I start my Mondays with news, and today I found this interesting article from WSJ called No, I Don’t Want to Join Your Book Club by Betsy McKay. The article requires you to register unless you have a subscription. It’s a good read, but if you don’t want to go through the trouble of registering, I’ll summarize it below.
According to the article, traditional book clubs, “the kind where you have to read a book you didn’t pick, finish by a deadline and come to the meeting with something clever to say,” are not for everyone. Although book clubs have been “a staple of social life” for years, a lot of people have complaints. The book clubs might not cater or reflect their tastes and these readers shy from offering recommendation for the fear that the rest of the club won’t like their preferred reads. Reading assigned books feels too much like work. There is pressure to come up with “smart-sounding hot takes” about the books they’ve read and don’t like to be put on the spot.
Whatever reason, some people look for alternative to the traditional book club structure. Some become members of silent book clubs, gathering at local libraries, restaurants, breweries, or other fun places to quietly read in peace with other book-loving people. Some do away with assigned book lists and instead meet once a week over dinner to discuss the individual books they’ve read without the “classroom-vibe” ruining the mood. The people mentioned in the article really embrace this new format. There are many pictures of happy people reading together.
Moving on from the article to a more personal take, at the core, reading seems like a quintessentially private form of entertainment. It’s just you and the page. So why are people so eager to connect a talk about what they’ve read? Why is this a social pastime?
There are probably many reasons, but from a writer’s point of view, the need to discuss books makes perfect sense. Books are a form of communication. We write them to connect with other readers. We have things we want to say, and so we say them through the narrative. And then that communication filters through the reader, becomes altered and enriched by their thoughts, aided by their own life experiences, and it is passed on, to other readers.
As a writer, it’s fun to see this happen. Your message, your creation, living on. You can see it resonate or fail to resonate. Readers tend to view characters as role models. Writers, though, strive to mirror life by creating flawed characters, messy and imperfect. It is those imperfections and the inherent messiness that make for the best discussions, because in a way it contributes to the net of social ties that both bind and support us.
Whether we like it or not, we have some leftover emotions and survival mechanisms that evolved to keep us alive in more dangerous times. Fear is one of those. Young kids like to be scared. It must’ve been a part of some survival strategy. If a scary predator comes near and you are weak and small, your best bet is to hide and be very still. Sabretooth tigers no longer stalk our toddlers, but the need to experience that fear lingers. There is a reason why Goosebumps is a cultural phenomenon.
Hate. Another powerful emotion that most of us try to avoid. It’s a harmful state of being, both to the one who hates and to the one who is hated. We’re discouraged from hating and engaging in violence hate creates, and so we try to suppress the urge to hate. But the mechanism that activates it is still in place. A teacher once told me that the scariest thing in the world are good people who are given permission to hate. When emotion that is suppressed erupts, especially collectively, it causes irreparable damage.
On the flip side of the coin, in our ordinary lives, we are rarely thrilled about something. We don’t usually reach a state of being elated and or even that excited. We don’t often feel overwhelming relief. We don’t always get an opportunity to cheer in sympathy.
Books allow us to experience all of those extremes. We can celebrate a protagonist’s win, we can hate the antagonist as much as we like, and we can pass judgement on every character without any kind of social backlash. We can cry, we can yell, we can vent all we want.
And then we reach out and look for validation of our feelings. “Oh I really hated so and so. Did you hate him too? Yes? And I was so happy when so and so finally won. Were you? Oh good. I found my people.” There is acceptance and reassurance there. A safe sense of belonging, in a way.
What are your thoughts on book clubs? Are you a solitary reader or a social one?
Book clubs are one of those things that you *think* you will like and then you have to actually read the book and it’s not *your* kind of book or it just doesn’t look interesting or you plan to get to it and then put it off and oh cr*p there’s the deadline and you haven’t read it yet. Also, I don’t like discussing how I feel about books because I worry about being judged.
+1
I did join a “book” club, getting together with friends, started out by talking about books. We found out that we all liked different genres (some liked historic fiction, others preferred mysteries, and one liked sci-fi/uf 🙋🏽♀️).
So, now that the club is formed we get together drink ( matters time/temp of day) , snack and just BS once a month. We meet at a variety of places and laugh our asses off. We sometimes talk about books☺️ or projects we are up to🤷🏽♀️
Never thought I would be in a bookclub. However, I absolutely love mine! There are some traditional elements: each month 1 person picks a book – can be any genre. We meet, ostensibly to discuss the book, but no one is required to read the book. No shame, no disappointment, no judgement. We discuss the book only as long as we want (5-30 mins usually), then spend the rest of the time chatting about life and everything. It’s more like a girls’ night where some of us have read the same book. Naturally, we’ve read a couple House Andrews’ books.
Our book club is very much the same. I have found that the books that the majority dislikes about the book are the ones that get talked about the most. Sometimes it is hard to stay on track of actual discussions because people want the the social interaction. If someone doesn’t read the book there is no judgement, and we would never do political books. We have been together 15 years and I think we have grown in our relationships. We are an older group age range 62 – 80 half have lost their spouse and it is good for them to have a place to go and share about books or getting over the loss of a husband.
Completely solitary in my enjoyment of a good read. I don’t feel a need to discuss it with others.
Ditto!!
Hard agree.
Me, too, Norman! 👏🏼👏🏼
+1
I am with you. I may one on one discuss a book but that is it.
+1 Right there with you, Norman!
I am an introvert who really needs her quiet time which is fulfilled by reading. That definitely puts me in the solitary category. One sister belongs to a book club but it is more an excuse to get together and catch up with each other. That sister has been diagnosed with early stage Alzheimer’s and and suggested that she drop out because she can’t retain much memory of what she reads. Her book club buddies pooh poohed that idea and reminded her of the true function of the meetings
Good on sister’s book club buddies!
That’s so great her club wants to keep her in. The social contact is really important for people suffering from Alzheimer’s/dementia. Isolation makes it progress faster. She’s so fortunate to have a n loving social network like that.
I’m a solitary reader who desperately wants to talk about the book (if it stimulates me) with someone. Hence, my membership in the BDH.
Exactly! I’ve shared more online here than in any book club or book talk I’ve been in 🙂
+1
Book clubs and I were not/will never become a thing. *shudders*
I agree
+1
too much of an introvert…Book clubs are too much peopling..
