any scene inside Mishmar!!
ooh the monsters in Maud’s book that prey on kids. Being a mom those were the creepiest to me.
I second the pit creature with hi romantic overtures to Catalina. Yikes!
Not creepy, but fun Halloween ish would be the baba yaga house and Kate learning she’s related to the witches and a bit more about her mom.
Totally cozy spooky season vibes with the Baba Yaga house. It makes me want pumpkin cake and hot chocolate on the porch.
The sea demons who ate at Julie’s biological mother while Julie watched while on the cross.
Another one was Cornelius sang the rats to Rynda’s mother and all that was left were her bones in Wildfire.
Both of those remind me of horror stories of the past (like Steven King with Cornelius’ revenge).
One other could be Unicorn Lane where you never know what it might spit out at Atlanta.
**Cue the scary music**
Mod R, I’m surprised you haven’t broken out in the “Monster Mash” song yet. It’s a graveyard smash. 😉😎
Werewolves of London. My brother does the whole house and yard lights synchronized to music. First year he didn’t have Werewolves of London. Don’t know how he missed it. (He did have Monster Mash.)
He added Werewolves of London the following year thanks to my nagging.
Man, I miss Warren Zevon. Every time I hear that introduction and get all excited, and then it turns out to be a different song, which shall remain nameless, by a different artist, ditto – every time!!! – it’s such a bummer.
I have to say the Edge series has the most creepy scenes out of all the IA books for me. The magically modified Hand agents were a gross fest. *shudders*
I agree! I especially feel Bayou Moon has lots of creepy moments…!
The scene in Magic Bites when Kate Curran and Nick go to fight Bono because even Kate didn’t want to go in there and I’m sorry but if it scared Kate then I’m out!
Huge oversized bugs will creep me out every time. Like in The Inheritance. Anything that skittles past just at the edge of your vision. I can’t recall what the bugs were called, but yeah, dark tunnels, skittling sounds, and I’m out 😅
For me, the scariest thing from IA books has to be Sunshine Realty, but that probably isn’t what you are looking for.
beyond that, probably Mishmar. That has to be the ultimate haunted house.
That’s a great description of Mishmar! Definitely Haunted House vibes!
corrupted innkeeper description (Innkeeper) and the thing in the pit (Catalina books)
As I listened today to it, Kates Fight with the Wendigo in the Glass Menagerie, the flight and Hugh slaughtering the Order afterwards, and Kate has to watch. Creeeeepy.
and yes, the Draugr is next in Creepy.
I find their various monsters pretty horrifying but not ‘spooky’ in the sense that I’m afraid to read more–with one exception: The corrupted ad hal. Those seriously creeped me out.
+1
Nevada interrogating the mercenary after the attack on the warehouse, and realizing that everyone is thinking of her as the monster.
There have been some good ones mentioned so far, but I’ll add that the scene in This Kingdom (spoiler warning!) where Maggie is tortured and then has to kill the serial killer…and then when she goes to the cemetery to confirm he’s dead. All pretty disturbing/creepy.
A lot of This Kingdom creeped me out…much more than all the other HA’s. The Game of Thrones-like bits….i had to stop reading GOT around book 6 or 7 for that reason!
+1
I think if there’s any spooky scenes they’d be in the Roman ‘Christmas’ book, Sanctuary.
The first thing that came to mind was the beginning of the “Here Kitty, Kitty” scene. The vibes that come off of it at first are goosebumpy!
These are all great!
A more recent spooky/creepy one, for me, is in TKWNKM when Maggie goes to the Tangle and starts the incantation –it’s hair-raising everytime. I’ll just leave it at that so as not to spoil.
Kate’s journey into the dark forest to help out Thanos and ultimately negotiate with “Cherny” was pretty creepy to me. She of course handled the situation as best should could but the set up was eerie!
I only read it once then couldn’t again — Jim and Dali’s second short story, the one with the nightmares. The thing that sits on your chest while you sleep, UGH I CAN’T! Pity because I did find the ending satisfying — Jim’s worst fear is him turning loup, Dali helps him defeat it, and they finally get together. Unfortunately the association with that particular story just gives me the creeps so no re-read *shudder*
+1!
The AI construct in the pit feels very timely right now. The scene where it starts to create version of Shadow is horrifying.
+1!
The Mukama are creepy for sure. The Dushegub. The weird creatures Adaline meets and has to kill…
In Magic Bites, the scene in Chapter 8 at Kate’s cabin when the upir left the dead woman’s head (and the followup with the upir and the bone ward in Chapter 9) was probably the most intensely creepy “horror” scene for me across all the books and series.
From the scenes mentioned here so far the corrupted ad hal takes first place. After that it’s probably the sentient construct in the pit.
I usually avoid horror at all cost and tend to go for cozy spooky.
However, the most horrifying thing that comes to mind from the IA worlds to me is the “boiled people to get their bones” storyline from Kate Daniels.
The scene where the darkness is creeping out of the containment box and no one senses it. Dina knows but is powerless to tell anyone because she is trapped in her isolation and despair.
