On Saturday, Gordon, Kid 2, and I snuck into the Armadillocon as regular attendees to see Jessie Mihalik, who was one of the panelists on Impostor Syndrome Panel. Jessie wrote an interesting article about it.
She’s right that imposter syndrome doesn’t go away with success. I’ve talked before about the golden carrot. A rider sits on the donkey holding a fishing pole. Dangling from the pole is the golden carrot. The donkey wants the carrot, so he moves forward, but no matter how hard he walks, the carrot is always right in front of him and out of reach.
At first, you want to get an agent, then you want a contract, then you want to hit a list, then you want to hit higher on a list… The goalposts of success keep moving, which always keeps you feeling like you’re falling short. Especially if you borrow another writer’s goalposts. That way lie dragons.
My mother once told me that I shouldn’t wish for other people’s lives or their success, because you never know what kind of problems they have and what that success cost them. I understood the value of this advice when I watched a bestselling author break down in a bathroom at a convention because she didn’t hit high enough on NYT and now she thought she was in danger of losing her next contract. I think we had two books out at this point, and that was really unsettling, because I thought she was on a level we would be deliriously happy to reach, and yet here she was crying her eyes out in between panels.
It’s now years later. We’ve achieved some success in writing, but if I look around, I’m sure I can find another writer whose sales or achievements will make me feel like a failure. So if you’re stuck in that loop, remember, your career is not a race against other people. Are you happy? Are you meeting your own needs? That’s all that matters.
But the other aspect of imposter syndrome is rooted in the very nature of writing itself. Writing – all art, really – is about communication. It evokes emotions; it tries to resonate in some way. Sometimes it evokes love. We want to keep reading, we want to keep looking, we want to keep listening. Sometimes it repels and disturbs instead. As long as it makes you feel something.
Writing is the same. If you are writing a sequel to a hit, you worry if it would resonate with those who were touched by the original. And writing something new is even more scary, because you have no idea if that communication will happen in the way you intended. If you have never shown your writing to anyone, the doubt and fear can be crippling.
But the need to communicate is compulsive, so writers carry on. If you feel like a failure this morning for whatever reason, if you feel like you didn’t earn the success, if you suspect that you might be a fraud, remember, there is a whole bunch of people out there who are floating alone on their little boats in the same bleak sea. It looks like a sea, but it’s really just a puddle. You can step out of your boat and walk to shore.
Those last two sentences I am going to have to hold on to for awhile. It’s a good reminder. Thank you for sharing your struggles with the golden carrot.
Same
Yup
+1
“Are you happy? Are you meeting your own needs? That’s all that matters.” Thank you for reminding me of that.
amen
+1
Thank you. That resonated with me.
The last paragraph literally made me gasp. Knowing others feel the same takes some of the weight off.
I work in a lab with a group of massively smart women. I found my dream job late in my career so the feelings I have around this are very real. Thank you for this really awesome post. ☺️💗
There’s a great line in the recent film Yesterday where Jack, the main character, finds John Lennon, the films version where nobody knows the Beetles and John lives to old age. Jack asks 78 year old John if he’s lead a good life. John tells him that he lead a happy life. Jacks says but not a successful one. John retorts that he said happy, that means successful. I love that scene and the sentiment. Here it is in case anyone’s interested. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ONU_H0EjIg
That was great. The film clip touched my heart. I can’t wait to show it to my husband; he is napping. 🙂 We are in our late 70’s and we have lived our lives as a couple since our late teens. We aren’t famous or rich, but we have sufficient for our needs and we are happy.
Thank you for the link!
What a mix of emotions at seeing a very convincing elderly John open the door. Still, I’d like to picture a happy John Lennon in an alternate universe, living to an age our John was robbed of seeing.
I knew I liked you and Ilona as people, now I have another one, good taste in movies ( I wonder if Kate MacKinnon as the deranged agent reminded you of anyone around publishing? lol). The problem with success is it is a soap bubble floating in the air, it is just tangible enough to see but always just us out of reach, and when you do grab it it kind of disappears.
when I worked at one of my prior jobs I got to know the COO a bit. He and his wife had this kind of weird competition, to see who made more money each year. One year their son died in a rock climbing accident. I wondered if that changed their perspective at all..not judging, just truly wondering.