+1
Me too🥰
This! Here I feel “safe” to share my views with other BDHs. Otherwise it’s me and my kindle.
would never do a book club for all the reasons mentioned here but felt like the comments during the serials (Innkeeper and Blood Heir) really fulfilled the need for validation and exploration that Ilona mentioned. The questions/discussions during the online book release zoom meetings can’t be beat. Engaging with the authors and hearing directly from them is like The Ultimate Best in the Universe Book Club experience.
A huge thank you to House Andrews and Mod R for generously creating the opportunity for the BDH to flourish.
+1
+1000
+1
All of the above. Introvert, shudder at the idea of book clubs, but like to share sometimes about books I really like. BDH and HA, plus Lamplighters Guild and Denizens of the Weird on Discord are my “people” that I enjoy sharing with and I can walk away anytime without hurting any feelings!
You perfectly stated my feelings- I am a solitary reader/rereader particularly of IA books (although read many mysteries and thrillers as well). BDH IS PERFECT for me.
+1
Our “book club” is another couple that we get together with, each hauling a sack of books, “I thought you might enjoy reading this.” And “here are the ones you loaned us last time. Read on your own time, comment on things that really struck you or not. Enjoy dinner with friends and catch up on their life as well.
Thats our family “book club” – every family gathering there are books swapped and passed along, recommendations made.
On the last cruise I took (Alaska) I was delighted by the ship’s gorgeous librsry with a window wall that had a narrow built in foot rest below the glass, plenty of comfy swivel chairs so you could angle for your degree of privacy and preferred view. There were a few tables also where some played cards, checkers or worked puzzles. A delightful group of regulars developed quickly and enjoyed sharing space and comparing our selections and books that had been contributed by past passengers as well as the ship’s collection.
I belong to two book clubs, mostly to socialize with people I would otherwise never see, but the books are often an uphill slog since my taste in books doesn’t match the majority of either group. Still worth it.
Yes, that’s it precisely. The first book we read this year was actually on my list and I liked it right up until I decided, ok I’m done with reading stupid life decisions. In other words about half way thru the book, which I proceeded to just skim. But the discussion was interesting and several friends had the same take on it. Without this club, I’d see most of these women maybe once a year, so definitely worth it.
I have not found a book club that even closely resembles the books I like to read. Most in my area read political, race, or philosophical books. Guess that’s what happens when you live a in college town. I have tried but most are not my cup of tea!
I would try and start one on your own, if you get a group of people together and take turns picking the book. I think the purpose of joining a book club is to read and discuss books you may not have read on your own, and have discussions on the book for as long as people are interested. Then if you aren’t an introvert enjoy the company of othered.
My book club actually got started because a number of our members were in other “book clubs” that were more like social get togethers and they were tired of nobody actually reading the books.
We alternate between picking a book together or having one person pick the book for the week (and then cycling through until the whole group has had a turn). We pick 1-2 weeks depending on the size of the book and then get together to discuss the book over dinner, rotating who hosts/cooks. Our reading tastes overlap in a lot of areas but there are some things we are wildly different on. It makes for a good mix of reading stuff you love and going a little outside of your comfort zone.
It helps that we know each other well enough that we can avoid picking a book or an author that we know a particular member will hate. And we’re good at discussing differences in opinions without it getting argumentative or accusatory. You also gotta remember that life happens — sometimes you don’t finish the book for the week and it is no big deal. No one is going to get upset at you for it.
It’s a bunch of close friends hanging out talking about books, what could be better? We’ve been going for 12 years and we’re still having a blast. Although I have to admit the idea of going somewhere to silently read with other people sounds lovely — I’ve never heard of a silent book club before.
Solitary reader. Though I will talk about books with people – especially in bookstores.
I don’t just like to read, I NEED to read. What I need to read varies daily, changed by the events of that day as they occur. It is my therapy. So assigned reading does not work for me.
However, I do LOVE to talk about books with my friends. If you are my friend, you most likely (although not necessarily) are a reader. My version of “book club” is basically a girls lunch. We talk about what we are reading and share our excitement about our different books, without spoilers. This is where all my best book recs come from.
I spent years talking to youngsters in the SF/Fantasy section of different bookstores. It was amazing to watch the changes as they started to realize that there were people of their parents’ generation who read and approved of what they liked.
I’ve recently joined a book club, just when we were assigned Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. It was heavy weather getting thru that. It was sort of like a classroom setting answering the questions the moderator posed. The head of the group has given us a list of categories of books to choose for next year ( Dec is going to be something about bees, Bright creatures?). Urban fantasy was not one of the categories listed. If I suggest a book then I will have to be the moderator and come up with questions.
I belong to a ‘book club’ with some former co-workers. First, we hit a half off book store. Then have dinner/supper and some drinks. Next, we hit a retail book store. Eventually we head home to cherish our new pretties.
Now this sounds like my kind of club!! Shopping for books and having dinner together!
📚🛍️🍷🍝🥧🍨🍰
(I think the fourth one is pasta…!)
I love this version of a book club!
I LOVE this idea!!!!!!
In our neighborhood book club, each person reads or watches or listens to whatever they want and then each month we meet in a members home and do a round robin where each person talks about one or more of these items. No shame if someone has nothing to contribute that month. Guests welcome. Then we break for snacks and chat/gossip. Great fun and we all get new ideas and perspectives.
(We tried the traditional way first and it did not work for us).
I love to talk about books in general. I do not currently belong a book club but mostly that is because I do not have the time. The ones I were involved with in the past ranged from fun and lively to wading though molasses.
I find the people who do not speak up with their real opinions about a book or being disinclined to recommend a book to the club because they do not want to get a negative response interesting. Does anyone think that is because with social media your opinion (or a snippet of it) can be sent around the world without your consent for everyone with a wi-fi connection to criticize? Or is it just natural shyness and I am making too much of it?
I don’t offer my real opinions or speak up because I get labeled as a troublemaker whose thoughts everyone should ignore because it’s assumed I’m being difficult and mean out of spite. It mystifies me because I am a quiet, courteous person. Book clubs feel too much like cliques to me where the point is to arrive at the same collective, feel-good opinion rather than explore different experiences of the book and why people feel that way. I do way better with knitting groups for the most part.
I try. It is difficult. *As I stare at the Book Club book next to me that I have not yet finished reading and the meeting is tomorrow night* Our group is virtual. Love the conversations. HATE having to read on a deadline. HATE feeling like I let the group down if I don’t continue reading a book that I would otherwise put down.