+1
Followed closely by the corrupted ad-Hal, the pit construction, the world killer, he box of evil concoctions in Maude’s story, all the nasty Spider bits in the Edge and the upir and a few other nasties in KD.
All of them beg a cosy blanket, warm light, and fortifying cuppa.
I think Red Point (the inmates being swallowed alive by the walls) and the upir (his whole deal but also the scenes he left Kate and his kids)… creeps me out
For me, it’s the evil queen in Magic Claims. She secretly infects the townspeople and starts demanding human sacrifice. What was done to the rhino was worse than Frankenstein, and her treatment of her priests and minions was horrifying.
For me, I had a moment of “oh no, no thank you get me out of there! and Kate too!” When Kate fell into the water cave with our Miniature Hobbit Man 🙂 and had to hold her breathe to escape.
Being under water without a clear view of topside – and AIR is a fear/phobia of mine. I kept thinking, swim faster Kate!
Iron and Magic when Elara faces the skudakumooch in the tunnels below the keep. Not sure which was spookier, her magic or the creature’s, but she was spooky enough to scare Bale!
1+ the whole atmosphere plus the description of the monster gave me goosebumps- creepiest scene for me so far.
Agreed! This was the first thing I thought of. Plus what he did to make the shaman into that creature was so horrible
The dead, tortured shaman in the dark underground tunnel in Iron and Magic was my first thought! But all these mentioned scenes are creepy in the moment.
Hands down the people jelly in kd 10. I still can’t listen to descriptions of the “leftover” lakes after the dragon army extracted the bones. Ughhhhh
+1
+1 -read that recently and it creeped me out!
Same!
Pretty much all of Bayou Moon from The Edge. The setting creeps me out because I have a problem with dark, muddy water that ANYTHING can lurk in. The body mods of some of the Hand agents were disturbing. Genieveves forced fusion with a giant, meat eating flower was awful. And what happened with grandpa Vernard and his medical box was just ick. And let’s not forget the whole Sophie/Lark thing with the slavers and the hole in the ground.
I agree! A lot of ick, but especially the plant fusing. Makes me shudder.
The creepy animated dragon and other corpses in Magic Bites always creeps me out.
Definitely the zombie Viking that really thought Kate was a snack in the literal sense. The buildup to it was particularly good, I feel. With the deer blood and what have you.
Inside Mishmar was the creepiest part. But I was horrified when Kate and Gastek were dying in the waterlogged pit/place they were transported to.
The unnamed temple in This Kingdom. Spooky as Hell.
The temple of the hands. Agreed, very spooky.
Curran stalking Kate. Heck, even she was scared.
Patricia’s reply above re “Monster Mash” made me think of something that I’ve been meaning to bring to the Horde’s attention for a while now, but just haven’t hit the right moment… until now. If you’re a fan of acapella music, you may have heard of the singer Geoff Castellucci. He is the bass of the vocal group VoicePlay and he has his own channel as well. One of his early offerings was “Monster Mash,” done in full costume with staging. It is fantastic! Just search his name and that title on YouTube and it should come right up. He also does narrations, of which his take on Sleepy Hollow is not to be missed. The reason I wanted to mention him to the BDH is because of that lovely bass-y, smooth voice of his. It could work for any number of characters in the Andrews-verse, but in my head that is Roman’s voice. I will die on this hill (figuratively!)
Funny you should mention Geoff. I was thinking yesterday that he would make a good Curran.
I think all the Mavr descriptions from Blood Heir, and the castle description from King of Fire. The final book in the Edge series when Charlotte is going nuts and almost becomes the plague and almost kills Spider.
The genetic modifications done in Bayou Moon still give me the heebie jeebies
The only writing that has really gotten to me was Only Forever, the short they wrote for a horror magazine that didn’t get picked up. That thing still gives me the creeps!
So many wonderful, creepy scenes from the Author Overlords! It’s hard to pick one. The Edge has so many…the box, the fusion, the water serpent. I’m flashing on the snake people in the shop that were after Andrea (and got her) in Gunmetal Magic. Also, Bea’s dead husband and the woman who ate the magic apples. Shudder. More, please!
I would say the end of Sweep of the Heart when you know who has Wilmos!
The stalker attach in Dina’s subdivision. Being chased into your home by a creature you never seen before and who wants to kill and eat you. Definitely scary.
The Inheritance has some hair raising moments.
Nav.
The Edge with all of Spiders minions and their activities.
I relish it so much, the Edge hits all my high-points.
Ok, I don’t think I got ANY true shivery moments from HA — until the moment when Maggie was rescuing Isabeau and the evil hands were opening the door to the temple.
I really hope that will be developed further.
The corpse animation when Catalina and Runa were in the morgue.
Nevada and Rogan trapped and freezing.
That one short story in the angel of darkness anthology. creepy
Do you mean Alphas: Origins, Zealith?
(https://www.amazon.com/dp/B016JPTGN6)
While Augustine can bring any nightmare to life, Kate and her family work with blood. I know it was more urban dystopia, but it is rather nightmarish
When Beast opens her mouth and there are extra teeth?!? What type of Shih Tzu is she? Really, I need an origin story 🥺
Oh yeah, that old lady who ate children and sucked the marrow out of bird bones (in Kate Daniels’ series) was very ick.