My wife and I put a lot of ourselves and our resources into our son, who from a young age had a passion for music. It involved huge amounts of financial and time commitments, sacrificing a lot of what people consider normal things. It will never bring the kind of rewards that lets say being an investment banker would bring, we live modestly and will into retirement ( if we get there),but the success is he is part of a unique classical string quartet that has established itself and bringing joy and beauty into the world. He will never be rich, but it is his passion and love, and watching him share it with an audience, when he speaks to the audience, that is success to us.On the other hand, they deal with imposter syndrome, too, where they worry about audiences/ presenters liking them, critics and juries in competitions that dont like their style,etc ( funny story about critics/ juries, my sons group recently did their last competition. They didn’t do well, likely bc they play ‘American style’s& jury were all European who hate that..anyway there was a new composition for the competition..another group won the prize for that. meanwhile, the composer loved their version of it, enough that he asked them to record an album of his pieces including this one.
Thanks for the reminder! That’s a wonderful scene from the film.
I’m in the process of re-defining or maybe reframing what security is for me, as I transition to a senior facility with multiple levels of care. It used to mean controlling my environment so I would be ok and get my needs met. But I’m learning it doesn’t work that way (so maybe I’m a slow learner). I’m feeling my way toward trusting the universe that I will be ok, and that no matter what happens, I can handle what’s to come.
This came at the right time for me. As someone who recently took the leap of sharing their writing by self-publishing, the imposter syndrome is REAL. And has only been getting worse with the lack of feedback. Thank you for giving me some much needed perspective.
🤍✨
There is always someone with more than you no matter how much you have. And there is always someone who has less than you, no matter the depths to which you have fallen. So never compare yourself with anyone. Your journey is yours alone.
Wow, you are not alone, but even getting out of the boat has its own risks, I have a genuine talent for finding sinkholes.
I also have a talent for thinking about what I want to say way after the blogs have moved on, can I respond to the Stabby, stabby post? I recently saw a post from Patty Briggs where she commented that she had been stuck at a point in her next book, she said she had too many characters to follow and solved her problems by killing them off, too which fans replied in horror, No, don’t kill my friends!!
Somehow your post title reminded me of her solution, are you killing people?
oh well, I know you got this, and you have a whole refrigerator full of carrots, now for the rutebegga! Love and hugs to you, and thank you for sharing your lives, your posts and books are a good portion of my joy and escape, by the way, I am waiting anxiously for Maggie, and still rooting for Puffles, as well as all the other books hiding in your collective minds.
Yes, we are killing people, but they are all bad.
The fact that this cheers me up immensely probably says more about how my day went than anything 😂
😂🥰
I remember a piece written by Mark Twain that was appended to one of his stories. He talked about the characters in the story and not knowing what to do with all of them. He thought of having the excess fall into the well in the backyard but it got too full.
Love that you are channeling your inner Arnold from True Lies … 🙂
Bad people need to die. No problem.
Are they really that bad? We all thought Hugh was the worst til y’all redeemed him. Lol 😁
Boy isn’t that true! I never thought I could like that character, but I was so wrong.
Have to save this -or print it! – and read it daily.
Thank you – from a costumist seamstress always thinking of not being enough for a job!
Imposter syndrome is definitely a thing, and not just as a writer but in any career. I find ageing helps me, as I simply care less. But oh would I ever love to hug/shake/console/scold me from 20-30 years ago – so much time wasted on worrying what other people would think of me… Ah well, I’m pretty sure that’s just life. And I probably wouldn’t even listen to myself anyway 😂
So so true. Impostor syndrome hasn’t disappeared but the impact has lessened. Someone said to never compare your insides to someone else’s outsides. I have to remind my nephew of that regularly but I’ve taken it more on board over time.
I also have found that my ambition has, I don’t know, waned, as I’ve gotten older.
My best friend was offered a job that was a lateral move with the opportunity to move up but the downsides of the job were significant for her. She asked me if I thought she was a failure because she didn’t feel the need to “progress” in her career. She is the farthest you can be from a failure.
I told her I felt the same way. I once thought I’d be a general counsel at a small company by now. These days, I am two levels down from that in a large company and I have everything I need to be happy – money, some semblance of security and flexibility to help my mom.