Life is short. My reading list is long. If a book is not working for me, I move on. This took a long time for me to be able to do.
Same! And sometimes I’m just not in the mood to read the books
I love reading in groups or by myself. I love sharing, though. I like to share quotes as I read and then the joy (or other emotions) of the book once I’ve read it. And I love hearing from other people what they think/thought of the books that they read.
I enjoy hearing rants, recommendations, you name it. And I’m most fascinated when we read the same book and notice different things about the story. That gives me motivation to go back and see if a second pass comes in at a different angle.
I am a solitary reader. That being said I do love to find new authors and series. So my friends know if they have read something they have enjoyed to share it. I do not like to dissect books and authors I just want to find great reads.
I’m in a nice chill book club. We definitely talk about the book but we also chat & connect as friends. I don’t really socialize with most of the people in the book club outside of book club so it’s nice to catch up & hear what is happening in other parts of my neighborhood. We meet about once every 6 weeks so it doesn’t feel like an assignment.
Book clubs are not for me. They always are reading books I have no desire to read and, in some cases, are openly scornful of certain genres of books. Really annoying.
i have never understood the point of formal book discussion groups, although I’ve tried several times. It always seemed more like homework. Worst was when I worked at a library and the boss would call me half an hour before the meeting started, to dump it on me. Ack.
Talking about books informally, though? No problems with that! Whether in a checkout line, at a friend’s, or anywhere else, I’m happy to share and learn.
This. Reading for me is escapist enjoyment, and everyone I know who has been part of the bookclub is more about being a clique, than about the book. Discussing a book with a friend? Fine.
I am a social reader, but the traditional book clubs I joined tended to read the most popular books. My tastes didnt always mesh with popular books so it started being a drag.
But recently my library has started “Bring your own book” book club. We meet every other Thursday and just chat about what we are reading and why we like it or dont. You dont even have to be finished with your book to show up.
This suits me better because I also read and listen to multiple books at the same time. So I can share all or one without pressure to finish the book. Its such a relaxed setting, also theres only 5 of us that regularly show up. If we had a bigger group I’m not sure we would get to everyone’s book.
I moderate a science fiction/fantasy bookclub that’s been going over 10 years (though we don’t have any original members left). We started as a library sponsored group that has shifted to private after the pandemic. Everyone nominates books and we vote twice a year. We don’t care if someone hasn’t read the book, if they don’t mind spoilers. [We discussed Burn For Me a few years ago. :)]
I’m a 12th grade English teacher who is doing her best to teach kids how to read and participate in classroom book clubs. Part of how I accomplish this is by having eight or nine titles, with four or five copies of each title, for students to choose from. Each individual picks their own book, and that’s how the club is formed. At the beginning of each class period, I teach them some critical reading skill to practice (just one!), modeling while I read out loud what I’m noticing, and doing quick annotations with sticky notes. So far, it’s been relatively successful, and I’m pretty happy with it. My students aren’t the most literate or academically-minded 17-year-olds, but with a little structure and guidance, they can get into a book. I’m quite proud of it, really.
I use the resources from this creator: https://www.stellarteacher.com/blog/book-clubs-in-the-classroom-5-tips-for-success/
It works. I love it.
This is BRILLIANT.
Oof.
“…the scariest thing in the world are good people who are given permission to hate. When emotion that is suppressed erupts, especially collectively, it causes irreparable damage.” – if that isn’t a prescient description of the state of the world! so-called leaders everywhere giving permission, and hate exploding. 😢
This is why I read your writing. Yeah, it’s urban fantasy, but it’s full of really sharp reflections of humanity and reality. And the humor to help me cope with reality, too.
Yeah, that stood out for me too. If people consider themselves good, then by definition they can’t do bad things, right? So if they’re given permission to hate, then by definition whatever they do out of hate can’t be bad, because they’re good people. OBVIOUSLY.
This is how all kinds of bad stuff happens.
Beautiful reflections!
I admit that the book club that I have belonged to for a number of years rarely reads my kind of books. I don’t go that often. I do like the people in the group but owy some of the books are so depressing!
I enjoy a good HEA and the protagonist wins the day. Life is too short to fill up on depressing books!
I’m an extrovert who needs a lot of time alone to read. I need people, and I need books.
The good thing about book clubs is diving deeper into the books and discovering more layers, more connections, more symbolism, more meaning through the conversation. I’ve enjoyed the book clubs (and writing groups) I’ve been in, but it is hard to put an “assigned” book first when I have my own list. It’s also hard when I’m the only person who loves scifi/spec fi/fantasy/urban fantasy.
I have a handful of close friends who share not only a love of books but also of the kind of books we like to read, and sharing about what we’re reading and getting recommendations is so much fun. I have one local friend and sometimes we’ll deep dive into a book that we’re both reading– so much fun! Another friend of mine live texted me as she read a book I had just finished (and helped me figure out why the ending was disappointing.)
I love books, I love my friends, and I love to talk about books with my friends.
And then there are book clubs.
Maybe when my kids are grown, I’ll have more time and the desire to read the “assigned” books… maybe. In the meantime, I’m happy with my books and discussing books with friends.
The success and failure of any book club (at least for me) depends on the person running it and having a good mix of people. I was in one I loved once and then one poisonous person showed up… no, that’s not fair. She wasn’t poisonous, she was just not the right fit for a lot of reasons and totally wrecked the whole thing. If the leader had been willing to pull her to one side and say “you need to talk less and listen more” (among other things), it might have been OK but so often we’re not. (TBF to her, I didn’t do that either!)
The high school I retired from has a book club called “Breakfast with Books”. We market it as “Not your Mother’s book club”, because there is no assigned reading. The students meet in the Library once a month, before school. We (Library staff) provide breakfast, (usually bagels and cream cheese) and the students come and talk about what they are reading for fun. We listen in and write down titles they are excited about so we can add them to the collection. Students basically run the meetings and because there’s free food we get a lot of passers-by who end up staying for the fun. My favorite meeting was right before winter break when the kids celebrate Jolabokaflod*, or the Icelandic Christmas Book Flood. There is a book grab-bag, followed by hot chocolate and silent reading time while we project a fireplace on the white board. It’s very restful. One year someone found a fireplace feed from a Scottish castle and the kids got really excited when a wolf-hound wandered into the picture and laid down in front of the fire.