Halloween is my favorite holiday for many reasons (decorating, fall weather, dressing up, jump starting the holiday season, etc)!
+1
Oh, yeah, super creepy and cruel.
Reading through the comments, there are so many creepy things, but I agree that none of them hit me with the Halloween creepy factor… that being said, the scene just before they head out to the midnight games when Jim and crew find out that Curran is coming and then Kate sits and waits for him. The suspense!!
He’s coming!
I was super creeped out by the Abyss in the Pit of Houston (Sapphire Flames) and by the Rakshasas evil fortress in Unicorn Lane, if that’s any help?
The creepiest scene for me was from Magic Triumphs. When Kate was looking at that initial scene in the first chapter and realized all that disgusting, creepy goo was the remnants of people/creatures being boiled alive—that was seriously creepy and brutally horrifying to read.
Happy Thanksgiving and Spooky Season everyone!!
+1
Well, there is Michael, sidekick to the Keeper of Records. Although I’m not totally clear if the magic used to punish Victoria was just Michael’s magic or was a blend of the Keeper & Michael in concert. But that magic can turn a human to dust & since Victoria was screaming in pain when she was being punished we know it hurts. Then there was Benedict – a ‘crime against nature’ as per Alessandro whose magic looked like ‘a nest of serpents’. The psionic terror wielded by the Ravenscrofts, Catalina’s harpy scream effect upon Alessandro’s nasty grandfather – lots of potential creepy:)
Basically anything corrupted.
Innkeepers, Ad-hals, inns… especially the latter. (Trying to stay spoiler-free).
Definitely the ‘blob thingy’ in the river, after Maggie resurrected the first time – that was scary af! (TKWNKM)
This one for me too! Had my heart pounding. I think it was partly the unknown that made it scarier
Definitely Magic Binds where Kate is helping out Beau Beaufort and she investigates the old lady’s house filled with bones. It’s super creepy and kind of gave me Inuyasha demon vibes: large ambulatory creatures with long limbs that devour people but just creepy
I have to say Magic Gifts is a favorite when I’m in an eerie mood. The killer necklace is such a creepy start, but the draugr really gets me. Even Kate knew she had to run instead of fight.
The Fae Queen. The way she was taking control of people in order to consume them in Magic Claims. That creeped me out.
The corrupted Inn/keepers, which a number of people already agree on.
The water undead that attacked Kate at her apartment.
And though it was an excerpt from one of the Hugh books, that March to do “something” to Elara as a flashback.
There are 48 books in the Andrewsverse, so picking one scene out of all that is pretty much impossible. For me, the 3 hardest scenes to read were:
1. When the Upir and his children murder Curran’s former lover over the phone while Myong freaks out in the background.
2. When Hugh murders the knights of the Atlanta Order and then tortures (heals) Ascanio while Kate is locked in a cage.
3. When Maggie is captured by The Butcher.
+1
Add in Roman’s job and book. Everyone else seems to try to be better and rise above. It’s Roman’s job to sink into the darkness. It makes me uncomfortable and feels too dark.
The magnolia inn reveal in the innkeeper books
OK, this might be the recency theory thing at play, but I’m re-reading TKWNKM. I’m torn between the whole Maggie and the butcher scene (I will NOT read that at night, which is why it’s paused for me until tomorrow and I’ve switched to Hugh), and the dragon monster flying things that took Maggie at the end.
At the risk of embarrassing myself, I’ll try spelling it. Dursand? Duhrsand? Look, all my books are audio!! I don’t look these things up.
Anyway, I’m a big scaredy cat, so it doesn’t take much to spook me. I thought I heard a child crying in the playground outside my apartment a few nights ago and seriously considered for a minute there packing up and moving back to my home country, cuz nope!! Absolutely not! I will not, shall not, cannot!!
Definitely the flower that consumes the human in the edge series.
Strongest Halloween moment?
In Clue format:
The Otrokar shaman, in the back yard, with the Dead.
And once more, holding hands.
Spooky vibes?
Roman feeding his pets.
Scariest monster?
The corrupted ad-hal 🙂
The Undead Shaman Elara fights in Iron and Magic. Yuck! all that undead
I’m a fantasy guy, not a horror guy, so while I put forward the scene with Kate vs the immortal Viking skeleton (both versions) as my favorite spooky scene, it’s perfectly ok with me if the monster is more afraid of Kate than vice-versa.
None of House Andrews’ works to date have given me any if these feelings. If they had I would not be a member of the horde.I do not read horror these days. I did read Stephen King when I was young. I did not enjoy the nightmares and eventually saw the light. My country does not have a strong halloween traditiom. Some idiots probably interested in revenue streams have been encouraging it in recent years. It seems stupid to me that you would spend 364 days a year teaching your children not to accept food or drink from strangers and not to beg, especially not with menaces and then let them go out at night and trick or treat.I am not saying that you should change. You obviously enjoy it. It is your tradition. It is not mine.We have a colonial tradition of Guy Fawkes night with fireworks but no one that I know of has ever done “A Penny for the Guy”. Mostpeople do no make or burn a “Guy”There has been talk of banning “Guy Fawkes”because of the fire danger and spooked pets and encouraging Halloween but why exchange one dangerous thing for another. There will still be idiots who take it too far and wreck it for everybody. I am “Not at Home” on Halloween.I prefer the day after which is “All Saints Day.”