Age changes the game in corporate America – both for good and ill. I may have a harder time finding a new job at 57 but I find I can more clearly see what I actually need in a job to be happy.
I wish emotional and psychological peace to House Andrews. The BDH has your back.
I am a game designer for an MMORPG. I am the only female on the team, and I am one of the most recent hires. However, I had been running a fansite for the game since the game’s launch 19 years ago, and have been very active in the game and the community for years. I am THE expert on their crafting system, and one of the people most connected to the community. I whimpered about imposter syndrome to a teammate who was teaching me some of the behind-the-scenes coding for a quest that I was writing and he, who had been with the team for many years and was someone I massively looked up to, told me he dealt with it all the time. That was a real eye-opening moment for me, and I now try to push my self-doubts into a corner when they hit.
<3
I’m locally saving the last part for myself when I feel lost. This post (and Jessie Mihalik’s too) spoke to me in ways I can’t describe. I suffer from impostor syndrome in my career, and have expressed it multiple times to my husband. This is very helpful for when I’m drowning in my own thoughts.
Everyone has it and no one talks about it. Everyone is sitting in their own boat in the shallow puddle. Remember to value the things that you do and don’t let people take you for granted. I’m sure you are brilliant. After all, you are a member of the BDH!
Thank you.
This was deep. As I was reading, it occurred to me this lesson applies to more than writing. Thank you for taking the time to share your experiences. We all are uplifted.
I love reading your blog because you’re grounded adults who find happiness in your job AND in things outside your job. You have successfully raised children to be functional adults and decent human beings while kicking butt at your career, and as someone in that process while chasing my own success far beyond what poor kid me could ever dream I value the humor, insight, grace, and humility. and as a bonus you share pictures of animals.
y’all deal with life really well and I am loving it. thanks for sharing all of your worlds!
+1 Well said!
I don’t recall any personal problem with imposter syndrome. I have, all my life that I can remember, been blessed with occasional fits of objectivity. I know what I am, and my life is what I’ve made it.
On the other hand, in the course of my working life, I have held many a graduate student’s hand through them getting their dissertation done. I have just been forcefully reminded of several of them.
+100!
Life lessons. This can apply to everything and anything. We should all keep this in our minds and hearts. Thank you.
Interesting article on imposter syndrome! And I can certainly see it affecting people strongly. I’ll have to find out if my hard charging “successful” friends had those insecurities. Not being artistically inclined nor an A type personality, I think I can honestly say I’ve never felt it. Looking back, my biggest worry was just finding jobs that would pay the bills. I spent too many years working on grant money projects and having to move to new jobs and being in debt to worry about much of anything else. There’s much to be said for the boring and financially stable job I found at age 42! Absolutely no growth potential, but flexible hours and good benefits go a long long way to provide happiness. I retired there.
I’m waving at you from my little boat, friends. And it’s always a delight when our boats cross paths! 💕
*Waving back* 😁🛶
I think the hardest part about imposter syndrome is that you are the only one that can solve it. No amount of outward validation will help because you’re the one with the moving goalpost. You’re the one marking the comparisons. You’re the one who has to step out of the boat.
100% this
Thank you, I really needed to hear this today.
This is great and i loved reading it <3
I am not a writer but a single mom with a learning disables child and one of the best messages i got about being a mom and a failure for my sons is:
Popcorn is prepared in the same pot, in the same heat, in the same oild and yet… the kernels do not POP at the same time. Dont compare your child to others. their time to POP is coming.
I feel this is someting that can be applied to many differnt things <3
I don’t have all the right words for it, but if you’re in your child’s corner and trying for them, you are as far from a failure as you can be! *hugs*
Two quick thoughts that hit my alleged brain, one from JM’s blogpost, one from IA:
JM’s comment about pain scales (which are, and always were, BS promoted by the pharmaceutical companies to sell more drugs—I am a retired MD, I’ve seen the consequences) reminds me of Doolittle asking Kate how much pain she is in, her response being a fairly low number… and his response, basically, “Oh, great. Another hard case.”
The second is: I would like to see someone try the carrot trick with Cuddles.(Kate wouldn’t; she has better sense.)