*https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Icelandic_Christmas_book_flood
I love everything about this.
We started a book club in my neighborhood about a year ago. Initially I just thought of it as a social group. I almost exclusively have been reading urban fantasy for a while. The initial selection of books were mysteries and thriller. I enjoyed some, hated others. When there’s a book I’m not excited about I find audio books are a great option.
I’m happy to say I introduced the club to my favorite author with Burn for Me. I was genuinely nervous as the date approached. It felt weirdly personal on whether the other members would like a book I loved. The day of, I wondered if I’d be able to continue in the club if no one liked the book; it would be a sign that these weren’t my people. I shouldn’t have worried. The book was loved by all that attended.
I’m so glad we started the group. We’ve all become good friends, and I really appreciate that push to try different genres.
any chance we can get a Christmas special snippets from one of the other series….i.e. hidden legacy, innkeeper, or kinsman? love those series and I think it would be fun to check up on them sometime soon. thanks P
I do both. There are some spicier books that I don’t feel like I need to talk to others about, although I do belong to those author’s groups on Facebook, so I do have an outlet if I really wish to.
I love sharing favorite fantasy stories (just shared Kate with my sister’s friend), and tend to go overshare if people like fantasy.
I have done several book clubs and while reading books I know I don’t love can be a slog, I did have a good time at the discussion because I not only represented an age bracket that was otherwise not there (younger), I tended to have an opposed viewpoint and it was interesting to see why someone may have liked or related to the story in a way that I didn’t.
I always thought I’d love a book club and then tried one. I’ve realized I have an amazing time if I have a group of people and they JUST read what I recommend, but not the other way around 🫣
This post is so timely. The local brewery in town is starting a book club tonight, and it’s with a book that I love and have read a number of times. I’m just debating going to a place where I won’t know anyone (I’ve not been to this brewery yet). I’m trying to talk myself into it.
On the other hand, our local library has a book club in which they receive “book kits” that the library orders. These aren’t necessarily my type of books, but I have liked the picks from the last two months. In all honesty, the club mostly consists of older women who all know each other and like to gossip. Nothing wrong with that!
I spent years in education being told what books I should read, what books were acceptable for an English lit student who wanted to be a writer, and that anything that wasn’t classic literature or non-fiction was “low brow” and a precious waste of brain power. Took me a few years to realise that was bullshit and now I only read whatever the hell gives me the feels. Haven’t touched a classic for a long time, and I rarely read non-fiction. Book clubs are definitely not for me 🙂
Solitary reader! My book, my quiet time!
I belong to a sort of traditional book club however we don’t just do books but also tv shows and podcasts. Those are actually my favourite to do.
A lot of the fictional books are not always my cup of tea but I’ve found books I really like I wouldn’t have otherwise read.
My favourite genre for book club is non fiction as drives more discussion.
It’s definitely more social and I do struggle sometimes to finish as it can feel like homework.
Although this time it’s a Netflix show so should be good.
I joined a book club once. Thought I would enjoy it because I love to read and like dissecting a book, analyzing it, and deciding what parts I loved, and where it let me down. Yes, I got my BA in English Lit. The location was fabulous, an old hotel in New Orleans, charming, historic and with a great bar. The idea was wine, or whatever, and discussing the monthly book. We all got there on time to buy our beverage of choice and then there was a break to refill, refresh and resume.
But I found that most of the round table discussion was, “I liked it.” “I didn’t like it,” “I didn’t read it but wanted to come anyway to hear what you all thought.” All comments had equal value, none were challenged. The moderator was well read and the books were all worthwhile. But I found the two hours polite and pointless.
I quit after a year, but frequented the bar on occasion with friends.
The BDH is the most enjoyable book club I have ever encountered. I can get into first reads and re-reads, little details and way-out-there theories. I have made friends in this group and found existing friends that I have more that I realized in common with. It’s fantastic.
🤗
Exactly! This is why I like author blogs. You can find your discussions based on what you’re reading. You also get great recs for MORE reading.
I’m an introvert, so I want to solitary read . . . with my tea (or coffee or hot chocolate) and blanket. I’m ALL the introvert reading memes.
But I also like to discuss . . . just not f2f. Threaded discussions are great because you have time to think about what you’re going to say, you can get everyone’s input, and ModR filters out the evil.
+1
+1! The BDH is my book club. My people are here. Plus, everyone is either nice or moderator-ed (yes, that’s not a word, but you know what I mean). 🤗
I wouldn’t want to speak up in a traditional book club and most books I’ve seen promoted as “book club picks” aren’t my cup of tea. Reading is very personal to me, but I’ll discuss it with someone that I know loves books, just not in front of a group. 😳
Books are my safe place in the world. Books gave me a safe place to hide as a child and as a grown up they are still my favorite place to be. When my children were small their rooms were filled with books. It has carried onto my grandchildren. If we travel somewhere in the world I always bring back several children’s books. My friends are well aware of my love of books. When our second son went through a horrible divorce his ex-mother in law destroyed all the books we had given the children (plus my son’s possessions). My darling friends reached out to more friends and they delivered a ton of children’s books to take to our son’s new home. Several books were in french and the kids love them!
I can’t do regular books clubs and be told what to read and when and then have it evicerated by the group. Not my idea of a good time.
My book club is made up of two dear friends. We go away to the beach with our favorite food, some wine, books and no husbands. We read what we want, eat and drink a little wine. They only time we discuss a book is if one of us laughs out loud or starts to cry. That is a proper book club!
The only other book club I’ll ever belong to is the BDH!
How horrible! I’m glad people got together and made that right again!
Anyone who destroys books, I can’t even fathom. I was always told to respect books.
I’m a solitary reader, and my ‘bookclub’ is the third option – social media discussions on the author’s Fb, Reddit, etc…
All the interesting points of view, with no classroom assignments!
My childhood was school and arts and sports with reading filling every single crack in between. My best friend and I would go to the store or each others’ homes and read silently in the same room together for hours. When we see each other now, as adults in our 30’s, we do the same. To share my thoughts about books I love with someone who loves books and has the same taste as me, it’s as easy as breathing. But group discussions where I don’t know everyone well, don’t know their interests, and can’t tell if they’re simpatico can easily tarnish my experience.
I’m a solitary reader. I savor what I read. Trying to force myself to read something someone else thinks I should be reading is not happening.