Hi Margaret, I’m writing from the US, and I’d be delighted if you’d move over here and run for Congress. We need some of your common sense over here. I loved your description of the nonsensical behavior of raising kids to not take/demand food from strangers – and then setting up an entire day where they put on scary masks and demand free food from strangers. Yep, somehow, alas, common sense is not an automatic download for humans … hopefully in future versions of Homo Sapiens, common sense will be part of the base kit. Smiles across the miles, Margaret – your comments are a reminder that our Mom Country is wise in many ways that did not make it across the ocean to this prodigal child country… but, we shall not digress into discussing that, as it’s a horror topic all its own.
The people soup.
Oh, ack!!! I’d managed to forget that. What a gross out! You are SO right, that was a serious gagger.
From the free short stories:
Rusalochka
It’s Only Forever (more horror than spooky but gives me chills)
Magic Stars
In Alphas: Origins from beginning to end my heart was in my throat for Karina & the children
Total agreement – the creepy motel they stop at and have to run from. This is definitely the freakiest – totally different but really good.
I don’t find anything super spooky in the HA books – but in The Inheritance – the initial build up to going into the breach was super tense for me. You just know something is going to happen and you just have to wait for the big Wham!
I made the mistake of starting the book in the morning with a cup of coffee. Oh my, the tension! No more coffee until I finished the book!
The creature in the lake that Catalina battles in the 2nd book really creeped me out. especially when it tried to impress her.
I haven’t read most of these other books people are talking about but in this Kingdom will not kill me whatever that creepy thing in the water is might be the scariest because we don’t know what it is. but horror movie scary definitely the butcher scene
Dushegubs sentient soulless trees uber creepy!
First Kate book. She looks up and the ceiling is covered in vamps.
the most “spooky” vibes book in my opinion was Derek and Julie’s short story. the whole “pregnant lady” bit still comes to mind this time of year
There was a short story from House Andrews from an earlier time. About a road trip and a stop at a bar and a dog in a truck and a creeepy bartender at the rest stop. That was freaky scary and gave me nightmares. I take solo road trips so this felt close to home.
The Red Stalker was super creepy. The water banshee monster thingies that came to Kate’s apartment window (sorry, I forget what they’re called!) were very Halloween vibes to me. And I’m glad the scene with Maggie and The Butcher wasn’t longer, it was scary.
If I had to pick 1 book as the most Halloween-esque tho, I’d go with Alphas. It gives “I don’t want to be here” feeling.
it’s funny, I’ve read all the books and House Andrews are my favorite authors, and I can’t say any of them really creeped me out until TKWNKM the scene with the Butcher and Maggie. was the first time i nearly put down a HA book and not go back. I survived it and have re-read a couple of times, but always skip over that part.
Back to the OG, nothing like a woman-eating rapist forest demon to creep you the fuck out. Pick literally ANY scene
Honestly the most outright horrifying scene I’ve read from them was the initial attack in the breach in Inheritance. It was really well done.
Agree
Sanctuary and Roman’s battle with the creepy priest.
I think the scariest scene that kept me on the edge of my seat was The Bridge fight scene in Magic Rises. Oh! The woman who ate children…Mrs…? That was probably more Halloween’s. 😉
Oh, let’s see… In no particular order:
1. The night Kate drove through the Flare. (who was in the wagon? Andrea?)
2. The battle in the bayou graveyard, when Cerise’s cousin revives everything and they have to put William in the box.
3. Aberdine.
4. Options from Burn for Me, but I think the trip to the mall takes the cake. Every single person Nevada and Rogan encounter is out to get them, and the cheerful daytime of it is just creepy.
5. The fountain in Grace of Small Magics.
6. The dojo where Meli finally breaks Celino. Absolute fire and ice, in the plainest of settings….
Roman’s house!
Creepiest creature – the corrupted creatures infecting the ad-hal.
Creepiest scene – Dina and Sean in the corrupted inn.
They did a short story once that was properly creepy. If I’m remembering correctly, it was a stop at a gas station during a road trip that turned bad. I don’t remember details (stupid brain) but I do remember being properly spooked.
Only forever 🙂 – it’s in free fiction, I linked it above.
The torture scene in TKWNKM, I suffered along with Maggie.
My creepiest Scene is in the Kate Daniels World.
In the last book of the Main story. When she investigates the disappearance of one whole settlement. All gone, everythings left standing in the houses. The dogs dead before they could bark. An then the remaining puddle. The ribbon of a Child…
It really gave me goosebumps and still does only thinking of it.
It is so good written. The suspense is rising and building up.
Obviously hidden legacy and the pit stripping humans of their flesh. The descriptions of the pit monsters and the brain stem always make me cringe.
I feel like the edge gets pretty intense and dark particularly in the later books.