Kate just eats the carrot in front of Cuddles. No attempts to bribe, Cuddles has to go for it.
Just wanted to say that this post came at the perfect time for me… I was freaking out because I’m getting put onto another team at work to help “fix” their issues. My boss and some senior people put me in a room and were talking all this hype about how they need my expertise etc, and meanwhile I’m looking around for the adult who is gonna come along and make sure I don’t screw it up.
Reading this post kicked me in the brain and made me realize that I was spiraling in my own head about it and I just need to step back and take it one thing at a time.
All that to say… Thanks for this!
I totally understand this very well. After making my mind up to not compare myself to my older siblings, I put my horse blinders on, I put one foot in front of the other, and did what I wanted to do.
Now when I look back at everything I’ve done so far, I shake my head, and just keep on going. At work, I’m right where I need to be. People ask me if I want a promotion, and I say not really. 😎
Why are people always so surprised though when you say “actually, I’m happy where I am”?! I was lucky I found my dream job early on, but after a few years people would say “so when are you moving up” and then sort of be confused (or worse, look at you pityingly) when you say you don’t intend to? They tell you to be ambitious, but if you say your ambition is to develop your skills in this job, that doesn’t count or something?
Bit of a rant, but your comment struck a cord 😅 Don’t worry, I’m _still_ happy in my job and totally following my plan of growing horizontally within the company, not vertically 😉
I was always fortunate enough to have jobs that I enjoyed.
When it got to the point where people might have criticized me for lack of ambition (I wanted a personal life, thank you), I was in my last job and working for a man that nobody else could get him to fill out any paperwork properly. He finally figured out that if he didn’t do it properly, I would stand next to him at his desk till he did. Nobody else was willing to do that.
Well, I’ve always liked “Fake it until you Make it”; I can only control myself, my attitude and dislike it when I begrudge someone else who is doing well, try very, very hard not to begrudge or be jealous. I am, if nothing else, a work in progress.
As another work in progress, I think that being one is better than stagnating, which seems to me to be the alternative. At least that is what I think when I’m not chasing my own tail . . . 😉
My take on imposter syndrome has always been along the lines of:
“I’m not who these people believe me to be. I don’t deserve these accolades. I didn’t do anything special. I’m not anyone extra special.”
It’s not humility it’s a failure to know your own self’s worth, to identify those area in which you are special, and to believe in yourself. I feel that imposter syndrome can be a devastating path to depression and may need to be delt with professionally.
Been there. Done that. Good luck.
Wow, this post couldn’t have come at a better time, especially the last two lines. There were a significant number of lay-offs at my company and I made it through with a job still but I picked up projects from three different people that are in areas I’ve never supported. I now have twenty projects and three programs and half of them are brand new technology/functional areas for me. I’ve been an I.T. Project Manager for over thirty years now and I feel like I’m just starting out and know nothing. I literally had a meeting right before reading this post that when the Zoom ended, I put my head on my desk and thought “I’m a total idiot”. I feel like the duck gliding across the water looking so calm on the surface but paddling like mad under the water. I keep waiting for someone to point out I’m a fraud. Thanks for helping me regain some perspective.
That’s rough. Good luck! You can do it!
Been there, done that…
I’ve doubted myself my entire life (thanks mom).
People kept assigning me stuff and I’d muddle through, one step at a time.
I never thought I did very well. I kept moving those goal posts.
Now, retired for 3 years, I look back and realize I created amazing things and solved really hard problems. Never realized at the time.
So, step out of the boat, and take one step at a time, and you’ll get there.
All the best to you.
Brilliant comment on the conundrum of ‘I’m/it’s never enough’, when you look to outside validation. Which, when making a living as a writer, is intrinsic to success.
That kind of stress would do me in.
You honestly have such a healthy perspective. I know it takes work and time to get there. Thank you for always keeping it real. I’m in my 50s and it’s a work in progress in every aspect of my life. I love When someone articulates when I feel
Thanks for this reminder
This reminds me of “Bag Lady Syndrome”, the fear of successful women that some disaster will befall them and leave them destitute on the streets.
Wait. This is an actual thing?! It’s plagued me for years, I’m running to the research! Thank you for mentioning it.