I would consider the BDH a great book club since we discuss House Andrews books. 😁🥰
This. I hated being assigned books to read in school so much so that I ‘borrowed’ my older sister’s books and read them because I wanted to, not because someone told me to. I had a friend drop a book on my desk at work and told me I had to read it. That was over 20 years ago and I still haven’t opened the book. I guess I’m that kind of stubborn. It takes the enjoyment out of it to be manipulated into reading something..
I am mostly solitary and my book club, for the most part, won’t read what I do. Why do it? It is the Retired Librarians book club. We all worked together for a loooong time. As floor librarians and department managers. We talk about a book. Some read it some don’t if they didn’t get into it. We gather to lunch and gossip and see each other. The book is a big or small part depending on the book. Basically the book club is an excuse. We are all big readers of our own stuff and it all works out in the end. Plus, gossip!
I’ve been a solitary reader most of my life. Sometimes my friends would recommend a book, and we’d have discussions while/after I read it, but no formal book clubs. My friends and I tried to put one together a few years ago, but had a lot of the problems you mentioned – plus scheduling issues, or showing up to discover half the people hadn’t finished, or hadn’t read it at all.
That all being said, I recently joined another one, because I’m trying to become better friends with the people hosting it. Some positive parts of this one: before each one, everyone is invited to submit up to three potential books. Then there’s an anonymous vote for which one we should do. We’ve also been doing shorter books to start – gives everyone a better chance of finishing something they’re interested in. We’re also working to make this lowkey – discussions are often about things we liked/didn’t like, instead of trying to do any deep analytical dives.
I do think book clubs push me to read stuff I might not otherwise pick up!
BTW, this blog is my “book club” for books I enjoy reading, and re-reading
When I fantasize about being a different version of myself, that version is a Book Club Member. I think, Maybe it will force me to read outside my comfort zone; maybe I’ll read a book that teaches me something and enriches my intellect or makes more understanding of a social situation; maybe I’ll meet people I click with and broaden my (very small) social group.
But all these maybes belong to a person I am not, so I will remain the same solitary reader I’ve been for the last 40-ish years.
I like the concept but have a wall due to many of the things you just mentioned. I would also like to add money. I don’t want to buy a book that I don’t think I’ll like (and some of them can be pricey). The library doesn’t always have the book and if it does you can’t read at your leisure.
I am in a book club that started seven years ago with 16 strangers that lived in the same general area/neighborhood. It began with someone who was new to the area asking on NextDoor about book clubs to join.
We are now a core group of seven, and it’s a perfect number. We spend between 0-15 minutes discussing the book. The rest is social hour. There is no pressure if you didn’t read the book, although I did resolve to at least attempt to read each book. We have no rules except we will not accept new members (there was an incident…). We read whatever the month’s host picks. We read a balanced mix of fiction and nonfiction.
I like online book clubs because their main purpose (at least the two I am in) is “what do you recommend?”. I have found multiple great series and authors who were new-to-me through both of them. The recommendations aren’t just reading a static review. I can ask questions. I have a quirk/trigger unless I am in a really good headspace. If the dog dies, I am not reading it about 90% of the time. Sometimes I am in the mood for intricate plot and action and danger, and sometimes I just want a nice bowl of chicken soup. An interactive recommendation is the BEST thing ever for me 🙂
What is the name of the online book club? I am interested in finding out more about other books in the sci-fi genre.
I have friends who do book clubs, movie clubs. It’s not my thing. I read a lot. a LOT. (So far this year I’ve read 128 new books plus reread at least one old book a day). I have issues with reading “assigned reading”. I don’t read on schedule. I love to talk about something I’ve read in common but not on a schedule.
Starting in Covid, a group of girlfriends started zooming on Friday nights. I have one friend (well several friends but one in the group)who probably reads as much or more than I do and we’re were geeking about a series. The next week everyone in our group had bought or checked out the books from the series. We still do the Zoom. And once in a while one of us will read something and recommend it to the group… and then the next week we’re all talking about the book. This is the kind of “book club” I like.
My sisters and I have been in a book club for (counts on fingers… gets a calculator…) 27 years, with friends drifting in and out. These days we take turns hosting, and the host picks the books. We’ve done every kind of book; poetry, non-fiction, fantasy, romance, mystery, even a cookbook! There’s no pressure or shame for not reading the book, and lots of room for discussion of plots, ideas, and what’s going on in our personal lives. And of course good food and drinks. A few years ago one of us bought a sign that goes with the host that says, “My book club can drink your book club under the table.” For me, it’s a chance every 6-8 weeks to share ideas, hear stories, and connect heart to heart.
I am (mostly) a solitary reader (although I now get to share some of my books with my husband which is awesome). I’m mostly a solitary reader because I don’t know any one in real life who actually reads the type of books I like. But also because time is at a premium for me – I can barely manage to get the things done that I need to do much less want to do.
I like to read books on my own and read comments about them online and share my thoughts the same way – like Goodreads or the comments section on your site.
I have my book friends who, as a group, like to talk about their recent finds and talk over their recommendations – both good and bad.
I’m a single officer in the military and move to a new city every 2-3 years. The limitations of who you can be friends with an an officer (no fraternization) severely limits my social support pool. It’s HARD to make friends as an adult. And then start over again every couple of years. Not to mention all the pitfalls regarding the new onset of social anxiety that exists post Covid. Book club is my only social outlet right now. I’m in a big city with lots of indie book stores and one of them has a fantasy romance book club. It’s pretty much the ONLY place I can talk to about one of my favorite passions right now. My work also has a book club, but the books are all boring leadership philosophies and offer no form of escapism. I think any place where you can sit with like-minded people and talk about a topic you enjoy is great, and a good foundation to build relationships. Long live book clubs!
I know it’s not the same as meeting up in real life but both Reddit and Goodreads have genre book clubs.
They might offer a sense of continuity in addition to any physical book clubs you attend while stationed; and if you develop good relationships with anyone online and then happened to travel near their location you could even meet up and have a local tour guide / potential ready made friend.
Failing all else you might get some good book recommendations or provide some for someone else.