And there are some graphic descriptions of kids going loupe (Julie and Maddie) that evoke the word “bulging” that feel very body horror to me.
Oh and the description of Bran’s eye flopping on his face.
For me, the most classic horror moment is the escape from the butcher in This Kingdom. In that I was metaphorically putting my hands over my eyes while I was reading that scene.
For spooky Halloween vibes I’d give it to Roman’s putting out the unwelcome mat scene in Sanctuary.
Definitely Bayou Moon, where Genevieve is being turned into a plant. It’s so creepy I can barely read it, such slow torture.
The weird and wondrous Unicorn Lane ! Going off topic are Ilona and Gordon going to write anymore on Julie : Aurelia . Would LOVE more , not desperate huh 😂 Know they are super busy but a story to tell ?
Great minds think alike. Same, I just finished it and I am in love with this new world!
Hello! I don’t know where I can get this answer so I figured best to start here. I literally just finished Blood Heir, LOVE IT! Will there be a second?
A sequel for Blood Heir is expected, but is not yet on the schedule. We would need Wilmington 3 first for it to fully land 🙂
As I just reread Elara‘s and Hugh‘s Story: the scene in which she rescues him from Roland would work. A power that terrifies even Hugh is Halloween worthy.
In Magic Breaks where the vampire horde was chasing Kate and team out of Mishmar: the superstructure maze prison building where the bones of her grandmother resided. It had the scary factor of a zombie movie for sure.
Kate Daniels – book one. The vampires! When the first one skittered over the ceiling. That still gives me goosebumps and Halloween 🎃 vibes!
I think the scene where Kate and Curran visited Roman, to ask him to marry them. It has the perfect Halloween vibe of very scary and yet somehow family friendly
Yes, if you’re talking a Halloween vibe in the US tradition, this is a really good example. For me it’s not super nerve-racking or horrific, but it’s very much on what I might call a Halloween wavelength.
When the Pied Piper of Houston sang his rats to devour Olivia Charles.
Magic Triumphs bk 10 with Teddy Jo and Kate finding the magic pond that was the remains of people and animals with no bones in it.
that scene was so horrible, a perfect way to lead into the big bad to come
The creepy hounds in The Edge. More specifically, the scene in the woods when Casshorn drinks from one and his hair slides off as he’s turning into one.
The Butcher eating as Maggie slowly sneaks up on him
Magic Bites. The entire Red Point Stalker case. It was my first House Andrews book
The Upir and his “children”, made my skin crawl.
You could feel the malevolence from the character, even doing a re-read of the series I tend to skip most of that book.
There are maybe five books that I have read in my life that stick out in my psyche to the extent that one does.
It introduced me to one of my favorite authors, but I was hesitant to start that second book.
+100 me too… took me several years to get back into the series…
Pretty much any scene with Roland. He puts the E in evil.
the entry into the red fort with the upir waiting
Gun Metal Magic. The entire book feels a bit spooky season but the scene with Roman losing the staff on the bridge after breaking Andrea out of the snake-lady’s shop was the start of steering into the spooky for me.
I read the Innkeepers Chronicles first and looked for more HA to read so I chose Kate Daniels. When I started reading and encountered the first vampire, I almost quit. It was too creepy imagining what they looked like!!! But I persisted and so it goes …. Big fan, love all the books, can’t w*it for more. HA books are my happy place!
Mishear as others have said, and especially the prison room with partially decayed corpses, skeletons and Nahmeea (sp?).
Mishmar
Book one, the scene with Oalathe where Kate realizes the ceiling is covered with vampires and they are all going to die. That gave me shivers.
The next is every scene in Mishmar, all those vampires gave me the ick shivers each time
Dina inside the dying inn 😬
the young dragon boy Yu Fong sold by his family, being kept in a cage and pieces cut off him to sell.
the god Moloch feeding off misery and burnt live sacrifices of babies.
the evil dragon Neig boiling everyone alive together.
rakshasa’s eating their own dead.
…. I’m sure there’s more!
Agreed!
One obvious choice for creepy is the whole book Alpha Origins
The creepy fuzzy crawling virus in KD- pretty sure it’s book 4.
For good Halloween spooks, This Kingdom Will Not Kill Me wins when Maggie frees Isadau from the creepy temple. She’s trying to complete a spell while the monster thing is battering at doors. It felt like a moment straight out of a good Halloween movie!
where Spider fused the mother with a plant. In the Edge Series
Since I just reread Catalina’s trilogy, I have to say The Abyss creature is one of the creepiest. When he creates an imitation of Catalina’s dog out of dead bodies, it gives me the creeps!
TKWNKM!!!
No one is going to reference what happened to Maggie in chapter 26??? That was a true horror scene!
I remember Unicorn Lane creeping me out, and then of course the corrupted innkeepers
Definitely Dali and Jim’s first adventure with the creepy house (trying not to spoil anything) and Dali looking through the sign in sheet and what she realizes and then Jim getting the same affliction! Agh! Spooky shivers! First time I read it I put the book down and had to go comfort myself because I was so scared. IA got the psychological horror just right with their adventures for me.