I’ve heard of that syndrome. It made some women I knew so afraid that they just stayed stuck where they were at and didn’t move on. Very sad.
Then they got mad at me when I took a chance to do something that was successful.
Ah, that’s another fun one – the crab bucket… 🙈
Thanks for this. I needed that reminder today. <3
https://www.tumblr.com/neil-gaiman/160603396711/hi-i-read-that-youve-dealt-with-with-impostor
A nice story about my other favorite author dealing with imposter syndrome.
That was great! Thanks for sharing!
Yes, I usually feel this at seminars when the presenters talk about all the wonderfully creative lessons that you can try with your students. I usually come away from it wondering if I am an awful Speech Pathologist for not spending hours everyday coming up with incredible lessons.
Such a sensible post and the best way to look at things 🙂 🙂
I needed this today. Thank you!
Dangit, I knew I should have popped up to Armadillocon this year.
This reminds me of the introduction day for my masters degree cohort, which my acceptance into I so firmly believed had been a mistake that I was shaking in my seat, when our lead instructor grabbed the mic, and said, “How many of you think you’re here because of some terrible mistake?” 450 hands raised immediately to the sky, including mine, and most of the teachers including the lead instructor. Then she smiled and said, “There was no mistake. Everyone here deserves to be here, and what you’re feeling is ‘Imposter Syndrome’ and if you start to feel like you’re drowning, look to the people around you and come talk to us. We all have it.” First day in my MLIS program and I cried.
Imposter syndrome is something I still struggle with. In my case, as a techie, it’s a feeling of panic whenever I’m handed a new task at work before I remember that I’ve already done many like it. It’s a feeling of embarrassment and wishing I could shush my boss every time he introduces me as an expert. It’s a literal grating effort to try keeping the desperate word vomit in, because I need to tell this new person that I’m not as expert as they think. It never ends, no matter how many times I’ve proved to myself that I could answer all the new person’s questions. I wish you all luck with it because I still struggle with it all the time.
*insert heart emoji here*
I very much needed to hear this today. Thank you!
I suspect some of us have more Imposter Syndrome the older we get. I don’t know if it’s been life events, or what have you, but the older I get, the less I’m SURE I know.
You guys write lovely books I am always happy to read. I like ’em all!
Ooooo. That last sentence gave me goose bumps! Thanks for the wisdom.
Cheers, Faith
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ This really resonated with me, thank you.
I think Imposter Syndrome can be found in almost any aspect of life, whether trying to quantify success or happiness. People are constantly comparing themselves to others or trying to live up to an ideal they see on social media…but as always, your well articulated perspective is appreciated! 😊
The same is true with paychecks. The bigger the paycheck, the bigger the bills, so you never quite feel like you’re getting ahead.
*You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy*. Not my quote and not quite sure who it belongs to but I love it.
I love my authors who share and BDH support group for imposter syndrome. While I hate that we all struggle with this, I’m glad I’m not alone.
In my art and my hobbies, I’ve always told myself: Do Not compare yourself to others. Let their abilities be a guide, but a guide only. As long as you do your best, be happy with yourself. You’ve succeeded.
Thank you for sharing this topic and your experiences with us. I had not heard the phrase of Imposter Syndrome till freshman orientation for our daughter this summer. They said it can be a big deal for kids leaving home. Thanks again!
Thanks for the reminder.
I have suffered from imposter syndrome my entire life. It wasn’t particularly helped by a puritan moral ethic and parents striving for perfection from their children. I can tell you that even after having articles published by an international syndicate and nationally known newspapers including the Boston Globe, I will forever hear a parent’s voice saying yes, but why not the Chicago Tribune.
As I am facing my own mortality in the relatively near future (the joy of cancer – but there’s no time stamp on my foot), I can tell people I have learned how to be happy anyway. We must all have something to do – hopefully a passion that fuels you. (Can be a job, a hobby, volunteer work.) You must have people to love (not always biological family) and you must have something to hope for (or look forward to). If you have all three, you can be happy.
Your achievements are amazing, don’t listen to that voice. Wishing you lots of “happy”!
So many hugs to you!!! I really, really needed to read this….this morning. It made me tear up. Thank you for sharing some sound words!! I’m going to put them up on my work desk 😊😘🤗
I love this post. Thank you.