Solitary. Life is too short to waste my time reading a book someone thinks will be good for me. I do enjoy belonging to book chats online like BDH. Hearing opinions and questions from other people who are reading the same books I do is interesting.
my friends and I would read whatever caught our fancy and then meet and discuss each choice- many tried genres they never thought they would enjoy ended up. collecting the authors they enjoyed but we all moved away and the book club just ended
I need to read every day but I do help run a book club at my Library. I originated as a Sci-fi Fantasy books club, then included Sherlock Holmes and while that is still the basis, my question is “What have you been reading lately?” One member is strictly cozy mysteries when they attend. And attendance is in person or online via Teams. We were totally remote during the pandemic and just decided to combine things
I loved my Mom’s book club she was in when I was a kid. They had three giant suitcases full of books. The person hosting for the month had to go buy 5 new books to add to the suitcases. At the “meetings” they drank tea and ate cake and everyone chose 5 books. It was like a travelling library!! I used to love it when my Mom hosted and my sister and I could look at the books in the suitcases!
I really enjoyed the take on reading from the Writers’ perspective. That the writer sees it as an active communication makes me happy.
I would really like the free form book club. I, unfortunately, am not the quietest reader, so that one would not be a good fit for me. I laugh, gasp, growl and otherwise respond to what I am reading. I have been told watching me read can be entertaining as I apparently make a LOT of faces, too lol
I’ve never joined a book club and I changed my degree when I realised how much I loathed critical reading, particularly when circumscribed to a given agenda.
I think when you look more at the history of book clubs, they’ve never been as much about readers and books as about tacitly eluding oppression – particularly misogyny since pleasure reading is often uniquely ascribed to women; and about community support.
Then more recently book clubs became both an educational tool and a societal aspiration, a status symbol that marks a certain level of attainment and desire.
Whereas an actual reader who loves to read these days can easily access a wealth of fellow fans on social media and either join them in-person or continue an online relationship.
And let’s face it, most of us who read for pleasure mostly want to enthuse over our favourites and argue minor details within them passionately and vociferously.
I’m on Goodreads, I follow authors’ blogs; publishers’ blogs; I’ve been known to read genre community sites and forums, even those not in my number one favourite fields – the HABO’s on SBTB crack me up despite never knowing any.
I comment on some of these (especially my beloved BDH 😉) and interact with other readers.
If that’s not a truer version of a book club then I don’t know what is.
Exactly.
I now know what HABO’s on SBTB are and, alas, I also know none of them… yet. Thanks for a new blog to check on!
I have been a member of a bookclub for 25(?) Years…
We mostly read Fiction and have loose ‘rules’…. That continue to evolve.
The host picks a book; no more than 500 pages and available in paper back.
Typically fiction, but YA, Sci/Fi , all genres are welcome. We grew to hate depressing books and at one point banned Oprah’s selections and WWII because they were all so tough to read….
Everyone brings a potluck dish and a bottle of wine to drink or leave with host as thanks for hosting. ( we do have to check with hostess as one time we all showed up with dessert!
Sometimes there is good discussion and other times we all give a thumbs up or down and move on.
It has been a great social outlet. And I love it , even though sometimes I don’t manage to read the book. No pressure— just good friends and once a month visits.
I was in a high school book club. I joined it with the best intentions, but realized later it’s not for me. I am most definitely a solitary reader.
Though I am intrigued by a “silent reading party” that’s regularly held at a local hotel. I’d consider attending one of those. It might be quieter than the library 🙂
I am a solitary reader, because I want to read what I want to read. I don’t want to read what is assigned. But at the same time I would love to have someone to discuss what I am reading. The silent book club sounds interesting, if I can’t discuss what I am reading with someone else that is reading the same book, then it seems like a lot of effort for little return. That being said I would try it if I knew of one near me.
I like reading alone and have also been in a book group for almost 40 years. We primarily read books by women, because we started out wanting to support woman authors. I like the book group because we read books I might not have picked on my own, and I learn more about the book from hearing my book group friends perspectives. It is also social, and we have been together through marriages, births, deaths, and now grandkids. It is a chore sometimes when I have to finish by a certain date and I don’t love the book, but the discussions are always excellent. We also use our book group selections to help us learn about topics.
Yes, Cecelia, my book club is exactly like this.
I’ve been in a book club for about 4 years now. Every December, each of us picks 1 or 2 books to present to the group and then“host”if the group finds them interesting. We all have different tastes, and some of them are not ever what I would like. I’m the SF/Fantasy genre picker , because none of the rest ever really read those. They usually don’t like my pick, but to be fair, I seldom like theirs! However, there have been some great books that I never would have read that I absolutely love and I’m glad I was given the chance.
Since Covid-19, I’ve been less of a people-person, so the discussions both in person and virtual have been more of a challenge.
No one I know enjoys books of our genre ~ uf, pnr, scifi rom etc etc so Goodreads was a godsend for me. I’m co-mod of a group that specializes in that kind of book and we do recommendations and the odd challenge, but never do we specify a book unless its the Book of the Month, and that’s voted on every month.
Sadly the BOM is dwindling, probably for all the reasons mentioned above, like lack of time, can’t afford a new book etc. Never mind, we just add the books to our group bookshelves which now has over 5,000 books listed. Its a wonderful resource.
We also list and discuss the fabulous authors such as Patricia Briggs, Nalini Singh, Chloe Neill, and of course IA and many more. We discuss new books, what’s coming out, and the members contribute a lot to that, as each has their own favourites.
So my reading is alone, then I can discuss anything I like about the book or what didn’t work for me with my on-line friends, and everyone’s friendly and happy to disagree or agree in a respectful way.
Groups on Goodreads are the best thing about it.
I’m a solitary reader. I read a lot. Everything from trashy romance to police procedurals to fantasy. My mother-in-law has been in a book club for years. One year, she asked me for fun recommendations for her book club. I suggested a chick-lit/romance type of book that was laugh-out-loud funny. I had recommended it to my grandmother, aunts, and stepmother. Everyone had thought it was a hoot. My MIL passed me The Secret Lives of Bees as we were leaving and informed me it was a little “risque.” I read the book, turned to my hubby, and said, “If your mom thinks that book is risque, she’s going to think I’m a scarlet woman!”
I think the book club sounds like fun, but I don’t always “like”what the book clubs think are worthy books.
I am much more inclined to discuss random books with whomever or put my thoughts out on the internet. Have met so many great people that way. Traditional bookclubs remind me of assigned reading from school, never my favorite.
I really enjoy talking about the books I read with friends who like the same type of books. I also enjoy recommending books to people but I usually try to figure out what sorts of books they like and or dislike before I recommend one. I would not join a book club unless I know the people and at least don’t mind the types of books they read.