Here kitty, kitty…
Besides Dina finding herself in her undead childhood home, there are Roland’s Plague Bringers. They didn’t last long, but it would have been a hopeless horror ending without Dali.
2 scenes – Kate and the Pack go down to Unicorn Lane to face the vamp behind the murder of her guardian and she tries really hard not to look up, because she knows there are hundreds of vamps hanging on that ceiling which she Holds them in place long enough for the pack to escape . I know skipped a few parts. but knowing its there and just holding them so the rest of the work can get done, very Kate.
and I love Romans lawn ornaments, tell me that isn’t trick or treat material!!!!!
Good one, Karen! That whole episode was when Ada transformed from hunted to hunter.
First scene that immediately popped into my head was from Magic Bleeds, when Venom infects the Pack safehouse and everyone inside goes loup. Every time I read it, it gives me this creeping sense of horror and dread. The dread starting when Kate can’t reach the safehouse by phone, then finds Dali outside saying the whole place feels wrong. The sense of horror building as Kate walks through the building room by room and pieces together the story of what happened. And finally, the emotional gut punch of grief and despair when Kate finds the litter girl gone loup and has to put her down. The whole scene is is horrifying and so sad at the same time. That caustic mix of terror, sadness, and inevitability that just made me want to bury my head under a pillow and not watch what I knew was coming. A masterclass of a scene, so well done.
I have a bug phobia so multiple scenes from The Inheritance gave me anxiety. Catalina encountered the bugs with Alessandro and that was terrifying. The vampires on the ceiling…shudder. I agree, the corrupted Innkeepers/Ad hals and associated contamination was creepy with demonic overtones. When that contamination was moving through the Inn, my anxiety peaked. Some of the creatures summoned in Hidden Legacies were terrifying. The Saito construct was horrifying. The various mages that could attack minds would terrify me.
I think when Kate et al are in Mishmar trying to fight their way out of the horde of vamps and find the skeleton of Kate’s grandma gave me the most Halloween spooky feeling.
My creepiest spots in the stories:
1. Innkeeper Chronicles – the corrupted Adhal
2. Kate Daniels World – the Honeycomb or whatever that weird place where people could get trapped in the shifting walls was called. And, that creeping disease growing on people that Kate’s aunt unleashed on Atlanta.
3. The Edge – evil spider who spliced people with plants and bugs
4. Breach Wars- the first time read of anything ready to jump out at Ada and Bear
Nothing spooky to me in Hidden Legacy or Kinsmen, but I haven’t read Maggie the Undying yet.
Sweep of the Blade. When the grey vampire bartender pulls the rifle out of the sack. The last four words of the sentence “with a hand still attached” startled me and gave me a true creepy moment.
Chapter 8 of One Fell Sweep. The rogue innkeeper, still not dead, still a threat. Gave me the creeps.
The people soup when Thanatos was distraught. That bad guy (dragon guy who corrupted babies into monsters) had nothing cute about him.
Children, or anyone, going loop. Scary!
The “Pit” in Emerald Blaze. Very on the edge of your seat and if it was on the movie screen always watched between your fingers.
IMO, HA books generally aren’t all that scary because anything that would be scary generally gets sliced to ribbons in the next couple of pages. Many of the opponents you run into could star in a horror novel, but you’d need protagonists that are far less deadly if you want to actually get that horror novel feel.
I am thinking of the scene from Gunmetal Magic.
Andrea is investigating for Cutting Edge Investigations a series of murders involving snake people. She goes into an apothecary/herbalist style shop and is ambushed by venomous snake people (worshippers/minions associated with the ancient snake god Apep) who manage to capture her. They were scary/spooky characters.
Roman & his nechists (creepy but adorable ) 🤗
Neig… The Walmart parking lot. The liquid puddle of cloths and hair. Gives me the absolute creeps. Somethings you can’t unread. Eeeeep…………
That damn adhal Dead Michael creeping around in his innkeeper robe trying to suck the life out of anything, including the inn. That whole section of creepiness, and the dying inn on that gassy killer planet with the crazed creeper orchestrating the death of inns … damn, I’m SO uncomfortable with that, and the whole situation has been hanging unresolved for so long, gives me the wigglin’ wombats just to think about it. I’m SO grateful House Andrews has given us some truly kick ass good moments since leaving that sh*tpile in distress hanging, we got Roman and his new lady friend kicking arse and not bothering to take names, and we got The Inheritance, and a whole new set of seriously intimidating good guys and one fabulous perimenopausal mom ready to burn the world to protect the innocent. Damn, House Andrews, I’m dropping to one knee here and taking off my winter beret in a flourishing swoop, ’cause y’all do it, so well.
I find the sentient homicidal plants extra creepy. Dush bugs? Also, the zombified Innkeepers.
The wendigo that attacked Ascanio.
Derek and Julie’s side quest with the zombie bog things. Yuck
Spooky is our lovely half vampire child with knives riding the shoulders of our resident werewolf through trick or treating!
I’m a little surprised no else has mentioned the scene where Maggie is running to the garden. The writing makes it feel so real and she knows if she doesn’t get there in time no one will help her. Though I do agree that the corrupted innkeeper, the upir and his son, and the girl on the cruise ship are really creepy.