Thank you.
Wow. I guess I needed that.
Neil Gaiman has a great story about impostor syndrome. He was at some event, chatting with a table mate, and they were bonding over both being named Neil. The other Neil confessed he felt out of place, because so many successful people were there. Gaiman replied something like “Well, you were the first man on the moon, you have that going for you.”
I really needed this today. I have just started a new job as a legal assistant (yay!) for government (yay!!!) and I am really happy about it—and at the same time, I am a person with a law degree, got called to the bar and everything, and decided not to be a lawyer. Most of the time I’m fine with this, but I just saw ANOTHER person I know from law school (how can there be so many here? Law school was in a different city even??) and I keep feeling awkward and like I failed or gave up, because they’re working as lawyers and I’m not.
But I made the right choice for me. I know that.
Also I keep reminding myself of the time I met a former lawyer who quit to raise goats and all the other lawyers were super envious. Didn’t even try to hide it, just flat out admitted they wished they could do that too. (They pretended they were joking, but in that way where you can tell they actually mean it.)
There’s nothing wrong with being an assistant and if they look down on me for it then they suck and I don’t like them anyway.
I feel better 🙂
Guy I know locally is literally one of the founders of the internet. He was involved in the design and implementation of some of the original hardware and software that built the network that eventually turned into the internet. Well known in the field. He retired and started his dream job, running a sheep farm. A well connected sheep farm, but a sheep farm nonetheless.
See. You can’t just drop that here without details. Lots of yarn folks here.
Sheep like for dairy? Fiber? Meat? I need to know more about the sheep!!!!
Thank you so much for sharing! This theme and it’s sibling “Recognizing my value and successes” have been popping up a lot over the last couple weeks. Both your and Jessie’s perspective have given me tools and helped me realize that I am not alone in this.
Thank you 💗
My brain says “but surely some people ARE more qualified than others to do/say certain things.”
Well, it’s true. I guess we need to know whether we tend to overestimate our abilities or underestimate them. I agree that another person’s perspective helps.
Also audiences matter. I am certainly not qualified to speak about philosophy to a bunch of phil. professors, but I am (with an MA on the subject) to a bunch of high schoolers, or adults who have very little idea on philosophy etc. I wouldn’t want to lecture Ilona Andrews on writing but I could to someone who just wants to get one book written!
What a fine essay on the Imposter Syndrome. Every word is a jewel, particularly those last two sentences. Hits right to the heart.
Neil Gaiman wrote about this, and I apologize if the story has already been recounted …
He was at a meeting with many others, and feeling a bit as if he didn’t belong. When he got into a conversation with another man; someone a bit older, quietly spoken and friendly; another man named Neil. And this other Neil eventually said that he didn’t see how he fit in with all these others; all he’d ever done was go where he was told. And so Neil Gaiman said to Neil Armstrong “But you were the first man on the moon!” And Neil Gaiman went on to write that if you feel you don’t fit in, look around and guess how many others feel the same.
Thank you. I didn’t know how much I needed this.
Thank you. I didn’t know how much I needed this.
For some reason, your use of “sequel” jumped out at me. I think that you have not ever been writing sequels. You’ve just been continuing an engrossing saga that is far too long and complex to be contained in a single book! Or it is like a feast with many courses, which we continue to devour!
Oh yeah!
A comment I read years ago that stuck: “If you are busy worrying about what everyone around you thinks of you … and meanwhile everyone around you is busy worrying about what you think of them … then the only person actually thinking about you is — YOU.”
Bam Bam
Bam BAm BAM …
it’s a puddle … meeting your own needs … success
believe
After my first comment, I followed the link to Jessie Mihalik’s essay and read it. It’s weird, but while I was thinking about it, I remembered something I found online a few years back.
I can’t find it again, but the author was attending a professional convention and ended up talking to a fellow guest at one of the receptions. The fellow guest was one of the first astronauts on the moon (though I forget which), and admitted to feeling like an imposter being there with all the famous-in-their-field attendees.
You are the fourth or fifth person to mention the story 🙂- it is a Neil Gaiman anecdote about Neil Armstrong.
Your mother was very wise! Awesome advice. sending love and positive vibes to you
I’m just finishing my master’s in counselling course and we as students in a intensive zoom session all asked our facilitators and fellow experienced students about this.