I’ve never been in a book club. I have always been a pretty solitary person though and nobody I know reads SF/UF books which is what I mostly read. I enjoy the escapism after a long day at work dealing with problems. My husband reads a lot too but he prefers different kinds of books so I don’t chat about mine with him.
It is always good “chatting” with the BDH though. I like reading the comments, especially when you do a serial. It is as close to a book club as I will probably get.
Extreme solidarity and always have been. My only exception is this blog! Because I actually enjoy reading what others thought after reading and the crazy theories people come up with. Especially our Innkeeper Fridays …that is pure community!
I’ve never been in a formal book club…I always imagined those were Oprah’s book choices and not my favorite genres…she never close Interview With A Vampire lol for example …
Here, in the BDH, perfect blend of books I love and online community…💗
Reading the theories and conspiracies of the BDH is always a good time for me! Some have me scratching my head and wondering how they came to that conclusion and others trigger that “ah ha!” moment where things just click that I didn’t see before. 😊
Reading is one of my few “for me” things, and I never want to read a book I’m not thrilled to pick up. That’s why I keep turning down my friends’ invites to join their book clubs – I don’t want other people picking what books I read.
So the alternative in the article, where you join people but read a book of your choice, sounds really ideal. And talking about what different books people are reading sounds like great fun too. Now I’m tempted to start a book club like this!
I have a book club, but it’s full of people who want to read self help books and not any type fiction. I still attend because it’s mostly a mommy play date (all our kids are under 7 and play together while we visit, mostly about things other than the book we read), and they don’t mind summarizing the book for me if I don’t read it, lol. I joined the BDH during the serial for Sweep of the Blade while I was pregnant with my second kiddo, and I would read and reread the posted story and comments over and over and over just to survive, and then reread the entire thing a third while I was in labor lol. I’d tell my husband “It’s book club day,” any time there was a new post. BDH is the best book club!!
Mainly solitary, but web novels are an exception. I will comment on the novel and read other people’s comments. I try not to say nasty things about the author, though I might leave constructive criticism if I get the impression that whatever translated the story into English is off(saying passed away instead of passed out, using scepter instead of cane).
I run a romance bookclub. We encourage people to show up even if they didn’t read the book because it’s almost as much a social club as it is about the books. It’s a lot of fun and we’ve been at it for 8 years now? We don’t always agree on the books and that’s okay! Sometimes it’s ugh this book didn’t work for me and other times it’s oh wow I never would have picked this up on my own.
I’ve been to other books clubs that have essay question type of discussions and those don’t work for me. I think it’s as much about finding the right kind of group as it is the right kind of books.
I belong to 2 book clubs and I am the silent majority that read chosen books that I don’t like. The books are about struggles during WW II, tragic family dramas and rereads of classics(ie Grapes of Wrath). Books by you, Nora Roberts, Patricia Briggs, Nalini Singh, Anne McCafferty would never be read. Sigh. Finding your blog and other author blogs has shown me not to be a weird lonely SciFi reader. I love the Horde. #embracemyweirdness. Lol
That’s why I do author pages/author fan pages instead of book clubs. that way I know the people are at least somewhat on the same page as I am. And if I get really lucky the author will sometimes jump on and clarify or in some cases egg people on lol.
I run a book club that started in 2019. It started organically, realizing friends who just love reading, and has gone with it.
I didn’t realize until some time within the last year or so that I run it “weird.” We choose the theme for the next month by a suggestion. Typically someone has an idea and the rest run with it, but occasionally they’re are several ideas that get moderated (by me) then voted upon. People suggest books to meet that theme. Then we decide what to read by voting.
November our theme is “Wish was adapted into an anime.” December we’re doing a “secret Santa”. Everyone wrote 3 things they wanted out of an ideal book (for them). I’ve discovered “cozy mysteries” by looking into meeting the criteria I drew.
We meet once a month, but chit chat on whatever we may be reading at the time on our discord server. I’ve become a Scalizi fan and I believe I’ve created a few IA fans though our conversations. (Not BDH card members, but at least got name recognition)
To me.. my book club is the perfect mixture of introvert and socializing. Peeps are on the server who never come to meetings. They suggest books sometimes, so I know they’re reading and they’re participating in their silent fashion. I consider it a win.
Have I read some things that made me grind my teeth to get through? Yes. But getting to the meeting and ranting about why it made me grind my teeth… worth it.
I joined a book club in grad school at church. Most of the books were standard female drama type books about having kids and middle age and I struggled to relate. We read the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and I came so excited. Christian allegory! Symbolism! Fantasy! The discussion lasted less than 5 minutes and most of them rolled their eyes and said it was so “made up”. I quit the book club that day and I’ve never found another because I was so embarrassed by being so excited about that book. For me, I guess you have to find your tribe if you want a book club.
I guess I’m kinda of in the middle between a solitary reader and a social reader? I tend to avoid book clubs that might assign books I don’t feel like reading, but I enjoy discussing books I’ve read with others. I love recommending books.
I am in a cozy mystery book club started by my county library in June of 2021. We meet via Zoom once a month. For the first half hour, we talk about the book and any other cozies we might be reading. For the second half hour, the author joins us, so we can ask questions about the book, their writing process (lots of plotters, but some pantsers), how they got started, that sort of thing. Some authors, particularly ones who are only 1 or 2 books into a series, will ask us questions about the book or particular characters.
Over the years, I have found that one other person in the club has completely different tastes than me. She likes super realistic ones. I like whimsical ones. That works out great, because at least one of us is bound to have great things to say about the book.
Spoilers abound, but if you haven’t read the book, you are still welcome to attend.
I am a solitary reader and I belong to a book club of family members. The club is tradional in that every member picks a book of their choice. We rate the book, give a quote and have a short discussion. I have read many books I would not have selected on my own, some I did not like but some I was pleasantly surprised. We don’t push for participation. Our family is spread across the country and this has been a nice why to keep in touch, not just superficially.
I once saw a post that said someone’s perfect vacation/retreat would be renting a cabin or B&B room with your BFF, reading all day drinking wine, then discuss each person’s book over dinner. THIS is my dream reading method.
I have that friend, but she’s in another country. Working on making that dream vacation happen. 🙂
Years ago, when I moved to a new city, I joined a “meet once a month over coffee to discuss the individual books we’ve read and trade the ones we won’t re-read” book club. Our tastes differed, but it turned out everyone read mysteries at least a bit. It eventually petered out as lives changed, but it was a great low pressure way to meet new people and discover new authors. And didn’t have the depressing book homework aspect of traditional book clubs.