I know you asked for creepy, but I love all the ‘creepy’ critters that hang around Roman! We all know they are evil enough but still, so darn cute how they cling to Roman.
most “spooky” potetial scenes are in KD but bcz we view them from Kates perspective we aren’t scared.
The most spooky scene for me was the first time visiting Unicornlane
You’re right, House Andrews is full of creepy creatures and yet I’ve almost never gotten creeped out. Probably the most disturbing moment/creature for me were the loups in Kate Daniels, don’t remember which book, but when Erra attacks with her golem and some wolves go loup and Kate enters the wolf house to put them down. Reading the scene wasn’t as disturbing as listening to it on Graphic Audio though *shudders*
I’d say Retribution Clause
Mishmar, I think, is genuinely terrifying to me–the wrongness, the way Kate nearly dies, the absolute unhinged infinitely power of it…
The black banshee and white warlock! “Bring the cows.”
So…how’s I&M2 coming along? No pressure 😉
meeting the beast lord in a run down house and whispering here kitty kitty was somewhat spooky, but the villain of that first Kate book with his victims on the wall of the prison, his bone dragon, his creepy children, and creepier threats towards Kate were definitely shiver inducing.
The inheritance- the wasps stealing the herders eggs
Elara saving Hugh
Spider and his crew were legit creepy as hell in the Edge books. What they did to Sophie’s mom was scary and heartbreaking. More recently the Dog Market Butcher gives serious slasher movie vibes.
Spider and the Hand agents. Fusing of Genevieve. Lots of creepy moments in the Edge series. The corrupted Inn and corrupted inn keepers. The Upir! The spider old lady that ate the deputy. How Erra and Roland’s siblings were done in. So many.
This Kingdom, the weird ripple in the air that ate corpses and possibly living people that we still have no idea what it is
I agree. That’s a big one.
Maybe because I’m listening to the Innkeeper series on Graphic Audio, I think it’s the AdHul. Pretty sure I misspelled this because brain is done with this month, but the Horde will know what I mean!
The corrupted inn keepers were the creepiest!
The first time Kate met Curran! I was pretty nervous and the she said, “Here, Kitty, kitty, kitty.” Wow!
The first time Kate visited the witches was pretty creepy. Especially having to walk inside a giant turtle.
Lots of the firsts with Kate until we realize what a complete BADASS she is. I love rereading her books.
The beginning of Alphas: Origins. I had to stop reading it. The only HA I e. Ever finished.
Meant never finished.
Hmmm. The Lighthouse Keepers. Fanatics masquerading as normal and then just up and mass murdering people. Creepy af.
I have two favorite creepy monsters. I found the Joromugo that Dali defeated in Magic dreams really creepy (I mean, who doesn’t hate spiders!!??)
The second is another from Kate Daniel’s world and I can’t remember which book-the enemy who knew whatever scared you the most and brought it to life to kill you! I remember a car with a mind of its own and a fear of small gnome like creatures. All were brought forth to allow the son of a deceased owner of a building that had an active liquor license for a strip club in Atlanta that had been subdivided into individual stores that none of the current owners wanted to sell.
I hope this helps! Thank you for many days of great reading!! I don’t know how you do it, but I love it all. I have all your books and re-read them almost annually. Am looking forward to Maggie 2. Can’t wait to hear Klaus’s story from Innkeeper series and Julie (Aurelia) & Derek’s realization that their lives were meant to be spent together. Also want to meet Conlan’s little sister. (Yes, I just finished re-reading Kate Daniel’s world…ALL OF THEM!)
There were a lot of terrifying creatures and moments in HA books, which many people already mentioned.
One scene in KD stands out as a super horror for me. Kate was shown the vision of her possible future where her father impaling her infant son while she could not run fast enough to save him.
I was really curling up in my blanket during the scene in This Kingdom Will Not Kill Me when Maggie is kidnapped, what happens and what the mace is used for. I don’t want to go into detail in case someone hasn’t read it yet. My daughter and I went to the museum weekend last. While in the medieval weapons room I saw a mace. I had a dream about it that night. Definitely a huge EEK! factor for me.
I forgot my second one! I purchased the entire audio set on Innkeeper Chronicles. If you haven’t listened to them performed by Graphic Audio you’re missing out. When Dina is facing the corrupt inkeeper in the dying inn is a horrifying moment.
The scenes that haunt me are usually the gruesome ones, like the end of Kate Daniel’s book one when there are dead bodies in the window. Or the guy who stood there smiling when he burned up. or, you have to picture it because it wasn’t scary but imagine IRL… Andrea pregnant, covered in gore, eating a magical bull. Also the guy that got killed and infected, covered with fuzzy stuff that was moving, Ugh! I would be walking quickly the other way in these and many many more in all the books.
By far the creepiest scene imho is Kate Daniels Book 1, site of the upir Bono’s lair. I had trouble getting through that and it scares the dookey outta me with every re-reading.