It was both amazing and shocking to learn that our facilitators, one semi retired, still felt imposter syndrome. she said she welcomes it as it still means you’re open and curious.
It was wonderful to gain this perspective.
I appreciate you sharing this perspective, and I will do my best to remember this!
Thank you!
Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this! Her article was timely for me and much appreciated. 🤗
Your words can be applied to all walks of life. As a retired Civil Rights attorney, I can honestly say that I had a similar preoccupation with each new case. Thank you so much for sharing them with us.
Nuff said.
Thanks for the great reminder. Your Mom’s advice applies to so many areas of life — we never know the trade offs and compromises other people have made for the success, or things, or relationship balance in their life and those trades might not work in our lives.
Thank you. Inspiring and reassuring.
Good advice & thoughts on any career. I am in tech support, and always worry that I don’t, know enough.
I’ve been debating leaving a comment for days, but hey, it might help.
I’m literally fighting starting my 3rd reread of Kate Daniels in just this year.
I’ve reread all things Kinsmen twice and both Innkeeper and Hidden Legacy once each, all in the last 6 months.
You are one of 3 authors actively producing content I’m still invested in and excited by.
You are one of 2 authors who engage with an audience of which I am still a part and whose engagement I participate in – the other being Neil Gaiman’s tumblr.
Imposter?? House Andrews, with all sincerity, y’all are literally pinnacle masters of the craft for me. A lot of my sanity these past few years has been kept because of your work and I’ll never be able to thank y’all enough for it.
And I have stopped fighting and just finished Questionable Client. Can I ask: what would Saiman have asked the cat if he’d retained the acorn?
There is a great song by The Doubleclicks about the Mars Rover Curiosity having imposter syndrome called “Imposter”. Listening to it helped when I got a job that I did not feel I really qualified for, but ultimately did quite well at! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHU67s5tOSA
Can we interest you in speaking at ArmadilloCon next year? I was a panelist and workshop instructor. Your name came up in a couple of panels (compared to Elizabeth Moon) in terms of worldbuilding and creating “scientific” fiction.
I’m glad you got something out of that panel. I felt like I’d been through a therapy session when I left. And that comment about our brains moving the goalposts was the one that really resonated the most.
I love it. Take you for lifting up my self-esteem
One of the most important lessons for me was to learn about the Dunning-Kruger study. These bright folks, who if I recall correctly were professors at Cornell, figured out that people with low abilities at something will invariably over-estimate their own abilities and hence will have more rather than less confidence in themselves.
People who are not competent don’t know that they’re not competent and so overestimate their competence.
The corollary is that the more competent a person is, the more likely that the person will have less confidence in their abilities rather than more.
That’s because people who are really expert at something have a pretty good idea that there’s lots that they don’t know. They also know that there are areas that they don’t even know about, so they know that they don’t know what they don’t know. And the more one knows, the more one understands that one’s knowledge is limited.
So if one does have knowledge about something, and one still has the imposter syndrome, it may be a sign that one really is rather expert at that thing.
I read this post at a really good time. I always thought imposter syndrome didn’t apply to me because I didn’t feel like an imposter. But I do feel not good enough. I do feel the goalposts ever moving beyond my grasp.
I’m about to publish my first book. It’s not a good one. It’s not even one I would usually choose to read. But I’m publishing it anyway because it’s the first I’ve managed to write. The goalpost for the past 20 years was for me to finish writing a book, no matter how bad. It took 20 years because I never truly believe that I could do it, and I listened too closely to the experience of others – that fanciful things like being an author are not for people like me.
And now I’m finally publishing and I am sad because I’ve already moved onto the next post – writing something better. But if you’d told me five years ago I would be self publishing a book – even a bad one, I would have been gobsmacked. This post was a really good reminder – crippling doubt never served anyone. I’ve enjoyed so much the journey to date, and I am excited about the road from hereon out. Thanks for the reminder.
Thank you so much for this! I am going to bookmark it, so on the dark days I can be reminded as I struggle with/against Imposter Syndrome.
BDH—- Thank you also for sharing your stories, links, experiences, and perspectives.
This post and thread are *chef’s kiss*