I belong to a book club where we nominate and champion a book choice. Then we choose from those books what to read the next few months. We meet monthly and the leader cooks a meal. It is my favorite get together. Usually two fictions then a non-fiction. I use to belong to a library mystery book club and loved it too. Then the library decided we couldn’t choose our books and basically did a book in a bag thing. Not for me ever. I want a say in what I read. I of course read books that others have championed, and at times, I really dislike them. Usually I find myself out of my comfort zone at least a few times a year, but that is part of the appeal. If I really hate the book, no shaming if I DNF and just come for the camaraderie. I’m too old to waste time on books I dislike. I’ll die with a huge TBR pile, and that’s ok. Heaven will be ocean and a fab library. All my pets there along with those I love. Music, laughter, books, family and friends and pets. That’s the good stuff
I started a book club with all my friends who love to read and never have enough time to…so assignments aren’t feasible. We get together once a month at alternating homes for dinner and talk about what we’ve read for the month. Or listened to – audio books and podcasts both! The really beautiful thing is that all of us have gotten outside our comfort zones and tried new genres. Who knew I would enjoy SciFi and thriller mysteries? Now I know!!
I love discussing books with my book club. There are only 5 of us, sometimes up to 7, depending on the book selected. We all just throw out book ideas at the end of the session, and we maintain a list of possibles. I most appreciate that I end up reading books that I never would have picked up on my own. Our choices are diverse and eclectic, including fiction, non-fiction, classics, and any genre you could imagine. We range in age from 50-65 or so, but have little in common otherwise, it makes for lively discussions with many points of view based on our different life experiences. We manage about 10 meetings a year and aren’t fussy about moving things around to accommodate everyone. I feel like I get more pleasure out of a book when I can share the ideas and emotions it generates with others.
solitary reader
I belong to one book club. There are three of us, two in Virginia and one in Boston. We meet, online, about every six weeks. The category is ‘Golden Age Mysteries’. We take turns selecting the book. Usually an Agatha Christie but also Ngaio Marsh, Dorothy Sayers but also add others. Otherwise, it’s BDH and following an online mystery group’s blog. Love our BDH!
A SideNote, following your comment about “young kids like to be scared” and Goosebumps:
I am a bookmobile librarian. The question I hear the most from 2-4th graders? “Where are your Scary Books?”
Goosebumps are still a big fan favorite. The Library Of Doom series by Michael Dahl is another, even had a parent try to get one of them banned because it mentioned “murder” on the back cover. (The book was about a flock of crows and the blurb on the back was “when they gather, it’s Murder”. The parent must not have known the name for a flock of crows.)
But — books on Haunted Places. Books on Cryptids. Books on the traditional monsters (werewolves, ghosts, vampires). Books on modern fears (the ‘killer clown’, the Hook, etc).
We can’t keep them on the shelves, they go out as fast as they are checked in, just like Pokemon, Dogman/Catman, and Capt. Underpants.
I spent way too many years in school (including returning part time while working full time to get my masters degree) to want to ‘participate’ in groups. Reading for me is the delight in escaping to immerse in another world. It’s a solo activity for me.
For those who want to make it a social activity, go for it. I’ll pass.
I was assigned the “Mindset” book at work. All staff had to read it and come to the monthly meeting prepared to discuss. My contribution was that there was a line in there about how the ancient Greeks thought that after a major decision was made, a week later the group should get drunk and discuss it again to make sure they all still agreed it was a good plan. I asked if that meant we were all going out for TGIF this week and the admin were paying. Although my proposal was met with a great deal of support, it was denied. I haven’t done a work sponsored book club since then and so far admin is ok with that.
that’s hilarious.
Considering I facilitate a local book club, I’m very pro traditional book club. Our local book club reads a mix of sci-fi, fantasy, and horror. Yes there are books that I have dreaded reading, but I’ve never finished a book and thought at the end – gee I wish I hadn’t read that. Even if I dislike a book it’s an experience. I also enjoy getting to chat about the book. Many of my friends don’t read similar books so it is so nice to have a group to chat with. It’s only one book a month, it’s a small group, it’s relaxed and not everyone finishes every month which is fine (they get to lie through their teeth in the discussion and then we vote at the end who actually finished 🤣). I’ve tried online forums but for fear of offending indy authors some of the forums I’m on won’t allow a negative opinion, and that’s just no fun. In person and in smaller groups tends to allow more honesty of opinion.
I don’t know how I didn’t make this connection until now, but book clubs are essentially what BookTube is (youtube channels about reading). I’ve never been part of a book club, reading fantasy makes it harder to find a group, among a list of other barriers, but BookTube is easy to access and there are number of channels to discuss pretty much whatever niche you could ever want.
My preference is channels that do longer form content like group discussions with 3-4 people on a topic or book as a Livestream and people can join in with comments. Author interviews are also really interesting when the author is allowed to wander around on topics.
I attended one meeting of a book club. It was run by a college professor and she held true to form. You didn’t have to read the book but she called on each person for their opinion. Notes were made! I found the people very pretentious, borderline arrogant.
Most definitely a solitary reader.
I want to read what I want to read when I want to read it. I hate being told what to read or pressured to read something by friends. Just tell me you liked it and maybe I’ll look at it when I want to.
My book club has been meeting for 30+ years. We are supposed to all read the same book but seldom do. We have a love of reading in common and share what we read. It is fun and social.
I’m a solitary reader. I don’t even like audio books. I haven’t liked being read to since I was four years old. My only experience with a book club a friend invited me to join her and the hostess for dinner and talk about books. When said hostess asked my favorite genre and I said fantasy/science fiction she curled her nose and said HER club only read novels. I didn’t join. I’m kinda weird in that I don’t look for hidden meanings, morals of the story, or depth of characters. I just want to be entertained. And, though the genre Listed above is my fave, I read anything and everything. My favorite book in the last 10 years was Michaelangelos biography. Now if you want to use the “book club” as an excuse to hang out and drink wine with close friends, I’ve joined those.
“ I’m kinda weird in that I don’t look for hidden meanings, morals of the story, or depth of characters. I just want to be entertained.”
Me too! Analyzing a book ruins it for me. I want to enjoy the story and authors word choice.