Umm, on subject but not. . . What does Kate and Curran do for Halloween/Samhain? Does Curran answer the door partially shifted? Or does he guard a bowl of candy and make all the kids try to steal their treats? Do trick or treaters come to the door at the Inn? And what do they get if they do? Does the Edge celebrate the holiday with a party in the swamp? Does are favorite volhv send his minions to the end of the lane to hand out treats so none of the kids fall into the yard? And if they do fall into the yard, do the skeletons just scoop them up and gently set them back on the path to the front door?
Just wondering. . 😉
+1
For spooky, I always think of Iron and Magic with the scenes for Elara’s magic where she unleashes it. I think that the Iron Covenant is one of the grittier series, and I LOVE it so much!
I must make this comment. It is wet and dreary in far west Texas from the hurricane in Mexico. We are not as bad off as New Mexico. My neighbors have several skeletons among the decorations they have. It reminded me of the dreary Christmas in Roman’s yard in Sanctuary. Why not erect a fir tree and stuff it with odds and ends and place a manikin with bloody jeans with a wreath on its head, garlands tying it to the tree, and a cookie with sprinkles stuck in its bloody mouth.
Finally remember to check how the House Andrew and Horde was doing, just staying away from internet.
Sorry, as a Stephen King fan I don’t find any horror or creepiness or even spooky in any of the books or series. My highest level is stuck at Pet Semetary.
The Upir’s children on Kate ‘ s verandah in the first KD book was one of the creepiest!
the first Kate Daniels book with the creepy guy with the animal skeletons who wanted to eat and or breed with Kate. suuuuper creepy
It wasnt on the first few reads. But at some point book 1 of Kate got creepy for me. I think knowing who the bad guy was and how long he had been stalking/lusting after Kate started giving me the shivers. Especially when he left minions in her yard to watch her or brought out his son to meet her.
What immediately came to mind was Elara in several scenes, when she starts actively using her power to defend the castle, and the scene before she rescues Hugh. But a second one is the discussion in the book where Lark is stuck in the hole with the man who tried to SA her and she had to stay in there with the dead body for days. That one gave me bad dreams
For me it’s the first time Kate goes to see Curran – “here kitty kitty” scene- and his slow transformation in the dark and light of the moon. loooove it so spooky
Mishmar is the ultimate haunted house. That whole scene scared the crap out of me. Cannibalistic vampires, lethal plants growing out of the carpet swamp, chunks of different buildings stacked and smashed together…
/shudder
That gave me big yikes.
The spookiest for me is probably Kate keeping Vampire heads in her fridge for consultation. So grotesque in such a casual way.
I’m late… But it’ll be Elara. She’s the one person I’ve been terrified of. Everyone else is a monster, but one I could rationalize.
Honorable mention to the scene, very first thing in _Magic Binds_ (KD9), where Kate and Curran approach Roman’s house (since he’s been unreachable by phone) to ask if would officiate at their wedding. I enjoyed their commentary on the deliberate creepiness. Plus u know Roman isn’t playing and that they will b trying not to kill his monsters/mess up his security arrangements. But then Roman’s there in his pjs, and all is well. For me it hits just the right balance. Honestly, I just love that scene.
Maggie’s scene with the serial killer is up there. Dina’s encounters with the corrupted ad-hals and the devastation of Magnolia Green have elements of horror, too. Then there’s the Edge.
However, Kate’s tales probably contain the spookiest and most visceral moments (which were fun! …if also slightly disturbing, in hindsight):
1. Meeting her grandmother’s ghost has big Halloween vibes, even though Semiramis predates Samhain by a LOT. Grandma even played a “trick” by preventing everyone but Kate from crossing that bridge (at first), and then she gave Kate a “treat,” a new sword made from her metallic-coral bones! Sarrat beats Skittles & tootsie rolls, as spooky treats go.
2. Kate witnessing Roman possessed by Chernobog for a friendly conversation in which he casually requests a consecrated field of human sacrifices.
3. Kate draining the blood from loup-Julie to purify it with her own, then gazing at the floating glowing ball of red and getting lost in the magic of it, until “a voice” (cough, Roland) asks Kate what she’s going to do with it and points out her kid is gonna die if she doesn’t put the blood back.
4. The body horror that is the gross berserker warp mode of the Morrigan’s late employee, Bran. Something about his eyeballs… Curran was unimpressed. (Also, the water-wraiths coming after Julie’s monisto/lid had high creep factor.)
5. Entering the house of “Venom’s party,” where members of clan wolf have been poisoned/gone loup after being attacked by Erra’s flesh golem, was pretty horrific and Halloweeny: you’ve got werewolves, body horror, black fluids oozing everywhere, dying kids scratching glass, and more.
6. Andrea slays gigantic insect monsters in her apartment building, down in the creepy basement.
7. Julie literally rips out an avatar’s god-like magical eyeball and sticks it into her own eye socket & skull. That was pretty brutal. Kickass, but still gross! 😀
See, plenty of non-Halloween Halloweeny content to go around! …yet the BDH will never say no to a Samhain snippet. We are greedy but patient.
The bunnycat. Strawberries and bacon diet?
Now it is probably sickenly cute but that is just wrong.
Mishnar — no notes. Wait I take that back, grandma’s bones excepted